College 25
By Corbin
How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman.
**********
For the short period of time that I worked in the Corporate World, I can say,
happily, that I was never subjected to sexual harassment; No butt-slapping,
groping or lewd comments made directly at me, nor was I ever invited to a peer
gathering that took place off site at Hooters, Strip Bars...or something else
foul like that. Also, I do not believe I worked in an unusual work environment,
I feel that allot of Companies are like mine. They had ethical standards and
hired ethical people while promoting a very balanced working environment.
Management was quick to jump on anyone that was even perceived to be acting
inappropriate. The more I think about it, I am mostly thankful for the fact I am
not in jail. I bet you didn't expect that comment, but it's true. I know how I
am, and if I am standing in an elevator or someone's office...or whatever...and
some guy was to grab my butt, I can honestly say that I would be beating that
man to within an inch of his life. Thus I would be guilty of violence in the
workplace and probably hauled off to jail, not to mention fired!
I've punched a guy before...uhm...make that two...okay, I'm not going to sit
here and recollect each one but they had it coming. I aimed straight for the
nose, the nose provides some cushion for the blow, but my knuckles would still
ring out with a bit of pain because ultimately bone connects with bone. But I'll
never forget that first time, I was so stunned...not that I threw the punch, but
at the effects! He just collapsed to the ground while cupping his face, it took
a second but then blood started to smear everywhere and I suspect it was good
and broken too. I could even feel the cartilage crunching under my knuckles as
it flattened...ewww...isn't that gross! I thought it was...or maybe it was my
imagination working now...I'm sure I felt something giving and popping.
You know what was really gross? The sound he was making afterwards, that
gurgling, coughing sound as he spit blood out of his mouth, I guess from where
it was running down the back of his throat.
That was it...end of fight...not very dramatic huh? Most fights are very anti-
climactic.
Aren't you glad I shared that? :)
But I'm really such a cuddly, romantic girly-girl sometimes it's sickening
(blush).
**********
I actually get comments from women who say things like "Pushing up 65lb
dumbbells ain't shit!" or "Is that all?"
Uhm, no that's not ALL I can do, I just don't make it a habit of walking into
the gym and throwing on the maximum number of plates every time. What's the
sense in that? Besides wrecking your body...joints and so on. You have to pace
yourself, over the years I watched many a 'big' man and women cripple themselves
by coming into the gym and doing the absolute maximum their body can tolerate.
The one thing that grates on my nerves most of all are the guys and girls that
feel the need to DROP the dumbbells on the floor. There are signs posted all
around the gym "Please do not drop the weights". But apparently that does not
apply to these knuckleheads, they huff-and-puff and have about ten aneurisms
trying to get those giant dumbbells into the air, and when they've exhausted
every last ounce of strength from their body, the go totally lax. Letting the
big weights flop to the ground with jarring THUMP!
Instead of struggling to do just one-more-rep, I use that last bit of energy to
gently set the weights down on the ground. It's called respecting the rules of
the establishment, but respect in this society is becoming a foreign term to
most people.
**********
The trip to the beach that Dale mentioned occurred my Junior year, but it
was turning into a complete fiasco. Sharon was involved in the planning by now,
why? Because she loved being the organizer and taking control, and getting her
father to pull strings that would score us a beach house down in Florida.
The round up included: Myself, Dale, Sharon, Kevin, and a mix of guys and girls
from Soccer, Football, Fraternity and Sharon's Sorority.
I was over at her Sorority house when she sprung the list on me, when she got to
the bottom I said, "Add Nikki and Rob", I fully expected to get a bucket load of
crap from her about Nikki. Sharon always felt threatened by my friendship with
Nikki and of course Sharon suspected Nik and I were fooling around, but Sharon
also realized that every time she tried to drive a wedge between Nik and I, it
only drove a bigger wedge between me and Sharon, got that? Anyway, her lips
tensed and I could tell she wasn't happy but put their names down anyway.
"That's all the house can hold, did you clear it with them?" Sharon asked.
"Nope, but I will." And I leaned over to kiss Sharon on the cheek, "Thank you."
"You owe me." She growled.
"I always owe you." I waved as I walked away, "Maybe I'll wash your car or
something."
"Like five hundred times!" She yelled at me.
I drove straight to Nikki's apartment, I get so giddy and stupid where Nikki was
concerned, we both acted that way around one another, I wasn't thinking in a
rational way at all. Half way up the stairs I paused and got very nervous
thinking about how Nikki and I tend to let our guard down at times. Does that
sound silly? 'Yeah it does', taking a deep breath and leaning against the thick
wooden railing running up the stairs, I tried to relax, 'After all, Dale will
there and Rob will be with Nikki. But what about all the rumors and speculation?
Now I'm being silly, we've actually cooled things off for a little bit now, if
anything we've been acting more like close friends.' I felt retarded
overanalyzing this hole thing, besides I was convinced that they probably had
plans and wouldn't want to go.
That did not happen, they jumped at the chance, Rob looked at Nikki with this
wonderful expression, but Nikki was looking at me with that same expression and
I knew I was in trouble, we were in trouble. The slightest slip-up on this trip
could be disastrous, and so I walked back to my car feeling oddly down, how
could I be so strong and resolute with Dale, Sharon, my family and everything
else in my life when I needed to be, but just had no willpower around Nikki. I
was almost shaking and crying by the time I opened my car door, was I finally
beginning to realize that this girl, not more then a few yards away in her
apartment, had my heart and my love.
**********
2:00am that night and I can't sleep, I'm rolling over and looking at the clock
again, I've been uneasy and anxious for hours now.
"Damn" I sigh and pick up my cell phone, I'm feeling rotten for calling so late
and even worse when I realize I woke her out of a deep sleep.
"Corbin?" She must have seen my name on her caller id, but her voice is so
groggy that I really feel ashamed for calling.
"Nik, I'm sorry for calling so late." My voice is at a whisper while I clutch my
sheets tight against my chest, I'm trying to gauge how solid my voice is, when I
get emotional it tends to break up.
"What's wrong?" I can hear her tone and she's coming out of her sleep
now. I roll over onto my stomach and close my eyes saying a silent prayer,
hoping that the path I am going down is the right one.
"Are you alone?" I ask.
"Yes" came her response almost before I even ended the question, almost
urgently.
"I was thinking of you and I just wanted say how much I love you. How much,"
Crud, I have to pause, a tear is running down my cheek and I need to hold it
together for a few more seconds, "Just how much I am so in love with you."
I hear her begin to cry on the other end of the line, she may even be smiling,
strange I can detect things like that. 'This is crazy' I think, whispering 'I
love you' to some beautiful exotic girl in the middle of the night. My family,
my friends, no one knows this moment is happening, but I do and so does Nikki,
for how long can we keep this private?
"I love you so much." Nikki weeps into the phone and that causes me to cry.
"I want to see you, please come over." Nikki asks, of course I say yes.
I flip my phone closed and tap it against my forehead, wondering if my head is
hollow because if I had any sense I would not be doing this. But my heart is
leading this charge now, I've tried for weeks to get my brain into overdrive
and shut the door on all of this, focus on Dale and the future we could have
together. But I can't take this pain any longer, it doesn't go away but slowly
keeps building until I am an emotional wreck, the only thing that soothes this
ache is her touch and voice. My feet swing out from under the covers and I slip
into my sandals, and I feel like I am on some mission, a covert operation as I
try to be as quiet as possible leaving my apartment so as not to wake Sharon.
I see her light on and bounce up the stairs, the door opens telling me she's
been watching for me from the window. She's got her soccer shorts on and a tee
shirt, her eyes look a bit sleepy and I'm sure mine do as well, but those dark
exotic eyes beam nothing but joy as I walk straight into her arms. I feel safe,
at home and at peace, my anxieties are swept away and we move into her foyer,
one of us kicks the door shut and locks it.
"I've missed you." I began to weep.
"I've missed you too." Nikki cries onto my shoulder.
You have to understand, those words had nothing to do with the physical presence
of seeing one another, that happens almost every day with practice and such.
I'm talking emotionally, how we have been apart from one another while trying to
navigate our lives in some direction that resembles a normal friendship.
It was so innocent and sweet, we laid down on her bed, fully dressed in our
shorts and shirt, just holding one another and cuddling. "I don't want to be
anywhere else but in your arms." Nikki says and kisses me on the cheek, I smile
and snuggle closer to her.
Even now, in such a moment of tender intimacy we avoided certain topics, like
the future and boyfriends.
**********
A whole day of flying is no fun, but that is what it took to get down to our
destination at Cocoa Beach. It was beautiful, we had great weather, a beach
front property, all thanks to Sharon's family knowing someone that was kind of
enough to let us use their beach house. For some odd reason I was a little
bothered by the presumption on Dale's part that we would be sharing a bed
together, it seemed that every couple there was sharing a bed together, maybe I
felt like it just added fuel to the speculation that Dale and I were sleeping
together, uhm I mean having sex together.
Everyone was pretty tired from the traveling, at least I was, my anxiety is very
high and I cannot get any rest while driving, flying or whatever. But the
approach to the beach house and the ocean began to reenergize me a bit, it was
also having the same giddy effect on everyone else, and with twelve people in
our group, the energy level quickly escalated into a party atmosphere. I just
hoped these people didn't get to obnoxious, you see my anxieties are already
kicking in again.
We were not even in the house ten minutes when a few of the guys and girls
jumped into the pool fully clothed, retards, I just shook my head and watched
from the upstairs balcony. Well, shouldn't be so harsh, one of the retards was
Dale, but he's a Football, Frat boy and knows how to party with the best of
them.
"This is nice!" Comes the compliment from behind, soon Nikki is to my right,
leaning against the railing.
"Yeah, it really is."
Pretty soon Sharon was calling a quick meeting out by the pool, it was easier
then dragging all the sopping wet people out of the pool. I pulled up a chair
and sat to listen what Sharon was about to lecture us about, I already suspected
I knew.
"Look, first things first, this is not my house, not my parents house, but a
friend of my family that has graciously allowed to stay here. Just keep yourself
in check, please."
Wow, no long belittling lecture, just quick and to the point. Sharon pulled me
aside as I was going back into the house, "Corbin, I need your help, please make
sure no one trashes this place, you're the most responsible one here."
"Okay, yeah that's no problem, I'll help." I said. 'Great' I sighed privately, I
am now the self appointed baby sitter, when does MY vacation officially start?'
All I wanted to do was get back inside and unpack, heck I didn't even know what
room I was sleeping in yet, I had just dropped my suitcase somewhere in the
hallway. But I had to hold that thought due to a wet splat from behind, I was
now soaked from behind as Dale had come up and grabbed me.
"Dale!" I shrieked.
"You?re going for a swim!" He sighed and picked me up from behind.
"WHAT?! NO NO!" I protested, was he kidding? I was about push out from his
embrace, but then I felt his body twist and I guess the pool was closer then I
realized because now I was sailing thru the air and dunk, I was under water.
Damn, I must admit it felt good, the cool water washing over me after having
been outside in the hot sun. When I surfaced I began to push the hair out of my
eyes to find that Dale was already back in the water, almost in front of me. I
wasn't mad, actually I was smiling as we hugged, I needed to let the more
serious side of myself go for a few minutes and just enjoy the silliness of the
moment.
When I got out of the pool I was thankful that I had on my usual cargo shorts,
sandals and big tee shirt, I just looked a wet and wrinkled, nothing was see
thru that was for sure. Some of the other girls had thin shirts and skirts on,
some with no bras, so the guys got a nice wet tee shirt contest effect going on.
"Thanks." I said when Nikki tossed me a towel with a smile.
**********
Every morning was the same routine, off to the beach. I wore my usual
provocative attire, a skirted hipster bikini bottom and a halter bikini top. All
of the other girls were wearing typical string bikinis, and had the bodies made
for a bikini, but Nikki in her black string bikini was the most devastating, she
got allot of stares from every guy on the beach. In fact, I will go so far as to
say we were the best looking group on the beach, a vain statement perhaps, but
also an honest assessment.
Everyone knew I was a prude when it came to swimwear, but I tried to keep the
sun off my skin as much as possible and still had this mental block about those
skimpy bikinis my friends would wear, I just felt like I was standing outside in
my underwear, practically naked!
Given my stance on the swimwear situation I was still prodded persistently by
the guys to go buy something more revealing. I think it actually made Dale proud
when the guys would say, "Corbin you've got the best body out here, you should
show it off."
"Thanks." I would smile and say. I don't know about that, I was the most fit of
the girls, but Sharon and Nikki had great bodies as well.
A couple of days had gone by and with so many distractions, Nikki and I had
little to no time together, which was probably for the best. But something
happened, call it an opportunity as I sat under my umbrella and
looked up from my book, allot of our group had dispersed, either to walk the
beach, hang out in the water, or whatever. But Nikki was still laying face down
on her beach towel, arms folded under head, she had just come from a dip in the
ocean so she was still all wet.
"You shouldn't be trying to tan, bad for your skin you know." I said.
She smiled, "I know, just a few minutes and I'll get under the umbrella."
My eyes kept watching her legs, arms and back, her smooth tan skin so well
defined from years of soccer and exercise. Her hair jet black, plastered to her
back. Her muscles tensed as she shifted to a more comfortable spot on the
towel, the black bikini bottom that already did an inadequate job of covering
her perfectly round bottom stretched as her gluts flexed during the shift. I
felt an awkward warmth start down between my legs and I set the book down, no
way I could concentrate now. In fact, I wanted to cool off.
"Care to join me for a swim?" I asked while standing, I expected her to say no,
seeing how she just came out of the ocean.
"Sounds nice." She smiled and went to stand up, but I looked away, back out over
the water, any more staring on my part just caused me to ache for her even more
and it would just break my heart to not be able to touch her now.
'So why am I asking her for a swim?' I wondered as we walked towards the ocean,
maybe I wanted to tempt fate I suppose.
"Were are you girls staying?"
"Our names are blah-blah and blah-blah! What are yours?"
Came the comments as we walked past some guys, very direct, but it's spring
break and guys were hot on our tails every single step. The only time they
cooled the talk was when Nikki and I were with our boyfriends Dale and Rob, but
still that didn't keep them from making comments about how *hot* we were.
We waded out into the water, some of the incoming waves were pretty big which
made it all the more fun, soon we were both diving into the oncoming waves as
they would crash towards the shore. We got distracted and ended up drifting
several yards away until our camp was a rather small.
"Look how far we've drifted!" Nikki stood up, she raised a finger in the
direction of our tent.
I can't recall feeling this upbeat in a long time and snuck around behind my
distracted friend, "Gotcha!" I said and scooped her up in my arms tossing her
into an oncoming wave. Nikki's head bobbed out of the water as she came toward
me, I was ready but she paused to adjuster her bikini top, that's when I ran
toward the next oncoming wave and dove into the water.
"Not so fast!" I heard her voice but for a brief second and then my head was
under water as I swam. I felt fingers tips trying to grab my ankles, 'Damn she's
a fast swimmer.' I thought, I stopped and treaded water.
"Gotcha!" Nikki said, her teeth flashed even whiter compared to her tan skin,
her arms wrapped around my torso.
"Yeah, you've got me." I said as I caught my breath thru an open mouth, I also
realized I wasn't smiling. We were far enough out that the waves caused our
bodies to rise and fall before the waves would start to break, for a brief
moment we would loose sight of the shore during the swell.
Nikki stopped smiling as well and I started to wrap my arms around her body, I
looked around and she did the same, was anyone watching? Could anyone even see
us? I kissed her cheek as her head was still turned to look toward our camp.
"Another fine mess you've gotten us into." She said with a smile and kissed me
on the lips.
"Indeed." I sighed and kissed her back.
"Let's get back." She said, I just smiled and nodded as we swam back toward
shore.
"Race ya!" Nikki yelled.
"GO!" I said and took off first.
"Cheater!" Nikki said but caught up with me and passed me before we got to the
shore. It was a wonderful stroll back to the camp, unfortunately everyone was
already there which made our disappearance together all the more scrutinized, no
one said anything but I could feel it in the stairs.
**********
"What are you doing?" one of the girls asked that night. I was standing near the
balcony door, eavesdropping on the guys, they were all out on the upstairs
balcony having some 'man time' to themselves.
I held my hand up to indicate 'do not disturb me.'
"You are whipped." I heard the voice say but couldn't make out the guy making
the statement.
"Yes I am." Now that voice recognized, it was Dale!
"She still a virgin?" Came another and it was Kevin (Sharon's boyfriend) asking,
I cringed hearing my personal matters being discussed out in the open.
"Yep." Said Dale.
"Bullshit, you serious?" someone guys chimed in.
"Okay, yeah I'm lying." Dale laughed.
"Are you?" Someone asked.
"No I'm not lying you dope! I haven't even gotten a blow job in all the months
we've been dating."
"Are you serious? No fucking way? So you just what, hold hands and do what?" A
few guys are starting to really rib Dale, let's see how he does I wondered.
"Look, the fact of the matter is I love Corbin and she wants to wait till after
marriage, so I respect that. What am going to do? I'm not going to mess things
up she's already pissed off enough when I've pressured her in the past, so I
have to decide what's more important, my relationship or my own selfish, short
term interests. What more can I say?" He said.
I was almost in tears as he defended my choice and our relationship.
"I don't know how you do it Dale, she's got the most kick ass body I've ever
seen."
"No doubt." came another voice.
I guess I should be flattered, guess I still don't fully appreciate all the 'guy
banter' that includes talking about women as pure sex objects.
"Anyone want another beer?" I recognized Rob's ask.
Oh shit! I quickly ran back into the adjacent kitchen area.
"Any good gossip?" one of the girls asked me with a smile.
"Nah, too hard to hear." But the whole time I was just thinking about how weird
it felt to ease drop on a conversation like that.
"Hey Corbin, where's Nikki?" Rob asked and startled me out of my trance.
"Uh, downstairs I think." I said and stepped around Rob as he retrieved several
beers from the fridge, I then got an idea and walked out onto the balcony.
"Uh oh, everyone hush up!" Kevin chuckled at my sudden appearance I just smiled
and walked up behind Dale and rested my right hand on his left shoulder, he
looked up and smiled, I started to run my fingers thru his curly light brown
hair. A few minutes go by and Rob emerged with Nikki and the rest of the girls,
it was getting crowded on out the balcony now, but it was nice to have everyone
together.
"I got an idea," Piped up Dillon, one of Dale's football buddies, "let's all get
into the pool, birthday suites only." He smiled and brought his beer up to his
lips. A round of 'Hell yeahs' came from most of the guys and even some of the
girls.
I looked over at Sharon and she shrugged, "Maybe." which shocked me.
"You should see the look on your face Corbin!" Kevin laughed.
"What?" I mumbled.
"You look like you just sucked on a lemon." Dillon smiled.
"That's the standard response from us 'prudes'" I smiled and took a gulp of
beer. "So you can count me OUT." I said, "but you people go right ahead, It
will make for good entertainment." I glanced over at Nikki who had a faint grin
on her face and was watching me.
It was the last night at the beach house so I fully anticipated something wacky
like this would take place, I had put on my swimsuit and sat down by the pool to
watch the spectacle unfold. I was flanked by Nikki, Sharon, Dale and one of
Sharon's sorority sisters Karen, we had decided not to participate in this
particular night of swimming. Fortunately everyone in our group was fit and
athletic so even without clothes it was very easy on the eyes. But I could only
take so much and elbowed Dale, "Wanna get in the Jacuzzi?" I asked.
"Nude?" He smiled, I just lowered my head and gave him 'that look', which meant
'hell no'.
"Yeah, let's go." He said and we walked over, like most people I have a strong
liking for hot tubs/Jacuzzis. It was a large one, able to hold about eight or
nine people, so pretty soon we were joined by several other people. By this time
it was late and quite a bit of alcohol had been consumed by everyone, so now the
conversations got allot more bold and edgy, also the nudists had left the pool
and donned their bathing suites to join everyone else around the hot tub.
"So I want to ask a provocative question." Dillon announced, which was greeted
with a round of 'Uh oh here it comes.'
I just smiled and privately couldn't wait for the question, most likely it was
going to be something goofy, but that attitude of mine would quickly change.
"Is there any truth to the rumors about you and Nikki?"
You could hear a pin drop.
"Dillon shut up!" Sharon snapped, "That's just bullshit gossip!"
"We're all adults here, I'm not trying to be mean but everyone sitting hear has
been around campus enough to hear the insinuations, so I'm not saying
something new here." He shrugged.
I looked across at Nikki and she gave me this sad look and I knew what it meant
and it pained me as well, we were going to both flat out lie about our
feelings. For so long we talked about publicly making our relationship known,
but this was a moment where we were going to denounce our feelings for each
other. If I had the courage I could have spoken up and made a stand, Nikki
probably would have been shocked but she would have recovered to stand beside
me, however, I wasn't ready.
"It's just a rumor Dillon." I said and looked over at him with nothing more then
a quick glance and brushed some sweat from my forehead.
"We're just friends." Nikki said.
"So that's it?" He asked.
"That's it." Nikki said.
Really, what were our options, turn to Rob and Dale and say, 'Sorry guys, we are
breaking up with you so we can now be with each other?'
The conversation turned lighter but I was already in a funk, as was Nikki, but I
wanted to reassure her for some reason and moved my right leg a little until my
foot touched hers under the water. I saw Nikki's body shift and she looked up at
me, I smiled a little and she smiled back and brushed my foot back, we did that
continuously until everyone got out.
"Sorry about that." Sharon said pulling me aside.
"Nah, it's okay, rumors circulate you know. Had to face it sooner or later." I
shrugged.
I watched Nikki walk past Sharon and I into the house, she was holding Rob's
hand, she never even looked at me, I had visions of them going back to their
room and making love, I felt sick to my stomach. I would later find out they
actually had small argument about what came up at the hot tub.
I just went thru the motions as we cleaned up the house and got ready to leave,
I never had a moment alone with Nikki before we left, so I just tried to refocus
on getting back to school and into my routine of studying, lifting and sports.
**********
I thought I was clever, Nikki and I both thought we were clever, and we also
assumed that the conversation in the hot tub had snuffed out allot of concerns,
how naive we were.
Getting back to school after spring break was actually nice, it helped pull me
out of this funk. Nik and I talked a few times, but it was strained, the reality
that we both were still not ready to be open about our relationship was
disappointing for both of us, and the thought of trying to keep it secret was
becoming more painful then the joy we had while together. I guess we both had
gotten to a point where neither one of us wanted to sneak around, at least for
now I guess.
But then Dale dropped a bomb on me.
"You want to tell me the real story about you and Nikki?" He said, his face
suddenly grave and serious. I just froze, lying in bed looking at his face as my
right hand seemed to move on it's on, finding my face as my fingers slowly
rubbed my aching head and eyes. I had given no response but it was all he needed
to go on and continued.
"So it's not a rumor!" He suddenly stated and propped himself up on his right
elbow looking down at me.
I pulled my hand from my face and let it flop down on the bed, I was stunned, I
couldn't think or talk "It was just..." nothing came out, the word. Nikki could
not be explained away that easily and now Dale wanted answers, if Dale still
suspected enough to push the issue, then how many other people were walking
around with the same thoughts.
Nikki always seemed one step ahead, she wanted to beat the rumors and
accusations weeks ago by coming out in the open, but all I wanted to do was
delay the inevitable, to stay hiding in my shell. I wanted to give some excuse
that Nikki and I shared a brief moment together, but the depth of my love for
Nikki kept me from insulting what we have by telling some flimsy excuse
just to make Dale feel better.
"Just a what? Just some experimental phase? Lipstick lesbian thing?" He snapped,
not loudly, but there was a tone in his voice now, agitated and confused.
"What? NO! Nikki and I..." I was rambling but tried to collect something that
was coherent.
"While we were dating? Did you have sex with her! And you just sat here telling
me you never would fool around behind my back, you know that applies to women as
well Corbin!" Dale's voice continued to raise some.
'Again with the sex thing!' I thought and I knew where this was going, if I had
sex with Nikki...why not him.
"Are you bisexual Corbin?" He then asked, great now the questions were going to
Start really flying.
"Dale, I don't want to get into this now, this conversation is OVER." I growled
and sat up. There was and unexpected silence as I sat there, 'I have no idea
what to say or do.' I thought.
"I don't fucking believe this." He said, my bed creaked as his weight left the
bed upon standing, "You don't have anything to say to me Corbin?" he now stood
looking down at me, hands on hips.
"I'm sorry Dale, I should have come to you when it first happened, but I just
kept putting it off." I slowly swung my legs over the edge of the bed and rested
my elbows on my knees.
"So your attracted to women, that's why no sex?" He asked.
"Nik and I have never had sex, okay?" I looked up a bit irritated, "We just
got really close."
"Do you love her? Wait, don't answer that, I don't want to know, more
importantly are you two still seeing each other?"
"Still seeing one another? Well, not really." I sighed and my right leg started
to bounce nervously, a sign I was getting angry.
"Not really? What the hell kind of answer is that! Am I suppose to be okay with
all of this? And if you decide to start seeing her on the side again that should
just be fine?" His voice started raising some and he was pissed, but that was
okay, he had every right to be.
I looked up, raised my eyebrows and said, "I don't have any answers Dale, this
is completely different then anything I ever thought might happen to me."
"I guess you don't have anything to say," His expression went hard and for the
first time I saw him emotionally pushing me away, trying to protect himself, he
reached for his jacket and put it on, "All your big talk about honesty and being
faithful, all the while you're playing me for a fool while you figure things
out. Well go ahead and take as much time as you need Corbin because I really
think we need allot of time from one another." He basically stormed out after
that.
Wow, I felt like a low piece of crap, amazingly I didn't cry or get all
weepy, I just sat there for several minutes, I realized the situation had forced
itself upon me, my unwillingness to be open and honest with everyone had ended
up hurting Dale. I called Sharon on her cell phone, she came straight over from
Kevin's and she let me bend her ear for a good hour and I just went round and
round, being totally honest with her about Nikki and what just went down with
Dale.
I thought about going to see Nikki that night, but didn't, Dale was right I
needed to really sort some things out.
I did want to make ameands with Dale, I told him I really loved him and that it
was all my fault for all of this. We were sitting outside one day when out of
the blue he said, "You know, I've always found the thought of two girls being
together as a turn on, like allot of guys do, but now that's it's happened to
someone I love," I feel his hand start to gently rub my back, "and seeing how it
is jeopardizing our relationship, it just makes me sick to my stomach. I don't
want to share you with anyone, not another guy or girl."
I smiled just a little, it felt good to hear that, but I just reached over and
gripped Dale's leg and frowned when I looked at him, "I'm sorry Dale, Nikki and
I got involved and things got serious."
"Do you love her?" He asked.
Damn, I looked away and lowered my head, he was watching me closely, every thing
I did. I didn't want to answer, but so many things were now in the open, why
hide now? Just be honest Corbin it's always served you well in the past, I
slowly began to nod my head yes, but then added a verbal confirmation "Yes."
**********
On a whim one night I decided to hoof it down to one of the bars on campus,
knowing a number of my friends would be there and hoping that Nikki might be as
well. I don't know...I had a million thoughts swirling around my brain as I
strolled down the sidewalk.
"Hey tubby" I say to the bouncer at the door. No, I'm not being a smart ass, his
nickname was TUBBY, cause he was a bit of a lard ass.
"How are you doing Corbin?" He asked.
"Okay." I sigh.
"Three bucks." He says.
"Three bucks? Cover tonight?" I pause in shock. I don't like paying cover to get
into any place.
"There's a band tonight." He groans.
"They should pay me three bucks to listen to that fingernails-on-blackboard
music." I mumble while fishing into my pockets. He just shrugs, sometimes he
would give me a pass, letting me in for free, but Management was cracking down
on the freebies. So he takes my three bucks, stamps my hand and I walk in.
I took about five steps and stopped, I always do that...survey the scene and
decide if I am going to leave or stay. So I'm standing there in my most
fashionable attire: Running shoes, faded jeans, button down dark blue silk
shirt, long sleeve cause it was chilly that night. Funny, but I get the most
compliments when I'm in my jeans.
Now let me pause here and explain a few things about my state of mind. I was in
my senior year and full of my self (full of crap:) whatever you want to call it.
But I had imposed some self-important status on my shoulders at this time, I
could out lift, almost out run any girl on campus (some of those track girls are
damn fast and the then there are the long distance runners), and let me add most
any guy to that mix. With Dale no longer 'officially' my boyfriend I moved into
my free spirit stage, not wanting to be tied down to anyone, but it was my aloof
attitude that seemed to make me all the more desirable. My grades were
outstanding having acquired several honors over the years (I will spare you the
details, unless you really want me to get into some serious back patting). So
basically I thought I was HOT stuff, and why not, it took me years of socially
struggling to reach where I was, while still maintaining my self-respect and
dignity. Uhm, I suppose arrogant, self-righteous were also terms that applied to
me, but so what.
So, I'm scanning the bar and some guys are now scanning me, come on guys
plain as day I can see you elbowing each other and nodding in my direction. That
still makes me uncomfortable as hell, so I do my little awkward shuffle of my
feet and flip some of my hair over my right shoulder before stuffing my hands
into my pockets as I continue to look for Nikki. But what I caught sight of next
caused my stomach to turn, there was Dale, leaning up against the bar with his
arm around Tiffany. (Don't remember her? Well you'll have to go back and brush
up, she's had her sights on Dale for years now and with us broken up, well how
convenient. And to top things off, Tiffany was what my parents almost
called me at birth, did I mention that? How ironic, so I'm looking across the
room at my alter ego (In that Tiffany and I were such opposites) hanging onto my
ex-boyfriend. So there you have it, my face is pinched into an uncomfortable
expression as I kind of block out the band, loud patrons, and cigarette smoke
and try to come to terms with seeing Dale.
Ah, so now I don't feel like staying and do a quick about face, thinking I will
go back to my apartment and just chill.
"You okay?" Tubby asks as I reappear just a few minutes later.
"Yeah, tired." I groan and stroll back to my car, head down, thinking about how
all of that makes me feel.
"Hey...HEY!..."
I though I was hearing things, somebody is really being annoying, so much that
I finally look over my left shoulder to see these girls coming up behind me. I
don't recognize them at first, so I am about ready to ignore them cause I
figure they must be talking to someone else.
"Hey...DUMMY!...YOU...BLONDE GIRL!" I hear the voice, "What's your name?",
"Corbin!" I hear another one say behind me.
"What?" I snap and abruptly stop, turning around, but that's when I notice it's
the anorexic chick from the party, the hostess who was so rude to me. You must
be kidding, this is a dream come true...cause I'm not sick, or drunk and to be
honest a little irritated. But I don't feel like arguing and turn around, doing
a detour thru this parking lot, hoping they won't follow me.
"What's a matter honey? Too much to drink again?" She say's, and the
two other girls with her burst out laughing.
"Maybe she's going to puke after seeing Dale with his new girlfriend?" Another
one pipes up.
Ahhh, so these girl's are Tiffany's friends, I see now, the pieces are coming
together and I stop. Slowly I turn around to face my harassers, while
diplomatically putting my hands into my pockets thinking maybe if I take up a
none threatening posture the situation will maybe diffuse. I suppose to any
passerby, we look like four girl's having a nice little conversation...well,
let's just see about that.
"Are you done?" I sigh.
"Hardly." She sneers while her two beanpole friends look on with grand approval
of her comments. You see, I can't quite figure out what this girl's agenda is?
Do they just like to pick on people? And why me? So I guess she's thinks that if
she clobbers me in this parking lot, she'll have some bragging rights...to
something...whatever.
Really now, this skeleton of a girl and her two lap dogs are dressed to
socialize, so ARE THEY really looking to fight? Maybe they think I'll back down
and start crying or something. This is just too bizarre to figure out.
"Okay" I sigh and I can feel my heart starting to flutter because I'm shifting
into my aggressive mode, I hate making this transition, but once I make it I'm
pretty comfortable. "How do you want to do this?"
"Do what you idiot?" The black haired girl snaps.
"One at a time or are all of you jumping me at once?" I look her dead in the
eye and then over at her two friends. I notice that these social divas are
really dolled up tonight, par for the course you know, they live for
partying...clubbing...driving their BMW's and Mercedes around campus.
"You must be kidding you stupid bitch, you think you can take all three of us?"
The girl nervously chuckles. I don't even know this girl's name, I
also observe that the other two are looking more to their ringleader for
direction now because fighting is the last thing they expected tonight.
'I'm going to smack her with my left hand, no wait, my right hand, which will
setup a kick to her friend on my right...the one in the middle...not my far
right (got that folks?)' Is what I'm thinking. So I just kind of give the girl
this disarming smile and raise my eyebrows like 'Well let's see how you like
this?'. Some of you are thinking I'm going to punch her, but no, my bare
knuckles crashing into her bony face would not feel good and I don't feel like
damaging her nose, so I decide to throw caution to the wind and find out just
how good this girl's reaction's are. I jerk my right hand out of my pocket and
throw this wide arching swing, I telegraphed it fairly well but the idiot is
still standing there! So here it comes, me cupping my hand to nicely fit around
her high cheek bones, nice bone structure on this girl by the way, probably a
model wanna-be, well that career is going to get side tracked for a few days.
WHOOSH....and CRACK!
HOLY SHIT! On a scale of 1 to 10 that was a perfect 10...good form...and follow
thru on my part.
So this girl grunts, then squeal's in horror, her other two friends scream as
they watch her head then the rest of her body corkscrew in a clockwise fashion
before falling backwards. But I'm not done, my body was twisted around to the
left from delivering the slap, which sets me up for my next move....my left knee
comes up and I now twist my hips to the right, shooting my leg forward, like a
front kick, very basic, *POW* this catapults the middle girl backward, damn just
about chopped the girl in half.
The third girl to my right is taking several steps back now, her hands covering
her face as she trembles and going 'Oh my god...oh my god' (funny how people get
all religious in moments like this) as she looks back and forth at her two
fallen friends.
Wait, you people didn't actually think I was going to like, wait for one of
them to lash out first did you?
"Now, are we..!" I grunt as someone has just grabbed me from behind. Wait a
second, is this a setup? I don't remember a forth girl but wait this is no
girl grabbing me, but a guy and he's kind of strong. But not tall, cause he's
trying to crush me in a bear hug from behind. I guess all he wants to do is
restrain me as I am obviously dismantling these three girl's with little effort.
Still, don't try and restrain me like this. So, I got this guy behind me, or
some girl with hairy arms wrapped around my torso, trying to pull me backwards
and up. But since he is my height, maybe a tad shorter he can't get me up off
the ground maybe he's just not strong enough. Hey look at that, there's his
right foot and he's wearing sandals, so I lift my right leg and stomp down on
his right foot with all of my might, not once but two or three times. He just
found out that this blonde can squat allot of weight, hence strong legs, hence
lots of downward thrust, actually his poor foot just found out.
I wish you all could have been there to here him yelp in pain. It worked, I'll
be damned, his grip slackens a bit and I shoot my elbows out while dropping a
few inches, thus breaking his hold completely, basic stuff here folks. But all
those techniques I used were basic stuff I remember from my grappling class.
"Fucking bitch!" He yells.
So now I'm out of his clutches and still crouched down low as I hop back, as I
indicated, I was still taking classes with Nikki and had started to learn those
fancy Thai Kicks too. Amazing how you retain stuff because now his left thigh
was looking good, like a good target. So this guy is not expecting a girl to
throw a kick like that, and I explode with a twist of my body slamming my lower
shin into his thigh. Is he going down? Almost, but he's stumbling and hopping
around on his mangled foot. I then just loose it, the girls were out of
commission, so I just charge, throwing punches at his neck, ribs and then he
starts swinging wildly at me really putting up a fight, but I start throwing
some hard knees into his upper body as he leans over to cover up and charge me.
"CORBIN!" I hear someone yell and look over my shoulder...and it's Tubby, poor
guy is huffing and doing his best to move his fat ass over to the parking lot to
break things up. I get the guy off balance and push him down as I take several
steps away, actually looking myself over to see if my nice silk shirt was
ripped. What a mess it is, total confusion half the bar has poured out
into the parking lot now and you have my friends yelling at their friends who
are yelling back at my friends. I am just standing still now, fists balled up
ready to take on the next in line. No one knows what to do...that's what Campus
Police are for...uh-oh.
I look over and the guy I was just fighting is sitting on the ground nursing his
torso with one arm and inspecting his bleeding foot with the other.
Just great, now you have an ambulance local police and campus police. And
hey, how come nobody is asking me what happened! Take twenty some girls and guys
all talking at once, most everyone is pointing at me, three girls sobbing (Oh
they are playing it up a little I think) and I'm just leaning against someone's
car with my arms folded as I watch this officer walk over to me. I full expect
to get charged with disturbing the peace or some offense, instigating a riot or
something. Just my shitty luck.
Thank god for Tubby, he's a friend with the cops and his word is gold. He goes
on record as saying he watched those three girl's follow me out of the bar
(true!) and started to harass me (true again), I was just defending myself (now
he's fudging things a little). Well that started allot of wailing and screaming
FOUL! by the girls.
My silk shirt is drenched in sweat and I'm shaking a little bit as I am allowed
to leave, the crowd disperses and I amazingly get out of there before anybody
corners me with a barrage of questions.
Back at the apartment, Sharon chewed my ass out, god I really got an earful
from her. She's fairly protective of me and listening to her lecture me is one
thing I hate because she goes on...and on...and on!
"IRRESPONSIBLE!"
"TROUBLEMAKER!"
"COULD GET HURT!"
"MIGHT GET ARRESTED!"
"MAKE ME WORRY ALL THE TIME!"
See what I mean?
Hey, like said, I'm just trying make it to the end of the day while people come
Looking for me for some reason.
Well folks, I only feel like sharing one more thing from College and that will
be it....