College 18 By Corbin How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman. ********** Do I have any regrets? No! What the hell am I talking about? I really don't know. Just kidding, the answer is 'Competing at higher levels', be it fitness/bodybuilding/martial arts, and believe you me, I've faced an onslaught of pressure over the years to do all of the above. I believe it all comes down to priorities; I would rather do other things with my time then travel to various competitions and such. I think my mindset at the gym and martial arts school speaks for itself: LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE! Just because you are also a female/male fitness nut does not mean we are automatically buddies and members of some exclusive club. NO I don't need you to spot me! NO I don't need you babbling words of encouragement into my ear so I can do one more rep! NO I don't want to list what my workout routine is on a weekly basis! NO I don't want to tell you what vitamins I prefer! NO I don't want to enter a competition! NO I don't want you to sponsor me! NO I won't endorse your products! NOR pose in front of a camera while working out (Okay, that's a partial lie, I did one exercise spread/advertisement but you'll have to find it on your own and that's all the clues I'm going to give away) NOR will I wear a freaking itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny bikini to a photo shoot! 'Oh you don't like the full back bottoms we are providing? Here, wear a thong.' NO, YOU WEAR THE THONG MR. CAMERAMAN...then again, I'll pass, I can live without seeing him in one of those. (OH WOW...I LOVE THIS SONG!! 'Hanging by a moment' by Lifehouse, it just came on the radio...sorry...anyway as I was saying.) YES I am dating someone! NO I still will NOT consider going out with you, I JUST TOLD YOU I AM SERIOUSLY INVOVLED WITH SOMEONE! I am going to get a tee shirt printed up with the above so I don't have to Repeat myself. Actually, it's not a problem anymore, and that's the way I like It. Oh and then you have the male-ego maniacs who can't EVER take a hint and continue to talk to me even if I have headphones on, not even looking at them as they talk to me. I know allot of women who are determined to prove something, you know, kick ass and take names, all that junk. Well, more power to ya! Good luck! Me? I do things at my own pace and am content ruling my little corner of this universe :) ********** Sharon then stood up, "Well, I'm still worried about you." oh shit I'm not out of the woods yet, here it comes I thought. "What?" I remained sitting looking up curiously, unable to fathom what Sharon was getting ready to drop on me now. Oh I had many suspicions, but playing dumb was my first choice, that and I am good at it :) "Well for starters, look at you!" Sharon waved her right hand in my direction. "What?" I sneered, "What nit-picky thing now?" I really hated it when Sharon would go on a tangent about how I dressed. "Fucking look at you, you look like some hippie, granola, mess of a..." I just shook my head in despair, she knew how to hurt my feelings although I rationalized that it was for my own good. "Your hair is a mess, do you even use a comb anymore? And what's with the oversized tee shirts and everyday you wear the same damn crappy worn out sweat pants or cargo shorts, and those flip flops, holy shit, those nasty things are ready to walk away on their own!" Sharon continued her critique, "What is going on! Why are you letting your appearance go?" "Dale doesn't seem mind." I replied with a sneer, but it did cut me to have Sharon standing here saying these things, "There's nothing wrong with me." "Nothing wrong!" Sharon leaned back in faux shock, "Nothing wrong she says?" Sharon's eyes darted about the room as if looking for someone else to suddenly appear and agree with her assessment. "What are you talking about?" I shook my head while my heart beat faster, wondering if Sharon knew something that I was totally oblivious to. "You have no idea? You just walk around La-de-da-de-da..." Sharon performed a little semi circle prance, flipping her hair over her shoulders while looking up in the air in a somewhat clueless manner. "Get to your point already." I sighed, but knew that one more cutting remark would push me over the emotional edge. I didn't know how I was holding back the tears as it was, my whole body felt rigid, afraid that the slightest movement would cause my facade to break down and so I began clenching my fists tighter. "My point..." Sharon said, becoming more serious, "...If you would spend just a fraction of time away from the gym and focus on shopping, a trip to the beauty salon once in awhile it would be nice." I looked down at my arms and raised my left one out into the air, rotating to examine my forearm and bicep. I did a quick glance up at Sharon's toned body, but I see what she meant, there was no comparision to that of my defined, muscular physique. I smiled and lowered my arm, "I guess I'm just a natural beauty and don't need all that fluffing." I said and cracked a wiseass smile. Sharon's nice lips tensed and got thing as her face made a pained expression, she hates it when I pull the 'natural' beauty thing, and flicking at my blonde hair. "Ass." Sharon growled at me, "Don't rub it in, and by the way, I look great without makeup and my hair all done up, so don't think you the only hot stuff just walking around all natural." "Anything else?" I moan, shaking my head. "Yeah, I hear all these rumors, like stuff going on between you and Nikki." "Will you leave that alone already, one time you walk in and she's giving me a massage." I just rolled my eyes. "I'm not talking about that crap! I'm talking about a reliable source of mine that saw you two lip-locked in a parking lot one night, what the fuck is that all about? Good god Corbin, please tell me your not involved with her romantically." My heart was pounding frantically, but I fought to remain seated and calm, my jaw was clenching as my knees wanted to spastically bounce on the balls of my feet. Suddenly everything took on a whole other meaning to hear that people had seen me and Nikki being physical with one another, and suddenly my head was spinning. My privacy was being invaded, out in the open for people to secretly manipulate and gossip, I felt nauseous. "Sharon," I said, every muscle tensed to remain seated and calm, "Nikki and I are close friends, that's it." "I know you," Sharon said pointing at me, "and I see how you're acting AND don't you think Dale will freak out if he knew you were fooling around with Nikki like that?" Sharon continued. "Oh god." I moaned and leaned forward, placing my head into my palms. "...did you also know that Dale is on the verge of hearing that something is going on with you and Shelton?" Sharon said in a bit more quiet tone. "WHAT!" Now that did it, I went from sitting to standing in less then a second, my face and eyes burning into Sharon's. She took a step back, probably fearful I was about to pound her to dust. "Who is saying those lies!" My left hand grabbed her shoulder when I didn't get an immediate response. "Damn it! Talk to me!" "WATCH THE DRESS!" Sharon huffed and pushed on my forearms, "My god, do you know how much this costs?" Sharon quickly surveyed her straps and made a few adjustments. "You think everyone out there is just all wonderfully supportive of you two? Hell no, allot of guys and girls would LOVE IT if you two broke up." Sharon said as she brushed some lint off the front, but quickly looked back up, "Allot of guys would just love for you to be back in the single scene again." "The single scene?" I made an awful tasting expression, since when was I ever on the single scene, how nasty. "Well that's not going to happen!" I snapped, "Why are you just telling me about this now?" I waved my arms frantically, "And Shelton? Oh please...we're just friends! Hell, not even friends but acquaintances!" I made a pained, confused expression. "You two had lunch together last week?" Sharon raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "We were at the same damn Deli Sharon! At the same time! And we decided to sit down and chat. YES I know he likes me but we are just friends...oh my god, I mean...What in the world! This is so stupid!" I started to pace around the room as my hands roamed all over my head and stomach with nervous energy. "Now do you see Corbin?" Sharon folded her arms across her chest. "No I don't see Sharon, screw them...I don't care, let them talk all they want, it wont change anything." I sighed and shook my head in disbelief. "Oh you're so right it won't change a thing." Sharon, ever the perfectionist, adjusted the straps over her shoulders again as I surveyed the hint of cleavage that rose up from the front, low swooping curve of her outfit and she made another adjustment, "Gossip never infiltrates relationships and causes issues." "Anything else I need to know?" I turned around more resolute now, trying to put on my best game face, only this was no game, I felt like my private life was unraveling. "Oh, yeah, one more thing...this..." Sharon took two steps forward and her left hand swooped around, smacking my right shoulder, echoing off the mostly bare walls with a loud *POP*. "OW! Hey, what the hell?" I jerked my shoulder back, my left hand flew out and pushed Sharon's right shoulder causing my friend to retreat two steps. 'It really didn't hurt, just the shock of it.' "That's for fighting!" Sharon said with a disapproving shake of her head. "What?" My eyebrows pinched together, again in confusion. "And I told you watch the dress! I swear if you hurt one fiber on this dress I will kick your ass for sure," Sharon rolled her shoulders, "...and I'll do it in my high heels too, how'd you like that? Get your ass kicked by a chick in high heels?" Sharon raised her eyebrows with that taunting cocky look of hers. I had to fight back a full blown smile at Sharon's snappy comeback, "Fighting Sharon? What fighting? What are you..." I shook my head but acting was not my best ability and it showed. "On the soccer field genius, and you knocked some girl down in a bar, then threatening someone in the parking lot..." "Hey, they started it!" I spat right back defensively, "If you think I'm backing down, well never again Sharon." I jabbed my left finger at the small empty space, which separated us. "Oh yeah, well no more!" Sharon stepped in. "What do you mean no more?" I complained with a nervous smile "The real question is what are YOU trying to prove?" "Me? Nothing, I'm just standing up for myself." I shrugged. "Just tell me what you're thinking, I mean look at you, your ready to explode right now, you're unraveling, what's happening to you?" Damn, Sharon was right, I was an emotional mess, I felt tense all day long. No amount of exercise seemed to purge the confusing issues I was dealing with. Secretly I wanted to dump Dale, Sharon and Nikki and just focus on lifting weights and studying for exams and go back into my shell of existence.. But you know what, that also sounds boring to some degree. "I'm trying to help, I don't know what else to do!" Sharon replied as her own composure started to fall apart and her cheeks trembled and her eyes watered. "You call this helping?" I sighed with a roll of the eyes, "Coming in here and yelling at me?" "Look, don't take your frustrations out on other people Corbin, your going to get into trouble! If you're upset, come to me and take it out on me so we can talk about it, I want to help you!" She reached up and gently touched my shoulders. "You keep shutting me out, not telling me what's going on or bothering you." Sharon kept trying to give me a hug, only to have her efforts repeatedly rebuffed as I would turn away and keep pacing, "You're going to get into some real trouble if you start anymore fights...and I know you can take care of yourself, I'm talking about this getting out of control and you getting into some kind of Academic trouble because of it. You're too damn smart to continue on this track." "You want to know what's bothering me?" I sighed and finally let Sharon's hands slip around my shoulders, it was so silly, but I really had only one big anxiety on my mind right now. "Of course I want to know." Sharon whispered. "You want to know what's really upsetting me? And you can't laugh." I lowered my head and sighed into the comfort of my friend's warm neck. "Just tell me, whatever it is..." Sharon stroked the back of my head soothingly. "I don't have anything to wear to the party next weekend." "What?" Sharon stopped patting my back and shoulders. "I don't have a dress and I don't know well..." I rolled my eyes as I fought to admit the truth. "Hey I understand, don't say another word." Sharon beamed, she loved this, she loved shopping and this was her dream moment. She always wanted to peel away all the athletic clothes, Target, and GAP crap and do some real dressing up on me. "This is going to be so GREAT!" Sharon was almost bouncing on her toes as she hugged me again and again enthusiastically. But I suddenly began to have an anxiety attack as I nervously wondered what Sharon's wheeling-dealing mind might have in store for me. 'I should have asked Nikki.' I thought, but knew this little escapade would help bring Sharon and I closer. (Look, all you men have to do is find a clean pair of underwear, but not us. You have NO IDEA the pressures we are under. Besides, I think it was a combination of things that just swelled up inside of me. I mean, I felt really pathetic not having the confidence to pick something out on my own. But honestly, for the first time I wanted to look nice, radiantly beautiful and glamorous, no more dressing down, well, at least for this upcoming event.) "You're beautiful." Sharon said and held her breath, "Look at you, your tan, in shape, in fucking phenomenal shape..." Sharon leaned back starring down at my arms, chest and shoulders, "...you just radiate confidence, you just wait!" I nervously glanced away, "Thanks Sharon". Well isn't this dandy, things are all patched up with Sharon but now Nikki was getting pissed at me. You see, I have to admit, I had started to make excuses when it came to making time for Nik, things were getting just too confusing. I wouldn't come right out and say it, but I knew I had started to see something more develop between us, but I wasn't ready to commit myself in that direction. Yes I had some pretty deep feelings for her, but I still liked men even if you're a pain in the butt, in particular I still wanted to date Dale...I dunno...College_18