College 13
By Corbin
How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman.

**********

When one is working out at the gym, try to wear something comfortable, it's not 
a fashion show, yet I see guys/girls wearing expensive watches, rings and 
necklaces. What the freaking hell is that all about?!
 
And girls, let's make this clear, you are fooling NO ONE! 
80% of you woman at my gym are there to strut around in short-shorts 
and lounge around on equipment. I see you walk in, not a drop of sweat 
on your face and then leave the gym never having broken a sweat. And I am 
not a trainer for hire, do not come up to me asking for advice. I just want 
to get in, workout, then get the hell out! 
 
I will not name names (not that any of them are reading this), but I am 
embarrassed to stand next to friends that come in wearing red and pink 
shorts with the words "Soccer", "Sporty", "Volleyball", "Sexy" or god knows 
what printed across their ass. I do my best to mock them but they just 
don't get it.
 
And guys, guys, GUYS PLEASE!! What is with the whole goatee craze still 
going on? And wearing the baseball cap on backwards?
PUUHHHHHLLEEEEAAASSSEEE!!!!!  Wipe that dirt/peach-fuzz off your chin and take 
the cap off, so what if your going bald, learn to live with it.
 
Also, if you have time to read a book or watch the TV while working 
out you are NOT REALLY working out, just more people in the fantasy world of 
exercise.
  
**********


I was riding the metro over the weekend and a nice older man offered me 
his seat. I initially refused but he insisted, wow something so simple as 
this stranger offering me his seat and all because I am a woman. Isn't that 
silly? What does that say about society today? When we are surprised by 
good manners.
 
I am so full of contradictions, I realize this, but while I want to be 
Independent and strong (mentally, emotionally and physically) and I know, I 
give men a heap of grief. I still found something so sweet and endearing 
as being offered a seat on a subway.
 
So anyway, the whole reason we (Sharon, Nikki and I) were riding the 
train to begin with is that we were taking a nice little vacation up to D.C. 
over the weekend, to take in a few sites. Let me just say that if anyone 
plans on going up to the D.C. area STAY OFF OF ROUTE 66!  It is a 
freaking parking lot all day and night. That is why we ended up on the 
train. Even though Sharon initially refused "I am not riding a stinking 
subway." She protested all day, that is until we sat in traffic for almost an 
hour, that changed her fucking attitude really quick.
 
Also, if there is one thing I could change, it would be my hair. It's 
straight, when the weather is cold it's straight, when it's 
hot/humid/windy straight! Dirty, clean, sweaty it's STILL STRAIGHT!!! 
And it's about shoulder length right now, a little past the shoulders actually.

Darn, I would love to have just a little wave or curl to my hair.
 
**********
 
My eyes grew wide as I looked down at Steve's hand. Instinctively my left 
hand, which had been folded in my lap, flew out and back handed his right 
forearm thus knocking his hand from my knee with a loud *smack*.
 
"What the hell are you doing?" My eyebrows fused together in anger and 
disgust.
 
"I thought you said that you were unsure, if so, I just wanted to let you 
know that if things didn't work out with Dale, I thought it would be cool if 
you and I could hook up, that's all." He shrugged and tried to act 
nonchalant about the whole thing.
 
"Are you morally retarded?" I fired right back.
 
"What?" He looked at my befuddled.
 
"For you to hit on me, in your friend's apartment." I started to seethe.
 
"Hey chill out, it's not that big a deal." He leaned back in his chair, acting a 
little like the one who had been insulted.
 
"Sneaking around behind people's back and putting out dating requests in 
case things don't work out with your friend is pathetic." I snapped.
 
"You think so?" He leered at me with contempt over my flying insults and 
high-brow moral stance.
 
"If you think it's no big deal, then why not get it out in the open, let's just 
get everyone together when Dale gets home so we all can know what 
everyone's game plan is. That way you and Dale can synch up and you can 
outline your dating strategy if he and I split down the road." I was 
now leaning onto the table with my right elbow.
 
"Look! Your blowing this way out of proportion!" He interrupted while 
shaking his head and stood up.
 
"Where are you going?" I snapped and quickly came to my feet. I wasn't 
sure what just happened inside of my brain, but something flipped and I 
wasn't going to let this guy or anyone off so easy. Perhaps it was the 
building pressures that had been mounting for weeks; the stress of school, 
sports, and my friendship with Sharon. But, in any case, I wasn't about to 
let this guy off so easy, nor feel sorry my actions.
 
"What?" He looked at my strangely, his upper lip curling with humorous 
shock, "I'm going back to watch TV" he pointed casually to the living room.
 
"You want to watch TV? How are you going to do that with me in your way? 
You'll have to get thru me little boy, unless you apologize." I took a step 
back and tore off my light weight jacket. I was beyond caring at this point, 
I figured this guy could probably beat the crap out of me, but I was 
hedging my bets that he would back down first, 'besides I'm at least as tall 
as he is, maybe even an inch taller'.
 
"I'm not fighting you!" He said with a little shock and nervousness creeping 
into his voice. Steve was totally blown away by how I was reacting, I guess 
he never had any 'girl' threaten him like this...what made it even worse 
was how he appeared to be second guessing himself.
 
"Fine, then I'll be the one throwing all the punches." I shrugged and shook 
my arms out, my muscles flexing and tensing as I rolled first my left, then 
right shoulder. 
 
"Have you lost your mind! I'm...I'm...I'm not fighting you, you're in my 
place, now leave!" Steve pointed to the door. 
 
I stepped in and put my hands on my hips and smiled, "Make me leave." 
We stood like that in our stand off as he looked me up and down quickly, 
trying to asses how serious I was.
 
"And another thing, as a guest in 'Your Place', you are one hell of a rude 
host to be hitting on your guest!" Pointing a finger at myself, "And did I 
give you permission to touch me!" I took another step in closer, "DID I?" I 
loudly snapped.
 
"No." He said with a mumbling noise barely above that of a whisper, but his 
eyes conveyed true shock. I'm sure he had seen a few girls sloppily smack it out 
in a parking lot or bar while intoxicated, but I was looking him dead in the 
eye and seemed as collect and serious as anyone.
 
"But you did touch me, didn't you!" I snapped again.
 
"I'm sorry, look I was just trying to hit on you!" He shrugged a couple of 
times.
 
"You're sorry? That's your idea of hitting on a girl? No wonder your single!" 
I placed my hands back on my hips and cocked my head to the left in 
disgust.
 
"I'm sorry, OKAY! Jesus...what else do you want!" He sighed. I just kept 
staring at him and shook my head in disgust and reached over to pick up 
my jacket.
 
"I'm going to wait for Dale in his room." I growled and turned to walk down 
the hall.
 
"What are you going to tell him?" Steve called out.
 
"We'll see." I called out, not looking back.
 
"But I apologized!" He yelled, but I just slammed the door shut.
 
I threw my coat into a corner chair and flopped back onto the bed, I began 
to massage my temples with both hands, trying to ease the stress out of 
my body as I felt my heart pounding in my chest. As the seconds ticked by 
and I increased my breathing, I could literally feel my heart slow down to a 
more regular pace, it was an invigorating sensation, the feeling of my own 
heart beating in my chest. 'What the fuck' I thought, 'This is definitely not 
High School...its worse', my eyes blinked open and I stared at the ceiling.
 
(Should I have decked him? I guess not, sometimes I think I should have. 
I'm also more aggressive now then I used to be...so had that happened 
today I would have him in a choke hold on the floor babbling out his 
apology while struggling for air.)
 
I bolted upright when I heard the front door open and heard Dale's voice, 
quickly I stood and opened the bedroom door. Dale was standing there 
with a couple of bags of groceries in his hands talking to Steve, when he 
turned and saw my at the end of the hallway.
 
"Hey!" He called out, his face suddenly lighting up with a broad smile. 
"Sorry, I had to stop and pick some stuff up." He sighed and set the bag 
down on the counter.
 
"That's okay" I smiled. I caught a glimpse of Steve cringe when I leaned in 
and kissed Dale, he probably wanted to vomit with jealousy.
 
**********
 
"I'd like to talk a little bit about us...and maybe where you see things 
going?" Dale asked as we sat eating our Salads over dinner.
 
"Okay, fire away." I smiled and kept eating.
 
"Well, I was hoping you could fill in some of the blanks for me." He paused, 
looking over to where I was sitting on his right.
 
"Like, what kind of blanks?" I stopped eating and sat back in the chair, 
giving him my full attention. Actually, this was exactly what I wanted to 
talk about, but was glad Dale brought up the conversation.
 
"Well, like how you really feel about us...about 'me' I guess I should say, 
your just so quiet allot of the time, but not all of the time." He looked back 
down as if suddenly at a loss for words.
 
I reached over with my left hand and gripped his right wrist supportively. 
"I know I'm not the easiest person to get to know Dale, but I don't have 
allot of experience with dating, that's all, so I'm sorry if you feel like I'm 
shutting you out."
 
"Are you seeing anyone else?" He suddenly looked up.
 
"What?" I made a somewhat pained expression, "Where did that come 
from?" I pulled my hand away defensively and for the first time my heart 
dropped like an elevator plunging out of control. It was an awful, sickening 
feeling.
 
"I'm sorry, I apologize, but you see the last girl I dated." But he never got 
a chance to finish.
 
"You're old girlfriend? What does she have to do with anything?" I asked 
innocently and it was a sincere question on my part. My lack of dating 
experience left me totally clueless to the emotional baggage that prior 
relationships could weigh down over a person.
 
"Well nothing, it's just that by the time I found out she wanted to see other 
people, she was ALREADY seeing other people. She never told me in advance 
that she wanted to 'date around', that's all." Dale tried to explain, but he 
could tell I had a perplexed look on my face still.
 
"Okay, look..." I interrupted as he tried launching into another explanation, 
"...just forget whatever happened with your previous girlfriend okay, 
because I doubt I'll be able to fully understand what that has to do with 
me." I sighed, I was becoming a nervous wreck and not at all used to 
divulging my emotions or allowing herself to be vulnerable emotionally with 
anyone, other then Sharon and Nikki...or my parents.
 
Dale was trying to settle himself down and figure out the 'right thing' to 
say, but all he kept coming up with was a flood of questions, which just 
seemed to be annoying me.

"Okay, well, then I guess what I am trying to finally talk about is 
'commitment'." he said as I looked over at him, with a certain amount 
of cautiousness to my stare. "It just feels like maybe we might have the 
same feelings, but we've never actually come out and said it...you know?" 
he said as I nodded yes, but was still quiet.
 
Finally I sat back and took a deep breath, "I'm not seeing anyone else 
Dale, I don't want to see anyone else and honestly I just assumed that we 
were in a serious relationship, although I...I mean 'WE' have NEVER talked 
about it, that's true." Dale kind of slumped his shoulders forward a bit and 
seemed to relax as if some weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Just to 
hear me say those reassuring words was such a relief.
 
"Well..." I propped my elbows on the table and looked down at my salad, 
"...I guess I haven't been as open as I should." I looked up, my 
intense hazel eyes a little softer and more understanding, which was a 
huge relief to him. I watched his right hand reach over and touch my left 
elbow, instinctively I moved my arm and took his right hand into my left, 
"Tell me." I said softly.
 
"I just assumed..." Dale smiled a little, "...that with us going out on dates 
now that...well...that uhm, were both seeing each other exclusively." And 
I tightened my grip on his fingers reassuringly. 
 
"What is it?" He quickly asked.
 
"Just that, I'm glad we talked about this because I'll tell you right now, I 
will not date someone that wants to date other people." I leaned back 
suddenly and got a stern look on my face, which prompted Dale to lean 
forward a little more.
 
"Corbin, that is exactly the same thing I want, there is NO other girl that I 
think about or would want to be around then you." Dale smiled.
 
I felt more comfortable around Dale as along as I maintained some 
emotional and physical control in the relationship. As we headed back to his 
room I asked, "Do you mind if I shower here?"
 
"Please, help yourself."
 
I noticed him watching me lean over, rummaging thru my large gym bag 
full, like trying to sneak a peak at my 'personals'.
 
"I think I can manage from here." I stood straight up and turned around to 
face him, the small bathroom put us in tight proximity. Now he was looking 
down at my breasts, something I had always kept as off limits, I had kept 
almost everything 'off limits' to his growing frustration I would assume.
 
"You sure?" He asked with a smile, "Maybe you need me to wash your 
back?" He asked.
 
"I'll be fine." I smiled and pointed for him to go back into his bedroom.
 
"Okay, well, if you need anything, I'll be right out here." He said and walked 
back out to his room, laying back on his bed with a sigh.
 
I saw Dale hanging up the phone as I stepped out into the room, "Who was 
that?" I asked and Dale spun around sitting up, to see me now standing in 
the doorway. I was wearing a pair of blue jeans and a long sleeve v-cut, 
button down tan sweater. My hands vigorously running a towel over my 
wet hair.
 
"Craig." Dale said as he continued to sit up, watching for my reaction, but I 
gave none, "Do you know Craig, he's on the Football Team?".
 
"Nope, never met him...heard of him...but that's it." I turned around and 
walked back into the bathroom. 
 
"Hey Corbin, do you want to go out?"
 
"Where to?" I said, stepping out into the bedroom, running the brush thru 
my hair, then bending at the hip so it hung straight down to the floor. 
 
"Huh?" he said looking up again, he appeared a little distracted.
 
Shaking my head with amusement, I repeated myself, "I said, where to? 
Do you have someplace in mind?"
 
"Oh, yeah, that new bar that opened up, there having a big bash there 
tonight." he said.
 
"Oh yeah?" I casually flicked my wrist towards my bag, tossing the brush 
into it, "Is that what your buddy Craig was calling about?"
 
"Yep, that was why he called."
 
"Well," I thought for a minute, I looked over at my bag and contemplated 
what to do.
 
"If your not interested..." He tried to down play it.
 
"No...it's not that, I like to get to bed early that's all..." I seemed to be 
talking more to myself then to him at this point.
 
"We can get back early enough for that." He quickly interjected.
 
"Uhm, well..." I wasn't keen on relying on anyone to get around and looked 
over at him seriously, "...then promise me that we're leaving there by no 
later then ten o'clock! Because if you think you want to stay later, we will 
just drive separate so I can head back to the dorm to get some shut eye." 
I looked him dead in the eye and Dale seemed to quickly decide he would 
rather have me spend the night here and give up a late night of partying.
 
"Promise!" He raised his right hand, "We will leave no later then ten 
o'clock!" and smiled. He stood up as he watched me turn around and pull 
my bag out of the bathroom and toss it into the corner.
 
"Okay, let's roll." I said and stuffed my ID and Cash into my pant's pocket.
 
"By the way, you look gorgeous." he gushed.
 
"Awww, thanks" I smiled as we walked down to the car, "You don't look 
half bad yourself." I chuckled. I had to admit that dating Dale that month was 
one of the most confidence building experiences I could recall.
 

I am a legend in my own mind, how disgusting. I just went back and re-read some 
of this stuff and I sound so 'full of myself/shit/crap/whatever'. I think I am 
coming off like a big dork more then someone fairly conservative and quiet, 
which I really am.
 
In addition, I still manage to miss spelling and grammar mistakes, what the hell 
is up with that?
 
Okay get ready, I have something to vent on, I bet no one saw this coming! ;)
 
Anyways, you know you are a gym-rat whenever you go on vacation and the 
first thing you do is scope out the resort/hotel for a workout facility. Well, 
that is what I do. In fact, I did that this past weekend so every spare chance I 
got I would hustle down to the gym and workout. I like working out at these gyms 
because they seem to be rarely used by the Resort guests, giving me lots of 
privacy. 

So on with my rant, there I was, periodically glancing up at the TV mounted 
In the corner room when I catch a glimpse of a Viagra Commercial. Has anyone 
caught this thing? Where a guy comes running out of his house jumping up and 
down dancing on his porch, he appears so overcome with joy that he then begins 
to run down the street, where he then proceeds to encounter all of his other 
dorky-dumbass friends running down the street jumping for joy. Now, the volume 
was turned down on the TV (thank god). So while I was staring at this fiasco of 
a commercial I am just assuming that they are so overwhelmed with happiness 
because the drug helps their sex life. I also noticed that all of the men in the 
commercial were dumpy/overweight/pathetic looking. I actually had a smile on my 
face while watching that, thanking god I am not a man, because if I was I would 
be totally insulted. Basically (look at any sitcom/beer/Viagra commercial) and 
it portrays you men as a fat/stupid/impotent/balding/incompetent gender, totally 
to be outdone by smarter more beautiful women. (Maybe you like that?)
 
Me? Well I am disheartened that so many men appear unaffected by this Media 
Characterization that they are insulting you, slapping you in the face as being 
stupid/fat/lazy/worthless, where only your TV counterparts are able to 
marry/date beautiful women. For god's sake WAKE UP!
 
What a shame I just wasted all that space above complaining about TV 
Commercials when I really wanted to talk about my dating habits-skills, or lack 
thereof :) College was my real indoctrination into that world of barhopping, 
socializing, flirting (I was terrible at flirting). Anyway, this will have to 
wait till next time as I'm tired of this topic.
 
**********
 
Although Dale and I were both warmly greeted by friends at the bar, I was about 
to have a nervous breakdown. I was not comfortable being at the center of social 
attention, and found a shift taking place from circulating with single friends 
to people that were dating and suddenly making small talk with me, another thing 
I seemed ill prepared to do. For the longest time, I felt like I was inadequate 
for not being able to exchange in what I deemed 'meaningless conversation'?
'Or maybe I'm just too judgmental?' I had started to wonder.
 
A feeling of relief swept over me when I saw Nikki with several of girls from 
the Soccer Team. I simply smiled allot and turned down repeated requests to chug 
beer or do shots as I made my way to the bar and asked to have a diet Coke. The 
bartender smiled, "You driving?" He asked indicting it was on the house if I was 
a designated driver.

"No, I just don't like drinking alcohol very often" I sighed.
 
"Well here, just ask me and you can have all the Diet Coke's on the house, it's 
not often we get someone that shows a little restraint." He shifted his eyes up 
and down the expansive bar, packed with students sucking down drink after drink.
 
"Thanks!" I said above the roar of the crowd and turned around, Dale was 
standing off to my left. Suddenly I felt something tug at my Coke glass and 
whipped my head to the right, a fairly attractive black guy was standing there. 
I thought I recognized him from the football roster. He and several other people 
were doing shots at the bar, 'But why is he tugging at my glass?' I wondered.
 
"No, no, we can't have this, here do a shot!" He leaned in close as his left 
hand came up holding what appeared to be a shot of tequila. I gripped my glass 
tighter and knotted my eyebrows up, "If I wanted to do a shot, I would have 
gotten one." and tugged on my glass, but he refused to let go and several other 
guys and girls began trying to egg me on to do one.
 
"No." I said while he continued a tug of war with me on my glass.
 
"Come on, just one! Just try one! Have you ever tried one before?" He smiled 
trying to pressure me into taking a shot. But I was fed up and looked over at 
Dale who was distracted with a few of his friends across the bar.
 
"Fine, you keep it." and I let go of my glass throwing my hands up in the air 
and pushed off to my left, away from the guy and his gang of shot takers. "Hey! 
Hey! Wait!" I could hear the guy calling after me, but I had made my escape 
slipping thru several gaps in the crowd. But I didn't make it far, a couple of 
the girls from my Soccer team snagged me as I had unintentionally made my way to 
a section of the establishment where a local radio station was doing a live 
promotional show.
 
"They're collecting bras from all the girls, it's for charity, so give up your 
bra and sign it, they'll be having an auction later." Dee leaned in close.
 
I looked at her as if the girl had just grown a third eye, "What? What did you 
just ask me?"
 
"Don't give me that look Corbin! Come on it's for a good cause!" Dee said, 

"Yeah!" Piped up Laurie to my right.
 
"Who is that?" I looked over at the live broadcast booth.
 
"That morning show, 'Elliot in the Morning'" Dee chimed in.
 
I rolled my eyes and mumbled, "I can't stand that idiot and I'm damn sure not 
giving anyone my bra." I looked to my left and right as I spoke, "There are much 
better and more lucrative ways to collect for charity, without degrading 
yourself for everyone's amusement!" I chastised.
 
"Come on Corbin, don't be that way!" Dee continued to prod.
 
"No, leave it alone, if she doesn't want to, that's cool." Laurie decided not to 
push it. 
 
"Thanks." I gave a sincere smile, "I'm going to try and get another Coke, 
hopefully it won't be snatched from out of my hands this time." and I turned 
around to look for Dale, but didn't make it more then three steps when things 
went from annoying to flat out aggravating.
 
"Where the fuck are you going?" Mora's upper lip curled with contempt as another 
couple girls from the soccer team flanked the Latin girl's left and right, one 
of them being Crissy. Amongst the crowd, noise and dimly lit bar it was hard to 
know just how inebriated Mora was and if she was really looking for trouble or 
to just trying to push my buttons some more. Mora seemed to have it in for me, 
in particular, ever since I narrowly escaped the hazing attempt.
 
"Hello Mora, Crissy, Bev." my eyes engaged each one as I spoke their names 
respectively and with a smile, but that seemed to only annoy them even more.
 
"What the fuck is so funny?" Bev shot back at me.

I stopped smiling, "Nothing, just being friendly." I shrugged, and I was.

"Loose track of Dale already?" Mora continued with her taunts, something I was 
used to. I figured that Mora just flat out did not like me, 'For whatever 
reason' I assumed, I was unable to put the puzzle together, but sometimes people 
just don't like other people. 'Maybe a vibe or whatever' I sighed internally. 
 
"Nope." I smiled and stepped around the three girls, but didn't get far.
 
"Whoaa, whoa, whoa!" Mora said, sticking her right hand out to block me from 
leaving, "You too good to talk with us?" Mora's eyebrows knotted up with 
irritation. In fact, Mora did have a problem with me, and the list was long 
perhaps not justifiable, but still I seemed to embody everything Mora was 
secretly jealous of; Blonde, tall, muscular, beautiful, smart, athletic, and a 
decent boyfriend. All the things Mora didn't have. Now let's be clear right now, 
Mora was an attractive girl, but in her eyes she never measured up and her 
constant on the prowl hostility gave her a very bad reputation, which in turn 
caused guys not to be that interested in her. She was just too much of a 
liability to date. 
"What Mora?" I sighed, my tone getting more irritated now as I stopped about an 
inch short of running into Mora's arm that now blocked my way.
 
"You better learn how to start sucking up to us a little better and loose the 
attitude if you know what's good for you!" Mora's look became stern. She was in 
fact itching for a fight with me and I felt my heart pound in my chest while 
Crissy watched me intently; Crissy I heard had gone thru the same hazing ritual 
when I was new to the team and hated the thought that I might somehow elude my 
turn.
 
"Now I want you to go and get us three Miller Lights, now!" Mora nodded her head 
towards to the bar and slowly lowered her arm. I stood dumbfounded, 'Is she 
ordering me around now?', I didn't know what to think it seemed so irrational to 
be treated this way, so demeaning, but I guess that's the whole point. Forced to 
do shitty chores around the locker room and now off to fetch drinks for senior 
girls that demand it on the team. 'Fuck this sucks' but I loved soccer too much 
and wanted to try and figure out some way to get into the good graces of the 
team. I figured they all had to endure some right-of-passage bullshit.
 
I glared at Mora for a second but slowly started walking towards the bar, my 
mood suddenly somber.

"Another soda?" The guy quickly appeared from behind the bar.
 
"Three Miller Light's." I rolled my eyes. He looked at me oddly for a minute and 
then I hooked my right thumb over my shoulder to the three girls watching me 
from a few feet away. He nodded and turned around to fetch the beers while I 
fished for some cash out of my pockets.
 
"Thanks" I huffed and turned to head over to where the girls waited, all smiling 
and talking amongst themselves.
 
"That's more like it." Mora said with a big grin of satisfaction.
 
"Yeah." Crissy sneered snatching her beer from my hands.
 
"You straighten up, do what he fuck you're told and we'll get along fine. You 
understand?" Mora glared, obviously waiting for an answer. 
 
"Yeah" I mumbled, stuffing my hands into my pockets while my jaw clenched.
 
"What?" Crissy leaned in, cocking her head as if hard of hearing, causing Mora 
and Bev to laugh with approval.
 
"Yes." I snapped louder while trying to restrain her anger. What I really wanted 
to do was plant my fist into Mora's mouth and then smack around the other two, 
but some amount of self doubt crept into my mind. While Mora and the other girls 
were smaller then me, all between 5' 4" and 5' 7", with Mora coming in around 5' 
4". Mora carried around allot of spunk and never backed down from anyone, the 
girl seemed to know how to handle herself and was always looking for a scrap 
with someone. It made me wonder if the small Latin girl might just put me 
down for the count if we got to fighting.
 
"Okay!" Mora smiled wickedly, "Now you may go." and waved her hand toward 
the crowd. I simply kept her jaw clenched and turned to walk away.
 
"Pardon me, excuse me, pardon me." I pushed and shoved her way thru, fuming 
and sweating with anguish over what I just went thru. It seemed like every step 
I was also getting propositioned by some guy, but my mind was so distracted with 
Mora's taunts that I barely acknowledged anyone's comments. I was about to flag 
down the bartender again, this time I *needed* a drink when that black guy was 
suddenly at my left elbow, trying to get my attention.

"Hey, I'm sorry about earlier, here's your drink back." He said, "By the way, my 
name is Shelton!" He set my glass on the bar and extended his left hand. I could 
tell he was very taken with me, the fact I was white turned him on immediately 
it seemed. I say that prior sentence more so in retrospect, when Shelton told me 
his name, I recalled exactly who he was, he was a 'player' and liked women 
allot, he especially liked white girls, make that white, blonde girls.
 
"I'm..." I was about to speak, when he finished my sentence.

"Corbin, yeah I know!" He smiled. 

I looked at him with total confusion and shook me head, "How come 
everyone seems to know my name." I mumbled to myself and was sure he didn't hear 
it, my eyes studying my drink now placed in front of me.
 
"Sorry about that." He smiled again and leaned in a bit more then someone 
should. I leaned away and then tilted my head down, staring at the fizzing 
carbonation still coming to the top of the glass. I had still not lost my common 
sense, or maybe I was just overly cautious because now I'm wondering if it was 
spiked. I doubted it because I had Dale and other friend's around who would be 
looking out for me. But the drink did leave my sight.
 
"Thanks, but I think I'll have a beer now." I said. 
 
"Let me." Shelton quickly stepped up and ordered a Corona from the bartender.
 
"No, no, really, please don't, I appreciate the offer but I'm with Dale." I 
said, I didn't want to lead any guy on.
 
"That's okay, I know about you and Dale, I still want to buy you a drink." 
Shelton smiled and I felt that old stern attitude of mine begin to rise, 
wondering if Shelton was another guy who saw every attractive girl as an open 
target, regardless if they had a boyfriend or not. But something in me wasn't so 
determined to 'go off', in fact I was feeling a little burned-out and decided to 
relent, allowing Shelton to go ahead and buy me the drink. 'No harm in it I 
guess' I sighed privately. 
 
"Thanks." I even allowed a slight smile to escape from the corner of my mouth.
 
"My god, she smiles!" He laughs and I had to admit his reaction was pretty funny 
as I smiled more and took a much welcome sip on the beer. 
 
"There, that wasn't so bad." Shelton kept up his own infectious smile and his 
left hand gripped my right bicep. I decided to take the touch and his flirting 
as nothing more then just being friendly, I also had to admit that it felt nice 
not getting so defensive for once and just enjoyed the attention. Yet I still 
leaned away from him whenever he would get too close for comfort. Glancing 
around I caught sight of Dale, surrounded by a group of friends looking as if he 
was having a good time, I simply smiled and sipped on my drink when I saw him 
crane his neck to look around the room. His eyes grew wide when he saw my face 
and waved me over, I just smiled and waved back wanting to hang back for a 
little while and try to relax some more before joining him, I didn't want Dale 
detecting any of my stress from the run in with Mora. 
 
"You've got some serious definition there." Shelton admiringly approved as he 
gave my bicep another gentle squeeze.
 
"Oh, thanks." I shrugged and blushed at the compliment. I was fading in and out 
of the conversation with Shelton and knew he was hitting on me big time. Yes, I 
was offended, but my emotional 'skin' was getting thicker to all of it. Finally, 
I began to understand why my friends played the flirting game, it was just 
easier then constantly deflecting come-on's. Some men would go so far as to get 
hostile when abruptly rejected, which I could give a shit at times, but tonight 
I was drained and would rather politely deflect Shelton's advances with some 
innocent flirting then to tell him to simply 'buzz off'. I had started to draw 
lines by leaning away from him as he would lean in, something he seemed to pick 
up on, but he had not totally removed his hand from my arm, I could detect his 
touch, although it was very light at best. The other thing to mention is that 
Shelton had that well developed ability to initiate conversation with anyone he 
chose, he could be lighthearted and funny, without coming off as arrogant. He 
could also laugh at himself, part of that was a natural component of his 
personality while other parts were skills he developed to help pick-up girls. In 
the end, he knew how to play everything off as just innocent flirting, which all 
means that you have to be very well in tune with what the other persons body 
language is conveying.

I glanced around and found Nikki, she was chatting with a group of guys and she 
looked over at me, a big smile came over her mouth and she gave me a wink. Oh 
course I winked back and reluctantly turned back to Shelton, "Shelton" I sighed 
and looked up at his attentive dark eyes.
 
"If you want to stand here and have a pleasant conversation, we can do that. But 
that's all." My expression became just a tad bit tense, hoping to drive home the 
point.
 
"I totally respect that, but please you're totally not my type." Shelton smirked 
and took a sip.

I just nodded and smiled at his little word games, "I understand, you're just 
bored with everyone else in the bar and would rather stand here with me to just 
kill time, right?"
  
"Maybe, or maybe the alcohol is really getting to my brain, impairs ones 
Judgment you know." He said leaning in close again, his voice low, forcing me to 
lean in and hear him. Another nice trick and I have to admit, the little 
bantering going on was kind of amusing.

"Hello Stranger." Came the sweet sounding voice to my left and it jarred me to 
find that I almost didn't recognize it. I then felt my lips uncontrollably curl 
into a smile, but a smile that bespoke of something maybe just a little sad at 
the sudden sight of my friend Sharon.
 
"Hello yourself." I gushed and was momentarily dazzled by Sharon's beauty, which 
had the same effect on Shelton who was astounded at having these two gorgeous 
women in front of him, one brunette the other blonde.
 
"Hey girl." Sharon said and leaned in, giving me a light hug. I patted Sharon on 
the back in return.
 
"Pardon us, but I have to speak with my friend in private." Sharon leaned around 
my shoulder and spoke at Shelton.

"I'm pissed at you!" Sharon huffed as I was pulled thru the crowd by the arm.
 
"What? Why?" I smiled at how it was starting to sound like the 'old' Sharon.
 
"And why were you flirting with Shelton? I don't' believe you!" Sharon scolded.
 
"I wasn't flirting!" I pinched my eyebrows together defensively.
 
"Oh yes you were! You let him buy you a drink and I saw you blushing at some 
comments he was making, and he's black!" Sharon leaned in and whispered.
 
"What?" I stammered at what Sharon was implying. "Sharon, I know he's 
Black." 'What the fuck?' I thought privately, 'Does Sharon have something 
against black people now?'
 
"You sly devil, when were you planning on telling me about Dale! Oh my god, he 
is like so hot!" Sharon fussed as we found a corner of the bar to talk. I simply 
shrugged and sipped on my drink, "It's been awhile since we last talked." I 
raised an eyebrow of concern.
 
"I know, I know, at least a couple of weeks, I'm sorry." Sharon sighed.
 
"A month." I snapped, but quickly restrained my irritation and looked away.
 
"What?" Sharon leaned in.
 
"It's been a month since we've talked or seen one another." I glanced around the 
room, not wanting to get into an argument over the whole thing, or maybe I 
wanted to. Sharon leaned back stood stone faced for a second and nervously 
looked away.
 
"I'm sorry" Sharon said. I acknowledged her apology, but just barely.
 
"I'm really glad you and Dale are doing well." Sharon leaned in close to speak.
 
"Thanks, things seem to going pretty well so far." I nodded, but I really was 
starting to tune Sharon out, I had started to accept the way things were, 
'Sharon has her life now, doing her own thing, I guess that's fine.' I thought.
 
Sharon sighed and rolled her eyes, as for me I hadn't expected to find her at 
this party and definitely didn't expect to be confronted with so many emotions. 
"I see you're here with all your Soccer buddies." Sharon pointed off into the 
crowd.
 
"Oh, yeah, a few are pretty cool a few others are, well... " I didn't finish, 
not wanting to drop my problems at Sharon's feet, I wanted to show I could stand 
on my own.
 
"I'm really glad your finding your niche here at school, I worry about you, you 
know?" Sharon smiled affectionately and touched my left arm.
 
"Hey Sharon," I sighed and I know a real look of pain came over my face, but I 
leaned over and gave her a warm, tight embrace, "Call me okay?" I whispered into 
her ear and pulled away. Sharon reached out and gripped my hand, and I fought to 
keep my lower lip from trembling as we both allowed our pride to once more get 
in the way. 

"I'll call you!" Sharon called out as I turned away and pushed thru the crowd 
slipping from sight.
 
With a faint tremble of anxiousness, I ran my fingers thru my hair, and for a 
moment I felt lost and a little uneasy with who I was and how things had turned 
out. I stole a glance in the direction I had departed but could no longer see 
her, no matter now, when I turned around I was moving closer to Nik and she saw 
me coming. She made a quiet exit from the guys she was talking with and my right 
arm went up as her left arm reached for hug as well, we embraced and tried to 
find an isolated part of the bar.

"Oh Nik, I've missed you." I sighed, all my worries seemed to float away when I 
was with her.

"I've missed you as well." Nikki sighed I could tell she was pretty buzzed from 
the glassy look in her eyes, I stayed secluded with Nik as long as I dare, 
besides Dale was having a blast and not at all paying attention to the time, but 
I was. He looked over to his left as he brought the beer up to his lips, I stood 
with my left wrist held up to signal my watch. He sighed and glanced down, 
'10:01pm' and he smiled at me although he was a bit frustrated at having to 
leave I'm sure.

I got a few unkind glares from his football buddies and some girls as if I was 
utilizing some form of control over Dale, maybe under some kind of spell and I 
was being too controlling by indicting I wanted to leave early.

********** 
 
"Thanks." I sighed and felt him wrap his arm around me and pull me in close, but 
my mind still was thinking about Sharon and looking over my shoulder one more 
time, but never saw my friend as we stepped thru the exit. The drive back to his 
place was quiet, the silence lasted until we got to the apartment, Steve still 
out and Dale decided to bring something up that obviously had been on his mind 
lately. He laid back on top of his unmade bed, having stripped down to his 
boxers and a t-shirt.

"Still not comfortable changing in front of me?" he asked with a smile.
 
I stopped and rested my left knee on the mattress at the foot of the bed while 
clasping my hands behind my, "Look Dale, if this is making you uncomfortable 
maybe it was wrong of me to assume it was okay to sleep over as much as I do?" I 
looked down.
 
"No not at all!" He sat up, "I thought you stayed over here because you liked 
spending time with me." He said a little defensively.
 
"I do." I looked up.
 
"But it's just hard having you so close, and having to restrain myself 
when I have someone like you, who's so gorgeous laying next to me." He waved 
his left hand to my side of the bed, "And" Dale sighed laying back down.
 
"What tell me." I asked and leaned forward, until I had to put my hands out in 
front of me as my weight carried me forward the rest of the way. I pushed my 
elbows up under my chest until I was comfortably laying on my stomach with my 
legs bent so my feet pointed to the ceiling. Dale rolled over to his left, 
propping his head up with his left palm.
 
"It's like, you keep me at arms length emotionally and physically, and that's 
hard to take because I've really fallen for you I, I mean it's like I spend time 
thinking about our future together and," 
 
Dale hesitated for a second which gave me a chance to jump in, "But Dale, we've 
only been dating a little over a month now!" I sighed and rummaged my fingers 
thru my loose hair.
 
"Well okay, but there are allot people asking questions about what's going on, 
and I get tired of being ribbed by friends over their misconception of what's 
going on." He said in frustration.
 
"Just ignore them!" I sighed.
 
"How? It's not that easy." Dale sat up trying to get closer to where I was 
stretched out on the end of the bed, but that closeness eluded him as I soon 
sprang up to a standing position.
 
"You want things easy?"
 
"Wait, wait Corbin!" Dale pleaded.
 
"Then if I just stay at my own place." I frantically spouted.
 
"No, wait." Dale's voice got a little urgent.
 
"From now on, that will give them less to gossip about and less stress for you, 
how about that?" I took a couple of steps towards my bag, looking at his 
reaction.
 



  
College_13