My Story 44 By Corbin How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman. ********** I know many of you suffer from Story ADD and have to have your quick-action-fix, so if that's your thing, skip this. Wasn't that nice of me to include the above disclaimer? ********** How do I get myself into these situations? About a month ago I decided to tag along with a friend of mine from work, she has a five year old playing soccer with the YMCA and it was going to be the first day of the fall Season. Holy cow, this kid never stops talking, do all five year olds yap this much? Blah, blah, blah...It was like one, long run-on sentence during the fifteen-minute ride over to the elementary school field. So anyway, it was a Saturday morning and I thought it would be cool to check this out. Not at all prepared for what I was about to get myself into. Anyway, we arrive to an ocean of mini-vans, SUV's and hundreds of kids...parents...grand parents. Shit, Soccer is huge...I mean I knew it was a big deal and parents enrolled they're kids in it all the time, but this was CRAZY!!! And remember, I used to play it! So we arrive on field number 8, at this point I'm getting a real kick out of watching all the activity. Out of all the teams there, my friend Anne's Team had no coach assigned, some kind of screw up (Figures!). So now there are a bunch of confused parents looking around and awkwardly trying to figure out what to do. The 'Y' has an information booth setup on the field that gives them their uniforms and an information packet, but still no coach. (At this point I wish I had a crystal ball or just wasn't so clueless all the time.) "Anyone have any soccer experience?" One of the mom's pipes up. "Don't you play?" My friend Anne looks over at me. Now my mouth is opening, but nothing is coming out, I'm paralyzed as my brain has frozen. I am now the center of everyone's focus and slowly realize where this is heading. SHIT! DAMN! FUCK! What was I going to say? What could I say? I've got 8 little kids and all these parents looking at me now. I know what is about to happen and I take a deep breath before speaking; "In College..." I started. "You even had a scholarship, right?" Anne jumps in. (Thanks Anne! Not exactly but close.) "Well..." I'm stuttering and looking around and I guess I'm screwed now. "...I'll Coach them, if you want?" I shrug, of course no one else offered. Just great so now I've got to switch into game mode, but wait...these are mostly inexperienced little kids and I can't just start barking orders at them, I have to make it fun. Bunch of little monkeys, bouncing balls off each other's heads, and one little girl is wondering off the field to pick flowers and they are not paying attention! And it's like trying to corral wild Indians. What a mess! Not only that, but I have to type up a 'Phone Tree' so all the parents can keep up with everyone else as well as organize bringing snacks for the kids after practice. And no one told me that periodically, without warning, these little snot nose kids will have a breakdown, crying fit because he/she suddenly decides he/she doesn't want to play anymore. I'm looking at the parents sitting off on the sideline wanting to yell 'Come get your stinking kid!'. Gheesh, so for the next two months (or longer if rain delays happen), every Saturday morning I have to Coach soccer for a bunch of kids. It was a reaffirming decision in one aspect, I will never...EVER...have kids. (Little chance of that happening anyway, I don't foresee Nikki ever being able to impregnate me. Or I her, thank god.) I love the little darlings for about an hour every Saturday morning, but after that, keep them away from me. Jumping all over me and getting whacked upside the head by a stray ball...lord have mercy...is this payback for something I've done? I must be doing something right, all the parents praise my coaching. They're not so bad and sometimes I'm laughing pretty hard at their antics. BUT STILL NO KIDS FOR ME!!! Fortunately, Nikki took pity on me and comes to help assist with the Coaching. We're an awesome team, that's true in all aspects of our relationship. The Fall Season doesn't necessarily mean cooler weather around here. By 10:30am the humidity if forcing me to peel off my track suite, getting down to my shorts and tee shirt. So guess what happened? Well, the first couple of weekends barely any of the Dads showed up, but now they ALL show up. My network of spies informed me that word spread quickly "The coach (that's me) is hot". Very creepy to have all the Dad's and older brothers showing up to watch me instead of their kids. But you have to block that stuff out, and you have to be careful in how you respond to compliments, you see every once in awhile a father will slip up and be overly complimentary, right in front of his wife! "Wow, you've got great legs...arms...whatever..." Which gets an annoying glare from his wife (directed at him, not me.) But I just humbly brush the compliment aside, deflecting the attention because I get along with all the Soccer moms great, women can get bitchy/catty if they feel some "other" woman is the object of their husband's attention/lust. ********** I have figured out why I have fits of anger and the desire to beat things (people) up. It's because my little neat, orderly world gets all messed up. Like when Sharon decided to throw some sexual vibe my way, that messed up my perception of her as my trusty always-hetero friend. Or when Nikki blindsided me with wanting to take a small break in our dating. Or when Jenna initially turned out to be a real pain in my neck. Just a few examples and a theory it have. ********** Now comes time for me to share the "Beach Trip", this took place during the summer of 2005. It began, as all things with Sharon begin, by a grand entrance. She practically came busting thru the front door shouting, "I'VE GOT AWESOME NEWS!!!!" panting some, obviously having been running to bring me this news. I looked up from where I sat on my bed and my eyes grew wide as Sharon advanced at a rapid pace, showing no signs of slowing until she finally leapt into the air, tackling me. I groaned as Sharon landed on top of me, playfully wrestling and sitting on top of my stomach. "OH YES!!!...YES! YES! YES!" Sharon pumped her fist into the air. I simply propped myself up onto my elbows, "Are you going to let me in on your excitement?" "You know my parents just bought that Beach House right?" Sharon spouted. "Yeah...yeah" I said as I now laid back. (If I never had to hear about that stupid beach house again...god I get tired of Sharon's bragging sometimes.) "Well, in two months it's ours for a whole week, they will be away and we can have it the whole week! Maybe we could even invite some friends. Now that I think about it, this could be one hell of a party week! HOT DAMN!" "Are you done?" I sigh and flop back down, waiting for Sharon to get off me. "Am I done? Why you ungrateful little blonde bimbo!" Sharon gasps and sits up straight, she is still straddling my hips and then places her own hands on her waist while looking down at me. I do in-fact smirk at her *bimbo* comment. "Sharon, the house does sound very nice." I smile, just a little bit. "Very nice? It's more then nice! What the hell is wrong now? I bet you've been pouting around in your room all day over Nikki! Gheesh I wish you two would just work things out!" Sharon sighs and leans forward, bracing her hands on either side of my head. "Nik and I are doing fine! Just takes some time." I mumble. "I know what you need." Sharon gives me this evil grin and shakes her head, causing more of her brunette hair to fall down around my face. "No Sharon, no more sex lectures." I snap. "You and Dale should have done it." Sharon purrs with that seductive smile and slowly starts to grind her crotch against my waste, then moves her hips down over my crotch. Just an FYI, I am not *hot* for Sharon, like I am for Nikki, but Sharon has a incredible body, super athletic, always tan and she is beautiful. "Stop! Stop!" I blush and push my hands against her waist to stop her from gyrating her hips anymore. "Ohhhh I bet you would like to be on-top, 'Oh Dale you feel so good inside of me.'" Sharon mocks and slowly keeps grinding her crotch into mine. "STOP!" I say, covering my face with my hands, totally embarrassed now, I can feel the blood rushing to my head. "Okay, okay" Sharon sighs and slowly climbs off me, which was a huge relief, I was fearing another come-on, but I was shocked by what she said next; "I assume you are inviting Nikki? I think you should, it would be good for you two." I sat up and then froze, in awe of her kind gesture and concern, Sharon had such a sincere serious look on her face and before I could say 'Thank you' I felt my face tighten, my cheeks become warm and my eyes welled up with tears. "Oh baby" Sharon got emotional as well and sat down, pulling me onto her shoulder, I cried just a little bit because I was tired of holding everything back. "It's going to be okay." Sharon whispered. "I hope so." I cried. After dinner that evening, we simply laid around the house and watched TV. Sharon stretched out on the sofa with me laying along side her, although I had scooted several inches down so my head was resting in-between her bosom, neither of us were really tuned into what was on the TV. And NO, we were not fooling around, like I've said, Sharon is the touchy, feely one, and practically begs to cuddle like this sometimes. Sharon would lazily stroke my hair and arms, all very innocent. ********** I am sick and tired of seeing those stupid yellow 'livestrong' bracelets everywhere I go. No I won't wear one and yes I know what it stands for. Everywhere I go I see someone wearing some bracelet of some type to represent some form of unity and struggle against disease/poverty/cancer/take-your-pick. The original intention of those bracelets has become diluted, I am starting to not even notice them anymore, its just one more trinket hanging on someone's body. I see some people wearing those livestrong bracelets as if they are mocking the intended purpose. Prime example, I pull up to a stop light the other day and this guy has his left hand hanging out the driver's side window, and right there on his wrist is that damn yellow bracelet. But guess what, he is a big fat ass, smoking a cigarette. Yeah buddy glad to see you're living strong and keeping up the good fight...right into your fast-food-lazy-cigarette-smoking grave. Keep up the fight! (Rolling eyes) What's double painful to see is that it's yellow, that's my favorite color. Bastards! I don't even like Lance Armstrong, I was rooting for the other guys. So stick that on your wrist! ********** The brilliant morning sun streamed in through the large window above my bed, I cracked the window and a nice breeze blew in. I was in a fantastic mood and the beautiful morning lifted my spirits even more, these positive vibes must be a good sign, for you see I was going jogging with Nikki this morning. I also was going to bring up the beach trip Sharon was planning. I peeled the thin cotton sheet from my body and pulled my blonde hair into a ponytail, I so looked forward to these runs with Nikki. She was there already which meant she was early, but I was also early so she was earlier! (I love these sappy moments, if you don't, just go take a high dive in the short end of the pool.) Sitting on the dew covered blades of grass we stretched out, I slowly moved into a full split and smiled over at Nik, "Bet you can't do this." "Show off." Nikki shook her head which caused me to blush and look away. "You were saying?" I heard her say and looked over, she was also now in full split. "Beginners luck." I said and Nikki smiled, now she looked away. It was getting a little warmer then I anticipated and I removed my long sleeve warm up jacket, pulling it from overhead. I few male joggers were starting to litter the area around us, since this was the beginning of the trial that is no surprise, but their curious eyes seemed unduly focused on us now. The tugging of the warm jacket left my long blonde hair hung down around my face, my eyes searched and now Nikki was standing next to me. 'What is wrong with me?' I suddenly thought I wanted to cry all of the sudden, it's like when I look at this raven haired girl I suddenly lived for the day when we consummate our feelings for one another. I wanted her, I wanted her so much that my hands ached to caress those long legs hidden behind her running pants. My mouth wanted desperately to kiss over her full breasts, 'DAMN!' I thought, 'Snap out of it!' "Ready?" Nikki asked as she walked toward the beginning of the trail. "Yep" I smiled and we started. The sound of the leaves and sticks crunching under my weight brought some comfort, I needed this run, I needed to expel my emotions that seem to torment me day and night, maybe that is why I am so fanatical about exercise. I felt a gust of wind kick up along the trail. I ignored it, pushing on with even greater determination a few strands of my long hair clung to the nape of my neck despite the fact that I had pulled it back into a ponytail. "Hey Nik." I puffed. "Yeah?" "We're going to stay at a beach house in a couple of months, a bunch of us, will you come as my guest?" I asked while jogging up next to her, we then veered to the left and up to the more challenging path. Suddenly she slowed her jog and looked over at me with a warm smile, "That sounds really nice, I'd love to, let me check my work schedule." Nikki said. "Yeah? Okay, well let me know, I'll go ahead and put you down as a 'yes'." I gave a big smile over at her. I was cautiously optimistic as we hugged and talked at the end of the run, we held hands as she walked me to my car, we hugged and started to kiss some more, I just felt it, we had turned a corner and were making slow progress back to being together again. "See you next Saturday?" Nikki asked. "You bet." I smiled. Yeah, I might have been smiling, but my stomach felt like a lead brick just hit bottom, 'next Saturday?' gheesh, no mention of getting together until next Saturday. Will you listen to me? I sound so pathetic! Okay what the heck is wrong with me? I never acted or fretted this way over any guy. I got behind the wheel of my trusty Honda and gripped the wheel, I wasn't upset, sad, angry, now that was kind of odd, I was kind of calm even. But it was a familiar feeling, one of 'survival' that kicks in when I desperately need it to, that feeling that everything will be okay even though all signs indicated otherwise. "So be it." I sighed and adjusted my rear view mirror, "Stop over analyzing everything!" I told my reflection. And then I smiled in the mirror to check out my teeth, it's a weird habit I have, I am obsessed with my teeth, I brush and floss them religiously. ********* Only a few more days until 'Beach Week' and I had managed to avoid Jenna, but as fate would have it a familiar voice rang out from across the weight room; "Been slacking off?" I glanced up and gave a faint smile but continued on with my workout. "Nope, just coming in at odd times, guess we keep missing each other. But don't worry, in a few days I will be gone, out of town." I smiled happily. "Oh yeah, where to?" Jenna seemed to actually show a little more interest this time around. I had to wonder if she was done trying to compete with me and was going to try and just engage me, person to person. Maybe even try to be friendly? "The beach with some friends." I said as I continued my workout. "Sounds like fun." Was Jenna's only reply, brushing off the information as if it affected her none at all. And so it was, that I began to pick up a slight attitude from her once again, it was as if her ego was beginning to swell all over again. It seemed to me that it was her way of coping (coping with life? her loss to me? Perhaps more.) *********** This next part is sure to bore the crap out of you hardcore people because it deals with more relationship stuff. But tough! Anyway, you should be groveling and thanking me for taking this time out to warn you in advance. Sharon set aside a whole day and night for shopping, forcing me to come along. Now I love to shop, but Sharon spends money like the stuff grows on trees and I am much more...well...frugal. Sure Sharon would offer to buy me whatever I wanted, but I rarely took her up on it, I like paying my own way. Besides, I can't afford a $1000.00 handbag like Sharon can, hell I can't even enter a store that sells those kinds of bags because nothing they carry is in my price range anyway! (Yeah, your eyes do not deceive you, that is a 1 with three zeros. But if you have any shopping savvy, you already know that number is small in some stores.) I shop stores like Target, Gap, Guess, and Banana Republic. You'll notice Target was listed first. :) "This is going to be so awesome, I have so much stuff to buy!" Sharon gleefully went thru her list of items to get ready for the beach. I got my shopping done in about an hour, but Sharon's cash supply (Help from Mommy and Daddy) can go on forever. So, I just followed her in and out of the stores and tried to offer my input, but I'm a fashion disaster anyway, so most of the time my input was discarded. I had no idea that I was wearing my emotions so clearly on my face. Sharon suddenly set her shopping bags down on the ground and pulls me by the arm to a nearby bench, "What's wrong?" I just shrugged and avoided eye contact. Trying a more soft approach, Sharon took my hand and began to gently caresses it, "Corbin, sweetie. What's wrong?" "You!" I sighed, but it came out sounding a bit on the irritated side, because I was irritated. "What?" Sharon eyes grew wide with justified confusion. "Your so damn intimidating to be with, the way you can so easily put together nice things and I just feel like I don't fit in with all this junk!" I shrugged, God, how pathetic is this, I felt like some awkward teenager again. That sort of sums up one of my biggest dilemmas in life; While all my girlfriends shopped, read fashion magazines and exchanged/compared notes on makeup and everything else, I was at the gym, reading fitness magazines, surfing fitness sites, reading up on nutrition information and so on. "Now!" Sharon gripped my hand and stands up, "You have nothing to fear!" She smiles with supreme confidence while pulling me to my feet. "Look at me." Sharon insists before we start walking again. "What?" "I'll get you all sorted out, leave everything to me!" Sharon again takes me by the hand and marches us off down the mall. Now this is going to sound very odd, but I sort of idolized Sharon, she was the epitome of 'I AM WOMAN!'. She floated with this air of confidence and strength, yet projected an aura of feminine sensuality that caused men to fall to their knees. Unfortunately, as I've laid out before, if you're not a good friend of hers you were discarded and not even acknowledged, almost looked down upon. Which are characteristics that I disdain, so why am I telling you that I kind of idolize her...messes with my head...it really messes with my head. Blind leading the blind I guess, I choose to be blind and clueless with regards to Sharon, people tell me what a horrible snotty, vindictive brat she is. I defend her of course, saying 'You don't know Sharon.' Besides Sharon is always nice to me, very nice, but why? I don't know...opposites attract maybe? I guess. Okay, enough of that...I won't dwell on that right now....must re-focus... Back to where I was being dragged to: Upon seeing our destination I began to pull back and resist as Sharon tugged on my arm. "No, no, no Sharon, I don't..." Like some little girl I half-heartedly pulled away upon seeing 'Victoria's Secret' Store ahead. "OH YES! Now stop being a baby, this is where we are going to get your bathing suite, and maybe a few other things." That's what I was afraid of, getting a bathing suite from here meant that Sharon had particular plans about what she wanted me to wear. What about what I wanted to wear? "I already have a bathing suite." I sighed and kept looking over my shoulder, noticing the entrance was getting further away as we moved toward the back of the store. "Hahaha..." Sharon laughed, which hurt my feelings, "...That thing? No way, your going to show some of that body off this week, and defiantly show some more of that..." She leaned back to whisper at me, "...some of that awesome ass you have." "I'm not wearing any thong!" I hissed and was getting pissed now. "No silly, nothing so vulgar, but we are going for skimpy, that's for sure." Sharon smiled as her eyes began to evaluate the suits on display. I was having an anxiety attack, breaking out into a sweat, what the hell is wrong with me? "Can't we go to like to the 'The Gap?' or something like that?" I pleaded, "Their stuff isn't so...revealing". Sharon suddenly stops and turns, "Hell NO!" "There's nothing wrong with The Gap." I mumble to myself, "I like it." "I'm sure you do like it," Sharon smugly surmises but never finished her train of thought as her hands breeze thru several selections of bikinis. "AHA!" Sharon exclaims with glee. Cautiously I peered over her shoulder. "Found it!" Sharon withdraws this tiny hot, pink bikini top and bottom from the rack. "No freaking way!" I almost shout. "Not for you silly, for me!" Sharon smiled with satisfaction as I let out a sigh of relief. "This ONE is for you!" Sharon withdraws another little damn bikini, but dark blue. Now I know I'm making this face like I just tasted something really awful and reach into the rack to pull out a one piece. "I kind of like this one." looking over at Sharon, hoping for approval. "Yeah..." Sharon snorts in disapproval, "...I bet you do like that frumpy thing...but NO, this is the one your wearing." Sharon grabs my hand and drags me into the dressing room. Seeing that it was a busy day at the mall all of the dressing rooms were occupied, but if you think that was going to stop Sharon you can forget it. Her brash mouth and attitude waited for no one. More embarrassment ahead my mind flashed in warning. "Well, guess we'll have to go somewhere else." I said, breaking out into a big smile. "Not so fast." Sharon said quietly while looking around, I could tell she was up to something. "Sharon don't." I leaned in close and whispered. Too late, as soon as this young girl stepped out from a stall to check her pants and shirt Sharon bolted right up to here and seethed, "Your finished, right!" The poor girl couldn't have been more then 16 or 17 years old and began to stammer and protest as Sharon began moving into the dressing room. "Hey! What the hell?" The young girl complained. "You've had enough time, got a problem with that?" Sharon turned around and got in her face. The poor girls face turned red and she stuttered, clutching her clothing to her chest in fear as this taller brunette was looking down at her with piercing blue eyes. I just lowered my head and covered my face with my hands, how humiliating, we are so in trouble now. "Besides, you look like you belong down at the local Wal-Mart trying on there shit!" Sharon leaned in close and whispered. Looking ready to burst into tears the girl scooped up her remaining clothes and bolted out of the dressing area. "I get so sick and tired of those little brats coming in here and trying on fifty fucking things and not buying a damn thing." Sharon mumbled and handed the tiny wade of blue fabric to me, pushing open the changing stall. "Okay, get on with it." Sharon closed the door and I stood, material in hand and looked down with anxiety. So I proceeded to get this over with and unsnapped my baggy cargo shorts, sliding them down my thighs. "And I want to see it on you, without you pulling it over your underwear." I heard Sharon whisper from the other side of the door. I pulled down on the elastic bands of my white panties and then stripped off my tee shirt and bra. Pulling the blue bikini bottoms up, I tied the string on the side and then pulled the top on. It was just as I feared, the suite showed allot of skin as I reached behind my neck and laced a bow. Finally adjusting the bottoms and top I stepped in front of the mirror and froze, "Damn" I mumbled to myself out loud, I had to admit I looked pretty damn hot, what with my toned muscles, the dark blue color seemed to compliment my body perfectly. Turning to the side I got very concerned, the bottoms barely concealed my butt cheeks, too much movement and they tended to ride up into the crack of my ass. "Open up, I want to see!" Sharon was now demanding, and I watched the doorknob jiggle. God, what an impatient brat. "Sharon!" I protested. "Don't Sharon me, I want to see now!" I hesitated but unlocked the door. Sharon slipped in and shut the door, I studied her expression, analyzing everything that might tell me what she was thinking. But I need not have bothered, Sharon wasn't holding anything back; Her eyes went wide, "Holly fucking shit!" She blurted out, "Fuck your gorgeous, I mean smoking hot." She slowly stepped towards me. "Maybe I don't want you in something like this after all, at least not if were going to be on the same beach." And I saw a sparkle of jealousy cross her eyes. "Shhhhh, somebody will hear you!" Was all I could think, not to mention my face was already deep red. I took another step back as Sharon kept advancing towards me. "Where are you going?" Her eyes narrowed as she went to block me into the corner. "What?" I nervously smiled, although I was getting little uneasy now. Sharon's right hand then moved down to my bare tummy, feeling the curvature of my rippling abs, I swatted her hand away, "Stop!" I hissed. "Please, it would be so hot if you let me kiss you right here!" Sharon whispered and leaned in. Just great, the freak is back and now I have to set things right again, "Sharon!" I grabbed her arms and pushed her back, "Get a grip on yourself!" "Your no fun." She sighed and slumped her shoulders, "Well, might as well get going, we've got more shopping to do." Sharon reluctantly pulled away, too which I just rolled my eyes. As I left the dressing room I saw a sales woman approach Sharon, my heart skipped thinking her ugliness earlier to the girl was going to get us kicked out of here. "Did you find everything you were looking for?" she simply smiled and asked. Before answering, Sharon does this slow turn looking over at me and smiles before answering, "Oh yes, and so much more." "Looks like I'm buying this one." I sheepishly held up the blue bikini. ********** I have to shut things out, not shut down. There is a big difference, the later can lead to negative, depressing consequences. To 'shut out' means to focus and concentrate, even with the all of the chaos swirling around me. And when I am able to focus and prioritize, everything else in life seems to fall into place, maybe not always perfectly, but I feel more prepared. Exercise, family, friendships were my focus and in no particular order. While things with Nikki were improving, everyone else was still hot on my trail, everyday I would come home and there were messages on my answering machine from Dale, Shelton, Jason, David and so on, I got hit on by guys and girls at the gym. All I could do was to just play it cool, confident and kept them all at arms length. I did not go on a single date, the only time I socialized casually was with Dale or Jason (and of course Sharon). "I broke up with Tiffany." Dale said over dinner one night, nothing romantic now! Just some casual place we go to eat. I froze and looked up, my fork was halfway up to my mouth as I sat there, "Really?" I think my faint smile encouraged him in directions that I did not intend on them going. But I was glad and for a moment had this fond reminiscent feeling as I sat here with my very first 'serious' boyfriend. "It's been a couple of days." Dale smiled and if my guard is down (as it is now) I can't help but smile back. Dale is a gorgeous male specimen, from head to toe, tall, built, wavy hair a girl can spend hours running their fingers thru, women flock to him at bars. I should be flattered I'm the only girl he really wants, and pays attention to. I ordered another glass of wine, and another, and another because I needed to calm my nerves. I looked across the table and my heart jumped, an emotional lump formed in my throat when I noticed we were holding hands. 'When did that happen!' and 'Why am I letting it happen?' Truth be told, there are only two people in this world that I could ever see myself with: Nikki and Dale. They won't share me so I can't have my cake and eat it too, and as you can see I listed Nikki first because that is where my soul belongs, with the woman of my dreams. Odd sounding coming from another woman, oh well, makes me smile to say it and my spirit soars at the thought of it. I wouldn't look him in the eye as he softly touched my fingers and hand, "Your thinking of Nikki aren't you." Dale asked softly. I didn't look at him, but nodded 'yes', my right hand wiped a tear away from my right eye. "It's going to be okay Corbin." He said. "Thanks Dale." I said and looked up at him. "You want to go back to my place, we can watch some TV and just relax." He asked. "Yeah, sounds nice." I said, besides, Dale and I clicked as really good friends now and anyway he drove, so we had to go back to his house anyway for me to get my car. I enjoyed this evening and we settled back on his couch, he put his arm around my shoulder and I leaned into him, it was all nice and reminiscent of our dating back in College. A little comfort, just some physical companionship is not too much to ask for, is it? I know Dale and I have an intimate history, but like I said, we just click on all levels and there is a physical chemistry between us. Also, everything seemed so unsure right now, I really was starting to dislike my job, it was just plain boring, and I had become totally preoccupied with Nikki. So as I lay curled up in my jeans and tee shirt, I considered my options, I could just go home and crawl in bed and try and sleep. Or I could spend time here with Dale, was I worried about leading him on? Sure I was, but I really didn't want to layer one more bit of anxiety on top of a nice evening. The buzz was starting to wear off and I felt his fingers stroking my long blonde hair and he kissed the back of my head. "Feels nice." I sighed, "Thank you." I could sense he was smiling and he kissed me again on the back of the head. "Here, sit up for a second." Dale said and stood up, he moved a small ottoman in front of where I sat. "Place your feet up here." He smiled and patted the cushioned top. "What?" I asked with a smirk as I plopped my sneakers on top of the newly placed ottoman. I told you folks I was dressed casual; old jeans, sneakers, tee shirt, but funny guys are still like, 'Damn you look sexy'. He starts to pry my shoes off, "Prepare to get blasted by some serious foot stink!" I laugh. Dale laughs as well and shakes his head, "You always joke about that, but I'm telling you, your feet do NOT stink!" he says as he peels off my socks. "In fact they smell nice." "Thank you, I do powder my feet before putting shoes on and keep some potpourri in my drawers." I shrug. "I knew you were into all that girly stuff, as much as you try and be the rebel out of the group." He smiled. "Shhhh!" I bring my finger up to my lips, "That's a secret!" "No it's not Corbin." Dale says with this serious look as he pulls my last sock from my left foot, "I know you, with your romantic honeymoon fantasies, the love letters you write Nikki, the way you blush when given flowers, how you love your hair long and soft. In fact, I'd say your more of a real woman then anyone I have ever met." Tears welled up in my eyes as I sat there listening to him talk, "Your so sweet to me Dale." "I can't help it," He said and seemed to fight back his own tears, but that failed him and I watched this strong man kneeling at my feet weep, "I love you." "I love you too." I said, but that's were it ended, it would be too painful to delve deeper into the subject of love because I loved Nikki most of all. My brain suddenly went into sensual overload when his thumbs began to press into the underside of my foot, slowly rubbing up and down. "You rotten devil!" I moaned and arched my back as he began to massage my feet, Dale knew how to give one hell of a foot massage, and I loved being on the receiving one as well. "See what I mean, look how perfectly manicured your toes are." He smiles and gently pulls on each one, then leans over to kiss my feet. You guys, so much macho talk and chest thumping when in public, but behind closed doors you lavish us with love and affection. Well, the rational, decent guys out there do, the rest of you that seethe with hostility towards women because you feel slighted in some way, well you can do the world a favor and go the way of the Dinosaur. How you choose that method of extinction I will leave that up to you. I sat up some and looked down at this beautiful man, I gave a slight gesture with my hands for him to come toward me. We hugged, pulling away for a moment until we were face to face and I smiled a little, there was this awkward moment, I'm not sure if I wanted to kiss him and he seemed unsure about taking the initiative. He bumped the tip of my nose with his and smiled, "It's been a long time." He whispered. "Yes it has." I whispered back and we both brushed our lips against one another and slowly began to kiss, it started with closed mouths, but slowly I felt it build. There was allot of sexually suppressed feelings between Dale and I and it all was starting to spill over. Jason and I had good chemistry, but sitting her 'making out' with Dale was a real jolt, a snap to reality of how powerful things were between Dale and I, in fact, how powerful things still are! There was a long moment of soft moans from both of us as we hugged, kissed and sensually taunted each other's lips and tongues, before consummating in a full blown deep kiss. "I'm tired" I sighed during a break in our kissing, Dale asked if I wanted to sleep over, I nodded 'yes'. He handed me a extra tooth brush as we stood in the bathroom and brushed our teeth, there was no conversation at this point, and it wasn't as awkward as you might think, Dale and I are good friends and can be very comfortable around one another. We just laid on his bed, still fully clothed, I was on my left side and he on his right as we stroked and hugged one another. Maybe you were expecting something more exciting to happen, but it didn't, although I could feel Dale had a full blown erection trying to poke thru his jeans, but that's to be expected I guess. ********** I was up early the next morning, Dale fixed me breakfast and Nikki called me for a run as I was driving back to my Townhouse. The timing was perfect, I changed clothes and drove down to meet her at the park. Besides, I was leaving tomorrow morning to head down to the beach with Sharon. Nikki had confirmed she was coming, but would be a few days late, unable to get the whole week off from work, a serious bummer but I looked at the positive. Besides I was feeling strong and confident, both physically and emotionally, more then ever, but I also had to be sure and not get cocky. I did a little swagger towards Nikki who was standing, bent over gripping her ankles to stretch, "YO Woman!" I called out with a smile. She stood up straight and flashed a big smile at me, 'uh oh' I thought, my heart was jumping and I was fighting off that goofy, giddy feeling I get. Nikki's such a drop dead gorgeous girl that I lose my focus instantly, another reaffirming moment in my mind. When I look at any other girl and guy I have none of these romantic, lusting feelings, she's all I see. I just wish I knew how to reaffirm those feelings in a way that would get her back into my life, permanently. And then it dawned on me, my dim light bulb went off, maybe all this time Nikki is wanting me to pursue her! Makes sense because she was always pursuing me since College. Oh who am I kidding, I'm a dumb blonde, this is too complicated for me to figure out, better I operate on instinct. So that's what I did, I walked straight up to her, gave her a hug and she hugged me back, so I kissed her on the cheek. I wanted to so I did, Nikki looked at me and smiled, her right hand rubbed my back, and she kissed me back. I could tell by her pace, she was pushing herself hard this morning, but I kept up easily as we sprinted through the forest, dodging obstacle after obstacle in what started to feel like a heated race. I would sometimes catch Nikki looking over at me, I was sort of getting into 'my zone' of exercise and the next time our eyes met she flashed a quick smile. 'But wait' I thought, I can tell, something is not right. "Hold up!" I called out in frustration, my legs bracing as I slowed to a stop. Nikki skidded to a stop a second later when I disappeared from next to her, she turned toward me and paced away, we were both breathing very hard and sweating profusely, a clear indication of how hard we had been running. I started taking deep controlled breaths, I could feel the humidity creeping into the morning air. Nikki continued to pace in semi-circles and I was lost, I had no clue, no idea what to say or do, do I be the supportive friend? Does she want me to reach out to her? I guess when all else fails just trust your instincts and just do something. DO SOMETHING YOU BIG DUMMY! My voice called out to me. Okay, I felt confident and took another deep breath to steady my mind and body, I tried to make my walk casual and none threatening as I closed the short distance between us. Nikki continued to pace and then sort of froze when I was right in her face, invading that personal space we all have. "What?" she lowered her head and looked up at me suspiciously, I even remember her right eyebrow cocking upward cautiously. A calm sensation swept over me and I think I even smiled a little, "I love you." A few beads of sweat rolled down over my nose and cheek as I smiled some more. Her response was to take a couple of deep breaths and I watched her try to smile, but a quiver in her lips and cheeks caused that simple effort to become a struggle. Her eyes darted up to me, back to the ground, then back up as her left hand came up to wipe beads of sweat off her face. I leaned in and whispered, "I love you so much." my left hand came up and gently stroked some of her black hair over her right ear. "I love you too." Her voice cracked as her left hand came up, but not to wipe away more sweat, but to cover her face as she began to openly sob, leaning into me. I pulled her to me and for the first time in my entire life I felt so strong and confident, in ways I have never experienced. Nikki had always been so strong for me, so confident as she tried to guide us along, but when had I been strong and supportive for her in the past? Doesn't she need someone to lean on sometimes? "I know you love me, I just needed to hear it." She cried but quickly she gathered her composure, wiping the tears away and pulling back. 'Fucking great!' my mind blasted in frustration, she's pulling away, closing off from me. But then I realized the source of her composure change when another jogger slowed down near us, a man in his late forties, he could tell something was not right with my friend and inquired. "Everything OK?" He huffed. Nikki was walking away and taking deep breaths, I smiled at the guy, "Yeah, everything is fine, she just over did it, we'll walk the rest of the way." "You sure?" He asked. "Yep, very sure." I nodded and waved, reluctantly he started running again. When I turned Nikki had her right hand braced against a large tree, her left hand on her hip. I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her stomach, gently pulling her against me. "You're my girl, you'll always be my girl, you're the only one I love and want." I moaned into the back of her head and waited to see what she did. Her body turned to the right, my eyes got anxious but I was relieved to see the seductive manner in the way Nikki was studying me now. It felt like forever since she had given me that engaging stare. A guest of wind brushed some loose hair across our faces and I tilted my head in until I felt the tips of our noses touch. The tears were coming from my eyes this time, I heard the familiar swish of nylon running pants and jackets which gave me a wonderful comforting feeling. I daringly pressed my hips against Nik's and she pressed back into mine. I moved and we stepped behind the large tree to have as much privacy as possible as I could feel the warmth radiate between our lower bodies. "I'm here for you, I'll never leave you, I love you and I want the world to know it." My hands came up and firmly cupped her high cheek bones, "We can do this together!" I kissed her on the lips. "Please, you're my whole world." I was weeping a little more openly now. She was with me now and needn't say anything, her hands were talking all over me. I could feel the emotions rising up in her, her soft lips kissed my cheeks, lips and chin as Nik wept with what felt like pure relief and joy. "My parents are going to flip out." She smiled and pressed her left cheek against my left, it felt like for a second our tears would seal our skin together indefinitely. My heart began to jack-hammer instantly when I saw Nikki lean back some and tilt her head. "Oh god, I've missed your kiss." I moaned as she lightly brushed those soft pink lips over mine, timidly at first. It was amazing, it was like our first kiss all over again, I could feel Nikki smile and it sent fireworks off in my mind and heart. "I have never felt anything so heavenly in my life." Nikki swooned into my open mouth. My tongue gently sought entrance beyond her lips and I was given access as her mouth slowly parted, our kiss was slow and lazy, which demonstrated that we would have all the time in the world. My left hand reached down and got a firm grip on Nik's right butt and squeezed, pulling her in tight as I ground my crotch into hers. "I want to make love to you." I moaned. "We will love, we most certainly will." Nikki groaned and began to kiss me harder, periodically sucking on my tongue. We gained control of our senses and my right hand came down and grabbed Nikki's left hand and started to walk, it wasn't that far back to the car and Nikki simply followed my lead, side by side thru the leaf matted terrain of the trail. Nikki sighed and her left hand squeezed my right hand, while her right hand reached over and gripped my bicep. Nikki and I had been thru allot the past few weeks, heavy conversations and arguments. Without a word being spoken we covered the last half mile hand in hand, walking along the side of the trail to avoid other joggers blasting past us. Relationships can be such fragile things at times, that's how it felt just a half hour ago between us, so very fragile. All too soon we were at our cars and the sun was breaking thru the scattering early morning clouds. "Thank you." Nikki whispered with a smile, and I knew what she meant, no questions or discussions, she turned to face me and hugged me, she kept hugging me as if she never wanted to let go. "And Thank YOU." I smiled back when we finally pulled away, holding hands. "Wednesday." Nikki moaned into my mouth, "Get in for a minute." She sighed, and I quickly moved around to the passenger seat, she turned to me and caressed my cheek, pulling me close so that we could kiss some more. "I'll be counting the days and hours." I said. I waved as she drove off and I was reminded of a day not long ago during Christmas break back in college, where she came to visit me. The feeling was familiar and my heart was filled with so much love that I stood rooted for about a minute, unmoving, just trying to hang on to the moment as long as I could. 'Okay, now I have to hoof it down to the sports store.' I had my eye on this very cool speedo bikini that was a little more comfortable and sports oriented. The color wasn't typical of what I like, the label said 'Watermelon' which just looked like a dark pink to me, but whatever. The blue thing Sharon got me to buy I would hopefully avoid wearing as much as possible.44_My_Story