My Story 34 By Corbin How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman. ********** "...Misfit, I sit...Lit up, wicked..." -No Doubt ********** I'm BACK with more of my insanely boring ramblings and whatever lessons life has taught me. This writing thing is a snap! I don't understand why writers bellyache about all that bull crap 'Writer's Block'. ********** Every New Year, the gym is flooded with new memberships as work-out-wanna-be sign up due to a New Year's resolution, or maybe they were given a gym membership for Christmas or to shake off the winter blues. But no matter what day or time I go, I have to navigate thru crowds of people to get from the entrance, to the locker room and forget about the weight room, also too over crowded. I should really buy some free weights but I don't see the since in that, I pay good money to belong to the gym so I use it. Yeah, there is a lot of flawed logic in that but never mind. So even if I do have many a friend, why do I feel like a social outcast in everything I do? Outcast is the one word that seems to best suit me, an outcast, but there is the part of me that likes that while the other part of me hates that because it causes me so much grief. My tendency to isolate myself is what causes too many people to label me as being; stuck up, aloof, (Well I've been over this before so no since rehashing it). I'll just end by saying this, about 70% of all the new faces at the gym will disappear come spring and summer...it always happens that way...they start out strong but end up fading away. "Ohhhhh boo hoo hoo, why can't I shed the pounds, why can't I stay on my diet, why can't I get my body to look like that girl's (meaning me) ohhhhhhh, Waaa! Waaa!...Boo Hoo Hoo" Cry me a river you wimps, it's called willpower. You focus on your goal and you just do it, you don't have to like it, you just do it and stick with it. But I guess your couch and that super-size-helping of fries has more willpower then you do. ********** When we last left our heroine (that's me), Sharon had come to my rescue by injecting herself into a potentially volatile situation. 'What situation is that?' you may ask, because most likely you forgot or don't care or whatever! Anyway, the situation where I have Tasha tied up like a pretzel on the ground, choking as she babbles out her apologies. At least that is the victorious ending that I was mentally projecting, so I guess I need to rephrase the above statement by saying something like 'Coming to Tasha's rescue'. "I want to talk with you" Tasha called out to me as Sharon and I went to leave. But I was ignoring her now as we moved into a more crowded part of the house. I did give a parting glance over my shoulder and watched as the girl came to a quick stop, giving me a frustrated smirk at my quick exit. "Call me later, okay?" Sharon turned around and blew a kiss in Tasha's direction. 'How retarded' was all I could think about Sharon's girly banter. You know, it's funny that I can still vividly remember how Sharon pulled my head over onto her shoulder and gently stroked my tired, aching head. "Its okay baby...its okay." Sharon would softly whisper and that was also the beginning of her affectionate use of the word 'baby' towards me, it was either 'baby this' or 'babe that'. Which maybe sounds stupid and goofy, but somehow it came out sounding very reassuring, she seemed to read me well, knowing when I was going thru allot of internal turmoil. Well, anyway, I'm not one to put things off that are bothering me so when we got back to the townhouse I told Sharon flat out about my 'issues' with her new buddy Tasha; "I can tell she just doesn't like me...." I started out. "Tell me...who?" Sharon had a concerned look. To me it wasn't a big deal as I casually tossed my shoes into the closet. "I'm just having a lot of disagreements with Tasha." "Fuck." Sharon uttered, almost stunned, "You serious?" "Sorry, I'm trying." I said, which was mostly a lie, I don't like Tasha, she's an idiot who likes to single out people and then pick...pick...pick, kind of like a bully if you will. "Maybe it's my fault." I sighed and sat down on the edge of my bed. I really didn't believe it was my fault, but more or less testing Sharon's support of me, stupid girl stuff. "Don't say that, it's not your fault." Sharon quickly replied. That was a relief to hear and I bring this conversation up to reinforce the fact that Sharon has-my-back, so to speak, she didn't doubt what I had to say about her new found friend in Tasha, because I am not one to make up this kind of junk. The only problem was, Sharon tended to overreact, go into drama mode if you will. "You're not going to do anything are you?" I asked, faking concern, but I knew she probably would. "No" Sharon sighed, but her slight hesitation before giving out her 'No' sort of gave away her true intentions. "You okay?" Sharon sat down next to me and put her arm around my neck, pulling me in close. So as you can see there was this constant effort on Sharon's part to comfort me, and I never rejected that and the more I embraced her efforts the more she would hold, hug and touch. All friendly at first, the touching that is, I kind of just accepted it as kind of a substitute for Nikki not being at my side. "What's so funny?" Sharon glanced down as I chuckled a little. "You gonna tuck me in too?" I finally laughed out loud. "I'll tuck your ass in alright, keep giving me attitude!" Sharon just glared over and that's when I picked up another one of those awkward glances as I looked up into her eyes. I had used a little humor to try and diffuse these moments, but it didn't hold things off for very long, all it took was a lingering glance and I could feel those butterflies in my stomach, kind of the way I felt around Nikki (Speaking of, I need to call her, I remember that thought going thru my mind :) Even in the moments, I never had the desire to make a pass at Sharon, we were friends, and I had this vision of us kissing and then the two of us then proceeding to freak out, jumping up and shaking our arms like we had little spiders crawling all over us...yelling and screaming around the room...'YUCKY- GROSS YOU FREAK GET-AWAY-FROM-ME!!!' Things parted normally, Sharon simply collected herself and quickly stood up, "All right girl, I'm hitting the sack. Let's just forget about everything tonight, okay?" "Sounds fine with me." I sighed with a smile. But I knew Sharon she had her best face on but underneath there were waves of angry tension and maybe a devious part of me knew that she was going to take it out on Tasha. I can be such a little devil...hehehehe.34_My_Story