My Story 33
By Corbin
How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman.

**********

I love Christmas, mostly because of my religious beliefs, but it's the entire 
'Season' thing. I am not into buying gifts and stuff; I think that's a bunch of 
marketing bullshit created by businesses to increase their bottom line.

Okay, so where was I?

Oh yeah, I chilled things off with Jason, much to his dismay, he was becoming a 
good friend and we enjoyed each other's company, and neither one of us wanted to 
loose that (true he was confused by my allowing him to kiss me that day in the 
garage, and our night out dancing, but tough cookies! I like flip flopping on my 
decisions sometimes, besides, I'm in love with Nik and it was making me ill to 
become intimate with anyone else but her). 

I had a few other girl friends I could hang around and some guy 'acquaintances' 
(Notice I did not use the word friend? That's because history has taught me that 
whenever I try to hang out with some guy as a 'friend' he ALWAYS tries to make a 
pass at me.) 

BTW, Nikki and I still spent time together, but not so much in the romantic 
sense, but as friends, it was strained and awkward at times, mainly because of 
Jason and how Nik perceived me to be punishing her. But, in some weird, 
spiritual way we both understood that this time apart was something we both 
needed. However, just like in College, the more we tried to maintain some 
distance, the more Nikki and I ached to be together. It's like we were playing 
some game, we would meet, go back to my house our her apartment, and the sexual 
tension was making us both nut cases. I recall arriving back at my townhouse 
after going out to lunch, without word or warning Nikki grabbed me from behind 
and hugged me, I froze and slowly turned toward her, we both stood and hugged 
for what felt like forever. We then laid down on my bed and started to kiss for 
what seemed like endless minutes. It's like this was some slow buildup until the 
moment when we both felt emotionally and physically ready to commit to one 
another, College started to feel like a small stepping stone compared to what we 
were doing now, making that life long commitment is very scary.

**********

Jason's reality check occurred when he and I ran into Nikki at the mall one day, 
"Sweet Jesus" he blurted out, but only loud enough so I could hear it. I smiled 
and elbowed him in the arm, but his reaction is pretty typical, Nikki elicits 
that kind of response from men and women. It was a somewhat awkward moment, 
standing there looking at the love of my life, I felt bad for Jason he was 
forever on guard after meeting Nikki, he said it was obvious that Nikki and I 
had a spark between us.

He even started coming to the gym with me on occasion, although at 
first it freaked him out that I could out lift him on every thing imaginable. He 
seemed to be OK with that once he began receiving some admiring/envious looks 
from other guys at the gym who had never figured out how to get me to even 
acknowledge them. The ongoing rumor was that I just wanted a guy who I could 
bully around, the truth was that Jason caught MY eye because he was humble, 
polite and just plain nice, a really respectful guy. Although he was not all 
that into exercise like I was, I guess the trade off was fine because he was in 
fairly good shape and did I mention a really decent, handsome guy? Yet I could 
easily kick his ass if push came to shove...sorry....just thought I would add 
that.

Jason and I soon settled into a nice friendship, we never did get physical again 
after that day in his garage, although he would often try hard to flirt with me, 
but I set him straight. Although we were not dating, he seemed totally satisfied 
with just wanting to 'hang out', I suspected he got a thrill out of being with 
me in public (Damn! Do I have a swelled ego or what!) It was also obvious that 
he had started to become constantly distracted by my body...maybe entranced is a 
better word, but that sounds a little silly. I admit that I enjoyed the 
attention of having someone admire the years of hard work I had put into this 
body, it felt like a good and flattering thing to have. I wouldn't classify him 
into the true muscle worshiping category, but it came darn close to that. Oh, 
one other thing and this is MOST important, Jason knew how to keep his mouth 
shut, at least as much as I was aware of, so I felt comfortable around him.

**********

"You look phenomenal, good god you make that outfit look HOT!" Sharon blurted 
out when I came out of my bedroom all dressed up. Yes, you guessed it, Sharon 
was dragging me to some damn party again, I wanted to invite Nikki but this was 
one of those nights she set aside for just the two of us, so that was important 
to her.
 
Being as involved in various College activates as we had been, it wasn't unusual 
to pop onto campus for the occasional party. Something I hated, but Sharon 
loved, so she never told me in advance if that was indeed her (our) plans for 
the evening.

"Just a little last fling at one of the Fraternity's." Sharon would shrug and 
smile. 

"Sharon, you know I hate these things, good grief. It's time to move on past 
that already." I would complain because honestly, I didn't get along with large 
groups of girls and guys when I was in a funk, like now.

"Oh come on Corbin, it won't be but a few minutes, we won't stay long I 
promise." Again, that line was often repeated. I was always one of those people 
that crapped all over plans before things would get going. But as usual, once I 
got to a party or social event I normally had a pretty good time. It was kind of 
nice to socialize with friends I had not seen in awhile. 

So let's move right along and revisit my first big pain-in-the-ass out of 
College, that would be Tasha, I'm sure you recall me bringing that dumb bitch's 
name up before. But in any case, if someone is looking to pick a fight with you, 
and if they are really determined, you might as well deal with it head 
on. Something I tried to do one night at a party, oddly enough, yet my only real 
concern that night was trying to keep my short dress down around my butt as I 
would consciously pull on its ends. It wasn't that short, but god it sure felt 
like the slightest breeze and I would be flashing everyone around me. And 
the men, no small chit chat anymore, they just cut right to the chase, wanting 
my number and a date or anything at all, just to be able to hang out (Or Hook 
up, I hate that term).  Hey, the fact I already told you I am seriously involved 
with someone mean anything to you trolls?

Guess NOT, you losers. 

My eyes kept darting up to the clock as I noticed that our stay had extended 
well beyond Sharon's promise, but I was having a pretty good time and a slight 
buzz helped with that effort.  Glancing down at my cup I noticed it was 
time for a refill because the more buzzed I got, the more I could tolerate the 
obnoxious crowd. 'No beer, I hate beer.' I was always repulsed by the nasty 
looking kegs at parties (well mostly I was). I need fine wine because that is my 
one snobby indulgence, okay maybe I am a bit stuck up in other areas. So while 
I continued my hunt in the kitchen I got the feeling someone was hanging around 
behind me and so I slowly turned expecting to find no one there because I 
figured I was just being paranoid. But guess what! It was my good buddy Tasha 
standing there, the girl was all decked out. Her top wrapped around to a knot on 
the side of her waist, it constrained her bosoms that were pretty large in size, 
maybe C cup or small D. So this is only like my second time meeting her and she 
is once AGAIN giving me the evil eye, glancing up and down...left to right, 
diagonal, who gives a shit, it's a typical move by women with attitudes, trying 
to demean you. I admit, it was partly my fault things got off to another awkward 
start because we both just kind of stood there staring at one another, I think 
both of us were somewhat slightly buzzed from the alcohol.  My normally 
rational, logical mind couldn't deny, nor ignore whatever odd competitive vibe 
this girl kept passing my way. Honestly, I didn't give a heaping crap about 
Tasha or her opinion so I never initiated a dialogue with her, which I think 
helped cause this short, silent stand off before the dark skinned girl 
approached the counter I was leaning against. She boldly got within an inch, 
shoulder-to-shoulder, perhaps closer then one would normally stand next to 
someone. 'Uh oh she's invading personal space...emergency procedures.' My mind 
started clicking, but I just kind of smiled a little.

"Hi Corbin." Tasha finally remarked with her own smile.

"Hello there." I casually remarked, never once turning to my right to actually 
look at the girl. That's when I suddenly felt Tasha's bare, shoulder briefly rub 
against my own, which caused me to instinctively lean away, thus breaking off 
the contact. Being so close I was able to get a better look at her face now, she 
had strong cheekbones, attractive 'and a nice body' I had to give the girl 
credit. 

"Oh did my touch offend you? Sorry." Tasha suddenly spat and I felt her face 
jerk a little towards me. So, here we go, this is how it sometimes starts you 
know, something so innocent. Now, at this point I just closed my eyes and took a 
deep breath before tossing my cup towards the garbage can, not caring if it hit 
or not, but I scored, two points...yippee. I could tell Tasha was trying to 
sound strong, but her voice just came out nervous, almost trembling.

"What a nice way to get better acquainted." I sighed and pushed off from the 
counter. I suppose moments like this all come down to one's perception and I'm 
sure Tasha has a totally different take on things then I do.

"Like that would ever happen." Tasha snapped right back at me and gave me 
another long, slow judging look up and down. Okay, I mean what the hell! Does 
she want to brawl right here in the kitchen? Good grief. "Because I get the 
feeling you don't like me, or just maybe, we don't like each other." 
She quickly added.

Now she was eyeing me hard, I guess looking for some type of reaction, praying 
for something I guess. "Really? I hadn't noticed." I shrugged while letting my 
shoulder muscles relax, I decided to try and take the cool approach. But I 
suspected Tasha was the type to confront any issue head on, with little 
regard for how she did it, nor for the potential outcome. Not to mention, I felt 
like this girl was used to creating an issue as long as it meant she got closer 
to the outcome that she wanted, whatever that was, I could only speculate at 
the moment. 

Tasha smirked and from the corner of her lips crept a smile, and all I could 
think was 'Here it comes.' My subconscious warned me. "Sharon says you're kind 
of quiet, I say you're a stuck up bitch." The way Tasha said it you think she 
was paying me a compliment, especially the way she smiled while she spoke. Tasha 
appeared to be on familiar ground now, as if she enjoyed this type of tough 
talk and a new sense of confidence and calm came over her body as she stepped 
in towards me, her long finger nails tapping along the linoleum counter top, 
very annoying. I admit I was a little thrown by that comment and raised my 
eyebrows while collecting my thoughts. "You heard me." Tasha added, I guess just 
in case she thought I had extra wax in my ears or was kind of dense and racking 
my brain for the meaning of the word 'bitch'. 

But in the end, her comments seemed hollow and superficial to me, meaningless 
because she didn't know me, so if it was suppose to hurt me, it really didn't. 
"I suppose those with a narrow mind and quick to judge may come to that 
conclusion."

"Is it because I'm black?"

I admit, I was pretty stunned by that use of the old race card and I had to 
physically close my now surprised mouth. Tasha sensed my hesitation and let a 
faint smile slip past her lips. 

"You would go there, but the answer is 'no' and stop trying to pin your hang-ups 
on me." I fired right back, but I was over the whole conversation now, looking 
for a quick exit. But Tasha stepped in closer and to the side as if to block my 
escape. 

"So what is it then?" She slowly put her hands on her hips, "Because I know it's 
not my imagination the way you give me a slight-of-shoulder attitude, or maybe 
you're just a rude bitch to everyone that doesn't fit into your lily-white 
world." 

'Is this girl for real?' Is what I'm thinking as she continues with her various 
attempts at insult? So, I just stand there, not moving a muscle, thinking, 
contemplating on what she is saying and why she's saying it. I think on some 
level it was frustrating her that I was just sort of standing there, like 
some statue. Finally I decided to speak, "The problem with you, is that you 
can't leave well enough alone and if someone doesn't like or think things ought 
to be the way you see them, then 'their' the one with the problem.  The 
sooner you get 'over it' or get that 'chip' knocked off your shoulder, the 
happier your miserable life is going to be."  I tilted my head towards the 
kitchen entryway, "Now, why don't you do the smart thing for once and walk 
away." 

I let the last three words slither off my lips because it took my mind a moment 
to catch up with what had just happened, basically I had snapped, that mode I go 
into when it's time to fuck-somebody-up. There are other physical clues, like I 
get very calm, which seemed the opposite of what Tasha was going thru at the 
moment, she looked a little sweaty and hesitated as if nobody has ever 
threatened her like that. Well, I didn't out right threaten her, but sort 
of took it in that direction.

"You wanna try and knock that chip off my shoulder?" Tasha gave me this eager 
smile and stepped in even closer now, our boobs were almost touching and I got 
an icky feeling about that. "I've heard about you, I know all about how everyone 
is suppose to be sooooo impressed with you as some *star* athlete. And your 
suppose to be some tough girl." Tasha decided to lean in a bit more towards me, 
I leaned back some so our bodies would not touch.

"Well good," I said, "Nice to know you've been educating yourself." I really 
should just shut up now, cause I kept telling myself I needed to make an exit 
from this scene. But then it happened, Tasha raised her left arm up and the back 
of her hand stroked my bicep, even with all the tough bravado Tasha was laying 
down, I could tell the girl was nervous, the way her eyes would spastically 
shift. But still, the touching thing had plucked my last nerve and I smacked 
away her hand while taking a step back. My hand moved allot quicker then she had 
time to anticipate because she kind of stood there in shock while her left hand 
hung, floating out in the air, probably still smarting a bit from the back 
handed slap to her wrist.

"I wish you would stop touching me and getting so close to me." I simply sighed. 
Look, I understand, what's not to love about me, I'm smart, beautiful, funny, 
caring, loving, generous, kind, smart, funny (did I already say those?). Just 
teasing.

Tasha just smiled "Why don't you and I go somewhere private to finish 
discussing this." Well, she's seems pretty determined, I was somewhat impressed 
with her willingness to follow thru on this little endeavor of hers, but please, 
there was no way in heck I was going to fight in this skimpy outfit and heels.

But alas, it was not to be anyway. 

"Hey guys!" Sharon's timing was perfect.

So the tension dissolved and Tasha suddenly put on her song and dance for 
Sharon, acting like we were all best friends. Great, how do I tell Sharon she 
has a nut case for a friend. If you could only have seen the hugs and fake 
kisses between Sharon and Tasha while all the while I am contemplating on how to 
break the news to Sharon; I am gong to have to beat Tasha's ass in the days 
ahead.





  
33_My_Story