College 26
By Corbin
How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman.
**********
"Strength and honor are her clothing: and she shall rejoice in time to
come."
-The Bible
**********
I try not to bump into anyone when I am out and about; be it shopping,
work, or wherever I might be traveling. It's a matter of courtesy I
think, that and I worry about offending anyone. Some people stroll along
in an oblivious state of mind, not watching where they are walking and
some people even have this arrogant stance/swagger as if they own the
sidewalk or aisle way. Guys do this allot, especially if they are in groups,
trying to project that manly, cocky swagger. You know what I mean, that
'Hey look at me, I'm a big shot, although I'm really a nobody.' attitude.
Single guys are the worst offenders, yet some of the blame lies in genetics
(it has to be) because it's so universal in it's application. The old mating
ritual where the loudest male is hoping to draw attention from a female,
yep you've got my attention now, YOU DORK! Okay, now what? Some light
banter, maybe a compliment or some bold invitation, but you really can't
be yourself now can you? Because you have your friend's watching, listening and
you don't want to show a side to yourself that could be construed as sensitive,
soft. No, you must remain aloof and cool. Some girl's like that arrogance, that
attitude, but they're idiots, so it's really a perfect pairing.
I was at Banana Republic (a clothing store for women and gay men, well
not really GAY men, but that's what I think). And I see this dress hanging
on a rack that I really wanted try on, but it meant having to navigate near
a group of people that were rather obnoxious. About five guys and two
girl's, the guys were trying to offer fashion input to the girl's, mostly in
joking context. Now, how does this involve me? We'll I observed a couple
of other girl's get barraged with corny jokes and pickup lines when they
got too close to the offending group.
'Okay, let's see if I can time this just right. When most of the guys have
their attention focused elsewhere, I'll slip in between them and that rack,
grab a couple of dresses and slip away to the dressing room.' Okay, I
make my move as my eyes focus on the dress, my left hand is reaching
out to grab the hanger...so far so good.
"If you model that for me, I'll buy it for you." I hear.
DAMN! I WAS SO CLOSE!!!!!
Shit *grumble*grumble*mumble*complain*groan*.
My left fist clenches the hanger and I cringe at such a stupid comment. I
am a fairly analytical person, because I am always calculating what my
next move may/could/would/should be...I hear the subtle sighs of amusement from
a few guys and girl's in there small click and that is what sets me off. Now
most people just shrug off a comment like that as being harmless...well
whatever...call it what you want you spineless losers but I don't let anyone off
the hook, well mostly.
"How about you shut the fuck up and mind your own business." I glare to
my right and snap. This guy must have blushed a dozen shades of red. Now it's
important that if you plan on responding like I just did you had better be
willing to back it up, because if this guy turns out to be a pro with sarcasm
he/she will throw a zinger right back at you, making YOU look like the idiot. So
I immediately follow-up with another comment;
"How about this, how about I go and try this on and if I like it you pay for it
anyway, foregoing the pleasure of seeing me wear it. How would like that?"
I step around to my right cause I'm navigating to the dressing room,
setting myself up for an out.
"How is that fair?" He chuckles, trying to regroup his thoughts, yeah what
thoughts? Can he generate a thought?
"You asked ME remember? Which mean's you still need my permission,
right?" I focus on him a little harder, but now I got a sales associate
standing to my right, uh-oh. "Something wrong?" The Sale's associate to
my right whispers at me, apparently I'm causing a scene.
"No, just trying to try-on a dress in peace." I groan and step around her,
storming off to the dressing room. At least the Sales-girl had the resolve to
step up to the group and ask them to keep it down. Meanwhile my whole
day was ruined after that, I went into the dressing room and sat down,
throwing that stupid dress on the floor while I tried to calm down. I hate
this shit, I hate blowing up at people, I've always tried to think of myself
as a 'lover not a fighter', but I'm flunking. Crap!
**********
That night, after the fight at the club, Dale called me very concerned and said
he wanted to come over and talk. I agreed because I wanted to let it be known,
that dating Tiffany was OUT OF THE QUESTION! Well, also because it was good to
see him.
"Who was that?" Sharon asked when I came out of my room.
"Dale." I mumbled.
"That was so sweet of him to call!" Sharon said enthusiastically.
"That was so sweet of him to call!" I say in my mocking high-pitched voice that
Sharon hates.
"Smart ass!" Sharon says and gives me a firm nudge on the shoulder, "If I wasn't
all concerned about your emotional state I would kick your ass!"
I actually chuckle a little, as you well know by now Sharon and I have the
ongoing banter, I push her buttons, she pushes mine and she will then threaten
to kick my ass. You have to hear and see it, she copes this real girly tone and
attitude which makes all the more funny.
So Dale came over, the tension that exists between recently separated couples
was very thick, but he does love me and is concerned. He was pretty irritated I
got into a fight.
"I have a favor to ask Dale." I sighed and stood up, wringing my hands together
as I paced the floor.
"A favor Corbin?" He slumped back in the chair, shocked that I had the audacity
to ask something like that, "Better be a small one." He said and even smiled a
little which caused me to smile, that underlying banter between us is still
there.
"What ever happens between us Dale." And I stop pacing, turn around and look
down at him, "Never, ever go out with Tiffany!"
Dead silence. Oh I know he heard me all right.
"I don't understand." He looks at me with this blank stare.
"Don't act dense!" I snap which caused him to momentarily sit-up straight. "You
know what Tiffany is all about Dale!" I lowered my voice and tried not to get
emotional, regretting my hostile tone. Dale's shoulders slumped a little, he
seemed momentarily confused and lost in thought, his head shook back and forth
some. I reached down and ran my fingers thru his light brown, almost blondish
color hair, the thick waves of his hair had a reminiscent feeling to it.
"Corbin, why are you doing this?" He sighs and gets teary eyed, "I don't give a
damn about anyone, certainly not Tiffany! All I want is YOU back in my life! I
love you!" He suddenly stands up and gets in my face. Now my heart is racing
hard and the chemistry that is so strong between us erupts back to the surface
again and I did not expect this at all! Not just a big flame here, but like an
explosion!
I reach up and grip his shoulders as he pulls me against him, our eyes lock in
for a few seconds and I know where this is going. I want it and he wants it, our
history flashes before my eyes, the arguments, the great ups and downs, always
we come back together and make-up!
His head is tilting and I am opening my mouth, how much I've missed our kissing,
we begin with a slow, open and deep kiss as his arms around my waist and pulls
me in tight. We are both moaning as we kiss, I then feel him lean back some
lifting me up to my toes, anxiously I draw my legs up and wrap them around his
waist, locking my ankles behind his back. Doesn't matter that we are fully
dressed, the position and close embrace conveys how much our bodies ache for
contact, my crotch grinds against the erection inside of his own jeans. This is
nuts! Love is nuts!
I feel his body tense and move as he lowers us down to the bed and we stretch
out, holding and continue kissing for several minutes. "I love your lips" He
sighs and kisses my upper and lower lips gently; no more heavy conversations, no
arguing, just love and affection that we've been holding back for days and days
now.
A self-serving smile comes over my face as he moves down to my chin and kisses
along my throat, 'If Tiffany could only see us now!'
"God I love this body." He moans into the cleavage showing thru the v-neck shirt
I am wearing and I smile again because I would love to send a picture of this to
Tiffany.
I end up on my right side, he's on his left with his left arm under my neck,
pulling me in close as his right hand has a firm grip on my butt (his favorite
place to put his hands, well that and my breasts). My left leg is draped over
his legs, intertwined, and we twist and turn to keep our bodies as tightly
together as possible.
"I can't let you go Corbin, I've never loved anyone like this, I want you, I
love you, I want us to graduate and be married." He softly tells me, "I'm
miserable without you."
"Oh baby," I sigh we kiss on the lips several more times, such lovely-romantic
talk gets me very excited and turned-on, I'm now pushing my hips hard against
his, I can really his erection as he pushes and grinds his crotch against mine.
"My tough scrapping girlfriend." Dale smirks.
I just blush and look down, nuzzling my cheek against his, "I'm not so tough."
"I bet you could kick my ass." He whispers in my ear.
"I bet you'd like that." and kiss his cheek.
"I bet I would too." Dale says.
"Nah, I'm just a tame, lovable pussy cat." I purr into his neck.
Now this is NOT how I expected the conversation or night to go. The plan was to
give a stern lecture about Tiffany and then I kick him out of my apartment so I
can go back to being depressed and sulking. But what can I say, I can get swept
away in a romantic moment, my big strong ex-boyfriend sweeps me off my feet!
Ahhhhh...very nice!
But no sex!
Late that night he left to go back to his place, no promises were made, although
he left little more hopeful then when he arrived.
Hahahaha!! Booo Hooo Hooo on poor Tiffany, try as she might, Dale kept giving
her the big brush off, to which I would give her a little smirk whenever I would
see her on campus. She would just shoot me her best evil, hateful look, and I
even caught her mouthing the words 'fuck you'. I really don't know how Tiffany
and I never came to blows while in school, I guess opportunity never came
around, and believe you me, I would have loved to have beaten the crap out of
her! :)
Errr, well, listen to me will ya'? Talking so sure of myself!
**********
Consequences.
There are consequences in life and I think allot of people don't want to
accept that. You see it happen all the time...in real life and via the media
outlets, when people say things and then act/appear SHOCKED when some
repercussion occurs because of what they did and/or said. Please, get with
the program you oblivious knucklehead, life is passing you by.
Anyway, that's where I am now, about mid way thru the last semester of
college when things really started to unravel. I had become unpredictably moody,
the stress of dating Dale on-and-off (mostly off) was making me a nervous wreck!
And now the hardest part to admit, I get kicked back to some third string,
bench-warmer on the Soccer team, my own fault really, I had lost all focus
and drive to compete and the Coach was very kind about it; "Your heart
just isn't in it anymore Corbin." He said. It was true...I was pretty much
going thru the motions those last couple of months of college, the only
thing I continued doing with any passion was my studies, lifting and
attending my martial arts classes. Although I had a bad attitude in my
martial arts class as well, I don't give a damn about
tradition/philosophy/spirituality or any of that crap just show me how to
fight.
"You have a bad attitude Corbin." The instructor said in his best firm, but
concerned expression after class one evening.
"I know." I stated expressionless, standing in my white Gi, dripping in
sweat from the workout. Nikki walked by and gave me a concerned glance, and
friendly pat on the back but kept walking. On a side note, Nikki and I were
still dear friends, she had also broken up with Rob, so that left us to date
each other right? Unfortunately we were both too big chicken shits to step up
and make any decisions. We had stopped being flirty and touchy with one another,
some kind of total fear had gripped us both, I was totally confused about allot
of things at this point in my life. Nik was not going to push anything right
now, besides not much time had really gone by, maybe two or three weeks at most.
"So what are you going to do about it?" He fired right back folding his arms
across his chest, trying to give me some of his tough love.
"I don't know." I said and kept staring him in the eye, no cockiness, just a
simple 'I don't know'. I think he could tell I was in trouble, that kind of
floating thru the void kind of trouble (which I guess is better then doing drugs
kind of trouble). I took some time off from martial arts, that left lifting and
classes to focus on.
So what did I do? I took a job at a local restaurant on the outskirts of town
for some extra cash. Initially I wanted to apply for a hostess position, but
settled for a waitress job. It's a very nice place, a small family owned
French Restaurant that was very high-end and romantically oriented, ironic
huh seeing that Dale and I were no longer together. Almost all the clientele
were rarely from campus, they were older folks looking for a nice quiet
night out. It was fairly demanding because it was one of those places
where I have to be able to recite everything from memory...had to learn
about fine wines and such. I liked it, nice job with a nice boss and the wife
of the owner used to always hug me at closing, she was so sweet to me.
The job was therapy for me, totally out of the whole campus scene. I know
allot of guys and girls that take jobs close to school, to be around
friends...to totally immerse themselves in that whole College life 24/7. But
I purposefully selected a place that was off the beaten path, where I rarely
ever saw a fellow student, oh I saw the occasional professor or school
administrator come in for dinner with his or her significant other, but that
was about it.
I got to become good friends with the bartender there and a few of us
would usually sit at the bar after closing to have a few drinks before going
home, it was a nice distraction.
**********
A big part of my life felt like it was idling in Neutral, my social life to be a
little more precise. I walked around with such immense sadness lately that I
could not really put my finger on it, but I suspected I knew the cause and the
cure. I was a walking time-bomb, both Nikki and I were like that because we had
dodged so many issues recently, we were not hostile towards each other, just
tense. Like I said, we kept things at arms length for some stupid, unspoken
reason, but it felt awkward as we tried to hang out like we used to, you can't
turn back the hands of time on events that have already unfolded. Nik and I have
too much physical chemistry and history to just pretend like we could ever be
'just friends'.
And so when something happened, more like exploded, I think it's poetic that it
happened in the place we first met.
I was looking down at the tile floor, sweating profusely and feeling pretty damn
good, I was starting to get my focus back into the game, the Coach had even
commented that she was damn impressed with my concentration and team play today.
"You go girl." Nikki said and rubbed my back, she stepped over the bench and
opened her locker next to mine. In that moment, one of pure physical exhaustion,
I had let my guard down and Nik's touch sent a shiver thru up my spine, she's
been so nice to me, a little distant we both have, but so supportive recently.
My head was still down and suddenly the fog had lifted, I was looking at her
dirty soccer shoes, the socks and guards that protect her strong shin and calf
muscles. Her soccer shorts are long, so only the briefest of skin shows, but I
stare at her tan, muscular thighs, dripping with sweat, a tingle runs up my
spine and I feel her effect on me.
"I should have come to you after Dale and I broke up." It just came out of my
mouth on it's own, well I wanted it to, but I was afraid it came out rather
loud, maybe urgent. But it was the first real comment from me, to Nikki, about
where my heart was with regards to us. I suddenly looked up and even had tears
in my eyes, gheesh where did all of this come from? Talk about jumping right
into the 'thick of it'.
"It's okay." Nik said and simply shrugged, she wasn't looking at me yet, just
fiddling around in her locker some.
"Hey," I grabbed her right hand with my left and gave a gentle tug indicating I
wanted her to sit, Nikki's left hand ran thru her hair and over her ears as if
she was thinking about something, her hair like mine was damp with sweat. Most
of the other girls were already gone or in the shower by now so there was some
privacy to be had. Even with the noted privacy, Nik seemed to reluctantly set
down next to me, I let out a sigh while still holding her hand.
"I wanted you to come see me." Nik finally said, and I could see this amazing
look transpire from irritation, even anger, to one of sadness all in a few
seconds. She glanced up to look in my eyes, but seemed startled by my emotional
expression and looked back down to her lap, her legs nervously shifted.
"It was just..." I leaned in close to speak, but Nikki started speaking again so
I let her continue.
"When I heard you and Dale split," Nikki interrupted and then looked up at me
again, "I was also freaking out, you think I walk around with everything put
together? Who did I have to turn to when Rob and I split? Yeah I have friends,
but none that I could confide in where my feelings for YOU were concerned." Just
then Nikki's eyes got red, I could literally see the veins filling with blood as
the first hint of tears began. I swallowed hard and held her hand even tighter,
I was so relieved to feel her squeeze mine back.
The damn had burst, I spilled my guts to my exotic Portuguese girl, "You're my
whole world Nikki, my whole world, it's so overwhelming
and to think that at the age of 21 you could be my whole future," Tears streamed
out of my eyes and down my cheeks. I didn't feel like I was making sense and
leaned away, in fact I turned my head away embarrassed, "I just overanalyze
everything, I guess I just end up wasting so much time, I don't know how you put
up with me."
The corner of my left eye caught her face moving in close to my left ear, I
smelled the sweat coming off her body and of all her other wonderful scents, it
was beautiful.
"I love you, that's why I put up with you." She whispered and sniffed back on
her own tears.
A bustle of noise snapped us to attention and once again we were making
ourselves look busy, standing and digging thru our lockers, "I'm just going to
shower here, you?"
"Yeah, might as well." Nikki sighed. I wrapped a towel around my midsection,
slipped on my flip flops and walked toward the showers passing the noisy girls
leaving the shower. With all the dirt and sweat it was easy to mask our tears.
"No hanky panky you two!" A couple of them shouted at us.
"Ho ho ho, ha ha ha" Nikki mocked them in return and I even smiled.
I felt like I was moving so slow, removing the towel and hanging it up, the
initial spray of cold water didn't even register, I kept turning the handle
until the hot water was coming out now. I glanced over to my right, Nikki had
taken up a shower head several feet away, it didn't bother me, we typically do
this kind of thing, both of us recoiling from each other after a heavy moment so
as to reflect on things. Well, also as to maintain some degree of discretion,
standing next to one another in the showers all the time would only add fuel to
the fire of gossip. But my looks were not very discrete, I shuddered and found
myself admiring her body like I have done a thousand times before, each time
feels like the first though. Her body reminded me of a sculpture, flawless in
its design and beauty, her toned muscles revealed themselves in every movement.
The glossy sheen of water really brought out her tanned skin, but her skin was
naturally dark anyway, yet for some reason her Portuguese heritage was really on
display now. Nik looked up and gave me the quickest and briefest of smiles of
smiles. Sometimes, we would taunt one another, rubbing our hands over our
breasts slowly, that was hell!
But the hell that was searing thru my brain and body now was something
different, I think I was still feeling so raw from the conversation back at our
lockers. We had been interrupted and I still had so many things I wanted to say
to her, she's looking over at me again and we smile at each other. I watch her
eyes sweep up and down and it feels wonderful to have her look at me like that,
her expression telling me she wants me so bad.
"Hey sexy!" *POP*
"AHH!" I shrieked and reached around to cover my stinging backside. "What the
hell!" I blurted out, Dana had just come wheeling around the corner and slapped
me on the ass, hard, she was now standing in the shower to my right.
"Shit you scared me." I took a deep breath and started to rub my left butt
cheek, "that really stung!" I complained.
"Good." She smiled, "Can I do it again?"
"Hell no." I said.
"Hey super sexy! Damn you are looking HOT!" Dana called over to Nikki.
"Hey yourself." Nikki smiled and blushed.
Dana was an out-and-out lesbian, she had her hair cut really short, kind of
spiky, and had that masculine air about her, she even walked like a guy. She is
a combination of what I call pretty and handsome, easy on the eyes overall, also
she was always slapping me on the ass which annoyed me at first, not because I
was totally offended but because she did it ALL THE DAMN TIME! Walks past me in
the locker room POP! On the Field POP! "Get away from me!" I used to say, but
Dana was like "That beautiful ass just begs for a slap!"
Dana got very 'forward' when she was drinking, coming up to me and saying things
like, "If I didn't have a girlfriend I would take you to my bed tonight and
every night!" She also would hit on Nikki all the time, but it was different,
she would always hug Nikki and bump into her, she wasn't as physically
aggressive with Nik as she was with me for some reason.
"Hey, you and Nikki want to come over tonight and eat dinner? Sam and I are
going to order in some Chinese, we could all hang out, chill and just bullshit?
What do you say?" Dana looked over at me and then Nikki, then back to me.
I looked at Nik and shrugged, "Yeah, that sounds good, Nik?" I looked over at
her.
"Okay, what time?" Nik added.
"Six'ish" Dana said and flipped off the shower, "See you guys then." And
strutted out of the shower still dripping wet. "Gheesh, if you two take any
longer you'll shrivel up." She called out right as she turned the corner.
I smiled and quickly finished up, leaning over to scrub my forever grass
stained knees. I heard Nikki's shower shut off and she was reaching for her
towel now, I froze watching the last cascade of water as it rolled off her back
and over her perfectly round, firm ass. It was an ass that flexed with every
movement and step, crap her body was so incredibly fit and toned. (I can't
believe I am looking at another girl and having these thoughts, but after awhile
I stopped fighting it and became so much happier!)
Nik gave me a warm smile as I was now reaching to shut off my own water, she was
wrapping the towel around her body by now, but my heart had started to pound
harder with every beat as I reached for my own towel, quickly I wrapped it
around my torso. 'So close now' I thought as she walked toward the exit, but she
hesitated for a few seconds and gave me this bashful smile and look, tilting her
head down a little. I had to trust my instincts and prayed I was right in my
impulsiveness as I reached over and grabbed her right wrist, Nik didn't resist
in the slightest and what a relief, 'UH OH!' I thought and turned my head to
sneeze.
"Sorry." I chuckled, Nikki laughed and took the initiative this time! She
wrapped her arms around my neck, we both knew that I sometimes sneezed when I
get excited. Nikki wasted no time and tilted her head off to the right and I
mirrored her move, without hesitation we were in a deep kiss and it was
wonderful, raw, and emotional. Not to mention highly erotic to be kissing after
a hot shower, still dripping wet only the cotton towels separating our nude
bodies. And just like that, after a few weeks of doubt, anxiety and staying away
from one another, we were both instantly in one another's arms again and exactly
on the same page. I have a powerful attraction for Dale, but you have to
understand that my attraction to Nikki is many times more potent, that's why she
is in my arms now and not Dale. It lasted only a minute as we got ourselves
under control, affection wise that is, Nikki surprised me as she lost her
composure and let out a quick sob, quickly lowering her head onto my shoulder, I
simply stroked her hair and whispered "Everything is going to be okay." Even if
I didn't know that for sure, but I was telling myself to be the strong one for
Nik now, that she had been such a pillar of strength for me, always trying to
guide the two of us in the past, looking for the philosophical and spiritual
approach to things. I had come to rely on that so much, but I could tell it was
my turn to be strong for her, and me.
**********
"You think Dana has an ulterior motive?" I asked as I drove us over there to her
apartment.
"Probably, but we'll see." Nikki was nervously adjusting her skirt and top,
flipping down the passenger side mirror to check her hair a few times.
"You look beautiful." I smiled over at her.
"Thank you, so do you." Nik sighed and reached over to rub my thigh.
"But I'm not going to sit around and be lectured about being 'openly gay or
bisexual' by some pot head." I suddenly spouted out loud.
"I don't think she will do that, besides, she's been thru everything you and are
getting ready to go thru." Nikki sighed nervously.
Nik was right, we had no clue what we were doing and we had never discussed our
feelings with anyone, ever! Yet we both knew Dana just wanted to be supportive
as we struggled thru something she and Sam had already been thru a couple of
years ago. And yes, Dana is a pot head but don't let that fool you, she has an
impeccable GPA and is a great Soccer player.
"WOW!" Was the first thing Dana blurted out when she opened the door, "You two
are a couple of knock outs!" Of course Nik and I had to endure Dana's usual
groping, squeezing our asses when giving each of us a hug. That's ok, that's
just Dana.
Sam (short for Samantha) was back with the Chinese as we sat around eating, both
Nikki and I had our guard up, emotionally that is, but a few drinks later
and I was starting to relax.
Dana stood up and walked over to the small cabinet opposite the couch where Nik
and I sat, it was a simple piece of furniture that housed a TV and stereo
system, she pressed a button and soon soft music was filling the room. She
turned and in what seemed like one fluid motion she was sitting down facing us,
Indian style on the floor. Her right hand reached over to a drawer and pulled
out a bag.
'Great, here we go.' I privately sighed.
"Either of you want one?" She held up the bag and that's when I started to get
all twitchy and nervous because it was a bag of skinny rolled marijuana joints,
I think.
"No way." I said sternly.
"Nope." Said Nikki.
"Do you mind if I go ahead?" Dana looked up from the floor before lighting it.
"Sure." I shrugged and looked at Nikki, Nikki just smiled and said "Fine
with me."
No it wasn't fine, I hated drugs and would normally have flipped out, the same
with Nikki, on top of that I was having to suppress my fears of the police
busting down the doors in some drug raid, with a COPS video crew plastering our
pictures all over the TV...Ahhhhh, My life is ruined!
"You okay?" Nikki whispered and gripped my right wrist.
"Huh, yeah." I smiled and brushed the sweat off my cheek.
"Oh I love this one." Dana inhaled long and deep, her body softly swaying to
to a song by Sting.
I leaned forward and lowered my head to catch some of the words, it was a
beautiful melody, "What's it called?" I asked.
Almost the same time, Nik and Dana said, "I burn for you." To which Dana
winked at Nikki and I, we were all blushing a little and then Dana passed her
joint to Sam who had taken a seat next to her on the floor.
'And your love flows through me
Though I drink at your pool
I burn for you, I burn for'
"That's nice." I said softly as I sought to remember the song for a future
purchase.
'And your love flows through me
Though an ocean soothes my head
I burn for you, I burn for'
"Help yourself to some more drinks." Dane pointed to the kitchen, well that
snapped me to attention and I jumped at the invitation, I needed to relax some
more and stood up, "Nik?" I looked down.
"Yeah, bring me a glass."
I sat back down and handed Nik her glass, once we had taken a few sips Dana
started talking and I go nervous, very nervous, my right hand brushed against
Nikki's left and we both instinctively wrapped our arms around one another and
clasped hands.
Dana was smiling and watching us, "What?" I asked and cocked my head
suspiciously.
"You two, that's what," Dana smirked and shook her head, "Together at last huh?"
Nikki was looking straight at Dana and Sam, giving them her wonderful smile, but
I was just looking down at my lap, adjusting my skirt nervously, feeling like
some big dork, all embarrassed and shy.
"You know," Dana started in again, "I knew you two were great friends, it was
obvious, that chemistry was there, but then again you two were dating two really
*hot* guys."
"Seems that it wasn't that much of a surprise after all, allot gossip was going
around for some time before this." Nikki said, which prompted me to look up.
"Yeah, true enough, but I guess I wanted to discard it as nothing more then idle
gossip." Dana shrugged, "But now, here you two are."
"Here we are." I say softly, more to myself then aloud.
There were no great revelations and I am not sure why I thought there would be,
but as Nikki explained later, it was nice just to be able to openly talk about
our feelings for one another. Sam and Dana were wonderful, they listened and
never lectured me or Nik and we felt like we could trust them (even if Dana is a
pot head). After all, Nik and I have only had each other to talk to, and forget
about my friend Sharon, she makes a great sounding board sometimes, but she
always brought her own prejudices and agendas to the table.
I shifted the car into park and sat there for a second outside Nikki's
apartment, letting the car idle, we had not said much on the way back from
Dana's.
"Corbin" "Nikki" We both spoke almost at the same time.
"Sorry" I said, "This is so silly, I feel so awkward and shy, I don't even know
why."
"Yeah." Nikki smiled at me, but her head was lowered a little.
"Go ahead, you first." I said and twisted a thin platinum ring on my right
pinky.
"Maybe we should try going on a date?"
"I would love to go on a date with you." I said and leaned over to kiss her,
and we kissed for several more seconds. Pulling back I watched as she wet her
lips, we reluctantly said our goodbyes after a few more kisses.
"This Saturday night?" She asked me.
"You bet."
The drive back to my apartment was short but uneasy, I teetered between joy and
fear, I had just said yes to a date, a date with Nikki, ANOTHER GIRL! HOLY SHIT!
'You big dummy' my subconscious scolded me, 'you were getting ready to ask her
out, so what's the problem?'
**********
Things seemed to be improving overall, life seemed to be calming down for me. I
had started to get myself oriented for graduation and making that big
transition from College to Work life. But I let my guard down and didn't see
the setup, a setup that came from someone close to me. Sharon invited
me to a sorority conference/meeting/whatever, I wasn't in a sorority but
she asked me to come along just to hang out and I thought nothing of it,
seemed innocent enough and I am sure it would have a high entertainment
value.
Well holy shit! It seemed like this was THE gathering of sorority girl's, but
the whole event had a somewhat tense overtone to the evening. I came
attired in my typical fashion, flip flops, tee shirt....you know the drill
folks.
So I'm next to Sharon, just relaxing in my chair scoping out this massive
gathering, trying to figure out what all this is about. And now I get the
feeling like my presence is causing a bit of a stir amongst some of the
girls, but so much gossipy crap was going on I thought I was just reading
too much into it.
"What's this all about Sharon?" I lean over to my left trying to get her
attention, but her damn mouth is moving a hundred miles an hour. So I
have to do some detective work on my own and go to stand up, well that sure gets
Sharon's attention because she is grabbing my left arm pulling me back down,
"Where are you going?" She asks.
"Walk around, looks like I saw a table of food over there." I say.
"No...please just stay right here okay. Please, just wait till I'm done." She
grips my left forearm tight.
"Okay, okay." I groan and sit back down. She smiles and pats me on the
back, rubbing and scratching my shoulders with her fingernails, god I love
that...that is the best feeling. Sends soothing tingles up and down my
spine. But damn, my tummy is growling as I think about that food, I am actually
pretty relaxed, Nikki and I had our first official date the previous weekend and
we figured that the best way to proceed was to do things we both liked, going to
the movies, the bookstore and so on. I smiled to myself thinking that it seemed
like we were just some normal couple, 'Ha!' my inner voice mocked, 'Nothing
normal about you.' Shut the hell up I told myself. :) What can I say, I've got
problems.
So the meeting gets called to order as several reps from each of the sororities
step up, Sharon included, addressing all of the gathered women. Well,
seems that this is the moment of truth now because the issue at hand is
about to be discussed. Well, to sum things up, this is apparently a powwow
of sorts, an attempt at making piece amongst the tribes of girl's.
Apparently, a war of words, threats, and even some minor fights have
escalated over the past few months, so now my radar goes on full alert
because some of the girl's get into some pretty heated verbal exchanges.
Cooler heads prevail and wouldn't you know it, allot of the accusations are
being directed at Sharon, big surprise there. You see, when Sharon stabs
someone in the back it's not with a knife...no, Sharon does it with a big
stinking, rusty chainsaw and drives it in deep. Still, none of this explains
why I am here as I'm looking around, trying to take in all the talking and
figure out who is friends with whom and who has a bone to pick. And why
do I keep getting these odd looks from some of the girl's? Oh shit! I've
decked a few of these girl's too so I'm not getting friendly looks
either, OH fudge!
I take a deep breath and lean back in my chair doing another glance
around. I had just finished scanning the room when my head paused, I
was now looking to my right and this girl is looking me dead on. She's not
gossiping, finger pointing or any of that, she's just looking at me and
slowly smiles, not a full blown smile but just a slight one. It had a warm
quality to it so I kind of smiled back like a goof ball, cause it seems
friendly enough. I don't recognize her, but she's kind of big, not fat but
just big and tall, looks pretty damn athletic, but she also looks new...like
new to the school. Hmmm, I can't make heads or tails of any of this, well
actually come to think of it, now that word was spreading that Nikki and I went
on a date, allot of the lesbians on campus had zeroed in on Nik and I, and then
I got the creeps, is this girl hitting on me?
Well, turns out some resolution is reached because Sharon is all smiles as
she makes her way back, but I can tell she has allot on her mind. She is
such a little schemer.
"Sharon, what the hell is this..."
"SHHHH!" She hushes me and leans in close, "Please, I'll explain when we
get back to the apartment." But I'm getting irritated now 'cause I feel like I
am being used for something and I don't like it.
**********
"I know your mad." Sharon says and is stroking my back and arms, trying
to hopefully calm my rising tide of emotions. I can't believe my ears as I
sit in my room listening to her tell me this stupid plan she had hatched.
"I don't appreciate any of what you did Sharon." I nervously massage my
temples and cheeks, something I do when I'm very agitated. My right leg
bounces up and down on the ball of my foot quickly, another sure sign I
was getting pissed.
"I'm sorry, but I needed your help." She continues to plead.
"Help! Help Sharon?!" I snap and bolt from the chair, pushing her hands off
me as I pace the room, "What fucking help! You call that helping! Who did
that help? 'Cause sure as shit didn't help me! I don't want any problems
Sharon, don't' drag me into your problems! My life is finally feeling a little
settled!"
"I know, I know you don't want any trouble baby." Sharon whispered and
was all over me, trying to calm me down, massaging my back and neck.
That's my weak spot, a back and neck massage and she knows how to
give one too, but those damn fingernails of hers, she'll run them up my
back and arms....okay...wait...I'm fucking pissed at her right now!
"I'm sorry." She kept repeating, "But if I had asked for your help, you
would have said 'no'."
"Your damn right!" I groaned. So the cause of my anger was that Sharon
had used me as a ringer, the heavy, an ace to be played, all I had to do
was just sit and be quiet, everyone there would just assume I was taking
sides with Sharon and her sorority. Sharon had planed this days in advance, her
innocent invitation wasn't so innocent and put me right me right in the middle
of an ongoing rift amongst several groups of girls.
"I'm not involved in any of this Sharon, I'm not attending any more of your
functions, that was very underhanded what you did luring me there under
false pretenses." I spun around and jabbed my finger into the tip of her
nose.
"I know, it was awful of me I'm sorry please forgive me..." and she
starts to cry, clutching and hugging me. Oh good grief, here we go with the
sobs and tears as I have to listen to her poor-pitiful-me story.
"Yeah Sharon, I can forgive you, but your really hurting how much I can trust
you." I said and hugged her back.
"I know, I'll make it up to you." She sure tried to make it up to me all right,
kissing my ass for the next several days, waiting on me hand and foot.
*********
What does it take to have a relaxing week? Hell, I'd take a relaxing day!
And that's just what I have planned. A few days later I'm in the women's
shower after some heavy lifting, and I'm feeling really good to, that
pumped feeling where I got my heart racing and sweat oozing from every
pore. So I take a quick shower to rinse off and put my bathing suit on,
because now I'm looking forward to getting into that Jacuzzi and letting
those jets workout some of the tension from my body. Oh boy...here I
come! Like some giddy school girl I have a big grin on my face as I set my
towel down and slip my left, then right, leg in, easing myself into the hot
bubbling water.
"Ohhh...ahhhh...." I just grin from ear to ear as I settle down and I'm
alone too, even better. I prop the towel under my head as I lay it back and
stretch my arms out along the edge. I close my eyes and just tune all my
troubles out, the sizzling bubbles have this calming effect as I sit and can
feel everything just melting away, the only thing that would top things off
would be to have Nikki here next to me, but she was busy studying.
'Huh?' my head jerks up cause I sense someone else was suddenly
stepping into the Jacuzzi with me, I was kind of groggy and blinked a few
times as I look up and this girl is looking down at me, dressed in a dark
blue one piece suite...holy fuck...it's that girl....that girl from the meeting,
the big one that was looking at me, the one that casually smiled. Like
she's doing right now. She has one leg in the tub already and pauses when
she sees me look up at her.
"Do you mind if I join you?" She asks in a polite tone.
"No, not at all." I say, actually I do mind, I was resting. So I try and give
the girl a hint, I lay my head back and close my eyes.
"You were at that meeting the other night, were you not?" She asks.
Just great, she wants to have a conversation with me now? So I slowly pull
my head up and blink a few times, my right hand brushes some sweat
from my eyelids as I study the girl, I've never really gotten a good look at
her and now she's only a few feet from me. She's bobbing up and down a
little bit, her chin touching the swirling water as she simply stares at me.
She's got wavy, brown hair down to about the middle of her neck. I don't
know how I would classify her looks, she's got that unusual shape to her
face that is almost masculine...handsome even? Her complexion is light
and her eyes are dark brown. So there you have it, somewhat square jaw
line, strong chin but a nice perfect, clean smile that compliments her face.
Her nose is straight but performs a slight bend when she fully smiles, and I
wonder if it's been broken before.
"I was there." I say and pull my arms back into the water from where I
had them resting on the edge of the Jacuzzi, I get the feeling she is sizing
me up. Actually, we're sizing each other up.
"But your not in a sorority." She responds and the left corner of her mouth
slightly curls into a smile.
"No, are you?" I ask.
"Yep. So I was just curious, why you were there, because it was a member's only
function. Sharon upset allot of people bringing you along."
"I'm sorry, your name was?" I tense up a little, getting irritated with this
line of questioning, and besides I would really like to know with whom I am
talking. Well the girl actually blushes and her right hand comes up and
covers her face out of embarrassment, it was actually kind of cute.
"I'm Courtney, I transferred a couple of weeks ago from Penn State." She
sits up and leans forward to extend her right arm to shake, so I oblige her
and grasp her right hand with mine. And now I'm wondering if she knows my Ex
from High School Erik? Funny huh, small world.
"I'm Corbin." But I think she already knew that, odd how so many people I
don't know seem to know my name...very odd! AH! She's freaking
squeezing the crap out of my hand so I squeeze back but she is no slouch,
the girl has a strong arm and before I can up the pressure she let's go and
pulls away. Oh, okay so now she's just messing with me, how cute.
"To answer your question, I wasn't aware of a 'members only' formality or
anything else that was planned for the evening. I just tagged along at Sharon's
request." I shrugged and rolled my eyes.
"That's cool..." Courtney smiles, "...your buddy Sharon is full of allot little
mischievous tricks." And rolls her head around on her fairly strong looking
neck. I still can't figure out this girl's angle, is she just wanting to chit
chat? But I hope this doesn't turn into a Sharon-bashing speech, I don't like
people talking bad about Sharon, I'm allowed to, but no one else :)
"I bet she's not the only one." I quip and can feel myself getting irritable.
"Yeah, but nobody's in her league." Courtney gives me this hard stare and
that's when I decide I've had enough of this pointless banter and go to stand
up. My sudden movement seems to startle Courtney some as she gets this
perplexed, worried look on her face. My right hand grabs the railing to my right
to steady myself as my left reaches for my towel when I hear.
"Please stay." She says and slowly sits up, her face breaks out into this big
smile.
"Why?" I ask in a pretty firm voice and figure I need to make a decision
quick cause I don't like having this girl eyeing me like she is. She's not
giving me any kind of sexual look, but she's studying me, looking at my
arms, legs and over all physique...like she is analyzing me, assessing me.
So I decide to get a little mouthy with her as I place my left hand on my
hips, right where the cut of the suit rests over my hips, "Are you getting a
good look?"
"What?" She suddenly looks up at my face.
"Are you done checking me out, would you like for me to pose or turn
around so you can see the back of me?" I shrug in a very nonchalant
manner.
"Don't get defensive Corbin, please sit down for a minute." Courtney waves
her hand to my former resting place.
"On one condition." I groan.
"What's that?" Courtney looks up, putting on this innocent act.
"You tell me what this is all about?" I demand, and she simply nods 'Yes',
to which I slowly settle back into the water, still not convinced she's going
to be forth coming, but want to hear her out anyway.
"Yes, I admit, I was looking at you." Courtney pipes up as I adjust myself
back into the water, but I'm not relaxed anymore, "Your in awesome
shape, but I'm not here to talk about that..."
"Good." I snap.
"I'm here..." Courtney sighs and begins to slide around the circular Jacuzzi
towards where I am sitting, "...because of why you were at that meeting."
"I told you why..." my voice with a hint of anger as I watch her creep
closer to me, I've got my arms and legs all folded up close to my body.
Gheesh, I'm nervous, and shaking a little which is odd.
"Yeah, I know you told me why and I believe you, but now I need to tell
you something." She says and still maintains this incredibly calm exterior,
a real poker-face expert. Damn, this girl is so incredibly smooth and cool it's
really unnerving me.
"Okay...tell me...." My voice is quaking a little as I'm not sounding so sure
of myself and now she pauses, still seated, but like only a couple of feet
from me, this is the closest we've ever been to one another and Courtney
looks me dead in the eyes.
"I was there for the same reason." She says softly and gives me this faint
grin, nothing condescending, kind of sincere even.
"For the sorority, right?" I state.
"As a Sorority member I was there because I wanted to support my
Sisters." Courtney turns towards me now as I watch her left elbow raise
and prop up on the edge of the Jacuzzi. "Now, the secondary reason has to
do with Sharon..."
"Wait a second..." I jump in.
"Don't interrupt, I'm almost finished." Courtney gives me the first real hard
glare of our entire, thus far civil conversation. And I admit, I was a tad
intimidated cause up close she is a big, strong looking girl and while I was
more cut, she was close to my equal in muscle mass. One strong piece of evidence
was that arm she had up on the edge of the jacuzzi.
"If Sharon messes with our Sorority again, I'm going to put the screws to
that bitch anyway I see fit. We are fed up with her bullshit." Courtney says
in a flat, a-matter-of-fact manner. So my heart is pounding in my chest
and I'm sweating profusely now cause I'm totally confused about all of this.
"Now, you are Sharon's buddy..." Courtney suddenly smile "...and I expect that
you would do anything within your power to help Sharon, that is, if you
thought she needed your help right?"
"Right." I look at her with my own hard, cold expression. Courtney's eyes
drift from my own and seem to look down at the bubbling water that
surrounds us before glancing back at me.
"Even though you know Sharon is in the wrong?" Courtney let's out a deep
sigh and I have to admit, I really didn't know at that point, would I stick up
for Sharon is she pulled something underhanded? How many times can I
defend someone (Sharon) who has exhibited an almost compulsive
disorder in her acquisition for power and control at any cost. "So look
Corbin..." Courtney gives me a really sweet smile "...don't worry, I'm not going
to make a pass at you, but I do like you as a person. I didn't expect to like
you and I didn't want to, but you seem decent enough, however...if Sharon pulls
one more stunt and you decided to take her side, I will kick your ass also." She
smiles and can you believe it, I just fucking nod my head 'Yes', like some
idiot, but I'm kind of freaked out and I don't' know why. My face looks straight
ahead and my mind is off spinning in a million directions, I'm thinking I can't
wait to get out of College and leave all this crap behind me. Slowly she stands
up and now she seems like this huge giant towering over me as I remain sitting
in the Jacuzzi. I must admit, she had an intimidating physique....her thighs,
calves and....well I think you get my point, I admire beautiful strong bodies on
both men and women and Courtney was not only strong looking but she carried
herself like she knew she was.
"Fuck" I moan quietly when I hear Courtney leave the pool area as I
remain sitting, my heart rate slowly starts settle down into a normal pace.
'I need to talk to Sharon, for her sake as well as my own.' I'm thinking to
myself, I also felt pretty humbled by Courtney at that very moment and
had a great deal of self doubt creeping into my brain. In one short
conversation I no longer felt like top-girl in the school, Courtney had just
seen to that, all without using any force...now that's impressive...maybe
my state of mind was a contributing factor, all the other stress in my life
might have contributed.
I guess the truth was I really didn't want to fight, I never went looking
for a fight, I don't think I ever really did. But anyway, I felt like I could
actually do something good here, to talk with Sharon and maybe get her to
chill for the next few weeks. God, I hope she listens to me, otherwise I just
might beat Courtney to the punch (literally) and have to knock some sense
into Sharon.
**********
"Only God says jump
So I set the time
'Cause if he ever saw it
It was through these eyes of mine
And if he ever suffered
it was me who did his crying"