College 18
By Corbin
How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman.

**********

Do I have any regrets? No!
 
What the hell am I talking about? I really don't know.

Just kidding, the answer is 'Competing at higher levels', be it 
fitness/bodybuilding/martial arts, and believe you me, I've faced an onslaught 
of pressure over the years to do all of the above. I believe it all comes down 
to priorities; I would rather do other things with my time then travel to 
various competitions and such. I think my mindset at the gym and martial arts 
school speaks for itself: LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE! Just because you are also a 
female/male fitness nut does not mean we are automatically buddies and members 
of some exclusive club. 
 
NO I don't need you to spot me!
 
NO I don't need you babbling words of encouragement into my ear so I can do one 
more rep!
 
NO I don't want to list what my workout routine is on a weekly basis!
 
NO I don't want to tell you what vitamins I prefer!
 
NO I don't want to enter a competition!
 
NO I don't want you to sponsor me!
 
NO I won't endorse your products! NOR pose in front of a camera while working 
out (Okay, that's a partial lie, I did one exercise spread/advertisement but 
you'll have to find it on your own and that's all the clues I'm going to give 
away)  NOR will I wear a freaking itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny bikini to a photo 
shoot! 'Oh you don't like the full back bottoms we are providing? Here, wear a 
thong.' NO, YOU WEAR THE THONG MR. CAMERAMAN...then again, I'll pass, I can live 
without seeing him in one of those.
 
(OH WOW...I LOVE THIS SONG!! 'Hanging by a moment' by Lifehouse, it just came 
on the radio...sorry...anyway as I was saying.)
 
YES I am dating someone! NO I still will NOT consider going out with you, I JUST 
TOLD YOU I AM SERIOUSLY INVOVLED WITH SOMEONE!
 
I am going to get a tee shirt printed up with the above so I don't have to 
Repeat myself.  Actually, it's not a problem anymore, and that's the way I like 
It. Oh and then you have the male-ego maniacs who can't EVER take a hint and 
continue to talk to me even if I have headphones on, not even looking at them as 
they talk to me.
 
I know allot of women who are determined to prove something, you know, kick 
ass and take names, all that junk. Well, more power to ya! Good luck!
 
Me? I do things at my own pace and am content ruling my little corner of this 
universe :)
 
**********
 
Sharon gave me another hug and then stood up, "Well, I'm still worried about 
you." oh shit I'm not out of the woods yet, here comes another lecture.
 
"What?" I remained sitting looking up curiously, unable to fathom what 
Sharon was getting ready to drop on me now. Oh I had many suspicions, but 
playing dumb was my first choice, that and I am good at it :)
 
"Well for starters, look at you!" Sharon waved her right hand in my direction.
 
"What?" I sneered, "What nit-picky thing now?" I really hated it when Sharon 
would go on a tangent about how I dressed.
 
"Fucking look at you, you look like some hippie, granola mess! Your hair is a 
mess, it's too long! And what's with the oversized tee shirts and everyday you 
wear the same damn crappy worn out sweat pants or cargo shorts!"

"They're comfortable!" I reply quickly.

"And those flip flops, holy shit, those nasty things are ready to walk away on 
their own!" Sharon continued her critique, "What is going on! Why are you 
letting your appearance go?"

I look down at my flip flops and wiggle my toes a little, that makes me smile, I 
look back up at Sharon, "Dale doesn't seem mind." I replied with another 
satisfied smirk. "But, get to your point already." I sighed.
 
"My point..." Sharon said, becoming more serious, "...If you would spend just a 
fraction of time away from the gym and focus on shopping, a trip to the beauty 
salon once in awhile it would be nice."

I looked down at my arms and raised my left one out into the air, rotating to 
examine my forearm and bicep. I did a quick glance up at Sharon's body, 
but I see what she meant, there was no comparison, my physique was much more 
defined, and muscular. Something I'm proud of, so I just smiled and lowered my 
arm, "I guess I'm just a *natural* beauty (emphasizing the word natural) and 
don't need all that fluffing." I said and cracked a wiseass smile. 

Sharon's nice lips tensed and got thin as her face made a pained expression, she 
hates it when I pull the 'natural' beauty thing, and the way I would flick my 
blonde hair over my shoulders, which I did right after my comment.

"Ass!" Sharon growled at me, "Don't rub it in, and by the way, I look great 
without makeup and my hair all done up, so don't think you are the only hot 
stuff just walking around all natural, I enjoy dressing up and wearing some 
makeup!"

"Anything else?" I moan, shaking my head.

"Yeah, I hear all these rumors, like stuff going on between you and Nikki."
 
"Will you leave that alone already, one time you walk in and she's giving me a 
massage." I just rolled my eyes.
 
"I'm not talking about that crap! I'm talking about a reliable source of mine 
that saw you two lip-locked in a parking lot one night." Sharon knelt down in 
front of me, her pretty face tense with concern as her hands gripped my knees, 
"Corbin, baby, what is that all about? Is it true? Please tell me your not 
involved with her romantically."

My heart was pounding frantically, but I fought to remain seated and calm, my 
jaw was clenching as my knees wanted to spastically bounce on the balls of my 
feet. I was spastically looking around and trying to asses everything that was 
crashing down around me. Suddenly everything took on a whole other meaning to 
hear that people had seen me and Nikki being physical with one another, and 
suddenly my head was spinning. My privacy was being invaded, out in the open for 
people to secretly manipulate and gossip, I felt nauseous.

"Sharon," I said, every muscle tensed to remain seated and calm, "Nikki and I 
are close friends, that's it."

"I know you," Sharon said and slowly stood up, "and I see how you're acting AND 
don't you think Dale will freak out if he knew you were fooling around with 
Nikki like that?" Sharon continued.
 
"Oh god." I moaned and leaned forward, placing my head into my palms, it's all 
coming out in the open!

"...did you also know that Dale is on the verge of hearing that something is 
going on with you and Shelton?" Sharon said in a bit more quiet tone.
 
"WHAT!" Now that did it, I went from sitting to standing in less then a second, 
my face and eyes burning into Sharon's. She took a step back, probably fearful I 
was about to pound her to dust. "Who is saying those lies!" My left hand grabbed 
her shoulder when I didn't get an immediate response. "Damn it! Talk to me!" I 
actually shook her shoulder back and forth.
 
"WATCH THE DRESS!" Sharon huffed and pushed on my forearms, "Stop grabbing me! 
My god, do you know how much this dress costs?" Sharon quickly surveyed her 
straps and made a few adjustments. "You think everyone out there is just all 
wonderfully supportive of you two? Hell no, allot of guys and girls would LOVE 
IT if you two broke up." Sharon said as she brushed some lint off the front, but 
quickly looked back up, "Allot of guys would just love for you to be back in the 
single scene again."
 
"The single scene?" I made an awful tasting expression, "Since when was I ever 
on the single scene, how nasty! Well that's not going to happen!" I snapped, 
"Why are you just telling me about this now?" I waved my arms frantically, "And 
Shelton? Oh please...we're just friends! Hell, not even friends but 
acquaintances!" I made a pained, confused expression.
 
"You two had lunch together last week?" Sharon raised an eyebrow suspiciously.
 
"We were at the same damn Deli Sharon! At the same time! And we decided to 
sit down and chat. YES I know he likes me but we are just friends...oh my god, I 
mean...What in the world! This is so stupid!" I started to pace around the room 
as my hands roamed all over my head and stomach with nervous energy.
 
"Now do you see Corbin?" Sharon folded her arms across her chest.
 
"No I don't see Sharon, screw them...I don't care, let them talk all they want, 
it wont change anything." I sighed and shook my head in disbelief.
 
"Oh you're so right it won't change a thing." Sharon, ever the perfectionist, 
adjusted the straps over her shoulders again as I surveyed the hint of cleavage 
that rose up from the front, low swooping curve of her outfit and she made 
another adjustment, "Gossip never infiltrates relationships and causes issues."
 
"Anything else I need to know?" I turned around more resolute now, trying to put 
on my best game face, only this was no game, I felt like my private life was 
unraveling.
 
"Oh, yeah, one more thing...this..." Sharon took two steps forward and her left 
hand swooped around, smacking my right shoulder, echoing off the mostly bare 
walls with a loud *POP*.
 
"OW! Hey, what the hell?" I jerked my shoulder back, my left hand flew out and 
pushed Sharon's right shoulder causing my friend to retreat two steps. 'It 
really didn't hurt, just the shock of it.'
 
"That's for fighting!" Sharon said with a disapproving shake of her head and 
wagged her left finger at me like some mother or school teacher scolding a 
child.
 
"What?" My eyebrows pinched together, again in confusion.
 
"And I told you watch the dress! I swear if you hurt one fiber on this dress I 
will kick your ass for sure," Sharon rolled her shoulders, "...and I'll do it in 
my high heels too, how'd you like that? Get your ass kicked by a chick in high 
heels?" Sharon raised her eyebrows with that taunting cocky look of hers. Where 
does Sharon come up with this dialogue! 
 
But anyway, I had to fight back a full blown smile at Sharon's snappy, sarcastic 
comeback, "Fighting Sharon? What fighting? What are you..." I shook my head but 
acting was not my best ability and it showed. 

"On the soccer field genius, and you knocked some girl down in a bar, then 
threatening someone in the parking lot..."
 
"Hey, they started it!" I spat right back defensively, "If you think I'm backing 
down, well never again Sharon." I jabbed my left finger at the small empty 
space, which separated us.
 
"Oh yeah, well no more!" Sharon stepped in, "I don't want you getting into 
anymore fights!"

"What do you mean no more?" I complained. (Sharon knew I could take care of 
myself, but as I already indicated, she had developed the mothering attitude 
toward me. I did have this naive outlook on things and didn't take into account 
all the social consequences of my actions at times. I would just blow my top and 
let the pieces fall where they may.)

"I'm just standing up for myself." I shrugged.
 
Sharon gave me this sympathetic look and stepped in, "Just tell me what's going 
on will you? I know I've been a lousy friend lately but can you at least come 
talk to me? I didn't know Mora was being such a pain in you ass Corbin. You seem 
so tense, and hostile lately." Sharon reached over and soothingly caressed my 
arms and shoulders.
 
Damn, Sharon was right, I was an emotional mess, I felt tense all day long. No 
amount of exercise seemed to purge the confusing issues I was dealing with. 
Secretly I wanted to dump Dale, Sharon and Nikki and just focus on lifting 
weights and studying for exams and go back into my shell of existence. But you 
know what, that also sounds boring and pathetic to some degree.
 
"I'm trying to help, I don't know what else to do!" Sharon replied as her 
own composure started to fall apart and her cheeks trembled and her eyes 
watered.
 
"You call this helping?" I sighed with a roll of the eyes, "Coming in here and 
yelling at me?"
 
I watched Sharon take a deep breath and her whole being seemed to try and relax, 
when she spoke again she had a more calming, soft tone, "Look, I'm sorry for 
yelling at you and giving you a hard time," Sharon's total demeanor changed, her 
hands continued to gently rubbed my shoulders and neck, "Don't take your 
frustrations out on other people Corbin, your going to get into trouble. If 
you're upset, come to me and take it out on me so we can talk about it, I want 
to help you. But you keep shutting me out, not telling me what's going on or 
bothering you." Sharon kept trying to give me a hug now, only to have her 
efforts repeatedly rebuffed as I would turn away and keep pacing, "You're going 
to get into some real trouble if you start anymore fights...and I know you can 
take care of yourself, I'm talking about this getting out of control and you 
getting into some kind of Academic trouble because of it. You're too damn smart 
to continue on this track."

"You want to know what's bothering me?" I sighed and finally let Sharon's hands 
slip around my shoulders, it was so silly, but I really had only one big anxiety 
on my mind right now.
 
"Of course I want to know." Sharon whispered and kissed me on the cheek. Now 
don't read anything into that, Sharon and I have always had an affectionate 
friendship.
 
"And you can't laugh." I lowered my head and sighed into the comfort of my 
friend's warm neck.
 
"Just tell me, whatever it is..." Sharon stroked the back of my head soothingly.
 
"I don't have anything to wear to the party next weekend."
 
"What?" Sharon stopped patting my back and shoulders and leaned away.

"I don't have a dress and I don't know well..." I rolled my eyes as I fought to 
admit the truth.
 
"Hey I understand, don't say another word." Sharon beamed, she loved this, she 
loved shopping and this was her dream moment. She always wanted to peel away all 
the athletic clothes, Target, and GAP crap and do some real dressing up on me.
 
"This is going to be so GREAT!" Sharon was almost bouncing on her toes as 
she hugged me again and again enthusiastically. But I suddenly began to have an 
anxiety attack as I nervously wondered what Sharon's wheeling-dealing mind might 
have in store for me. 

'I should have asked Nikki.' I thought, but knew this little escapade would help 
bring Sharon and I closer.
 
(Look, all you men have to do is find a clean pair of underwear, but not us. You 
have NO IDEA the pressures we are under. Besides, I think it was a combination 
of things that just swelled up inside of me. I mean, I felt really pathetic not 
having the confidence to pick something out on my own. But honestly, for the 
first time I wanted to look nice, radiantly beautiful and glamorous, no more 
dressing down, well, at least for this upcoming event.)
 
"You're beautiful." Sharon said and held her breath, "Look at you, your tan, in 
shape, in fucking phenomenal shape..." Sharon leaned back starring down at my 
arms, chest and shoulders, "...you just radiate confidence, you just wait!" 
 
I nervously glanced away, "Thanks Sharon".
 
Well isn't this dandy!


  
18_College