College 12
By Corbin
How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman.

**********
 
I HAVE NO FREAKING CLUE WHAT I AM DOING!

I make grammar mistakes, spelling mistakes, I hate computers.

This Sucks! 

But I enjoy sharing all of this, besides the walk down memory lane is great. 
(Sometimes)

Anyway, I'm listening to the Rolling Stones as I type this, not their new 
stuff, the classical stuff.
 
Speaking of Music, I like all music that has a good beat to it, except your 
typical country cowshit boot-kicking riding-on-the-range bullshit. I 
mean really now, all those country music songs sound the fucking 
same. Guys singing about what!!? I'll tell you what, their woman 
left them, their horse has gone lame and their dog died WHAA WHAAA Cry 
me a river. And why do those guys wear those big hats? Cause their bald 
underneath, just suck it up and face facts, Rogaine didn't work for you so 
now you plop a giant hat on your head to cover of your baldness you are 
fooling NO ONE!!
 
So, I guess I should clarify my previous statement; other then Country, I listen 
to Hip-Hop, R&B, Classical, Metal, Alternative. Like I said the whole spectrum 
(Except country): Godsmack, POD, System of a Down, No Doubt, Mary J. 
Blige, Chili Peppers, Norah Jones, Josh Groban, Evanescence, Dido, Joss 
Stone, U2 just to name a few.  
 
I thought my friend Nikki would kill me when I threw out her Justin 
Timberlake CD, although I claimed I lost it. I think she knew I threw it out 
when I told her I borrowed it and then said I lost it, only to refuse and buy 
her a replacement. Timberlake PUUHHLLEASE, give me a break, what was 
she thinking, I did her a favor. I would have disowned her as a friend if I 
found a Brittany Spears or Christina CD in her pile. Those cheap-breast-
implanted no talent whores, I don't know what you guys see in them. Well 
other then your dicks I suppose. I guess I just answered my own question, yuck 
gross! How can you guys dream of sleeping with those girls and their revolving 
man-doors.
  
So, now that I have gotten all of the angst of my system for today...

**********
 
Walking into the nearly deserted gym after Christmas break, I instantly 
noticed I was not alone. Now this displeased me as it was my intention to 
head back to school a little early for some privacy and refocus on getting 
back into the 'swing of things'. The gym was not at all crowded, but two 
occupants where there; A black guy and a white guy, 'And boy do they 

seem to be in full juvenile mode', so I proceeded to warm up on the furthest end 
of the weight room. 
 
Normally, I wouldn't start with the bench press, but it was as far from the 
two clowns as I could get. However, 'Loser #1' the white guy and 'Loser 
#2' the black guy, as I affectionately referred to them, had other plans:

"Hey little lady, mind if we cut in?" Loser #1 said and smiled over at his 
buddy 'Loser #2', as he made the comment, as if they were some comedy team. I 
was totally unable to fathom why both thought the "little-lady" comment was 
worthy of a chuckle. 'And why in the hell did they come all the way over here?' 
when I had purposely selected the machine furthest away from them. 
 
'Why?' was easy to answer from a man's perspective, their 'chick radar' 
had gone off instantly when I walked in. I already had become 
the focus of much male attention on Campus, but my focus on studies and 
athletics, while keeping everyone at 'arms length' put me in the realm of 
'total snob' in most male eyes. Some guys, like the one's here in the gym 
took the 'go for broke' attitude, where they just would interject themselves 
hoping to strike up a conversation or something. The closer they got to 
me the harder it was for either guy to take their eyes off of me, or maybe my 
toned leg muscles? My arms maybe? Or a hint of cleavage from the shirt I was 
wearing? I was damn proud of my breasts! (wow, when did my ego get so big! On a 
side note, most women just immediately went to trashing me, flat out saying my 
boobs were fake because they don't sag at all or they are TOO perfectly 
proportional! HUH!!??? Whatever! Fortunately my friends on my soccer team 
adamantly defended me, having seen them up close in the showers, they are the 
real deal! Thankfully, as I've mentioned, 'lifting' has helped reduce their size 
to a 'c' cup. I could go on a tangent how I think Nikki's are the most beautiful 
set of breasts around, but I'll stop for now. Besides I'm sick of talking about 
my boobs, and sick of other people talking about them, they're just boobs for 
crying out loud! No you can't see them and no you can't touch them! Yeah, guys 
will come right out and ask that crap! How rude!).

I brought my head up off the bench just long enough to say: "One more 
set" and did something I had never done before. My temper totally flared 
and I reached back with my right arm and yanked the pin out and 
slammed it into the very bottom weight. I was so flustered I couldn't recall 
how much it was and carefully repositioned myself under the bar, 'Please 
god, please don't let me make a fool out of myself' and with that, I poured 
every bit of hate, love, disappointment, anger, resentment into the press; 
My muscles slowly flexed, like a locomotive building up speed, and then 
amazingly the bar slowly lifted, I knew I was having to put everything I 
had into it, but even with shaking arms the bar went all the way up. 
Daringly, I tried to repeat the maneuver, my heart felt like it would burst, 
but not from pumping the weight, but for this moment of exhilaration to 
maybe shut these guys down. I managed to push up a fourth time when 
my body warned me it was about to expire and I slowly...gently set the 
bar down. My little stunt apparently had some effect, as the two buffoons 
stood silent during my reps and I took a deep breath as I slowly sat up, 
my body wet with perspiration. 'Loser #1' was standing closest by the 
machine and looked dumb struck when I stood, I was now eye-to-eye with 
him, my 5'10"+ frame was imposing and I simply said, "It's all yours big 
boy." with a coy smile that obviously caught the guy a little off guard.
 
That comment was totally out of character for me and I turned around and 
stood about five feet away placing my hands on my hips to watch. 'Loser 
#1' looked down at the weights, it was the moment I had been waiting for, but 
then my eyes bugged out a little when I saw the pin was inserted on the bottom 
weight and it read: 250lbs' and I actually staggered back a couple of steps in 
disbelief. 'It's not the same as bench pressing 250lbs of free weights, but 
still...' I was impressed with myself.
 
Another smug look came over my face as it didn't look like he was going to 
be able to pull it off. 'Either he was about to make an ass of himself in 
trying to match me or admit he can't and move the pin' I quickly assessed. 
He shook his head and pulled the pin out looking over his shoulder to his 
friend, "That's got me beat."
 
"Damn girl! What kind of 'roids are you taking?" Loser #2 asked, in a tone 
that hinted a return of their prior smart-aleck attitude.
 
"It's called eating healthy and taking your vitamins, you guys might want 
to substitute that into your diet of beer and cigarettes." I just flipped the 
towel over my left shoulder and spun around on my toes, "Later guys!" I 
waved. But still, I was able to make out a few unflattering comments about 
my personality as I walked away. Even though I had on my baggy work out shorts, 
they continued to watch me walk away, didn't hinder guys from staring at my 
butt, or maybe they were infatuated with the cool ponytail I had pulled my hair 
into? 
 
For the first time since my night with Nikki several days ago, I was walking 
on cloud nine! Feeling totally exhilarated. My fast paced walk turned into a 
light jog as I was now practically running back to my dorm room with joy. Why? I 
have no clue why! I just do goofy things sometimes.
 
Back at my room I quickly started to undress, and as I pulled off my shorts and 
top I stood in front of the mirror, my white silk panties were soaked with 
perspiration as was my bra. Looking at my sweating, toned body in the mirror, it 
was the first time I can remember in a long time coming off a workout and 
feeling so incredibly proud of my body and horny! 'Oh my god' I thought 
as I eyed myself, I was actually getting turned on by everything that had 
happened in the gym and how I looked in the mirror.
 
"To hell with it." I mumbled and peeled off my sweat soaked bra and 
panties, and laid back on my bed. Slowly my left hand moved over my 
sweaty, sticky chest, stopping briefly over my hard nipples before moving 
on as my finger tips felt the rolls of muscle along my abs sending a 
warming sensation thru my vagina. Slowly I closed my eyes and tilted my 
head back, I was surprised that it took no fantasy to increase my state of 
arousal, just the simple touches I gave myself as I explored my body. Honestly, 
I was thinking of Nikki, images of what we did that night back at my house keep 
flooding back. Finally, when I felt ready, I pulled my knees up and sticky 
vaginal lips parted as my right hand moved down to hold them open as my left 
forefinger gently began to graze over the top of my clit. My chest heaved a few 
times as I sought to delay the building orgasm as my finger continued it's 
teasing, light touches. Periodically I would bring my hand back up and pinch my 
nipples, which caused my body to begin a slow convulsion on the bed. My 
first orgasm was nothing more then an intense shiver, my second elicited 
an audible moan from my throat, and I sped up the strokes and pressure 
on my clit as I allowed myself to moan until I had to roll my head over and 
bite back a scream into my pillow, my whole body beginning a squirming 
and thrashing dance on the bed. Finally, I pulled my finger away from my 
overly sensitive privates as I let the pillow case free from my jaws, my eyes 
remained closed as I rolled my head back around, gasping for air.

Totally sated (and trust me I was) only my eyes moved as I blinked, 
concentrating only on the sound of my breathing and the wonderful intensity that 
I had just experienced.

Not surprisingly I thought about Nikki, she was due back at School tomorrow and 
my reaction was a telling one, my lips formed into a broad smile and a warm glow 
spread inside my tummy. Feeling a bit daring I reached for my phone and called 
her.

"Hi love!" Nikki almost squealed on the other end of the line, "I was going to 
call you!"

"I called you first!" I teased.

"What are you doing?" Nik asked.

"Thinking of you." I sighed.

"That's nice." Nikki said back into the phone, her voice taking on that luscious 
tone that only she can accentuate.

I taunted with the idea of telling her I was naked, but passed, I was already 
blushing so many shades of red as I rolled over on my stomach, totally 
forgetting that I was still nude. I just laid there as we talked to one another, 
lost in the other's voice, each knowing that for awhile we would have to enjoy 
each other's company in private, neither of us ready to publicly commit.
 
**********
 
My run-ins with Sharon were getting less and less now, we would talk and 
have lunch, but it wasn't the same.
 
In fact I was starting to slip into a funk of sorts and made an unusual 
confession to Nikki one day;
"I think I am suffering from a case of full blown depression." I said solemnly 
as we sat outside in the Student Common Area. Nikki didn't say a word but gently 
laid her left hand on my right wrist, just letting me know she heard me and 
was there to listen. Nikki was not the kind of person to say something just 
for the sake of talking.

But in this case Nikki knew exactly what I was referring too, she was 
experiencing some of the same 'down' feelings that I was. We both were stumped 
by our new found relationship and love for one another. Yet, we each were trying 
to reconcile how to eventually 'come out' and tell our friends and family, and 
how would they all react? Not to mention Nik was seriously dating Rob, so the 
more time we spent together, the more she worried he might become suspicious. 
Not to mention she was starting to keep him more at arms length as she became 
more intimate with him.

Nikki turned a little more towards me and spoke, "Look at what you've 
accomplished since being at Duke, you excel at soccer, hell Corbin, you excel at 
all sports like no other girl I've ever seen, your academically doing excellent. 
However, I want to help you focus on all the positive accomplishments you've 
made here."
 
I smiled and looked over at Nikki, "Thanks, just hearing that helps allot. A 
little reminder, now and again, seems to help", but on the inside, a little 
deeper I could feel some type of turmoil building. As we got up to leave, Nikki 
hesitated and pulled me aside, "Look, I need to talk to you about something, but 
you have to promise me that you will not repeat what I am about to tell you, 
understand?" Nikki urgently said. I froze; the gravity of the comment caused me 
to become rooted to the cement sidewalk, "What is it?" I leaned in and asked in 
my quietest voice.
 
Nikki smiled a little when she saw the effect it was having and touched my 
left forearm reassuringly, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be dramatic. It's just 
that, I was sworn to secrecy and telling you would mean breaking a promise."
 
"Come on, come on, you're killing me here." I nervously smiled.
 
"Well, every new freshmen on the Soccer team goes through a...hmmm." 
Nikki seemed to tense and bite her lower lip while searching for the right 
words.
 
"Through what?" I leaned in some more, intensely studying her face for some 
information.
 
"A type of initiation ceremony." Nikki paused and looked into my eyes for 
some initial reaction.
 
"Why kind of initiation ceremony?" I leaned back as my eyes did in fact 
narrow with suspicion.
 
"It could be any number of things, kind of like a right-of-passage, it's very 
harmless." her voice steady and her gaze even, but she could tell I was 
getting irritated.
 
"You mean a HAZING ritual!" I face turned grave, serious and even a bit 
angry.
 
Nikki wasn't going to refute that reference, for in fact that's exactly what it 
was. "You've been in sports before Corbin, haven't you ever been thru something 
like this back in High School?"
 
"No." I said firmly.
 
"But, YOU know, what I am talking about right?" 
 
"Yes." I replied, "Look Nikki, what the hell is this all about? Could you give 
me a few details?" 
 
"You came into the season a little later then the other girls on the team. 
They've already been thru it..."
 
"Did you go thru 'it'?" I returned Nikki's hard stare.
 
"Yes" Nikki said calmly, "It's not bad at all."
 
"But it's degrading...and humiliating...right?" I raised my left eyebrow 
knowingly and Nikki just stood in silence and watched. Nikki's lips pressed 
together and closed as if to think, and then she opened her eyes when she 
was ready to respond; "Yes".
 
I appeared calm at first, I took a deep breath as if contemplating the whole 
thing and then brought my left hand up, pointing past Nikki's right shoulder 
in the direction of the Soccer field; "All I want to do is play soccer and if 
any of those idiots even lay a finger on me, things will get pretty ugly and 
they'll be the ones on the receiving end of UGLY."
 
Nikki watched me suddenly turn around and walk in the direction of my 
dorm. I knew Nikki was trailing behind me and that was okay. I flipped on 
the light switch to my room and sat down on the edge of my bed, slowly 
stretching my legs out in front as my body leaned back until my shoulders 
touched the wall.
 
Nikki sat down on Sharon's bed and silently watched and waited, "What?" 
She asked softly when I opened my eyes finally.
 
"I was just thinking..." My eyes fluttered and then fully opened, "...it would 
be nice to have your outlook on things...life...people...you never seem to get 
stressed."
 
Nikki smiled and bowed her head in thought, her long straight hair hung 
down, swaying like black rain that would never touch the ground. Nikki 
knew exactly of what I spoke of, she was deeply involved in Yoga, Martial 
Arts, and spent hours studying various meditation techniques. With a quick 
jerk upright, her head came around flipping her hair up and over her right 
shoulder, "Oh, you handle things very well Corbin, in fact, you seem to 
have your own calm, determined exterior..."
 
"Even if things are boiling over on the inside?" I smiled and leaned 
forward, quickly interjecting that comment.
 
"Things boil over for everyone on the inside, some just deal with it 
differently on the outside." Nikki smiled knowingly.
 
I raised a suspicious eyebrow. Still, it was hard for me to imagine what Nikki 
was going thru sometimes, the way she seemed to exude such calm, easy going 
charm.

**********

I watched the drops of sweat cling to my strands of hair and then after a 
few seconds break free and hit the tile floor of the women's locker room. I 
smiled and shook my head, watching several more drops of sweat splatter 
on the ground, although I wanted to change I was exhausted from practice 
and it felt wonderful. Physically pushing myself to new limits seemed the 
best way to tap into that feeling of being alive.
 
But the hushed voices of several women broke my daydreaming and I sat 
upright with a quick jolt, quickly forgetting about my pain and bruising. My 
heart began to pound without mercy, 'Oh fuck, this is it.' I watched one of 
my team mates close the door and lock it, the sound of another latching 
door came from behind and caused me to take a quick glance over my 
shoulder. The only other exit out of the women's locker room was 
effectively sealed off, several members of the team milled about with 
mischievous smiles on their faces, and it was Katie the Team Captain that 
had the most amused look on her face. My eyes darted around the room 
and found Nikki in the very back of the throng of girl's, she had a 
sympathetic look on her face, but I knew no help was to be found there, 
'Fuck, it was just last night that Nikki had warned me about this. She had to 
have known it would be tonight' I blinked several more times and slowly stood 
up.
 
"Are you a natural blonde Corbin?" Katie stepped forward and a burst of 
muffled giggles went up from the girls in front and behind her. It sent a 
chill up my spine.
 
"What? You know I am why?" I replied with a faint, but nervous smile. 
Which was true, I had taken showers with the girls before and they knew I 
was blonde, above and below deck. From behind her back, Katie pulled her 
left hand and set a box of on the end of bench. It only took a second to 
realize the contents, it was hair coloring and then she withdrew her right 
hand and set a bic razor down on the bench next to the box of hair color. 
Before I could even speak, Katie sneered, "You get a choice, you can 
either get a dye job up top and down below, OR get shaved, and I'm not 
talking about shaving your head." again some muffled giggles went up from the 
crowd.
 
"What?" I took a step back but ran into the lockers and thus out of 
maneuvering room. Six girls stood, arms folded, to my right while about 
seven closed in from my left.
 
"Now, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way, what will it be? And I 
don't mind telling you, we are anticipating doing it the hard way but we all 
like that, makes the whole experience that much more exciting."
 
My heart thundered, I couldn't believe what I was seeing and hearing and 
what was about to happen. "Come'on guys, what are you talking about?" I 
nervously rung my hands together, I had also started to twitch nervously, I 
blink fast when I get scarred. Katie just watched without mercy, in 
fact, there was not a merciful eye in the entire group. They all had a bone 
to pick with me and my standoffish personality; I was not a team 
player, but a loner although I contributed to the game and helped them 
win, yet psychologically and emotionally I was distant. Katie herself was semi 
attractive, with shoulder length dark brown hair that was naturally curly, 
more so in the warm, humid days. She was naturally olive in her skin 
complexion and stood about 5' 9". She was very athletic and had a small 
chest, but she was a girl that demanded respect; she was the senior 
person on the team, smart and fair. But now, all I could think was about 
how every bit of compassion and caring had left those eyes.
 
"What do you think we are going to do with that razor?" Katie said.
 
"I don't know." I clenched and unclenched my left fist.
 
"Yes you do, say it!" Katie taunted.
 
"Shave my legs?" I nervously replied my voice cracked with tension. Katie 
and the rest of the team laughed for the briefest of seconds, "No my dear, 
like I said, you get a choice; Pink pussy hair or no pussy hair, you've got 
five seconds to decide."
 
"What? What? Five? You must be kidding!" I babbled.
 
"Times up!" Katie smiled, "I've decided you're going to get a shave!" and a 
cheer of whistles and claps went up shaking me to my very core. 
 
'Oh my god, they are serious!' It dawned on me they were going to strip me 
and shave me.
 
"GET HER!" Katie yelled and lunged. Now, sometimes things move fast and 
sometimes things move slow, depending on where you stand. But in those 
one to two seconds that elapsed after Katie's charge I actually had time to 
reflect on something Nikki told me; 'Do not resist, that it would only make 
things go worse, much worse that the girl's in the past who resisted only 
ended up being further humiliated.'

'I just wish I wasn't so winded' I thought, because while I respected Nikki's 
opinion, I had decided that there was no fucking way I was going down 
without a fight!
 
Katie charged first; it happened so fast I don't think Katie even realized 
what was going on until after I deflected her attack and she was skidding 
face-first towards the tile floor, quickly she outstretched her hands and 
broke the fall as her arms and legs splattered in all directions. She hit the 
deck with a loud 'OUFF'. I think it unnerved her to be thrown aside like that, 
but like I said, I'm allot stronger then most girls.
 
"Get that bitch!" Katie sprang to her feet and spun around with a look of 
bewilderment, in just a few chaotic seconds I was already semi-sitting on 
one girl and had two more snared in separate head locks under my left 
and right arms respectively. The rest of the girls were prying at my arms 
and neck trying to dislodge me from the three trapped girls, who were 
screaming for help. The muscles lining my arms flexed and Katie knew that 
I was probably in panic mode, not realizing I was probably hurting them.
 
Nikki had taken a backseat to the whole affair, and what a spectacle it 
must have been...
 
"Watch it, that's my fucking leg!"
 
"Who's biting me?"
 
"She's choking me! GET HER OFF!"
 
"AHHH! That's my breast, watch it!"
 
"What the fuck, take her down!" Katie yelled.
 
"What the fuck do you think we're trying to do!" A girl yelled back. I had 
taken at least three girls out of commission already, they were rolling on the 
floor nursing their wounds. But I knew it was probably only a matter of time as 
the remaining team members organized into an all out charge, but I was 
able to break away. Standard procedure was for last years hazing victims 
to be the ones to subdue the victim this year, but so far I had discarded
them easily. Thus far that is...
 
"FUCK!" A girl yelled as her clawing fingers couldn't hold as I broke loose 
and jumped the dividing bench.
 
"You fucking bitch, I'm going to kill you." yelled Mora, the hot-blooded 
Latino of the team, as she stood nursing an elbow she just took to the side 
of the head from my escaping. 
 
"Sorry about that." I said to Mora, I was always apologetic, as my hazel 
eyes darted defensively around the room. 
 
"Your going to be so sorry bitch." Mora snapped, spit flew off her ragging 
lips, damn she seemed pissed! 
 
With a loud metal clatter, I voluntarily slammed my back into the opposing 
row of lockers to take a breather. I was free, but only for a second, my 
vision was partially obstructed by loose strands of my blonde hair, but I 
saw Katie suddenly appear to my left as she leapt up and stood on the 
bench several feet away with a smile on her face. Mora was circling in 
closer, she had this crazed look in her eyes that worried me, Mora was 
hot-tempered and I always suspected that the Latin girl never liked me.
 
"Not bad Corbin, not bad at all, but you do realize you ARE going down!" 
Katie taunted. I took a deep breath and knew that there was probably no 
way out, I was doomed, with almost ten girls closing in on me now; My 
escape was probably just luck as they did not anticipate me to struggle so 
hard. But now, many of them were smarting bruises and even a bloody 
nose and I was now anticipating the worst type of payback and scanned 
the room looking for help, from anyone, especially from Nikki. My body 
slumped against the lockers and brought my left hand up to brush aside 
some hair, 'I'm so fucked' I thought and came close to loosing it as my left 
hand trembled with anxiety. 'Loosing it' in the sense that I thought I might 
break down and cry uncontrollably, but another part of me wanted to take 
down as many girls as possible, maybe that's what scared me, the thought 
I might really hurt someone. Do I really want to hurt someone? 'Fuck them' I 
thought 'Fuck these bitches, I may go down, but the first one or two that 
get within arms length is going to be sorry.' and I steeled my mind and 
body for the inevitable.
 
*WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* a fist hammered three times on the locked 
door to the room, "Someone's coming, I think it's the coach!!" Betty's voice 
cried from outside; Betty being the designated lookout I take it.
 
"What the fuck?" Katie looked around the room. The lookout was a 
formality, as they had done everything in their power to ensure privacy 
this evening. Suddenly Katie bolted down the bench from my left to the 
right and reached down scooping up the razor and hair dye product. Based 
on her queue the other girl's started to collect themselves in a somewhat 
confusing, disorganized manner. My eyes darted around the room, still 
unsure of what was happening when her heart leapt out of my chest as the 
door to her left opened and Mrs. Kinser stepped in, looking none too happy.
 
"What's the emergency that I had to come back down here." But the 
Coach's words evaporated into silence as she took in everything around 
her. Obviously, she had just stumbled onto something.
 
"I'm sorry Mrs. Kinser, someone called you down here?" Katie stepped 
around the corner and asked innocently, but the question had horrible 
consequences if some girl had indeed ratted them out. The coach took in 
the scene one more time and her eyes focused on me briefly, I was 
standing awkwardly, my back against the lockers, looking more exhausted then 
usual. "Must be my mistake." The coach said abruptly and spun 
around, several girls parted as she walked to the door, flung it open and 
walked out. The silence was terrifying as not a person moved in the entire 
room, until Katie performed a total 180 degree turn ending up looking at 
me, "Who ever had her come down her..." She didn't have to finish the 
threat, everyone already knew the gravity of being a whistle-blower.
 
"WHO ELSE BUT HER!" Mora pointed and yelled at me.
 
"Bullshit." Nikki snapped and stepped forward, "If she knew tonight was the 
night, then why would she even show up, she could have avoided this 
whole mess if she had just left practice and went straight to her room."
 
Katie nodded her head, I seemed totally taken by surprise and if I knew 
when it was going to take place, why stick around? I surveyed the room 
and found a few admiring eyes, given the massive fight I had put up, while 
a few of the more bruised girls glared hard at me, but none more so then 
Mora.
 
"What about her?" Mora raised her right hand and unwaveringly pointed at 
me, as if I was an accused culprit, waiting for execution.
 
"Maybe some other time." Katie sighed.
 
"MAYBE?" Becky called out from in the back, in shock that I might get off 
all together, Mora cast her own surprised glare from me to Katie in 
disbelief and then back to me again.
 
"Yeah, I said maybe!" Katie snapped, "We have two big games coming up, 
and we need to focus on that, so this might just have to wait." 
 
"And as for you..." Katie's voice suddenly lowered to a more normal 
speaking tone and slowly walked over to where I stood. The attractive, 
olive-skinned girl raised her right hand up and brought the blade of the 
razor even with my chin. Watching with amusement at the way my hazel 
eyes focused on the instrument that was to be employed against me and 
noticed how I shuddered when Katie pressed it gently against my chin. 
"...until we decide what to do with you 'newbie', you're on laundry duty, got 
it?" and she tauntingly tapped the razor against my chin. It was interesting 
the way the atmosphere in the gym had become a bit somber and serious. 

The most startling revelation was how I detected an immediate division 
amongst the team members, the junior and senior girls were much more 
admiring and forgiving of me, a few going so far as to pat me on the back 
as they would walk. I smiled half-heartedly in response, although I still was 
shaking all over and slightly nauseous to my stomach. But it was the 
sophomore and freshmen girls that were determined to make sure I got 
my 'comings-up'.
 
"You've still got something coming, you snot nosed cunt!" Crissy, another 
blonde whispered in my ear as she walked by, that surprised me 
to hear as I had always gotten along with Crissy, 'Why the sudden 
hostility?' But none so threatening as Mora, the feisty girl walked right 
up to me and shoved her dirty clothes and panties into my gym bag.
"I want you to wash mine personally bitch, and don't fuck'em up." Mora 
sneered and slowly reached out, taking a single dangling piece of my 
blonde hair yanking it hard, hard and quick enough to pull it out at the 
root. I grimaced a little at the hair pull, eliciting a joyful sneer from Mora 
as she tossed the strand of hair into the air, it seemed to float for a 
second before slowly drifting down to the floor. Mora simply stepped 
around me, but not without a firm shoulder bump as she walked past. I 
staggered my feet to keep some balance and just looked down at the 
ground in frustration.
 
"You ready?" The voice suddenly appeared from behind. I jerked and 
turned around, Nikki was standing with gym bag in hand. I nodded 'yes', 
there was no way I was going to take a shower here tonight, I would take 
one back at my dorm room. "Give me a sec." and I began to go around 
cleaning up the locker room and collecting all of the girl's dirty uniforms. A 
few girls took the opportunity to fling them maliciously at my head when I 
got close enough, but I didn't say a word and swallowed my pride as I 
cleaned up. Nikki sat watching sympathetically but didn't help while there 
were still team members around, she knew the unspoken rules. I needed 
to carry this out myself.
 
During the walk out from the lockers, Nikki kept the pep-talk to a minimum 
as I seemed way to stressed by the whole event to probably even listen. 
 
"Where they serious about the shaving?" I suddenly asked, pausing at the 
entrance to my dorm.
 
"I don't think so, maybe just to scare you." Nikki shrugged casually, her 
glancing away told me that it was all as serious as a heart attack, just great!
 
"Well it worked." I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Fucking laundry duty? 
Damn, that sucks, that really sucks!" I nervously laughed, I was trying 
desperately to make light of everything, but my left leg started to spasm and 
tremble as my emotions were getting the better of me once again.
 
"Yeah." Nikki chuckled a little, "Nothing worse then having to pickup a 
bunch of dirty, smelly soccer uniforms. But don't worry about it, I'll help 
you." Nikki smiled reassuringly.

I watched Nikki's smile suddenly fad as tears began to stream down my cheeks, us 
girls don't just swallow our emotions, it feels good to let the damn burst 
sometimes. "Damn" I sighed and my left hand came up to quickly brush away the 
tears, embarrassed maybe I was letting the experience overwhelm me. Quickly 
Nikki stepped up and hugged me, embracing me for a few moments, not even saying 
a word.
 
"Thanks Nik." I sighed, "I don't know what I would do without you these 
past few weeks." I returned the hug with greater effort and for the very 
first time I questioned if anything between us would be the same, even 
something so simple as a hug now felt like something more.
 
Nikki's arms relaxed and she was pulling away from me now, "Thank you Corbin, 
for being my friend too." I could read Nikki pretty well at this point in our 
friendship, she had her wall up which meant there were so many things she wanted 
to do, verbally and physically. 'Shit,' I cursed privately, I couldn't even 
concentrate on anything right now, I was too freaked out by what happened 
several minutes ago and what was happening right now with my own internal 
emotions about my friend.
 
Nervously I brushed my hair up over my ears and swiped my key card over the card 
reader to unlock the door, "Better take a shower." It was time to put this drama 
behind me, need to focus I was telling myself.
 
"Talk to you tomorrow." Nikki smiled and turned away, it was forced, she didn't 
want to leave me and I didn't want her to go. I swallowed hard and struggled to 
pull myself together as I always do, but my eyes welled up with tears again and 
I wanted to cry, 'Fuck, get a grip Corbin.' I told myself, biting my lower lip.
 
"Nik!" 

Her name came out of my mouth all on its own, I was stunned, I was shaking all 
over, almost crying again, the thought of being alone was upsetting, no wait a 
second, it was the thought of being without Nik that was upsetting me. 

"Huh?" She paused and turned halfway toward me, she looked guarded and cautious 
and I felt a lump in my throat, 'What am I doing, what is happening?' I wondered 
but the concerns faded like a passing cloud in the sky as I was now taking the 
initiative when I had always relied on Nikki to be the one to do that. I felt 
like I might sob uncontrollably and fought to keep it together.

"Can you come up for a minute? Please." I pleaded, how my voice was intact I 
don't know, but I did feel my lower lip tremble.

"Absolutely." Nikki said instantly, her face got an urgent look of concern and 
caring, her walls instantly crumbled away as had mine. Some guy came brushing 
past me out of the dorm door, he said his hello's to Nikki and I, but we gave 
only the briefest of acknowledgments, or did we, I don't even recall.

She took my hand, was my hand even outstretched? Yes, but it took me 
looking down to see that, I was a mess, I felt a mess, but somehow a smile came 
thru when our fingers intertwined. The emotion that was radiating out of my body 
seemed to transfer thru our connected palms, Nikki was now smiling back at me. 
I looked over my shoulder as we quickly made our way up the stairs, two at time 
it seemed, Nikki's other hand slung her Gym bag up over her shoulder and now 
that free hand was reaching for my shoulder to rub it affectionately, 
reassuringly. Her beautiful tan face, once calm and subdued was flushed with 
emotion and concern, but not a word was spoken as we made our way up that 
staircase.

I spastically unlocked my door and tossed my gym bag toward the foot of my desk, 
Nikki just let hers drop to her feet and didn't move from where she stood, 
except to close the door. I started to pace, rubbing my hands thru my hair 
tangled, sweat, soaked hair, I tried to gauge my emotions, the sweat, grass 
stains and dirt from the rough soccer practice didn't help, if anything it only 
seemed to irritate my mood. 'Don't do anything rash Corbin, don't act out on 
pure emotion.' I tried to find my way back to some sensible, steady ground.

"Corbin," Nikki's voice came toward me, she was tilting her head to try and 
engage my eyes, she was now right next to me, her hands rubbing my shoulders 
and over my arms. Her voice was so soft and concerned, "Its okay."

I froze, stopped the pacing and looked at my dear friend, I raised my hands to 
cradle her beautiful face, I was pissed and happy and frantic, all at the same 
time, I tilted my head forward and pressed my forehead against Nik's forehead, 
she was there and I was clutching her shirt taking deep breaths. I leaned into 
her and she pressed back, the smell of our sweaty, dirty bodies and uniforms 
sent a buzz thru my senses that excited me on so many levels.

"I'm sorry, I'm just upset." I pleaded, leaning more into her, I felt nauseous 
in my stomach but Nikki didn't back away, she held onto me as we hugged and our 
bodies swayed slightly in the middle of my room. I suddenly realized 
she was sweating and panting as hard as I was, when I opened my eyes she was 
tearing up as well.

I turned my head and pressed my lips against hers, the mixture of sweat, 
tears and saliva tasted unlike anything I had ever experienced. It was more 
satisfying then anything I could have ever imagined, and it was happening 
between me and my dear friend!

A fresh coat of sweat started to pour from my body, we staggered around the 
middle of the room, grabbing one another and twisting as I found myself being 
aggressive in ways I had never thought I was capable of being. When Nikki's hand 
grabbed my ass I gasped and almost broke the kiss, I started to grind my pelvis 
into hers almost instinctively, my bold actions had me in a state of shock. I 
ached for her body against mine, my sex against hers, I felt Nikki push her 
crotch back into mine and we both froze, the kissing paused, while only our 
lower lips remained connected. We stood holding our position to enjoy the 
contact of our most private of areas, it seemed another slice of reality lay 
exposed.

I wanted to inhale every scent and odor from this lovely woman in front of me, 
she had me sexually tingling in so many parts of my body. We hugged one another 
and slowly rubbed the front of our bodies against each other, our breasts 
pressed and I could feel our bodies trembling.

What had become of the shy and reclusive Corbin I wondered as I reached around 
and griped Nikki's ass, "Buns of steel" I sighed and smiled, this caused Nikki 
to chuckle, she started to rub her crotch against mine with renewed effort. I 
saw a sparkle in her eyes and she lowered her head so that her mouth could begin 
to sensually suck and lick under my chin. I tilted my head back and moaned as my 
knees buckled, a shiver went up my spine.

"Down" was all I could utter, I moaned and tried to guide my left knee toward my 
bed for support, Nikki understood and we now helped one another down to the bed. 
We cautiously explored one another, I trembled as my hands lifted Nikki's shirt 
off her body and touched her quivering belly, it was toned and rock hard, but 
still rippled with excitement wherever I touched her.

Nikki's touch was just as dramatic on my body, I gasped when she pulled up on my 
shirt and caressed my abs, moving up to my sports bra. 

"So strong." She moaned and leaned down to kiss my belly, licking my abs and 
belly button.

"I love you Nik, I am so in love with you." I sighed, almost weeping, we both 
seemed to be on the verge of tears from the moment we got back to my dorm.

Nikki's body froze and her head came up, her eyes blinked and the darkness of 
her pupils filled with even more tears as she moved up to my face. "I am in love 
with you too Corbin." And we started to kiss in a slow sensual way, Nikki wasn't 
that much more experienced then I was, because she was very conservative like 
me, so we spent a great deal of time learning and exploring each other.

Once again, the contour of our lips seemed perfect for one another, and our 
tongues gently explored. The bottom of her wonderfully warm tongue slid over the 
top of mine and into my mouth, almost instinctively I had the urge to wrap my 
lips around her tongue and so I did! I then sucked her warm, moist tongue into 
my mouth, gently at first and then hard. Nikki moaned and her eyes went wide, 
she wiggled it between my lips and in my mouth as I moved back and forth along 
her pink muscle. I had never done that and Nikki said it was a first for her, 
but we were both hooked by this the erotic sensation and would spend long 
minutes sucking each others tongue at length.

When we took a break from making out, I finally had to ask, "What are we going 
to do?" as I stroked her face.

"I don't know." Nikki sighed, "I don't know."
 
She turned toward me as we laid on our sides, now stripped down to our bra and 
panties, we just soothed and comforted one another. We cuddled and sought to 
find new ways of tightly entertaining our legs and arms around one another. 
Nikki's right hand had very smoothly moved under my panties and was resting on 
my bare ass cheek, gently squeezing.

"I never thought something like this would happen." Nikki said, "I 
always thought I had a solid gauge of my feelings for guys and women. Where all 
of this came from I have no idea, and I can't believe you feel the same way!" 
Her eyes welled up with tears, "You know how I'm all into spiritual beliefs 
about two people being soul-mates."

I know this sounds corny and all, but in that tiny space of my little room, on 
my tiny bed I really felt like we hand bonded into one person, every action and 
reaction flowed without thought or effort, it just existed. The perspiration, 
breathing, and sighs of our lips pressing against one another became 
indistinguishable.

"You're my soul mate Nikki." I whispered into her mouth and kissed her long and 
softly. Did I actually believe it? I wasn't sure, I had my doubts, but I wanted 
to get lost in the moment, I wanted to swept away from all my insecurities and 
fears. This was our private secret moment, and the world outside no longer 
existed, I felt at peace and safe.

"Oh Corbin." Nikki sighed and pulled me tight, "I want this to work, I know 
that's asking allot right now, but please think about it, I'm not saying we 
should stand on the roof top and proclaim our love for one another, but these 
feelings are as real as I could have ever imagined and hoped for."

I kissed her on the lips and closed my eyes, I was smiling as I felt her tongue 
trace along my mouth, "I think your right, but let's go slow."

"Slow it is." I heard her sigh and I opened my eyes to see a beaming beautiful 
smile.

"I need to take a shower." I whispered and we slowly untangled ourselves, I sat 
on the edge of the bed and looked down at my dirty soccer socks. I looked to my 
left and Nikki rolled onto her back, her right arm came up and tucked under her 
head for support, she was relaxed and as happy as I had ever seen her. I smiled 
back down at her and we just stared at one another for a long minute, my left 
hand crawled toward her shin and up to her left knee where I softly massaged her 
bare thigh under her shorts. 'How did I end up at this place?' I wondered, 
looking down at this girl, so many times I thought there would be some guy 
laying in Nikki's place, what a guy wouldn't do to be in Nikki's place.'

"What's so funny?" Nikki asked, I must have been smiling at that thought.

"Guys would kill to trade places with either of us." I said, she smiled in 
return.

"True, very true."

**********

The next day I flipped out, well internally that is, I was not ready to come out 
of the closet and proclaim I was in love with a girl and ready to commit. Yes I 
loved Nikki, and wanted to pursue something with her, but the thought of having 
a boyfriend seemed to beckon me, until I could resolve that, I wasn't sure what 
to do.

The same anxieties went for Nikki as well, so even after all our deep spiritual 
talk about being soul mates, we were still a couple of big chickens!

With so many emotions swirling around my brain I channeled all that energy into  
lifting like a crazy woman. Arms, chest, shoulders, legs, and any and every 
muscle I could identify on a chart, I put it to work. I worked out about 2 hours 
a day, four or five days out of the week when time permitted. The more the girls 
on the Soccer team hazed/taunted/pushed me the harder I trained and lifted, but 
I could tell it was only a matter of time before a blow-up occurred with one or 
several of the girls on the team. 
 
It was during this time of becoming an 'athletic terror' (I don't think I really 
was, but I just like that phrase:) that I would finally met Dale face to face; 
he had just transferred and played football. In reality it was Dale that had 
frantically sought me out after seeing me that night at the bar.

Nikki and I were still an item, but it was all very secret and on the side, she 
still had her boyfriend and I started seeing Dale (oops, jumping ahead again, 
that part comes up next), we even ironically went on several double dates 
together, we each smiled knowingly at one another from across a dinner table. 
 
**********

Dale introduced himself out of the blue, "Hi" I heard the voice from above as I 
sat on the workout bench, staring idly at the floor in between my reps.
 
'Fuck' I mumbled, prepared yet again to tell some guy to get lost, but my 
mouth and brain shut down when I looked up and saw Dale looking down 
at me with his sincere smile.
 
"I'm Dale." and he stuck out his right hand, I gave a reluctant smile and 
reached out to take his hand. 

'Well you dummy.' I thought to myself, at least make an effort to get to 
know him. It was strange as I really DID want to get to know him.
 
"Look, I just wanted to say hi, I've seen you around school and maybe 
we'll run into each other again soon?"
 
"Have you already worked out?" I blurted out and suddenly was shocked to 
hear the words coming from my mouth, in fact I was almost up and off the 
bench but quickly sat back down, not wanting to appear too eager.
 
Dale just smiled and took my question to be an invitation. Dale and I began 
to lift every once in awhile, but like every guy, his concentration sucked, he 
would rather check out my ass, legs and tits although he tried valiantly 
not to. Yet, he seemed relaxed around me, which was a nice change of 
pace because so many guys acted inept or childish with their bantering small 
talk and stupid one-liners. It's not that Dale was naturally quiet, but he would 
rather not say anything then make stupid small talk, something that I very much 
appreciated. When he did start to open up, I found Dale to be smart, funny and 
he was gorgeous to boot, something that quickly became an issue as every single 
or semi-single girl suddenly began putting 'The Vibe' out there for him to pick 
up on. 'I'm not playing that game' I told myself, I had too much self respect to 
ever compete for a man, which seemed to spurn Dale on a bit further in my 
direction; the less I acted interested, the more he chased me. I had 
learned to play the dating game and didn't even realize I was involved with 
my first serious boyfriend at College, ironically I also wondered, 'Perhaps I am 
the one that needs a shot at redemption where socializing is concerned?' 
 
(Now before everyone thinks I have a swelled head, I do acknowledge 
there was allot of competition at this school, allot of gorgeous girl's that 
most likely could put me to shame. I don't know why he became so interested in 
me, well that's not fair, I have allot to offer, so why shouldn't he be 
interested in me!)
 
Dale stood 6'3" and was in incredible shape, he had to be agile and fast so 
'bulking up' on muscles was not in his plan, although he had plenty of them. 
Opportunity presented itself when Dale asked what I was doing after my morning 
workout; it was an opening for something social, so I casually sat down on the 
workout bench and looked across at him. His right leg bounced up and down 
nervously, Dale had heard that I rejected men with the ease of fly-swatting, 
almost in a nonchalant manner which could almost be perceived as being cruel. 
But his stress was overcome with relief when I shrugged and picked up my towel, 
"Heading back to my room to change, and then after that, who knows?"
 
"You mind if I walk you back?" He asked.
 
"Sure." I smiled and stood to wipe down the padding on the weight bench. 
God he was nervous, it was so cute, I loved that and I loved flirting with 
him. For example, right before leaving I leaned over to pick up my gym 
bag and lingered as I bent over to collect my stuff, I knew he was staring 
at my butt but I didn't mind. Not that he was catching a peek show because 
I always wore my baggy, almost knee length track shorts.
 
That night we went on our first date, we seemed to draw allot of attention 
as we walked into the establishment; Me in my long grey, form fitting 
slacks, with a black top contrasted my long blonde hair nicely. Dale looked 
extremely pleased with himself, walking into one of the local College 
restaurants with me on his arm. Although a date, if it could be called that 
because I kept him at arms length the whole night and only gave him a 
hug outside of my dorm room. (I knew he had an erection because I could 
feel it when he hugged me, and it was very big and that unnerved me! Of all the 
damn bum luck, I always thought I would get married and make love to some guy 
with a nice average size penis, well something that was normal in size...errr 
you know what I mean, something not painful. But what if Dale is the one! 
Gheesh, hope it doesn't hurt too much because he feels big and long 'down' 
there. Just great, more worries now.)
 
I was actually a nervous wreck on our second date, I had held Dale's hand 
on our first date, but I knew he would be closing in for a kiss on the 
second, something I had avoided the first time out. He had figured out 
that I was conservative based on my body language, again, he 
walked me to my dorm building, and he got the point when I didn't invite 
him up once again, but he decided to make the bold move and see if things 
would progress further; "Mind if I kiss you goodnight?" He asked, and I actually  
blushed and smiled, "Sure".
 
He leaned in and kissed me, it felt very nice, a tingle ran up my back and 
his arms went around pulling me in a little closer. I didn't even mind when 
he wanted to use his tongue (in fact I wanted him too). We French kissed 
for several minutes on the steps and felt myself leaning into him, wanting 
him to hold me, enjoying it, my body and mind suddenly spiraling into 
separate directions. Slowly I forced myself to pull away, not that I wanted 
to as I wanted to keep kissing him, it was nice, different from Nikki in 
almost everyway. His mouth was forceful and probing and I allowed 
him to pursue me a little bit as my hands came up to his chest pushing a 
little. Wow, a shiver ran up my spine and now my nipples were extremely 
hard as I kept trying to disengage from the kiss. This is a perfect example of 
why I could not commit to Nikki, dating Dale felt wonderful and I didn't want to 
break things off.
 
"Nice." I sighed and leaned away, "Thanks, I had a good time." 
 
"Thank you, can I call you for another date?" He asked excitedly.
 
"Why yes you may." I said in a mocking formal tone and we both laughed a 
little as my head came to rest on his shoulder while he pulled me in close.
 
(Ahhhhh thinking back on that night still brings a smile to my lips, my 
wonderful Dale :)
 
**********
 
I was starting to feel good again, actually I was starting to feel great. My 
body was in the best shape of my life, I now had strong, good looking 
muscles and was probably stronger then any girl on campus, but still not 
so strong emotionally at times. Evident when I was walking with Nikki one 
day and saw Sharon across the way in front of her Sorority house, having 
a huge social, I really missed her company.
 
On a social note, my dates with Dale were going fine, but I was stressed 
about the growing physical expectations he was having and I wished that I 
had Sharon here to talk with, believe it or not, Sharon always had good 
straight forward advice about this sort of stuff. 

I could talk to Nikki about this stuff, but Nikki and I would rather cuddle, hug 
and kiss when we were alone, sharing intimate secrets and talk in depth about 
life, love and the future, not about boys.

See what I mean, I am so messed up, I have a split personality, on one hand I am 
making life long plans with Nikki and then go out with Dale and talk of being 
committed to him. It's a train wreck waiting to happen.
 
**********
 
"I'm jealous." Nikki sighed and walked over, gently touching me on the 
shoulder, massaging my muscles.
 
"You serious?" I blushed again and looked down at the ground, quickly glancing 
up at Nikki's eyes.
 
"A little." She shrugged, "Not sure why. I have a boyfriend too, isn't that 
odd." Nikki said, seemingly lost in thought as her left hand lightly touched 
my right arm and shoulder. 
 
I turned around and pulled Nikki into my arms, "Come here." I whispered 
and pulled her toward me. Nikki smiled broadly as we both awkwardly fell 
back onto my bed. There was an innocent joy in these moments I thought, 
I had somehow set aside my anxieties over being physical when it came to 
another woman. 'It feels good, safe, relaxing.' I thought with a smile and our 
embrace was soon replaced with a deep kiss, the most intense yet as we 
slathered our tongues deeply into one another's mouths, holding and 
kissing one another when Nikki grabbed my butt with both hands pulling 
me in tight.
 
"Sometimes I want you all to myself." Nikki sighed into my open mouth.
 
"You do?" I moaned.
 
"I do." She whispered.
 
**********
  
Dating Dale had its own new experiences that I had never anticipated for. 
The most stressful being a trip over to Dale's apartment after Soccer 
practice one day. I had shown up at a pre-arranged time, although Dale's 
car was nowhere in the parking lot, but I went up to the apartment 
anyway. Steve was there and answered the door inviting me in, now I 
didn't know Steve all that well, but he seemed like a decent enough guy. 
Steve stood about 5'10" with unkept red hair, but otherwise a fairly tidy 
person like Dale, 'Thank god' I thought as I could be such a stickler for 
neatness.
 
"You just get off from practice?" Steve asked, eyeing my soccer uniform, 
actually I watched his eyes continue to trail down towards my legs often.
 
"Yep." I said and sat down at the Kitchen table, while Steve had gone back 
into the living room to watch TV but slowly turned his attention back to me 
when I asked, "Dale running late?" while checking my cell phone to see if 
there were any messages.
 
"Just a little, he should be home any second." Steve looked over at me 
again and then cut off the TV. "You can fix yourself something to eat or 
drink if you like, just help yourself." He called out, now his full attention 
was directed towards me.
 
"Thanks." I replied and picked at a piece of tattered string coming off my 
shorts. I knew Steve had a hard time figuring me out, because of my 
typical one-word answers, I guess to him he might as well be talking to a brick 
wall. I looked up from picking at my dirty shorts and saw him 
walking towards the kitchen table, it caught me a little off guard but didn't 
give me any grave concerns at the moment. I really didn't have any bad 
vibes from being around Steve, but this was the first time I ever been 
really alone with him.
 
"You weight lift?" Steve pulled out a chair to my left and sat down. 

'Oh great...' I thought, '...is he going to grill me now?'
 
"Some." I answered and was trying to change mental gears into my 'Social 
Mode' for some conversation, if that is what he was expecting.
 
"How much can you lift and such?" He leaned forward, folding his arms 
casually in front of him on the table top.
 
"Oh, I don't really keep track of that sort of stuff, I just try and stay in 
shape." I smiled and tried to brush off the pursuit of any more question 
about that topic of conversation. Steve watched my every movement, 
even under the smudges of sweat and dirt he seemed fascinated with me.
 
"Oh come on, you don't keep track?" He scoffed at the thought, "As 
dedicated as you are, it's hard for me to believe that you don't have some 
idea." he probed.
 
I shifted in the seat a little and let out a small, indistinguishable sigh of 
annoyance, "Not really, I keep track of everything up here." and pointed to 
my forehead with a smile.
 
"So, how serious are you with Dale?" Steve suddenly shifted questions 
again, catching me off guard a bit.
 
"What?" My mouth opened with puzzlement, I understood the question, but 
was a little surprised he was being so forward.
 
"You know what I mean, I notice you've been coming over allot more, so I 
figure that you two must be getting pretty serious." He smiled and seemed 
amused that I was stumbling over my words.
 
"Well, were dating, but serious, I mean if you're asking are we committed 
to dating one another exclusively, yes, we haven't really discussed it at 
length." It dawned on me that it was a good point, I had never demanded 
nor asked that we date exclusively, I just 'assumed' we were at that 
point.
 
"So maybe your unsure at this point? So there might be an opportunity for 
something else?" He raised his eyebrows and totally shocked me as his right hand 
reached out, his palm coming to rest on my left knee that was folded over my 
right leg. 
 
(I am still shocked by how I reacted to Steve's forward behavior, maybe 
embarrassed when I look back on it, and I know I freaked Steve out by 
my reaction, as you will see.)




  
12_College