High School 01
By Corbin
How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman.

*********

I am NOT a writer...I am winging it here folks, so as far as grammar, spelling
and such I just do the best that I can.
 
I am not an outwardly jovial or an excitable person, I do not bounce for joy and 
get all 'giddy' over things that excite me, (unlike some of my other annoying 
girlfriends). If people are really interested in this story then you might as 
well forget about instant gratification, I am pretty slow in everything I do, 
including revealing important pieces of information about 'yours truly'. Anyway, 
that was fair warning, so you might as well give up now and go back to your 
other superficial-instant-gratification-fast-food-drive-thru life indulgences. 
 
All sounds rather self-important doesn't it? Well tough shit, deal with it.

Now, having said all that, I went thru a drastic personality change when I was
about 9 or 10, which concerned my parents to the point that I landed on a
couch in front of a Psychologist. Not for long mind you, but still, my mom 
worried at great length that I might be suppressing some emotional issues beyond 
the normal angst of youth. Angst? HA! I suppose I was rebellious, still am mind 
you, and I have maintained my dignity, integrity and self-respect all along. 

Being rebellious does NOT mean you just throw yourself into any given situation 
with reckless abandon. 

I rebel quietly, purposely and thru action, not sitting on the sidelines and 
watching. I suppose all of this will make sense soon enough, and if not, well 
tough shit, nobody asked you to read this anyway!

Hmm, suppose I am not winning over any fans with such talk, oh well, my 
story...mylife...DEAL WITH IT!

Anyway, it was about that age that I started to dress and act different, 
actually all I was doing was dressing 'down', trying to retain my tomboyish 
ways, but I like to keep my hair long, I never like my hair short! It was just 
the way my body was developing and Mother Nature was not cooperating, so I 
turned to clothing, which can offer a wonderful way to disguise your body as it 
changes. I wasn't ashamed of being a girl, I love being a girl and having a 
great body, but I didn't want to deal with the way guys were starting to look at 
me differently; hitting on me, liking me, staring at me.

'Come on, I'm your buddy, let's go climb a tree, ride bikes, play some sports!' 
That was my attitude for years even all thru High School.

I grew taller, and filled out, then boys acted awkward, gone was the laid back 
attitude of being friends, now they started 'acting'; shy, or cool, or just 
plain strange.

"What are you doing!" I pushed one guy down when we were standing in my back 
yard, one day after school, we had just gotten off the bus and he asked to talk 
to me behind my house.

"I wanted to kiss you." He said with a shocked expression on his face as he 
looked up at me, still sitting on his butt, "Don't make that face, don't be 
mad!" 

'Don't make that face' 
I swear, if I never had to hear that again for the rest of my life, but I would, 
because I have this habit of making a real sour-scrunched expression whenever 
something grosses me out. 

So I always insisted in buying clothes at least one size too big, I wanted to 
have the baggy jeans like the boys and the big tee shirts and jackets. None of 
that wearing the waist line, below the hips, butt hugging pants bullshit...
 
At least not at that age, I would slowly come around later on.

Anyway, getting back on track, my clothing attire alone was not enough to
push my parents in the direction of seeking out help, but it was my attitude
and change in the way I was acting. Yes, I became quiet...brooding and my
smile faded as I struggled with girlfriends who loved to dress in the latest
fashion trends while I simply looked like a fashion 'wreck'. I have to speak
my mind here and say, I am thoroughly disgusted by what I see going on
around me...I see these beanpole women on television ads for TV-shows
that are suppose to be strong, athletic women yet they look so anemic and
scrawny I doubt they could kick down a cardboard door. And don't forget, 
TV/Pictures/Film will add weight to you, so can you imagine how scrawny these 
people must be! Maybe that's an unfair assessment as I don't really watch TV 
that much, unless it comes on PBS. I think I am just 'old' at heart and maybe 
too serious for my years, it seems to take me forever to rent a movie as I am so 
damn picky about what I am willing to watch...essentially I am giving up two 
hours of my life for a movie so it better be damn good.
 
TV Sitcoms - I don't watch them, boring and designed for the simple minded
people of our time. I may pause as I flip channels but that is about it.
 
So called 'Realty' Shows - Oh please, nothing real about any of them, it's
just another distraction from real life...taking time away from your life...and 
my life.
 
Sports - I don't sit around and watch sports, I need to participate in sports,
not be a spectator. I am after all extremely athletic and refuse to waist time
rotting away on some couch.
 
So anyway, back to what turned into my ongoing battle with my mother,
she would buy me dresses and other fine clothes that girl's 'maturing' should
wear, and I would return them to the store for cargo pants/shorts...loose 
fitting jeans...and large sweaters. She would fume at me, but I was never one 
for yelling or arguing so I just sat quietly while she lectured till she was red 
in the face...or blue in the face?...sometimes it was both I think.
 
My dad, well...thank god for dear old dad, I love him so much :) he really
supported me thru all of my sports and I think he was so proud to have such
strong girl. I was kind of the best of both worlds, interested in playing sports
while I could get dressed up (WHEN I HAD TO) and be his 'little girl'. Which
brings a smile to my face as I stand damn near 5' 11", which is a curse...I
don't like being the center of attention as I am going about my daily
business...but when your tall, blonde (yes I'm blonde, it was bound to come
up so let's get it over with) and athletic you attract attention, I mean what
the fuck, am I some kind of tourist attraction?

To understand me, you also have to understand my relationship with my friend 
Sharon, which is why I have decided to start by talking a little about her. 
Since I tend to think of this as a diary of sorts, *my* Diary that is, and since 
it's MY diary I can damn well do what I like! :P

People typically have one impression of Sharon; A conniving, manipulative,
spoiled, rich, daddy's girl (did I leave anything out?) This tends to reflect 
badly on me, since we are great friends, and used to be roommates. (I live with 
Nikki now, but more on her later...trust me, ALLOT more on her later!)
 
DRAT! I am getting side tracked again and need to get back to High School where 
I wanted to start. I'll also be jumping around allot so be prepared to become 
confused.
 
Is anyone surprised that Sharon was a Cheerleader in high school? 
Not just *A* Cheerleader, but *THE* epitome of that pretty, perky, go team...GO!
bullshit Cheerleader type, she really believed that her cheers helped win
games which helped contribute to her becoming the Team Captain her Senior
year. I on the other hand, was the exact opposite, at Pep-Rallies I just sat
there and glared and those annoying cheers...they grated on my
nerves...and she was so damn irritatingly...well...Cheerful! But under that
girly, respectable, glitzy, high maintenance exterior is a tough as nails
competitor. Also, those cheer uniforms at our school were a bit too revealing 
for my taste, yet it seemed to fit right in with Sharon's attitude because she 
loved showing off her body and abs, along with giving away amble amounts skin 
along her neck, back, shoulders, and of course her legs. I guess you might have 
already assumed that Sharon was big into playing the tease and liked to torment 
guys with her little seductive poses and flirtatious hair flips...*SOMEONE GAG 
ME NOW AS I TYPE THIS!!!*
 
No surprise in the fact that Sharon was very attractive, at least she wasn't 
blonde! Our reputations for being blonde take a big enough hit as it is. 
 
I on the other hand was so introverted I rarely had a boyfriend...hell, I 
rarely dated, so everyone thought I was stuck up, worse then Sharon even! When 
girls like Sharon were not primping themselves, they loved to help primp other 
girls, thus I had a major bulls-eye on my back as every girl wanted me to become 
their pet project;
'Corbin, your gorgeous! Please come over to my house so we can do a little make-
over!' They would say this all-the-freaking time. HA! I think not! Besides, 
seems like allot of people were telling me the opposite, that I should never 
'primp' or wear makeup, 'You look perfect just going 'natural''. 

Yeah well, call it whatever you want, I just don't like wearing makeup or 
jewelry, mainly because it gets in the way of my sports, lifting weights, and 
studying. 

In some odd way my athletic, studious, quiet attitude set me apart (secretly I 
liked that), guys started to worship the ground I walked on. I never set out to 
be 'looked up to' as a role model, in fact it can be embarrassing, I had an art 
teacher single me out in class one day;
"Corbin is the perfect student. Always on time, attentive, completes all 
assignments."

OMG!!! He did NOT just say that!
As a student, you do not want that kind of attention, I wanted to crawl in a 
hole and die from embarrassment. Fellow classmates get jealous or turn to 
mocking when you are singled out by a teacher and given praise like that, so I 
got teased relentlessly about being the perfect student; 
"Make way! Here comes her highness the perfect student!" 
My face turns red every time someone ragged on me about that. Oh well, what the 
heck, I didn't change what I was doing one bit, if anything it made me more 
determined to stick to my values. 

Oh yeah, and how I dressed got ragged on as well, girls and guys were like; 
Them:  "Are you trying to start your own fashion trend Corbin?"
Me:    "Does it look like I have one clue about fashion!" I would snap back, 
"How am I going to start a fashion trend when I can't even color coordinate 
anything? Gheesh, get a clue!"

Everyone just laughed it off, me included, and over time it was just accepted by 
everyone.

And then something odd began to happen, I started to overhear guys and girls 
(boyfriends/girlfriends even) arguing about me, funny huh? Guys paid me 
attention, which annoyed other girls because I stood out in my own unique way I 
guess, I was ultimately labeled a 'brainy-jock'.
 
So as you can see the social structure within our School...and pretty much the 
community we lived in was fairly complex. But I think my High School was similar 
to how most schools operated academically and socially, well except for the fact 
it was kind of small and a Private School, those two factors meant
that the slightest bit of gossip could spread in minutes and depending on who
you talked to, each 'click' had its own interpretation of who held the top rung
of the social ladder. 

Back to dating for a moment, the guys in High School were shifting into sex 
overdrive, so hanging out and expecting a relaxing moment or two was not to be 
found. I had strict parents by the way, who would not let me invite a guy over 
unless they were home and I would not go over a guy's house if his parents were 
not home. I did not sneak around these rules by the way, because (A) I respected 
my parents, and (B) I did not want to have to clobber some guy for putting the 
moves on me. Even the most mature guys in my School seemed to lack the smooth 
moves you see in the movies or older men seem to have, most guys just appear so 
desperate and clinging, clawing and grabbing. A major turn off to me, it was 
shocking that so many girls I knew put up with such cheap-lame come on lines and 
attitudes from these chumps! 

So if you were a guy, how would you get close to me? Well, a select few were cut 
a break (isn't that benevolent of me?) just be polite, respectful and obeyed my 
directions when around me! (And good looking, yes I can be very superficial in 
many ways). See, those rules were not too tough huh? But that didn't stop them 
from trying something; Steve, Mike, Curtis, Jeff...to name a few, child hood 
friends mostly, were now showing up or inviting themselves over, trying to sit 
next to me on the couch, way too close. I'm looking down like 'my personal space 
is being invaded here', but I am not totally clueless, the light bulb went off 
when their arm would relax on the back of the sofa to try and pull me closer. 
Some tried a little intro line like, 'Wow, your getting really buff Corbin.' 
THEN they move in for the kiss, or stuff like, 'You're the most beautiful girl 
in school.' (I literally snorted and laughed out loud when I heard that the 
first time, hurt the guys feelings a little, but oh well). 

'WHOOOAAAAA! Stop right there MR! You need to Park it!' I would just lean away, 
and then pushed them away, 'No kissing.' Besides my parents are right upstairs 
in the kitchen!

I slammed the brakes on ALL of that!

Guys will try to 'get it on' anywhere and anyplace, even with my parents 
upstairs. For me that was very-VERY uncomfortable and rude!

So I tried to steer clear of as many pitfalls as possible, be a good, hard 
working girl/student and good things will happen! Right?

Not always, those backstabbing, jealous bitches in my school cranked up the 
rumor mill on me. That I was a lesbian! I got a phone call one night from a 
friend on the gymnastics team asking me if it was true, I tried not to flip out, 
that was the first time I remember my temper ever surfacing. I paced my room 
wanting to cry and go into a fit of rage all at the same time, how humiliating.
Those girls were clever, and I suppose to some it made sense; I was girl, a jock 
and RARELY dated, and did not have a boyfriend. Heck, now that I thought about 
it, I couldn't ever remember having a boyfriend prior to my Senior year in High 
School.

So like with everything I do, I sat down at my desk in my room and made a list 
of guys that I think I might like, but I was soon running out of options. My 
list of pros and cons was not weighing in favor of any guys at my school, this 
was very worrisome, is my grading scale on dating too severe? 

I ONLY HAVE UNTIL TOMORROW MORNING TO WORK THIS PROBLEM OUT!!
(well you big dummy) my subconscious said, (This is not a math problem that you 
can solve). But I wanted to be able to have an answer ready for in the morning, 
because I knew I was going to get slammed by the 'lesbian' rumors, those clever 
bitches, they always flood the communication channels with gossip at the end of 
the day, allowing it to cook over night so everyone is worked up into a feeding 
frenzy by the next morning.

10:00PM !!!! AHHHH!!!!! I only have hours left now!!!

"Corbin time for bed!" My mom called from down the hallway.

Time for bed? Ha! I'm packing my bags and moving to the mountains to be come a 
happy hermit!

I'm doomed, and went to bed depressed, confused as to why I could not find a 
suitable boyfriend, never mind the fact that I was just assuming that once I 
made my mind up, the chosen guy, would just fall all over himself to agree with 
my selection.

The next day was not that bad really, yes there were friends that came up to me 
and inquired as to what all the talk about. To make matters worse we had a 
gymnastics meet with a nearby High School that afternoon, so I had to get into 
my 'game mode'. I was, still am, a decent gymnasts, and the fact I was really 
lifting weights now meant I started to look very defined, this meant I cut a 
killer figure in my leotard. So now the attention from guys was going thru the 
roof, seemed I was developing a little following, 'Check her out! There she is!'
(Yeah you read that right, 'There she is' from people I have no clue who they 
are! What retards! Very creepy!) I just had to tune that nonsense out, as I 
slipped off my warm up pants and jacket. I never paid much attention to guys 
when at any sporting event, I had to stay focused and I think that contributed 
to how people perceived me as being aloof and stuck up. I never made eye contact 
with anyone outside of my team, but I was determined to stay focused, for fear 
of loosing concentration and breaking my darn neck you dopes!

"11:00!" Stacy says from my right as I tape up my wrist, "He's checking you 
out."

"Huh?" I say in my somewhat typical, clueless, lethargic manner, not really in 
the mood for any distractions. "What?" I say, cause I see like a whole bunch of 
guys staring at us, 'so what!' I think, and some of them are taking pictures now 
too! WHAT THE HECK!! I didn't give anyone permission to take my picture!
(Oh well, big deal, I really don't care, I just have flashes of anger when I 
catch some guy taking my picture at a gymnastics meet. I'm sure when I do a full 
split my hairdo is the primary focus of attention, sure, uh-huh.)

Stacy was about to clarify whom she was talking about, but then bingo! I see 
him! He's standing near the opposing team, across the gym, and he's looking 
right at me! He does a quick smile and then looks away, I get a little flutter 
in my stomach and my insides feel warm for a second. 
Hot damn, now this is what I am talking about! 
This is the kind of reaction I have been waiting for! He is gorgeous! 

"Damn Corbin" Stacy leans in to whisper in my ear, "He's is hot!"

Amazing how life spins you around, the day starts out crappy and ends with me 
feeling on top of the world! 

His name was Erik and we would start dating soon after that first moment of eye-
contact. He tracked me down after the meet, before I got on the bus to head 
home, he asked for my phone number and I gave it too him. He seemed nice, 
humble, and shy and did I mention gorgeous! It was hilarious, all the girl's had 
their faces plastered to the bus windows as we talked. That was all it took to 
rectify all the gossip, word spread about Eric thru my school. The fact that he 
went to another High School only fueled the mystery and intrigue, it also pissed 
off allot of guys at my school, that I had gone 'outside' to date someone, as if 
no one at my school was good enough.

It wasn't always smooth sailing, especially in the beginning; Eric immediately 
broke up with his current girlfriend to start dating me. It happens, and while I 
would rather not be caught up in having some girl get her heart broken, I am 
also not going to sit on the sidelines forever!

***********

So, how did I meet Sharon?

Well, fortunately there are people in my School that enjoy drama and I am glad 
to let them steal the spotlight whenever they choose to. The general consensus 
was that the Cheerleaders were the snobbiest, socialite bitches to ever grace 
the halls of this school and the girl's Softball Team were among their biggest 
critics. In fact, a verbal war had been waged between the factions for the past 
couple of years, fortunately that was the extent of it.
 
It was a hot, humid day...I remember that clearly because all the gym doors
to the outside were open and several big fans were setup to keep the air
circulating. That particular day I was practicing my floor routine, I was in the 
middle of working on a Sissone when I heard that annoying squeaking sound that 
sneakers make when one is walking across a freshly polished basketball court. 
Which is what our gym is, one giant basketball court...amongst other uses. 
Anyway, I give a casual glance over and here comes her highness, Sharon, nose in 
the clouds, but now she's giving me the once over and I'm just standing there in 
my gymnastics leotard staring at her like some retard or something. I am also, 
pretty sure, that she was trying to make her stupid shoes squeak as loud as 
possible just to disturb me, 'cause that is what those bitches like to do, annoy 
people.
 
Oh and I love this part, she gives me her famous diva sneer and glances
away, 'Like what the hell was that?' I'm thinking and now I'm pumped because 
while Sharon is athletic, she has nothing on me in the physical department, and 
she can't touch me with some of the moves I can perform on the floor. So I go 
back to concentrating and I can just feel those eyes of hers looking back at me 
now...judging me...as I perform 'Back-in, Full-out' (look it up folks, not easy 
to do) and I land perfect with a smile on my face cause I know she couldn't 
touch that! HA! One up on Sharon.
 
But you see, Sharon never really paid much attention to anyone on the
Gymnastics team as though every breath she inhaled was full of superiority.
True, allot of my friends on the team were Cheerleading 'rejects' (as Sharon
liked to call it) but I never applied for the Cheerleading squad, so she 
couldn't count me amongst that group. Listen to me! I sound like Sharon now, 
'That Group' is some of my best friends too.
 
Why did I never apply for Cheerleading? I was encouraged to, but in this
town, who your parents know and how popular you were played a big
factor. Sharon's father is a big-wig executive within one of the largest
Corporations in the Country, there was little she didn't receive when she asked
For it. But even once you made the team, you had to know how to 'kiss ass'
and that I cannot tolerate, nor perform very well...has something to do
with self-respect and dignity, I like those two qualities and think I do a good
job of hanging onto them :)
 
I wasn't totally surprised by Sharon's staring, I was starting to get some 
rather harsh 'evaluations' from many girls on the Cheer Squad, it seems that my 
stellar grades, athletic prowess, and 'very hot' boyfriend was churning that up 
the green monster of envy/jealousy. 

"Just who does she think she is?" Girls would say about me. Problem was, 
everyone that really-REALLY knew me, defended me and said I was just shy and 
quiet! And that I had strict parents (which is true). There will always be 
people who are looking to tear you down, if you are perceived as a threat.

Sharon had now disappeared into the locker room, (another annoying fact! The
Cheerleaders had finagled their way to obtaining a whole row of lockers side
by side, and they were the best lockers in the girl's room. This was another
stunt that really ticked off allot of other girls in the school.) I recall a few
times that I walked into the locker room and would observe Sharon meticulously 
laying out her clothes, taking her own sweet time, and taking up as much room as 
she damn well pleased. This often pushed the envelope on a few confrontations in 
our school, and that is exactly how Sharon and I met, when things almost came to 
blows...you'll see... :)


  
01_High_School