Final countdown.

Now all the running around has been dealt with. tickets are done. packing has started. I'll be leaving india on 12th may.

The good news is, ID and I are fine afterall. Oh it took me redwelts on my butt, and a torturous night in her house, but things are okay between us. I'm happy.

ray.

She's pissed off!

She's pissed off on me cause I am going to leave soon. cute of her.

I know I told her at the last moment when everything else was finalised, that was my intention actually, to not let her know before.

but she's pissed. And as cute as i find it, i'm still worried.

ray.

counting days.

you have to make hard choices in life.

Like the one i've made.

Now i'm counting days... for me to leave ID, leave this country. I do not know when we will meet again.

Some goodbyes are heart breaking, but necesary.

Rayoflight.

.

Sad ordeal that we had to go through, day before yesterday. One of our close friends gave a surprise news that she thought she was pregnent through her bf. As shocking as it was, she swore that she didn't really have any intercourse.

We undertook the pregnancy test, and silence spread into the room where all three of us were sitting, N [my friend], ID and me. the test was positive.

Next we went to a gynaecologist, and took the test again, as suspected, it was positive. Doctor was more surprised when she found out that her hymen was intact, so in fact she did not have sex.

Then N told us, that she was just fooling around with her bf, and her knowlwdge only told her that intercourse without condom can turn you pregnent, nothing else would. She totally undermined the fluid exchange and thus the pregnancy took place.

All in stunned silence, doctor went through the procedure of signing No Objection papers. And cause she was just a month from the date they fooled around, the abortion was possible with help of medicine. ID took care of the finance, and in an hour or so we were out, with some medicine that N would have to take day after, and then the aborting will start.

I was feeling sad for her, when I heard that the medicines would have side effects, of strong nausea, and lot of abdominal pain. For more, She was living with her parents, so it was a double risk. But at the end, there was one fact that was beyond my acceptance, she had lost her very first child.

I would neer give up my first, in any case.

Rayoflight.

Some facts:

N is just 20. her Bf is 23 though. She is a muslim gal, so hymen has to be intact when she gets married, or else on first night with ehr groom, if she doesnt bleed, she will suffer for the rest of her married life, for not being virgin. She was all scared. So was I. If it wasn't for ID, I couldnt have gone through it at all. She was tough and she took care of it. I admire her more after lastdays events.

ID is back to kicking..

Sickness does this to her.

First she turns into a whiny 16 yr old for a while, who needs to be taken care of. And then all what she needs is a little energy to get up to be bossy again!

I mean, I was feeling so close and mushy to her after a week she spent infront of my eyes, on her bed. And she whispers to me once in the middle of the night, " Wait till I get well, cause then I'm gonna pay you back for your *care*"

I smile and hug her close. She is so kiddish at times.

But I love that kid a lot.

Latest ..

She is getting better!

I'm happy.

I hope she get back to action soon.

Sad News

I did not know that she was ill. so arrogant of her.

She didn't even tell me, and Stupid as I am, I went into sulking thinking she's once more back to her busy life, not caring what she was doing to me.

I feel really bad for me, and I feel really sorry for her.
No matter what, I'm going to be there for her, from now on, even though it may seem like I'm bargin in her private life. she's arrogant and at time downright careless about her health. It would need a great deal of pushing for her to start taking better care of herself.

And ID, whever you read this, know that I plan to that. On any cost.

The stubborn one,
Ruby.

Lost

I, divulge into thinking a lot.

Thoughts, that defy my logics, logics that defy my emotions. I understand when ID says what she says, as she also feels like this. But I do not understand one thing, I've come to accept what i am, how i am. At times its just good not to question, and accept.

Why can't she do that?

Ruby.

Monday Blues

This happens a lot.

Just like last sunday, this sunday i'd been with ID. And we had nice time together. There is nothing weird about that.

But then comes the monday morning, when i'm all cold, all detached, and all disgusted, altogether!

I hate the feeling! I want to loose those monday blues!

Fun Sunday

I really hate reading. And in ID's free times, I only see her either reading or with that camera hung around her neck! And both the things irritate me so much.

So what do I do... I take out my copy of financial times, that I mostly keep with me, and starts reading aloud. I speak about the current market situation and the effect of the recent budget by P. Chidambaram.

Most of the times it works, as she has that irritated expressions on her face, the one that makes her brow move up and her lips curve down. She then take the paper from my hands and folds it aside, along with her camera or the book, and we start talking.

Although, it has worked in most of all the times, I wodner if it remains working, specially now, after admitting my purposeful act.

Thank's to my Dear ID for the picnic, it was wonderful that we spent so much time together, we hardly had that much time to ourselves before.

a very happy one,
Ruby.