As a young boy around 10 or 11 my parents use to send us to the saturday matinee which 
at the time we were very happy about. We didn't realise at the time that is was mom and 
dads time to be alone. When we were younger they would make us take naps. It was at 
one of these matinees that my brother and I meet an man that would buy us whatever 
treats we wanted if we would let him play with our genitilia. We never told our folks. As 
I entered my pubesant years I meet a man who ran a gas station and he would pay me 
20.00 to give me BJ's. I enjoyed the release and the money which I would spend on my 
girl friend of the moment. I believe these two experiences were the reason for my later 
failings in the rusal of my daughters affections. 

At 32 My 11 year marriage was headed for devorce and I had my daughter over every 
other week which was a good arraingement for both of us. My daughter started to play 
rough house games, when she was over, that were sexual in nature I and encouraged them 
mostly because of my inability to hunt for mature females after 11 years of marriage. 
(insecurity) She would pull on my sweats, exposing my butt or fall down and thus pulling 
down my pants. at night while watching a movie she would place her hand on my groin 
whenever she needed to get up to go to the kitchen or bathroom. Since I only had a one 
bedroom apt. she wanted to sleep on the floor in her sleeping bag next to my bed. One 
night my daughter climbed up on the bed and asked if she could sleep with me. I had on a 
night shirt and so did she, the room was jet black and I could not see a thing. I remember 
being more excited and scared then I had ever been in my entire life as she reached over 
and touched my erection with both hands on the outside of my nightshirt, her hands did 
not move. I in turn reached between her legs and found to my suprise that they were 
spread and that she didn't have any underware on. I rubbed for what seemed like an 
eternity, when my daughter suggested that she get back down and go to sleep. I agreed. 
The games continueed for four years but never went further then touching and teasing. It 
stopped one day when she got mad at me for touching her body around the time she 
started to date and I believed she realised that she could not replace mommy. 

Six months later she told her mother about us and I was arrested for crimes against a 
minor. I was court ordered to see a psychotrist, spend weekends for a year in a 
community help program for first time offender and paid a 20,000.00 to the courts. My 
fear of going to jail and being raped, revieled by psych test and the fact that I had never 
commited another crime kept me out of jail. 

To this day, I'm still drawn to 10 and 11 year old females. I will look at the pics, read the 
stories and chat with young ones in private rooms but my fear factor keeps me from 
going futher. I can't take the chance of destroying my family. By the way, I have raised a 
well rounded daughter in my second marriage who is on the verge of college without any 
indication of my past social failures. 

