Confessions of a Young Pedophile.  Part 1 of 2
(An autobiography)

This story is sort of personal confession and I was prompted to write
it when a friend whom I talk to over the Internet, expressed some
interest in my past.   This is only my second attempt at writing so I
would appreciate any feedback, good or bad.

My first attempt was pure fiction (STRANGE MEETING.TXT) whereas here,
the events are I am to describe are factually true events that occurred
50+ years ago and continuing for approximately 14 years.  They involve
sexual activities between pre-teen young girls and myself.  These
occurred as close as my memory allows, and because of their nature,
should not be read by the overly sensitive, where it is legally or
morally forbidden, or anyone under the legal age. Feel free to use the
story for your own pleasure, or re post it as-is with no changes as
long as you include this header.  You may not use it to benefit
yourself or anyone else financially.

Please send comments to: girl_luvr@repairman.com

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This is part 1 of  2


Chapter 1.    INTRODUCTION

Perhaps I should start by telling a little more about myself.   I am
married and have 2 adult children who live their own lives in other
cities.    I am of average, white, male and aged 60.  I am 5' 9 ½"
tall, and weigh in at about 180 odd pounds.    I have the typical male
waist problem of my age, have all my hair, and my mind (hopefully) is
still mainly intact.

As regards to the events that I am to portray, for obvious reasons, my
memory is vague about the exact age I was when the earliest events
occurred.  When I first began to think back to these episodes of my
youth, the details emerged slowly over a period of months and were
fascinating to remember.  Each time I mentally ran through the sequence
of events, I remembered more detail and often one thing would trigger a
memory of another.  Finally it occurred to me that I should record it
somewhere and this is the result.

I have had to make some age approximations but this does not detract
from the accuracy of the events, and for obvious reasons you will also
find that more details are available for the later occasions.  As I was
older, as my memory of the events is a little better.



Chapter 2.   THE EARLY YEARS

I was born 1939 as the eldest of a family of three boys and these
events occurred between about 1946 and 1960.  My mother was young, and
I suspect, very immature.  My father was a hard worker but also was an
alcoholic and as he was rarely home, had very little effect on my
life.  At that time, sex was a subject that was never mentioned and the
one time I can remember asking where babies came from, I was told that
they were found under cabbages in the garden.  (I suspect many from
that era will relate to that)

Sometime around the age of five during my first year at school,
something happened which made a profound impression on me.  I was
playing at the far end of the school grounds during lunch recess, when
I saw six older boys form a circle around a girl of about 7 or 8 and
take her behind some trees.  She was forced to the ground and while two
boys held her down by the shoulders, others lifted her dress, pulled
her panties down around ankles and then stood around laughing and
making ribald comments.

I still remember this vividly, as it was the first time I had seen a
girl without panties.  I remember little of what she looked like, but
what did affect me, was that she was crying and calling out for help
and I can remember feeling very sorry for her.  After watching for a
few minutes, I was so upset that I ran away, and as I moved to another
school the following year, I never did find out what happened over it.

What effect this had on my psychological make-up at such a tender age
is a matter of conjecture.  All I can say that the events of that day
are still vivid, and stay with me now more than 55 years later.  If it
affected me that much as a bystander, I have often wondered what effect
it had on the poor girl.

AChapter from that, girls never figured much in my thoughts until I was
somewhere about the age of seven when my mother had some visitors from
another city stay with us.  It was bath time and my younger brothers
had been put to bed so it was my turn for the bath.  Suddenly the door
opened and our visitor came in with her 6-year old daughter.  She
undressed her and placed her in the opposite end of the bath and left
us there.  Suddenly I realized that girls were different
and "something" was missing.  I could hardly keep my eyes of her groin
and because of the "cut" there, I seem to remember wondering if there
had been an accident, and her "cock" had been cut off.  I was dying to
know what had happened to her and was quite disappointed when her
mother returned, bathed and dried her, then wrapped her in the Towel
and left to dress her for bed.  Thinking back, it was about here that
my obsession with the cute little hairless slit between girl's legs
started although at that time I was totally unaware of where it would
lead me.

I thought no more of this until some months later.  I am unsure of the
exact age I was, but it was probably somewhere around my eighth
birthday.  This particular day my brother's and I were playing with a
group of neighborhood children in a nearby empty lot.  After about an
hour everyone left except one girl and myself.  We decided to play hide
and seek in a large stand of trees.  I suddenly remembered the earlier
experience and, as we could not be seen, decided to try and see what
she looked like.  I made the casual suggestion that she may like to
play "Mothers and Fathers".  She seemed quite agreeable so we found a
small clearing in the trees where we were able to kneel down and not be
seen.  Within seconds she had lifted her dress and pulled down her
panties while I opened my shorts.

I was fascinated to see she was also missing a penis and I investigated
this in great detail, to which she seemed to derive some pleasure.  I
realized that this must be the way ALL girls were made and wondered how
she managed to "pee" without a penis.  To my great disappointment, we
had to cut the game short when we heard her mother calling her for
dinner.  I wanted to continue a few days later but she never agreed to
this again.  She came from a family of three sisters and yet was not at
all surprised at seeing my very immature "equipment".   That brief
encounter piqued my interest and I decided to follow the interesting
question about "peeing" the first opportunity that arose and this was
the time when my active interest in investigating and fondling the
genitals of young girls started.

In the street behind where we lived was a small inner city park
called "Hamilton Square".  It is a square grassed area in the middle of
a residential housing area and had about 20 large, very old trees and a
lot of smaller bushes.  The square had been provided with a Band
Rotunda; public men's and women's toilets; and children's playground.
It's main use was as a practice area by local brass bands which were
very popular back then, but of course was also used as a recreational
area by local families and by all the local children as a playground.

Almost opposite the square lived a family with 12 children and I used
to particularly friendly with one boy from this large family.   When I
used to call at his house, if he was not home I would sometimes play
with his other sisters or brothers.   Also in the family were twin
girls who at that stage were only slightly younger than I was.  They
were not identical twins as one was blond and the other was somewhat
darker. One day I happened to find myself alone on the Rotunda with the
blond twin.  I started to make suggestions and I found that with only a
very minor amount of coaxing, she allowed me to put my hand under her
dress and touch her genitals through her panties.

Of course I wanted more, so I asked her if she liked it and as she
said 'yes", I persuaded her to follow me across the park to the nearby
men's toilet.   Because of the position on the edge of the square, they
were very close to houses across the street, so for privacy the council
had apparently placed the door at the rear and then provided additional
privacy by shielding it with a group of trees and bushes.  Something I
might add that would never be done these days.   This toilet was
perfect for my activities and I made continued use of it over the years
that followed.

We walked over and stood behind the bushes so that we could not be seen
from the park side.  After I checked the toilet and made sure it was
empty, she followed me into a cubicle and after I shut the door, she
allowed me to take off her panties.  As she was quite a small girl for
her age, I helped her up to stand on the seat of the toilet.  This
placed her at a much better height and I was able to have a marvelous
time inspecting and playing with her very pretty young genitals.  At
that young age I had no idea that girls had a Vagina so my activities
were limited to me rubbing my fingers up and down her "slit".  I also
opening it to see what was inside and I think this was the first time
that I actively realized that there was a tiny bump in there.  I can
remember wondering if it was a penis that had not grown fully.  I
showed her my penis, and after seeing it that first day, she seemed
quite interested and on later occasions sometimes she would ask to hold
it to see it grow larger.  (Only a slight amount at that young age of
course)

I was very keen to repeat this delightful time and looked for her after
school, but every time I saw her, she was with other children.  Much to
my frustration, I did not see her alone for about 2 weeks.  Then one
afternoon as I was walking home from school, she came out of the gate
alongside me.  I asked if she would like to come to the square and play
afterwards.  She told me she had to clean her room but would be there
after that.    I did some of my homework then went to the square and
waited for her.

I began to think she was not coming when she walked around the corner
and to my surprise walked toward the men's toilet instead of toward
me.   We met behind it and I asked if she wanted to go in.   She
said "yes" so I made sure that the building was empty, and as there was
nobody near, we sneaked into a cubicle.  I turned around to lock the
door and when I turned back, to my delight she had already taken off
her shorts and was removing her panties.   Again I helped her to climb
up on the seat and this time when I started to touch her gently, she
took hold of my wrist with both her hands and pressed my hand harder
into her groin.    Of course I cooperated and she seemed to get quite
excited by it and I have to confess that I was in seventh heaven.   I
did manage to persuade her to play with my penis but she really seemed
to prefer me touching her.

After that occasion, whenever we met, she always wanted me to "play"
with her, regardless of where we were, or what we were doing.   Her
enthusiasm was such that at times it caused a near disaster and in
fact, I can remember one occasion I went to see her older brother at
their home and happened to meet her in her father's garage/workshop.
Her father was working in a room only few feet away, but before I
realized what was happening, she had lifted her dress and was going to
remove her panties.  I was fortunately able to stop her or I may have
been in serious trouble.

This pretty young girl was most unusual in that she seemed to derive a
huge amount of pleasure from our juvenile sexual contacts.   I don't
think she ever had an orgasm but she certainly seemed to enjoy the
contact.  I have to say that I don't remember any other girl since who
derived so much enjoyment from my "activities.   These contacts
continued for most of that year and I managed to find an opportunity
every week or so to take her to the Toilet or into a nearby clump of
trees that provided some privacy.   At times she would come and seek me
out and on the rare occasion when I was not free she seemed quite
disappointed.  Regrettably after about 10 months, she suddenly lost
interest and no longer wanted to play my "games".

I was totally devastated at loosing that playmate, so I set out to try
and interest her twin sister.  One afternoon my parents and two
brothers were away for the day and as I was home alone, so I walked
around the corner and invited back to my house to play.  She came a
little later and I we played for a while until I eventually I "popped
the question".  To my great disappointment I found that unlike her twin
sister, she was not the slightest bit interested, despite my best
efforts to get her to cooperate.  I tried all sorts of inducements, but
the only thing she would permit in the end was to briefly touch her
genitals through her panties.  I never did understand why one sister
was so agreeable when the other was not.

I have vague recollections that there were quite a number of minor
incidents after this that I cannot recall in detail, but the next major
event that I can remember was when I was about 9 or 10 when I went to
visit a friend after school.

At this point, I will apologize in advance if the following description
seems a bit clinical but it is this very thing that makes it remain so
vividly in my memory.

Arriving at my friend's house, I was met at the door by a very excited
boy who told that he and his older sister (who was probably about 13 or
14) had been playing "Doctors & Nurses" and that he had just found that
his sister had two holes.  I was most interested and as we went to his
bedroom and as I walked through the door, I was very totally surprised
to see that I was looking at his sisters exposed genitals only 6 feet
away.   She was completely naked, and was lying sideways on the bed
with her knees drawn up and her legs spread very widely apart.   This
allowed excellent access and enabled us to examine her genitals in
greater detail that any girl I had seen before.

We stood beside the bed and had a marvelous time with our noses almost
in her Vagina inspecting it in very minute detail.  The thing I noticed
immediately and can remember most vividly was that this strange
unexplained "hole" was extremely wet.  We still had no idea what this
hole was for, but we took turns playing with her.   I got a huge amount
of enjoyment from rubbing her "slit", and inserting our finger's in
her "hole", although one finger at a time was all she would allow.   I
would tickle her "bump" with my finger while my friend would work his
finger in and out of this "hole" then we would swap over.    I must
have been very sexually excited but I cannot remember what I did about
it, nor can I remember if she climaxed or not.   After about 40 minutes
she wanted to go to the toilet and to our huge disappointment she came
back dressed so our fun was over.

On several later occasions her brother and I tried to persuade her to
repeat the experience but to no avail.  About 6 months later they moved
to another Chapter of town and I lost touch with them.

COMMENT: In those years, few children had any knowledge of the names
for the parts of the female genitals and I had certainly never heard of
a Hymen.  The overriding memory I have is that, to my young eyes
her "hole" (Vagina) seemed huge, and I presume that if she had ever had
a hymen, somewhere she had lost it.  Her brother and I were able to see
deep inside her Vagina and insert a finger with no resistance at all.
My main overriding memory of this was that her Vagina was VERY wet and
as her tummy rose and fell as she breathed, her Vagina blew little
bubbles.   This may sound odd I know, but it is these odd things are
what memories are made of.

That occasion was also unusual as it had a number of things that made
its memory stay with me in vivid detail.  It was the only occasion
where someone else started it.  The first occasion that I participated
with another boy.  The first time I had seen a girl totally naked.  The
first girl I had seen that was starting to develop, as she had small
breasts with little bit of pale, soft pubic hair.  The only girl I met
where her clitoris protruded (slightly) from her labia, which I found
most fascinating, and lastly she was the first girl that allowed me to
insert a finger in her Vagina.



Chapter 3.   MID CHILDHOOD

Over the fifteen-year time period that I talk about here, there have
been many dozens of occasions where I had relations with young girls.

Most were a single brief encounter, but each of these described here
had something unusual about them that made them stay in my memory while
the rest are just vague shadows.   However, all followed a similar
pattern.  I would meet a girl somewhere and something about her would
make me think she may be amenable.  I would very carefully make
suggestions and, if agreeable find a secluded location (often, public
toilets or within dense clumps of bushes) and pull down her panties.  I
would then fondle her genitals and she may (or may not) do the same to
me, although I don't ever remember masturbating in front of a girl
until much later.  We would Chapter and more often than not, I would
never see her again

I find it interesting to recall how easy some girls were to persuade to
participate in my "games" and how difficult (or impossible) others
were.  Thinking back, it seems that I must have been the local
neighborhood "Sex fiend".  My two brothers never showed any such
tendency that I was aware of, and I frequently wonder what made me the
way I am.  At one time or another I must have tried to have my "way"
with every girl nearby and while some were successful, most were not.

About a year after this, our family I went on a 300-mile bus drive to
visit one of my mother's old school friends in another city.  This
family had two daughters that had been placed in one bedroom while my
brothers and I share one across the hall.  On the second day as my
brothers were playing outside and our parents were busy in another
Chapter of the house, it was not long before I was in their bedroom and
tentatively making suggestions.  The older one was not at all
interested, but the younger girl certainly was.  I can remember sitting
on her bed, and pulling the crotch of her panties to one side while I
gently rubbed her "slit".  While the older sister apparently
disapproved, she still sat on her bad and watched what I did with a
great deal of interest.  She never "told on us" which was rather
puzzling when I think about it now.

As the following day was very sunny, the two families went to the
nearby beach.  The older sister had a friend with her and as my
brother's were young, they had to stay near the adults and play in the
sand.  This meant that the younger girl and I were free to explore.
The beach was a very safe one and as the tide was a long way out, we
walked miles out on the tidal flats to investigate rock pools and
stranded fish.  I suddenly realized that we were well out of sight of
the shore and there was nobody nearby.  We stopped to investigate a
large rock pool and I asked if she would like to play "doctors" again.
She happily lay on the sand and spread her legs wide apart.  I was able
to pull the crutch of her swimsuit to one side and had a delightful
time playing with her genitals, which she again seemed to enjoy.

I suddenly remembered my puzzlement about how girls were able to pee
without a penis so asked if she could show me.  After all, we were
already wet and there was only sand under us.  She said, "You do it
first then I will".  I was able to pee to show her how boys "did it",
while she sat in the sand and watched me with considerable interest.
Her turn came so she squatted while I held the material of her swimsuit
to one side and within a few minutes, was able to oblige.  Regrettably
because she squatting and the swimsuit was partially in the way, I was
still not able to fully see where the stream of urine came from.  It
seemed to be from this mysterious, unexplained hole.   I now knew all
girls had this hole and I can remember wondering why it had to be so
big just to pee out of, when the end of my "cock" only had a tiny one.

Much to my disappointment we were unable to be alone for the rest of
our visit, so no further opportunities presented themselves.  I can
still remember how frustrated I was, having to return home and leave my
fun playmate behind.

On another occasion about this time I was involved in an interesting
role reversal and this was the only time in my early life where a girl
initiated the activity.  Two older girls that I knew slightly lived in
a nearby street said they had something to give me and would I call
around that afternoon after school.  I did so and when I got there I
was taken into what was obviously one girl's bedroom.  I was told that
it was a surprise, so I was asked to lie on the bed and close my eyes.
Suddenly the older sister held my arms while the younger started to
remove my shorts.  I was a bit frightened and started to struggle but
to avail, as they were larger and stronger than I was.  When they
started to play with my penis and testicles, I suddenly realized that
this was fun and lay back to enjoy it.  With a bit of persuasion on my
part, after a while the older one lifted her dress, removed her panties
and allowed me play with her genitals but would not allow me to insert
my finger in her "hole".  She quite well developed and this was my
first real experience of full female pubic hair.



Chapter 4.   BECOMING A TEEN

By now I was about 13 and had started masturbating, often 2 or 3 times
a day.  As I was older I had more freedom to travel around, and used to
frequent a very large park on the outskirts of town.  I should mention
that during my wandering around this park I used to spend considerable
time trying to see up girl's dresses to catch a glimpse of their
panties or trying to see them getting changed.    In fact this was the
main reason I used to frequent the area.

Near the main gate of the park was a small swimming pool.  I used to
hang out around this area to talk to girls that I met, but few
opportunities were available as this pool was very public with a lot of
people passing.

However about 200 - 300 yards away from the main public pool was a
small, shallow paddling pool used by mothers with young children and
was also used on occasion for paddling by older children.  I liked to
sit on the seats nearby because girls would often paddle in the pool
and to do this, the common thing as for them to tuck the hem of their
dress into the legs of their panties giving an almost bloomer like
effect.   Because of this I was often able to see their underwear and
this gave me quite a thrill.

Nearby, and fairly secluded by trees, was an old dressing shed
consisting of back to back male and female facilities.   Each half
consisted of a changing room and a single toilet cubicle.  This cubicle
was roofed, but the changing area was open so there was plenty of
light.   These areas were rather dilapidated and I had found a thin
horizontal gap just above head height in the wall between the two
changing areas.  When there was nobody around, I was able to stand on
the wooden form and use this gap to view in great detail what was
happening in the other side.  However as other boys often used the
changing rooms, I had to constantly be on guard so this option was
frequently not available, and I was in constant danger of being
caught.

However these buildings had been built very close to a large hedge and
the rear wall had been sheathed in old corrugated Iron.  I suspect like
all town councils, years before when these had been built ours had
saved money by using second hand iron.  I had found that when nobody
was looking, I was able to push between the hedge and this wall and,
provided I was very quiet, nobody was ever aware that I was there.
Being used iron, there were quite a few nail holes in the wall so
whenever opportunity permitted, I would sneak between the hedge and
dressing shed and peer through these small holes.

On occasions I used to hide for sometimes up to an hour waiting until
girls came to get changed. I was often successful in seeing girl's that
were partially or completely nude, but as the holes were small my view
was rather limited.  However to my young teenage mind this was all
tremendously exciting and I would sometimes wait there for an hour or
more with my heart pounding to get a few minutes glimpse.  Once I saw
two girls of about 13 or 14 come in and get undressed and to my
excitement start to hug each other, then gently rub each others small
breasts.  This only lasted for a minute as they heard someone coming
and stopped to put their swimsuits on.

Shortly after this I came close to my undoing.  I used to talk to girls
that I met and carefully "sound them out", usually with only limited
success.  One day I met a girl of probably the same age or a bit
younger than myself.  We walked around the park while I talked to her
and eventually sat down on the edge of a small stream running one end.
At this point the stream was about 4 feet lower than the surrounding
park and the lawns sloped down to the stream edge.  There was nobody
nearby, while ahead there was only bare lawn.  It was over 200 yards to
the nearest houses, so we really could not be seen.  She didn't refuse
any suggestions that I made so I soon had the crotch of her panties
gently pulled to one side while I played with her clitoris and vulva.

She seemed almost impassive and strangely didn't seem to either like or
dislike what I was doing.  I found this very odd when I thought about
it later, but I was to busy enjoying myself at the time to worry.  She
was the only girl that I "played with" that seemed like that.  Most
were either definitely "NO" or were very willing and seemed to enjoy
the experience.  When we finished I asked her to meet me there the
following day.  She agreed and I rode home on my bicycle with great
expectations for the next day.

About an hour later my brother came home and told me a lady was looking
for a boy who had interfered with her daughter.  He said that the
description had sounded like me.  Of course I denied this and I told
him I had not been near the park.  The girl had obviously told her
mother and, as she could not find me, she had told this group of boys
(my brother was one) to tell "the boy" if they found him, that she was
going report him to the school headmaster.  I was physically sick with
worry for the next three days but nothing happened.  I can only assume
that the parents decided that it was not very serious and elected not
to pursue the matter.  However this put a damper on my activities and I
kept well clear of the park for many months.  This was very
frustrating, as this had been my favorite happy hunting ground.

I seem to remember that I was about 14 and it was the following summer
when I felt it safe to return to the park, but no opportunities
presented themselves for quite a number of weeks.  The next occasion
also occurred at the park and was memorable because it was the only
time I got involved with a boy and girl together and if I remember
correctly, the first time I masturbated in front of a girl.

One day I was near the paddling pool and saw a girl and boy sitting in
one of the many picnic seat seats that were scattered around.  These
were made of cast concrete with room for two to sit and had a small
table in front to eat from.  In fact, they looked not unlike old-
fashioned school desks.  The table had a modesty skirt down the front,
which I always regretted as it concealed any chance of looking up
girl's dresses.  As they appeared to be very close and looked as if
they were touching each other, I wandered over and after talking to
them for a few minutes, I asked if they were playing "mothers and
fathers".  They said, "No, we aren't", and although I was a bit
disappointed, I continued to chat about school and anything I could
think of.  I soon found that the boy was not her brother, but was a
friend from next door.  I suppose she may have been about 12 and he
could have been a year or two younger.   With my heart beating
furiously, after talking to them a few minutes, I asked if they were
interested playing my game of "mothers & fathers".  They looked at each
other, hesitated for a few seconds and then said "yes".  I can still
remember my heart felt as if it had jumped into my throat.

Back in those days, the park was on the outskirts of our small town and
because it was very busy that day, I had no idea where to go, so I led
them to the most remote Chapter of the park and a small rear exit.  We
rode on our bicycles away from the town where I hoped to find a
secluded spot outside the park.    On the road away from the town were
some old fashioned very large, deep drains that were surrounded by
weeds.  This gave me an idea and, as one Chapter of the drain looked
dry and accessible I jumped in to have a look.  Deciding that it was
suitable, I lifted my bike into the ditch, followed by theirs, and then
helped them down.  The drain was 5 feet deep at that point, and as high
weeds surrounded it, cars could pass only 6 feet away and not see a
thing.

This was the first time I had attempted this sort of activity with a
boy present so I was a little cautious.  First I said that "to be sure
they knew what we were there for, I would show them inside my
trousers".  I pulled the top open and my underpants down and they both
looked, but of course my genitals were only partially visible.  I asked
if they still wanted me to remove my trousers.  They both said "yes",
so I pulled then and underpants down.  Of course by then I had a full
erection and the look on the young girl's face is one I have never
forgotten.  It was absolute amazement and I suspect almost a little
terror, as her eyes nearly seemed to pop out.  She had obviously never
seen an erect penis before and she could not seem to take her eyes off
it.

Having got that far, I asked her young friend to open his trousers so
she was able to see his immature penis, which was quite flaccid.   I
reached over and gently started to rub it and made grow a little
larger.   I explained that it was smaller and only grew a little bit
because he was a lot younger than I was.

I then asked her to remove her panties but she suddenly went shy and
didn't want to.  I started to gently cajole her, saying "it was not
very fair as we had both showed her our penises but she would not show
us her slit".  After about 15 minutes of careful persuasion, she
finally agreed to the flip of a coin.  Heads - she would do it and
tails - we would leave.  I had suggested this as a last resort and
promised to abide by what happened. .  With much trepidation I flipped
the coin and can I remember that I was shaking so much that I dropped
it and had to try again.  To my enormous relief it came up heads, but
even after this she was still very reluctant, so I tried to think of a
way to make it easier for her.  I suggested that she remove her panties
but leave her dress down so we could see nothing until she was ready.
She was very hesitant but in the end did so and pulled her panties
completely off while keeping her dress covering her genitals.

Once we got that far, I suggested that she lift her dress up and down
very quickly.  She did this once, and we had a tantalizing glimpse of
her pretty young genitals.  I said, "it was easy wasn't it" and praised
her.   With a little more prompting, she was persuaded her to do it
again and again, each time holding her dress up a little longer.  After
a few minutes of this, she held her dress fully up for us to both to
look.  Wanting to go further, I said, "She was kneeling so we were
unable to see her slit properly".  (The word 'Pussy' had not entered
our vocabulary at that stage).  As I had a long overcoat with me, I
suggested that she lie down on that so we could look at her better.  I
placed the coat on the ground and, with a little encouragement; she lay
down and parted her legs.  I suspect she thought we were just going to
look, but I immediately reached out, pulled her knees aChapter and
touched her slit.  This made her start and she immediately sat up and
closed her legs.   I persuaded her that I was not going to hurt her and
eventually she relented and lay down again, and after a few minutes of
very gentle fondling, seemed to quite enjoy the sensations and spread
her legs even further to allow better access.

I asked the younger boy if he wanted to touch her but he said that he
would just watch so my delightful game went on for about 15 or 20
minutes.  By then I was getting very uncomfortable so I mentioned that
I could make some "white stuff" come out of my penis and "did they want
to see this happen".  They both seemed interested and I masturbated
into my hand.  By this stage I was aware that I could get girls
pregnant, and as the intense sexual urges had now subsided, I suggested
that we should stop and leave.  Surprisingly she said she did not want
to, and asked me to tickle her genitals again.  I was not prepared to
risk touching her in case I still had semen in my fingers, so I
suggested that we meet again the following week, to which she agreed.
We dressed and after making sure no cars were coming, I helped them out
of the ditch and we left and made our own way home.   On the way back,
I realized that I did not even know her name

The following Saturday I was full of excitement and rode to that park
as soon as I could get away from my chores.  After looking for about 40
minutes, and thinking she was not coming, I found her walking with a
pram.  To this day I can still remember my incredibly intense feelings
of disappointment.  She told me that she was babysitting her new sister
and her mother had told her to take her baby sister for a walk in the
park.   All we were able to do was to sit on the original picnic seat
to talk and with her agreement, I was able to put my hand under her
dress and briefly touch her genitals through her panties.  She said she
had to return home and after she had gone I realized that I still
didn't know her name and despite searching the park all summer, I never
saw her again.  I often wondered where she is now.


Part 2 to follow
