The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest
=========================================
Issue 21


Contents
  Hal (M/m)
  Roy (F/m M/m)
  Hawkeye (m/f m/f)
  A Word From Rank
  News
  Incest in the Media

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

From: Hal

I am a son that has had sex with his dad.  This story is lengthy,
but it needs to be in order to capture the events that led to our
sexual experience together.  Over the years, many men have asked
me questions about my relationship with my father.  I think this
story explains it all.

My story began in 1978 when I was 16 and a sophmore in high
school.  I was very horny and definitely gay but had not had sex
with anyone yet.  I used to masturbate 2-3 times a day.  I bought
Playgirl and Hustler magazines to masturbate with.

One day I walked into my very good looking 48-yr old dad's
bathroom and there he was stark naked.  I was immediately aroused
by his hairy body and fat cock and balls.  I stared and stammered
and he talked to me but I didn't hear a thing because I was
completely focused on his cock.  I believe that moment planted
the seed in his head that he had a queer son, which might become
useful someday.

About a week later, he and I were the only ones and home.  It was
a Saturday morning.  I took a shower and was drying off when
someone knocked on my door.  I knew it was my father so I opened
the door.  I was as naked as he was previously.  His eyes went
right to my cock!  I got very nervous but didn't move.  I wanted
him to see my large cock and be proud.  But I started getting an
erection so I put a towel around myself.

After he left he patted me on the back and said let's do
something tomorrow son - just me and you.

The next day we went for lunch in the park together.  Dad told me
it was time to tell me about sex.  I already knew everything but
I let him speak.  He explained what men and women do sexually and
why.  He asked me if I had any questions but I was too afraid to
bring up my gayness at that point.

My dad than confided in me that he had looked outside of his
marriage with my mother for sex a few times because she had
turned frigid.  I wasn't comfortable talking about my mother's
sexuality but I was curious about his.  I asked him if it had
been the right thing to do and he told me that he was an
extremely sexual and horny man and loved sex.  So he had no
choice. He said he would not divorce my mom over it.

About 3 days later, I was beating off in my room late one night
and the door opened.  I jumped up in fright.  It was my dad.  I
had about 3 playgirl mags on my bed and was bare naked with a big
erection.  He was smiling and reaked of gin.  He asked me what I
was doing.

He saw the mags.  I figured this was it!  He would now know I was
queer  and that I loved cock.  Time for a serious sermon.  How
wrong I was to be afraid.

Dad told me that I had a nice cock - just like his.  He then said
that he suspected that I was queer.  He asked me if I liked men.
I answered Yes. He asked me if I had ever had sex with men.  I
said I had not.

Well then he said, if you promise to keep this a secret, I will
let you suck my cock anytime you want.  He unzipped his pants and
pulled out a beautiful piece of meat.  Well? he asked.  Come over
son and get to know your father's dick.

I got down on my knees and kissed his big hairy cock.  I held it
in my hand and watch it grow.  Then I licked it. I kept licking
it and then I put it in my mouth.  Dad moaned and slowly pushed
his cock deeper in my mouth.  It was so thrilling!  I was so
aroused.

Dad fucked my virgin mouth for about 10-15 minutes until he let
off a huge wad of cum.  I spit the cum out because I didn't know
how to swallow yet. When it was over he asked me how I felt.  I
told him I liked the sex but would be afraid if anyone ever found
out.  He agreed that it would not be good if anyone learned of
this so we must never mention it, just do it whenever we were
horny.

Well, I was to find out that I had a father that was as horny as
a 16-yr old.  I was sucking him every night.  He taught me how to
lick and suck his balls and eat his cum as well.  He bought me
gay magazines and told me to study the way men have sex.  The
sucking went on for about 6 mos.  After 6 mos dad decided he
wanted to suck my cock.  So we added 69 into our relationship.  6
mos later, we were getting bored with our scenario.  Many of the
mags that dad bought me showed anal sex.  He asked me if I had t
hought about it and I said yes.  Dad told me he wanted to try it
soon so I should begin thinking about it.

One night we were having a session and dad pushed a finger in my
asshole.  It burned and caused me pain at first but as he sucked,
he pushed it in and out in a rhythm. I found myself loving the
feeling.  So we added finger fucking to our relationship.

A few weeks went on and dad was getting 3 fingers in my ass in a
session.  He told me that he wanted to penetrate me with his
penis and would I mind.  I told him I wanted to try it.

When the night came to try it, things were fairly disastrous.  I
was unable to take his fat cock up my ass without a lot of pain.
So we waited and he fingered me to exercise my hole.

One night he came in my room with vodka.  We drank the vodka and
sucked.  It was that night that I was able to loosen up and let
him fuck me.  It was awesome.  He fucked me in every position and
we both came multiple times.  I was thrilled!

We added fucking to our relationship and for the next 2 years had
regular hot sex, which fulfilled both of us.

When I left for college in another state, the sex ended.  I was
very permiscuous in college (I wonder why?).  And had sex every
weekend with men I met of picked up at gay bars.

When I returned home for holidays my dad and I would have sex but
it wasn't like it used to be.  I wasn't into it with him like I
had been because I was dating some very nice men, and it just
seemed really abnormal to be having sex with him again.  I told
him how I felt and he understood.

Today I am 34 and have been in a monogomous relationship for 3
yrs.  My My lover does not know about the relationship I once had
with my father.  I have never told anyone about it except online
anonymously.

My father is 68 and looks pretty good for his age.  I only see
him about 6 times a year and he never mentions what we did.  He
is still married to my mother.  He more or less acts as if it
never even happened.  But it did, and sometimes I think back to
it and think how much fun it was.

In retrospect I think we did what we did because we were both
horny men.  As a gay boy, I was not going to turn down the
opportunity to suck dick.  I believe my father was/is a bisexual.
I was the most comfortable choice for him to try out his
bisexuality.  As far as I know, he has not had sex with other
men; however, I might be wrong because how the hell do I know
what he does on his spare time.  If he wanted to fuck for old
times sake I would be more than willing!

Hope you liked my story. It's not every son that gets to share
such intimacy with the man whom they call Dad.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

From: Roy

Hi, my name is Roy and I am 45 years old. At the age of 4, or at
least as far back as I can remember I was involved in incestrial
relationships. Starting with my Grandfather and mother. Latter
extending to my brother and 10 of my cousins. I eventualy found
out that my grandfather was actualy my biological father and that
one of my cousins is actualy my half sister. By the time I was 8
years old, if I didn't feel like doing, I was getting paid to
perform sexual favors. I didn't find out about my Mother and her
Father's relationship until I was much older. Now that I think
back about it I realize that my Mother knew what was going on
from the the start, or she would't have let me spend night
sleeping with the man that fathered me. Knowing that was quite
hard on me and has been very hard to deal with. My Grandfather
(Father) use to always say I was his boy. Now I know what he ment
by that. I didn't know back when I was young that he was doing
things with his other grandchildren. I thought I was the only
one. I was the only one that use to sleep in his bed regularly. I
slept with him more than I ever slept alone between the ages of 3
and 12. If you would like to here more about my childhood as a
sex toy please Email me.

[no response as yet]
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

From: Hawkeye

When i was 7 and my sister was 8 we had an experiance together
and it was the most terrible and traumatic experiance of my life.
It started when my parents befriended another couple at my
father's place of business.  The other couple also had a son and
a daughter about our age.  I dont know where these children
learned the things they did, but it was obvious that they had
learned about sex somewhere.  What they knew was far from
"playing doctor" or simple examination of each others genitals.
My sister and myself knew nothing about any of this and it was
all new and appeared to be just like another game.

Eventually, we paired off.  Me, with the other girl, and my
sister with the other boy. I remember taking my erect penis and
sliding it up and down the girls' small hairless vagina.  It was
incredible!  I realize now that i had an orgasm.  Of course,
there was no ejaculation, but just the same, i felt the immense
tingling at the base of my abdomen that is a normal result of
having an orgasm and cumming.  I was in heaven.

Whenever these other two childen came over, we would pair up the
same way always.  I never asked my sister what happened with her,
but i am sure it was probably similar activities.  Well, one day
i was at home (if memory serves) and me and my sister started to
get it on.  She told me that she didnt want to, but i said that
it would be fun.  She said that mom and dad would get mad, but i
ignored it and continued.  I basically did to her what i did with
the other girl (just slide up and down).  And i had an orgasm
again. It was very good.  I was a child, and all i knew is that i
liked what i felt. There was no morality or taboo issues.  It
just felt good and i didnt know any better.

One day, out of a naive and innocent idea that she thought she
might get pregnant, my sister told my mom what was going on.  My
mom in turn told my father (the biggest mistake in my lifetime).
I remember my father ordering me into his room with my mother
sitting on the other side of the bed.  He pushed me on to the
bed.  The only quesiton that i can remember him asking me is if i
"...put it in.".  I quickly retorted out of fear "no".  I saw
light, and heard an eerie brushing sound come from the side of my
head. Then the pain. Then i opened my glassy eyes and saw his
fist balled up with his education ring spearheading his hand.
Over and Over.  The pain was not the worst part.  It was the
shame.  I dont think that he knew that my sister and i had any
sexual contact, but he told me that i was an animal and that what
i was doing was disgusting.  I remember him saying, "now what am
i going to tell those children's parents?"  He blamed me, and so
did i. Put yourself at that delicate mental age.  It crushed me.
He was my idol, and i became less than nothing.  Later on, after
i had seen a psychologist, i realized that it was not my fault
and that my sister and i were the victims of a mild form of
molestation by children that were older than we were.

To this day i still suffer the pain that was etched on my soul.
I still have erection problems with some women (which is really
embarrassing) until i feel comfortable with them.  I think it is
because in a way, i still feel that the act is innately bad.  The
point is, my incestuous experiance was not a good one.  Ill never
recover and i still see that light and still feel the shame in
one form or another (although you could never tell).

Another collateral result was that, after that day, i distanced
myself from my sister and was not the loving brother that i could
have been.  My father was an animal and shamed me and my sister
many times after that (not sexually).  I wish i could have been
there for her because she, as a young girl, was much more
delicate than i.  I just felt that i was bad and should not touch
her at all.  For the most part, that has changed now.  We are
very good friends and get along very well.  Sometimes life is not
fair.  We must protect each other when we can.
 
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

A WORD FROM RANK
I want to hear from you if you have had sexual contact with a
family member, and what impact that had on your lives.  The
story doesn't have to be very long, or detailed, or even
sexy.  Just let me know:

        ...with whom (sister, father, niece, in-law)
        ...at what age
        ...who initiated the activity, and
        ...how you feel about it now
 
Your confidentiality will not be compromised.  Your story will
only be used to continue these postings.  If you would like
to share your story, please send mail to RankAmateur@writeme.com.


NEWS

The long wait since the last new issue was due to my search for
a) a lifetime e-mail address and b) a www home for my humble opus,
to relieve me of the need to repost.

I have obtained rankamateur@writeme.com as a permanent, lifetime
e-mail forwarding address.  This is a (currently) FREE service 
provided by iname.com, one of a handful of companies in this 
field.  Check out the service at www.iname.com.  You can get a
variety of addresses -- some require payment.  Note carefully 
that this is NOT a guaranteed method of privacy -- I got "bounces" 
that disclosed my rankamatr@aol.com address, which is NOT secret.
But if it had been, I'd have been screwed.  You must also disclose
your real personal info when signing up.  So far, though, I'm 
satisfied with this service.  I hope they last MY lifetime!

The Thoroughly Disreputable Incest Digest is now on the web!
Thanks to the efforts of Eli the Bearded, moderator of
<a href="news:alt.sex.stories.moderated">alt.sex.stories.moderated</a>,
you can now find the first 20 issues at the following addresses:

<a href="http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/387">Issue 01</a>
<a href="http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/388">Issue 02</a>
<a href="http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/389">Issue 03</a>
<a href="http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/390">Issue 04</a>
<a href="http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/391">Issue 05</a>

<a href="http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/432">Issue 06</a>
<a href="http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/433">Issue 07</a>
<a href="http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/434">Issue 08</a>
<a href="http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/435">Issue 09</a>
<a href="http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/436">Issue 10</a>

<a href="http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/465">Issue 11</a>
<a href="http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/463">Issue 12</a>
<a href="http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/464">Issue 13</a>
<a href="http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/466">Issue 14</a>
<a href="http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/467">Issue 15</a>

<a href="http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/502">Issue 16</a>
<a href="http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/503">Issue 17</a>
<a href="http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/511">Issue 18</a>
<a href="http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/504">Issue 19</a>
<a href="http://www.netusa.net/~eli/erotica/assm/Year97/505">Issue 20</a>


INCEST IN THE MEDIA
There was a brief flap over the book _The Kiss_ by Kathryn Harrison,
an author who has written in the past about incest issues.  This 
is her personal account of her adult affair with her father, which
lasted several years and haunts her still.  The reviews were not,
generally, good.  Many critics felt that it was inappropriate for
her to disclose this story, and that perhaps at some high-culture
level, it was mere publicity-seeking since her previous books had
not been great successes.  I don't know and I can't judge; I haven't
read the book yet (perhaps I should add book reviews to the digest!).
What I do find interesting is that discussion of incest has moved
beyond the child-molestation phase and we're seeing a return of
what you may call Freudian incest.  (Remember that Freud made a
splash a century ago by concluding that the "hysteria" -- today we 
might call it depression or anxiety -- of his female patients was 
due to having had affairs with their fathers.)  And perhaps, as 
some charged, this is merely the end result of a decade of talk 
shows competing for our attention: nothing shocks.  I am rather 
suspicious that the people buying that book are people like you 
and me, that is, with an erotic interest in incest, rather than 
survivors.  It's almost as though the telling is more important 
for the person who went through it, rather than anything that 
might come out of the tale.

Another book of interest is her _Exposure_, about a woman whose
famous-photographer father took a critically acclaimed series of
nudes of his then-teenage daughter.  In effect, she is going 
through life with her every secret revealed.  This novel was
very highly regarded at the time, unlike _The Kiss_.

Unexpectedly home on Friday night (okay, I didn't have a date), I 
found myself watching the new Larry Hagman drama _Orleans_.  To
my surprise it was nothing at all like Dallas; the producer is 
John Sacret Young, of _China Beach_ fame, and it's a very well
done family drama mixed with some politics and policing.  I highly
recommend it on that basis alone.  My other surprise was the 
plotline of that episode, which was an adult woman's marriage,
despite her heartbreak over her true love -- her cousin (and in
practicality, a brother, since they had grown up so close).  It
was handled as something they both accepted but needed to keep
secret.  Not shameful, perhaps, but at least very embarrassing.  
I don't know when it will run again, but watch the airwaves.












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From: rankamatr@aol.com (RankAmatr)
Subject: NEW: Have you ever committed incest? #22

