#### Married... With Children:

### Magic Tricks

#### By Uncle Mike

##### NOTICE: The Author retains all rights to this story.
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Bud Bundy brushed back his greasy black hair as he stumbled down the stairs to the living room. It was his birthday. For most teenagers, hell, for most people under 30, birthdays are something to look forward to.

But not for Bud. His dad was usually too cheap to buy him anything. His mom was too lazy and too stupid to bake a cake. And his sister -- well, Kelly usually gave him something, but it was mostly grief.

Then there was this year. This year was going to be different. He had started making his plans months ago, when the idea first came to him. It had taken long preparation. Getting the right materials. Practicing. What was worse, practicing in front of the family, where everyone could see him fail. But that was an essential part of the plan. They had to believe it he was serious. And what better way than to open himself up to even more ridicule than usual?

And now, it was time. Now was the start of things he'd been looking forward to for so long. He smiled to himself as he felt his cock rise a bit in his slacks just at the thought.

It was a weekday, so his dad was at the shoe store, sticking his nose into other people's smelly feet. And his mom was out -- well, wherever it was she went.

But Kelly was home. Kelly was his sister, the kind of young woman for whom the term "slut" was invented. Hell, Kelly was a slut's slut, Bud thought. Always wearing hooker clothes, her boobs sticking out, her cunt wet from one guy's cock and already looking for the next one.

Like now. There she was on the couch, her legs splayed like she was getting it already. Tube top, no bra, her tits bulging out above the elastic, her nipples pressing bumps into the hot pink fabric. Bare stomach, short-short blue spandex mini doing little to conceal the view of her long, shapely legs encased in sparkly red nylons. Fire-engine red pumps with six-inch heels. Lipstick cherry red -- the only cherry she had left. Blond hair billowing out around her head. Bud licked his lips quickly before she noticed him.

"Hey, it's the birthday eunuch," she said brightly, patting the worn-out sofa cushion next to her. "Celebrating another year of your miserable life! Come on, I've got a present for you."

He had to make it look good, so Bud swallowed his glee and gave his face a hang-dog look. "Aw, geez, Kel," he muttered. "Not again. Every year I get all excited and every year you give me some rotten present. Not this year. I'm not gonna do it. So just forget it."

"Why, Bud Bundy," she pouted, her lips forming sultry curves. "I'm hurt. Well, OK, maybe I have been a little hard on you. But not this year. This year I got you something really great!"

Bud did a calculated double-take. "R-really? Something good?"

"Absolutely."

"Well, let me have it!"

She pulled a box sloppily wrapped in tinfoil from under the couch. "Condolences for your loss," it said on the card. He looked at it, then at her. "Well, it was all I could find in the drawer," she said. "Go on, open it."

Bud shredded the foil, uncovering a pale green box marked "Ferguson's Prime Dates."

Puzzled, he pulled it open. The fruit squatted in individual brown paper cups.

"Get it?" Kelly was giggling loudly. "Dates! 'Cause you couldn't get one any other way!" She poked him in the ribs. "Dates!"

"Uh, yeah, funny, Kel," Bud said through gritted teeth. Inside, he was furious, but he couldn't afford to let his anger show. Not yet.

"Oh, wait, there's more," his sister said, pulling out a much smaller package, also done up in wrinkled foil.

More cautiously this time, Bud peeled away the foil. He revealed a package of condoms. He looked up at Kelly.

"To use on your dates!" she shrieked, hugging herself as she sailed off into gales of laughter.

Bud forced a thin smile as he waited out her guffaws. Finally she settled down, although she did erupt in a broad smirk once or twice.

"Thanks, Kel," he said. "That's funny. Condoms for my dates." He slipped the thin package into a hip pocket. I'll need those later, he thought to himself. How sweet of her to provide them.

"Uh, hey, Kel?" She had started to get up off the couch; now she sat back down.

"Yeah, what?"

"Uh, since it's my birthday and all, could you do me a favor?"

She rolled her eyes. "God, Bud, I already gave you two presents. What more do you want?"

"Well, could you -- could you help me with one of my magic tricks?"

His sister groaned. Bud had been tormenting the family with magic tricks, always begging someone to pick a card, hold two ends of a rope, or do something. He'd heard all their jokes -- like, this time, could his trick be to make himself disappear? He'd swallowed it all, biding his time. Now, as Kelly formed her answer, Bud desperately hoped he hadn't gone too far, hadn't driven them all so crazy that she'd never say yes.

"I really should be leaving," Kelly said at last, eyeing the door.

"Aw, please, Kel?" Bud forced himself to whine. "It is my birrrrthday."

His sister shifted away from him. "I really have to ..."

Bud switched tactics, hoping to catch her off guard. "I could -- I could make it worth your while."

"You!" Kelly snorted. "What could you do for me?"

"I could tell you at what garage Bill Parker is going to be tonight at seven," Bud said, looking her straight in the eyes.

"Who?" Kelly's voice affected a disinterested tone, but Bud saw the flicker of interest in her eyes. He'd hooked her.

"Bill -- oh, well, if you don't even know him ..."

"Parker? Parker?" Kelly feigned a search of her mind. Wouldn't take long, Bud snickered to himself. "Oh, yeah, I think I know him," she said. "Why would I care where he was going to be?"

Bill was a studly football player that, Bud knew, Kelly had been drooling over for months. He had his own set of friends at school, though, and Kelly hadn't been able to break in. Bud knew his sister wouldn't want to pass up a chance to get him alone.

"Oh, I don't know," Bud said aloud. "If you really don't care..."

"No!" Kelly said, quickly. "I mean, well, maybe -- OK. What would I have to do?"

Bud smiled. "Just follow me."

He could barely contain himself as he went up the stairs. It was working! Just a few more minutes and there would be no turning back. He had a brief moment of doubt, but then he thought about what was ahead and, as his cock rose, his fears disappeared.

"Lie down on the bed," he told his sister, pushing open the door to his bedroom.

"Bet you never said that to any other girl," she snickered, but she did as he said, putting her blond head on the pillows. "Now what?"

Bud slipped on the dopey black cape he'd been using to turn himself into Bundini the Magnificent. "I just need a couple of props," he said, rummaging in a dresser drawer.

He pulled out a shiny pair of handcuffs. "I bet you know how these go on, huh, Kel?" He permitted himself that little bit of sarcasm. Kelly, probably thinking about getting Bill Parker, said nothing and allowed Bud to snap the cuffs over her wrists.

Then he slipped a loop of red and black bungie cord over one of her ankles, and repeated the motion with another cord around the other foot.

"You're not going to do anything stupid, are you?" Kelly seemed a little uncertain. "You've got the key to these cuffs, right?"

"Sure, Kel," Bud said, attaching first one cord and then the other to the foot of his bed, pulling her legs apart.

"Good, 'cause -- hey, what is this?" Kelly tried to sit up.

"Haven't you been in this position before?" Bud was moving toward the head of the bed now. "I bet you have."

Kelly's eyes flared. "Just what are you ..." Before she could finish the sentence, Bud had grabbed her hands and yanked them up, slipping the cuffs around a hook he'd screwed into the wall. His sister was helpless now. She could move her legs only a little, just enough to bend her knees a few inches.

"Hey, this hurts," she cried, tugging at the cuffs, which dug into her wrists. "Come on, let me go."

Bud said nothing, looking down at her with a widening grin.

"Come on, you twerp," she said sharply. Bud frowned. "I mean, come on, my wonderful magician brother," she tried. "Let me go."

"I don't think so, Kel," Bud said, pulling off his cape. "Not quite yet. I haven't done my magic trick yet. You're gonna like this one, Kel."

Kelly pulled fiercely at her restraints. "LET ME GO!" she shouted.

"There's no one to hear you," Bud said quietly as he opened a drawer in his night stand. "But I don't really want to hear that screaming in my ear. Sorry I have to do this." He pulled out one of the red bandanas he used in some of his other tricks and swiftly knotted it around his sister's head as a gag.

Her eyes followed him as he stepped back from the bed, and she muttered furiously.

Bud took off his clothes slowly. When he pulled down his shorts Kelly redoubled her efforts to break free. The headboard banged against the wall, but she couldn't get loose.

"Now do you see my trick, Kel?" Bud reached into the night stand again and pulled out a leather-handled knife with a long, thin blade. He looked down at his sister, struggling on the bed. This was what he had been waiting for. Revenge for all those years of torment and teasing. And revenge in the way that she would best understand. His young cock was already thick and hard, bobbing in front of him, as he slid the knife carefully under her Spandex mini.

"Better not move too much," he told her. "I wouldn't want to hurt you."

Kelly froze as Bud slid the knife under the material. With a sizzling move he slit the skirt all the way up and across the waistband. Flipping it aside, he sliced down this time, opening up her panty hose.

Almost reverently he pulled the stretchy material down and chopped it in half, exposing her curly bush and the red folds of her slit. Bud drew the sharp point of the knife down the folds. Kelly flinched and a tiny drop of bright red blood appeared.

"Oh, now, see what you've done?" Bud lifted the knife. "I told you not to move."

Moving more quickly now, he ripped open the side of her top. The elastic pulled it apart and her large, firm breasts bobbled free.

Bud tossed the knife back into the drawer and crawled onto the bed beside his naked sister.

Gently he caressed her quivering body, his fingertips tracing the rise of her massive tits to her dark nipples, then down her firm stomach, through the curly hair to the folds of her cunt. He slipped a finger inside. She was almost completely dry, but in a few minutes of manipulation he had her wet and slick.

"That's great, Kel," Bud whispered to her. "Now you're nice and ready for me. Isn't this great?" Kelly twisted underneath him, but clearly most of the fight had gone out of her, at least for the moment.

"And I'm so glad you got me that birthday present," he said, dropping off the bed and pulling his slacks off the floor. "You know what they say about how if you sleep with someone you sleep with everyone they've slept with. And with you, that's pretty much everyone, isn't it?"

As he spoke, he pulled out the condom package, broke it open and slipped one over his engorged cock.

"Perfect fit, Kel," he said, getting back on the bed and kneeling between her legs. "What a thoughtful gift."

Bud looked down at her. Kelly's lush body was split open for him. Already he could smell the rich musk rising from her crotch. A thousand and one memories rushed at him of the times she'd ridiculed him. A hundred nights of masturbating in his bed, his eyes stinging with tears from Kelly's taunts about still being a virgin. And now, this.

Kelly had closed her eyes tightly. He had hoped to look in her eyes when he shoved his cock into her. Oh, well.

Bud crouched over his sister, licking her ample breasts, sucking on the nipples, burying his face in her cleavage, enjoying the moment.

But the raging hard-on sent a pounding message to his brain and he couldn't wait any longer.

Bud put the head of his dick to his sister's wet slit and pushed. It drove in easily and he was IN!

The emotions were so strong that he almost came immediately, even though Kelly had apparently decided to stay as still as possible and it was like fucking a corpse. But Bud held back, holding himself inside her for several minutes while he got used to the feeling.

And then he began to stroke. Kelly's cunt was not a very tight fit -- no surprise after all the guys she'd had -- but to Bud, having his first fuck, it was fantastic. The thin sheath of the condom did little to stop the incredible sensations as he pushed his cock into his sister's twat and then withdrew it slowly.

He pressed his hairless chest onto hers, thrilling to the feeling of her tits rubbing against him.

In and out, in and out he drove, until all too soon he felt the familiar surge and a blast of cum squirted out, flooding the tip of the rubber. Bud collapsed on top of Kelly.

A minute or two later, when he rose off her, Kelly opened her eyes. Bud saw the spark of hope in them, the thought that it was all over.

"Don't worry, Kel," he assured her. "That wasn't all. I got some great stuff from this mail-order catalog. It should have me hard again in no time."

And the cream worked, stinging his cock a little but bringing it back to full erection. Bud saw Kelly shut her eyes tightly and wince. He smiled.

Through all the planning, he had sometimes worried that actually doing it with Kelly wouldn't be as good as his dreams. What if she wasn't a good fuck? What if he started feeling guilty?

But now those fears were completely gone. Kelly's ripe body was everything he'd hoped, and he had enough memories of her jokes to banish any guilt. This was just going to be one hell of a fuck.

Again he drove his dick into her, and again she tried to hold still.

But as Bud continued to pound away at her cunt, Kelly began to return the motion, lifting her hips at his thrusts. Bud realized that a whore like his sister must really like sex; even getting raped wouldn't stop her from getting into it. The thought drove his lust even higher.

He slammed his cock into her sopping wet tunnel, pounding away. Faster and faster they went, 10 minutes, 20, a half hour.

Suddenly Kelly jerked stock-still, and then her body heaved up and down rapidly. An orgasm, Bud realized with a shock. He'd fucked her till she came! Frantically he increased his own speed until he felt his cum burst out again.

"God, that was great, Kel," he told her when he got his breath back. She looked him in the eye for a second and then looked away. That was OK, he thought. Give her time and she'd realize she didn't have to leave the house to get a good fuck.

Bud lay atop his sister's hot, sweaty body for several minutes, then got up to take a pee.

As he got back to his room, he heard the front door open. Quickly he slipped his clothes back on and pulled from the dresser drawer a paper bag that clinked as he lifted it.

"Mom?" he called, opening his bedroom door a crack. "Is that you?"

"Yeah, Bud," she shouted back.

Bud slipped out of the room, closing the door behind him, and raced down the stairs.

His mom was teetering on her high heels in the living room, bending over as she sorted through several shopping bags. Her wide ass was waving in Bud's face, tugging at the seams of her black miniskirt.

"Hi, Mom," Bud said as he skidded to a halt next to her.

She straightened up and turned to face him.

"Oh, hi, Bud," she said lazily. Bud's mom had huge tits, maybe twice the size of Kelly's, he thought, their round mounds bulging out of the deep V of her blouse's neckline. Bud forced himself to look away from them and up to her heavily mascara'ed face and the stiff cloud of dark hair.

"Did you get me anything for my birthday?" he asked eagerly.

"Your -- uh, sure, here," she said, digging into one of the bags. She came up with a rat-tailed comb in bright pink plastic. "Here you go. Happy Birthday, Bud."

Bud stared at it. He wasn't sure if he was going to be able to go through with this part of his plan, but that made it easier.

"Uh, thanks, Mom," he said. He turned away from her and then slowly spun back. "Uh, Mom? Could you help me with a magic trick?"

#### The End

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