Rogue Review  No. 86 - July 2, 1998

The Shed (Chapters 1 & 2) by Big T

Voy, F-solo, M-solo

Length: 4,500 words


  NOTICE

If you are easily offended or under the age of eighteen then please 
do not read what follows.


  SUMMARY

A twelve-year-old boy spies on an older girl.


  COMMENTARY

This story is jagged around the edges, but it shows potential.  The 
author does an excellent job of writing a story from a twelve-year-
old boy's point of view.  He captures the boy's apprehension and his 
excitement.

The story could stand to be edited.  There are quite a few sentences 
and paragraphs that I feel could be broken up into shorter ones.  
There are a few misspelled words.

These are only the first two chapters of a longer work.


  JUDGMENT

This is a good story, but it needs to be edited.


  LINK(S)

http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12423.txt

