A Review by Lee Vine

The Train Journey by Madeleine

M/F, Exhib

Length: 2,800+ words

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NOTES:

(1)  IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 THEN STOP READING NOW!!!!!
(2)  IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY DESCRIPTIONS OF NATURAL ACTS WHICH SOME 
PEOPLE CALL PLEASUREABLE BUT YOU REGARD AS NECESSARY FOR THE 
PERPETUATION OF THE HUMAN RACE THEN STOP READING NOW!!!!!!!
(3)  IF YOU AREN'T SURE IF EITHER (1) OR (2) APPLY TO YOU THEN STOP 
READING NOW!!!!

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Summary

Across the pond, a woman is riding a train.  She sleeps with one man.
She jerks off a conductor (and I ain't talking about Leonard
Bernstein).  She gets caught fingering herself and fucks a third guy.

Commentary

This story started off okay. I was into the main character's lust for
life (it was just life, wasn't it?).  My problem was the never ending
sex. I did not think she was going to set any new records in
promiscuity, but it did get rather mechanical.

"The Train Journey" is the first story this writer has published on
ASSM.  My advice is to make your stories about more than just sex. 
Sucking and fucking should be a part of them, if you are going to 
post them to ASSM, but IMO it should not be a substitute for a plot.

I have another piece of advice; format your story better.  Put a
blank line in between paragraphs.

Rating

I give this story a 3 on a scale of 10.

-- Lee Vine <santiago@switchboardmail.com>
