A Review by Lee Vine

Amanda by ShadowCleric

M/F, teen

Length: 1,600+ words

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NOTES:

(1)  IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 THEN STOP READING NOW!!!!!
(2)  IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY DESCRIPTIONS OF NATURAL ACTS WHICH SOME 
PEOPLE CALL PLEASUREABLE BUT YOU REGARD AS NECESSARY FOR THE 
PERPETUATION OF THE HUMAN RACE THEN STOP READING NOW!!!!!!!
(3)  IF YOU AREN'T SURE IF EITHER (1) OR (2) APPLY TO YOU THEN STOP 
READING NOW!!!!

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Summary

Boy and girl have been friends for a long time. Boy and girl are both
on the swim team.  Swim team goes to a meet in a distant town.  Boy
and girl take the opportunity to get buck naked and fuck.

Commentary

I liked this story.  There was a little build up.  The story gave
some background.  The narrator and Amanda were not in the sack from
the get go.  For a first attempt I thought it was a decent one.

It was a little short, but the author did pace the story.  The 
characters could have been fleshed out a little more.  My advice to
the author is to put these two characters in different situations,
both with and without each other, and show how the sexual tension 
affects them before having them jump in the sack together.

Rating

I give this story a 6 on a scale of 10.

-- Lee Vine <santiago@switchboardmail.com>
