Strapped

Adapted from situations suggested in the book, "My Darling Dominatrix", by
Grant Antrews and published by Rhinoceros Books, copyright, 1992.  

Prescript.

A word or two about this particular story and about the book it is based on. 
This book is about a man who meets and then falls in love with a beautiful
woman who later turns out to be professional and lifestyle dominatrix.  The
book is a love story in which he learns about his here-to-fore unexplored
submissive side while trying to be the man who provides for all her needs. 
For those who have not read it, I strongly recommend the book to you with the
following proviso.  There is not a happy ending.  There are three principal
dominant women in the story and bad things ultimately happen to all of them. 
In fact, I started writing some little stories like this around the plot of
the book to deal with some really emotional reactions and feelings about those
unhappy endings.  Suffice it to say, two of the women die horribly, the other
miscarries and her marriage of many years is affected.  Otherwise, a lot of my
beliefs about a D/S romance, for example that regardless of role, that both
players have to be strong enough to support the other, that both players have
to share the responsibility for the 'health' of the relationship and that open
communications transcend the scenes were reinforced by this story.  In fact, I
think that the 'submissive' in a committed relationship of this type may have
to be the stronger of the two, emotionally, if the pairing is to succeed.  You
may see these as a continuing themes in future stories of mine.

To set the scenario.  The players are Ned Ramsdell, Washington DC business man
and Viet Nam vet; Lady Jane Thompson, his lover and first dominatrix; Adrian,
Lady Jane's apprentice domme and sometime sub; and Mistress Megan Davenport,
dear friend of Lady Jane, a former Miss Ireland, an acknowledged expert with
the strap and, with her husband, Head of the Davenport Academy of Dominance
and Submission in England.  

Earlier in the book, Adrian was brutally gang raped while playing with a
friend at Jane's downtown DC dungeon and is only just starting to recover
physically, but is not doing so well mentally and is undergoing emotional and
psychological therapy.  

Jane's practice has been negatively affected because she lacks Adrian's needed
assistance in her scenes.  Megan came to visit and to assist with Jane's
regular clients.  In the course of the visit, Jane decided to offer Ned to
Megan to test his training.  Outfitted by Jane only in a leather chastity belt
and anal plug, Ned's service is from noon to midnight on a Saturday.  During
the day, Ned served her as a bath and body servant.  Megan explores Ned's
feelings for her friend, Jane, and generally discusses some subtleties of the
lifestyle for his edification. However, because Jane limited his service by
precluding oral sex or actual intercourse, he has refused to service her
orally.  This provides the opening for the strapping that was always Jane's
goal for the scene.  Mistress Megan tells Ned her intention to break him with
the strap, forcing him to worship her orally, and proving that she is superior
to his training, superior to his Lady Jane, even if it makes Jane hate her. 
There is not an account of the strapping in the book.  Rather, it is only
hinted at, with only the scene's finale discussed at all.  My story starts
with the last order from Mistress Megan to Ned prior to the strapping.  The
tale is told in the first person by Ned as is the rest of the book, and is
consistent with the ending of the strapping alluded to in the book.  The
details are my own.  This not a story about sexual love or even just plain
sex, it is rather, a story of triumph.

Strapped.  

"Go to the living room and assume your position on the couch.  I'll strap you
there.  Don't speak to anyone."  

I rose jerkily to my feet and bowing formally to the Mistress Megan, turned
and left the room.  The chastity's plug shifted uncomfortably as I carefully
descended the stairs.  When I walked through the family room, Jane intercepted
me.  I noted that she had changed into black leather pants, a  leather
brassiere/halter affair and her very tall black heels.  No surprise here. 
Obviously Jane knew what was coming, where it was going to take place and
wanted to be in for the kill, or perhaps the more correct term was, the
climax.  

"Well, darling, are you pleasing my friend?"  I glanced at the grandfather
clock.  Not yet midnight.  More games and another no win situation for me. 
My mind flashed back to eleven o'clock this morning, so long ago, when she
gave me my orders.  "You're to serve Mistress Megan from noon to midnight,
darling.  Don't disappoint me." and then Mistress Megan's "Don't talk to
anyone."   

Okay, I thought, and smiling ruefully, I stepped around her and continued to
the living room.  An outraged snort told me I'd probably pay for that later,
regardless of my reasoning.  That was part of the game, too.  I was sure of
that.  I wondered if Jane expected me to break and orally satisfy Megan so
that I could be taken to task for that, too?  I wasn't sure.  I certainly
wasn't sure about the hating Megan part.  I passed into the living room and
headed to the couch.  I stopped in front of it.  No restraints.  Whatever
came, I was on my own.  Well, I'll make it as good as I could.  I pulled the
couch out from the wall so I could kneel on the couch length wise and wedge my
feet and hands under the cushions to keep from breaking position, while
still giving Megan full access to my backside.

A furtive movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention.  Adrian. 
Almost the old Adrian.  She was outfitted in dominant dress; a black leather
miniskirt, a leather vest open to the waist, black seamed stockings and
heels; for the first time in my memory since the night in the gray house. 
The memory almost broke me.  Almost the same, but not quite.  She looked ....
, I don't know, almost lost, scared, more than a little fragile; like she was
looking for someplace to run.  From me or from what was going to go down
here.  All I knew was that we needed her back, all the way back.  "Welcome
back, sweetheart.  Don't worry about anything,  it'll be okay.  Trust me." 
With that, I climbed onto the couch to wait.

I did not wait long at all.  A tongue of white hot fire cut across my
buttocks.  "What did I tell you to do, Ned?"  Megan had arrived.  I looked
between my legs and saw her.  She had changed from her pink dressing gown into
a black garment that looked for all the world like a shiny leather Speedo
swimsuit.

"To come to the living room, assume my position on the couch and not to speak
to anyone, Mistress."

"And did you do as I told you?"  I answered that I had, in fact, spoken. 
Another blazing cut, this one just above my thighs.  "And what, if anything
do you have to say for yourself?"  

If this were any other session, and any other time, I'd have given the
expected answer of "Nothing, Mistress.", but I had already thrown the fat in
the fire and I had my own agenda for what was to follow.  Turning my head to
look directly into the very wide eyes of Adrian, I smiled as best I could. 
"Mistress, only that some things have to be said, regardless of the rules,
regardless of the penalty."  Adrian turned away suddenly and for a moment all
was quiet.  Well, I had just bought myself another reason to hold out.  I had
to hold out because Jane wanted me to, because Megan had said Jane would hate
her, and now, because I couldn't let Adrian down.   Suddenly, there was heavy
pressure on my neck forcing my nose and face into the cushions.  I could not
breathe.  Four rapid blows that seemed to cover every square inch of my now
flaming ass, top to bottom, told me it was not Megan. 

Jane's voice rang muted by thighs tightly around my ears, "He refused to
speak to me and he admits speaking in here.  It sounds to me as if your and
my training are being called to question here, Mistress."

"Well, I can't see how mine could be since I only had him a few hours, but
rest assured he'll see the light when I finish.  You know, Mr. Ramsdell, what
I want.  All you have to do is beg me for what I told you to do and I'll stop
and you can remove that silly appliance about your cock."  I remember thinking
that Jane had the key and that it was not bloody likely she would be so
disposed to unlock that infernal device after I had begged for and had
completed the task of orally worshiping and satisfying Megan in violation of
Jane's orders.

I felt myself starting to pass out from lack of air.  The pressure on my neck
subsided.  Jane shifted herself so that her weight was directly on the
cushions covering my hands and arms, effectively restraining me.  I could get
no leverage to move her or my arms.  Her crotch was now pressing against my
nose and mouth, still causing breathing restriction.   The world was starting
to spin.  I took a deep breath.  The scent of Jane's musk was strong. 
"Mistress, I can not do as you request.  My gift service to you is with
specific prohibitions on my behavior which I will not violate."

I could hear the sneering scorn in Megan's voice.  "Then I will simply have to
amuse myself in a manner that is not prohibited, won't I.  Present, Mr.
Ramsdell."  I lifted myself and waited to be taken to hell.  I was not
disappointed.

Time loses meaning during periods of extreme stress.  Many of my memories of
Vietnam are like that, particularly those memories associated with combat and
killing.  

Slips of memory, jumbled in no real order, are all I have of parts of the
next hour.  Wishing for the leather bit so I wouldn't bite myself.  Biting
into the cushion of the couch as a substitute.  Jane complimenting Megan on
her artistry and berating me for my childish yelling and crying.  Adrian
slowly becoming more involved, with flashes of her old wickedness.  Had to
keep going for Adrian.  Would Megan respect my safety word? Why should she
when Jane, who gave it to me, did not?  What was my safety word?

Adrian applying smelling salts to me, once, twice, I don't know how many
times.  Jane sitting on my hands so I could not move them, pulling my face
into her crotch so that every reflexive move of my head brought my nose in
contact with her pubic hair, into the moist, heated crease of her arousal. 
Those leather pants must not have a crotch.  Can't breathe well.  I can't
remember the stroke count.  Megan screaming for me to ask her, ask her.  Ask
her what?  To Quit?  I had, hadn't I?  Oh yeah, disobey Jane.  Can't do that,
can I?  Such a hot, red, fiery and lonely place to be in.  So alone.

I seem to hear Adrian yelling to Jane to look and to stop it.  Why should
Jane stop, she isn't doing this?  I started to clear a little.  The blows to
my backside no longer seemed to flame.  Noise and impact followed by cold,
deep numb pain.  Like my bottom belongs to someone else for a short period of
time after each blow.  The blows seemed to be coming faster and more
erratically now.

"Oh my God, Megan, what have you done?" I heard Jane scream.  "Megan, stop
for God's sake.  Look at him."  There were scuffling sounds, a woman's grunt
of pain and then, a momentary cessation of all sound.  I could hear my heart
beating and could feel its rhythm in the pulsing throb of my no longer numb
backside.

"Oh .... my .... God.  What have I done?"  was all I could hear of Megan's
reply.  

Suddenly, multiple hands were pulling me out of my crouch and onto my feet.  I
could barely hold myself up and I wished that I had not eaten earlier.  The
first thing I saw was Adrian's face.  She had gone absolutely white with
terror.  For all the world, she looked like Viet Nam vets I had seen suffering
from flashbacks to the war.  Adrian was very close to reliving the night in
the Adams-Morgan House, that brutal gang rape that had nearly ended her life
and that had crippled her friend.  I knew that if I broke down then, she'd go
back down into hell and might never make it back.  So I called deep within for
reserves I did not know I had, knelt before the Mistress Megan and kissed her
toes, the left as I had been taught, so that she might put her best foot
forward.  "Mistress, am I released from your service?"

"Oh, God, Ned, quit. I've hurt you, terribly.  That's not part of this, not
this badly.  Of course you're released."  Her voice was ragged with fear and
tears.

I thanked her, reassuring her and, at the same time, Adrian, that any session
I left under my own power was not that terrible. I crawled to Jane and kissed
her toes.  

"Mistress Jane, am I released from the day's service?"

She, too, was frantic, in tears.  She looked as if she thought I was lost. 
"Ned, please stand.  Let us take care of you."  I shook my head and crawled
over to Adrian and kissed her toes and repeated the question.  Tears filling
her lovely eyes, she nodded and sobbed out a yes.  I tried to stand and had
to have help. My stomach rolled and I swallowed back the nausea.  Once to my
feet, I shook off the helping hands and turned once more to Adrian.  

"Welcome back 'dangrus woman'."  I said with a smile I'm sure was a grimace. 
Adrian hugged me carefully. I hugged back. With that, I turned to Jane and
Megan.  I had to turn around completely because I couldn't bear to twist my
pelvis around.  "Please, excuse me, ladies."  And then, I turned and with as
much dignity as possible, shuffle walked out of the room.  Jane was right
behind me and once again, followed my injured backside up the long, painful
trek to the bedroom.  Jane entered the room.  "Please unlock the belt, Jane." 
Was that lifeless voice mine?  Jane ran to her dresser and came back to unlock
the small padlock.  She then unbuckled the front of the chastity.  The cup was
filled with urine.  There was no way to control the reflex under the strap,
particularly when I had fainted.  I think I came out of the faint having wet
myself the second time I went under.  I shuffled to the bathroom with Jane
hunched over the cup, trying to keep it from spilling.  She looked horrified. 
We emptied the cup into the toilet.  I vomited uncontrollably into the toilet. 
Jane helped support me as my stomach heaved and retched, and then gave me some
water to rinse my mouth.  Jane gently cleaned my penis and groin with a soft
wash cloth, to get rid of the odor.  Then Jane went behind me to remove the
butt plug.

The instant her hand touched my bottom I collapsed on the floor in agony. 
Jane pulled the plug free in one motion that brought me to my knees to flee. 
I tried to stand and could not.  I crawled toward the bed.  Jane was beside
me, walking on her knees, crying.  I fell to my side, relishing the
opportunity to be held again by the woman that I loved.  "Well, Jane," I
managed to croak, "In New York, you told me to buy you a gift.  Do you like
it?  I paid for it dearly tonight."  I was upset with her.  This was going to
lay me up for days.  It was that first horrible session in the room,
Simplicity, all over again.

"Damn you, Ned, What were you doing out there, tonight.  We aren't sadists. 
You very nearly got badly injured. Are you never going to use the safety word? 
Why do you think I gave you one, damn it?  This stuff gets intense and I'm
human,  Meg's human.  We can get carried away.  Why didn't you try and protect
yourself?"

I grimaced, "To what end, Jane?  The one time I used it with you, you did not
accept it and I ended up on the floor of Simplicity getting the "ultimate" in
order to get back in your good graces.  I did not even know if Megan knows
it.  You, yourself, told me not to disappoint you today.  And Megan's entire
goal was to make me disobey you in order to prove herself better than your
training.  And worst of all, you put Adrian in a position to see someone else
broken.  More than anything else, I had to persevere so she wouldn't see a
repeat of the night with Bambi.  You all combined to give me no hope of any
reprieve."

"God, Ned, that wasn't our intention.  We just wanted Adrian to wake up a
little.  And  Megan did know, or rather does know,  your word, since I would
never risk you with another person who did not know or would not respect that
vital aspect of this stuff.  Even if she didn't, I do know your safety word. 
I gave it to you, remember?  Don't you think I care enough to protect you and
to ensure you can protect yourself?"

"Jane, please understand that sometimes, like tonight, I don't fully
understand or know you.  I'm trying, but this is all so hard.  I know I have
to try, because to be without you is unthinkable, but I cannot say, that
based on my experience with 'snowball', that it would have done any good.  In
the second case, I don't think Adrian was ready.  I had to take it and I had
to walk away or the repercussions with her could have been catastrophic.  I
am as sure of that as I am of my name."

"Darling, you were wonderful, truly.  I can't believe you took it like that. 
Megan is completely flabbergasted.  And I do think you helped Adrian.  Now
come on, let's get you into my bed where you belong.  I'll put some ointment
on you and get you some aspirin."

After ministering to me, Jane went down to the other two women.  She came
back to say that they both wanted to see me.  I thought about it.  "I don't
think so.  I don't want Adrian seeing me until I get a little more of my
composure back and I'm not sure I want to see your friend Megan again,
period."

Jane sat beside me lightly so as not to shake the bed. "Ned, I understand and
I agree about Adrian, but, Ned, Megan is my friend.  She's frantic right now. 
She lost control, she very nearly hurt you badly and she knows it.  Please
don't punish her and me this way.  I love you.  I always will.  But I love
Megan, too, and if you can't forgive her, mend with her, I will lose her as
my best friend because this will always be there, between us."  It was a
plea.  So it comes to this, I thought.  I take the beating to keep from being
the potential wedge in their friendship and now, I have forgive and be
magnanimous for the same reason.  It came to the same thing.  I loved Jane
Thompson more than any such concepts as self.  I would do anything within my
power to make her happy, even this.

"I still don't want to see Adrian.  Tell her I'm asleep.  After she's asleep,
bring Megan in and I'll talk to her.  Wake me up if I am really asleep.  Is
that good enough?"  Tearfully, she smiled and nodded.  She left and came back
in a few minutes.  She laid down beside me and softly stroked me.  I nodded
off.

After what the clock said was an hour and what felt like seconds, I was
gently shaken awake.  I opened my eyes to see Jane standing beside the bed
with Megan.  Megan was wearing a long terry bathrobe and looking haggard. 
The dramatic makeup that I had helped to apply a few hours earlier had been
ruthlessly scrubbed off.  I motioned her to the chair beside the bed and
scooted around on my stomach so that I could meet her face to face.  Jane sat
down beside me on the bed. I decided to attempt a lighter tone.  "Hello,
Megan.  You should be more considerate of the work of other people.  You've
gone and ruined all my meticulous effort.  You look positively unkempt."  

She all but crumpled.  "My god, Ned, how can you joke about this.  You are my
best friend's lover and I nearly crippled you.  I've never seen anyone take it
like you did.  No one has ever taken that from me and walked away, telling
me to go to hell, that it did not matter.  You didn't react like anyone else
ever had and I just kept trying to get to you.  I lost control of what was
going on.   I lost control of myself.  Please, please say you forgive me.  I
can't tell you how ashamed I feel."

I couldn't stand to see this woman, so loved by my woman, in this condition. 
"Megan, its going to be all right.  I forgive you.  Jane loves you.  That
means you must be pretty special.  I know I'm going to love you, too."  A
twinge in my backside flared into pain.  I hoped I was going to love her.   "I
just may not be real fond of you for a few days."  I said ruefully.  "As for
you losing control while correcting me," I looked very significantly at Jane
who colored to her hairline, "it is not the first time that has happened to
me."

"Ned, Jane tells me you did not know or believe that I would respect your
safety word. Ned, if we ever do anything like this together again, I want you
to know that a safety word is a sacred trust to me.  I know yours, I would
have respected it and I will respect it if I ever entrusted with you in the
future.  You have to believe that. If a submissive doesn't trust the dominant
on that issue, it will only be bad for both. I may have gotten carried away,
but if I ever disregard that control, I will never again dominate another
person because I'll know I am not trustworthy."

I saw absolute conviction in her lovely eyes. "Thank you, Megan.  That means
a lot to me, as I'm sure that to be with this woman," I indicated Jane,
"means seeing you again.  I trust your word on this."  

She seemed to relax.  "Ned, do you want an opportunity to get your own back? 
Remember what we talked about, earlier?"  Her glance at Jane told me she was
talking about Jane's need for me to be able to spank and dominate her in
return.  "It might be easier for you to learn if you are already predisposed
towards doing it with me."  Jane looked completely confused.

I tried to grin.  "Quid pro quo?  I don't think so.  Two reasons.  First of
all, my reasons still stand as stated.  I'm not yet to the point where I can
see myself in that role.  Secondly, when and if I do, I'm not going to ever
do it in anything remotely like anger.  Megan, I forgive you, okay?  No
strings, no penalties.  Just be there for Jane and me when we need you."

Megan broke down again.  I started to crawl out of the bed to comfort her,
but Jane restrained me.  "Ned, you are incredible.  I hope you mean that. 
Thank you."  She came over to the bed and kissed me, then Jane and headed for
the door.

I grabbed Jane by the arm and whispered in her ear, "Go with her.  Make sure
she's okay.  I've seen that look too many times.  She needs to let off some of
that self destructive emotion.  She can't do it with me around because she
already feels too guilty."  Nodding, Jane left.

I never did find out what happened, but Jane was gone for almost a half hour
and was sweaty when she came back to bed.  I thought I might have heard a
squeal or two while she was gone. 

I fell asleep; held and petted by the most wonderful and beautiful woman in
the world. 



Postscript.

I hope you enjoyed my little extension of the story.  I would be interested
if anyone else felt disconcerted by this book.  The story would not have
bothered me as much as it did, if it was run of the mill trash.  

Thanks
Tigger