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From: jubal@flash.net (Jubal Harshaw)
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Subject: Story:  "A Passage into Life"  (M/F, M/F, Teen, Cons, First Time)  <*>
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Standard disclaimers:  This story is a work of fiction, no character
within is a depiction of any real person, living or dead.  No event
described within exists outside of the writer's twisted imagination.
It didn't happen.  But it could have.

Copyright retained by the author and this post is for private use of
the reader only.  

If this piece of fiction is indeed considered illegal for you to read
or possess in your jurisdiction, please destroy it immediately.





Passages of Life
Chapter 1

I knew I was driving to fast.  I just didn't care.  The old Ford was
never designed to slide around the back road curves this way.  I
wasn't paying attention to where I was going while taking turns at
random.  I'd been driving these roads long before I actually put some
slight stain of legality on the whole thing by getting my license.
Growing up in the 'country' had some positive aspects, and learning to
drive at the age of twelve was one of them.  All those years of
practice had left me able to anticipate the corners and turns without
actually thinking about them.  Most of the time, that is.

After nearly turning the car broadside coming around a sharp corner,
my sense of mortality reasserted itself and I stopped my Speed Racer
imitation.  A Ford XL coupe simply isn't the Mach 5, after all.
Trying to push triple digit speed on these roads was going to cause me
to wind up as a greasy streak on the road.  I didn't have a clue what
to do about the situation I was in, but I knew that wasn't a
particularly clever solution.  Eighteen years of life had left me
completely unable to handle what was happening.  What had happened at
the party, to understate the situation, was not what I expected.

After four years of high school, sex was as much a mystery as it ever
was; although, in my defense, spending my adolescent and teenaged
years in a small town outside of Pittsburgh probably had that effect
on most people.  And it wasn't actually sex per se, but everything
that surrounded it.  Much to my adolescent disappointment high school
never turned out to be the sexual free for all that I had been led to
believe.  I was shocked and dismayed in high school to find out that
there was a complicated series of tribal rituals that preceded any
potential sexual encounter.  Not that I've ever found anonymous one
night stands to be an enthralling prospect.  Why sleep with someone I
wouldn't want to talk to?  OK, so I was a weird teenager who was made
weirder by parents who would answer any serious question I asked,
whether it had to do with religion, sex, or anything in between.  They
never treated me as anything less than an intellectual equal, and
never ever tried the old ploy of "Believe this because I tell you to
believe."  All in all, it added up to a male high school student who,
while interested in sex, wasn't all that worried about it.  I knew
that it would happen when it happened, and until then, The Widow Thumb
and her four daughters were the cheapest dates in the world.

I knew I had to sort this out, and I couldn't do it while I was
driving.  But I didn't feel like going home quite yet.  Passing a
small intersection, I slowed enough to be able to read the signs.  To
my surprise, I realized that I was only a few miles from one of my
favorite spots to sit and think.  I threw a quick left, pulling off
the road I had been driving on for the last 20 minutes.  A few more
miles brought me to an almost invisible turn off.  It wasn't exactly a
dirt road, there being a good deal of gravel mixed in as well, but it
was deeply rutted and very rough going.  A series of 'S' curves
climbed a steep hillside, and as I crested the top, I slowed and
pulled to the side of the road.  The road looked out over a broad
shallow valley, dotted with homes and a few farms.  If it had been
better known and the road a little better maintained, it would have
been the ultimate "Parking Place" for my fellow students.  As it was,
hours would go by without a single car passing; you'd never know you
were less than 30 miles from a metropolitan center.  Pittsburgh might
as well be on the other side of the moon, both from the surroundings
and from the attitudes of most of the residents.  I turned off the
engine, sat back in the corner of the bench seat and driver's side
door and tried to think my way through everything I knew about sex,
love and all that came between.

Chapter 2

I learned about sex the way I did almost everything, unconventionally
although at first glance it sounded so stereotypical as to be
laughable.  The previous summer, I had been browbeaten into doing a
favor for one of my numerous cousins on my mother's side of the
family.  This particular cousin, James Lathan, was thirty years older
than me, more an uncle than cousin, and was also the minister at our
church, a situation that complicated my life enormously.  My own
religious beliefs were not profound but my parents and I attended
church services without fail.  It was 'expected', and so we were
highly visible members of my cousin's church.  Since he was my cousin,
James felt quite at ease cornering me after the service one Sunday in
late May.  Our church, along with a number of others, ran a summer
camp about 50 miles away in the Pennsylvania 'mountains'.  Called the
Rocklands, I had made the expected journey into exile for one week
every summer from the time I was in first grade until the end of
junior high.  It was, I assumed, an average camp, with acres and acres
of old growth forest, streams and steep valleys dotted with huge
boulders dropped when the glaciers retreated eons past.  Rock
climbing, hiking and assorted outdoorsy activities made up the bulk of
the entertainment.  This year, however, there was a problem.  

When James told me the camp was scrambling to find enough counselors,
the warning lights flipped on in my mind and I started to look around
for an avenue of escape.  Unfortunately, he had thought this out quite
well, calling me into the changing room while he got out of his
vestments.  As I listened, I realized it wasn't quite as bad as I had
initially thought.

The camp wasn't very large, with perhaps 250 campers and 25 to 30
counselors in residence.  The kids would come for a week, arriving on
Sunday afternoon and staying through Saturday morning, giving the
counselors one night off each week.  The majority of the counselors,
in fact, would be volunteers, staying for two or three weeks before
being replaced by others.  I would be one of ten or fifteen paid staff
members who would be there the entire summer.  And the money was
something I could certainly use.  I didn't have an after-school job,
and had been unhappily contemplating a daily forty-five minute commute
to the nearest mall in order to work retail during the summer.  The
salary for counselors was three thousand dollars for the summer, more
than I would make working retail for forty hours a week for three
months.  An added benefit would be that there simply weren't many
places to spend the money I would earn.  The camp was out in the
middle of nowhere resulting in an enforced fiscal responsibility.  All
in all, it sounded like a pretty good deal.  Still, I hesitated.
Although I didn't have many friends, there were a few people I wanted
to spend time with over the summer, and being exiled to Gaul would
make that virtually impossible, no matter what the financial rewards
were.  And there was one other point to clear up.

"Aren't you afraid I might lead the poor innocents from the path of
righteousness?"  I asked.  James and I had gone head to head in quite
a few discussions over the past few years.  Sitting around a dinner
table and talking over current events, theology and the like was a
favored past time in my family.  I liked and respected James, even
though I seldom agreed with him.  We usually argued more for sport
than any real attempt to sway the other person.  But since it was a
church related camp, there might be conflicts.

"Not really, Dave" he replied with a smile.  "There are plenty of
others who will be happy to lead the Bible lessons, even if they won't
be quite as interesting as yours might be."  

I told him I'd think it over and give him my answer within a couple of
days.  Over the next few days, I mulled the possibility over, talking
with those few friends I would truly miss and asking my parents
advice.  Everyone seemed to be in agreement.  It was a good
opportunity to salt away some extra money of my own.  And my parents
thought, in the way of all parents, it would be 'a good experience'
for me.  That was probably enough to seal my fate.

So after school ended for the summer, I spent a week getting ready for
my adventure.  I packed and gathered together what little outdoor
equipment I had.  I debated with myself about whether or not to take
my car or have my parents drop me at the camp.  I had no idea how many
others were going to have cars, and I wasn't thrilled with the
possibility of being the camp chauffeur.  Oh well, I could always be a
prick and say "No!"

When I arrived on Saturday morning, I was greeted and directed towards
the dorm.  Since the counselors would be moving from cabin to cabin
throughout the summer, we kept most of our extra belongings in the
dorm.  We were assigned two to a room, and I quickly dropped my things
in my room.  I found my new roommate already unpacked and relaxing in
his bunk.  I made my introductions and found that his name was Paul
Randall and he had just finished his junior year at Ohio State.  We
were pretty well matched, surprising me a little.  His motivations for
working at the camp that summer were an echo of my own.  He needed the
money and he had attended the camp when he was younger as well.  He
was something of an outdoors enthusiast, but I told him I wouldn't
hold it against him.  Paul was a fair example of the other counselors
as well.  Most of the rest of the staff would be made up of college
students and recent graduates.  College aged, perhaps studying child
psychology or a related field, they enjoyed the outdoors and liked the
idea of spending a summer (or two or three or more) as a counselor.
This was Paul's second year at the camp, and he warned me that the
volunteer counselors who would be joining for a limited time were
something different.

"Most of us are our here because we enjoy the outdoors and such," he
said as we waited around for everyone to trickle in.  "The fact that
it's a church camp is basically incidental.  If we weren't here we'd
probably try to get jobs at some other camp, it's just not a big deal
to most of us."  I could see where he was leading with this.  If I
really thought about it, I could even remember the difference in some
of the counselors I'd had from year to year.  "The people who do this
part time, though.  They're much more wrapped up in the religious part
of it.  They can be a royal pain in the ass, you know?"  He paused and
reached into the small night stand that stood by his bunk.  He pulled
out a pack of cigarettes and offered me one.  "We're not supposed to
smoke in front of the kids.  We're really not supposed to do it at
all, but nobody bitches if we do it in here."

I shook my head and reached into my duffel bag to draw out my own
pack.  I had been a little worried that I was going to have to spend
my time sneaking away for a cigarette every once in a while. 

He grinned and went on, "Well, it's good that they've put us together
at least.  The thing about the temps," he said, referring to the part
time counselors, "is that as long as you let them do their thing, they
usually stay off your case.  When they get that funny gleam in their
eye, just give them a wide berth." 

We spent the rest of the morning getting to know each other and
greeting people as they arrived.  By late that afternoon, everyone was
there and we all convened in the mess hall for the first of many staff
meetings.  The first week would be spent actually getting the camp
physically ready for the invasion of campers.  Although there was a
small staff, which was responsible for the upkeep of the grounds,
there was still plenty of work left to go around.  It turned out that
there would be a total of 16 full-time counselors, 8 guys and 8 girls.
I quickly realized I was the youngest of the permanent staff and after
a rather formal talk with the camp administrators, that this was the
first time they had ever hired a 'minor' for the position.  The
administrators, a painfully earnest middle-aged couple named Sam and
Lydia Brown, made it clear that "Reverend James" as they called him,
had done a great deal of convincing to get me this job.  I realized
the cupboard must truly be bare for him to put this much effort into
circumventing the standards of the camp.  During the interminable
staff meetings, which highlighted each day, the assignments were
hammered out.  Although there was a state law that precluded me from
being a 'lead counselor' due to my age, it really didn't affect our
situation much since there were always two counselors for each
campsite.

The Rocklands was a coed camp, with campers broken into three
groupings by age.  Each sub-group was composed of between ten and
fifteen campsites, with boys and girls grouped together, but sleeping
in separate accommodations.  Glen Rock was composed of campsites with
two Adirondack-style lean-tos, one each for the boys and girls.  The
lean-tos were wooden shacks that had one wall replaced by a heavy
plastic covered canvas curtain and held up to 15 kids each.  Each
campsite was named for a bird, Eagle, Rave, Osprey, etc.  Being the
camp for the elementary school aged kids, it was located closest to
the center of camp, nearest to the nurse's office, mess hall and pool.


Further out came Castle Rock, the camp for the junior high kids.
Unlike the younger children, these campers slept in actual tents,
albeit semi-permanent ones with wooden floors.  The tents were large,
and included bunks for up to 10 people.  These campsites also included
a picnic table near the enlarged fire pit.  Castle Rock was more
spread out and further away from the main buildings than Glen Rock, in
the case of some campsites, up to a half-mile away.  I was not looking
forward to being assigned to one of the outlying sites, envisioning a
long trek up for breakfast every morning.  Just as Glen Rock had,
there was a naming convention for these campsites, but instead of
birds, they were named after mammals, Wolf, Bear, Antelope, Deer and
others.  

The oldest campers stayed at The Tribes, a group of campsites over a
mile distant.  The campsites were made up of crude, but sturdy log
cabins and, of course, were named for American Indian tribal names.
Since they were so far out, they were largely self-sufficient, cooking
both breakfast and lunch for themselves.  At the center of the Tribes
was a small outbuilding that held a large refrigerator and the cooking
utensils they would need.  It also included a telephone to allow them
to get into contact with the main camp in case of an emergency.  In
addition to the tee-pees, each campsite had a canvas tent that covered
the picnic table, so they wouldn't become soaked eating lunch; and
also a large sink and faucet so they could clean up the dishes.  Like
Glen and Castle Rocks, The Tribes' campsites each had their own shower
and bath facilities. 

It was something of a surprise to think that I could actually end up
as a counselor to someone my age.  I seriously doubted the likelihood
of that event though.  Sam and Lydia were far to concerned about the
'propriety' of such a situation for it ever to come about.  Almost all
of the counselors were scheduled to work with one age group during the
entire summer, because of either preference or educational background.
Since I was both the newest and youngest counselor, I had been
designated as one of the 'utility infielder' of the staff.  There were
four of us, and we would fill in wherever needed, depending on the
demographics of the campers in any given week.  

By the end of the week, the camp was ready.  Physical labor has never
been one of my favorite activities, but at least I'm good at it.  The
fields had been mowed and raked and were ready for the campers
arrival.  Volleyball courts had been reconstructed and the pool had
been cleaned and readied.  It was early June and the sun hadn't had
much of a chance to heat the water yet.  It was still decidedly
chilly.  Being big, strong and, most importantly, lowest in seniority,
I had been stuck with one of the more distasteful tasks, along with
the grounds staff.  I had spent most of the week riding round in with
them in one of the camp's dilapidated pick ups, spreading several tons
of bark along the main paths that wound their way between the camp
buildings.  The pine bark smelled much better than what I was used to
shoveling with a pitchfork, but it was still exhausting.  The
groundskeepers were friendly and didn't laugh when I showed up in the
morning stiff and sore from the previous day's labor.  Well, they
didn't laugh much.  By Friday, I was exhausted, thankful that I wasn't
looking at a whole summer of that type of work.

Saturday was spent finalizing everything in anticipation of the
impending arrival of the first campers.  I'm sure the topics they
covered in the meetings were of vital importance, but I couldn't
testify to the fact.  The previous week had really tired me out and I
found myself dropping off into sleep throughout the meeting.
Fortunately, I didn't advertise by snoring, and if I did, Paul was
there to kick me in the leg before it got too loud.  Because I had
spent most of the week with the grounds-staff, I hadn't had much of an
opportunity to get to know many of the other full-time counselors.  I
had usually finished the day by five o'clock, eaten dinner and gone
directly to the dorm to try to catch up on some sleep.  Paul had tried
his best to make sure I at least was introduced to everyone, going to
the extremes of bringing them all back to our room on some pretext,
simply to introduce me.  Unfortunately I was usually too tired to do
anything but murmur a greeting and collapse back down onto the bunk.
Hopefully, things would change tonight.  With the arrival of the first
batch of temps, (even I had come into the habit of referring to the
part time counselors in that way) Saturday night was given over to a
social mixer in the mess hall.  Although I thought it was charmingly
anachronistic, who was I to argue?  It wasn't really, it was nothing
more than an opportunity to gather after dinner to talk and get to
know one another.  Hell, it sounded like a good idea to me, I just
hoped I'd be able to remember everyone's names.

After the meeting broke up, I headed back to my room to put together
my stuff in order to move it down to my first assignment; Bear Camp in
Castle Rock.  Not one of the camps furthest out, but far enough so I
knew mornings were going to be a pain in the ass.  I put together a
week's worth of clothes and gathered together everything else I
thought I'd need.  Then, since I didn't have anything pressing to do,
I decided I could really use another nap.  The chairs in the meeting
really didn't have enough back support to be comfortable.  And,
besides, who could really sleep with Sam and Lydia going on and on and
on all morning?

I didn't wake up until Paul came in after dinner, I had been tired
enough to sleep through it.  Oh well, camp food was nutritious but
hardly a gourmand's delight.  I had enough food squirreled away that I
knew I wouldn't starve.  I needn't have worried.  Paul noticed that I
was missing at dinner and had brought a plate back to the dorm for me.
I had about an hour to eat, shower and dress.  Plenty of time.  Paul
had told me previously that it was definitely a 'come as you are'
event, very low key, so I took him at his word. However, I did make
certain to put on a decent shirt and the best pair of shorts I had
brought.  I checked myself in the mirror.  It wasn't a terribly
impressive image, but not an embarrassment either, which is about as
good as I could have hoped.  I grabbed a pair of docksiders and we
headed out.  Most of the people had already arrived, but there were a
couple of stragglers walking along the path with us.  Jenny and
Melissa were roomed next door to us, so I had been able to get to know
them just a little better than most of the others.  They were college
friends who had decided to work at the camp together during the summer
break after their sophomore year at Penn State.  Jenny was short, no
taller than five feet.  With night black hair and olive complexion,
she wasn't fat or heavy, so much as well rounded.  No matter what she
wore, it seemed as though she had been poured into the clothes instead
of pulling them on like us mere mortals.  Melissa was almost a foot
taller, with a slim athletic build and bright blond hair.  Unlike her
companion, Melissa was quiet, seldom saying anything, although her
bright friendly eyes suggested that there was much going on behind her
shy exterior. 

We caught up to them quickly and made our way to the mess hall.
Someone had done a nice job in arranging the lounge area.  There were
several couches in the room, each with accompanying arm chairs so
people could sit and talk.  A table along the wall held refreshments,
a simple selection of chips, dip and soda.  Everyone seemed to have
arrived, including the new temps.  Sam and Lydia introduced the temps
to us, after which people broke up and started the process of getting
to know each other.  The new counselors were older, by and large.
Most of them were in their early thirties, although I saw an older
couple, introduced as "Mr. and Mrs. Weaver" who were probably pushing
fifty.  There were also a few who looked about the same age as most of
us.  I'm not very good at 'pressing the flesh' but I did my best,
wandering around, trying to make sure I introduced myself and have a
few words with everyone.  Most of the volunteers knew my cousin and I
was able to use that as a starting point for some social chatting.
While moving from one group to another, I saw Paul standing in the
corner, talking to Jenny.  He seemed to be keeping her entertained,
although I started to get a little curious about just what he was
saying after she burst out laughing.   

After about an hour of this, I was satisfied. Finished making my loop,
I was ready to grab a big glass of coke and find an unused corner
somewhere.  I had done what I had come to do; I could now put names
with each of the faces, and had some rudimentary idea of what each one
was like.  I wasn't too worried about the temps; they'd be gone in
three weeks in any case.  But knowing the names of my permanent
coworkers was definitely in order.  I realized that it had taken well
over an hour and that I was in dire need of a cigarette.  I looked
around but couldn't find Paul, who was the only other smoker I knew.
He and Jenny seemed to have disappeared when I wasn't looking.  It
wasn't a tremendous surprise.  Even though I had spent most of the
week either busting my ass dumping pine bark or asleep, I was aware
Paul had been after her since 10 minutes after she had arrived.  

I slipped out the door onto the porch.  Darkness had fallen, unnoticed
by most of us as we were occupied inside.  I walked to the railing,
looking out over the paths that wound their way up to the mess hall.
Fumbling in my pocket, I pulled out a cigarette and lit it quickly.
The feeble glow of the matched was enough to light up a huddled shape
a few feet away.  Oh shit.  I held my breath, hoping it wasn't someone
who would give me problems about smoking in 'public'.  When the person
turned to look at me, I could make out Melissa's face in the dim
light.

"You're not supposed to do that," she said lightly.  She was sitting
on the steps up to the porch with her arms wrapped around her legs.  I
hadn't noticed before, but it was getting chilly.  

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I responded.  "I know.  But after spending an hour
working the room, I need it.  What are you doing out here?"

She looked back over her shoulder at the doorway, "I just wanted to
get away for a minute.  Too many people in there."  She grinned.  "You
looked like a pro in there.  Going to be a politician when you grow
up?"

"Not hardly, I think I could get used to the lying and corruption,
it's this part I that I'd have a problem with."  That garnered a deep
rich laugh.  Hey, any time you can make a woman laugh a happy laugh
has to go down as a win, particularly a beautiful woman.  "But
considering my position here, I've got play the game.  Sam and Lydia
are less than thrilled about me being hired, even I can tell that
much. 

"How'd you like that introduction?  'And this is our newest and
youngest counselor, David Taylor.'  I felt like the newest exhibit at
the zoo!"  I blew out a cloud of smoke.  "I'm going to kill James when
I get back home."

"Who's James?"

"My ever loving cousin.  He's the minister at our church and he's the
one who got me into this mess.  He convinced me to come up here a
couple of weeks ago, and I assumed that there wouldn't be a problem.
He's got a nasty habit of leaving out the bad news.  Even in his
sermons," I finished with a laugh.  I field stripped the butt and
stuck it into my pocket.  No sense leaving any evidence.  

"You'll probably do all right.  This is my third year, and it's not
all that tough.  The kids are pretty good, for the most part.  Where
are they starting you off?"

"In Castle Rock.  Sam said he thought that would be better than Glen
Rock, less worry about nightmares and homesickness."  I had to agree
with him there.  "And besides, I'd rather deal with snotty seventh
graders than a homesick third grader.  At least I know how to stomp on
them.  Hell, I remember when I was one of them!"

She giggled.  "It's really not that bad."  She paused for a moment,
and then slid the knife in, "Most of them don't have your imagination.
Or sense of grandeur, I'd imagine."

"Huh?"  Perhaps if I hadn't spent the previous week in mind-numbing
physical labor I could have lied my way out of it.  As it was, I
didn't stand a chance.

"My older brother Kerry used to be a counselor here, before I started.
He was your counselor at least twice that I know of, maybe more.  And
he used to regale the family with his descriptions of your
adventures."

At that point, I started to get a funny feeling.  "Kerry?  Kerry
Blackman?"  Oh god, don't let it be Kerry Blackman.

"Bingo."

Oh no.  "Please tell me you're the only one who knows."  Please,
please, please.  As a seventh and eighth grade camper I had been,
well, something of a handful.  A handful my ass, I was a nightmare.
During those two years, the Rocklands had experimented with kids
staying more than just one week.  It varied from camper to camper, and
depended on how much room there was available.  I had spent a month
and a half at the camp each summer during those two years, and after
about the second week, I started to get bored.  I suppose I could
blame it on seeing Meatballs too many times, but I knew better.  I was
just that kind of guy.  The experiment didn't work out.  For the first
time, I wondered if it was partially my fault.

"Well," she drawled.  "I'm probably the only one who knows that you're
the same person, but there might be one or two of the temps who were
here that long ago."

I breathed a sigh of relief.  It was over four years ago, and I didn't
really look much as I did back then.  I was several inches taller and
almost fifty pounds heavier.  It looked as if I might be able to
escape by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin.

"But," she added, almost as an afterthought.  "Some of the tricks you
pulled are legendary.  If you hadn't been sleeping the whole time, you
would have been around to hear us talking about them.  That stunt with
the administrator's cabin is particularly well respected."

I groaned.  "You're really enjoying this aren't you?"  I hadn't
planned on any of this.  Everyone was pulling stunts like that back
then.  Admittedly, mine were a little more spectacular than most, but
I really hadn't counted on them being incorporated in the
institutional mythology.

"Hey, I'm just letting you know what's going on."  She was enjoying
it.  She had a huge smile on her face.  I wasn't so distracted by my
impending doom that I didn't notice she had a beautiful smile.  Her
face was one of strong features, all angles and planes.  She missed
being beautiful by less than a whisker.  But when she smiled all those
too strong features softened into something breathtaking.  "I really
want to know how you pulled that one off.  Kerry talked about it for
weeks after he came home that year."

I lit another cigarette to stall for time.

"Got an extra?" she asked.  "I didn't bring mine.  I was planning on
quitting this summer, since I don't have a car; it's pretty far to
pick up another pack.  I thought it would be the perfect time."

"Yeah, sure."  I shook another one out of the battered pack of
Marlboros.  "Let me know if you need a ride somewhere, I did bring my
car.  And let me know if you want to snag a cigarette.  I buy them by
the carton so I don't have to leave every day."

"Thanks," she said exhaling.  "But you didn't answer my question."

Damn.  "It wasn't all that tough.  The administrator, Jim, always left
the camp on Saturday nights.  And since half of the counselors also
got time off, they were spread a little thin.  Six of us slipped away
in the middle of the night and did it in less than four hours.  We
were back in our bunks by six in the morning."

"I know all that.  I want to know how you did it."

"You've got a nasty streak of curiosity in you, Melissa, you know
that?"  It wasn't a big secret, but still.  You're never supposed to
give away how you did a trick.  And I wasn't about to reveal my
secrets here.  "All right.  Let's go for a walk.  I don't like the
idea of someone overhearing this.  It's bad enough as it is."

She agreed and we started walking down away from the mess hall, not
really in any direction in particular, just away from everyone
gathered inside.  While we walked, I started my story again, this time
with all the details.  "I had planned this for about two weeks.  Jim
always had a meeting with the counselors who would be staying on the
grounds that weekend on Friday evening, right before Vespers.  Another
guy, Tony, and me cut out of Vespers on the Friday we were going to
pull this.  We headed into the woods from the chapel, and worked our
way back to the camp.  We were from different cabins, and had guys
ready to tell our counselors that we were sitting over with the other
guy's cabin if they asked.  

"You're dead-set on getting this whole story, aren't you?"  I asked.
She nodded and slipped her arm through mine.  "OK, we went back to
Jim's cabin and went inside.  He never locked it except when he was
going away for the night.  So anyway, we went in and checked the
windows.  They all locked as well, but we found one in the back room
that didn't look like it had been opened for five years or more.  We
unscrewed the slide lock, but left it in place so it looked as if it
was still locked.  I doubt he even checked it before he took off for
the night.  

"The roving patrols the counselors made after lights out were
stretched a little thin because so many of them had the night off.
After we got back to our cabins, we just waited until everyone was
asleep and then slipped away.  There were six of us who actually did
the work and about ten more who were in on it and acted as lookouts.
If the counselors woke up and started getting suspicious, they were
supposed to distract them.  That part was a little shaky."  I paused
for a minute.  "Hell, it didn't work, we just got lucky, which is just
as important.  In any case, we got to the cabin and sent the smallest
guy through the window.  It worked as pretty as you please.  He snaked
up through the window and then opened the locked door from the inside.
The furniture wasn't as hard as it sounds.  It was hardly Chippendale,
was it?  The only hard part was getting the dresser out of the door.
After that, it was easy.  Tied a couple of canoes together to ferry
everything out to the swim platform and then put everything in the
right position.  After that we went back to the cabin, fixed the lock
on the window, locked the door from the inside and we were done.
Everyone got back into their own cabins without getting caught and,
voila!  The perfect locked room mystery."  

I stopped dead, finally realizing something.  "Kerry told you, didn't
he?  That's how you know!"  In the morning when our dastardly deed was
discovered there had been absolute pandemonium.  Everyone assumed I
was responsible, because of my previous track record, but no one could
prove it.  No one but one.  During one of the trips from the cabin,
carrying the furniture, I saw a shape standing back off the path in
the woods.  At first, I thought it was one of our lookouts, just
keeping out of the way.  After I looked the second time, I knew we
were toast, unless of course, one of our lookouts had sprouted an
extra foot and grown a beard in the last twenty minutes.  It was Kerry
Blackman, my counselor.  We looked each other in the eye, and I
started to sweat.  Then he just smiled, shook his head and turned
away.  I waited all day for him to say something to Jim.  It never
happened.  I don't think anyone else saw him standing there that night
and he never mentioned it to me afterwards, but there wasn't any doubt
that he knew exactly who was responsible for that one.  

"That son of a bitch," I laughed.  "He kept his mouth shut at camp and
then gets home and spills his guts.  Oh lord."  

"I told you, he really admired that one."  She was laughing along with
me as we strolled along the paths.  "He told me about seeing the faces
of the other counselors when they strolled up to the lake that
morning.  It must have been priceless."

"I wouldn't know," I said catching my breath.  "I was so damned tired
I slept in and missed all the fun.  By the time I got up there,
everyone was just sitting around admiring it.  I just sat down with
everyone else and started asking dumb questions.  Fortunately, none of
the other guys felt like boasting, at least that year.  It didn't
matter, really.  Everyone knew who had been in on it, they just
couldn't prove it."  As we walked, I looked around to figure out where
we were.  During the last week, I had gotten reacquainted the main
paths of the grounds and I immediately realized that we had made a
large loop, and were now nearing the dorm again.  

"I just hope I won't have to deal with anyone quite that...
enthusiastic, especially in my first week."  For the first time, I
became aware that we had been walking for quite a while, and her arm
had remained comfortably in mine the whole time.  

"You won't," she said with some certainty.  "You're going to get
mostly sixth graders for the first couple of weeks.  They're not as
stupid as you might think.  Well, not quite.  Sam and Lydia want to
make sure that you can handle yourself before they throw you to the
wolves, so to speak.  You're going to have to actually pay attention
to what's going on, and not bury yourself in a book."

"And just how do you know that?  What the hell is going on around
here?  And how do you know what kind of kids I'm getting?  Sam didn't
even tell me what cabin I'd be in for this week until this afternoon!"
Things were going very badly for me.  I'm not used to people knowing
more about me than I do about them.

She smiled a knowing smile.  "You really don't remember me, do you?"

I stopped in my tracks, almost pulling her off balance.  "Sorry about
that," I apologized immediately.  I was wracking my brain, trying to
figure this puzzle out.  I hate puzzles.  I turned to look at her,
"How about a hint?  C'mon, this isn't fair.  My brain is fried from
this week."

She was definitely enjoying this.  And enjoying it way, way too much
for my comfort.  "A hint?  OK, I'll give you a hint.  Are you ready?
The hint is: Linda."

"Linda?  Oh God," I groaned.  Linda Lathan was James' oldest daughter.
All of a sudden, it clicked.  Last Thanksgiving.  One of our family
traditions was to have a huge get-together for both Christmas and
Thanksgiving.  On this occasion, Linda happened to bring home her
roommate from school.  Guess who.  Back then she had been a brunette
with her hair cut very short.  She had also been wearing glasses
which, in combination with everything else, served to change her
appearance markedly.  

"Well... shit."  I shuddered when I thought of what she must have been
told.  

The look on my face must have been a winner, because Melissa once more
dissolved into gales of laughter.  She tried to say something but it
was a lost cause.  We must have made a helluva picture, the two of us
standing there in a pool of light, me with a look of dumbfounded
horror on my face and Melissa in overcome with hysterical laughter.  

"Oh God," she moaned after another moment or two.  "I've been wanting
to do that for the last week, and hadn't had a chance.  I knew that
you didn't recognize me right away, but I thought you'd catch on
before this."  She was still giggling in fits.  "Once you told Rev.
Lathan that you would be working here this summer, he called me
directly to tell me.  When I got here, I talked to Sam and Lydia right
away, suggesting I be paired with you for at least the first few
weeks, just to 'show you the ropes' and all.  They've been watching
you pretty closely the last week, just to satisfy themselves that
you'd be able to handle yourself.  Today they told me that we were
going to be paired until further notice," she finished proudly.  

Well, that sounded good... and bad.  Tonight had proven, at least to
me that we could get along.  For all the laughter and tricks that she
had played on me; she hadn't been malicious at all.  It was 'all in
good fun', except that this time, it really was.  But I was just a
little nervous about what else she might be holding up her sleeve.  By
the time we started on our way again and actually made it back to the
dorm, we found that the 'meet and greet' at the mess hall had broken
up and most of the people had trickled back to the dorm.  

Everyone, at least all those who had made it back seemed to be
gathered in the common room, sitting around and having a general BS
session.  The topic of the evening was the new temps that had arrived.
We had spotted some possible problems in the group this evening.
There were a few who seemed to be determined to turn what we, and most
of the kids, thought of as a simple week of summer camp into an old
fashioned spiritual revival meeting.  For those who had been here
before it was expected, but I was still surprised, even with the
warnings from Paul.  We spent a while talking about the best way to
deal with it.  The general consensus was to cross your fingers and
hope you weren't assigned with one of them.  Not terribly helpful, but
it was the best we had.  From across the room Melissa caught my eye
and gave me a wink.  I was more thankful than ever that she had pulled
that rotten, underhanded and sneaky trick to get Sam and Lydia to put
me under her wing.  After that, the discussion moved on to the latest
trends on the various college campuses they all attended.  Since I
wasn't going to have to worry about that for at least a year, by which
time the information would be hopelessly out of date, I didn't pay
much attention.  After a few moments, I made my way quietly back down
the hall to my room.  

It didn't look like Paul had made it back at all.  I hadn't seen him
in the common room and our room seemed undisturbed.  I shrugged and
hoped he wasn't lying on some patch of poison ivy somewhere.  I knew
that love was supposed to hurt, but I didn't think it was supposed to
itch.  I shook my head and got ready for bed.  The afternoon nap I had
taken had gotten me through the mixer, but I was fading fast.  Morning
would come soon enough, and with it would come my first experience as
a counselor.  

Chapter 3

When I woke, it was to Paul's rather abrasive voice.  Well, at least
he had made it back at some point during the night, which was nice to
know.  I changed my mind about the thought I had the night before, I
hoped he had spent at least some of the time in a poison ivy patch.  I
don't wake up particularly gracefully in the best of circumstances,
and this definitely wasn't the best of circumstances.  Muttering a few
vile imprecations in Paul's general direction under my breath, I
dragged myself up out of bed and went in search of caffeine and
nicotine.  The latter was easy to find while the former required a
short walk to the nearest soda machine.  I never developed a taste for
coffee and Coke served as my morning wake up call.  After a cigarette
and a Coke, I decided that I might want to live after all, and hauled
myself into the shower.  That improved things to the point that I was
feeling vaguely human again.  Paul looked about as bad as I felt,
although I assume he had more cause.  On our way out we stopped and
picked up Jenny who couldn't seem to yawning.  Melissa met us on the
porch and we trouped towards our awaiting breakfast.  Unlike the three
of us, Melissa seemed absolutely full of energy and enthusiasm.  And
much less reserved than she did yesterday.  I made a mental note to
ask her if she had been so quiet just to make it more difficult for me
to recognize her.  From what I knew of her, it seemed likely.  

After breakfast, we broke up into the groups we'd be working in for
the next week.  We got a list of the campers we'd be responsible for
in the next week, along with an itinerary for group activities that
would, with minor modifications, be in place for the rest of the
summer.  The next few hours were spent by having the permanent staff
move our gear down to the individual campsites, a quick planning
session with Castle Rock's Head Counselor, Raymond Boyd, and getting
ready to greet and sort the kids.  The first cars pulled in right
around noon and after that, it was a steady effort simply to keep
track of all the new faces.  The grounds crew had the responsibility
of directing parking, but each of the counselors took their turn,
while their partner pulled double duty of not only gathering the new
arrivals, but also keeping track of those they had already managed to
round up.  Melissa and I were fortunate in that all of our kids were
there by three in the afternoon, which left us several hours to have
all the kids settled in by dinner.  Some other counselors weren't so
lucky.  One pair was just hustling their kids into their campsite when
we passed them on the way to dinner.  Those are the breaks.  

Dinner was a revelation.  I never realized as a camper how little a
counselor actually got to eat.  We were far too busy trying to make
sure that the salt stayed in the shakers and not in someone's drink
and that the food stayed on the plates and didn't end up flying
through the air to become an interesting, if temporary piece of
abstract art.  If this was an indication of what was to come, it was
obvious that I would be losing a lot of weight.  My own camping
experience was recent enough to remember all the nasty little tricks
that people had played on each other, although I had never been one to
go in for the low level terrorism that passes for practical jokes
among adolescents.  I was always after bigger game.  But perhaps I was
just a special talent.

We managed to get through dinner without any major mishaps, and even
back to the campsite in relatively good order.  Watching Melissa
interacting with the kids throughout dinner and afterwards was
impressive.  Our styles in dealing with kids were very different.  She
had the gift of being able to convince them to do almost anything she
wanted.  She had them eating out of her hand within an hour.  I think
her physical attractiveness was a definite asset when it came to
dealing with adolescent boys in particular.  After about an hour of
getting to know each other and basically goofing around it was time
for evening services.  Generally, they lasted between a half hour and
forty-five minutes consisting of a few songs and a 'sermon'.  Very
informal, it was mostly just a gentle reminder to the kids that this
was, in fact, a church camp.  

After Vespers, we returned to the campsite, making sure that everyone
could find their way, even in the dark.  Unusually, the majority of
our campers were making their first trip to the Rocklands and they
weren't familiar with the layout of the camp.  From my own experience
a few years ago, most of the kids were veterans and knew the camp
better than the counselors.  It was a minor additional headache with
which we had to contend.  The kids had been surprisingly well behaved,
considering how worked up they all were.  We had a couple of hours
left till lights out, and to occupy the time we fell back on the old
camping standards: a roaring campfire and songs.  There was some
rowdiness to be worked off, but that was to be expected.  By 10:00,
everyone was pretty much ready for bed.  The camp rules were that
campers had to be in their cabins or tents and in bed by 10:00.  They
didn't say they had to be asleep by then, and it would have been
laughable to try to enforce it in any case.  The campfire itself was
within earshot of both tents, so Melissa and I sat on the logs
surrounding the fire, talking quietly and listening for either too
much noise, or too much quiet from the tents.  Either one could be a
sign of something going on.   

The first week passed in a blur for me.  The morning schedule for the
Bear campers included summer camp standby of arts and crafts, swimming
and sports, where the kids had their choice of volleyball, archery and
canoeing, among others, depending on what interested them on that day.
The sports period also served to give the any counselors who weren't
acting as instructors time away from the kids each day, which I found
was more important than I had realized.  After breaking for lunch, the
afternoon was usually taken up with long hikes along the extensive
trails that looped through the hundreds of acres of forests.  The
trails were clearly marked, but since many of the kids were unfamiliar
with The Rocklands, keeping track of everyone required our attention.
At some point in the afternoon, we were supposed to have a Bible
lesson of some kind.  For us, it usually consisted of ten minutes of
reading a particular passage and then asking them "Does anyone have
anything to say about this?"  Since the kids were even less
interested, there were seldom any takers.

After dinner, there were usually activities of some kind.  More sports
or even a huge game of Capture the Flag that incorporated most of the
Camp.  With all the land at our disposal and the number of
participants, the game could continue for hours.  The counselors were
normally drafted as umpires, making sure the players didn't stray too
far down the valley in their attempt to sneak past the enemy lines.
Melissa and I usually volunteered to take the position furthest down.
We spent the time talking and listening for the crash of kids moving
through the underbrush.  As long as they weren't heading too far down
the hill, we left them alone.  If, on the other hand, they were making
a beeline for the river, we gently mentioned that they might be far
enough down already, although very few of the kids ever made it to our
position.

Our conversations had grown increasingly personal as the days went on.
Although she already knew a great deal about me, she, in turn, opened
up and told me about herself.  At 22, she was a year older than most
juniors were, having taken a year off following high school.  Her
college major was psychology with minor in child development, which
helped to explain both why she was here, and why she was so damned
good at it.  Her senior year was coming up in the fall, and she wasn't
sure what she wanted to do afterwards.  She was torn between the urge
to get out of the academic setting and get to work, returning at some
point for her masters, or continuing straight through without a break.
I was at a loss.  She actually seemed to want my opinion on the
matter, much to my surprise.  

"What the hell would I know about it," I asked in amazement.  "You
seem to forget that I'm still in high school!"  It was Friday night,
and the kids were already in the tents.  We had talked about this
before, but that was the first time she had come right out and asked
me my opinion.  

"No, I haven't forgotten that," she said quietly.  "Well, not in the
last fifteen minutes at least.  And that has nothing to do with it
anyway.  Linda is one of the smartest people I've met, and after
rooming with her for three years, I should know.  And she's told me
time and time again that you're about three times smarter than she is.
That means something."

"Shit.  Linda talks too much."  It was embarrassing.  I knew I was
intelligent, but this was different.  I was used to the strange looks
I got at school and I could even absorb the half-insulting,
half-admiring label of 'geek' I tended to hear as I passed people in
the halls.  Even though I could more than hold my own in almost any
conversation with 'adults', I couldn't imagine one asking me for
advice about their personal lives.  It was as if my cousin James had
asked me if he should take the new job with a larger congregation.
What the hell did I know about it?

We were sitting together on the ground in front of the fire, using the
log benches as back rests.  I wasn't exactly uncomfortable sitting so
close, but I wished I had a better idea of what the hell was going on.
When she reached over to take my hand, I got even more confused.  Of
course, I was aware of exactly how attractive and sexy she was, but it
hadn't overwhelmed me.  I was more confused about where the
conversation was going than anything else was. 

"Dave, the fact that you're in high school doesn't have anything to do
with it.  You're not exactly the average high school kid, anyway, are
you?"  I had to agree with that.  So far, three years of high school
had done little but demonstrate just how weird I was in comparison to
everyone else.  "And even if I didn't already know from what Kerry had
told me, the little details Linda provided, once we figured out that
you were the same person, convinced me," she giggled.  

I wanted to take the time when I got home and have a nice long talk
with Linda about this entire situation, preferably one that involved
some measure of revenge for her good-intentioned indiscretions. 

"When Linda invited me home for Thanksgiving, I wasn't planning on
coming, until she mentioned that it would be a full family gathering
and that you would be there.  How could I resist the opportunity to
actually meet you in the flesh," she asked coyly.  "And you didn't
exactly disappoint."

I thought back to what had happened during the dinner.  By our
family's standards, it had been comparatively uneventful.  But the
after-dinner discussion had been more in keeping with the family
traditions.  As I recalled, James had made an offhand remark about his
disagreement with a newspaper article that dealt with the possibility
of a genetic cause for homosexuality.  Once the gauntlet was thrown, I
could hardly restrain myself.  He and I had gone head to head once
again on the causes, effects and morality of homosexuality.  Not the
average discussion for a holiday, but we weren't an average family.
James and I had gone back and forth, with most of the other adults
sitting back and tossing in leading questions whenever it seemed as
though the conversation was slowing.  

"Well," I said slowly, "that wasn't exactly a typical example.  He got
on my nerves that night.  He does that fairly often," I said with a
snort.  As I thought about it, it actually was a typical example.  I
liked James, he was intelligent, well read and well spoken; but he had
a tendency to be lazy in his thinking, and that drove me nuts.  He was
too willing to accept the teaching of the church without considering
the ramifications for my tastes.  

"Hey, you would have convinced me," she laughed, "if I hadn't already
agreed with you!  I won't say that I had a crush on you, but I did
seriously wonder about what might have happened if you were a couple
of years older."  She said that very quietly, almost as if she was the
one who should be embarrassed.  Turning towards me, I saw the light
from the dying fire dancing on her face.  "And this week hasn't done
anything to change that."  With that she leaned over and brushed her
lips across mine.

I simply sat back and enjoyed.  I didn't have a clue what was going on
and for once, I didn't try to act as if I did.  I allowed her to take
the lead, since I wasn't sure what I was even supposed to do.  No
matter what the childhood memories might tell you, a few times playing
Truth or Dare and Spin the Bottle does not prepare you for what to do
when the kiss actually becomes meaningful.  And I was quite aware that
this was, in fact, a 'meaningful' kiss.  Even though I didn't quite
know just what it did mean, it didn't stop me from enjoying it.

We kissed more deeply, her mouth opening slightly to take my lower lip
between hers.  Following her lead, I started to kiss back, instead of
just receiving.  I was simply trying to duplicate what she had been
doing to me while my mind was racing to catch up.  Our tongues began a
gentle exploration of each other's mouths, moving and drifting to our
own rhythms.  Unfortunately, I was making it up as I went along, not
having any previous experience at it.  Things seemed to be proceeding
fine, although I didn't really have anything with which to compare it.
I raised my free hand and reached across to stroke my fingertips along
her face as we kissed.  My other hand was pinned between us, tightly
gripped by hers.  I was rewarded by a small moan that escaped her lips
while my fingers moved along cheek and down her jaw.  Her arm snaked
back around my neck, pulling us tightly together while her mouth began
moving with more urgency.  Since my first attempt at trying something
new went so well, I decided to continue.  My hand drifted back along
her cheek, slowly dragging my fingertips along her skin.  I slid it
down along her neck, just brushing the collar of her heavy sweatshirt
and then back to the nape of her neck.  Her long blond hair was pulled
back into a ponytail, exposing a soft crescent of skin.  It was one of
the few areas on my body that was ticklish and I hope that she was
just as sensitive. 

She was.  I started kiss more softly, jumping from one part of her
mouth to another, brushing my lips along one corner, then nibbling at
her bottom lip.  Her breath began to come in short gasps and her
tongue flicked out, trying to anticipate where my mouth would be next.
It was that night that I developed a habit I doubt I'll ever break.
With very few exceptions, I always kiss with my eyes open, watching
how my partner reacts to what I'm doing.  How else can I know whether
or not I'm doing it right?  From what I could see, I was.  Her eyes
were tightly closed, and when I pulled away slightly in order to move
from place to place, her lips stayed slightly parted, waiting for the
next touch of my mouth.

We broke our clinch for a moment and I drew in a ragged breath.  I
knew that, traditionally, one is supposed to speak eloquently about
how wonderful the first kiss was, but I was in no condition to form
coherent words, much less a full sentence.

"Mmmmm," she replied.  "I've been wanting to do that for two weeks."

"You're kidding!  I couldn't believe that.  I was painfully aware of
exactly how charming I was, or more accurately, wasn't.  I had some
difficulty imagining why someone as impressive as Melissa would get
this interested in me.  

"Well, maybe a week and a half.  It was hard to know just what you
were like when you were sleeping fourteen hours a day."  She flashed a
quick grin and gave me short kiss.  "And it was worth it, sport."

"But why -" Before I could finish the obvious question, we heard a
loud thump and a muffled groan floating out from my tent.  We
scrambled up and hurried to investigate. Tommy had tried to get up to
go to the bathroom and hadn't bothered with a flashlight.  The result
was one skinned knee and a few tears.  It wasn't anything serious but
it did serve to bring Melissa and I back to the real world.

While we were getting the kids settled back down, our eyes met.  In
unspoken agreement, we knew that things had gone far enough for one
night.  Maybe if we hadn't had 25 kids to worry about, things might
have been different.  But, to be completely truthful, I was just as
happy that they weren't.  Being a virgin wasn't exactly like carrying
around the Mark of Cain, and I wanted to be much more certain about
things than I was before things went too much further.  

Climbing into my cot, I tried to sort out my feelings.  Melissa was
everything I had ever thought I would want in someone.  I should have
been head over heels in love with her.  But I wasn't.  That confused
me more than everything else did.  I liked her, a lot.  Of that, there
was no question.  I loved spending time with her, both working with
the kids and also any time we could snatch away from our camp duties.
I had been attracted to her from the first time I saw her and I lusted
after her.  That, however, wasn't anything new.  Nor was it a big
deal, at least to me.  I had learned to live with unrequited lust.  It
helped keep me warm on all those cold teenaged nights.  

The age difference could have been part of the problem, but I doubted
it.  The realization that we were in two different places in our lives
was a rationalization, not a reason.  Besides, I was a sucker for
futile causes, and the idea of pining away while she went back to
college really wouldn't have given me much of a pause.  These thoughts
tumbled through my mind for most of the night.  I finally dropped into
a fitful sleep a few hours before dawn.  

Chapter 4

The morning itself brought a hectic rush to make sure everyone was
packed.  The kids were supposed to be picked up during the morning
leaving the counselors to our first free day in two weeks.  There were
a number of tearful good-byes among the kids when the parents began
arriving.  I remembered going through the same thing myself.  The week
had passed in a flash for me, but when you're twelve years old, a week
of summer camp can seem to last as long as a month.  The little knots
of campers continued to dwindle as parents returned to pick up their
children until by 1:00 we waved as the last car passed down the gravel
driveway on its way home.  Sam and Lydia called us together for an
impromptu meeting.  They congratulated everyone how well the first
week had gone and reminded those of us who weren't going to be
spending our first night off in the dorm to be back by 10:30 the next
morning.  They dismissed us with a smile and everyone seemed to
scatter.  Because I had been a little rushed that morning, I hadn't
had time to gather my gear together, it was still sitting in the tent,
spread out all over hell and gone.  By the time I got back from the
dorm after the long detour to the Bear campsite, almost everyone had
already left.  

Paul was on his way out as I walked into the room and dumped my gear
at the foot of the bed.  He called a quick goodbye and virtually ran
out the door.  I smiled to myself and shook my head.  Melissa had
related to me that he and Jenny had some rather significant plans for
that night.  I doubted I'd see any more of him for quite some time.
And he'd probably look just as ragged greeting the new campers the
next morning as he had the week before.  It seemed as thought I was
going to be spending a quiet night alone.  The closest town was about
20 miles away, and I knew I was going to have to make a quick run to
the supermarket there to pick up some supplies.  Getting away for the
occasional cigarette had proven as difficult as I had feared, so I
still had plenty of smokes, but unless I got some laundry detergent, I
was going to be a rather fragrant counselor next week.  Home was only
a couple of hours away, but it would have meant getting up at an
ungodly hour the next morning in order to drive back.  After a week of
being woken by adolescent boys who were entirely too enthusiastic to
GET UP and attack the day, the thought of being able to sleep in won
out over the temptation of a home cooked meal.  

I was still as confused as ever about last night.  Obviously, we
hadn't had time to talk about what had happened, the morning had been
far to busy for that.  I realized with some surprise that I didn't
even know where she was going to be that night.  We had talked about a
great deal that week, but the subject of Saturday night hadn't come
up.  Then again, it hadn't seemed terribly important to me, prior to
the night before.  I gathered up my wallet and headed outside.  As I
stepped off the porch, I saw her walking up the path from the mess
hall.  She waved and hurried her pace, breaking into a trot.  

"Where are you off to?" she inquired as she drew closer.  

"I thought I'd run into town.  I need to pick up a few things."

"Great," Melissa exclaimed.  "Can you give me a ride?  Remember you
promised!  I need to run a few errands."

"Sure, no problem," I agreed.  

She hurried inside to get her purse while I waited on the porch.  I
lit a cigarette and thought about the situation.  I hadn't come up
with any answers by the time she returned.  She had taken a moment to
change, donning a casual short skirt and blouse combination in place
of the ragged work shirt and shorts she had been wearing.  My eyes
must have revealed my appreciation of the outfit and she broke into a
smile as she came outside.  She grabbed my hand as we walked up the
hill to the parking lot.  To be completely accurate, it was just a
section of the front field that had been set aside for cars, but we
all played along and referred to it as a parking lot.   The car
started right up, much to my amazement.  It didn't look like much, but
it was good basic transportation for a high school student. 

We were driving down the main street of the small town within a
half-hour.  We stopped in at the supermarket, picking up the few
things we needed.  At one point we got separated and I spent five
minutes wandering the aisles before I found Melissa heading for the
checkout line.  A stop in at one of the gas stations that clustered
around the interstate exit ramps completed our mission.   We grabbed
some dinner at the McDonalds across the road.  After two weeks of camp
food, we were both ready for a junk food splurge.  

The conversation had remained light, not touching on what had happened
the night before.  I knew, at some point, we'd have to talk about it,
but for that moment, I was just as happy to leave it alone.  I was too
much fun just being with her to risk screwing it up with that
discussion.  She seemed very relaxed, talking about what was currently
going on in the world, jumping from one topic to another as we ate.
She wanted to know which colleges I planned to apply to in the fall
and what I wanted to study.  I told her the truth; I simply didn't
have any idea what I wanted to major in.  Far too many things
interested me at that point.  I simply hadn't given the matter much
thought.   The conversation soon moved on to high school in general.
By the time we dumped our trays, we were deep into comparing the
expectations of college life with the realities.   

On the way home, she slid across the long bench seat to lean against
me.  I snaked my arm around her shoulders to the startled realization
that the afternoon had been the closest thing to a date that I had
ever experienced.  It knew that it wasn't exactly the same, but it was
close enough for me.  Feeling her long slim body up against mine was
wonderfully comfortable.  We rode in silence, her head resting on my
shoulder as we drove the winding back roads to the camp.  All too
soon, at least from my point of view, the camp came into view, and I
turned into the dusty driveway.  I parked the car, and we carried our
light loads down to the dorm.  Figuring that it wasn't going to be any
more fun if I did it later, I picked up my clothes and headed towards
the laundry room.  Fortunately, there weren't all that many and I was
able to use all three of the machines at once.  

Melissa wandered in as I was switching the sodden clothes from the
washers to the dryers.   "Here you are!" She exclaimed when she saw
me.  "I went into my room to drop of my stuff and when I came back out
you had disappeared.  I thought you had gone back to the car for
something."

"Sorry," I apologized.  

"You should be," she retorted with a smile.  "I walked the whole way
up there on bare feet!"

"Poor baby."  It was hard to sympathize.  The bottoms of my feet were
like leather, a legacy of my mother who never wore shoes when she
could get away with it.  She passed the tradition on to me.  I had
spent most of the previous week without shoes, putting them on only to
come to dinner or to take some of the longer hikes through the rocky
paths.

"Smart ass," she accused.  She walked over to me as I stood and
wrapped her arms around me.  Pulling me tight, her lips hungrily
sought out mine.  Her hands moved up and down my back, then I felt one
move to my head and she intertwined her fingers in my hair.  I moved
my hands low on her sides, resting them in the hollow where her hips
started to flare out into her gorgeous legs.  Staying with a proven
winner, I fell back on the tricks I had learned the night before,
teasing her mouth with mine, drawing her tongue deep into my mouth and
then nipping back along her bottom lip.  Within seconds I could feel
breath coming in quick gasps and hear the quiet little moans escaping
her throat.  As this went on, we were both growing more and more
excited.  I could feel myself getting hard, my cock pinned between our
bodies as she ground her hips against me.  Her nipples were hard
buttons, pushing through the thin cloth of our shirts into my chest. 

And as incredible as it felt, I knew I was going to have to stop it.
I had to know what was going on.  It was better that I ruin things
before they go too far than screwing them up later.  But, now or
later, I was afraid ruining things was something I couldn't avoid.  I
slowed the tempo of our kisses, brushing my lips over hers one last
time before pulling my head back.  

"Melissa," I began.

"Yes, baby," she breathed against my cheek, "what is it?"

"There are a few things we've got to-" She interrupted me before I
could even start screwing things up.

"Don't worry, baby, there's no one in the dorm, I checked already."
She paused and planted another deep kiss on me.  Her kisses were
almost enough to make me forget my worries and just enjoy myself.  

Almost.  "That's not what I meant," pulling my mind back to the
matters at hand.  "I don't have a clue-"

Again she interrupted me, saying, "I already took care of that.  Where
do you think I was hiding at the market?   I've got them back in my
room.  Don't worry about it."

My eyes bulged at this news.  I hadn't realized that she had been
planning things to that extent.  The idea sort of frightened me.  It's
one thing to have one's good sense overcome in the heat of the moment,
but to actually plan this... I didn't even know how to refer to it in
my mind.  A tryst?  An encounter?  A one night stand, with all that it
entails?  I was fairly certain that the last was simply my own mind
running in gibbering circles.  I'd gotten to know Melissa well enough
over the last week to realize she didn't do things like this casually.
But it was now even more important to find out just what this was.  

I blew out an explosive breath, trying to get a grip on things.  She
wasn't making it easier for me to gather my thoughts, her head resting
on my shoulder and nibbling at my neck.   I had to get a little
distance between us, or I was never going to get through this.  I
tightened my grip on her sides and lifted her up to sit on the dryer.
She gasped at the unexpected movement.

"Melissa, listen to me.  As wonderful as this is, I still have some
questions that I need answered before anything else happens."

A somewhat confused look came over her face.  "What's wrong, don't you
like this?"  She asked in a surprised voice.  Her face fell and she
lowered her head.  "But I thought.  I mean after last night..."

I took her chin in my hand and raised her face so I could look her in
the eye.  "Melissa, I don't like this.  I love what's happening.  But
I still need to know what in the hell is going on!"

"I'm trying to get into your pants," she snapped angrily with her eyes
flashing in unexpected heat.  "Without much success so far."  She
shifted her weight to slide off the dryer.  I kept my hands on her
hips, effectively pinning her in her seat.  

"Thanks awfully, but I was able to figure that much out," I said
dryly.  "That's not what I meant, what I meant was 'Why?'"

"Because I like you, you dipshit!"  She had moved passed being
embarrassed and was on heating up to serious anger.  Being the coward
that I am, I leaned forward to place one of those thorough kisses she
had taught me about on her lips.  I wanted to stop her from working up
to the cussing out I probably deserved.  "Don't do that," she said
when we parted after a few moments.  Her soft voice belied her angry
words.  "That's cheating." 

"And I like you too, Melissa.  Very, very much.  But you have to
understand.  I wasn't expecting this, any of this to happen."  I
looked around and drew in a deep ragged breath.  "I'm not used to
this," I finished quietly.

"Well, I'm not used to this either," she snapped.  She paused for a
moment, seeming to gather her thoughts together.  "I've told you about
Roger, right?"  I nodded.  Roger had been an upperclassman when she
was a freshman and she had fallen desperately in love with him in her
first weeks at school.  They had spent a wonderful winter and spring
together, but when it came time to talk about visits during the
summer, he had become strangely reticent.  Within a couple of weeks
they had broken up, not all together amicably, I gathered from the way
she referred to him.  We had talked about it earlier in the week, in
one of our late night fireside conversations.  "What I didn't tell
you," she continued, "was what it did to me.  I didn't sleep, I didn't
eat and I certainly didn't study.  I almost failed my finals because
of what a mess I was.  During the last two years I've made sure, that
I didn't end up in that situation again.  I haven't been out on a date
in two years, because I tried to stay as far away from a relationship,
any relationship, as I could." Her face twisted into a grimace as she
continued, "And anyway, I'm not into the one night stand scene, which
is all most of those morons are looking for.

"And then, in the last week and a half, I've gotten to know you.
You're good, intelligent, sweet...  'Finally,' I thought, 'someone I
could spend some time with, someone who was worth spending time with,
someone who would actually talk to me, not just try getting me into
bed.'  And after last night, I realized that I wanted to do more than
spend time with you.  Last night felt so good.  It's been two damned
years, after all!  So last night I lay in bed and figure out a plan to
seduce you."  She jerked her head back and her eyes focused in on
mine.  "And now that it's been shot completely to hell, I'm going to
go back to my room."

"Like hell," I muttered as I pulled her in close.  Everything she had
taught me about kissing went into the kiss I gave her at that moment.
Every ounce of feeling and energy I had was wrapped up in it.   Once
her breath started coming in those familiar little gasps, I knew
everything was going to be all right.  She spread her legs and wrapped
them around my back, pulling me into her while her hands slipped up
around my neck.  I learned then just how easy it was to lose track of
time in a kiss like that.  When we finally broke free of each other's
mouths, I whispered in her ear, "You're not going anywhere without me.
Not unless you can convince me that's what you truly want." I paused
for a few seconds.  "And it will take a lot of convincing after a kiss
like that!"

She pulled her head back to look at me again.  "But I thought...  You
said..." The confused look was back on her face, her eyes questioning
me. 

"I said, I needed to know why.  And now I know."  I smiled at her and
leaned in for another kiss.  It wasn't quite so passionate as the last
one, but it would do in a pinch.  "And right now, I can't think of
anything I'd rather be doing."

"Then what was all that about?"  She really didn't understand.  

"I told you I wasn't used to this.  I've never done this before," I
said quietly.  

"Well, I've never done this before.  I've always gone out with guys
before I ended up in bed with them.  It's not as if-"  

"That's not exactly what I meant."

"Oh my God.  You mean...?" She trailed off as I nodded my head.

"Surprise," I said with sardonic amusement.  "I've never even had a
girlfriend," I added ruefully.  "Now do you understand why I was so
confused?  What in God's name would you, of all people, want with a
high school virgin?"

"And you still stopped me to make sure about what was going on?"  She
was absolutely stunned. 

"We're going to be working together, rather closely for the next few
weeks at a minimum.  I figured it was better to ruin the chance to be
with you this way, than to go ahead and take the risk of ruining
that."

"Jesus, you're something else.  If you were only a couple of years
older," she said wistfully, "I could really fall for you, you know
that?"  

"Trust me, I know the feeling," I muttered as I moved in for another
kiss.  The grip of her legs around my waist hadn't loosened
appreciably while we talked, but now it grew even tighter.  As our
mouths danced together, she pulled herself to me tightly, grinding her
hips into me.  The tumbling of the dryer added an interesting
vibration to the exercise, one I could definitely appreciate.  

I felt much better about the whole situation.  Maybe it was the age
difference that was holding me back from flinging myself headfirst
into falling in love.  But, by now, I was far beyond the point of
caring.  Glancing out the window, I was almost surprised to see that
it was still light out.  We had gotten back around six, and it had
been less than an hour since I had walked in here ostensibly to take
care of my laundry.  If I had known that it was going to turn out this
way, I probably would have done laundry every day for the last week.
Looking at the sky, I realized that we would probably have a couple of
hours alone, anyone came back for the night.  Besides, I wasn't all
that sure I cared if they showed up early or not.  

I kissed my way down her chin and along the side of her neck.  Her
skin was smooth and silky as I brushed my lips down to the hollow in
her throat.  Her legs relaxed slightly and my hands slid down over her
things.  The skirt she was wearing had ridden up, and looking down I
saw a thin strip of white covering her mound.  I slowly slid my body
down through her legs, mouthing her nipples through the thin covering
of her blouse on my way.  Kneeling between her legs, I dragged my
lightly tongue up and down each leg in turn, eliciting a shiver that I
could feel run through her body.  I may not have ever been here
before, but I did have some idea of what I was supposed to do.  

My heart was bounding in my chest and my head seemed to want to
abandon my body and float away on its own.  Leaning forward slightly I
licked quickly at the thin band of silk in front of me.  She had
already soaked through her panties and I savored my first taste of
her.  A deep guttural moan from above told me that I wasn't doing to
badly so far.  My tongue moved more insistently against the soft flesh
behind the silk covering.  I could feel her clit, hard and inflamed,
standing out from the yielding lips surrounding it. Rolling her hips
toward me, Melissa arched her back, forcing her clit against my mouth
in the process.  Using my own lips, I traced the folds and curves of
her pussy through the thin fabric that was rapidly becoming
translucent from a combination of what I was doing and the effect of
what I was doing.

'So this was what it was all about,' I thought to myself.  Being able
to do something so enjoyable and to get responses like this had
definitely modified the ideas I had about sex.  I was sure the
physical sensations would live up to their reputation, but this was
completely unexpected.  I was enough of a control freak to admit to
myself that holding this power was a huge turn on.  Burying my face
into her pussy with abandon, I wondered distantly what other surprises
there were in store for me.  I couldn't wait to find out.  

I felt one of her hands at the back of my head, pushing me against
with great insistence.  Raising eyes to look at her I saw her head
thrown back, with her eyes closed.  She was mumbling something under
her breath, but with her legs locked around me I couldn't make out
what she was saying.  I was pretty sure it wasn't anything
intelligible in any case.  My mouth was locked around her, all traces
of subtlety thrown to the wayside.  My hands spreading her legs
further apart, I ground my face into her, trying to force my tongue
through the thin barrier that separated us.  

Slowly, the rhythmic movement of her hips ground to a halt, she pushed
her body forward, balancing on her hands and lifting herself up off
the dryer.  I looked up, worried that something was wrong.    Her legs
were thrust straight out behind me and it seemed as though every
muscle in her body was contracting at once.  Her voice grew louder,
but I still I couldn't understand what she was saying.  Somehow, I
doubted that it really mattered.  

A tremor ran through her body as she hung suspended on my shoulders
and her arms.  Her voice dissolved into moans, growing louder as her
body began to jerk and twist in what I hoped was an orgasm.
Everything was new to me.  It was one thing to watch porn actresses on
a tape, it was quite another to experience it in real life, knowing
that you were causing it.  I redoubled my efforts, burrowing my tongue
even deeper into her pussy, trying to draw out and extend her
reactions.  

"Yes, god... Yes.  Oh please, keep going, just like that.  Just like
that, just like that, just like that..." For the first time I could
actually hear something coherent.  Her voice was vague and unfocused,
but the desire was obvious.  Her pleading trailed off into another
series of moans that again grew louder as I continued.  Eventually the
moans reached a frenzy as she pushed and forced her body into my
mouth, trying to extract the last traces of sensation.  A huge shudder
ran through the length of her body and she collapsed back onto the
dryer.  

Her breath came in quick little gasps, trying to recover.  As she
gathered herself and basked in the glow, I kept my mouth busy,
covering her silk clad pussy with long light strokes of my tongue.  

"Mmmmmm," she groaned, seeming quite pleased.  "You lied," she
accused, looking down and me.

I quirked my brows quizzically, since I didn't particularly feel like
stopping to ask what she was talking about.  

"You said you'd never done this before, you had to!"

I shook my head, which must have caused a rather interesting
sensation, judging by her reaction.  

"Ohhhh...  God..." Sighing deeply, she continued, "If you're telling
the truth, where in the hell did you learn how to do that?"

I shrugged.  Tearing my mouth away, I rested my head on her mons and
answered.  "Just because I'm a virgin, doesn't mean that I don't have
some clue of what's supposed to happen.  I've seen enough bad porn
movies and read enough bad stories to at least figure that much out.
I'm not completely stupid, you know," I finished virtuously.  

"I've noticed that, from time to time," she said laughing.  "Come up
here." She reached down to pull me up again.  She pulled herself
upright, flowing into my arms as I stood up.  She wasted no time,
bringing her face close and driving her mouth against mine.  Our
tongues danced and fenced with each other's, playing at the entrance
of our mouths and then driving deep.  

"Now what?"  I asked her.

She looked at me in amazement, "I thought that would have been
obvious!"  She broke into giggles for a moment.  "There's no way
you're getting away without finishing what you started."

"Um, that's not exactly what I meant.  Let me try again; where, when,
and most importantly how long?"

"Hmm, wherever, soon, and all night, if we can manage.  Does that
clear things up for you, sport?"

"Not particularly, no," I said dryly.  She was looking at me, her eyes
dancing with amusement.  She was starting to enjoy my discomfort just
a little too much.  I leaned forward to kiss her, hard.  It took her
mind off my confused ramblings.  At least for a moment or two.  She
moaned in disappointment when I pulled away, but first things first.
"I meant, are we going to stay in the dorm tonight?  I don't know
about you, but I'm not thrilled with the idea of people starting to
wander in while we're in the middle of something."

"What's the matter, ashamed of me?"  She teased.

"Hardly.  But how do you think Sam or Lydia or one of the temps would
react?  We are supposed to be working together, not sleeping
together," I reminded her.

"I know, I know.  I've been thinking about it, because I do want to
stay with you tonight." She paused and then continued on hesitantly.
"I don't want to just fuck and then go on our merry way.  I told you,
I'm not into one-night stands."

"How about a three month stand?"  I asked quietly.

"What?"  I think I finally managed to surprise her.  "What are you
talking about?"

"Well, I'm going to be here the rest of the summer, and I couldn't
help but notice that you are going to be here for the rest of the
summer.  And it does look like we're going to be working together for
the foreseeable future.  At least the next three weeks, that is.  And,
well, it just seemed like a good idea."

She peered into my face, rather intently and her face took on a
strange expression.  "Dave," she asked, "are you in love with me?"

I knew that the answer was very important and I had to be completely
truthful, and very careful.  "No, I don't think so actually.  I think
I could fall in love with you, very easily, but I'm not.  I was
thinking about it last night, actually."  I paused for a moment,
trying to find the right words to express what I was feeling.  "It's
not the age difference, believe it or not.  Four years isn't that
much.  It's..." I was grasping for something.  "It's the fact that, no
matter how I might feel, it's not the right time, for either of us, to
have this kind of relationship.  I knew that even before you told me.
And there are other reasons..." I trailed off.

"There's someone else, isn't there?"

"Yes and no.  Not exactly.  There might be someone, but it's a very
weird situation."  I thought it over, and decided that Melissa
deserved to know the truth of the matter.  "She's just someone at
school.  It's one of those 'worship from afar' things.  And to make
things even more fun, she's in love with my best friend."  I laughed
an unhappy laugh.  "If we threw in a few blind old women, we'd have
the perfect Greek tragedy.

"But none of that really matters, and I know it.  I'm not in love with
you, at least at the moment.  If you're still single after next year,
I'll probably have to rethink things, though," I added slyly.

She smiled and kissed me thoroughly.  Apparently I had passed the
test, thankfully.  The kiss quickly became serious with Melissa trying
to wrap herself around my body.  I snaked my arms around her and
squeezed her tight.  I may not, in fact, be in love with her, but I
knew that having her in my arms was a feeling I could easily become
used to.  

"We're getting off the subject again," she murmured after a little
more time had passed rather pleasantly.  "How are we going to do
this?"

"Well," I started, thinking quickly, "There's one option we might want
to look at.  We could spend the night down at the campsite."  It was
remote, and without any kids in the camp, it was doubtful that anyone
would be roaming around late at night.  More importantly, to me at
least, we would have the opportunity to spend the night together
without any worries about having about being interrupted.  

She thought it over, and a smile spread across her face.  "Do you
think we could fit two of those bunks side by side in those tents?"
She asked with a twinkle in her eyes.  

"Oh, I'm pretty sure that we could figure something out," I laughed in
return.  

She turned, cast a glance at the dryers, and then looked at me with a
speculative look in her eye.  "Do you want to wait for your clothes,
we can take them down with us."

"It would save a trip tomorrow morning," I admitted.  "And I think I
know of a way to pass the time."  Kissing seemed to be the traditional
way to start things off, and who was I to argue with traditions?  Her
lips were soft and sensuous, yielding and active against my mouth.
Emboldened by what had gone before, my hands ranged over her body,
cupping her small firm breasts and using my fingertips to tease her
nipples through her blouse and thin bra.  I busied myself, undoing
each button down the front of her blouse, following my hand with my
lips, brushing across the skin of her chest and kissing the top of
each breast as it swelled over her small lace bra.  

I had some trouble with the bra.  It was the first one I'd ever been
confronted with and the front snap stymied me for a few seconds.  I
eventually got it figured out, slipping the clasp open to reveal two
small but perfect tits.  They were absolutely beautiful, sitting high
on her ribcage and topped by hard, rose colored nipples.  I cupped
them again, this time without coming between us.  I used my thumbs to
rub against those nipples, feeling them crinkle up and grow even more
erect under my touch.  Her hands dropped down from my shoulder to
cover mine, squeezing them closed.  A small moan escaped her mouth as
I gripped her tits more firmly.  Her hands slid up my arms and around
my neck, guiding my mouth to each nipple in turn.  I sucked and licked
each of them and discovered that if I dragged my teeth over them
gently, I could produce a shiver and moan of satisfaction each time.
She pressed my face against her tit, trying, it seemed, to force as
much of her into my mouth as she possibly could.  I opened my mouth as
wide as possible, circling her nipple and flicking my tongue over it
in feather touches.  She arched her back even further, moaning in
frustration, trying to force me to suck it up into my mouth.  Instead,
I moved to her other breast and gave it the same treatment.  

After several minutes, she was literally whimpering, "Please, David.
Please suck it.  Oh God, baby, please, use your mouth."  I finally
relented, sucking in as much as I possibly could up into my mouth and
using my tongue on her nipple at the same time.  "Oh, yes, yes, Oh God
yes.  Oh, that's better.  Mmmm, thank you, baby, thank you."  

After repeating on her other nipple, I moved lower, licking the
underside of her tits, moving back and forth from one to another
trying to cover every square inch I could, without allowing my
movements to fall into a predictable rhythm.  I moved my hand between
our bodies and slid it down, covering her mound with it.  Pushing and
rubbing back and forth, I could feel the warm wetness that we had
produced earlier, making her panties a sodden mess.  

Dropping down to my knees once again, I reached up to slip my hands
through the waistband of her underwear, pulling them down her long
slim legs.  She quickly raised her ass up off the dryer, helping me to
get rid of them as quickly as possible.  I dropped the soaking panties
into the open duffel bag sitting beside me, not wanting to forget them
and leave any evidence behind.  Her skirt was pushed up over her hips,
and she spread her legs as I leaned forward.  For the first time, I
was able actually to see what I had tasted.  Her pubic hair was as
light as the hair on her head.  It was closely trimmed, a narrow blond
'v' that started from just above her clit.  My mouth closed over her
bare mound drawing her up into my mouth.  The lips of her pussy were
very full-fleshed and pouty, but incredibly soft.  As soon as my lips
touched her, it felt as if an electric current had shot through my
body.  She moaned and thrashed about above me sliding forward until
she was seated on the very edge of the dryer.  I looked up to watch
her, while my mouth continued its exploration.  Her bra kept getting
in her way and she was getting more exasperated by the moment.
Eventually, she let loose a curse under her breath and slipped the
blouse of her shoulders and quickly removed the offending item. It
soon joined her panties, wadded up and dropped in the duffel bag.  She
slipped the blouse back over her shoulder, just in case.   

I pulled my mouth back an inch, allowing the tip just my tongue to
slide over the supple lips of her pussy.  Melissa raised her legs,
which had been draped over my shoulders, and placed her feet astride
my neck.  Spreading them even wider, she leaned forward, balanced
precariously upright.  By contorting my neck just so, I could raise my
eyebrows and catch glimpses of her as I licked and sucked her soft
tender pussy.  Her head was bowed, looking down at me with unfocused
eyes while her hands cupped her tits, rolling the nipples between her
fingers.  Her change in position made it easier to pay attention to
her clit than anywhere else, so I did.  Far smaller than anything I'd
ever seen on the grainy and poorly lit porn movies I'd seen so far, it
was tiny.  But it also seemed to be exquisitely sensitive.  The
lightest touch of my tongue or lips seemed to send jolts of pleasure
through her body, causing her to jerk her body in shock each time my
tongue moved.  Each spasm was accompanied by an abortive moan that
seemed to be ripped out of her from somewhere deep inside.  

I buried my mouth over her mound sucking in as much as I could.  The
clitoral hood surrounding that hard little button was fleshy and as
soft as foam.  I rolled the delectable morsel in my mouth, sliding my
tongue back and forth across the tender surfaces.  When it slid back
out, my teeth accidentally brushed against her erect clit, causing a
startled exclamation from Melissa.  I looked up, questioning.  I was
afraid I had done something wrong.

"Oh God," she gasped.  "Do that again!"

As if I would ever refuse such a plaintive request from a lady.
Keeping my jaws slightly separated; I inhaled her clit into my mouth,
causing my teeth to drag along both top and bottom.  Apparently, it
was close enough, causing her to go wild.  Her hips started to buck in
fits and starts, trying to mash her pussy against my face.  She threw
her head back and moaned, a long rising note that climbed into the
upper registers. I noticed her fingers were not simply rolling her
nipples any longer.  She was actually pinching and twisting them, her
fingers pulling on them until they looked distended.  

She came with very little warning.  Suddenly her hands were at the
back of my head once again forcing my mouth forward against her.  The
movement of her hips shifted into high gear, moving faster and faster
which made it difficult to keep my mouth on her clit.  I took it in
between my teeth, not biting but simply holding it still.  I flicked
over it with my tongue, alternating quick light touches with long slow
strokes that pressed it against my teeth.  

Her moans changed pitch and became actual shrieks of incoherent
pleasure while her body moved faster and faster, finally reaching a
crescendo together.  She suddenly became very still, the muscles of
her body tight with concentration.  Her moans had trailed off into
silence broken only by the quick gasps of her breath.  She held
absolutely still while I continued to draw her clit in and out of my
mouth, through my teeth each time.  After only a few seconds her voice
seemed to reassert itself and she uttered a series of high pitched
noises with each sharp intake of breath.  Her body softened suddenly
and a low moan escaped her lips. 

"That's enough," she said weakly, her hands on my shoulders for
support.  I could feel her legs shaking where they rested on my
shoulders next to her hands.  She was leaning forward, barely able to
support herself for the moment.  I lavished a few long, soft strokes
of my tongue over her engorged pussy, savoring the subtle changes in
her flavor after her orgasm.  After all, isn't a cool-down period
advised after exercise?  Each stroke seemed to cause a small shiver to
run through her.  I didn't want to push my luck, so I slowed to a stop
and looked up at her with an incredibly self-satisfied smile splitting
my face from ear to ear.  The dryers had finished spinning at some
point while we had been distracted and I was suddenly aware of how
quiet the room was. 

"So, how'd I do for my first time, coach?"  I asked a little
impudently.  

She opened her eyes and looked down at me with a wan little smile.
"Well, sport, it certainly looks as thought you've got some native
talent there."

I slipped her legs off my shoulders and stood up for another one of
those stellar kisses.  After the kiss she slipped down off the dryer
and ran her fingers through her hair, which was in complete disarray.
I picked up the duffel bag and went down the line of dryers, tossing
the warm clothes in.  I probably should have asked if she wanted her
panties and bra, but I didn't really care at that point and the idea
of her walking through the camp in that condition excited me even
more.  I was still new to everything that was going on, and the little
things can be quite interesting at that point.  By the time the duffel
bag was slung over my shoulder, she had already made herself
'presentable' and was ready to go.  We embraced for a quick kiss
before showing ourselves to the outside world.

Chapter 5

We stopped briefly in our rooms to make sure we had everything we
would need, not only for our night together but also for the week's
work together.  Satisfied, we walked out the dorm on our way to the
tents.  It was the gloaming, after the sun had set and while there is
still enough light from the sky to see the colors start to blend
together, ending up as a muted monochrome.  The camp still seemed to
be deserted as we made our way down the path past the mess hall.  The
Camp Administrator's cabin was situated just off the path, and I could
see from the lights on the front porch that Sam and Lydia, at least,
were probably still around.  As we walked, Melissa slipped her arm
around my waist, almost knocking the back from my shoulder.
Readjusting the weight, I wrapped her in my free arm, my hand resting
on her hip as we walked. I could feel the smooth flexing of her
muscles under my palm with each step she took.  Although I knew I
probably shouldn't but there was no way I could resist and we were
screened from any prying eyes by the lush undergrowth. I decided to
hell with it, and dropped my hand down under the hem of her skirt,
caressing the smooth skin of her ass.  

My touch startled her and she let out a little gasp of surprise and
almost lost her step.  She adjusted quickly though.  "Mmmmm," she
murmured, tilting her hips and pressing back against my hand.  Her ass
was firm and supple, barely yielding as my hands ranged over it.
After walking for several minutes, I cast a quick look over my
shoulder.  Even if there was someone wandering around, the path had a
number of twists and turns and we were well past the buildings of the
camp.  I took a breath, trusted my luck and slipped my hand lower,
sliding my finger between her thighs to tickle her still wet pussy.  

"Uungh," she moaned deeply and leaned against me, off balance.  "Oh,
god.  You're cheating again."  We stuttered to a halt, standing in the
middle of the path.  She didn't really seem to mind that much.  Her
hand dug into my side as fingers continued to trace the folds of her
slit lightly.  Her hand closed in reaction where it rested on my side.
She had surprisingly strong hands, and the extra flesh I tended to
accumulate there served as an excellent handle.  I pushed my fingers
between her lips, touching lightly on the entrance to her cunt with my
middle finger.  She moaned again, then pulled away from me with a
jerk.  I was terrified.  I thought that perhaps I had overstepped some
unspoken boundary and look at her with more than a little trepidation
in my eyes.

I shouldn't have worried.  Grabbing my hand, she pulled me towards the
woods the side of the path.  In the hustle, I dropped the bag from my
shoulder.  When I slowed to pick it up, she yanked on my hand, urging
me along.  "It's not going to go anywhere, Dave.  It will be there
when were done," she said breathlessly, dropping her small bundle on
top.  I shrugged to myself.  If she wasn't going to worry about it,
neither was I.  She led me along, seeming to be looking for something
as we walked, until, several yards off the trail she found what she
wanted.  

Want she wanted, apparently was a large tree, almost a foot and a half
in diameter.  She leaned back against it and drew me to her.  It was
very dark underneath the canopy of leaves, but I could make out a
feverish gleam in her eyes.  Crushing her lips to mine, she drove her
tongue deep into my mouth.  When I responded similarly, it seemed as
though she was trying to rip mine out by the root.  

I lowered my hand between her leg to resume my explorations.  Pulling
her mouth away she said, "No, not like that baby.  Like before."  With
that she drifted her lips across mine again, and with a mysterious
smile, turned to face the tree.  She put her arms out to steady her
and bent over at the waist.  I stood next to her, one hand reaching
under her shirt to cup her tits.  My other hand slid down the curve of
her ass, sliding slowly across to slip between her legs.  I slid my
finger between her lips, drawing a deep furrow in her flesh.  

"Oh, yes," she almost whispered.  "Just like that, put it in me,
baby...  I need it in me."  She seemed to be making an effort to be a
little quieter now.  It rapidly growing dark, even out on the path,
and the underbrush completely blocked anyone from possibly catching an
accidental glimpse from walking by, but a shriek of pleasure could
definitely give us away in the unlikely event that someone was out and
about.  

Using my other fingers, I slowly spread her lips, pushing them back to
expose the actual opening of her pussy to my searching finger.  I
eased my middle finger inside, slowly pressing into the warm wet
entrance.  She was having none of it.  She arched her back, thrusting
her hips into my hand and forcing my finger deep inside.  As the palm
of my hand pressed into her ass, she actually purred in satisfaction.


The feeling was incredible.  It was hot and wet and engulfed my
finger, pressing in upon it on all sides.  The walls of her cunt were
smooth and slick as I slid it in and out.  Instead of the deep
throated moaning I had become used to, Melissa pursed her lips
together and whimpered in pleasure as I thrust deeply in and out with
my finger.  I could feel her wetness running down my finger, slowly
spreading out and moistening the back of my hand.  I was jerked from
my reverie by her hand, coming down off the trunk of the tree and
grabbing a hold of mine.  She took it and placed it over her breast,
pressing up strongly and grinding it into her body through her blouse.
I may be new at this, but I can take a hint as well as the next guy.
Probably better, in fact.  I remembered how she had worked over her
nipples when I had gone down on her in the laundry room, and did what
I could to emulate what I had seen.  I played my fingers over her
nipple, rubbing with my thumb, then taking it between two fingers,
squeezing and twisting gently.  I moved my hand back and forth between
each of her tits, playing with one for a few minutes before turning my
attention back to the other.  With her arms raised over her head to
help support her against the tree, her breasts were pulled taunt,
smooth firm mounds of flesh pressing out through the silky fabric.  

My other hand was still busy between her legs.  I slid my finger out
until only the very tip remained inside her, holding it there for a
few seconds before slowly pushing it back in, repeating it again and
again, moving faster each time.  Soon my hand was actually making
'slapping' noises and I pumped in and out of her slit.  Within a few
moments, it was obvious, even to me, that she was quickly approaching
another orgasm.  It didn't seem quite as intense as her previous
examples, but when her hips started to buck in that almost familiar
rhythmic motion, pushing back to meet my hand on each thrust, even I
knew it happening.  I looked towards her face and saw she had sucked
her lower lip into her mouth, gripping it with her teeth in an effort
to keep herself quiet even at the height of orgasm.  

Her trembling slowly eased as I slipped my finger out of her, cupping
her mound gently with my hand.  As she pushed herself up from the
tree, she stretched languorously, raising her hands high over her head
and working the tightness out of the muscles in her back.  Standing,
she turned so that we stood back to front, and reached back with both
hands she caught my head and pulled me tight up against her.  I
reached around to her front, running my hands up and down, flat
against the curves of her body.  She turned her head to kiss me, a
slow gentle kiss without demands.  

"Thank you, baby," she said with our lips on an inch apart.  "I really
needed that."

"Glad I could lend a hand."  She rolled her eyes at this incredibly
obvious pun.  "I told you I was new at this.  I can't be good at
everything."

She broke up laughing.  It felt very good, very comfortable, standing
there.  I was incredibly turned on, looking forward to the rest of our
night together, but at the same time I was also strangely content.  If
nothing else happened tonight, I'd be satisfied.  At that point, I
learned what sex was all about.  At least to me.  I knew that actually
having sex would be incredible, far outstripping masturbation.  But at
the same time, I had had orgasms before.  They would probably be
better, stronger and more intense, but they would still be orgasms.
But this, this was something completely different.  To be with
someone, and feel her orgasm and knowing that I was the one who was
causing it.  That was mind-shattering, if only for the fact that I had
never suspected it.  Orgasms were fun, they were nice and they were
enjoyable.  But this was heady wine, indeed.  The feelings of power,
the ability to affect someone on a level this deep, combined with the
enjoyment I felt from being with Melissa were threatening to overwhelm
me.

"I'm sorry, honey, what did you say?"  I had completely missed what
she had said to me, lost in the new discovery.

She giggled.  "I'm the one that just came, you shouldn't be floating
out in la-la land, it should be me!"

I grinned and kissed her again.  "My apologies.  I'll try to be more
attentive from now on."

"Oh no!  If you get any more 'attentive' I'm going to pass out!"

"You say that as if it's a bad thing."  I slid my hands low and began
to lightly tease her pussy in response to the idea.

"Mmmm," she answered, grinding her ass back against me.  My cock,
which had been hard for most of the night, answered the call once more
and sprang to attention.  Nestled it in the hollow between her cheeks
and started moving to the same rhythm.  After only a few seconds,
however, she gave a little toss of her head and pulled away.  "C'mon,
if we don't get moving we're never going to get to there."  Grabbing
my hand once more, she led me back through the darkness to the path.  

We hadn't spent more than 15 minutes in our little wilderness tryst,
but the transition from dusk to dark is quick, particularly deep in
the forest.  I grabbed the bag we had left at the edge of the woods,
and we made our way down the path in good order.  We had walked the
path several times a day, and night, for the last week, so we didn't
fumble around much, and since we didn't have to ride herd on a group
of sixth graders, we made it in five minutes, instead of the normal
15.  

There was a moment of confusion when we arrived at the campsite.  We
had decided to spend the night in 'the tent' and each of us naturally
assumed that we would be sleeping in the same tent we had been for the
past week.  We laughed and I dumped my bag in 'my' tent, exchanging it
for my sleeping bag.  I hurried across to join her in the girls' tent.
She already had the lantern lit and had begun arranging the beds.
Another five minutes and we had two bunks pushed together near the
front of the tent, but we found to our disappointment that the wire
springs and steel frames didn't leave a very comfortable surface.  We
dithered for a moment, and then Melissa came up with the idea of
overlapping the extra mattresses on top of the frame.  It wasn't
perfect, but it was infinitely better than what we had.  We quickly
spread the sleeping bags open and everything seemed ready.

All of a sudden, I was nervous.  Fortunately for me, Melissa wasn't,
or at least she didn't show it.   She pushed me down to sit on the
edge of the bed, then climbed on top of me, straddling my legs.
Leaning forward, she took my face in her hands and kissed me soundly.
A kiss like that can do wonderful things and it managed to banish any
nervousness without a backward glance.  My hands slid along her legs,
moving back to hold the globes of her ass.  I gently squeezed, pushing
her soft mound into me.  She quickly unbuttoned her shirt, shrugging
it off without her lips ever leaving mine.  Reaching down, the side
buttons on her skirt were quickly unfastened and it joined her shirt,
lying empty on the floor.  For the first time I could actually see
her, all of her; and the view was absolutely magnificent.  I'd seen
the various parts already, but the simple fact that she was actually
naked made all the difference.  Her fingers didn't rest, after
disposing of her clothes she quickly went to work on mine, almost
ripping my shirt over my head.  Climbing off me, she pulled me up to
stand with her, her hands working feverishly to open my shorts slide
them down my legs.  I kicked them off my feet, quickly followed by my
underwear.  As soon as they were gone, Melissa slid up against me
again, pressing her body to mine from forehead to feet, or as close as
we could get.  And it was wonderful.  All that exposed skin against
all my exposed skin; my body felt as if it was on fire where we
touched.  I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her down with me
onto the heavily cushioned bed.  We scrambled around a little, getting
comfortable until we were lying, side by side on the bed facing each
other.  Propping my head up with one hand, I looked at her in the glow
of the lantern.  She was incredible.  Her bright lively eyes were
gleaming in the light, and the warm glow lit up her skin like a halo.
I reached out and trailed my fingers along her body from just under
her arm down as far as I could reach.  I could feel the shiver follow
my fingers down. 

In turn, she reached down and wrapped her fingers around my cock,
causing me to jump from the shock of the contact.  She pulled herself
closer which trapped both her hand and my cock between our bodies.
Moving my hand across her back, I slid it down between her legs and
began to massage the warm wet folds of her pussy.  After a few
moments, our hands growing more and more insistent, she sat up with a
start.  Leaning across me, she reached over the side of the bed.  I
could feel the firm bulges of her breasts pressing into my stomach.  I
ran my hands over her back while she busied herself rummaging through
something on the floor.  

"Got it," she muttered.  Rolling back over top of me, she kissed me
again in passing.  In her hand was the glistening form of a condom.
She quickly unrolled it over my erection, with only minor fumbling
around.  The lube covering the rubber was a little cold, but it didn't
last long.  Hastily she gave it a few quick strokes with her hand,
making sure it wasn't going to go soft without any warning.  Not
bloody likely.  She clambered atop me, and while looking down into my
face, slowly lowered herself over top of my cock.  At that point, I
became very grateful for the rubber.  Without it, I would have cum in
a matter of seconds from the feeling that engulfed me.  I had come
close enough to spontaneous combustion earlier, but was able to hold
off because I was too fascinated with what I was doing to her.  This
was completely different.  Without that little sheath protecting me,
our lovemaking would have turned into one of the more painful clichés
about first encounters.  And I would have been absolutely mortified.  

As it was, I was worried.  I knew I wouldn't be able to last very long
at all.  The sensations, both physical and emotional, were contriving
to make my first actual experience a short one.  I just hoped I'd be
able to hold on long enough to keep from disappointing her. 

At that point, however, she certainly didn't seem to be disappointed.
She had her legs spread wide and was rhythmically rolling her pelvis
back and forth, not only forcing me deep up inside her but also
grinding her clit against my crotch at each apex.  As she was sitting
upright, I was able to reach up and pull her nipples between thumb and
forefinger, pinching and rolling them around as she continued her
gyrations.  

"Oh, yes..." She wasn't moaning anymore.  Her noises could only be
described as quite screams.  Sharp and piercing, they weren't all that
loud, at least not yet they weren't.  I started to rock my hips along
with hers, timing it so I pushed up each time she rolled forward.  Her
slow thrusts quickly increased pace, they moved faster and faster,
grinding against me with greater abandon than the one before.  

Suddenly I realized that I was going to cum, and it was going to
happen soon.  The familiar feeling started, by balls feeling as if
they were contracting and trying to draw themselves up into my
stomach.  I grunted a warning as my hands flew from her nipples to her
hips and I began pumping in and out of my own volition.  I seemed to
be lifting her almost completely off me with each thrust, then pulling
her back down with my hands.  It seemed just the trick to push her
over the edge as well.  With shuddering groans we moved against each
other, completely lost in the sensations we were causing.  Within
seconds I could feel myself exploding, and it seemed to go on much
longer than anything I had ever experienced by myself.

I fell back on the bed, completely spent.  My legs were trembling,
along with most of the rest of my body.  With a rippling moan, Melissa
collapsed down atop me, limp.  I couldn't speak quite yet, so I
contented myself with wrapping her up in my weak embrace.  

After a few moments of recuperating, I finally gathered enough
strength to whisper into her ear.  "Sorry about that, love.  I hoped
to last a little longer."  I paused for a few seconds, hoping for a
response, but she remained silent.  "And thank you, very, very much."
I kissed the top of her head affectionately.  It was the only place I
could reach without moving, and I wasn't nearly ready to move.  

After several more seconds of silence, she finally began to stir.
With a long-suffering groan, she lifted her head to look at me.
"Sorry?  Thank you?  Sport, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Well," I began uncertainly, "the thank you should be fairly obvious,
shouldn't it?  And the 'sorry' was for... Well, I just thought that
maybe it was over a little umm, quick.  I didn't want you to be too
disappointed."

Her eyes widened and she dropped her head, burying her face in my
shoulder.  Her body started to shake, but I had no idea if she was
laughing or crying.  When she raised her face, it seemed like a little
of both.  "You idiot," she said with a smile.  "What the hell were you
expecting?  Were you going to just go and go and go and go until you
decided that we'd had enough?"

"Well...."

"Oh god, you did, didn't you?"  She buried her head in my chest and
dissolved into laughter.

Apparently my ideas about sex had been a little too influenced by
those bad porn movies and cheap 'Dear Penthouse, I never thought this
could happen to me' letters and not enough by reality. .  It's not
that I thought of them as realistic depiction's, I somehow doubted
that most would react to finding her husband in bed with her best
friend by saying 'Move over, dear, I've always wanted a piece of
Mary's ass myself.' If they could seem to stay hard for as long as
needed and cum on command, why couldn't I?  Now that she mentioned it,
it did seem just a tad naïve.  I suppose it's one of my failings, if I
can visualize it, I figure I should simply be able to do it.  There's
an annoying tendency to overlook the niggling details of reality.  

"So I didn't do too badly, then?" I asked hesitantly.  

"You putz," she said softly.  She could tell that it was important to
me.  Not that she tell me that I was the best lover she'd ever had,
but simply that I had managed to give back a small portion of the
pleasure she had given me.  "This is one of the best nights I've ever
had.  Is that good enough for you?"

"Just fine," I said, immensely relieved.  I had slowly grown soft as
we talked and with her shifting around, I slid out of her with an
audible 'plop.'  We got up long enough to clean ourselves up a little
and to turn out the lantern and thankfully, Melissa remembered to set
her little travel alarm clock, just in case.  The reaction, if someone
was forced to come hunting for us the next morning, wasn't worth
contemplating.  With everything that had gone on, we were both
exhausted and were soon asleep in each other's arms.  

Chapter 6

That night changed everything, and nothing, between us.  We grew
closer together, both as friends and lovers.  We learned about each
other's bodies and reactions, each Saturday night a new voyage of
discovery about what worked and what didn't.  In spite of her
aggressive pursuit of me, something I still could not fathom, Melissa
didn't have a great deal more experience than I did.  There had been
her relationship with Roger, of course, and a guy in high school, but
she didn't offer many details about him, and I didn't press.  From
what she did say, however, I could figure out for myself that it
hadn't been a pleasant way to lose her virginity.  

The summer went on, and we went with it.  Although we didn't always
work together at the same camp, there were always a few opportunities
to be together for a few stolen moments during the week.
Unfortunately, there was never enough time to do anything in those few
moments.  Those weeks, our Saturday night rendezvous tended to be a
little more intense than usual, both of us desperately needing the
physical and emotional release of the tensions the built up over the
week.  There were a few questions from the other counselors about the
fact that we seemed to disappear each Saturday, and didn't reappear
until the following morning.  We ignored them.  After that first
night, we never stayed in the tent or cabin in which we had been
working that week.  We picked one, virtually at random, the only
caveat being that it must be isolated.  All in all it worked out quite
well and I was deliriously happy with the situation, over all. 

We both knew the summer wasn't going to last forever, and as we neared
the end we both grew a little somber.  I don't think either of us
expected the bonds between us to grow as strong as they did that
summer.  Although we still weren't in love with each other, I knew for
my part that it was going to tear me apart to be separated from her.
Our last week together was very quiet between the two of us.  We were
working in two different sections of the camp, not just different
campsites, and it severely interfered with our interaction.  Even when
we did manage to talk to each other face to face, she was strangely
reticent, deflecting my attempts to talk about our last night
together.  

Smiling a sad, mysterious little smile, she'd shake her head and say,
"We'll see, sport, we'll see."  

After the fifth time, I simply shrugged my shoulders and resolved to
wait until Saturday, when we'd have more time together.  She might not
feel the need to talk about our situation, but I certainly did.  

The last Saturday finally arrived, and after getting through the
circus of the parent's arrival, pick up and departure, I went in
search of her.  Unfortunately, I had been forced to spend two hours
waiting on a parent whose car had broken down.  Kara, the little girl
was in the third grade, was sitting there all alone after all her
friends had left.  I did what I could to help pass the time.  I had
just about exhausted my repertoire of funny voices, games and songs
when the station wagon finally pulled in.  Her father apologized
profusely and thanked me warmly for looking after his daughter before
throwing her bag in the car for the return trip.  When I finally was
able to try and catch up to Melissa, I couldn't find hide or hair of
her.  I spent several hours wandering through the camp, trying to
track her down.  Finally returning to the dorm around five, I found an
envelope sitting on my bunk.   It was addressed to me, and I
recognized her handwriting.  

Picking it up, I suddenly got a very cold feeling in the pit of my
stomach.  It couldn't be what I thought it was.  Most of the
counselors were planning on staying the night and attending the end of
year party planned for tonight, but I knew of at least two who had
already packed and left.  One of them, Kevin, had been heading for
Melissa's hometown.  If she had gotten a ride from him, and left me
with this note as a way of saying goodbye I was going to have a
tantrum.  My tantrums, unfortunately, had a tendency to be very
spectacular.  And very destructive.  I thought that perhaps it might
be a better idea if I left the room before reading it.  There were far
too many breakable things in the room.  The windows, the mirror...
the door.  I stalked outside and off the porch.  If I was about to be
given the 'kiss off', I was damned if I would happen in where anyone
could see.  A brief walk past the parking lot and I found the swimming
pool area completely deserted.  It was close enough.  With trembling
hands I peeled open the envelope and read.  It was short and to the
point:

'Meet me at exactly 8:00 in the snake room.  Don't come early, or
you'll regret it."

It was written in block letters, but I knew.  I had worked myself up
into a froth for nothing.  I laughed when I re-read the directions.
'The snake room' meant the cabin at the Sioux campsite out in the
Tribes.  She had worked the campsite a couple of weeks before, and had
told me about one of her campers.  He had informed the rest of the
campers that the word 'Sioux' actually meant snake.  Whether or not it
was true, I had no idea.  And I really didn't care.  It was simply a
safe way to tell me where to meet her, just in case someone was
snooping through the room before I arrived. 

Well, there was certainly no way I was going to miss this, whatever
'this' was.  But I might not do it quite the way she expected.
Thrusting the note into my pocket, I hurried back to my room.  I had
spent most of the morning in the sun and spending the afternoon
running all over the camp hadn't done much to improve my fragrance.  I
grabbed a quick shower, whatever she had planned, I didn't think that
showing up smelling like a polecat would improve the mood.  

I grabbed my keys and ran up to the car.  A half an hour later I was
wolfing down a Big Mac and fries on my way back to the camp.  Instead
of pulling into the main driveway, however, I continued down the
narrow road for another mile.  I pulled off the blacktop onto a rutted
dirt road that led back down through the forest to the Tribes.  It was
slow going.  The Ford, after all, was not built with off-roading in
mind.  After about a half mile, I realized that my car was never going
to make it the whole way without running the risk of punching a hole
in the oil pan or some other equally vulnerable part on the underside.
I was able to make it to a small clearing, where I was able to pull
off and would at least have room to turn the beast around.  The
thought of trying to back the car out of the road gave me the shivers.
I had to reorient myself to the geography since I wasn't used to
coming in this way.  I hurried down the trail, trying not to break an
ankle in the deep furrows.  When I was within a few hundred feet, I
broke off the trail, circling around to the right through the woods.
I wanted to come up on the cabin from the rear.  I figured she would
automatically chose the girls cabin, just as she had the first night.
It took me a little longer than I had expected and I didn't near the
cabin until almost 7:00.  It was cutting it tight, but I hoped I'd be
all right.  I moved very slowly once the cabin came into view through
the scrub underbrush.  Walking carefully, I found a small thicket that
would conceal me, while at the same time giving me a good view of the
trail and the front door of the cabin.  

So it was a sneaky, dirty and underhanded thing to do, I'm like that
sometimes.  Besides, I owed her.  And I really wanted to know what the
hell was going on before I stumbled into it, I'm like that sometimes
too.  I settled down into my little spot and relaxed, trying not to
think about what she had in mind.  I didn't have long to wait.  I saw
her come into view down the trial from the camp.  She was carrying a
rather large bag over her shoulder and seemed to be distracted as she
hurried down the path to the cabin.  She stopped and gave the area a
quick look.  I laughed to myself, nice to see she trusted me.  Well, I
was proving her right.  I waited and watched.  She went into the cabin
and I didn't see her again for almost ten minutes.  I could hear her
moving things around and assumed she was arranging the beds.  After a
few moments of silence, I saw her walk back out of the cabin.  She was
dressed in a robe and had a towel slung over her neck.  The showers
were only a short distance away, but the sound of the water would
definitely cover the noise of my retreat.  Once I heard the water
start, I left the little thicket and moved back the way I had come.  

Another fifteen minutes and I was standing next to my car, wondering
what the hell the night had in store for me.  I probably smoked half a
pack of cigarettes over the next half-hour, waiting for the appointed
time to roll around.  When my watch finally read five to eight, I
squared my shoulders and, like any good soldier following orders,
marched down the road to my fate. 

I timed it rather well, even if I do say so.  At precisely 8:00, I
knocked on the door of the cabin.  

Chapter 7

"Come in," she called.  She sounded almost as nervous as I felt.  I
took a deep breath, exhaled and walked in.

"Oh my..." I tailed off.  Candles, dozens of them, lit the room.
Spread over every available surface, they cast a warm even glow
throughout the room.  I saw something out of the corner of my eye and
turned to look.  She stood in the corner of the room, wearing a white
negligée that seemed to glow in the candlelight.  It was long in the
back, but seemed to come together in front, just below the tops of her
thighs.  The top seemed to be made out of lace, held up by two thin
straps over her shoulders.  

Yes, it was a little staged, and a little contrived; even I could
recognize that.  But it didn't matter.  All the effort that she went
through only served to demonstrate, extremely vividly, just how much
meaning she put on what happened tonight.  

She stood there, uncertainly, shifting her weight from one foot to
another, searching my face for my reaction.  "Do you like it?"  

My face wasn't showing much of anything at that moment, I was too
stunned.  "Yes, Melissa, I love it."  I crossed over to her quickly
and wrapped her up in my arms. Standing there in ratty shorts and a
polo shirt, I felt completely out of place, like a man who arrives at
a cocktail party dressed as a pirate.  I kissed her tenderly, not
quite believing what was going on.

"I wanted it to be special.  Since we don't know when..." she paused
for a second, a brief pang of pain passing over her face, "or if we'll
be together again.  I just wanted it to be special."

"It is special.  Very special.  Any time with you is special, this
just makes it more so."  My heart was in my throat.  It's a stupid
cliché but it fits how I felt.  I was having trouble forcing up the
words.  

After standing there for a moment, we walked together, over to the
bed.  She had been busy.  The mattresses were stacked up on the bed in
what had become our trademark, with the sleeping bags spread out over
top.  As we reached the bed, she stopped and turned to face me.
Without saying anything, she slowly pulled my shirt up over my head
and removed my shorts.  There didn't seem to be any rush to things
tonight.  Everything important would happen in its own time.  After
removing my clothes, she climbed onto the bed, and motioned me to join
her.  Once we quickly settled into the bed, we lay there together
quietly.  We continued to kiss, enjoying simply being together.  

After a few moments passed in this pleasant fashion, Melissa seemed to
make a decision, gently pushing me to roll onto my back.  She reached
down to wrap her fingers around my cock.  Leaning over, she kissed me
one last time, and slowly trailed her lips down my body.  She lay
there, slowly stroking me with her hand, her head resting on my
stomach.

To say that I was shocked would be an understatement.  I was
dumbfounded.  In the last three months, she had shown absolutely no
interest in going down on me.  I had eaten, licked and sucked her
until I was giddy with power, and we had brought each other to
simultaneous orgasms with our hands on any number of occasions, but
she had never come close to performing oral sex on me.  And I hadn't
pushed.  Hell, I had barely given the matter much thought at all.  I
was too busy exploring her body and what I could do with it to worry
about anything that trivial.  It was an understandable mistake, the
kind of mistake someone without a great deal of experience would make.


We stayed like that for quite a while.  Every few minutes she would
make a small abortive move towards the tip of my cock then lay her
head back down on my stomach.  After this happened three times, even I
knew that something wasn't quite right.  

"Melissa, what's wrong," I asked, laying my hand on her shoulder.

"Nothing, baby, nothing."  She answered in a husky voice so quiet I
could barely hear her.  "Nothing," she repeated in a broken voice.

That was enough of that.  I gently pulled her back up to lay next to
me.  When I looked at her, I was stunned to see that she was crying.
"What's wrong?"

She just shook her head and continued crying, not trusting herself to
speak.  

"Melissa, damn it, what's wrong?"  I was starting to get a little
scared.  This didn't seem like simply an overflow of sadness because
we would be leaving each other tomorrow.  "Talk to me, Melissa, honey,
please talk to me."

"I'm sorry, David, I'm so sorry."

"Sorry about what?  Melissa, what's going on?"  Unfortunately, all
this accomplished was to cause her to burst into sobs.  'Well,
asshole,' I thought to myself, 'you're handling this really well.'  I
was at a loss.  I pulled her into my arms, holding her tight.  She
buried her head against my neck, repeating over and over that she was
sorry.  Hell, I still didn't know why she was so sorry.  I did the
best I could.

"It's okay, honey.  Everything's going to be okay.  Shhhh.
Everything's going to be okay."  Yeah, I knew it sounded ridiculous,
and was probably the next best thing to useless.  But it's all I could
come up with on short notice.  I just kept repeating that, and
variations of it, over and over again, drowning out her repeated
apologies. Eventually it actually seemed to do some good.  Her sobbing
quieted, and although I was already soaking wet from all the tears she
had shed, I thought I could feel it start to slow.  I reached down to
put my fingers under her chin and lifted, forcing her head up gently.
Looking her in the eye, I slowly leaned my head forward and kissed her
softly.  

"Melissa, honey, what's wrong?"  I asked again.  

"I tried, David, I really tried.  But I just can't."  The tears had
slowed to a trickle, but she was still sniffling, the crying not
really over, just on hold.

"I don't understand Melissa, what are you talking about?"

She drew in a deep shuddering breath, "I'm talking about going down on
you, about sucking your cock.  I just can't."

"Is that all?" I asked in amazement.  "Melissa, if you don't want to,
there's no reason for you to do it.  It doesn't matter to me!"  I
couldn't believe she was getting so upset over such a small thing.

"No!  You don't understand," she almost shouted.  "I do want to!  I
can't!"

She's right, I didn't, couldn't understand what she meant.  So she
explained it to me.  She used words of one syllable, so I would be
sure to understand.

"I told you that I'd been with two guys, right?  Roger and Tony, the
guy in high school."  She hadn't mentioned his name before, but I
nodded for her to go on.  "That's not quite all the truth.  There was
another guy in between the other two.  He was a friend of a friend.
He was older, about 20 and I was a junior, 17.  He hung around after
school with some people.  He looked, and acted about as cool as you
could get, the whole 'bad boy' cliché, but at that point I was really
impressed by him.  I thought I was in love."  She stopped and I gave
her another gentle kiss.  I could see that this was very difficult for
her.  The tears had started to flow again, although she was keeping
her voice very calm and controlled; I knew what it was costing her.  

"Just take your time," I said quietly.  "We have all night."

She smiled a sad smile.  "Our last night, you mean."  Taking another
deep breath she continued, "Anyway, one day, right out of the blue, he
asked me if I wanted to go to a party on Friday night.  He called it
the 'ultimate blow-out', and I thought he should know.  I said yes,
and thought about it the whole week.  He had completely overwhelmed
me.  He was handsome and older than I, everything that I thought I
wanted a guy to be.  On Friday, he picked me up and we went to the
party.  We hung out for a while, just having fun.  There was beer, but
I wasn't paying much attention, since I knew I had to go home
afterwards.  He didn't.  Anyway, after a couple of hours, we left, and
on the way, he asked if I wanted to stop and park for a while.  I
thought we were just going to, you know, make out and have a little
fun.  But after we had done that for a while, he told me he wanted
something else..."

"I think I get the picture."  My stomach had started doing flip-flops
halfway into her story.  By this point, I was worked into such a rage
that I had trouble seeing clearly.  It wasn't a new story, even to me.
It had happened to a friend of mine earlier that year, although I
don't think it went quite as far with her.  That time, I had been able
to do something about it.  This time, I could only sit and grow
angrier and angrier.  

I let out a long slow breath, trying to keep control of myself.  I
didn't think a personal demonstration of my temper would help things.
I got a grip on myself and looked at her again.  

"Melissa," I began, "you have absolutely nothing to be sorry about.
Nothing at all."  I paused, trying to think of something, anything to
say.  "Why do you think you should feel sorry?"

"Because I can't.  And I want to.  I want it so bad it hurts.  I love
you so much and I..." She trailed off, her eyes growing wide as she
realized what she had said.  Looking scared, she continued on in a
rush, "I'm sorry.  I didn't mean that.  I remember what we said."  She
looked embarrassed, as if she had let a state secret slip.

"Melissa," I tried to interrupt.

"I mean, neither of us need this.  It's not right.  I didn't mean it,
Dave."  She wasn't paying any attention to what I was trying to say.
She couldn't even look at me directly.  

"Melissa," I said, a little louder than necessary perhaps, but it got
her attention.  She turned her head back to face me, looking worried
about what I was going to say next.  "Melissa, I love you too."

Whatever she was expecting, that wasn't it.  The tears that had almost
stopped flowing started up yet again.  But there was a difference this
time.  Her face split into a smile and she flung her arms around me,
squeezing me tight.  It was ridiculous.  We both knew that a
relationship would be impossible.  My parents probably wouldn't have a
large problem with it, but through our talks, I knew hers would throw
a fit.  But more importantly, I didn't think either one of us were
ready for one.  Not at that point.  A long distance relationship is
possible, at least in theory, particularly if they are both seniors;
but not when one of us is in college and the other in high school.
That was pretty much impossible.  And we both knew it.  We talked
about those things and more as we lay there, resting together.  We
concluded that while there was no doubt we loved each other, we
weren't in love or at least, not that much.  

As we talked, our caresses became less abstracted and more intimate,
and our kisses grew steadily more passionate.  Before long, the
worries about the future fell away and the only thing concerning us
was the present.  Her negligee was slowly removed by common consent,
and soon our hands were ranging over each other's bodies.

After one particularly good kiss, she asked, "Ready?"

It was my turn to give her the 'Look' I'd been receiving for most of
the last three months.  The look that said, "You IDIOT, of COURSE!"
I'd been waiting quite some time for that to happen, and I took great
satisfaction in it.  I'd honed that look for weeks, hoping against
hope that I'd be able to use it, and finally I was.  

She laughed a little sheepishly, recognizing it immediately for what
it was.  "Payback's a bitch," I whispered into her ear.  "Where are
the rubbers?"

She just shook her head, threw her leg over mine and with a shift of
her hips, I was inside of her.  I gasped in shock, not only at the
feeling, but also at her decision.  I knew she was on the pill.  I had
seen her 'Dial-a-Candy' dispenser often enough, but that had never
been the sole reason for using a condom.  

Then I remembered one of the late night, fireside chats we had.  Being
a virgin, I hadn't had the opportunity to pick up any of the
embarrassing social conditions about which one normally worries.  And
as for AIDS, I had gone through a stomach operation some years before,
one that required a small transfusion.  As a result, first at my
parents insistence, and then mine, every physical included a blood
test, just in case.  Melissa's physicals included one as well.  I
relaxed.  It was as safe as it would ever be, and there was no sense
worrying about it.

That left me only one thing to worry about, whether or not I was going
to reach orgasm in the next 60 seconds.  Fortunately, she realized
what a change it would be, and we simply lay there, not moving, giving
me a few moments to adjust to it.  There was a mischievous little
twinkle in her eye, and just as she started to move, she leaned
forward and whispered, "Surprise."  

She had no idea.  The absence of that thin barrier changed everything.
It was incredible.  We slowly started to move together, our bodies
sliding back and forth in counterpoint to each other.  With an effort,
she lifted herself and slid over top of me so that she was perched
above me, lowering herself down over top of me.  Our eyes were locked
to each other.  What was happening to our bodies had become secondary.
It was still there, of course; the feeling of surging deep into her
could hardly be ignored.  But it wasn't as important as what was going
on between us.  We built up slowly, trying to make the night last as
long as possible.  During the summer there had been several Saturday
nights that consisted of nothing but trying to bring each other off
again and again and again.  This, in turn, had caused some very sore
Sunday mornings.  We both knew, however, that this night was
different.  It wasn't a night to keep score, the number of orgasms
were completely irrelevant

We exchanged positions several times, staying in one for a few moments
then easily shifting back.  This was our goodbye.  Tomorrow morning,
we would cry and hug, but this night, this endless moment would be
where the hurting started, and the healing began.  

Chapter 8

Opening my eyes, I found myself sitting in my car, perched on top of
hill.  The memories had seemed so real, so immediate that it took me a
moment to realize where I was.  

"Shit," I said with some disgust.  This wasn't solving anything.  The
dashboard clock told me I'd been sitting here for over an hour, lost
in the mists of the not too distant past.  If anything, I was even
more confused now.  In the last 9 months, I'd been able to, then at
least contain the feelings that had I had developed for Melissa.  But
they had been contained, not conquered.  And the confusion I felt over
what happened tonight was simply added to the turmoil.  

Melissa and I had parted on that Sunday morning with fewer tears than
I had expected.  There were some, of course, for both of us.  We had
promised to call and write, and unlike most of those promises made at
camp, we had actually kept them.  In fact, she had returned with Linda
for Thanksgiving last November.  I had a sneaking suspicion that
Melissa had not only taken Linda into her confidence but also enlisted
her aid at some point.  We were able to find entirely too many
opportunities to spend time together for it to be a coincidence.
Melissa simply gave a mysterious little smile and changed the subject
whenever I asked.

We had talked about being counselors again this summer, but that idea
had died a fairly early death a few months ago.  She had a chance to
work with one of the doctoral candidates on her dissertation, and
although it would be a great opportunity for her, it would also mean
that she would have to work through the summer.  So much for camp.
And I wasn't so in love with the place that I wanted to work there
without her.  

I had planned to spend the summer as a bum.  I had plenty of cash
saved up, enough for both the summer of indulgence and for 'beer
money' at school.  The fact that I couldn't choke down a beer if my
life depended on it was immaterial.  It was the principle of the
thing.  And besides, calling it 'tequila money' didn't have the same
ring to it.  After three months of R&R came the joys of higher
education.  I had already received my acceptance letter from Penn
State.  And a combination of my SAT scores and my stated desire to
take Japanese to satisfy my foreign language requirement had been
sufficient to make me one of the few freshmen at College Park.  Lucky
me.  Lucky hell.  I sat up more than a few nights trying to figure out
the best way to ensure that I would be able to attend the main campus
as a freshman, the administration was notoriously reluctant to allow
them on campus.  Fortunately, this had done it.  The next year was to
be the time where Melissa and I discovered whether or not we could
actually work as a couple, day in and day out.  At least, that had
been the plan until tonight.

Chapter 9

I hadn't even planned on going to the party, although it had been
widely circulated in school over the past couple of days.  It was
basically a "come as you will party" with everyone reputed to be
invited.  A couple of my 'buddies' had dragged me there, threatening
prolonged physical violence if I didn't, and I quote "get up off my
fat ass and enjoy the last moments of the best days of my life."
Considering the fact that Jerry was 5' 4" tall and weighed 120 pounds
immediately following a full meal and being dunked with all his
clothes on, I wasn't terribly worried about his threats of bodily
harm.  Allen just stood there and giggled.  He wasn't a great deal of
help, to either of us.

The three of us held a somewhat unique position in the school.  We
fell so far outside everyone's expectations that we could move
relatively freely throughout the stratified levels of high school
society.  We weren't exactly accepted, but it did give us the
opportunity to interact with just about everyone, as long as we
remembered the unwritten rules.  By and large, we didn't have any
interest in overstepping the bounds in any case, so it wasn't terribly
restrictive.  We could be out back smoking a joint with the burnouts
one moment, then get asked to help cram with one of the preps the
next, or anything in between.  It was a comfortable little arrangement
that allowed us to do what we felt like, without the low-level
terrorism with which most of the population was force to undergo.
Even taking our strange social position into account, the idea of
spending an evening crammed into a house with a couple of hundred
drunken teenagers didn't exactly fill me with anticipation.

There was a grain of truth to what he said though.  I hadn't been much
of a social animal during the 4 years of high school.  The student
body was pretty well divided into two distinct groups: those few that
I actually hung out with after the school day ended, and, with two
notable exceptions, everyone else.  The group I spent most of my time
with could be termed the "Brilliant Underachievers".  Jerry and Allen
and myself made up the core trio, although there were a few others
that floated in and out.  High school bored us to tears.  We knew we
were smarter than most of the teachers.  Unfortunately, we had a nasty
habit of acting that way as well.  We did the minimum, mostly.
Whatever it took to keep them off our backs.  I don't think any of us
had a G.P.A. higher than a 2.5 or so, but when we got together to
compare notes when our SAT scores came in, we found out that we had
all scored over 1500.  We simply weren't interested in what the high
school teachers had to say.  

Unlike the other two, I didn't have a single interest that absorbed
all my waking moments.  I was a lazy man's jack of all trades.  I
could kibitz with Jerry about computers, although when he started
thinking in binary he left me far behind.  I could also stay with
Allen long enough to get the general gist of whatever chemistry
hobbyhorse he was riding at that particular moment.  However, I did
have a nice little sideline of my own in those days.  In any school,
there are always those who would rather have the grade than the
knowledge.  For those poor souls, I had a 'Writing on Demand' service.
Given a week's lead-time, I could produce a paper on whatever topic
they wished.  All the service, for a nominal fee, of course.  I
actually enjoyed it, for the most part.  It gave me the excuse to
spend most of my time reading or doing research, and put enough cash
in my pocket that my simple needs were met without having to resort to
anything as distasteful as getting a 'real job'.  By the time senior
year rolled around, I could bang out a 5 page paper on almost any
topic inside of two hours, and charge between $25 and $30 for my
effort.  Term papers, depending on how long and involved could garner
up to $100.  It wasn't too strenuous.  First come, first served, and I
kept the amount of traffic in any one class limited so the teacher
wouldn't be able to pin down a definite writing style.  

I had allowed myself to be convinced the party wouldn't be a complete
disaster.  My parents watched with tolerant amusement.  It would have
been so much easier to have their disapproval as an excuse.  There are
times they truly disappoint me.  Jerry had worked himself apoplectic,
trying to convince me that this was going to be the 'ultimate, can't
miss, gotta be there' party of the year, while at the same time trying
to couch his rhetoric so as not to let the old people know just how
wild the party was supposed to be.  He needn't have bothered.  My
parents aren't stupid, it's just the sleepy look that fools people.
They knew exactly what the party was supposed to be like, but since
they have an unnerving level of trust in me, they were comfortable in
letting me go, simply warning me about the 'house rules'.  Considering
the fact that the only 'house rule' that applied here was not drinking
and driving, it wasn't a big deal.  Even if the fear of winding up a
mangled mass of flesh, dead in a ditch somewhere wasn't enough to give
me pause, the threatened punishment from my parents certainly was.  I
don't know about the average teenage male, but I think my testicles
look much better on my body than they would hanging from the fireplace
mantle, a shiny electroplating of bronze making them glisten gently in
the light of the fire.  That settled, we were off with great fanfare.


Jerry and Allen both wanted to do some drinking when we got there, so
I 'volunteered' to drive.  Since today had been the last day of class,
there weren't any worries about getting up for school the next
morning, even though it was Thursday night.  They lived on the other
side of town, but within 25 minutes, we eventually ended up in the
midst of one of the end-of-year blowouts for which high school
students are justifiably infamous.  There were probably 100 people
packed into Jeff Whitmore's house.  The poor bastard had made the
mistake of mentioning that his parents were out of town for the
weekend, a mistake I had noticed, and made sure not to repeat.  That
had been enough to make him instantly the most popular guy in the
school.  It's not as though he actually needed the help.  He ran with
the prep clique, probably the second most influential group, at least
for the male half of the student body, in school.

I knew before I was there more than 10 minutes, it wasn't my idea of a
fun night. There were far too many people who had had far too much to
drink and were far too intent on acting like the inebriated idiots
they were.  The kitchen was crowded with jocks, completely absorbed in
some sort of titanic drinking contest.  The table seemed to be
reserved for the "nobility" of jock society, those four or five guys
who were on the Varsity squad for two or three different sports.  Most
of them didn't have anything interesting to say when they were sober,
and I highly doubted that 12 or 15 beers would have a salutary effect
on their conversational skills.  Since there was little in the kitchen
to keep my interest, I continued on the tour.  I figured on doing a
circuit of the house, just to see if there was anyone worth talking to
who wasn't dead drunk already.  It was obvious that the party had been
underway for quite some time.  Hell, for all I knew, some of the
revelers may have come here as soon as classes let out that afternoon.
From the bloodshot eyes of some of the guys in the kitchen, it
wouldn't have surprised me in the least.  Today had been the last day
of classes for seniors, and this was the opening salvo of a very long
weekend of partying.  Most people had done what they could to clear
their schedules completely for the weekend, calling out of work in
order to take full and complete advantage.

The dining room held more of the same.  Only the participants and the
quantity of beer were different.  In here, the preps were holding
court and there were at least as many girls as guys sitting around,
waiting for the quarter to be passed to them.  I nodded to a few of
the people I knew, and received bleary greetings from them in turn.  I
could exactly call them friends, but perhaps friendly acquaintances
would cover it.  I was on friendly terms with enough people that I
could move around the edges of most of the cliques in the school
without too many difficulties.  They never mistook me as a member of
their groups, but I did receive a sort of benign indifference.  I
didn't linger in the dining room for very long, quarters not exactly
being a riveting spectator sport.  The living room had become neutral
territory, gathering a strange combination of serious drinkers who
wanted the combination of comfortable furniture and the proximity to
the keg, which was parked in the corner and covered in rapidly melting
bags of ice.  There was also a random sampling of members of the other
readily identifiable cliques, the "music" group, and the "theater"
group who had gathered in the front room in order that all new
arrivals see that they had been there first.  For some reason, the
rest of the people appeared to be an assortment of hangers on who
liked to think they were part of the various cliques, as well as
people who were only invited in the spirit of the end of school
celebration.

There was nothing of consequence happening in the living room.  The
upstairs, if I could read anything into the way people were moving up
and down the stairs was limited to trips to the bathroom and couples
trying out the bed.  As I passed the front stairs, I glanced up the
stairs and smiled to myself.  Apparently, Jeff was smarter than he
looked.  He had dragooned someone to stand at the top of the stairs,
acting as a traffic cop cum bouncer.  He was making sure the people
who need the bathroom actually used the bathroom, and those who were
looking for the bedrooms actually found them.  Two points for thinking
ahead.  There were lots of wonderful opportunities for embarrassing
situations implicit in the arrangement and I was actually impressed
that Jeff, or someone had enough sense to try and limit them.  

The stairs to the basement were back in the kitchen, and it took me at
least five minutes to work my way back the way I had come, through the
living and dining room.  I headed down the stairs after pushing
through the jocks in the kitchen.  I knew, from overhearing the
conversation as I wandered around the house that the lower level had
been finished into at least a family room and office for Jeff's mom,
who apparently worked at home.   I hadn't seen Jerry or Allen since we
split up on arriving.  It didn't really matter, on the way over, they
had both said they would probably end up crashing in some corner until
morning.  They'd be able to mooch a ride off someone in the morning.
I had driven the three of us over, so there was no problem with me
picking up a ride, and I was planning on cutting out pretty quickly in
any case.  

The family room was packed.  Someone had found an old porn tape and
thrown it in the VCR.  Fortunately, the sound was left down to a
manageable level, although it blended into the blasting stereo from
upstairs and made conversation well nigh impossible.  Although
conversation seemed to be the last thing on everyone's mind.  Most of
the people were kissing cousins to the ones upstairs in the living
room.  Kids who had received invitations through the spirit of
generosity or who had simply crashed the party, counting on not being
tossed out.  There were a few others, but the majority were what was
quaintly termed "geeks and dorks" by the ruling class, i.e. normal
people.  The few girls that were scattered about were dividing their
attention between what was going on up on the screen, and trying to
fend off the advances of hordes of drunken teenager males.  In the
corner I noticed Sean McKee, standing and glancing around the room.  I
gave him the "high" sign and caught his eye.  He grinned and waved me
over.  If there was such a thing as a Big Man on Campus in the
mid-80's, Sean was it, he was also one of the 'two notable exceptions'
I mentioned earlier

Seamus Michael McKee.  That's his full name, and as Black Irish as
they come.

Our families had moved into town less than a week apart the summer
before first grade, ending up as neighbors across a small alley from
each other.  Since it was the summer, we were a little lost when it
came to finding playmates.  Had we moved in during the school year,
the enforced introductions would have obviated the need for that first
fearful "Hi, my name's Sean."  We spent elementary school as
neighbors, spending as much time in each other's house as we did in
our own.  Neither of us had any siblings and we ended up as close as
any brothers.  I moved outside of town in Junior High, but we managed
to remain very good friends.  We didn't talk as often as we had in the
old days, but there was still an unshakable bond there.

He was the starting halfback and linebacker on the football team, he
batted clean-up and played first base on the baseball team and was the
point guard on the basketball team.  If we had a swimming pool, I'm
fairly certain he would have excelled there as well.  He was also the
odds-on favorite for valedictorian.  He had been the Homecoming King,
almost unanimously, and was generally regarded as the most popular
person in the school.  All in all, he was a walking propaganda poster
for the Red Blooded American Boy Next Door, Leader of Tomorrow
stereotype we've all seen portrayed but rarely if ever see in real
life.  He was so damned impressive that in my weaker moments, he made
my teeth hurt.  Fortunately, I was used to him. 

He was big.  At least 6'4" and weighing exactly 200 pounds.  He always
weighed exactly 200 pounds.  Always in perfect physical shape, he
probably didn't have more than 10% body fat. Although Sean and I were
as close as brothers, there was little 'family' resemblance.  He was
three inches taller than I was, even when I remembered to stand up
straight.  And where his 200 pounds was all muscle, my 225 pounds was
built much lower to the ground and covered with a layer of padding.
He was the bodybuilder, while I was the power lifter.  A luxurious
crop of dark black hair topped his head, while I knew, simply by
looking at my family line, the dirty blond hair I had wouldn't stay
with me for much longer.  His eyes were bright and green.  Mine were
gray and a little spooky.  I think it was our noses that distinguished
us far more than any other feature, however.  His was straight and
proud.  Mine, on the other hand, had a curious bump right at the
bridge and a distinct, albeit slight, bend to the right.  I believe
that Sean looked upon that nose as his first, and possibly finest work
of art.

Like all adolescent boys, we were occasionally given to brief but
violent disagreements.  And, on one particular day in the summer of
our 10th year, Sean had the audacity to play Godzilla to my carefully
constructed city of Matchbox cars.  Naturally I was appalled and went
up to do battle upon the evil invader.  Unfortunately, if you watch
all of those old monster movies, Godzilla had a nasty habit of beating
the hell out of whichever forces offered up resistance to his brutal
attack.  And so it was with this all to brief battle.  One swift swing
and I was lying on my ass, with blood gushing from my nose.  I truly
think that Sean was even more surprised than I was.  He stood there,
with his mouth open in astonishment.  This of course, gave me the
opportunity I needed.  I slowly clambered to my feet, and quite
deliberately booted him between the legs as hard as I could.  Once my
nose had been set, and his swelling had gone down, our parents forced
us back together to apologize to each other.  Although now that I
think back upon it, there seemed to be some snickering going on behind
their stern faces.  Within two weeks, we were back destroying Tokyo
together.  We'd been best friends throughout school.  We weren't
'buddies' anymore, since he had his own social groups and obligations,
as did I.  But it didn't matter.  We may not hang out together much
anymore, but we were still best friends.

Sean was everything everyone thought he was.  And more.  You see, Sean
was, as far as I knew for certain, the only gay student in the entire
school. Or, as he liked to phrase it in his unguarded moments "Queer
as a three dollar bill."  And I was the only one in school who knew.
He showed up one-day last fall with a strange, stressed look on his
face.  Over the next couple of hours, he eventually told me the story.
He had just broken up with his first serious lover, a freshman from
the nearby college.  Apparently, his ex was going through a bout of
latent heterosexuality.  He was pretty broken up about it, and needed
to talk with someone.  And I had been elected.  I asked him why, even
though I knew the reason before I asked.

"You're the only person who I knew wouldn't freak out."

That was true.  My dad's sister had come out of the closet a year
before and on one of her infrequent visits, he had been able to talk
to her.  I think talking to someone else helped him overcome the
feeling that he really wasn't the only one in the world. 

The news had been surprising but not exactly a shock.  I can't say
why, other than knowing that he was gay didn't make much of a
difference to me.  He was still the same guy that I had grown up with;
the only difference that I could see was that we probably wouldn't be
going out to a strip club on my 21 birthday.  No big loss. 

After that first discussion last summer, we'd been almost as close as
we were when we were young.

"This your idea, or Jeff's?"  I asked over the background noise as I
walked up.  It was obvious he was acting as the protector/guardian
down here.  A logical choice.  He could pick up and snap virtually
anyone in the audience in two without breaking a sweat.  He didn't
drink, so the ongoing battle of the livers upstairs wouldn't interest
him in the least.  

"Mine, and his," he replied.  "I wandered down about an hour ago,
right after the first video went on.  I let Jeff know what was going
on, and he asked if I could sort of keep an eye on things down here.
He's going to send someone down to give me a break eventually."  He
laughed and continued, "He even gave me the remote, so I could 're-run
any of the parts I really liked.'"  He rolled his eyes in conclusion.


"Oh, you poor thing," I laughed.  I turned to take in the screen for a
moment, and was immediately glad I hadn't been paying attention in the
first place.  Filled with women in their thirties desperately trying
to like teenagers and skinny guys wearing black socks and outlandish
sideburns, you could tell in seconds that it wasn't one of the more
flattering examples of adult movies. 

"Any news?" I asked.  

"Yeah, actually," he replied.  He was trying to be clever.  I hated
that.  He had applied to over a dozen schools from Penn State to
Harvard.  Although he was a shoe-in for almost any school he choose,
he was waiting for the final word on financial aid before making his
decision.  Unlike my parents, his were in no position to pay for 4
years of college out of pocket, and he didn't want to take an athletic
scholarship as anything but a last resort.  Although he looked like
the quintessential jock, sports had always been a tool to get where he
wanted to go; they were a means to and end, not an end in and of
themselves.  

In the end, the choices had come down to Oberlin College, and Penn
State.  As of the day before, Penn State was in the lead, since they
had come across with an athletic and an academic scholarship, which
when combined would put him through school.  Oberlin, which was his
preferred choice, had proven reluctant to offer more than a partial
academic scholarship.  They had offered to close the gap with low
interest student loans, but Sean was loath to take on debt when he had
an alternative close at hand.

He just sat there looking smug, until I broke down and asked, "OK,
fine, what is the news?"  I really hated it when he started playing
these games.  I think he did it just to annoy me.  I know I did the
same thing to him.  He knew exactly why I was so damned curious.  He
might end up going to Penn State with me, and while we wouldn't
exactly be roomies, it would still be nice having a friend like him
around.  

He finally relented.  "Oberlin came through," he said.  His face lit
in a huge smile.  "It means an on campus job, but, shit, that's not
going to be a big deal." 

I was happy for him, and told him so.  I was also just a little
disappointed, which I didn't mention.  "Anything interesting going on
around here?  I've only been here a half hour and it's already getting
old."

"Not really.  If I hadn't already told Jeff I'd stick around to help
make sure everything stays under control, I'd probably bail."  He
paused and seemed to wrestle with something.  "Karen's floating around
somewhere," he said neutrally.  

"Oh shit."  It wasn't bad news, but it wasn't exactly welcome news
either.  Karen Russell was the one person in the school who could
probably have gotten me to engage in all those "useless tribal
rituals".  She was the perfect complement to Sean.  She was just as
good looking as he was, had been voted Homecoming Queen by
proclamation, and was one of the two or three other students who
actually had a chance to beat Sean out for valedictorian.  If life had
been a bedtime story, they would have fallen in love in Junior High
and married right out of college and gone on to live happily ever
after.  So much for happily ever after.  Had I been less of an
egotistical son of a bitch, between the two of them, I would have
ended up working up a nice inferiority complex.  

Karen was the 'someone else' that Melissa had asked about.  But, I
could recognize the way she felt about me.  And I had been able to
bury my feelings for her almost completely.  Certainly better than I
had contained my feelings for Melissa, but then again, I didn't have
to see Melissa every single day, and know that she was out of reach.

For most of high school, Sean, Karen and I had been mixed up in some
sort of twisted triangle.  It went something like: boy one likes girl,
girl likes boy two, boy two isn't interested in girl, girl goes and
cries on boy one's shoulder calling him "a great friend", which sends
boy one into convulsions of frustration.  I think what caused the
biggest problem wasn't the fact that Sean wasn't interested, but that
Karen had no idea why he wasn't.  If he had explained why, she
probably could have handled it, or at least that was my opinion.  I
had mentioned it to Sean, and he agreed, at least in theory.  But then
again, it wasn't my ass hanging in the breeze if she decided to
confound both of us and get vindictive. 

"You know she applied to Oberlin too, don't you?"  I said.  This could
be a tremendous complication.  

"Yup, as well as Penn State, Princeton and UCLA.  And as far as I've
heard, she was accepted at all of them."  

"Shit, shit, shit."  I was running out of intelligent things to say.
"You're going to have to tell her.  Or something ugly is going to
happen when you get there."

"I can't!  You know what would happen if she went ballistic."

"I know.  I know.  Shit."  It was rapidly becoming a staple of my
vocabulary.  "But she has to know what's going on.  If she hasn't
already started the paperwork, she's got a chance to decide on
somewhere else to go.  If she gets there, and finds out do you think
she's going to react any better?

"Oberlin's deadline is in less than a week.  She's got a right to know
what the hell is going on!"

Sean closed his eyes and thought about it.  I could see him wrestle
with the decision.  It wasn't exactly fair to brace him about it in
these circumstances, but Karen deserved the chance to avoid the
situation if at all possible.  If she found out that Sean was gay by
watching him walk across the quad holding hands with another guy, I
doubted it would enhance the rest of her academic year.  

"I'll tell you what, Sean.  I'll tell her.  That way, if she does go
ballistic, I can tell her that I made the story up, just to get into
bed with her."  That made me stick to my stomach, but I was ready to
do it.

"What?  No fucking way.  She'd hate you."  Sean was the only person
I'd ever talked to about her.  Considering the situation, it was only
fair.  Why should I be the only one who choked on the delicious irony?

"Better me than you, Chief."  I tried to grin, but it didn't exactly
work.  

"Why?"

"Think about it, Sean.  You're parents aren't exactly ready to learn
about this are they?  How do you think it would go over if someone
called them in the middle of the night and told them 'anonymously'?
Look, she'd be pissed at me, but she'd get over it.  Eventually.  And
anyway, I don't even think we'll have to worry about it."  Boy, I
could talk a good game, but the prospect of actually lying to her
about this, even to protect Sean, had me weak in the knees.  I can lie
with the best of them, truly.  But not about this.  It would be a
helluva feat to pull off.

"You're nuts, you know that, don't you?"

"Yeah, but let's see them try and prove it in court," I grinned as I
replied.  "OK.  I'm going to try and find her in this mess.  Do you
have any clue where she is?"  It wasn't going to be fun weaving
through the crush of people trying to find Karen.

He gave me a grim look and jerked his head towards the front of the
room.  I turned to look and noticed for the first time that the room
had a sliding glass door that looked to lead out onto some sort of
patio.  I could make out some people sitting out there, but it was too
dark to get a count or tell who they were. 

"She went out there about 15 minutes ago, right before you came down,"
he said.  

"All right...  I'll go see what I can do."  Since giving him a hug
probably wouldn't have gone over well in front of the drunken horde,
we grasped hands before I headed towards what felt like my impending
doom.

Chapter 10

I carefully threaded my way through the crowded room, stepping around
and over the people who had filled up the floor when the couches ran
out of room.  No one really paid much attention to me, their attention
was locked on the pumping bodies up on the screen.  I was used to it.
For all my physical bulk, I didn't stand out the way Sean did.  And
I'd been playing the fringes of high school society for so long that
it was normal.  

I finally made it to the door and slid the door open.  Cool clear air,
devoid of the smoke and smell of spilled beer and too many people
spilled in as I hurried through the doorway. It was a beautiful
evening in early June, with a sliver of the moon burning brightly just
above the horizon in the clear sky.  That made me feel a little better
at least.  It was what Chinese Mythology called the Dragon Moon, and
it had always seemed to be lucky for me.  Or at least, nothing
horrendous had ever happened on a night of the Dragon Moon.  But then
again, there's a first time for everything.  

I stepped aside from the door and waited for my eyes to adjust to the
relative darkness.  Someone had lit a few candles and spread them
around the patio.  They had the funny citrus smell of citronella,
something to help keep the bugs away.  Four or five people were
grouped around one of the larger tables, passing around a pipe, which
probably helped keep the bugs away as well.  From the red glow I
recognized Jimmy Spence.  After glancing up and catching my eye he
waved me over, I shook my head and kept looking.   I was tempted, but
getting through this was going to be tough enough, and being stoned
wasn't going to add to the experience.  If it blew up in my face,
however, I resolved to go back and inhale until I passed out form
anoxia.  

It was much quieter out on the patio.  I could still hear the party,
of course, but it was a much lower, more muted sound.  I could feel
the vibrations more than actually hearing it.  I looked around and
made out the shape of a couple of people passed out in the chaise
lounges.  Smiling to myself, I thought they were going to be in for a
chilly night if no one thought to wake them.  Oh well, they'd survive.


I finally saw her sitting on the very edge of the patio.  She had
dragged one of the wrought iron chairs away from the nearest table and
sat on it, staring out into the night.  I walked up behind her and
crouched down.  "Want some company?" I asked cautiously.  

"Sure," she said turning and smiling up at me.  "Grab a chair."  She
motioned over to the table where she had gotten hers.  

When I looked at her face, I knew this was going to be even more
difficult than I had thought.  She was so beautiful sitting there.
The bright slice of the moon cast enough of its special light to make
her light skin almost glow and the warm flickering glow of the candles
were caught in blond highlights in her hair.  There are times that
being a 'good friend' really sucks canal water.  Love Canal Water, to
be precise.  But I knew what I had to do.  Or at least I thought I
knew.  I heaved myself to my feet, walked back to the table and
returned with another chair.  

"Did you talk to Sean?"  I hadn't even gotten into my seat before she
asked.

"Yeah, he told me the news," I answered guardedly.  "I think he's
going to take the offer.  He doesn't really have much desire to play
football if he doesn't have to."

"Well, you should know."  She laughed mirthlessly, "So, weren't the
two of you going to be going to school, together?"  She asked with a
narrowing of her eyes.

There was something seriously wrong here.  "We were thinking about it.
What about you, have you decided where you're going?"  I felt like I
was dancing in a minefield. It wasn't something that I was used to
doing.  Karen and I had always been able to say almost anything to
each other, and now something had changed.  I was not happy.  

"Well," she snapped, "I thought I knew where I wanted to go.  But now
I'm not so sure."  She jerked her head around and glared at me, and
there was pain in her eyes.  

"What's wro-"

"You know, I always thought of myself as a pretty good judge of
people.  Even back then, I always thought we could tell each other
everything."  Uh-oh.  This was bad; this was very, very bad.  "I
couldn't figure it out for the longest time.  It never made any sense.
Until tonight.  Tonight when I came downstairs to see Sean, there was
something wrong.  Everyone else in the room was at least interested in
what was on the screen."

"Oh shit."  It just slipped out, because I had finally figured out
what was going on.  Or so I thought.

"That's right.  Even if they weren't staring at the screen, they'd
still look to see what was going on.  Everyone except Sean.  And then
it all started to fit together.  Why he's never been interested in me.
I've been after him since junior high."  My eyes widened in surprise
at this revelation.  "No, I didn't tell you.  It's only lately that I
stopped being... subtle.  And never once did he show even the
slightest interest.  At first I thought he wanted to date one of the
older kids instead of someone his age, back when we were freshmen.  I
thought that for a long time.  Then I thought it was me... that there
was something wrong with me.  Over the last couple of months I'd
finally managed to realize that it wasn't going to happen.  But it
didn't make any sense!

"And now I finally realized what was going on."  She paused and then
went on in a rush, "It was killing me, and you knew it!  You could
have told me, you bastard!  But you decided to let me make an ass of
myself for your amusement."  At some point, she had started to cry.
Her voice was still steady, but there were tears running down her
cheeks.  "I hate you for that," she trailed off, starting to sob.

"Karen, don't you think I wanted to tell you?  But I couldn't.  I
spent hours trying to convince him to tell you himself.  He was too
scared of what might happen.  Can you imagine what this place would be
like if people found out?  Hell, the only other people that know are
my parents."

"You told your parents, but you couldn't tell me, even when you knew
what it was doing to me?" she raged quietly.  "You evil bastard.  I
hate you!  I hate you!"  She turned in her chair and started swinging
at me as she kept repeating it over and over and over.  She was a
helluva lot stronger than her thin frame would lead you to believe,
and some of those punches hurt.  I grabbed her wrists and held them
tight.  She stopped struggling after a moment and sat back sobbing.  I
looked around to see if anyone had noticed what had gone on.  The
other people were at least 30 feet away, and were far to involved in
packing the bowl and passing the smoke to have realized what was going
on.  

"You can let me go now," she said quietly between the sobs.  I
released her and sat back to try and collect my thoughts and figure
out what to do next.

"And, for your information, Karen, I didn't tell my parents.  Sean
did.  He asked me if they would be able to handle it, and I told him
that they would.  It was his decision, not mine."  I felt like shit.
Karen was hurting, badly.  And I was the one, who caused it.  She
didn't seem to blame Sean for being gay, which was a relief.  But she
did blame me for not trusting her enough to tell her.  Which hurt.

"Whatever."  That wasn't terribly encouraging.  "Whatever.  I just
hope the two of you will be happy together," she said with her eyes
burning.

"Hey, it's not like we don't know each oth..er."  I trailed off.  And
it finally hit me.  OK, so I'm not particularly fast on the uptake.
Particularly when it came to interacting with other people.  I may
have been the most socially graceful of the "Weirdo Geniuses" running
around the school, but hell that doesn't really mean much, does it?
In the Kingdom of the Blind, the one-eyed man is King.  When I finally
realized what she was saying, and thinking I sat back in complete
astonishment.  And then I did something I probably shouldn't have
done.  I laughed.  I tend to do that at the most inopportune times.

I couldn't help myself.  Maybe I should have been insulted, she
obviously thought I was gay too.  She watched me go through this in
total confusion.  My reaction was so unexpected that even the tears
stopped.  At least for her.  I was laughing so hard that I started to
cry.  My outburst only lasted a few minutes.  "You thought I was..." I
said gasping.  "That Sean and I..." I caught my breath and finally
regained my senses.  Fortunately I had been smart enough to keep the
gales of laughter somewhat muted.  "I hate to burst your balloon, but
Sean is gay, not me.  He's my friend, not my lover."  As I ran through
it, I thought about how Sean was going to react when he heard the
news.  That would be a good one.

"But I thought...  I mean, I just assumed," Karen mumbled.  She bent
her head down and it seemed as though she was starting on another
round of sobs.  After only a few seconds, however, I realized that she
was laughing almost as hard as I had been.  "I'm sorry, but it made
sense.  It was the only thing I could think of that made sense.  You
never date, I've never seen you with a girl and you even turned down
Kristine when she asked you to go to the prom!  I just thought..." She
trailed off in another burst of relieved giggles.

"That's why I couldn't tell you!  If we were lovers, then I could have
told you, because it would have been my secret as well.  But I didn't
have the right to tell his secret, no matter that I thought you
deserved to know!  He didn't want to tell me in the first place, and
I'm his best friend."  

"You're not gay?" she giggled under her breath.

"Surprise," I said quietly.  "You know, this is why I came out looking
for you tonight.  I talked to Sean and finally convinced him that you
needed to know...  And look what happened."  I let loose a big sigh,
"I finally convinced him, and you had already figured it out."

"What made him change his mind?"

"I was worried about you.  I knew you had applied to some, if not all,
of the same schools he did.  How would you like to find out about him
because you saw him walking through the quad, hand in hand with his
new lover?"

"Ouch."  She winced at the idea.

"Exactly.  At least tonight, you had someone to beat on," I said with
a rueful grin. 

"I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed.   "I was just so mad..."

I caught her hand in mine and gave it a quick squeeze.  "It's all
right.  I don't blame you, I think I had it coming for a while.  I
should have convinced him to tell you long before tonight.  And if
that failed, I should have beat the hell out of him until he agreed,"
I said with a smirk.  

I took a deep breath.  "So, do you still hate me?"  

"No!  Of course not.  I was just so mad.  Now that I know I was right
about Sean, it's actually not that big a deal."  I let loose an
explosive breath of relief.  "You were really worried about that?" she
asked in some surprise. 

"No," I answered quickly.  "Not really.  I knew you'd handle it, but
still.  There's a lot of damage you could do if you decided to become
vindictive.  He's not ready to come out of the closet yet.  Not here,
at least."

"Finding out he's gay isn't that big a deal.  It didn't actually hurt
that much and at least now I know that it wasn't me!"  She smiled
briefly.  "That wasn't why I was so upset."  She paused, and it looked
like she was searching for words.  "I actually realized that he was
gay, and then my mind went through and filled in the details, they
were the wrong ones, but they seemed to explain so much.  And that's
when things started to go to pieces."  Her eyes gleamed in the
darkness.  "I was so mad at you both.  I thought you had stood there
and let me go along, while the two of you sat and laughed."

"Never happen," I said intently.  I reached out my hand and laid it
aside her cheek, gently forcing her face around to look at me again.
"I'll be here forever and a day.  One way or another."  I wiped the
tear tracks from her cheeks and noticed for the first time that my
hand was trembling, and jerked my hand back.    I had been in love
with Karen for so long that I had gotten quite good at controlling
myself when I was around her.  I could listen to her describe the
details of her latest date without wanting to run screaming into the
hills from frustration.  But this was overwhelming me.  

"In any case," I stammered, "I'm not gay."  I gave a nervous grin.
"Feel better now?"  Yeah, it was stupid and inane.  But I had to get
the conversation off of this topic or I was probably going to
embarrass myself even further.  And then something went 'CLICK' in my
head.  "Wait a minute!  You knew I wasn't gay!  All right, maybe you
could have thought I was bi," I allowed.  "But I told you about what
happened last summer."  Sean and Karen had gotten fairly accurate
versions of what had gone on at camp the previous summer.  The only
thing that I had glossed over was the intensity of my feelings.  I
couldn't very well tell them what I didn't know myself.

Her face took on a faintly surprised look, well it had been going
around most of the night.  "Oh, that."  She didn't seem too pleased
that I had brought it up.  "Well, umm, to tell you the truth, it
wasn't all that hard for me to convince myself that you were just
making that up.  You know, to save face?"

Apparently, my face spoke volumes.  "Come on, Dave.  A girl at camp?
An older college girl?  Could it be any more of a cliché?"

Part of me was could understand.  When she said it like that, it did
sound a little... contrived.  "I don't know what bothers me more," I
said.  "The fact that you thought I could lie to you like that, or the
fact that you thought I was that bad a liar."  Only part of me could
understand.  Another part was fuming.  "I can't believe thought that I
would concern myself with 'saving face' in front of you.  Especially
about something so fucking trivial."  Until that point, I had either
been scared or relieved.  For the first time in the discussion, I was
mad.  And she knew it.

We were quiet for a few minutes while I calmed down.  It was a stupid
thing to get that upset over, and I knew it.  Eventually, I reached
out and squeezed her hand, and flashed a quick smile.  It's the smile
that you give to someone to smooth things over, the one that says
'Don't worry, it's no big deal.'  She wasn't convinced either, but she
was smart enough to let it lay.  

"I do have a question, though," she said.

"I've probably got an answer."

"If you're not gay, why haven't you ever made a pass at me?  That's
part of the reason I thought that you and Sean...  All this time, you
never made a pass at me, you never asked me out, nothing..."

Oh shit.  I had buried these feelings a long time ago, and I really
wasn't in any mood to have an autopsy.  I waited a long time before
answering her question, hoping that she'd realize I didn't really want
to and withdraw it.  No such luck, she wanted an answer and, by God,
she was going to get it.

"What would you have done if I had?" Maybe I could still finesse my
way around this one.  

She took just as long to answer my question, as I had to answer hers.
"I don't know."

I had a chance, depending on how the next round went.  "And, no matter
how you reacted, you never would have looked at me the same way again,
would you?"  She hesitated, not wanting to say the obvious answer.
"Would you?" I pressed.

"No," she admitted grudgingly.  "It would have confused the hell out
of me, I guess.  Especially with the way I felt about Sean.  It
probably would have freaked me out."

"Exactly.  I've known how you felt about Sean for a long time."  I
laughed, "Maybe not since junior high, but long enough.  And it wasn't
hard to figure out how you'd react, even if I didn't wind up with a
slap across my face."  I took her hand and squeezed it tight. 

"I'm so sorry..." she tried to apologize again.

"Shhh," I interrupted her before she could get started.  "I know.  It
really is all right.  From your point, it was understandable.  I don't
blame you for it.  It just surprised me, that's all.  I mean, imagine
one of your best friends thinking your gay.  It's a bit of a shock to
the system."  I managed to grin and keep it lighthearted.  I was even
rewarded by another giggle.  It was wonderful to make her laugh again.


"Thanks Dave," she said.

"Thanks?  For what?"  I was confused again.

"For coming out here to talk to me.  For convincing Sean to tell me
what was going on.  You guys could have just ignored things and let me
go on the way I was."

I tried to shrug it off.  "It was the right thing to do, you deserved
to know.  And, although I didn't know it before, there is no way that
I could have let you go on, the way you were.  Not after I knew what
it was doing to you."  

She reached across and gave me a hug, a nice tight one.  It felt good.
I knew that whatever might have happened tonight, disaster had been
averted for the moment.  It also seemed like a good time to make a
graceful exit.  No sense in tempting fate.  The feelings that, just a
few moments ago, I thought were so well buried were threatening to
break out of their confinement.  Things were weird enough right now
without that added baggage.  

"Karen, are you okay now?"  I wanted to make sure things were back on
an even keel before slinking away.  

She nodded and murmured, "Yes, I think I'm all right now."

I pulled back and looked into her eyes, "Sure?"

"Uh-huh."

She seemed more together.  More like what I was used to seeing,
without the guarded hostility that was so evident just a few moments
before.  There was also something else.  Something I should have
noticed.  But, it had been a rough night and I wasn't as attuned as I
should have been.  "All right, I think I'm going to take off.  This
really isn't exactly my thing.  Allen and James dragged me here
tonight.  Well, you know what I meant," I finished, in reaction to the
questioning look on her face.  "Give me a call tomorrow, okay?"

She nodded a little vaguely and I pulled away.  I grabbed the chair I
had been sitting on and carried it back to the table.  She joined me
and we walked back into the house.  We stopped to talk to Sean for a
moment, letting him know what had gone on.  His reaction was almost as
good as mine must have been.  Sean and Karen hugged, to show there
were no hard feelings.  Although I think Karen was still hurt by what
had happened, she wasn't going to be petty about it.  She understood
why, she just didn't like it.  I said goodbye to Sean, promising to
talk to him the next day, as did Karen.  I knew they had a lot more to
talk about, but the middle of the party probably wasn't the best arena
in which to air that discussion.  

I headed up the stairs, somewhat surprised to find that Karen was
following close behind.  I figured she had decided to circulate
upstairs and dismissed it from my mind.  It wasn't my first mistake of
the evening, but definitely one of the larger ones.  There were even
more people crammed into the house than when I had arrived.  Leaving
now was a good choice.  If I was jammed in here for very long, I was
going to go very nuts, very quickly.  Making my way through the crush
in the dining room, I glanced back and saw that Karen was still there.
I reached back and she took my hand.  We slowly pressed through the
people, eventually making to the front door.  The front porch was only
a little quieter than inside, and I had to raise my voice to be heard.

"Are you leaving too?"  I almost shouted.

She shrugged and brought her face close to mine, "It depends."

"On what?"

"On this," she said and pressed her lips to mine.

Everything seemed to fade away.  My heart was like a trip hammer in my
chest.  This was the moment that I'd been waiting to have for six
years.  It seemed to go on forever.  Our lips met and danced together,
sliding against each other, questing and tasting.  I felt myself
getting light headed.  At first it I thought it was simply an overdose
of hormones, but it got worse and worse.  I finally realized what was
happening.  I was so totally focused on the sensations that I actually
stopped breathing.  I forced myself to break away, my only other
option was fainting, and that probably wouldn't have been a good
choice.  In retrospect, perhaps it would have.  

I pulled away, gasping to recover my breath.  There were spots before
my eyes, and I could barely stand on wobbly knees.  

I pulled away, gasping to recover my breath.  There were spots before
my eyes, and I could barely stand on wobbly knees.  And then something
clicked, I actually realized what had just happened.  For years, I've
been on the outside looking in.  After she started chasing Sean, I
started to pull back.  I started to bury that stuff, down deep where I
thought they'd be safe, somewhere where they couldn't hurt me anymore.
And then I met Melissa.  For the first time, I realized that I could
love someone else and the world wouldn't come crashing down around me.
All of a sudden, all those emotions came storming to the surface.  But
they were mixed up with my feelings for Melissa.  Like some goddamn
witch's brew, bubbling and percolating through my fucking head.  I did
what any red-blooded American coward would do.  I ran.  I did not pass
'GO'; I did not collect two hundred dollars.  I just ran.  I was in
the car and pulling out of the driveway inside of a minute, leaving
Karen standing on the porch with a look of shock that quickly faded to
indignation.  There was going to be hell to pay, at some point in the
very near future, but at that point, I had to get out.

Chapter 11

The drive had been an adventure, but I'd made it up here to my own
little spot on top of the hill.  And I still wasn't any closer to
figuring things out than when I initiated my inglorious retreat a
couple of hours ago.  I had never been as happy as those months with
Melissa last summer, but tonight had cast everything in a different
light.  It hadn't been the fear of 'cheating' on Melissa that had sent
me screaming into the night, figuratively if not literally.  It had
been the implications of what had happened between Karen and I, and
what it meant for the future, be it long or short term.  Melissa and I
had exchanged no promises, no vows, both of us realizing that was a
little premature, considering the situation.  It might have been nice
to promise eternal love and fidelity, but we were both too smart and
pragmatic to fall into that trap.  

No, the events of tonight and my less that impressive reaction to them
had nothing to do with Melissa, not directly at least.  No, I realized
that I had done this to myself.  It stemmed from years of adolescent
schoolboy fantasies, which I managed to find a way to bury, but no
exorcise.  Holding them at arm's length didn't seem to be a viable
option anymore, but I hadn't been able to come up with an alternative
yet.  

The flash of headlights playing over my face interrupted my
unproductive musings.  I hadn't even noticed the car pulling up in
front of me, and I wasn't pleased.  Just about the last thing that I
needed was company.  The headlights went out and I could recognize
Sean's beat up old truck sitting there.  Sean I could handle, although
why he thought I'd be here was a bit of a mystery to me.  It slowly
dawned on me how he knew when I realized that there were two figures
in the truck, and I was afraid I knew who the other one was.  

Sean got out and walked between the cars sitting nose to nose, and
came over to my window.  I rolled it down and waited resignedly.  

"Heard there was a little adventure out on the front porch tonight."
He certainly didn't waste any time.  Then again, we knew each other
far to well to have to engage in verbal fencing for anything other
than our amusement.  And this was definitely not the right time.  

"Uh, yeah, you could say that," I managed.  "Let me guess, Karen?"  

"Got it in one.  She said the two of you have unfinished business and
wanted me to give her a ride to your place."  He rolled his eyes and
continued, "Once she told me what had happened, I figured you'd be
here, instead of home."

"Gee, thanks," I said dryly.  "You couldn't have played dumb just this
once, could you?"

It was a joke, mostly, but he answered seriously anyway.  "No,
actually, not this time.  I think the two of you need to talk, at the
very least."

The tone of his voice told me more than his words.  "Oh no."

"Exactly.  She's not that drunk, but she was on her way."  He paused
thoughtfully. "And I don't think it would have been good to have her
drunk off her ass in the middle of that part, not with everything that
went down tonight," he finished meaningfully.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah...  I know."  He was right, and that was the bitch
of it.  Things had been going along just fine until I screwed things
up and it was up to me to put them right again.  But I didn't have to
like it, and I didn't.

He slapped my shoulder and walked back to the truck, stopping at the
passenger door.  Karen got out, and they spoke for a moment.
Exchanging a hug and kiss on the cheek, she headed to my car while
Sean climbed into the truck and pulled out.

His horn sounded as he passed and I watched his tail lights disappear
down the hill.  The car door opened and Karen slipped in on the other
side of the front seat.  I had cursed that huge bench seat earlier in
the evening, while trying to take those turns at 70 miles an hour, but
at the moment, that wide expanse of ugly brown vinyl was a huge
comfort to me.  The silence stretched out between us.  Even though 'we
needed to talk' neither of us was anxious to be the first one to
speak.

Finally, after what seemed like an hour of nothing but the sounds of
the night wafting in through the open windows, she broke the silence.
"I thought you said you weren't gay."  As an opening gambit went, it
wasn't bad.

"I'm not," I sighed.  "I promise."

"Then what the hell were you doing?"  Her voice was flat and more than
a little hostile.  "Was the kiss that bad?"

"Hardly.  Let's just say that it was a little more than I expected.
Okay?"  

"No, it's not okay."  She paused and took a deep breath.  "I finally
figured out why Sean isn't interested in me, and now this happens.
It's not fair!"

I had no idea how to reply.  I didn't think the idea of proclaiming my
love, as much of a relief as it would be, wasn't really an option.  No
matter what had happened on the porch, I was still pretty certain that
she didn't feel the same way about me.  

She was impatient, as usual, and decided to prod things along in her
own, inimitable way.  She flowed up against me, her lips pressing
against mine as her tongue slipped into my mouth.  I did what I could
to keep up.  Apparently, it was enough.

"Wow," she murmured.  Obviously, she recovered faster than I did.
Well, that's fair, she wasn't taken by surprise.  All I could do was
nod vigorously in mute agreement.  "I guess she did teach you a few
things," she said a little archly.  Another warning sign missed.  "Are
you going to run away this time?"

"Mmmmm, I doubt it."  

"You know," she drawled slowly, "my parents aren't home tonight."  She
smiled a wicked little grin.  "They had a banquet in the city and
decided to stay for the night."  

Without saying a word, I unwrapped my arms from around her long enough
to get the car started and moving.  Keeping one arm on the steering
wheel, I guided the car carefully down the rutted road, trying to
fight the part of my brain that sat in the corner screaming "Faster,
faster, faster!"  It was a losing battle.

For her part, Karen didn't seem willing to wait the few minutes to get
to her house.  As soon as the last of the gravel road fell behind us,
she moved away slightly, her hand running over the hard bulge in my
pants.  I had been hard since the moment the first kiss had ended and
I was actually capable of understanding what had happened.  "You've
got it all nice and hard for me, don't you?" she asked teasingly.
Without hesitation, her hands were busy unbuttoning my pants.  She
slowly dragged the zipper down, while I slipped my arm free arm around
her shoulders.  Spreading my pants apart, she lowered the elastic band
of my underwear down.  Released from its confinement, my cock sprang
upright.  She emitted a little sigh of pleasure and gripped it
tightly.  It wasn't all that large, falling just barely above
'average', if Kinsey was to be believed.  Karen, however, didn't seem
to be too disappointed.  After a few seconds of stroking the shaft,
she bent her head and sucked the head into her mouth. 

The sensation was startling, to say the least.  After a minor bobble,
I got the car under control again and kept going, albeit at a reduced
speed.  Thankfully, I hadn't been going very fast in the first place.
She hadn't even twitched when the car had swerved, seemingly
completely absorbed in her task.  I managed to find my way back the
twisting roads without killing us in the process, although Karen
wasn't a great deal of help.  She seemed intent on playing, her tongue
running over the tip, then sliding her lips down over it in a taut
tight circle.  She made little humming noises as she did so, and her
legs flexed rhythmically, which convinced me that she was enjoying it
as much as I was.  

There was plenty of room between my lap and the steering wheel, a
feature of the huge car that I had heretofore been completely
unappreciative.  She shifted positions and showed me, directly, the
folly of my ways.  Rolling over so that she lay facing the seat with
her head in my lap, she proceeded to play the tip of her tongue on the
underside of my cock, running it along the length of the shaft from
the glans to my balls.  Gasping at the new feeling shooting through my
body, I took a tighter grip on the steering wheel.  We were within a
few hundred yards of her driveway, and I didn't want to end up dead in
a ditch when we were so close.  I felt like my fingers were making
indentations in the hard plastic, my knuckles white because I was
squeezing so hard.  

That last stretch of road before the turn seemed to go on forever,
drawing out in front of me like the hallway in Poltergeist.  There was
nothing supernatural about this effect, however, and we eventually
reached our destination.  Pulling to a stop in front of the garage, I
didn't know whether to be thankful for arriving safely or to be
disappointed because it was all going to end in a few seconds.  I
compromised by simply sagging limply back against the headrest,
completely absorbed in the feelings that were radiating out from my
cock.  No sooner had the engine died away, Karen began to get serious
about what she was doing.  The sense of play was gone immediately, and
she engulfed me, drawing my entire length into her mouth with
deliberate slowness.  Inch by inch it went, and there were far too few
inches for my liking.  But she didn't hesitate.  When her lips
encircled the base of my cock, she simply reversed herself, raising
her head as slowly as she had lowered it.  It felt as if I was on
fire.  She pulled her mouth away, replacing it quickly with two agile
hands, that worked together to drive me to the very edge.  I knew,
without question, that I wasn't going to last very long and told her
so.  

"Oh yes," she said in return.  "Cum for me, Dave.  Cum for me.  I want
to feel it shoot into my mouth.  Cum for me.  Cum for me.  All hot and
sticky..." she trailed off and lowered her head, hovering over my
trembling hips with her mouth wide open.  Her hands increased their
tempo, and I felt the muscles in my legs tense, and knew she'd get her
wish in a matter of seconds.  When it finally happened, I felt like a
fountain, pulsing jets of semen up into her mouth.  As soon as the
first drops hit her mouth, she moaned and dropped her face down
closer, catching ever bit of it.  My hips began to buck, and she moved
her head in response, sucking each drop off as it emerged.  When the
shudders finally subsided, I was completely drained both literally and
figuratively.  At least for the moment.  My first ever blowjob and it
had been worth the wait.  After tucking things away, I reached into my
pocket and pulled out a cigarette.  I really didn't smoke that much,
but at that moment, I truly needed one. 

"Mmmmm."  She seemed quite peppy, and I hoped she didn't actually
expect an answer yet.  It was taking all my strength just to keep the
lighter still enough to light the cigarette.  "I'm going to go inside
and get ready.  Come downstairs when you're done.  You can't smoke in
the house, my parents would freak."  Then she was out the door and
walking away towards the house.  She stopped after about ten feet,
whirled around and made her way back to the car. 

She leaned on the door next to me, dropping down to bring her face
level with mine.  I was almost afraid of what was coming next.
Sometimes my instincts are right.

"Thanks for coming back with me tonight.   It's really important,
after everything that happened.  When I finally realized about Sean...
I didn't know what I was going to do.  And then you came out to talk
to me and made everything all right again.  And I realized what I
wanted, what I needed.  I needed to be with someone tonight."  She
swayed a little, and I realized that she was just a little drunker
than she looked.  "I'm really glad it's you."

I was starting to get a nice warm feeling; no, it wasn't a declaration
of eternal love, but it was something.  And then the duck fell from
the sky and hit me on the head.

"And besides," she giggled.  "I really didn't want to go back and find
someone else at the party to fuck, they're all to drunk!"  With that
she leaned in to give me a quick kiss on the cheek and danced back up
to the house.

I watched, stunned, as the lights come on as she made her way slowly
through the house.  A fuck.  All she wanted was a fuck.  My heart was
again hammering in my chest, although it was very different that what
I had been feeling even a few moments before.  I thought I was going
to throw up.  All those dreams that had been raised from the dead were
now dying again, twisting in the wind while she danced along;
completely unaware of the havoc she wreaked.  

I wanted to get out of there, as fast as possible and as far away as
possible.  The idea of going in there was more than I could handle.
The ember of my cigarette, burning uncomfortably close to my fingers
brought me out of my unpleasant thoughts.  I wasn't going to run away
again.  Not this time.  Maybe I really am that stupid.  Maybe I'm just
a glutton for punishment.  Maybe it's the only time I'll ever get the
chance.  And maybe, just maybe, there's a little tinge of revenge to
it.  If she wanted a fuck, maybe I'd be able to give her one that
she'd remember for quite a while.

I just wondered if I could do it.  For that matter, I wondered where
she had learned the technique, which I had just experienced.  From
what I had heard of the school gossip, none of the guys had been
bragging about having gotten anywhere with her.  Although she had been
chasing Sean, she hadn't refrained from dating.  She'd worked her way
through most of the 'upper echelon' of guys over the last few years.
Never more than a few dates in a row with any of them, she'd go weeks
before saying 'yes' to the next guy.  But none of them, as far as I
was aware, had been able to go any further than a 'make out' session.
She had a reputation as something of a "look but don't touch" kind of
girl.  Either the guys were much better at keeping her mouths shut
than I had believed possible or she was getting her tutoring from
other avenues.

I crushed out the cigarette and followed her, somewhat belatedly, into
the house.  I walked through the house, moving from one room to
another.  In each room, I found a piece of her clothes.  The front
hall had her shoes while the living room held her shirt, draped over
one of the overstuffed easy chairs.  Her panties were hanging on the
railing on the stairs down to the basement.  She didn't waste time; I
had to give her that.  There was a dim glow that lit the foot of the
stairs.  The basement itself was the standard finished family room.
It even came with a pool table, which stood a few feet behind the
sofa.  A floor lamp, situated deep in the corner was the source of the
warm glow I had seen from the head of the stairs. 

Eventually, my gaze found its way to Karen, lying languidly on the
couch.  Fortunately, it wasn't the first time I'd ever seen a woman
naked, or I may have fainted dead away at the sight.  Her black hair
was spread almost like a fan over the pillows. As she lay there, my
eyes played over her body, revealed for the first time, at least to
me.  Her breasts were every bit as full and firm as they had seemed
under the fuzzy sweaters that had first captured my attention in
junior high.  They had grown since then, but then again, so had I.
Wide dark nipples contrasted sharply from the pale flesh around them,
even in the dim light of the room.  She opened her eyes to look at me,
almost in faint surprise.

"I wondered what was keeping you," she breathed.  "I had to start
without you."  Legs spread slightly, she was keeping both hands busy,
running through the deep triangle of dark hair that covered her pussy.
She swung herself into a half-sitting position on the couch and opened
her legs, giving me a better view.  "Like what you see?"  I hoped that
was a rhetorical question.  "Come over here and show me what you can
do.  Show me what you learned."

Damn right, I would.  I covered the short space between us with
studied casualness.  As far as she was concerned, this was just
another fuck, and she'd never know different, not from me.  I leaned
over her and gave her a kiss just as she had given me, searching and
demanding with my mouth.  Trailing my tongue down her chin and neck, I
stopped and ran my mouth over her full breasts.  They stood up as firm
and proud as eighteen-year-old tits should.  Her nipples were
something new, though.  They stood out from the areola like two dark
erasers.  They were long, hard and appeared to be very sensitive.
Dragging my teeth across them cause her to squirm underneath my
weight. 

"Come on, fuck me, Dave.  Put your cock in me and fuck me."  She was
actually pleading.  That brought me up short.  I certainly wasn't
ready to start fucking, and I was shocked that she would be, at this
point.

"Are you in a hurry to finish up?"  I asked sarcastically.  "If I'm
keeping you up late, I can always leave."  

"NO!  I want you to fuck me!  I'm ready for you to fuck me!"  She was
almost panting in her eagerness.  "I already sucked your cock, didn't
I?  What are you waiting for?  I want your cock in my cunt," she
demanded.

Well, that answered at least one of my many questions.  Whomever it
was that she had been practicing on, he wasn't very eager to go down
on a woman, the poor bastard.  "What am I waiting for?"  I repeated.
"I'll show you."  I slid down her torso, continuing the journey I had
started before being waylaid by her gorgeous tits.  Her pubic hair was
thick and tightly curled, lying in ringlets close to her skin. 

She moaned in surprise as I ran my tongue down the length of her slit
for the first time.  She tried to utter a half-hearted protest, but it
was quickly smothered by an even stronger moan when I slid my tongue
between her lips.  She wasn't kidding about being ready, either.  I
could taste the juices that flowed out of her pussy when my tongue
entered.  Describing how women taste is a futile exercise, maybe the
most futile anyone can engage in.  The closest I could come to
defining her taste was to compare it to Melissa.  Where Melissa was
fruity, with an almost citrus taste, Karen was muskier, reminding me
of cinnamon.  Suffice to say it was delicious and I proceeded to enjoy
myself.  Pulling back the hood to expose her clit, I brushed my tongue
over it lightly. 

She actually screamed in reaction to the touch of my tongue.  My head
jerked up of its own accord. "What's the matter," I asked worriedly.
I wanted to give her the fuck of her life; that would be revenge
enough for me.  I actually had no desire to hurt her.  Well, not much
of a desire. 

I smothered my grin by burying my face back into her wet snatch.  Now
that I knew she was so sensitive, I wanted to be very careful to start
easy and build the intensity slowly.  I spread her tight little lips
with my fingers and used my tongue to sweep long slow strokes over her
exposed pussy, sliding my tongue a little deeper between the lips on
each pass.  At the top of each stroke, I very lightly flicked her
clit.  Each time my tongue touched her clit, she let another moan out
and her hips gave a sharp twitch. If possible, she was getting even
wetter that she was when we started.  I could actually see her fluids
running down her swollen pussy, forming tiny rivulets as they wound
their way down the folds of her cunt.  

Opening wide, I slid forward and covered all I could with my mouth,
sucking her lips inside and gently nibbling on them.  Her hips
strained upwards, following the pull of my mouth.  Suddenly, her hips
were bucking wildly.  She started screaming in earnest as I sucked
harder and harder at the tender morsel in my mouth.  Certainly more
vocal than Melissa, she also seemed much easier to bring to orgasm,
which was going to make my job a lot simpler.  The screams put me
rather on edge, until I realized, somewhat sheepishly, that, at least
tonight, we didn't have to worry about being overheard.  

Although I hadn't had a great deal of experience, it was clear even to
me that she was cumming.  Her body was rigid, touching the couch only
enough to support her head and ass.  If she was wet before, suddenly
she was flowing like a river, inundating my mouth with the hot warm
evidence of her orgasm.  For a fleeting moment, I thought she had lost
control of her bladder, but the lack of the characteristic odor
quickly overrode my worries.  She was just cumming, in buckets.  I
kept moving my lips over her, trying to extend the orgasm as long as
possible.  It was a heady experience to taste the results of my
exertions in such a direct manner.  

Eventually, though, her movements and noises began to slacken, and I
started to slow my ministrations, resuming the long gentle strokes
along her now sodden slit.  All that, without ever really working on
her clit, and in such a short time.  Collapsing back onto the couch,
she opened her eyes and pulled me, by my hair, up along her body.  I
began to tease her with kisses.  Brushing my lips along hers, letting
her tongue catch my lips for a second, then pulling away.  It was
enough to start her moaning in frustration.  

"Kiss me, damnit.  I can smell my cum on you.  I want to taste it.
Let me taste my cum."

Well, now that I knew she wanted it that bad...  I kept teasing her,
staying close let her get a good taste every so often.  Even with all
the teasing, it didn't take her long to clean every last drop from my
face.  I rolled over to recline next to her on the couch.  Leaning on
one elbow, I ran my free hand down her body, trailing my fingers down
to her pussy once more.  Spreading her lips, I slipped my finger
inside.  She immediately pushed her hips up to meet the palm of my
hand.  I slid my finger back and forth inside her, drawing it out
until it was just barely resting between her tight little lips.
Pausing for a moment, I drove it back inside her, the palm of my hand
actually slapping into the blistering flesh of her pussy.  

Her hands gripped the cushions of the couch, grasping so tightly that
her knuckles actually started to turn white.  She spread her legs
wide, draping one over mine as we lay next to each other.  For the
first time since I knelt in front of her, I realized that I was still
completely dressed.  I hadn't even taken the time to kick off my
shoes.  

Karen's moans were growing louder and louder, accompanied by her
bucking hips.  She was getting close, again. Releasing her death-grip
on the couch, she covered my hand with hers, forcing my hand tighter
against her and sliding her hips back and forth against the pressure
of my hand.  I managed to force my thumb under my palm and into
contact with her clit.  As if I had flipped a switch, the effect was
instantaneous.  The low throaty moans slid up the register, ending up
as staccato screams of pleasure.  She used my hand as a dildo, timing
the strokes to coincide with the thrusts of her hips.  Within seconds
of the change, I felt the now expected flood of her juices leaking
past my finger and down her lips once again.  

I slipped my hand from under hers, while she continued slowly
massaging her mound.  Holding my fingers up to catch the light
glistening on her wetness, I saw her eyes immediately locked onto the
sight.  I thought that perhaps it was a good time to find out just how
much she did like the taste of herself.  I slowly moved my finger up
to her face, causing her eyes to widen in anticipation.  

"Oh, yes," she murmured.  "Give it too me...  Let me taste my cunt...
My hot sticky cum covering your finger.  I want it."  She was begging,
almost whimpering under her breath.  I had to strain just to hear what
she was saying.  I rubbed my finger over her lips, giving her a taste,
but pulling it away whenever she tried to suck it into her mouth.
Each time I drew my finger back, she moaned in frustration and the
quiet begging began again.  After repeating this a number of times, it
finally dawned on me that she wasn't trying to turn me on by talking
dirty; she was turning herself on.  

Her hands moved faster and faster over her clit as she mumbled the
words to herself over and over again.  It became a litany, the words
tumbling over themselves as she spoke faster and faster.  At one
point, she apparently licked off all the fragrant residue, and wanted
more.  Without missing a beat, she spread the lips of her pussy.
"More, I want more.  Give it to me."  I could hardly hear her; but
then again, it wasn't very necessary.  I could figure out what she
meant without the words.  I quickly slipped my hand down, away from
her face and started toying with her spread lips. 

"Oh yes.  Put it in me.  Fuck my cunt with your fingers.  Get them
nice and sticky for me.  Fuck me...  Hot sticky cunt..." It had gone
past turning me on, and had now started to get distracting.  She lay
there, muttering over and over to herself.  I was starting to feel
like a six-foot tall dildo.  But, I intended to try to fulfill all
those demands.  Her hands were still holding her apart while she
moaned insistently.  I pushed first one finger, then another inside.
I could feel that she was even more relaxed now than when we had
started, so I tried slipping one more finger into her pussy.  It went
in easily, meeting almost no resistance from her slick flesh.  

Bunched tightly together, I moved my fingers back and for the inside
her, sliding around in the wet tunnel.  I pushed into her as deeply as
I could go, causing her eyes to roll back and her moans to grow
louder.  This time I didn't need to figure out for myself when she was
about to cum, she told me.  And anyone else in the time zone.  

"Oh yes!  I'm cumming, again.  Make me cum again," she urged.  Her
body bucked back and forth along side me.   "Again, again, again,
again..." She finally ground to a halt, her voice trailing of as her
body slowed its shudders.  I pulled my fingers from her, pulling
against the suction created by her strong muscles.  When they popped
free, they were literally dripping wet.  Slowly moving them up her
body, they created a trail of small droplets, glistening like dew on
her pale skin.  

I realized that I hadn't said a word since I'd come inside, and that
was going to change.  "Do you want it, all nice and wet," I asked with
a smirk, holding my fingers just out of her reach.  "Come on, Karen,
tell me how much you want that hot pussy juice."  I wasn't sure how'd
she react, but with what I had seen so far, it certainly seemed
reasonable.  

If I had hoped for an effect, I wasn't prepared for what I got.  Her
eyes snapped open and stared at me.  For almost a minute, she lay
there, her eyes traveled between my face and my fingers sitting only a
few inches from her lips.  I thought I had somehow crossed an unknown
line and taken a step into no man's land.  My whole world was knocked
off its access with that first kiss tonight, and I hadn't been able to
get it back.  Everything had been so unexpected, so unplanned, so...
surprising, this shouldn't have been, and wasn't, any different.  But
it felt like I was trying to dance a waltz in the middle of a
minefield.  

After the long pause, I expected her to read me the riot act.  Once
more, I proved myself to be almost incompetent in judging people, as
though the court needed any more evidence.  She closed her eyes again
and started to speak very quietly.  "Please, Dave, let me taste my
cum.  I want to taste my cunt juices.  Please let me have it.  I want
it so bad." Her voice had the same almost dreamy quality to it, still
speaking more to herself than anything else.  But her eyes told me
that something had changed.  They opened again, glittering in the dim
light.  She looked at me expectantly.  I didn't know if she was
waiting for my fingers or more words.  So I gave her both.  

"Lick them clean, Karen," I said, sliding one finger into her mouth.
"Lick it nice and clean, baby."  She pulled it into her mouth, sucking
it like a miniature dick.  She played with it, the same way she had
played with my cock in the car.  Pushing the other two wet fingers
between her lips, I filled her mouth.  Without hesitating, she took
all three of them and continued sucking greedily.  After a few
seconds, I pulled my fingers out, causing her to emit a small moan of
protest.  

"What's the matter, Karen?"  I taunted.  "A little while ago, you
couldn't wait to have my cock inside." Kicking off my shoes, I
unbuttoned my pants and slipped the down while I teased her.  Pulling
my shirt over my head, I continued "Don't you want it anymore?  Isn't
your hot little cunt ready for it yet?"  I knew it was, and she kept
her fingers sliding in and out of it as I talked.  "Come on, Karen,
show me how much you love that tasty little cunt.  Clean off those
sticky fingers."  She hardly needed the encouragement, but as soon as
I uttered the words, her hand was out from between her legs and her
tongue was running over it, trying to lick it clean.  

While she was busy, I fumbled in the pile of clothes at my feet,
triumphantly pulling my wallet out, like a rabbit from a magician's
hat.  Even though I hadn't run the risk of using it before tonight, I
carried a condom tucked into one of the pockets of my wallet.  I carry
it for the same reason my dad carries a twenty-dollar bill folded up
behind his driver's license.  Just in case.  It was a deeply strange
feeling, pulling the little foil wrapper from the circular groove it
had worn into the leather.  The lubricant was cold when I rolled it
open over my cock, and it gave me a tiny shiver that ran up the back
of my neck.  I stroked myself a couple of times, making sure things
were secured and turned back to Karen.

She was still lying back on the couch, with her fingers in her mouth,
but her eyes were staring at me, apparently entranced by my
preparations.  "Oh yeah, come here and fuck me, David.  Stick that
gorgeous cock in my hot sticky cunt."  She spread her legs as she
talked.  Her thighs were shiny from the flood she had unleashed so
far, and the light fabric of the couch highlighted the darkened patch
where her wetness had soaked into the cushion.  Moving in between her
thighs, I knelt down and spread her legs as far apart as I could.  

"Do you really want this nice hard cock?"  I asked, placing the head
between her labia.  I grasped the shaft and rubbed it over the hard
nub of her clit.  It was just as sensitive now as it had been before.
She jerked at the contact, trying to force her hips down over my cock.


"Oh god, give it to me, you bastard.  I want that cock.  I need it.
Fuck my hot little cunt with it.  Shove that prick into my cunt.  Fuck
me.  Fuck me till I scream," she demanded.  That shouldn't be too
difficult, considering how easy I had been able to get her to scream
already.  I slid the head of my cock down along her slit, from top to
bottom.  I pushed my hips forward, running the underside of my cock
between her puffy lips, the thick veins rubbing against her clit as
they went past.  "Stick it in me, you fucking bastard," she growled in
frustration.  

After teasing her for so long, I was barely able to restrain myself.
I centered the head of my dick on her pussy and plunged into the warm
wet depths for the first time.  Although my three fingers had, only
moments before, been stretching her wide, it was warm and tight, and
surrounded me completely.  Grinding my hips against hers, I leaned
forward enough to make sure her clit was caught between our bodies.
Her legs wrapped around my back, driving her heels into the small of
my back.  She pulled me in with her legs, loosing my balance I fell
forward.  Well, I had been considering it anyway.  

I held myself up with one arm I while I leaned forward and ran my
tongue over her nipples again.  Holding one magnificent tit in my
hand, I sucked on the pointy little knob, dragging my teeth across the
pebbly texture.  It was enough to start her on another litany of
talking dirty.  

"Suck it.  Oh, I love seeing you suck my tits.  Fuck me harder....
Pump my cunt with your cock."  I dug my teeth in a little harder and
received a shriek of pleasure for my efforts, as well additional
encouragement.  "Oh God, yes.  Bite them.  Yes.  It's so good.  You're
cock is so good."  

Looking up at her while my mouth was busy on her tits, I saw that was
staring back down at me, apparently intent on what she saw.  Her
breasts, although firm, were pliable enough to allow me to pull them
up closer to her face.  Right before her eyes, I ran my tongue over
her nipples and dug my teeth in deep enough to cause her eyes to widen
in a combination of surprise and arousal.  Arching my body, I made
enough space to slip my hand down between us to her pussy.  She was
still soaking.  I ran my fingers over the sopping folds of her lips,
getting them nice and wet for what I was planning.  I also made sure
to give her hard little clit some attention while I was in the
neighborhood.  Unfortunately, well perhaps not 'unfortunately', I gave
it a little too much attention, and she was soon in the throes of yet
another orgasm.  It was getting ridiculous, I knew I wasn't that good.
Although I loved every minute of it, I knew that I couldn't let it go
to my head.  She was getting off so easily because it was simply the
way she was.  Even I could tell that much.  But, God, it was a
wonderful spectacle to witness.

I tried to time my thrusts into her with her own motions, increasing
the force with which I entered her.  As our bodies slapped together, I
could hear quick little exhalations that were pushed out of her from
the force of the collision.  However, I was forced to remove my hand
from her clit.  Otherwise, I was risking a broken wrist from both the
contortions I had to go through to reach it and also the force of the
impact of our bodies.  I quickly brought my hand up and rubbed it over
her breasts, making sure to smear the juices over her nipples.  

She watched me closely as pushed her tit up close to her face once
more, and slowly, slowly lowered my head to lick off the juices I had
deposited there.  "Yes, yes...  Lick it off my tits.  It looks so sexy
like that."  Which of course brought to my mind, something that I
thought would look sexy.  

"Mmmm, wouldn't you like a nice taste of your pussy right now, Karen?"
I asked tauntingly.  "It's so good and sticky."  She looked shocked at
what I was insinuating.  But it passed quickly from her face and she
leaned her head forward, sticking out her tongue in an effort to reach
the nipple, I held so tantalizingly close.  It was just out of reach.
If she strained, she could just barely get the tip of her tongue to
touch that hard little cylinder sticking up from the surrounding
flesh.  I could feel that she was easily flexible enough for me to
pull her tits up close enough for her to get a good lick and perhaps
even allow her to get her lips around it.  But I wasn't going to let
it happen that easily.  

"Come on Karen, tell me how much you want it.  Tell me how much you
want to feel this hard little nipple in your mouth.  You do want it,
don't you?"

"Give it to me, you prick.  I want to suck my tits.  I want to taste
my cum.  Damn you, David.  Give it too me.  You're driving me nuts.
I'm so hot.  Your cock is so good in my cunt.  Please, let me taste
it...  let me suck my tit."

Finally relenting, I pushed her tit forward, bringing it within reach
of her greedy little mouth.  Initially, she merely flicked her tongue
over it, bringing it in contact with my own.  I lay on top of her,
absently sliding my cock in and out of her pussy while both our
tongues traveled over her nipple.  I released her breast, causing her
to sigh in disappointment.  She had forgotten, however, that I had
already prepared the other one.  Bringing it up to her face, I held
back, allowing her to have it to herself.  This time, instead of just
her tongue, she was able to get her mouth around it.  As soon as she
sucked it up into her mouth, I started to pound into her pussy with
increased speed.  Her hands slid beneath mine, nearly tearing her tit
out of my grasp and pulling it even closer to her face.  Deprived of
my prize, I straightened up, placing my hands on her knees and forcing
them apart as far as they would go. 

It made for an impressive image, one I knew I would carry with me to
the end of my days.  Her head bent forward, she paused only long
enough to urge me to pump harder before continuing to suck and bite at
her nipple.  I could feel the familiar sensation starting at the base
of my balls.  I was amazed I had lasted as long as I had.  The
combination of intense concentration, a previous orgasm and the condom
had been just barely enough.  If I didn't do something very quickly, I
was going to cum, long before she was finished.  It'd be a lousy way
to end a stellar evening.  I drove deep into her and held myself,
pressing against her while I wormed my finger down between us to
stimulate her clit one more time.  It was enough...  just barely.  The
bucking of her hips drove me over the edge in a matter of moments, but
the sensitivity of her clit allowed me to bring her right to the
precipice before my body started ignoring what my mind had to say.  

It wasn't mind numbing, but it was a good one.  The blowjob in the car
probably drained me more than I had realized.  Remembering the suction
that had built up with my fingers, I made sure to keep a hold of the
condom when I finally pulled my softening cock out of her.  She seemed
to be in a daze, so much so that I was unsure if she realized that I
had cum.  I felt a little smug.  Hell, I felt very smug.  It seemed
that I had done what I had set out to do.  

"Karen?"  I spoke quietly, leaning over to kiss her one more time. 

She stretched and let loose a long sigh, I hoped it was one of
contentment.  "That was great," she murmured.  

I smiled back down at her, trying to match her nonchalance.  "Yeah, it
wasn't too bad, at that."  Standing up, I started to pull on my
clothes, much to her surprise.

"You leaving now?"  She asked incredulously.  

"Karen," I replied patiently, "your parents are gone for the weekend,
not mine.  They expect me home tonight at a decent time.  Or I'm
screwed."  I smirked at the unintended pun and she smiled as well.
"Besides, I seriously doubt I'd be able to get it up if I had a gun to
my head, not after two in a row."  It was one of my weaknesses, I'd
found.  I could normally go quite a long time without cumming, but one
orgasm was usually enough to wipe me out for the night.  It balanced
out.  

"Well, I thought you might want to stay for a while, you know, just
lie here together for a little bit," she finished hopefully.

"No, I don't think so," I said, buttoning up my shirt.  "I'm not
really in the mood.  Besides, it was just a fuck, right?"  Yeah, it
was mean and cruel and underhanded and viscous.  But I'm like that
sometimes.  And it got my point across.  Her eyes widened in surprise
and pain.  And then, like watching the sun come up, I saw the
realization dawn across her beautiful face.  

I bent over and kissed her quickly.  I wasn't about to give her a
chance to start apologizing and drawing all those feelings out into
the daylight.  Being with her, in just that way, had allowed me to
bury them, there would be no more questions of 'what if' trailing
along behind me as I lived the rest of my life.  "Thanks for tonight,"
I murmured.  "It was great."  I stood and walked quickly to the foot
of the stairs.  "Goodbye, Karen," I called on my way upstairs.  

There were a few tears as I drove home alone.  It was a huge part of
my life that I had left behind me in that house.  After you live with
something that long, the absence of it is painful, even when you know
it has to go.  Like an infection that had been excised, it hurt like
hell, but I knew that once it stopped hurting it wouldn't start again.

Chapter 12

When I got home, my parents were, sensibly, in bed.  On my door was a
Post-it note, telling me that Melissa had called while I was out.
After the phone bill topped two hundred dollars in calls to State
College in one month, my parents had, somewhat uncharacteristically,
given an ultimatum.  Even though I offered to pay for my own calls,
they set a limit of one call a week.  Of course, they couldn't stop
her from calling and, to their credit, didn't try.  I hadn't tried to
hide what was going on.  I can't say they were thrilled at the idea of
their high school son going out with a college senior, but they
weren't the types to raise a fuss.  The real reason behind the phone
limits was to make sure that I didn't become too withdrawn from my
already limited social life.  I understood that, and appreciated the
gesture even though I sometimes chaffed at the strictures.  They were
hardly in a position to complain loudly, since my mother was three
years older than my dad was.  Of course, they actually waited until
they were both in college to meet, which, to them, made all the
difference. I thought it was a fine hair to split, but since they
didn't make an issue of it, neither did I.  I think my father was
secretly rooting for me, but he had enough sense not to mention it in
front of my mom.  

It was far too late to give her a call tonight, and I wouldn't be
capable of coherent conversation in any case.  The night had taken
much, much more out of me than I had expected, not only physically but
emotionally as well.  I collapsed into bed, just barely remembering to
set the alarm to get me up early enough to call her in the morning.
Sleep came so quickly I barely had time to close my eyes. 

When I talked to Melissa in the morning, I found out that the
surprises weren't over quite yet.  Her answering laugh was normal, but
still unfair.  She had always had the distasteful habit of being
bouncy and perky, right out of bed.  On the other hand, I was
philosophically opposed to mornings on general principle.  I could
force myself to function, but the birds were always a little too loud
and1 the sun was always a little too bright for my comfort.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I replied to her warm, throaty laugh.  "You always
did have a nasty streak in you, sweetie.  Have I mentioned how much I
admire that?"

"Of course you have, sport.  I wouldn't be the same without it."  

"So what's up?  I got the note last night, but I rolled in around two,
so I didn't think I should call."

"Oh really, late night, was it?  Gonna tell me what happened?"

"Yeah, I will, but not right now."  I wasn't in the mood to play 'Bare
my soul' at eight in the morning.  

"Well...  um," She sounded completely flustered.  "I was wondering
about something.  Your classes are over, right?  What I mean is, do
you have anything planned for the weekend?"

I thought for a moment.  "No, I don't have anything going on this
weekend.  Why?"  I could see where it was heading and I wasn't sure if
I was ready for it, not after last night.  

"Well," she continued nervously, "Stephanie is going home for the
weekend.  And I was wondering...  I was wondering if you'd like to
come up for a visit.  There are a couple of parties going on that we
can go to..." she trailed off.

I turned the possibility over in my mind.  It would mean a
confrontation with my parents.  This, in truth, meant a confrontation
with my mother.  My father wouldn't have a problem.  Unfortunately for
me, he was at work and I'd have to clear it with mom before I even got
to that point.  

And then I wondered whether I was actually ready to deal with the
situation, considering everything that happened the night before.  I
knew I would have to talk to her about it at some point, and it
probably wasn't going to get any easier the longer it went.  But I was
scared out of my mind about how she would react.  

Taking the bit between my teeth, I told her I'd love to come up, but,
in the manner of teenagers everywhere, I'd have to clear it with my
parents first.  I told her I'd call her back in fifteen minutes,
before she left for work.  

"I don't have to go to work today," she replied.  I could visualize
the smile lighting her face when she told me this piece of good news.
"Toni is going home to her parents this weekend.  I don't have to go
in until Tuesday."  Toni was the grad student with whom she was
working this summer.  If she was going home for the weekend, there'd
be nothing for Melissa to do.

"Better and better," I murmured under my breath.  She heard me and
giggled in response.  "OK, I'll call you in fifteen minutes anyway.
The screaming should be over by then."  It was supposed to be a joke,
but her silence told me that she took it too seriously.  "Calm down,
Melissa.  I was kidding.  She almost never screams at me anymore."

"You idiot.  Don't do that."  

"Sorry," I said.  "Talk to you in a few."

I hung up, and then prepared myself.  To put it bluntly, I girded up
my loins for war, because it was going to be a pitched battle if ever
there was one.  I went out in search of my adversary.  Fortunately, or
unfortunately depending on one's point of view, she was easily found.
She sat out in the garden, vengefully ripping out the weeds that
encroached on her sacred soil.  

"Mom, are we planning anything special this weekend?"  It was the
safest opening gambit I could think up.  So what if it wasn't
particularly inventive, it got the job done. 

"Not that I know of.  Why, honey?"  She didn't look up, and I knew I
had to be very careful, lest her gaze fall upon me.  It has frozen the
hearts of better men than I.  

"I just got invited to go away for the weekend," I answered neutrally.
"Think there'd be a problem if I went?" 

"Well, where would you be going?"

"Penn State."

She stopped pulling weeds, and turned that baleful gaze on me.  I
don't want to give the wrong impression, she was a great mom, and I
considered her not only a parent but a friend as well.  But she was
a...  forceful personality in the best of times.  Right was right and
wrong was wrong, and God help you if you ended up on the wrong side.
She was widely feared among the kids with whom I had grown up.  If you
hung around my house at all, and many people did when I was in
elementary school, you would eventually run afoul of one or another of
her rather strongly held beliefs.  Eighteen years of close proximity
had burned away most of the terror from me, but most of the others
still got a haunted look in their eye when her name came up.  On the
other hand, they all knew that if they were ever in trouble, if they
ever needed anything from a comforting hug to a bed to sleep in, she
was the one to go to, without any doubt.  She was force of nature unto
herself.  

"And just who would you be staying with?"  I could actually see the
venom dripping from the fangs.

I knew better than to answer that question.  She was masterful in
laying traps for the unwary.  "Mom, you know very well who I'll be
going to see, who I'll be staying with, and why I'll be going."

"That's true enough, David.  Now tell me, since you're so good at
telling me what I already know, why should I let you go?"

"Because, Mom," I said carefully, "you know you can trust me not to
engage in any typical teenaged stupidity."  Not when I could engage in
some really spectacular stupidity, like last night, instead.  I wasn't
in the mood for the ritual fencing that always accompanied these
negotiations.  I had turned eighteen two months ago, and although she
really couldn't forbid me from going she could certainly make things
difficult for me if I chose to defy her pronouncements.  "And there's
no logical reason not to let me.  I'm not going to play the game about
this one, Mom.  Either you let me go, or you don't, and you give me a
reason why I'm not allowed." 

"You sound just like your father, you know that don't you?"  She
sighed.

"I learned from the best, Mom."  Carefully and attentively, I learned,
for eighteen years.  "Well?"

"You can go.  When are you coming back?"

"Probably Sunday night or Monday.  She had Monday off," I said by way
of explanation.  

"When are we going to get to meet her?"  Mom asked.

"Mom!  You've already met her!  You've met her twice already.  At
Thanksgiving both of the last two years!"

"I know, but some things are traditional.  You're supposed to bring
your new girlfriend home to meet your parents."

"She's not my girlfriend, Mom."  I paused to consider things.  "At
least not yet.  That's part of what this is about."

"All right.  If you say so."  She turned back to her holy war on the
invading weeds, muttering under her breath.  Any time I could cause
her to talk to herself, I had to count it as a win.  

I hurried back to the house and grabbed the phone.  I was a few
minutes early, but I doubted she'd be upset.  She wasn't.  I had to
get some directions, my only experience with the State College having
been one school trip in the eighth grade.  That taken care of, I asked
her when the best time was for me to show up.  

"The sooner the better, babe.  It's about a three and a half-hour
drive.  When are you going to leave?"

"Ohhh, in about ten minutes, I think.  Damn near an eternity.  So,
expect me anywhere between, say 10:30 and noon, depending on how many
times I get lost."  

"I'll be here, with bells on," she laughed back at me.  "See you in a
couple of hours, right?"  

"Bank on it, sweetie." 

We exchanged good-byes, and hung up.  I spent the next eight minutes
running around my bedroom, throwing clothes into a beat-up overnight
bag.  After thinking about if for a whole ten seconds, I also grabbed
a suit from my closet.  I decided I was going to take her to a decent
dinner, come hell or high water.  The closest thing we'd been able to
manage at camp had been fast food on our ritual Saturday afternoon
drive into town.  This time-, by God, I was going to take her to a
restaurant that actually had silverware.  I had plenty of cash, since
the semester had been very profitable.  The fear of making it through
four years of high school and then not graduating because of failing a
single course, had caused the money to flow like water from those who
were balancing precariously on the edge.  

I carried everything out to the car, and waved goodbye to Mom who was
still committing creative atrocities on the unassuming plant life.  

"You're leaving now?" she called in surprise.  "I didn't think you
were going to be leaving until this afternoon."

"Yeah, Mom, I'm leaving now.  Was there something you needed me to
do?"

"No, but you could have told me."

"You didn't ask that.  You asked when I was getting back," I said
carefully.

She tried to give me the Glare, but it didn't work.  I could see her
fighting to hold back the laugher.  She fought and lost.  "OK, you
little shit, get on your way.  Have fun."  She paused, and I knew what
was coming, "And, David, be careful."

"I always am, Mom."  Well, not always, but she didn't really have to
know that, did she?

As I pulled out of the driveway, I checked the fuel gage and winced.
A 26-gallon gas tank is nice when you're driving a long way and don't
want to stop.  But it costs an arm and a leg to fill.  That
accomplished, and only a few pounds lighter in my wallet, I settled in
behind the steering wheel for the journey.  It's amazing how
perceptions can mutate over the course of one drive.  The minutes
seemed to take hours as the first few miles fell behind, but the
closer I came, the faster things went.  I wasn't exactly sure about
what I was doing.  I knew I wanted to see Melissa, more than anything
else in the world.  But I was also scared out of my mind.  How was she
going to react to what I had to tell her?  No, I didn't feel some
irrational urge to confess my sins and receive my penance.  I didn't
think I had sinned.  At least, not in any sense of the word that I
understood.  True, most theology couldn't be stretched to cover what
happened last night, but I had never let that bother me before this.
Besides, that was the Catholic's shtick.  Melissa deserved to know
what happened, before we did something she'd regret.  It felt like
last night all over again.  Going to someone to let them in on a big
secret and then hold my breath and hope things didn't explode.  

But this time the secret was mine.  And the stakes were much, much
higher.

Chapter 13

With summer break in full swing, the campus and town that surrounds it
was all but deserted; though, I certainly couldn't tell the difference
at first.  The memories of my one and only previous trip here were
vague at best.  We had been having far too much fun tormenting our
faculty chaperone to pay attention to the scenery.  The lack of
traffic did allow me to muddle through the streets, tracking down the
correct address.  It turned out to be a little bungalow, looking
completely out of place among the older Victorian houses that seemed
to be the norm.  The area was obviously dominated by students.  The
large houses that lined the streets had four or sometimes five
mailboxes on the front, revealing that had been split up into student
apartments.  The alleys behind the houses provided access to the
greatly expanded parking areas.  Most of the houses had given up
backyards altogether in favor of concrete or gravel.  Melissa's place,
uncharacteristically, still retained a respectable portion of grass on
the postage stamp sized lot.  There was just enough room for me to
park the big behemoth next to a VW Bug.  That brought a smile to my
face.  The prototypical college student's car, right here in the
flesh, so to speak.  

I had barely pulled my belongings from the trunk and started towards
the back door when it burst open and Melissa came out at a dead run,
as if propelled from the bore of a cannon. She hadn't changed much.
Her hair was a little different, longer and more styled instead of
being pulled back into the ponytail she habitually wore when we were
at camp.  It seemed she had thought up something special to
commemorate things though.  She wore the same ivory blouse and short
skirt she had been wearing on our first night together.  I barely had
time to wonder if that's all she was wearing before she hit me.  I was
smart enough, surprisingly, to drop the bags on my own, before she
launched herself into my arms.  As soon as I stopped rocking from the
impact, both literally and figuratively, I felt something 'click' deep
inside.  And I knew everything was going to be all right.  It may not
be pleasant or easy, but it would be all right.  

The feel of her body pressed up against me was distracting, but in a
wonderful way.  I could tell, quite easily that, in fact, she wasn't
wearing anything else.  I ran my hand down her back and underneath the
thin fabric of her skirt, cupping one cheek of her ass in my hand.
That brought me up short.  I shook off the urge that arose from the
feel of her being so close.  It was time to talk.  And afterwards,
maybe, it would be time for other things.

After a long kiss, she peeled herself away from me and took my hand.
"Come on in side, sport," she urged, damned near yanking me off
balance.  I stopped long enough to grab the bag at my feet and then
allowed her to tow me up into the house.  It wasn't too bad inside.
It was just as small as it looked, with two bedrooms a kitchen and
dinette area and a living room stuffed inside the white clapboard
exterior.  It was a step up from the typical college dorm-room, or
even apartment, but it wasn't luxurious.

Dropping my bag next to the couch, I collapsed into the soft cushions,
relaxing after the long drive.  I was trying to think of how to broach
the subject, and I couldn't come up with a decent opening.  Holding
with tradition, however, she took things into her own hands.  She sat
down on top of me, straddling my legs and unbuttoning my shirt.  I
moved my hands up quickly to stop her.  "Hang on, Melissa.  Hang on a
second."

"No, I don't want to stop.  It's been too long."  She covered my lips
in tiny quick kisses.  "I want you so badly."  

As if I didn't feel the same way.  

It was a losing proposition, either way, but something inside stopped
me.  I had to talk to her about what was going on first, before
anything else happened. 

"Melissa, don't you think I want this as much as you do?  Think for a
moment, for God's sake.  I need you right now.  But there's something
else I need more.  And that's to talk to you about something.  And I
don't know how you're going to react to it."

"Damnit," she sighed.  "That's why you came up here, isn't it, to say
goodbye."  She looked as if I had just slapped her across the face.   

"What?" I was dumbfounded.  "Jesus Christ!  No."  I shook my head to
clear the cobwebs; it didn't help much.  "God, no," I continued
quietly.  "No, Melissa, you should know better than that.  No, this
has to do with that "long night" I had last night.  The one I didn't
want to talk about this morning.  I couldn't talk about it, not over
the phone."  I proceeded to give her a truthful, if somewhat
abbreviated account of the last night.  She listened in silence,
absorbing what I said without much expression. When I finished, she
sat for a long moment, without saying anything.

"And now what?  What are you telling me?  Are you saying that you
don't know which one you want to be with?  Is that what this is all
about?"

I wanted to scream in frustration.  "No, I thought I made that clear.
I'm not in love with her.  I don't think I ever really was...  Fuck,"
I said under my breath.  This wasn't going the way I thought it would.
"Melissa.  I love you.  I'm head over heels, completely, deeply,
tragically in love with you.  I've known that since the minute I saw
your face last Thanksgiving.  When I came through the door and saw you
standing there, completely unexpected..." I trailed off.  "When I saw
you, I realized what was missing.  

"But last night was...  It was something I had to do.  Something I had
to do to be free of her.  Not of her, but of my images of her.  Ahhh,
fuck it.  I can't explain this to you.  I'm not sure I even understand
it myself."

"So, basically, what you're telling me is that you had sex with
someone else, someone besides me?" she asked incredulously.

That hurt.  I thought she was going to be upset, but there wasn't any
need to insinuate that I couldn't possibly convince anyone else to go
to bed with me.  Granted, I wasn't going to give Paul Newman a run for
his money, but I hardly ever scared small children with my looks.  It
was unfair, and I said so.

"No, no, no," she said quickly.  "That's not what I meant.  I what I
meant was; that's the reason we had to talk?  Because of that?"  

"Well, yeah," I answered lamely.  "I thought it was important."  I
thought about it for a moment before continuing.  "I know we never
promised to be 'faithful' to each other.  And hell, if this had
happened a few months ago, or it had been someone else, it probably
wouldn't have been a big deal.  But..."  

"But, what?" she asked.

"I had to tell you about it before...  before we made love.  If you
were going to hate me and throw me out, I wanted it to be before...
If I had told you afterwards, then you might have regretted making
love.  And I don't ever want to make you regret being with me," I
finished seriously.  It made perfect sense to me.  But then again, it
usually does.  It's when I try to explain it to everyone else that
things usually go to pieces.  Like they are now.

She closed her eyes and looked in askance at the ceiling, and then she
said something that chilled me to my bone.  "Why me, Lord?  Why hast
thou forsaken me?"  Her tone of voice was so much like what I hear
from my mother that it was scary.  Looking back down at me, she
resumed her normal voice.  "You idiot," she sighed.  "You know, I've
spent the entire year waiting for you to tell me that you'd been with
someone else!  Augh!"  She sounded as frustrated as I felt only
moments before.  And I was more confused than ever.  She rolled off
me, throwing herself onto the couch before continuing.  "Okay.
Promise me that you're not going to get mad at what I'm about to say."
I nodded quickly, not wanting to go into the impossibilities of the
request.  "When we said goodbye last summer, I didn't know what to
think... not about you, or me, or even us.  Last summer was...
incredible.  It was the happiest I can ever remember being.  If things
had been different, if you had been older, I wouldn't have hesitated
to tell you how much I loved you.  Or how much I wanted to be with
you.  But...  when we said goodbye, you were, forgive me, a
seventeen-year-old high school kid, who had been with one girl in your
whole entire life.  One!  And what we had was very very different from
the normal every day first time.  

"I hoped that you would go back to school and actually go out with
some other people.  Not that you'd forget me, or that you'd fall in
love with someone else, but that you'd get a little more experience."
I started to protest but she overrode my objections, "Not sexually,
sport.  God knows, I can't complain about that.  You're the best lover
I've ever had."  Even though I had no clue where this was going, I
took a lot of heart in that last statement.  My smile must have been
blinding, because she reached out to caress my cheek as she continued.
"But I wanted you to go out and have a chance to date.  With the way
things were... are, between us, you deserved a chance to find out what
you might be missing, before you wound up with me.  I didn't want to
be in a relationship with you, not while you were wondering about what
you might have missed."  She took my hand in hers and squeezed it
hard.  "I knew it was a risk, not pinning you down before, but it was
a risk I had to take."

I opened my mouth to argue then closed it again just as quickly.  She
had a point.  Well, from her point of view she had a point.  "So what
do we do about it?  Where does it leave us?  In the same sort of limbo
that we've been in?"  It wasn't a satisfactory conclusion in the
least. 

"Not on your life.  You're here now, and you're mine," she said with a
predatory grin.  I reached across and pulled her over onto my lap.
The kisses were as good, even better, than I remembered, and far, far
better than whatever Karen had been able to muster. We stayed together
like that on the couch for what seemed like a very long time, kissing
and holding each other after such a long absence.  There was no hurry,
for either of us, anymore.  


