In Hyderabad we have our own little Johnny. His name is Chotu. His
father is ambitious to educate
Chotu. Chotu goes to school located in Tappachabutra. Its
principal is educated in Urdu high school
and claims that he passed tenth class!
There is a school inspection the next day and the conversation is
as follows:
Teacher: "Kal inispector ayinga. Kochchanaa (questions) puchinga.
Sab
achchaa padkey aao. Koi galath answer dingaa naa tho main uske
pairaan thod detoon."
Chotu: "Iski maakki. Kyun aara inispector? Kaam nai hai usku?
Kyakochchanaa puchta katey?"
Teacher: "Abey tereku kaiku re, tu kal school aanaaich nai. Tu
tera moo khola to gaaliaan nikaltay.
Tereku main absent nai daalthaun. Ghar pe baithkey gotiyaan khel.
Tu school aayingaa to inispector
ke saamney mere izzat ki biryaani banake khaaingaa tu."
So our Chotu is excited, goes home and tells his father that he is
not going to school the next day.
Father: "Yeah kyaa hai.. ischool hai paan dabba hai? Gaand pay
maartoon saale tu ischool nai gaya
to!"
Chotu: "Arey Bava, mera teacher bola nakko aao bolke."
Father: "Usku akhal hai! Begum suno! Chotu ischool nai jayinga
kathey kal.
Agar ino ischool nai gaya to kaise padhinga? Chotu, agar tu kal
ischool nahin gaya naa, tere haathan
pairaan thod daaltaun."
So Chotu cries and finally agrees to go to school.
Next day at the school, the teacher is very upset to see Chotu
back.
Teacher: "Arey teri maakki. Nakko aao bole to bhi kaiku aaya re?"
Chotu: "Mera bava gaand phod detaon bola ischool nai gaya to."
Teacher: "Offo! Tera bava bola? Theek hai chal. Last bench pe
baith aur inispector aya to chhup
jaa... Dikhnaich nai. Kuch bhi gadbad karinga naa meri noukri
gaand lag jayingi."
So Chotu goes and sits on the last bench hiding behind a tall guy.
Inspector comes for the visit.
Inspector: "Adaab."
Teacher: "Adaab saab. Bachen acha padrain saab. Kochchanaa puchey
to answeraan yun bolte."
Inspector: "Abaa? Offo! Ittey kilever(clever) hai aapke bachchey?
Achchaa, ek bahuth aasaan sawaal -
Hamarey jisam mein sab se nazook cheez kaun si hai?"
Teacher: "Arey Imtiyaz tu bata rey!"
Imtiyaz: "Saab, Kaleja saab."
Inspector: "Aisa! ...... woh kyun?"
Imtiyaz: "Saab, kaleja hai to sab kuch hota. Agar wo gaya naa,
kuch bhi nahin hota saab!"
Inspector: "Abaa, kya tez potta hai rey! Aur koi?"
Teacher: "Arey Akram, tu bata re."
Akram: "Saab bheja saab. Bhejey ku khuch bhi hua to kuch yaad
nahin rehta
saab. Haathaan pairaan kaam nai karte, iscooter ku kick bhi nai
maar sakte saab."
Inspector: "Abey Teacher, kya kya padaaraa re inku tu. Chutiyo ke
jaiseich answeraan bolrai naa!!"
In the meantime Chotu is trying very hard to hide but the
Inspector sees him. He thinks Chotu is
hiding because he does not know the answer.
Inspector: "Wo last bench pe yun jhuk ke baithaa naa wo pottey ka
naam kya hai?"
Teacher: "Kaun saab? .......Woh! (iski bhain ku, kaiku dikhaa re
tu) Woh Chotu hai saab."
Inspector: "Chotu? Ye kya naam hai? Kahan-kahan se lagaa lete re
bhai naamaan! Chotu, woh lambu ke
peechchey kaiku chchup raa tu?"
Chotu: "Saab main moo khola to teacher maaringa saab."
Inspector: "Tereku yaa mereku??"
Teacher: "Arey kya baat kar re saab, main kaiku maarthau aapku. Ye
potta ekdam badmaash hai saab,
jhoot bolraa. Abey Chotu, answer maloom hain to
bol nai to khaamoosh baith jaa mere baap tere pairan padtau."
Chotu: "Saab answer Gaand hai saab."
Teacher: "Allah!! Ino moo khola to meri gaand lag gayi re!!!"
Inspector: "Abey kyaa to bhi bolra re! Sharam kar badon ke saamney
aisaich baataan kartey! Yeich
sikhaaye tumhaarey amma-bavaa? Gaand kahaan
kaa answer hai re?"
Chotu: "Hau saab, gaand ich sabse naazook cheez hai. Kaiku boleto
wahaan pe dilli mein bamb phata,
to yahan Hydrabad mein apni gaand phat ti... Yahaan old city mein
gadbadaan shuru hotey, wahaan new
city mein sabki gaand phat ti... Uttaa kaiku saab, main yeh answer
bolraun naa, mere teacher ki
gaand phatri dekho!"