Title: Hydrabadi Shayar ki Kahani
 Author: Nawabzada Taj-ood-Deen Khan Lakhnavi

 A very chodu (naughty) shaayar made it to the marriage party of a
Nizam's daughter. He was behaving pretty well when some people
asked him to say a sher. These people were expecting something
nice from him, but then he started...

 SHER KAHE, SHAYARI KAHE YA GAYE KOI GANA
 SHER KAHE, SHAYARI KAHE YA GAYE KOI GANA
 TERI NANI PAIR UTHAYE, CHODE MERA NANA!

People were shocked to hear this though this shayar had a famous
background of telling some really gandu shayaris. But this being a
Royal Marriage, people requested him to say something about the
wedding. To humare shayar sahab ne farmaya...

 KYA HASEEN FIZZAA HAI INTAZAM KI...

 People - WAH!, WAH, IRSHAAD, IRSHAAD !!!!

 KYA HASEEN FIZZAA HAI INTAZAM KI...
 KYA HASEEN FIZZAA HAI INTAZAM KI...
 CHUDEGI AAJ LAUNDI NIZAM KI.

 This started to enrage the audience. They started abusing and
throwing stones at the Hyderabadi Shayar (poet). On this he again
started...

 AYE DHARTI KE CHAAND SITARON...

 This calmed people a bit.

 AYE DHARTI KE CHAAND SITARON...
 MAA KE LAUDON, PATTHAR TO NA MARO

 This time, the people went out of control and started beating and
kicking him. He begged them for mercy but they were not ready to
listen to him any more, so he finally stated.....

 GARDISH MAIN HAI SITARE, GAND MARLO HAMARI..
 GARDISH MAIN HAI SITARE, GAND MARLO HAMARI....
 JAB BAHARE-CHAMAN MAIN HONGE, MAA CHOD-DENGE TUMHARI...

 Rest is history. But the history stayed with him when he grew up.

 Ab jaahir hai ki aise chutiye ke prem me koi padega nahi. To yeh 
 shayar Hyderabaad se Bombai pyaar
 ka chakkar chalane ke liye aaya. Ek usne achchhi ladki ko dekha. 
 Ladki ka dhyaan kahi aur tha to
 shaayar sahaab ne wahi farma diya...

 MUDHKAR ZARA IDHAR BHI DEKH ZAALIM
 KE TAMANNA HUM BHI RAKHTE HAI
 CHUT TERE PAAS HAI TO KYA
 LUND HUM BHI RAKHTE HAI

 You won't believe it. But the girl liked this shayri and she fell
for him.Things went well for them for next few days lekin woh
ladki kuch aage nahi badhne deti thi.  To ek suhana mousam pe
humare dost ne use kahe hi dala...

 DIL TO DIYA HAI TUJHE PAR EK SHART LAGAYI HAI
 LENI HAI WOHi CHEEZ JO TUNE TANGO ME CHHEPAYEE HAI

That was it! Ladki ek dam ruth gayi aur shayar se milna jhulna 
chhod diya. To shayar ki haalat bhi
kharab ho gayi. Dost log bhi khairat puchhne chale aaye. To cheer 
him up, they requested him to say
a sher dedicated to her. So he goes...

 BEDARD ZAMANA KYA JAANE
 KYA CHEEZ JUDAAI HOTI HAI
 HUM LUND PAKAD KAR BAITHE HAI,
 JABKI GHAR GHAR ME CHUDAI HOTI HAI

Yeh sunkar dost log hil gaye. Koi bola lund ko sambhalo. To koi 
kaheta hai ki agar lund ko pakad kar
baithoge to mutne kaise jaoge? To shayar bolta hai...

 KOUN KAHETA HAI KI LUND YAHAN MUTNEKO AATA HAI?
 KOUN KAHETA HAI KI LUND YAHAN MUTNEKO AATA HAI?
 ARE WOH TO CHUT KI YAAD ME AANSU BAHANE AATA HAI

 Yeh sun kar sab dost log aur bhi pareshaan ho gaye. Ek dost se to
yeh suna bhi nahi gaya. To woh dost bolta hai ki mei kaise bhi
karke teri darling ko waapis bulaunga. Tere paas waapis aake tujh
pe ek ehsaan karne khi bhikh mangunga. Ab aap log to jaante hi ho
ki yeh shayar log kitne independant hote hai. To humare shayar ko
yeh ehsaan lene wali baat kuch pasand nahi aayi. To woh bola...
 
 EHSAAN KISI KA KYA LENA, HUM TO MUTH PE GUZAARA KARTE HAI
 EHSAAN KISI KA KYA LENA, HUM TO MUTH PE GUZAARA KARTE HAI
 JAB BHI YAAD UNKI AATI HAI, OOTH OOTH DUBARA KARTE HAI

Mahebooba kabhi waapis nahi aayi. To uski yaad bhula ne ke liye 
wohi shaayar Delhi chala gaya. Wahan
jab Qutub Minar dekha to bola:

 DEKH KE QUTUB MINAR, SHAYAR KA DIMMAG DODA
 ASMAAN KO CHODNE CHALA DHARTI KA LAUDA

Is par Delhi police ki gaand mein khujli hui to usey pakad liya 
gaya aur court mein pesh kiya gaya.
Jab Judge sahiba ne poocha "tumhe kuch kehna hai?" to woh bola:

 AIYE SANAM UTHA KALAM
 MUJHE KASAM HAI RABKI
 AIYE SANAM UTHA KALAM
 MUJHE KASAM HAI RABKI
 MAA CHOD DOONGA SABKI...

 On such a contempt of court, he was ordered to be hanged till
death. When he was buried, the judge sahiba visited his grave.
Needless to say, she was very mad so she pissed on his grave.
Judge sahiba ke jane ke baad is shayar ke bhoot ne ek arz
farmaya...

 WO AAYE HUMARI KABAR PAR
 AUR MOOTT KAR CHALE GAYE
 WO AAYE HUMARI KABAR PAR
 AUR MOOTT KAR CHALE GAYE
 MUTNE KA TO BAHANA THA
 WOH CHUT DIKHAKAR CHALE GAYE....!!

The End

    

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