Title: Akbar Beerbal aur Tansen ki Chaal
Author: Nawabzada Taj-ood-Deen Khan Lakhnavi "Chota Lund Gora Londa"
Tho bhaiyo aur beheno yeh baat hai Akbar Padshah-e-Islam ke
Zamane ki.
Usne 9 chutiye lundoore paal rakhe the. Abhi bolte hai uska
Navratan !
Birbal aur Tansen me bada kaampeeteesan raha karta tha...
Ek din gusse me aake Tansen kehta hai ki "Ab faisla ho hi jaye ki
kaun zyada bada betichod aur madarchod hai?? Main shart marta hoon
ki main Jodha Bai ke mammey choos sakta hoon!"
Birbal ki hass hass ke Gaand me dard ho gaya. Kehta hai ki
"Haramzada! Agar toone aisa kar diya to agle din poora Durbar ke
saamne mai nangaa aaunga!"
Bas fir hona kya tha lag gayi shart.
Tansen gaya bazaar, sapere ke paas. Kehta hai ki "Bhai, mujhe ek
saanp chahiye, untrained aur bina zehar ke hona chahiye".
Saanp khareed ke Tansen usko ghar pe training dena shuru karta
hai. Ek aadmi ka putla banake saanp ko kehta hai "BETA SAPPU uske
tang pe kaat". To sappu putle ke taang pe jake das leta hai. Aise
hi training karte karte sappu Tansen ka ishara dekh kar taang,
haath, gala, ityadi ko dasna seekh jaata hai. Jahan bhi Tansen
ishara karta, Sappu waha das leta. Training karke sappu ab taiyar
ho gaya burra din ke liye.
Ab baat aisi thi ki Akbar aur Jodha bai har subah apne bageeche me
sair ke liye nikalte the. Agle din subah Tansen bhi apne sappu ke
saath bageeche me ja pahuncha aur jhadiyon me chhip gaya.
Jahaan panah aur begum ko aata dekh tansen ne sappu ko phat se
nikalke zameen pe chhod diya aur ishara Jodha bai ke mammon ki
taraf karke bola. "BETA SAPPU dikha apna kamaal ja das le rani ke
Mammon ko." Sappu phat se gaya, begum ki taang par chadh ke,
mansal Jangho se gujerke chut ko par kar ke seedha ja pahunchta
hai mammon ke beech vali khai me vaha se plan ke mutabik seedha
left turn le ke chadh jata hai top pe aur ek second mein saali ko
das leta hai nipple pe!
Jodha chikhne lage "Arey merey randibaaz Akbar kuch kerna"
Akbar to paagal ho gaya "Arre bachao koi bachao meri begum ko
saanp ne das liya! Koi Bachaooo !"
Tabhi Tansen nikla jhadiyon se, bhaag ke gaya aur bola "Jahan
panah ek Upay hai mere paas rani sahebaan ko bachaneka. Mein agar
zehar choos kar bahar nikal doon to aap gussa hokar meri gand to
naahi katwa denge na. Akbar bola "Madar chod jo bhi karna ho jaldi
kar but meri begum ko bacha le." Phir kya tha Tansen ne phat se
Jodha bai ko pakda, uske kapde Ranjit ki tarah fade aur mammey
bahar nikal kar chhosne laga....aur poore ke poore choos
dale...(Aur idher-udher haath bhi maar liye harami ne)
Birbal ne ye baat suni to uski gaand se maano Rocket guzar gaya.
Man hi man sochne laga Bhenchod kal to lut gayee izzat, bhare
darbaar me nang dhadang jaana padega. Gaand lag gayi. Usne khoob
socha, baal khujlaye (upar ke bhi neeche ke bhi) lekin no idea.
Gaand jab khujayee to idea Lund ki tarah uchhal kar bahar aaya.
Agle din darbaar laga, Akbar ne sabke samne Tansen ki tareef ki
aur kaha agar tansen me zehar choosne ki shakti nahi hoti to Jahan
panah aaj randwe hote aur akele apne aap hilaa rahe hote.
Lekin Tansen tho intizaar nahi karsakta tha Birbal ke liye.
Khushi ke maare pagal ho raha tha ye soch kar ki jab Birbal bhare
darbaar me nanga hokar aayega to Akbar ki gaand sharm se paani
paani ho jayegi, Haa. Aur Wo birbal ke gaand pe itne hunter
maarenge ki Birbal ki 7 pushte muh se hagegi.
Tabhi darbaar me hulchul machi, sabne dekha ki Birbal nanga
hokar, apna lauda haath me pakde, dudta hua aa raha hai. Bas phir
hona kya tha Akbar ki gaand gusse se LAAL ho gayi...
Akbar bola "Birbal ye kya gustakhi hai? Teri himmat kaise hui
aise nange aane ki. Aur wo bhi poora Durbar ke saamne!"
Birbal bola "Haye Jahan panah! Mai mar gaya! Mujhe saap ne kaat
liya mere laude pe!"
Akbar bola "Ya Allah, Tansen ja choos Birbal ka lund aur usko
jaldi bachao!"
The End