Title: Moolla Do-Pyaza and the Two Jars
Author: Nawabzada Taj-ood-Deen Khan Lakhnavi "Chota Lund Gora Londa"
Item: Joke
This is an anecdote about an especially caustic joke by the
legendary Moolla Do-Pyaza, one of the "Nine Gems" of Padshah Akbar,
the Indo-Timurid or Mughal Caliph. The Moolla, a respected learned
man, with several years of experience in various fields of Islamic
science and theology, had recently been appointed as a lecturer at a
prestigious Womens' Madrassa. The first science class to be delivered
by the newly appointed authority was about to start. There were more
than a hundred Oudhi and Punjabi female students in the large
class-room.
Moolla Do-Pyaza arrived carrying two specimen jars - one was labelled
"Aryan Male Genitalia" and the other "Dravidian Male Genitalia".
"My Begums (Ladies), today we study male anatomy," commenced the
learned Moolla with his trade-mark naughty smile.
"Look," explained Moolla Do-Pyaza, holding up the first jar, which
contained a diminutive thumb-sized pink penis perched over two small
walnut-sized testicles. "These are the genitals of an Aryan man."
Displaying the jar to the women students, the caustic Moolla
continued, "Maybe these remind you of your Yaar (lover), or your
Shohar (husband). Well, they certainly remind me of mine !"
Next, the Moolla held up the other jar, which contained a gigantic,
cucumber-shaped, one foot long black penis menacingly hanging over
two heavy egg-shaped testicles. Showing this jar to the female
students, he explained, "Now, see these are the genitals of a
DRAVIDIAN man."
Then, looking at the Dravidian jar again with wide-open eyes, the
Moolla made a mock expression of astonished surprise at the size of
its contents.
"Ah, see my Begums! The Dravidian Genitals are so much larger and
better! This simply proves that the common perception regarding the
larger size of the Shudra penis is correct. No wonder some Aryan men
are jealous of Shudra men, and created the caste system and
untouchability !"
This was too much for many of the women madrassa students. Outraged,
several of them walked out.
At this, Moolla Do Pyaza asked in his most acidic tone, "What is the
hurry, my Begums? The next caravan for Hyderabad does not leave for
a week!"
The End