I arrived at Kevin Easton's apartment at four-fifteen, expecting him to be in since his home contact time started at four on Tuesday. My skin was crawling with nervousness as I rang the bell, but I tried to ignore it and focus on my anger. Then when Kevin answered the door, I got such a feeling of d�j� vu that I felt faint, but I fought it grimly. Kevin looked surprised to see me, but he covered it well. He was used to running into me around campus, and I never remembered who he was.
"Can I help you?" he asked. Definitely X's voice!
"I want to come in," I said in a neutral tone. He looked worried but answered reasonably.
"Can you tell me what it's about?"
"I know what you did to me," I said, watching his reaction carefully. If I'd had any doubt at this point, the panicky guilt on his face erased it. He seemed too much in shock to respond.
"I'm coming in!" I said, and walked toward him. He recoiled from the door, and I walked into his spacious apartment that I normally only caught glimpses of on the way to his bedroom. That thought infuriated me, and I stalked into the kitchen and sat at the table, waiting for Kevin to follow. When he came and sat opposite me he looked extremely apprehensive. Good!
"Deep trance!" Kevin said suddenly, watching my face expectantly. So he HAD created another key phrase. But I was impervious to it now, and I just glared at him. He tried again: "Uh, Sredni Vashtar of Leningrad is cruel!"
"That's not going to work now, Kevin," I said, letting my anger show. "Or do you prefer I call you 'X'? Or maybe 'Sir'?" Kevin got a trapped look, and I continued.
"I want you to know I've taken some precautions, and if I'm not back to my dorm by a certain time, the police will learn I'm here and what I've figured out. So you can't hold me captive, and torturing me to make me disarm my precautions won't work because I have to be in my dorm with other people around for several hours to accomplish that."
"I'd never hold you captive or torture you, Laura!" Kevin cried out in a shocked voice. I was watching him carefully to decide if he was dangerous -- I'd accepted that risk -- but he seemed sincere. He obviously didn't think of himself as a criminal, or even a bad person!
"You've done it already!" I shouted angrily. "What did you think you were doing when you turned me into your sex-slave and tortured me with that paddle of yours?"
"But you liked that!" he answered in a panicky voice. "I learned about your fantasies, and I was really just doing what you wanted!" He actually seemed to believe that!
"Do you think the police would take that point of view?" I asked angrily. "She really enjoyed sex, your honor, so when I hypnotized her and raped her I was just doing what she wanted! You raped me lots of times, Kevin, and you tortured me as a little preliminary!"
Well he wasn't completely out of touch with reality, because he looked frightened when I mentioned the police, obviously the strongest leverage I had.
"I think you'd get at least a five year sentence for what you did to me," I said slowly. "Probably more for what you did to the other girls." That was a guess, but Kevin's panicked look confirmed it. He hadn't broken into Dr. Petrosian's computer just to get one key phrase!
"I don't think you'd do very well in prison," I continued in a musing tone. "You're in reasonable shape, but you don't have enough muscle mass to defend yourself from other convicts -- I hear there are a lot of tough body-builders inside. Of course you probably look good enough to get some protection from some of the tougher ones if you can discover your feminine side."
I watched Kevin's terrified expression as I continued providing loving details. "There might be some pain along with the sex if your protectors get off on that," I concluded, "but you've already had plenty of experience with that from the dominant side! You might even get to like the submissive part by the time you're up for parole!"
"Please, Laura!" Kevin's cry sounded wrenched from him. I saw tears starting to run down his cheeks, and I stopped talking to let him think about what I'd been saying. He looked completely on the defensive now, and I was becoming confident I could deal with him by myself. Lucky for him, since the alternative really would have been the police!
"Please! Don't turn me in," Kevin pleaded. "I'll do anything I can to make amends. I have some money . . ."
"I don't want your money!" I snapped. "How about a taste of your own medicine? How would you like to be paddled and frustrated for awhile? Would you agree to that?"
"Yes!" Kevin answered, eager for an alternative. "Anything you say!"
I tried not to give any hint of the triumph I felt at the chance to take personal revenge. Let him sweat a little, thinking what he was in for if I didn't handle this personally!
"All right," I finally said in a grudging tone. "If you do everything I tell you without hesitation, I MIGHT not report you. I won't guarantee anything yet. I have some questions to ask you and then I'm going to wallop your behind every day for a good long time to give you a taste of what it felt like for me. Is there anything you want to say about that?"
"No, uh . . . No. I'll cooperate." Kevin looked apprehensive and relieved at the same time. He wasn't sure I'd stick to my word not to report him, but he thought he had a chance now.
I took out the six-sided die I'd taken from Patty's monopoly set, and rolled it on the table to dramatize what I was going to say next.
"Anytime you don't cooperate or try to conceal something from me, I'm going to go back to my dorm and roll this die." I rolled it again. "And if it comes up six I'll report you to the police immediately. No more chances for you. Do you understand?"
"Yes, uh, I understand, Laura." Kevin looked fascinated as he watched me roll the die again and get a five.
"Call me 'Ma'am' from now on. If I had to call X 'Sir', you have to call me 'Ma'am""
'Yes, Ma'am," he answered, sounding frightened. I rolled the die again and got a one. Again, and it was a six. I left it that way.
"OK," I said, "Strip down to your underpants, and I'll start asking you questions. I want you feeling vulnerable." I saw him moving hesitantly and yelled, "DON'T HESITATE!"
He jumped up to take off his shirt and pants, then his shoes and socks. He was flushed when he sat down again and I could see an erection through his jockey shorts. Good!
"I know a lot more about what you've done than you probably think, so you'd better consider what I'll do if I catch you trying to lie to me! I don't want you THINKING about my questions either! Answer them immediately!" I paused and frowned at him, then asked the first question on my list. "How many women did you hypnotize?"
"Six or seven -- or eight," Kevin answered quickly at first, then had to correct himself, which was fine with me. I didn't want to give him time to think about his responses.
"What time during the week do you meet with them?"
"I don't meet with them anymore," David answered. "I only met with most of them once or twice, and I haven't been with anyone but you for the last, uh, three weeks."
I was surprised by that, but tried not to show it. Kevin was eager to answer my questions now, and I didn't want him thinking about what I didn't know.
"Why are you meeting only with me now?" I asked sharply.
"Because you were the smartest and most interesting girl I found, and, uh, so I liked you more than any of the others."
Flattery always made me suspicious. But Kevin sounded so sincere, blushing when he explained that he liked me the most, that I couldn't believe he was lying.
"Liking me probably had more do with my looks than my intelligence," I answered cynically.
"That too, of course!" Kevin admitted quickly. I think you're beautiful! And also, uh . . ."
"What?" I asked. "Don't make me drag this out of you!"
"Your, uh, sexual response -- your fantasies -- you're just so tremendously appealing to me! You're the sexiest girl I've ever met!"
"Great!" I answered angrily. "Maybe I can do a center-fold for a sexual molesters magazine!"
But I wasn't quite as indifferent to what Kevin said as I tried to make him believe. I'd had a chance to look at him now while I wasn't hypnotized -- a really good look after I had his clothes off -- and I still thought he was attractive. He had an interesting face and a good body, which he obviously kept in shape, and I was getting kind of turned on looking at him. Even his voice gave me a thrill.
Shit! I had to focus more on what he'd done and remember what I was here for! He was a rapist who'd done disgusting things to me against my will, along with a lot of other girls!
"When you gave me those fantasies about X and started hurting me," I said, "did you do that because I liked it or because you liked doing it?"
"Uh . . . both!" Kevin answered, flushing again.
My next question came without thought. "You've controlled me for about eight weeks now, right? You must have realized by this time that if you approached me in a social way and gave me a hint you liked spanking girls I'd have been happy to go out with you. And I'd probably have let you do most of the things X does! So why all this sneaking around? Are you so pathetically introverted you prefer surreptitious fantasies to a real relationship?"
"No! I -- I've been thinking of approaching you that way. I wanted to do it! Soon!"
"Well what the hell were you waiting for?" I asked.
"I . . . thought you were too beautiful, that you were out of my league, and, uh, you wouldn't like me enough to go out with me if I just asked you without using hypnosis."
I didn't understand Kevin's lack of confidence, since he looked fine to me, and most of the guys I knew who had his appeal seemed to think they were God's gift to women.
"I was hoping to improve the odds a little," Kevin continued. "I was using hypnosis to get you to associate all the pleasurable sexual sensations I gave you with my appearance and voice, so when I finally approached you . . ."
Shit! That's why I felt so attracted to him! "You were trying to condition me!" I shouted. "Make me your slave twenty-four hours a day, instead of just a few times a week!" Kevin looked horrified and started to say something, but I interrupted him.
"Shut up!" I said. "I'm going to start your punishment soon, and I don't want to hear you trying to justify yourself any more." Kevin looked miserable, but stopped trying to talk. "Show me where you keep your toys!" I said. He looked blank, and I yelled at him again, "Your sex toys! Your paddle and the anal dildo . . . the things you used to torture me!"
Kevin's face got red, but he got up quickly to lead me to his bedroom, looking vulnerable in his jockey shorts. He opened a drawer in a dresser and I told him to put all his toys on the table so I could look through them. I saw two paddles, some restraint cuffs with ropes and a blindfold, several rubberized toys including two identical anal dildos that I knew all about, and a manila envelope. I emptied the manila envelope on the table and found what I'd halfway expected, photographs of nude girls.
There were five girls and I recognized two of them from my dorm: Gretchen Hohler, who was nice, and Dianne Grossman, who I always thought was a prissy bitch. There were two snapshots of each girl, a front view and a rear view with their names written on the back. In the front view, they were reclining on Kevin's bed playing with themselves, and in the rear view they were on their knees leaning forward on the bed with their butts perched up so you could see their pussies, looking back over their shoulders at the camera. They were all obviously aware of Kevin, and looked so infatuated with him they were eager to have him take their pictures in these demeaning poses. In the rear views, they all had red bottoms.
"This is disgusting, Kevin!" I bit out. He knew it, too! His face was as red as a beet, and he looked miserable. "I suppose you're going to tell me that all these girls liked being spanked, so you were just doing what they wanted?"
"No, Ma'am. But I only paddled them once or twice to see if I could turn them on to it. And I didn't do it very hard."
"You really like conditioning women to provide yourself amusement, don't you? Get in position over the table -- You know the position I mean! - And we'll see how you like it."
Kevin looked frightened, but he didn't try to argue. He went to the end of the table and dropped his underpants, then bent over and reached across to grab the opposite edge, spreading his legs to lower his hips until his torso rested flat on top. His erection was extremely prominent under the table, and I got turned on picturing X ready to come into me. Bastard! Trying to condition me!
The paddle he'd used on me was light and thin, like a long, stiff rubber spatula, but he had a heavier one that was made of hard wood, two inches wide and more than twenty inches long. I took the heavy paddle and went to stand in X's usual position at the head of the table, then gave Kevin a good hard smack on the ass, with a lot of wrist action in it. He yelled when the paddle landed, and I reminded him to make as little noise as possible, the rule X had for me. Then I walloped him again, eliciting a heartfelt grunt this time.
I counted out thirty hard strokes, spacing them out every two or three seconds, and feeling relieved to finally work off some of my anger. By the end of thirty, Kevin was trying desperately but unsuccessfully to wince away from the paddle in his constrained position, and his grunts had turned into stifled screams. When I stopped, he whimpered for a few seconds, then groaned and took a shaky breath. I told him I was giving him a few minutes rest and walked around the room looking at things. When I came back, I saw that the right cheek of Kevin's bottom was a very angry red, and the left cheek was a lighter brick red. That reminded me to change sides, but I had to bend to the left and use an overhand swing to get enough force into the paddle from his right side. When I started spacing out the paddle strokes again, Kevin reacted with stifled screams almost immediately, and they built up to full-throated screams at the end of thirty. After I stopped, he trailed off into moaning noises, nearly crying.
I walked slowly around to Kevin's left side again and looked closely at his bottom. Both cheeks were a very angry red now, nearly purple! I decided to just give him thirty more, fifteen from each side, but when I started the first fifteen he seemed to have lost so much sensation that I had to make the spanks harder to get him to shriek again. I gave him a longer break before the last fifteen, and when I walked up to his right side again he started pleading with me not to hit him anymore!
"That's what X called talking out of turn, isn't it Kevin?" I asked, then waited for him to answer.
"Yes, Ma'am." He answered, sounding miserable.
"I was going to stop," I lied, "But now I think you deserve to get some more!"
I started the last fifteen I'd planned and Kevin was screaming uncontrollably as the strokes landed. When I finished he was bawling for two minutes, and his behind looked like just one large purple bruise, with broken red capillaries in several places. I felt angry satisfaction that he wouldn't want to sit down for a few days, and decided I'd done enough for now.
Kevin didn't know I'd decided to stop, of course, so when I walked to his left side again he started whimpering. But I just told him to move back eight inches from the table, keeping his fingertips around the opposite edge, and bring his legs together. I had easier access to his penis this way. It was limp after his paddling, but he noticed me reach for the moisturizer cream and the anal dildo, and got his erection back immediately. I rubbed his behind lightly with my right hand for a minute, feeling his hot buttocks wince away from my hand, then inserted the anal dildo and manipulated him from behind until he started groaning and moving.
"Kevin!" I said. "When you tantalized me, you made me tell you when I get close, right?"
"Yes, Ma'am," Kevin moaned, as I continued manipulating him from behind. "I had you tell me when you were about ten seconds away from coming.".
"OK, yell 'Close' when you get to that point. And you'll be very sorry if I see you ejaculate or if I think you're not letting yourself get close enough!"
I put some moisturizer cream on my left hand and grasped Kevin's erection, then started stroking it. I'd had experience at this with a few boyfriends, so I knew exactly what to do.
Kevin was gasping and humping frenetically by the time he yelled he was close, and I decided he was being honest about it. I did what he'd done to me, breaking contact for thirty seconds at a time, then touching him again until he got very close. In between, I manipulated his anal dildo, and soon he could hardly bear to have me touch his erection -- he'd yell he was close as soon as I made any contact. I kept it up for about five minutes, getting extremely aroused myself, and when he started crying with frustration I finally stopped and removed the anal dildo.
I picked up the paddle again, and said, "I do NOT want you to masturbate when I leave you alone! I want you frustrated! If I think you've gotten off when I see you again, you'll be very sorry! Let me demonstrate how sorry!"
I gave him five very hard smacks with the paddle, and he screamed like he was having his legs broken. Then I asked him if he was going to be tempted to masturbate, and he promised he wouldn't, crying like a child. I was enjoying my revenge, thinking about the final instructions I'd planned, when I noticed blood on both of Kevin's buttocks where I'd broken some capillaries with the the paddle just now. I suddenly felt kind of guilty, but I tried not to let it show.
"OK." I said. "Go put a tracksuit on -- no underwear!" Once Kevin was dressed, I told him I wanted him this way all the time when he was home, and said I always wanted to be able to find him here during his home contact hours.
"And I want you to get an appointment with Dr. Petrosian to be hypnotized," I said. "After he does that you can tell me your key phrase."
"But -- Dr. Petrosian's a dentist, and my teeth have always been perfect!" Kevin said in a frightened voice. "How can I get him to take me as a patient?"
"Use your ingenuity, Kevin! You're the Professor! Find a way!"
"Uh, and I might not be as good a hypnotic subject as you are. I only took the names of girls who were in the deepest trance category."
"Stop being so defeatist, unless you want another paddling right now!" He cringed away from me and said he'd do everything he could.
I had Kevin give me a key to his apartment and told him to sleep in the raw from now on, without any blankets. "You can turn the thermostat up, but I want to be able to come in when you're in bed and check your erection to make sure you don't masturbate. And I want you to wear that blindfold you have in your toys when you go to bed from now on, and leave this light on so I can get a good view of you. If I'm quiet, you'll never be able to tell when I'm here! You can find out what it's like to never have any privacy!" I'd thought of this idea the previous night, but the blindfold made it perfect! I figured this way he'd never know when he was being watched, so he'd be too frightened to masturbate.
I told Kevin he should wash his behind with a cold washcloth and put on some disinfectant after I left. Then I took a final look at him before I walked out, and took in how miserable he looked. His eyes were red from crying. Good enough!
I got back to my dorm and stopped the delayed email job I'd set up when I went to visit Kevin. I still had to get the letter back from Patty and intercept the mail to Heather tomorrow morning, but that would be easy. I took the letter I'd left on my desk and put it in the manila envelope I'd taken from Kevin's apartment, then locked them both in my filing cabinet. I was sure Kevin had his fingerprints on the pictures, and he'd written out all the girl's key phrases by hand on a sheet of paper, so this was incontestable evidence of what he'd done.
I stretched out on my bed to get myself off, feeling aroused from bringing Kevin close at the end. I'd borrowed one of Kevin's anal dildos and it felt sexy going in, but then I kept getting disturbing mental images of the blood on Kevin's buttocks, and after a few minutes I gave up masturbating as a lost cause. I lay on my back, thinking of what I'd done and feeling guilty. Obviously I had a right to take some revenge on Kevin, but I'd been so angry I hadn't shown any restraint at all! I thought about the blood and the horrible purple bruising I'd caused, and it reminded me of a third world torture exhibit from Amnesty International. I'd been WRONG to do it so hard, no matter how much I thought he deserved it!
Patty was gone for the evening so I pulled on my slacks again and went to the Dorm cafeteria for dinner. I saw Gretchen Hohler sitting alone at a table and brought my tray over to sit next to her. After chatting a bit I slipped in the question I wanted to ask.
"I've had a couple of weird dreams lately where I'm with a mysterious guy who has some kind of control over me," I watched Gretchen's face for recognition. "I'm attracted to him, you know, it's pretty sexy, but it's kind of demeaning too. Have you ever had a dream like that?"
"No," Gretchen said smiling. "Too bad, it sounds like fun! I'm afraid all my dreams are very boring right now, about arranging details of the wedding. I'm spending so much time on it I'm dreaming about it, six months away! Hugh is threatening to chuck it all and have us elope!"
Gretchen was obviously unaffected by her meeting with Kevin, filled with plans for a June wedding after graduation. I chatted until the end of dinner, then returned to my room and hit the books. I had to catch up in my courses, and I visited two classmates to copy their notes from the classes that I'd missed. I finally got myself off when I went to bed, but I still felt guilty about what I'd done to Kevin, and the fantasy I ended up using was Kevin regaining control over me and paying me back for paddling him. A scary idea really, but erotic as a fantasy.
When I got to Kevin's apartment the next afternoon, I'd nearly caught up at school. I'd been thinking about how to continue Kevin's punishment, and I'd decided I wouldn't paddle him while he was so badly bruised, but I could still act strict and make him sweat a little, then get him aroused and leave him frustrated.
I used my key to let myself in quietly, but when I tiptoed into his office I found him working innocently. He was stretched out prone on the floor with his chest elevated on a beanbag chair, working at a computer he'd placed there. He was obviously too sore to sit at his desk. When he saw me he jumped up, looking frightened, and I ordered him into the bedroom immediately and told him to get in position. When he dropped his tracksuit pants and bent over the table his buttocks looked terrible! A large area was purple-black, badly swollen, and there were a few oozing scabs where I'd drawn blood yesterday. I quailed when I saw it, and I couldn't even bring myself to give him a spank with my hand as I'd planned. His toys were still on the table -- he'd obviously been afraid to put them back in the drawer after I left -- and when I picked up the paddle and walked behind him I realized he was trembling. I was amazed he'd been willing to get in position in this condition, but then I remembered the prison sentence he thought was the alternative and felt like a bully.
"Is your behind as sore as it looks, Kevin?" I asked. "Have you been having trouble sitting down today?"
"Yes, Ma'am," he answered in an abject voice. "It's awful! I can't sit down at all -- not even on the . . . toilet seat. I had to squat. And even that hurt!"
"Well maybe I won't have to paddle you any more today then, if you've been good in other ways." Kevin's whole body projected relief as the tension went out of his muscles. "What did you do about going to see Dr. Petrosian?"
He'd made an appointment with another dentist he hoped to talk into drilling, so then he could switch to hypnosis. This way, if the first dentist refused to drill he could try again with a different one. I asked Kevin if he'd masturbated since yesterday and he denied it earnestly. He said he'd heard me letting myself out the front door when he woke up late last night, and again early this morning, so I must know he'd been semi- hard the whole night! Of course I'd been much too busy catching up on schoolwork to spare a thought for Kevin, but my idea of making him think he'd be under observation was obviously working to keep him honest!
I had Kevin move back from the table again where his erection was handier to reach, and he groaned when I touched it. I didn't think he could counterfeit his body language to exhibit so much frustrated arousal if he'd masturbated last night, so I was satisfied. I inserted the anal dildo and started tantalizing him again, but even at the beginning I wasn't able to stroke his erection more than a few seconds before he was close. After he was crying with frustration again, I stopped and pulled out the anal dildo. I told him he could put his tracksuit back on, but he stayed in position to plead with me.
"Is there any way I can get to come? Please, Ma'am! I've been feeling so horny! I'll do anything you say!"
After a moment's thought, I said, "OK, if you agree to sixty hard spanks with the paddle, I'll get you off at the end." I could always let him out of the spanks if he agreed, saying I was just testing how desperate he was. But he answered with a groan, saying he couldn't stand sixty spanks, so I told him he could wait. After he had his suit on, I said I wanted to ask him some more questions, and reminded him I'd paddle him anytime I wasn't satisfied with the answers. He looked intimidated and promised to answer truthfully.
I started by trying to understand why he was so insecure that he couldn't bring himself to approach me for a date, and I found the answer pretty quickly. He'd been a child prodigy, skipping two grades by the time he was thirteen, so he'd always been an outsider while he was growing up. He'd been teased all through school by most of the other kids, including the girls who made him feel like a freak. I could relate to Kevin's problem very well after the traumatic teasing I'd had to live through at fifteen! In college he'd continued to skip ahead, and he'd just turned twenty-two in September, after he began teaching at the University! He was only a year older than I was! He was in good shape now from running and nobody was teasing him of course, but he still felt insecure with women.
"Another thing I've been wondering," I said. " You told me you hypnotized seven or eight women, but I only saw photos of five -- six counting me. What happened with the others?"
"Uh, well there was only one really, and she was a virgin," Kevin answered slowly, "She had strong religious scruples against having sex before marriage, so I didn't do anything."
"You thought hypnotic suggestions wouldn't overcome her beliefs?" I asked.
"No," Kevin sounded surprised. "I could have made her think we were married or maybe convinced her she'd decided to have a fling -- she had a strong sex-drive. But I didn't want to go against her convictions like that. All the girls I had sex with were pretty relaxed about it, and none of them would have turned down being spanked by a boyfriend as an experiment."
I was surprised Kevin hadn't brought this up to show how thoughtful he was when I questioned him yesterday, but of course I would have discounted it. Just because a woman was willing to have sex with a number of guys didn't give Kevin any right to take advantage of her. Still, I had to admit that the fact that he hadn't taken advantage of a woman who strongly opposed sex before marriage did say something positive about him.
"I . . . Uh, wanted to thank you," Kevin said suddenly, "for punishing me yourself instead of reporting me to the police." He ducked his head in an embarrassed way. "I've been thinking about what you said, that what I did was wrong. And . . . I realize you're right, and I'm ashamed now of taking advantage of those girls. I had all that power, and I didn't have anyone to talk with about it, so I let my urges run away with me. I know that doesn't sound like much of an excuse, but . . . I wanted you to know I wouldn't do it again. And I'm sorry."
He sounded sincere, and after the way I'd let my temper have full rein paddling him yesterday, I had more sympathy for his excuse than I would have earlier.
"Well that's a good first step, Kevin. And I want to say that I can imagine forgiving you for this after I've seen you expiate your behavior for awhile."
"Thank you, Ma'am." Kevin had tears in his eyes. "I . . . really care a lot about your opinion, and I'll try to do everything I can to cooperate with you. I know I deserve this. In fact you're going easier on me than I expected."
When I got back to my room, I admitted to myself that I was moved by Kevin's apology. I was suddenly dying to know if Kevin had caused any real damage to the girls he'd hypnotized, and decided to track down Dianne Grossman and talk with her too.
When I reached her room and asked her to dinner she seemed hesitant. We've never been close, and she'd acted like a bitch to a few of my friends. She finally agreed grudginly to go to dinner. When we sat down at the table and I brought up the dream I'd had about a mysterious guy with sexual control over me, Dianne sat back in her chair and smirked at me.
"That sounds weird. Do you really think it's a proper dinner table topic?"
"You've never had a dream like that?" I persisted, flushing.
"God, no! I think you ought to see a psychiatrist if you have sick dreams like that!"
I left the rest of my dinner and walked away from the table raging! That bitch! Maybe I should take the pictures Kevin took of her and post them on the main bulletin board at school, so everyone could see what a cow she was! In fact I had her key phrase! I could just tell her to go down to University center and start taking off her clothes and asking all the boys to . . .
No. No, no, no! I got back to my room and got myself under control, feeling my guilt grow into a giant weight. I realized that my temper had carried me away again, and I might have actually done something disgusting to Dianne if an unusual thought hadn't stopped me. I'd suddenly had a picture of myself in Kevin's position, doing the same sort of thing to Diane that he had. Actually, I had to admit to myself, I'd been tempted to do something a lot worse than what Kevin had done!
I masturbated Wednesday night fantasizing about Kevin punishing me for my temper.
On Thursday, when I got to Kevin's apartment I found he'd had his dental appointment and convinced the doctor to fill a minor cavity that he normally would have left alone. Kevin asked for no novocaine, but after the drilling was well along he said he needed something to blank out the pain after all. So he got a referral to see Dr. Petrosian on Monday.
"Did the drilling hurt?" I asked, feeling guilty again.
"Well," Kevin looked uncomfortable, "The worst part was sitting in the dental chair."
When I told him to get in position, his behind still looked terrible: the bruises were nearly black now; at least the scabs looked almost healed. Kevin said he'd had an erection most of the day, and when I started tantalizing him he was crying with frustration within two minutes. So I stopped and told him he could put on his tracksuit.
"I've been wondering about a few things, Kevin" I said. "In those weighings I had, you were making me think I was losing weight when I really wasn't. Why?"
"Well, catching you overweight was a good excuse to paddle you," Kevin answered, flushing. "So I'd make you think you were overweight when you didn't have spanks coming for anything else." Kevin looked worried to be admitting this, but rushed on. "You believed you needed to lose weight, but I checked the weight tables and found you're really average weight for your height. Besides, I think you have a terrific figure -- a nice bust and, hips and . . . uh, butt! So I didn't want to make you lose weight when it might even be bad for your health."
He'd actually checked the weight tables because he didn't want to make me lose weight when I didn't need to! I was impressed.
"Another thing," I said. "Why didn't I ever feel sore after you paddled me? Like last Saturday I sat and studied all afternoon and never noticed any soreness."
"Yeah, well," Kevin sounded embarrassed. "I worried that if I left you sore you'd have trouble studying, so I just paddled you lightly and made you feel sensitive while you were getting it so it would intimidate you. It seemed to work fine." I remembered it worked very well indeed -- I'd felt like I was going to have trouble sitting down for a few days after he finished. But he'd really gone very easy on me!
I was silent a moment. "I'm going to have to think about this for awhile," I said. "But thank you, Kevin, for not leaving me sore when you were in charge of me."
Kevin gave me a grateful look and I left before I said anything more.
I got home and considered getting off, but decided against it. I was coming close to a decision that meant I should restrain myself for a while. I went to dinner with Patty, and found I'd made my decision by the time I returned to the room. I got out my recorder and worked out some careful phrasing to use in autohypnosis. After I woke up from playing the tape, I started writing a letter by hand. I was used to doing text editing on a screen, so I tore up four drafts before I had it the way I wanted it. Then I took out the manila envelope with Kevin's pictures and put it in my tote bag along with my letter. Now I had to make an appointment to see Dr. Petrosian. I hoped he'd see me Friday morning -- he hadn't had time for Kevin until Monday.
He had time for me, though, and when I got to his office on Friday, I asked him to create a minor illusion that would last until the next morning. Dr. Petrosian's use of the key phrase worked now, and the illusion was perfect, but when I came out of the medical building I suddenly recognized it for what it was. I still saw the illusion, but I used a special phrase I'd set up last night under autohypnosis, and the illusion went away. I didn't use the other phrase I'd set up though, and a few minutes later I forgot all about everything I'd done with hypnosis since Tuesday.
When I got to Kevin's apartment, he was waiting for me, looking desperate.
"I had an erection all day today!" he said. "I'm just lucky I don't have a Friday lecture! I must have looked like a pervert with my hand in my pocket every time I had to walk anywhere, and whenever a girl in the class came to my office to ask a question, I started blushing!" He was blushing now, looking humiliated. "I almost had a wet dream this morning too! I was barely able to stop myself when I woke up! You wouldn't hold me responsible for ejaculating if I couldn't help myself, would you?"
"I'm not going to . . ." I started, but then Kevin rushed on.
"I think I can take a paddling now. My butt doesn't hurt as much as it did yesterday, it's more itchy than anything. I've GOT to get OFF!"
"I'm not going to punish you any more, Kevin," I said. "You're your own boss again."
Kevin looked at me with a stunned expression gradually shading into a look of intense relief.
"Thank you, Ma'am! Uh, Laura. Can I call you Laura now?" When I nodded, he went on. "I thought you were going to punish me for a long time! I thought I deserved to be punished at least for the eight weeks I controlled you! But I could see yesterday when you let me out of paddling without even mentioning it, that you were too gentle . . ."
"I'm not exactly gentle, Kevin! I have a real temper sometimes. But I've decided I'm just not good at this, and I don't want to punish you anymore. But that doesn't mean that you don't deserve punishment! I'm very mad about what you did to all those other women, and you're lucky one of them didn't catch you. If Dianne Grossman had been in my place, you'd be in jail right now!"
"I know!" Kevin agreed quickly. "I realize how lucky I am that you were the one to catch me, and I promise I'll never take advantage of any woman like that again!"
"OK. Now I want to say that I'm sorry I hurt you so much when I paddled you the first day."
"It's -- I deserved it! You don't have to apologize!"
"Well, maybe I do a little, because I want you to take me over again and give me the discipline you think I deserve." I flushed as I went on. "For as long as you like."
Kevin's jaw literally dropped, and he stared at me as if he couldn't believe his ears. Then his face got red and I saw conflicting emotions: lust was one, but it wasn't the one that won out..
"Look, uh, Laura. I'll do anything you want me to, OK? But I have to tell you I won't feel natural doing this. After what's happened . . . I mean, I've been feeling terribly intimidated about what you might do to me for days, and I STILL feel intimidated. You could still report me! I wouldn't dare, uh, give you discipline really, for fear you'd get angry at me again."
"Right," I said, nodding, "I thought you'd feel that way." I took the manila envelope out of my bag and emptied it out to let him see that everything was there. Then I said, "I'd like to tear all this up and flush it down the toilet."
"Yeah . . ." Kevin said hesitantly, "I see. You're offering to destroy the evidence, so I'll feel safe. Thanks, but I think you could still report what I did and they'd believe you."
"Fine. Now read this," I said, and gave him the letter I'd written by hand last night. He took it hesitantly and opened it, then read for a few seconds and looked up amazed. "This is . . ."
"A mash letter," I said with satisfaction. "Telling you how much I enjoyed sex with you and offering you my key phrase so you can hypnotize me and apply the discipline I feel I need. It's all true!" Kevin seemed at a loss for words.
"My key phrase works again, too," I said. "And I've got a diaphragm in! You can put me under anytime you like!"
Kevin suddenly looked at me with an intense expression, and I felt the thrill of fear I'd been waiting for. But then he just kept TALKING, damn it!
"Don't you . . .?" Kevin took a deep breath and started over. "Aren't you worried I'll be rough on you, to pay you back for what you've put me through? I don't want you to worry, I won't be too rough, but I just had to ask."
"Well, I've figured out that you were always very thoughtful with me when you had control over me before," I answered. "And it's clear the way you just asked that question that you're trying not to worry me. Besides, maybe I deserve to have you pay me back a little bit for losing my temper when I was paddling you." Kevin took that in thoughtfully.
"And since you want to talk," I added, "let me ask you something. You never made me tell you the best way to discipline me in real-time, did you? Like, you always paddled me from one side, and I kept wishing you'd switch, but you never picked up on that."
"Yeah . . . I thought of making you tell me your thoughts about how to punish you but I wanted to leave you a little bit of privacy."
"Well think about it again! And, by the way you can leave my bottom feeling sore at the end this time. I might have trouble studying that way, but we can deal with that if it happens."
Kevin nodded again and looked at me carefully, beginning to grin. Then he said something I couldn't hear, the last thing I remember.
When I woke up, I was in my underwear in Kevin's bedroom, unbelievably aroused. Kevin appeared in front of me, telling me to strip, and I got terribly embarrassed as I realized I had to follow his order. I'd forgotten how sexy the embarrassment was! Then he made me get in position over the table, and I got frightened as I saw him bringing over the heavy paddle to use on me. He'd always been easy on me before, but he had good reason to be angry with me now! I wondered what I'd been thinking not to at least give him some time to cool down before I put myself under his control like this! He took his time starting my padding too, and I was quivering with anxiety, but then I noticed how the anticipation was becoming more and more erotic! After a few minutes I realized I was lubricating so freely I was dripping on the floor, even without any stimulation.
Once it started, the paddling was very painful, and it dragged out a long time with rest breaks to let me catch my breath. At least Kevin was switching sides between rounds. Near the end I started begging him to stop, and he gave me ten more for speaking out of turn. Then he put my anal dildo in and made me get on the bed, keeping my butt up like the girls in the photos, and began to tantalize me. It was much more erotic having Kevin tantalize me on the bed than when I'd had to stay bent over the table.
When he finally let me get on top of him I came instantly, then a second time, and I felt like I was building up to a third when he finished and started to go soft. I tried to control myself and just hugged him. He hugged me back, and it was wonderful! I knew who he was now -- we could have a relationship! We could talk about real things, not just night-fantasy things.
"How's your bottom?" Kevin asked, and I snuggled against him as I heard the concern in his voice.
"It's fine," I said. "Pretty sore, it'll hurt to sit down for awhile, but it'll just make me hornier to feel that way. I know all about that from paddlings I got as an adolescent! How did you manage to stay stiff so long after you were in me? I was certain you were so horny you wouldn't be able to last."
"Well . . . I fucked you right after I put you under, and I told you not to come."
"That's why I was so aroused when I woke up! That sounds like one of my fantasies. Did I suggest that idea to you?" He nodded in a kind of embarrassed way and I snuggled against him again.
"Listen," Kevin said hesitantly, "If you don't want to do this right away, I'll understand. But how would you feel about living in my apartment with me? I have a lot of space and . . ."
"And it'll give you a much better chance to keep an eye on me to make sure I don't step out of line. Sounds like a great idea! You can help me move out of my room tomorrow."
After we'd hugged for a half-hour, Kevin said he wanted to take me out to dinner. We got dressed and walked to a wonderful Italian restaurant I'd heard about from Patty, and I was kind of lost in a fog of happiness as we walked together. After Vince left, I'd understood that the only way I could have a relationship again was to find another boy who liked my fantasies, but I'd found I was still too warped by my childhood traumas to talk about my fantasies with anyone. But I'd lucked out now, finding a really nice guy who'd had a hard time growing up, just as I had, and thought I was the sexiest girl he'd ever met. When we got to the restaurant and I sat down in the chair the waiter held for me, I winced. Kevin smiled at me and I smiled back, then we shared a bottle of wine and ate some great veal.
While we were waiting for dessert, I said, "I've been thinking of taking another year at school for an MBA. I'm supposed to choose a technical minor, and I liked the two programming courses I had, so I was wondering if you'd tutor me in some more of the more advanced stuff. I promise to work hard on any assignments you give me, and not pester you all the time."
Kevin laughed at how serious I sounded. "You don't have to sign a contract! I'll be happy to tutor you." He seemed to get thoughtful again, then said, "Listen, what were you planning to do over Christmas?"
I hesitated. "My parents live nearby -- in Venice. I could just go visit them for a few days, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. You can come over and meet them if you want." I tried to make it sound casual.
"Yeah, my parents live in Brentwood, and I'd like you to meet them too."
I smiled happily. "And then we can come back here to the apartment," I said.
Kevin seemed to have a lot of emotion in his voice suddenly. "This kind of intimacy makes a relationship progress fast, doesn't it?"
"Well, we've really known each other for more than two months!" I said.
Kevin moved his chair around the table to be next to me, and took my hand. We sat quietly together until the waiter brought the check.
We were going to spend the night together, so I called the dorm and left a message for Patty. Kevin promised to order a King-sized bed Saturday morning, but I liked the double fine for now. I was eager to have sex again, but Kevin gave me a little spank and told me to wait -- he was in charge of that now, and he wanted me nice and horny! That got me pretty excited, and I told him so, but he didn't respond by doing something about it as I'd kind of half-hoped. I still wanted close contact though, even if it wasn't sexual, so we went to sleep in spoon position with Kevin behind me, and I noticed that he wasn't really all that calm himself.
I didn't drift off right away, and when I heard Kevin snoring lightly I suddenly remembered the special phrases I'd set up under autohypnosis. I whispered the first phrase, and I recalled everything Kevin did earlier today while he had control of me. He'd asked me if it was too mean to fuck me and leave me horny while I was helpless, and I told him that was one of my fantasies, so he should go ahead. After he did that, he set up a compulsion to make me tell him all my sexy ideas for punishments in real-time after I woke up.
Then he kept me under awhile and questioned me about some of my punishment ideas. I flushed as I remembered telling him about my bathroom humiliation fantasies. Then I told him how important it was to paddle me when I lost my temper, especially if I tried to start a fight. But Kevin wanted to know how to tell the difference between when I was just feeling bitchy and when I was ready to fight because I felt strongly about a serious disagreement. I answered that I'd always know the difference, so he modified my real-time compulsion to make me tell him everything that was emotionally important, including when I was feeling bitchy and when I was seriously upset about something. That sounded like pretty good control to me! It was clear I wasn't going to get away with any bratty behavior from now on, but Kevin was being very thoughtful about making sure I'd be able to express serious opinions forcefully.
I remembered the second special phrase I'd created, to disable my hypnotic key phrase so Kevin wouldn't be able to control me anymore, and I was extremely happy that I didn't have any need to use it. I smiled and snuggled back against Kevin's body as I waited to forget about it again until tomorrow night, and slowly drifted off to sleep.