Bill looked up at me and started laughing as he looked just over my shoulder and past me. I looked back and said, “Oh no, tell me mind job isn’t coming.”
I felt breath on my ear and her voice as she said, “No baby, mind job is standing right behind you. Do you like when I whisper in your ear?”
I turned and said, “Look nut case, I don’t like when you blow in my ear, I don’t like your love notes, the flowers at work or anything else you do. We are exact opposites. I mean look at you and look at me.”
She took off one of the fake flower wraps she had over her shoulder and threw it over my shoulder and then pulled it back to her like she was reeling in a fish on a fishing line. As she did this she said, “I am just reeling in my catch. He just doesn’t know he is caught yet. I will make you mine baby.”
People were staring now. In a crowded lunch place full of professionals the woman dressed in flowing garments and flower wraps stood out like a sore thumb. As the flowers went over my shoulder and she pulled them towards her we locked eyes momentarily. I suddenly felt like I was supposed to let the flowers lead me to her and I had to fight the urge to follow. But I regained my senses and said, “Please leave me alone.”
She kissed her finger, put her finger to my lips and said, “Someday I will kiss you. One kiss from my lips and you will fall completely under my power. One kiss will completely enslave you. But for now I will just dream about the day that happens.”
She blew a kiss and said, “Bye-bye for now lover.” Then she walked away.
Bill said, “Dude, you should hire a hit-man and have that woman killed or something. Why did she pick you? I mean you’re a good looking guy but like you said, you two are exact opposites.”
I said, “I know. Plus she is older than I am and I’m not really into older women either.”
Bill looked at me and said, “Okay, but how did you become the focus of crazy lady’s desires?”
I said, “I ordered a sandwich at her sandwich shop. I asked for a peanut butter sandwich with avocados and that was it. She ran around the counter, leaped into my arms and started kissing my neck. She went on and on about destiny and how we were meant for each other. I pushed her off me and she told me to just kiss her and it would all be over.”
Bill leaned in with genuine interest and said, “What do you mean all be over? And what does the sandwich have to do with it?”
I replied, “She insists that we are soul mates and that I was sent to her to be her slave. She says that one kiss and I will find it impossible to resist her commands. She says all she has to do is kiss me and I will be her slave for life.”
Bill laughed and said, “She is a mind job isn’t she? If that were true then why wouldn’t she just sneak up on you and smack one on the lips before you even knew what was happening?”
I said, “Ah Bill, now you know why we are friends. I asked her that question. She said I had to willingly kiss her and get this; I had to know what the kiss would mean to me when I kissed her.”
Bill said, “In other words she has to tell you the kiss will make you her slave and then you have to willingly kiss her. Does she make this stuff up or get it from some nut job book she reads?”
I said, “Beats me.”
For the most part the harassment became a regular occurrence at least once a week if not more often. I became accustomed to it and almost desensitized to it. And life went on.
We were having a fund raiser at work and a list of needed volunteers went out. They needed men and women to man the games booths, the dunk tank booths, management to go into the dunk tank booths and all sort of other responsibilities. Bill walked in with the flier and said, “I am either going to do the dunk booth or the kissing booth.”
I said, “I’ll take the dunk booth man. I’m not kissing a bunch of ugly women.”
Frances from human resources walked in and said, “Those ugly women might pay good money for your lips Jerry. I was just coming in to tell you we have had several request for both of you in the kissing booth. Come on guys, be good sports.”
Bill immediately said, “Count us both in.”
I looked at Bill and said, “Okay, but if mind job gets in line you kiss her.”
Bill said, “Come on Jer, you don’t really believe that crap. If she gets in line I am taking a bathroom break. You can kiss her, prove her wrong and start living your life. Or at least you can start eating lunch in peace.”
Frances said, “Who is mind job? You mean that hippy woman who keeps hitting on you? What does she have to do with the kissing booth?”
I shot Bill a look to keep his mouth shut but he ignored my non-verbal cues and said, “That crazy bitch thinks she can make Jerry her slave with just one kiss. I think Jerry believes her because he is afraid to kiss her.”
Frances said, “Then I wouldn’t kiss her if I were you. The subconscious is powerful. The Western world doesn’t give it enough credit. If she has you convinced that she can hypnotize you or mesmerize you or call it what you will, if she convinced you one kiss will do it then guess what. One kiss will do it. Bill, you take the kiss and save Jerry the trouble.”
She walked out and Bill said, “I think you and Frances should start wearing flowing garments and dancing around the lunch area with flowers. You’ve all lost your minds.” Then he walked out laughing.
A week later I had kissed hundreds of women and had brought in quite a bit of donations. Bill had done the same. I looked up and the moment I had been dreading all day was materializing right before my eyes. Mind job got into line and waved her five dollar bill at me. I looked over at Bill and said, “You’ve got her right?”
He said, “Yeah buddy, I’ve got your back.”
Then when she got to the front of the line he suddenly stood up and walked away. He did not say a word and just simply walked away as mind job approached the booth. I said, “It isn’t real. She can’t enslave you with a kiss. Just kiss the stupid bitch and thank her for her donation.”
She handed the booth keeper the five dollar bill and said, “I have waited for this moment for an eternity. Today you become mine forever.”
I kissed her for only three to four seconds and then pulled away. Triumphant I said, “Thank you for your donation.”
She smiled and said, “Thank you for your undying devotion. Come by my sandwich stand at five tonight so I can finish the job.”
I laughed and said, “Yeah right. You lost. Admit it.”
She smiled and said, “Okay baby, keep telling yourself that. Just don’t be surprised when you can’t fight the urge to come see me at five.”
The booth closed at four and my boss said I could go home for the day. I jumped into my car and drove off thinking I would not be anywhere around work when five o’clock rolled around. I got about halfway home when I realized I left my gym bag in my office so I quickly turned around and went back. I got on the elevator from the parking garage to the main lobby and then started for the main elevators. I looked at my watch. It was 4:55.
I thought, “I’m going to mess with this crazy lady. I am going to show up at 5 PM and act like I was compelled to obey her. Then I’m going to walk away laughing.”
I showed up right at five and jokingly said, “You were right. I couldn’t help myself. What strange power do you hold over me?”
She threw her flower wrap around me and began pulling it towards her. Then she said, “You think this is just a game don’t you. Kiss me. Look at my delicious lips and kiss me. Kiss me and obey.”
As she pulled the flower wrap I suddenly felt like there was nothing more in the world that I wanted than to be drawn to her so I could kiss her. I tried to tell myself this wasn’t real but her lips suddenly looked so inviting and I knew I wanted to kiss her and obey her. Then she said, “You made excuses in your mind for coming back and for coming here but all along you were drawn to me weren’t you?”
I shook my head no as I realized I was about to kiss her and become hers forever. But even as I shook my head no I answered, “Yes, I was drawn to you.”
She stopped pulling me so that my lips were just inches from her lips and said, “Then kiss me now and surrender your mind to me forever.”
There was no need to pull the flowers any further. I went willingly and kissed her lips. This kiss turned into a long passionate kiss and she embraced me in her arms at the same time. When the kiss ended she said, “Who do you belong to?”
I sunk to one knee and kissing the top of her hand I said, “I belong to you today and forever my queen.”
She said, “Very good. I told you this day would come but you never believed me and either did your friend Bill. Even when I showed up at his office and pulled out my necklace he said hypnosis was a crock of shit. His eyes followed the pendant the entire time and he said he did not believe in hypnosis or mind control even after he was deeply hypnotized. But I only needed him to get up and leave you sitting alone at the kissing booth so his role in your demise was minimal. You did it all by yourself. Now tell me what it is you desire.”
It felt as if I was no longer the person answering as I replied, “I wish to spend my days serving you and worshipping you. We are soul mates. I was sent to you to be yours. Please allow me to fulfill my destiny.”
She said, “Yes my slave. Arise and take me home with you so that you may properly serve me in the bedroom.”
I took her hand and as we walked to my car we walked by Frances. She smiled and said, “You two love birds have fun this weekend. I warned him but you were right; he didn’t believe me.”
My queen looked at Frances and said, “Oh but you’re wrong. Deep down inside he believed every word of it. Thanks for your help.”
Bill stepped out and took Frances by the arm. He had been avoiding her advances for years so when he took her by the arm and looked at her with love in his eyes I should have been surprised but I wasn’t. Frances confirmed my suspicions and said, “No, I owe you thanks. I have wanted Bill even longer than you have wanted Jerry.”
My queen said, “Yes, but the kissing booth was your idea so let us thank each other and have fun with our new slaves this weekend.”
Frances turned to Bill and said, “Come slave.”
Bill walked away following Frances as he said, “Yes mistress; as you wish.”
My queen took my arm and said, “Come slave.”
I followed right behind as I answered, “Yes my queen; as you wish.”