Elgin’s Rise
By Mr. J.
Chapter XI: End of the Road
The hallway reverbs with the click-click-click of Colleen’s heels as she walks through the empty corridor, feet sore and looking haggard. First she had to stay in class after school, then a heart to heart with the cheerleading coach only to find out that she’d been cut from the team. She glances at the giant poster of a skinny Indian couple on the wall, their creamy skin radiating as they gaze out, decked out in finery as the tiara rests comfortably on the girl’s head.
Colleen sighs forlornly. She curses her luck.
She fingers her earlobes. The week’s been anything but pleasant since she misplaced her earring. She loaned it to Tabitha, but only just for one night, so she could try her luck with her on-the-rocks boyfriend. Hasn’t shown up since, the thief. That no-good...she’ll get what’s coming to her eventually. Colleen will make sure of that.
She ducks into the bathroom. She splashes her face with water, wiping off the dirt, grime and sweat of what’s been an awful stretch for her.
Colleen doesn’t much care about the mascara smudged around her cheeks, or the odd pimple here or there. She just wants to get home and pop open a stiff one, slide into a nice hot bath and forget the rough patch even started.
“Hi.”
She startles, spinning on her heels.
“I thought you were dead.”
“No, I’m not dead.” Tracy flashes a smile. “Like my earrings? I got them the other day. I think the jade really brings out my eyes. You agree?” “How did you? But I thought you—“
“I cut myself bad, to be sure. Turns out I was doing it all wrong. Thank God for small miracles. Otherwise I wouldn’t be here to show you the error of your ways.”
Tracy tosses a tube of lipstick at Colleen. It rests by her heel.
“This some kind of joke?”
“No joke.” Tracy steadies the camcorder in her hand. “I just thought you needed a change, that’s all.”
“But I don’t wear anything this dark.”
“You will. Now strip.”
“I beg your pardon?”
Tracy fixes her gaze.
“I. Said. Strip.”
Colleen fights the urge to comply. Yet her hands gravitate towards her midriff, casting off her blouse as she slowly pulls it over her head.
“Please...don’t...”
“You must. Because deep down you want to, that’s why. On the outside you’re squeaky clean, but we both know you’re dirty and filthy. This cheerleader image you’ve made for yourself, it’s just a thinly veiled construct of what you really are: a Jezebel, a sociopath, a hollow, empty shell where a human being should be.”
Colleen hesitates as she grasps her skirt, clutching the waistband in her fingers.
“That’s...not...true...”
“As you remove your clothes, one by one that image of yourself will vanish. Don’t you want that? Don’t you want to embrace the truth? Know the truth, and the truth shall set you free. Don’t you want to be free?”
“The truth…shall set me free.”
The skirt drops to the floor, revealing heart-shaped panties.
“Everything?” Colleen’s eyes are pleading.
“Yes, even your underwear.”
The bra and panties slip off, revealing a busty chest and bald sex. Colleen blushes as she covers herself up.
“You have nothing to fear, Colleen. Now take the lipstick and write the following words over your cheeks, breasts, and stomach. Faggot. Cunt. Whore. Then look in the mirror and tell me what you see.”
“I see a bad person.”
“Why is she a bad person?”
“She’s a whore.”
“And why is she a whore?”
She is bad.”
“I see. Now take a wet paper towel and wipe those words off. What do you see?”
Colleen squints, surprised to see her reflection.
“I see...me.”
“What do you think of when you see yourself?”
“I think of someone...pretty, beautiful, happy.”
“You’re doing a great job. Now massage your breasts. How do you feel?”
I feel...goodddddd.” She moans.
Do you like to touch yourself?”
“Yesss...”
“Why do you like to touch yourself?”
“Because it makes me...feeeeellll...gooooodddd.”
“Can you think of anything else that makes you feel good?”
“Hankkkk...”
Colleen’s hands wander towards her stomach, picking at the lint in her belly button. She rubs them between her fingers before resting the digits just above her snatch, mesmerized by her arousal. Tracy coughs loudly, struggling to maintain her own composure in spite of her embarrassment.
“And who is this Hank?”
“Huh?”
“Stop touching yourself for a moment and think. I know this is difficult, but I want you to focus real hard. Who’s Hank?”
“He isssss...was my boyfriend.” Colleen shudders. “But I guess he’s not anymore.”
“And why is that?”
“He discovered me doing something baddddd...”
“Do you like to hurt him?”
“No. I love him. I would never do anything to him. I only want him to be happy.”
“Why did you do it then?”
Colleen stares into space.
“He had things I didn’t have. So I took them from him, and shared them with all my friends.”
“What kind of things, Colleen? Money, toys? Answer me.
“Everything...He lived in this nice fancy house, with parents who loved him, and I was stuck in this trailer with a dad who beat me and a mother who always told me I was nothing but a stupid little slut who’d never amount to anything. I was angry and jealous, and wanted those things for myself too.”
Colleen tears up.
“When he came along, he was special. I’d slept with a lot of boys, but he was the only one who didn’t seem to care what I was, or where I came from. But I guess I let my anger get in the way of our relationship. You were right to steal him from me, Tracy. I took him for granted, and now I have nothing. I’m sorry for all the things I did. You have to understand it wasn’t anything personal. You were just in the way. Mother was right. I am no good. I am a selfish little slut...”
“Turn around and look in my eyes, Colleen. You’re not a selfish little slut.”
“I’m not?”
Tracy pauses.
“What if I said you could have all those things you ever wanted, starting tomorrow, but you have to do exactly what I say. Are you willing to do that?”
Colleen nods.
“Then repeat after me. I, Colleen Hanna...”
“I, Colleen Hanna...”
“Do solemnly swear...”
“Do solemnly swear...”
“That from this day forward, I will not wallow in self-loathing or second guess myself. I will not abuse myself, and I will not abuse my friends, especially my boyfriend Hank, who I love dearly. I will not focus on the things I’ve done in the past. I will strive to improve myself daily in whatever I do. Finally, I will try to take things one day at a time, and remember where I come from, lest I forget how far I’ve come.”
Tracy wipes a tear from Colleen’s eye.
“Now when I snap my fingers, you’ll fall asleep. When you wake up tomorrow, you’ll feel a little foggy and disoriented. You will not remember my name. In fact, you will not remember I even exist. You will feel like a different person, because you are. Most importantly, you will remember the oath you have just taken. It will be the first thing you think of when you get up, and the last when you go to bed, for the rest of your long, happy life. Do you understand?”
Colleen’s body goes limp, slumping to the floor as Tracy snaps her fingers. She picks her erstwhile enemy up and places her in the nearest stall, locking it behind her. As she leaves, Tracy sheds a tear of her own, not just for Hank or Colleen, but what might have been.