Disclaimer: The following is a mostly autobiographical story told in a series of blog posts. Hope it’s enjoyed by most. Regardless it’s copyrighted to Dou7g, don’t post this without the authors permission. Send complaints and praise to Dou7g@yahoo.com
Crazzzzy Sarah. Saw her last weekend. Made me all kinds of happy, sad and crazy, in other words par for the course. Teaching right now, can't say much. Will say I was very glad to spend time with her. Will also say that she didn't sleep with me, and I bought her lunch and everything. I need a girl who isn't completely crazy and is beautiful and enjoys my company. I maybe SOL on this one.
p.s. the seven is silent
So for those in the know I'm an instructor for Kaplan, teaching GRE, GMAT and LSAT. Which means for the most part I spend my work day as the center of attention of very classy, very attractive women in thier mid 20's (Mostly) who are hanging on my every word. Now mind you, in the main, I would not have a shot with most/all of these women. Still, there are worse gigs.
Except, I kind of noticed one girl in particular, a beautiful redheaded jewess named Esther, seemed to share my sense of humour, interest in Latin and would play with her hair in class. Of course a girl playing with her hair can mean a variety of things, but to me it always means she digs me. Because they all do you know ;)
So I decide to ask her out, but I have to wait 4 weeks. Asking her out while I'm still her teacher can be problematic. You know, job wise.
So I wait 4 long weeks, planning, scheming and whatnot. I make sure to arrange she stays a little longer after class then the rest of the students, saying I want to talk to her about geometry or something, and so, after everyone's gone I ask her out.
To which she tells me she has an extremely jealous boyfriend, and she couldn't even go out with me platonically. Now I refrain from pointing out that I consider non physical friendships far from platonic (in the sense of an ideal form) and that I try to avoid those types of friendships with all due speed. I just smile and nod and leave, proud of myself for asking such a hottie, if naught else.
Then, much to my surprise, the girl emails me back the next day suggesting lunch.
Everybody confused yet?
So we arrange to have lunch, me frantically figuring on whether this is a just friends lunch or an I don't really have a boyfriend after all lunch.
Then she lets me know that she reconsidered going out with me after discovering I write fetish erotica, well I do, though I didn't know she would find that out.
Damn you google!
Or in this case, since it worked to my benefit "Yeah Google"
So that brings us to lunch, but I have to run and will continue this story in my next post...
So she comes to my class, and we're planning on lunch afterwards.
Since I'm a classy guy, I bring her a gift. Since I'm me, that gift is Spike vs Dracula #1, a comic book. Hey a first issue. When that's worth a million dollars in 10 years remember who gave that to you Esther ;)
So after class we rode in the decrepit old van to the Katella Deli, and it turns out she's nervous too. Yes, I'm admitting to being nervous. Very cute chicks on first dates do that to me. I actually asked if she'd mind if I held her hand. She did, and I could tell she was nervous too.
So at lunch she made me squirm by asking questions about old girlfriends, stuff she learned from my Livejournal and Myspace. Damn you online diaries!!
Then I made her squirm with a little psychological deconstruction, based on my skills of perception, perspicacity and genius intellect.
She bought lunch, charging it as a business expense. Very sexy that. I informed her that I rated my chances of seducing her at 70-30. She said that was probably overestimating things since she was on her menses. (My words, she just said biological factors beyond my control or influence)
She also told me that I should have contacted her earlier since her boyfriend was coming back on Monday from being out of town. Which was news to me, since among my friends we figured odds were she didn't even have a real boyfriend.
So I asked her back to my place to watch DVD's, (Fortunately I'd just bought a DVD player for this purpose, no not watching DVD's you fucks, for asking girls back to watch DVDs. Just about everything I do except for wrestling and chess has a final goal involving girls.) She agreed. Except for I then realized I was screwed. Of late, believing no sane girl will ever return to my place I've taken to decorating the place mainly, in photo's from Playboy's Vixens magazine. Lots of beautiful naked, or scantily clad, women. I tried to convince her to return to her place instead, but to no avail. She told me later she didn't want me to know where she lived.
Now this isn't so bad, because I told her I only had a matress, no chairs. And she agreed to come back to watch with me anyway. So I went home, she followed, but I wasn't sure she was following. Had to call my friends to stave off a panic attack, worried I'd scared her away when I confessed the theme of my decor, I figured forewarned was better than just springing it all on her.
But she showed up at my place, snuggled up with me on my bed and we watched coupling. A great British T.V. show. I commenced my plans to seduce her, getting only a little snogging action for my efforts. But I just figured she was loyal to her boyfriend and this seduction thing takes time.
Then she asked me to go grab her the rest of her salad from lunch, then before I could get a chance to comply she pulled me to her and kissed me thoroughly. Also started humping my leg. She's like that sometimes. This sudden aggressiveness blew my mind. Then she composed herself and told me she wanted to watch my documentary on Chess, Kasparov vs Deep Blue. This girl definitely knows how to keep a guy off base.
So we watched that, made out some more and then she told me it was time to buy her dinner. Since I'm not one to just let some broad tell me what to do I said "Okay" and we got into her car (it's nicer than the decrepit old van) and we drove to Huntington Beach. Of course I did what she said she was super cute, a veritable vixen, and she'd already let me touch her breasts. I'm much more amenable at this point in the relationship.
At dinner, she encouraged me to buy her drinks. She had a rasberry smirnoff, and then told me I really wanted to get her an apple martini post haste. So I did. She became very affectionate, publicly. Started biting and kissings my hand and wrist. Then told me to take her home. But not to my place, her place in Redondo Beach. I was like, how would I get to work the next day. She told me that was my problem, I could always call a cab.
Now faced with this dilemma, my job or the hot girl? What to do?
Chose the girl? You betchya. And soon we were off, I was driving since she was buzzing, off to Redondo Beach. TO which, I'd heretofore never been to, oddly enough.
From there the usual things happened. There was sex, and a tub the size of New Jersey, foreplay involving Hydrogen Peroxide and Q-tips. However one things stands out.
Most of the people reading this, know I don't do the oral sex. Very vocal about this.
But since she'd had the tampon in, she was very dry. So she said the best way for her to get ready, was if I'd go down on her. But she was still, though barely, surfing the red tide. So I asked her if she was bleeding badly and she said "Well it's not like you're gonna lick the gaping hole that's bleeding." It's my #1 with