SIN  diary
M/f no sex

   “Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been two weeks since my last confession. My sins have been those of the flesh, I have felt sinful yearnings, I have let my brother touch those places that are supposed to be private, and I have touched myself in those same places in an effort to find pleasure.”
   “And did you find pleasure, my daughter? Were the touches the answer to your body’s wants? Or do you still seek to fulfill them?”
   “Oh Father, my body still cries out for things that I do not understand. Ever since my breasts have begun to fill and my periods have come I am consumed by desires and needs that I cannot meet. What it wants is sinful and I fear that I am helpless.”
   “Daughter, what you describe is normal in a girl your age. Your body is changing and preparing for the day when you will become a wife and mother. While answering these needs out of wedlock is a sin there are ways to reduce the seriousness of the sin in God’s eyes. If you truly cannot resist the desires he will understand. He doesn’t give us more than we can handle.”
   “What should I do Father? I cannot stand much more or I will burst.”
   “Well my child, there are things that you must not do. For instance, just what did you allow your brother to do to you?” Let us discuss the things that you must avoid and then maybe I can show you a safer path.”
   “ Father, I let him touch my breasts, kiss them, and suck on them like a child. I let him touch my cuny, he tried to stick his finger in it but it hurt too much. He offered to kiss it and make it feel better but I did not let him. Still he rubbed it and it did feel good. So good I didn’t want him to stop but we had to cause mom came home.”
   “ Have you  let any others touch you in this manner?”
   “ No, Father I have not. But I have often wished for it and have done it to myself.”
   “ And did it feel good when you did it?”
   “ Oh yes. Not as good as when he did it but still better than nothing. I’m just left wanting more though, almost like there’s more to be had and I want it.”
   “ Listen to me now. Touching yourself in that manner is only a minor sin and easily forgiven, letting your brother do such things to you is very serious. Indeed it risks your very soul, I beg and order you not to allow such things again. Some day when you are older and find your love you may allow such behavior and the church will forgive you if you do not wait for marriage but never with your brother and never just for fun with one who doesn’t  love you. Do you understand?”
   “Y yes I do Father. But what do I do about these feelings that are driving me wild, I cannot sleep, I think about them at school and the nuns have noticed that something is wrong, that my grades are falling. Father I need help.”
   “Well daughter there are things that will help. Come to my quarters after school and I will help you deal with your needs. I will show you a whole new world that will delight and amaze you. You will learn how to answer your young body’s cravings. However what I teach you must remain under the seal of the confessional for all time. You can never tell anybody of it. To do so will condemn you to hell for all time so think carefully first.”
   “ I must have relief and will do anything Father. I will be there at three thirty.”
   “ Fine then. I will call your parents and let them know and I’ll give you a ride home after.  Bless you my daughter. I will not give you any penance for now because you have come to seek my help and because God understands the needs of young girls. After all he made them and he in his wisdom has given his servants the means to meet them. His ways are wondrous. Go now and I will see you later”
   “ Thank  you Father, I will.”