	     How to kill a South Dakota Eel
	       Donated by: Optomist Prime

  Little Johnny was twelve years old and like other boys his age, rather
curious.  He has been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys and he
wondered how it was done.  One day he took his question to his mother who
become rather flustered.  Instead of explaining Johnny, she told him to hide
behind the curtains and watch his older sister and her boyfriend.  This he did.

  The following morning, Johnny described everything to his mother.

  "Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off both of
the lights and he started kissing and hugging her.  I figure Sis must be
getting sick, because her face started looking funny.  He must have thought so
too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just like a
doctor would expect.  He's not as smart as a doctor, because he seemed to have
trouble finding her heart.

  I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started
panting and getting all out of breath.	His other hand must have been getting
cold, because he put it under her skirt.  About this time, Sis got worse and
began to moan and sigh and skirm around and slide down to the end of the couch.
This is when the fever started.  I know it was a fever because Sis told him she
was really hot.

  Finally I found out what was making him sick.  A big eel had gotten inside of
him somehow.  It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, ten inches long.
HONEST!!!  Anyway, he grabbed in one hand to keep it from getting away.  When
Sis saw it, she really got scared.  Her eyes got big and her mouth fell open
and she started calling out to god, and stuff like that.  Anyway, Sis got brave
and tried to kill the eel by biting his head off.  All of a sudden she made a
noise and let the eel go.  I guess it bit her back...

  Then she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle
out of his pocket and slipped it over the eels head, to keep it from biting
again.

  Sis lay back and spread her legs, so she could get a scissor lock on it and
he helped by laying on top with the eel.  The eel put up a hell of a fight.
Sis started groaning and squealing, and her boyfriend almost upset the couch.
I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them.

  After a while, they both quit moving and gave a sigh.  Her boyfriend got up
and sure enough they had killed the eel.  I know it was dead because it just
hung limp and some of its insides were hanging out.  Sis and her boyfriend were
a little tired from the battle but they went back to courting anyways.	He
started hugging and kissing her again, and by golly, the eel wasn't dead.  He
jumped straight up and started fighting again.	I guess eels are like cats,
they have nine lives or something.

  This time Sis jumped up and tried to kill the eel by sitting on it.  After a
35 minute struggle they finally killed the eel.  I knew it was dead this time
because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel the skin off it and flush it down the
toilet!"

		      THE END


