			What NOT to Name Your Dog

  Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy." I call mine "Sex".

  Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me.  When I went to City Hall to renew
his license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex.  He said,
"I'd like to have one too." Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said, "I don't
care what she looks like." Then I said, "You don't undertand.  I've had Sex
since I was nine years old." He said, "You must have been quite a kid!"

  When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me.	I told
the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for
Sex.  He said that every room in the place was for sex.  I said, "You don't
understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too."

  One day I entered Sex in a contest but before the competition began, the dog
ran away.  Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking
around.  I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest.  He told me that I
should have sold tickets.  "But you don't understand," I said.  "I had hoped to
have Sex on TV." He called me a show-off.

  When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the
dog.  I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "Me
too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me.  He said, "Me too."

  Last night, Sex ran off again.  I spent hours looking around town for him.  A
cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in
the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex." My case comes up Friday.


