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Ok, I give up, just fuck me like a whore (MF)
by Law School Graduate

**********

OK - I have been trying to meet a "nice" guy for quite a while 
now, using both traditional methods (set-ups through friends, the 
bar scene, work, etc.) and non-traditional (i.e., internet 
dating), and have had abysmal results. By "nice", I don't mean a 
bible-thumping, republican, up-tight putz who could make a diamond 
out of a lump of coal planted firmly up his a-hole. I mean a guy 
who is capable of having a decent conversation that doesn't center 
around the size of his cock; who is aware of the world around him; 
who is respectful of people and animals; who doesn't clip his 
fucking fingernails on the train; who makes me laugh; who parties 
like a rock star when he has the time; and who can fuck me like a 
champ after checking his hang-ups at the door. Someone with a 
brain. A sense of humor. A job. I'm a busy, successful, attractive 
woman with a professional degree and a great circle of friends. I 
have a life. What I don't have, however, is a lot of time to wade 
through a bunch of bullshit. If you just want to get laid, fine; 
just say that up front so I can move on. Don't make me waste my 
time exchanging e-mails for days, then stop writing after I don't 
want to answer the "money" questions after knowing you for 3.5 
hours, like 1) what's the craziest sex you've ever had? 2) how 
often do you masturbate? 3) do you have a nice, clean ass, with 
clean ass odor? (I couldn't make that up) and 4) do you like oral? 
(DUH??!!?? WHO DOESN'T??) Apparently, no matter how pretty, sexy, 
funny, smart, successful, sweet, caring, interesting etc. I am, it 
all boils down to one thing: fucking. Fine. I give up. You want to 
fuck? I can fuck. 

WANTED: a guy to pull out his big, thick cock within five seconds 
of our first meeting. I want to kneel at your feet and worship you 
(and your organ) like a greek god. I will take your throbbing 
love-stick in my mouth and service you like a pro. I will lick the 
head of your penis, concentrating on the sensitive spot underneath 
the head, where it meets the shaft. I will then take you fully 
into my mouth, and move my head all the way down, swallowing the 
entire length. When you're all the way in and I'm fighting not to 
gag, I will move all the way back to the tip, then repeat. I will 
continue, up and down, until I feel that you're about to cum; then 
I'll stop, lick my way down to your balls, and take take them both 
in my mouth while stroking your cock with my hand. I will then 
move around to your back, spread the cheeks of your ass and rim 
your asshole with my tongue while stroking your cock. I'll shove a 
finger or two up there, if you like. 

Once you're good and hard, I'll let you eat my pussy for a while, 
preferably until I cum two or three times. A little rimming of 
your own would be nice. Attention can be paid to my breasts (which 
are D-cups, by the way), or I can pinch my nipples myself. Once my 
juices are flowing, you can proceed to the fucking. Shove your 
cock in me, hard, all the way in. The harder the better, and if 
you're hung like a horse, my prayers have been answered. Keep 
going. Don't worry about me; I will make myself cum again on my 
own, either with old-fashioned diddling or my trusty vibrator. My 
ass needs attention, too, don't forget-I'm a three-input kinda 
girl! After you've made me cum fucking me the old-fashioned way, 
slowly (and gently, please!) push your huge dick up my ass. Use 
lots of astro-glide. I will be a little hesitant at first, but 
then the yummy pleasure-mixed-with-pain will start to kick in, and 
I'll get really into it. I'll start shoving my ass back against 
your cock as hard as I can, until I explode with the hardest 
orgasm yet. At this point, if you feel like getting your freak on, 
we can pop in a porno and emulate whatever is happening on the 
screen. Or, I can pull out my cache of sex toys. You can have me 
straddle an enormous uber-cock and work as much of it into my 
vagina as I can take, while you get in on the action by fucking me 
up the ass. You want a threesome? No problem. I'll invite one of 
my crazy girlfriends over, and you can watch me eat her out while 
you masturbate. Or, she can sit on my face while you fuck me. 
Another option is you banging me from behind while I lick her 
pussy. The possibilities are endless, really. 

Once that's over, feel free to pull out and cum on my ass / tits / 
face / mouth / whatever. 

See, I do have what you want! Don't tell ME law school was all for 
naught. . . 

