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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} Review 020 Incompatibility by A Strange Geek 
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Review 020 Incompatibility by A Strange Geek


Storyline

<Brief outline only>

ASG's own Summary:

----------------------------------------------------------------
Synopsis: A starship on a routine exploration mission is
suddenly stopped and seized by alien forces. A teenage girl faces the
frightening possibility that these aliens are of the one most
feared race in the galaxy, and that she is their next
victim. NOTE: The ending of this story is DARK. Don't read if
you don't like that. There is not a whole lot of sex in this story,
but there is some. Codes:Ff ScFi non-con mc solo
----------------------------------------------------------------


Merits

<What was worthy of comment>

A delightful if slightly dark tale about the human condition,
as (IMHO) all good mind control writing is. Using a teenaged
protagonist and writing in the first person manages to underline
this point nicely.

Excerpt

<I sighed as I ran my fingers through my ginger-colored hair. I
was getting tired of this. I was sixteen and skittish about being
nude in private. I hadn't even yet dated a boy. All because of my
damn mother's precious work.>


Sarah is a nicely rounded teenager (TIC). For example the fact
that she never names her Mom, or thinks of her in anything other
than derogatory or possessive terms is typical of the species.
Well written and paced.


Demerits

<What detracted from the story>

Very little, I felt the introduction was a little less polished
than the rest of the story. Always difficult when nothing really
happens until a plot moment. Once that happened, the slight
hesitation disappeared.

Excerpt (example)

<The ship was old. There was always this heavy thrumming noise
when we were still in hyperspace. I overheard my Dad say that the
hypermotors needed to be repolarized. Anyway, the point was, I
should be hearing them, but I wasn't. We weren't supposed to get
to the Polaris 4 stargate for another two days.

I slipped out of bed. My nightgown caught and tried to pull up
over my hips. I yanked it down with a flare of heat to my cheeks
even though I was alone and I had at least panties on under it.
Who was I afraid was going to see me?>

It is the second paragraph that rankles, something about the
whole description is too stiff - maybe to formal? I think my
unease revolves around the second line, it's a bit clunky as
compared to the rest of the text.

(This may well be an example of a device being used. The idea
maybe to make us feel the uncertainty that Sarah has at the start
of the story. If it is, it is maybe a little too heavy handed.)

Atmosphere <How well evolved was the environment>
Marks out of  20

<18>

Read it and experience, for me the story has images that are
reminiscent of the best of Alien. I don't know if ASG is a Foster
fan, but it would not surprise me. How much I filled in from the
suggestions in the story-line I can't hazard a guess at, but this
seemed a very familiar space ship.

The Velqui are described in just enough detail to allow the reader
scope to fill in the detail. Well done indeed.

Excerpt:

<The ship lurched again, and we both tumbled to the floor. There
was a horrible metallic rending sound in the distance that
reverberated through the ship.

Suddenly everything around us turned crimson and the klaxon began
blaring.

"ALERT ALERT ALERT... HULL BREACH... FOREIGN BIOHAZARD SUBSTANCE
OR NANOTECH DETECTED IN ENVIRONMENT... "

I scrambled to my feet. "Mom! We have to get to a life pod! Mom?
MOM!">


Workflow

<How well did the story progress and develop>
Marks out of  20

<16>

My comments about the start of the story are my only issue. The
rest of the plot runs smoothly and to a fine conclusion. The
'flight' from the Velqui is a strong point for me, classic 'I
know - I'll hide in the wardrobe' but updated.

Eroticism

<Just how erotic a read is this (erotic, not sexy!)>
Marks out of  20

<17>

ASG has a way of creating imagery which is very seductive.
Although sex is key to the premise, it does not dominate the
action as it may have done with a less accomplished writer.
When it does arise it is highly charged.

Excerpt

<I drew in my breath and let it go as a soft, sensuous sigh. My
skin flushed hot. My nipples hardened and rose to points,
tingling like mad. Heat and moisture gathered in my pussy. My
breathing became a languid pant.>


Mechanics

<The boring bit, grammar, typo's etc.>
Marks out of 20

<20>

I'm sure they were there, but as a reader I became so involved
I did not notice them. Praise indeed, it would be churlish to go
and look for them now so - perfect.

Impression

<What did I feel having read the story, did I want to read
more?>

<18>

Marks out of 20

This is always difficult, I like ASG's writing and I am always
going to read him. I am objective in the reviews and apply
the same rules to all stories. This is just a well written story
that is good, it also happens to be the kind of thing I choose
to read. Read it, even if it is not your genre, I would be
amazed if you disagree.


Total score

89 Yotties out of 100.



Readability guide     00-19 must try harder.
                           20-39 needs development
                           40-59 readable
                           60-79 good read
                           80-99 should read
                           100 reserved for my stories :-)

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