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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} Review 010 The House at the End of the Street by A Strange Geek
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Review 010 The House at the End of the Street by A Strange Geek



Storyline

<Brief outline only>

ASG's Summary: 4 teens find a mysterious house that can grant
them great power. Will they lose themselves in sexual revelry, or
will they turn from the darkness in time? Or does the house
itself have an agenda ...



Merits

<What was worthy of comment>

I am a self-confessed fan of ASG so I will rail this bit in a bit
:-)

The characterisation in this story is first class, and either
extremely well observed (or well remembered) teenaged angst. Each
of the persona's introduced fleshes out wonderfully. The feeling
of awe and wonder at the discovery of sexuality is finely
portrayed, and for me divorces any concern over the ages of the
protagonists. Partly this is a 'rites of passage' story, but it
is much more. The house provides a very real entity, and
functions well as a cipher for the mind control that occurs
within its walls. The story develops with good pace, and unfolds
into the history/future of Haven in a very smooth transition.

Demerits

<What detracted from the story>

Not much, but I did feel a balance problem. The story pivots
around the ninth and tenth chapters. Prior to this fulcrum the
story concentrates on the sexual adventures of our young friends
as they visit and revisit the house. After the balance point the
story of the house unfolds more, giving us an insight and finally
an understanding of the events in the house. The problem that this
gives us is that the beginning can become a little repetitive,
and too sex laden (rarely but at times). The story when it is
tolds unfolds nicely, but it could be more spread throughout the
text, maybe with more asides and clues (for the reader, not the
protagonists) earlier on. It occurred to me that some
illumination of what was happening in the house between visits
could have done this effectively and paced the action a little
more easily.


Atmosphere

<How well evolved was the environment> Marks out of  20

<20>

I really cannot fault this, superbly detailed and described in a
very comfortable style.

Workflow

<How well did the story progress and develop> Marks out of  20

<15>

Here are where my concerns crop up, as written the lead in is a
little protracted. For a long time (almost half the story) the
reader is kept at arms length. Some could get frustrated by this
(not sexually but intellectually). The ending is very well
conceived.

Eroticism

<Just how erotic a read is this (erotic, not sexy!)> Marks out of
20

<17>

Well yes, it is both a sexual and an erotic read, an unusual
combination to pull off (pun intended). Damn good sex, with fine
'substance' to it.

Mechanics

<The boring bit, grammar, typo's etc.> Marks out of 20

<17>

Really this is very impressive. I think ASG self edits - that is
a *very* difficult task. There are a couple of things that have
slipped through the first one an unintentionally amusing image.

<Melinda was quite happy to awaken and find her sister's bed
already absent, enabling her to go about her morning ablutions
without Heather whining about making too much noise.>

Well absentee beds - whatever next?

<It had to be her mother that wanted it, and now when she found
she didn't like it as much as she thought, she was trying to
blame Richie.>

That is a bit muddled and unclear - very unusual for ASG.

It does show the biggest problem in self editing - your own eye
can read what you should have written rather than what you did. I
think a read through by a proofer may help this.

Impression

<What did I feel having read the story, did I want to read more?>
Marks out of 20

<17>

Very drawn into the world of Haven, just as ASG would like his
reader to be. Having all the theme of the story towards the end
does slow the pace, and makes heavier work of it than need be.
But the overall feeling: intrigued, interested and a little
reassured (maybe) about human potential.

Total score

86 Yotties out of 100.

Readability guide     00-20 must try harder.
                            20-40 needsdevelopment
                            40-60 readable
                            60-80 good read
                            80-99 should read
                            100 reserved for my stories :-)

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-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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