And maybe a nat'l restaurant chain: Cafe Crush? Tuesday, 06-Jan-98 01:16:57

152.163.197.241 writes:

I Looove the club idea. And speaking of clubs. . Just dreaming here. . .

What about opening a restaurant, and calling it something like the CAFE CRUSH? A whole chain of them across the country. "Come to the CAFE CRUSH, where the Ladies may eat, drink, and dance for free!

In the hip, Hard Rock Cafe-like dining section the waitresses take your order, and then ask: "Heels? (Open-toed or closed?) Flats? (Sneakers? Sandals? Other?) or Barefoot? (With or without toenail polish?)" When they bring out your food, they place it on the table in front of you, then placing one foot on your leg, they step up on the table and onto your plate-- where they smash and smear your food underfoot to your satisfaction. (Two little footnotes here: You may only ask a waitress to crush your food continuously for up to a minute-- after that, there's a minute by minute charge tacked on. ALSO, you're allowed to ask other female patrons dining around you to crush your food instead. If a lady patron consents, it's unspoken common courtesy that you pay for her husband/boyfriend/date's meal.)

As far as the dancing, the dance floor is shaped like a giant horseshoe, narrow and curved. It's got a railing (for safety) and barstools all around it, and the dancefloor itself comes up to chest level. It's perfectly acceptable, even expected, that any woman up there dancing may (and should) step on a male patron's fingers that happen to be lying in her path there along the edge of the dancefloor. (Two footnotes here: Any woman seen sidestepping anyone's fingers will be asked to pay for her meal and/or drinks, and leave. Also, any male stepping on another male's fingers without first getting his consent must pay the man's bar tab.)

In the bar area, there's lower level seating next to the bar area. It's commonly accepted all women should sit next to the railing separating the two levels, with their backs to the railing, and should smash any fingers getting under their feet.

Friday and Saturday nights, there are Human doormats as you enter (all lady patrons are encouraged to use the human doormats for wiping their feet, trying out their new heels, etc. All male patrons using the human doormats will be tossed out, never to return, if they step on the doormat without first getting his consent). You can sign up to be a voluntary human doormat by adding your name to a list, over by the bar.

And there are also exciting contests every Friday and Saturday night. Like maybe a week's worth of free beer to the man who can handle the most women standing on his body-- all at the same time-- for one minute or longer. And, the a week's worth of free meals to the man who can handle the longest line of women stepping on his face as they circle (he cries uncle when he's had enough)--two seperate contests: one barefoot, one for shoes. And the great thing about these contests is the Contest Suggestion Box there by the bar. Any given week the contests could vary-- with maybe two contests being standard from week to week.

And two other great things: The lady patrons gladly participate, and video camera's ARE permitted.

I could enjoy working/visiting/living at such an establishment. Could you?

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