TruckGirl - 5 True Tales
20-Jul-98 11:35:31

OK, I got the details that I needed this morning, so here are the promised true tales that have taken place over the past few weeks.

As we know, the cast of characters includes TruckGirl, her daughter of 16 1/2 yrs, her big Chevy truck, and many flattened things!!!

Story #1: In this case it's the Daughter's actions that are atypical of a 16 yr old! Mom is backing up the fully loaded Chevy up to one of the barns to unload an entire bedful of hay bales. This hay ain't light, folks!! The Daughter, let's call her "Diane", is motioing mom back down the little path to the barn doors. As TG slowly backs up she notices Diane sort of get a curious look on her face and then begin to wince a little bit, but keep on motioning her back! TG hollers "don't worry, I'm not going to back over you!" Diane says "it's not that"! "Then what is it?" Diane says "you just killed 'Fluffy' "! TG gets out of the truck and looks down to see 'Fluffy' crushed by the rear wheel of the truck! Diane says "Wow, mom, you really smushed him good, look how where the tire went!" The former Fluffy had been laying down perpendicular to the tire's path and was flat across his middle. So they unloaded the hay and drove off over Fluffy again and went to the house and told the brother to grab a shovel and that he had burial detail! Now here' s the part I waited for, it was a week before TG could ask Diane about the incident, and she started teasing her about not stopping her from backing over Fluffy. Diane just turned beet-red and turned away totally embarrassed. So there we have it, her curiosity got the best of her and she let mom back over the Fluffster while she watched it happen! We were pretty surprised, but glad to report it to readers here! Diane has no access to the net and of course has never heard of crushing or trampling or anything, and her mom has no intention of telling her!

Story #2: Also a Diane story which occurred a day before story 1. At the TG farm is an equipement bldg built to hold combines! Now, I fly a desk not a John Deere, so in laymen's terms it's explained to me that the bay can hold 4 pickup trucks abreast and there is a humungous garage door on the front of the building! It is so well balanced that it will stay where you stop it and in order to close it you must step into a foothold and "ride it down"! That night Diane was closing all the doors and jumped up and rode the door down and later told mom, as verbatim as far as she can remember "The door slammed down and I heard this big 'crrrrrunch'! I knew that wasn't a good sign at all!" She went and got some car keys and aimed the headlights at the bldg and 'Ralphie' could be seen. The crunch she had heard was his skull being crushed under the huge door and her weight riding it down! Her only reaction was to say how loud the crunch was and that surprised her, and of course to notify the brother of burial detail! (This poor guy gets all the grunt work!) So, in a matter of two days they lost 2 of their cats as direct and indirect results of Diane's actions! But they have over 20 cruising the farm for mousing purposes!

Story #3: TG has learned that in certain parts of Indiana that it is raccoon mating season and that these raccoons are sluttier than grouppies at an "old" Van Halen concert when David Lee Roth was around, and that they will do it anywhere! To that end, she was on her way home from work and rounded a curve in the road and right there were two raccoons going at it! She didn't have to even swerve and they were run over by both driver's side tires! She looked back and could see they had died in passionate bliss! She watched as the following vehicle also ran them over but could not tell if a woman was driving! She said two raccoons doing it "raccoon style" were big enough to actually 'feel' since most things crush so completely under the truck that she feels nothing!

Story #4: The Cord of Wood Trip. TG was returning from the "back 40" with a load of wood when she spied a mother raccon and 4 babies in the grass of a field. Naturally a brood so close to the other animals on the farm is unacceptable and she slowly rolled over them with the loaded truck! She said she stopped and got out to look at the damage, which was first for her since she usually just keeps going! She also said she felt no resistance or bump ans the wheels passed over them. She said they were visisbly flattened and the mom was crushed across all ther midsection! She got back into her truck and backed over them again and continued on her way! Luckily, the brother was not called for burial detail!!

Story #5: In this story, which is about 5 months old, TG puts her boots to extremely deadly use on a good male friend of hers! These are old cowboy boots with a very hard heel. I can't quite picture this in my mind, so I don't know how it will translate to print, but imagine of 4-rail fence first off. TG is on the top rail watching horses and notices "Norton's" fingers on the second rail. When you dismount a small fence it's common practice to swing from the top rail and bounce off the 2nd rail and then to the ground! So, TG swung off and landed on Norton's fingers with her boot heel and then jumped to the ground! Her feeling was a close friend would never believe it was on purpose! (Editor's Note: Wow!) He of course yelped LOUDLY and she said "what?" He said you landed on my fingers!!! She said "oh, shit, I'm sorry, let me see them" They were cut and one was getting puffy already and she dragged him immediately to the first aid tent! The EMT said that one looks broken, what happend! TG said she just spoke right up and said "I jumped on them accidentally with my boot heels getting off a fence!" The EMT just said "oh"... a man of many words! A trip to the ER revealed two breaks in one finger, but complete recovery! He got a splint on his finger. Now, he always embarrasses her in a crowd by ragging her about her 'clumsiness'! If you only knew how clumsy she REALLY was, Norton!!!

Well, that's it! Hope you enjoyed them! Please pray for me, she's coming over to visit, drink, and trample... and maybe some inanimate crushing for video too! We'll see.... it sucks to "work" when you just want to hang out and chat and drink!

BZHeels