Fallen Angel
Chapter 3
 "Sian Moc," I said softly, waking her up.  An image of 
her ravaged body came to mind as I contrasted it with 
her beautiful face I looked upon, that was unmarred. 
What would compel a human being to do that to another 
person, of any ethnic origin?  The VC, with their 
senseless cruelty, had preyed upon eleven beautiful 
young girls for their own pleasure.  Bringing them here 
from who knows what province, simply because their 
fathers were not Vietnamese and abused them beyond my 
comprehension. 
I felt that I understood more about her now.  I watched 
as she arose, making her bedroll, concealing the shame 
that must have eaten away at her heart.  She seemed 
different, after having released the anger I had seen 
in her just two hours ago.  Her demeanor had changed to 
one of serenity, but there remained a certain timorous 
appearance about her.  I couldn't help but feel pity. 
"Brine and Sian Moc ready?"  Phon asks, having placed 
his pack over his shoulder. 
I reached down, offering my hand to Sian Moc. 
Hesitantly, she looked at my hand and then took it as I 
helped her up, never looking into my face. 
We began our trek back to the Da Fu River and at first 
with each step, I contemplated every possible scenario 
that might help keep us alive.  I didn't want to lose 
another person at any cost, however, I knew it would be 
near impossible to control every situation. 
Phon took the lead as I followed in the rear, keeping 
my eyes open for possible surprises.  We walked along 
the opposite side of the creek that seemed more 
difficult to travel, not wanting to retrace our steps 
for security precautions.  Traveling at night, with the 
help of the moon was our only option, knowing that the 
VC could possibly be nearby.  I knew how serious 
they would take their women suddenly missing, and I 
would do everything not to be caught.  I knew 
somehow I had to get my hands on other weapons besides 
the 38 I was carrying, which would be useless against a 
Chinese SKS sniper rifle or a Russian AK-47 assault
 rifle.  I felt almost naked and needed more firepower for 
fear that we would be overpowered.  
Week 3-Day 4

We had traveled most of the night, about six miles, 
without much light from the moon, making it more 
difficult.  A large boulder blocked our path along the 
creek bed, diverting us up a steep bank.  Phon had 
easily made it up the fifteen feet and Sian Moc had to 
struggle, sliding down each time she was near the top 
of the ridge. 
"Phon, give her a hand," I said. 
He turned his head ignoring me as if he didn't hear. 
"Phon, help her!"  I said, raising my voice. 
Again, he acted as if he didn't hear me; causing me to 
think he wanted nothing to do with her.  Maybe he felt 
as most Vietnamese, and abandoned those who were not of 
pure Vietnamese blood.  I wasn't going to judge his 
motives, having faults of my own, many probably worst.  
I climbed up beside her and took hold of a limb that 
was hanging and took her arm, pulling her up.  Phon had 
walked a few meters ahead, avoiding any words I might 
have to say.  In return, I ignored his response and 
began walking as if nothing happened.  Sian Moc's 
expressions never change, as though she had anticipated 
being treated in this manner. 
Suddenly I realized how my feelings toward these people 
had changed in the past few days, and how I had hated 
them all.  Maybe it would take similar circumstances to 
change his mind.  However, I wouldn't want anything to 
happen to him. 
I held Sian Moc's hand, walking with her along the 
sloped ridge because of the unsure footing.  The leaves 
were slippery, making it difficult to walk sometimes.  
She grasped my hand tightly as we worked our way the 
few meters as the ridge gradually tapered to the creek 
bed.  I noticed Phon's unapproved expression as our 
hands remained clasped when we reached the creek bed.  
I didn't know why but she didn't let go and we 
continued walking that way for a while until I told 
Phon, we should rest a few minutes. 
"Sun be up soon.  Maybe we stop here short time.  I go 
look for good place to sleep." 
"Okay Phon.  We could use a long rest.  Be careful," I 
said as he walked on. 
A light misty rain had started and I dreaded getting 
wet.  I would be so glad to get home and enjoy the heat 
and air-conditioning in a comfortable home.  I had all 
but forgotten these comforts. 
I unrolled my poncho and pulled it over my head as I 
searched for a dry spot.  I found one at the base of a 
tree up the hill about ten meters.  I watched Sian Moc 
as she sat on a fallen tree, wrapped in a worn blanket 
that would absorb rain the longer it fell. 
"Sian Moc!"  I said, holding my poncho open for her to 
sit beside me out of the mist. 
She turned and looked at me, and then stood up walking 
up the hill toward me.  I opened it wider as she 
approached letting her know I was serious about us 
sharing my poncho.  Without any kind of expression on 
her face, she sat next to me as I wrapped my poncho 
around her body, only our faces showing.  I felt her 
trembling, being cold from the dampness.  I placed my 
arm around her waist, pulling her close to warm our 
bodies.  Surprisingly, she leaned her head on my 
shoulder, resting. 
I was staring over the creek and for some unknown 
reason I began speaking to her, knowing she couldn't 
understand anything I was saying. 
"I couldn't pretend to understand all of the horrors 
you've been through during your lifetime.  Oh, by the 
way, thank you for the candle.  All of you contributed 
so much to me when I was delirious for those two weeks. 
I owe my life to all of you.  As I was saying, I know 
you don't think so now, but you have a whole life ahead 
of you and it would be a shame to throw it away.  Think 
of all the people in this country that are disfigured 
in one way or another and go on with life the best they 
can.  You have nothing to be ashamed of and personally, 
I think it would be a waste.  You have a beautiful 
face, and smile if you could learn to show it more 
often.  I promise that no one will ever hurt you again 
as long as I am with you, I promise you that.  Just to 
let you know, I won't let them take us alive if it 
comes to that.  Like you, I wouldn't want to live 
knowing what they would do to me.  But, it won't come 
to that, I'll get in and out as quick as I can, and 
then we'll find all of you a safe place to live." 
I laughed to myself thinking, if I took all of them 
back to the states, wouldn't that draw attention. 
"What is so funny?"  She asked, shocking me. 
"What did you say?"  I asked, uncertain I heard her 
correctly. 
"I asked, what you thought was funny."  She replied, 
calmly. 
"You speak American!"  I stated. 
"No, I speak American English." 
"Where did you learn to speak it?" 
"I've spent most of my life in Bien Hoe going to 
school.  I worked in the American embassy for two years 
translating Vietnamese military forms into English." 
"Why did you wait until now to let me know you spoke 
English?" 
"I was afraid." 
"Afraid of what?  You must have known I would never 
hurt any of you." 
"Many times if the VC find out we speak English, they 
will torture and kill us.  They say we are spies." 
"Why did you wait until now?" 
 "Because I see now that you have a good heart and you 
have been good to the village people." 
"You all had a part in saving my life.  I owe it to the 
people of your village to help in any way I can," I 
explained, feeling obligated. 
"No, some would have left after they healed.  You 
different because you stayed to help my people." 
"You are," I stated, correcting her.  "You said, 'You 
different'.  It should be, 'You are different." 
"You are different," she said, and then smiled. 
"That's it, that's the same smile I was talking about!" 
I stated, smiling and placing my hand to her cheek. 
"I have not had much to smile about for two years." 
"Is that how long you have been here?" 
"Yes, I was visiting my family in Loc Ninh, not far 
from here when VC captured our bus and killed everyone 
but me and Kim Wae, my relative.  Colonel killed her 
when he found out she speak English." 
"Spoke English," I said correcting her again. 
"Do not make fun of me.  I will speak it well someday," 
she said. 
"I know you will.  I have faith in you," I said, 
pulling her tighter to me. 
We sat quietly for several minutes.  I was thinking of 
what to say and my mind wondered back to base camp.  I 
had imagined that they searched for us until there were 
no clues to our whereabouts. 
"Do you have a girl at home?"  She asked. 
"No." 
"You have many girls here." 
"What's that suppose to mean?" 
I saw Phon walking our way and when he was close I 
asked, "See anything?" 
"Many VC tracks.  They look for us.  They want girl 
back," he stated, looking at how we were sitting so 
close. 
"Phon, you know they will hunt everyone down.  Not just 
the girls."  I stated.  Thwarting any ideas, he might 
have about turning the girls over. 
"Yes.  The Colonel no give up searching.  We better 
stay here, getting light." 
"Do you want to share my poncho, to keep the rain off 
you?" 
"No, I see good place to sleep, under log, over there." 
"Then you don't think it safe to travel during the 
 day?" 
"No.  VC send many soldiers looking." 
"Well, it looks like we're stuck here for the day.  Let 's
 get some sleep." 
"Yes, Phon very tired.  I sleep long time," he replied, 
walking away. 
"Phon and the other men hold us responsible for the 
 VC," Sian Moc stated. 
"I think it goes much deeper than that.  I'm here only 
to fight a war, and I see things that shouldn't be, but 
I'm not the one to judge.  We have many of the same 
problems in the states." 
"What are you speaking of, Brian?" 
"Hey, you didn't call me Brine," I said, squeezing her. 
"Isn't that your name?" she asked, understanding my 
remark. 
"Your father, was he a French soldier?" 
"Oui," she joked. 
"Do you speak french too?" 
"No, just a few words," she answered, laughing. 
"Sian Moc, I know the Vietnamese people consider 
children with fathers other than Vietnamese, outcast," 
I said, explaining. 
"The Vietnamese people regard the family as the 
beginning and ending of life.  When young people get 
married and grow old, it is a custom for the children 
to care for them.  This war has changed many of the 
customs and they have lost many things they once 
valued." 
A torrential downpour began so I reached my hand out 
and dug a small trench above us, forcing the water to 
flow around where we were sitting.  I rolled out the 
raggedy blanket I slept on and invited Sian Moc to curl 
up with me.  I knew it was possible for the rain to 
remain steady for hours. 
"I should sleep alone," she stated, and turned to get 
out from under the poncho. 
I took her by the arm firmly to keep her from moving, 
and said, "Please, stay with me." 
"I will be fine.  Thank you for talking to me.  It has 
been a long time since I have talked about these 
things," she replied and tried to leave once again. 
I held her arm and leaned within inches of her face and 
repeated, "Please, I want you to stay with me, and then 
kissed her softly. 
"Uh," she groaned and tried to pull away as tears 
formed in her eyes. 
"Sian Moc, I have seen your body and I don't want you 
to be ashamed." 
I kissed her again, slipping my tongue between her 
lips, and gingerly traced her lips from one side to the 
other.  She continued her effort to pull away, but I 
held her close.  I began kissing her all about her face 
and she squirmed, turning her face from me, trying to 
discourage me from kissing her. 
"Don't.  Please don't.  You don't want me.  I am ugly," 
she said, and began crying. 
I placed my hands on her cheeks, holding her face 
steady, preventing her from turning her head. 
"Sian Moc, don't ever say that to me.  You are a 
beautiful and wonderful woman, and I want you so much.  
Do you want to make love to me?" 
"Yes, but I am afraid," she answered, her voice 
weakening. 
I put my arms around her and pulled her body to mine 
and said, "Don't be afraid." 
I kissed her cheek and the corner of her mouth, and 
placed my hand on her breast, causing her to take a 
deep breath and flinch. 
"Hey, don't be afraid," I said, speaking softly in her ear. 
The rain began pounding on my poncho, and the humidity 
was so thick it was hard to breathe.  With the lack of 
air movement, our body heat raised the temperature and 
we were becoming soaked in our own perspiration; her 
hair was sticking to her face and mine. 
I turned her head and kissed her mouth while holding 
her breast.  She began to weaken and no longer 
struggled.  Our heads held up the poncho as I used my 
hands to undo her top and slide it back over her 
shoulders.  Her body trembled in my hands as I sensed 
her fear.  My hands roamed her body, touching every 
bare spot, and caressing her scars with my fingertips.  
Her breathing, like mine, became heavier as I laid her 
down.  I removed my boots and flight suit, and lay 
naked beside her. 
She lay still as if she was unsure of her own feelings.  
Lying on my side, I caressed her moist body, kissed 
over her face, and then began removing her bottoms.  
With our bodies pressed together, the excitement within 
us heightened to the point our breathing was becoming 
difficult in the confined area.  I raised the corner 
allowing fresh air to enter, which allowed the rain to 
sprinkle our faces.  The icy droplets against our 
heated bodies caused us to gasp and we began laughing 
at one another.  This brief moment of laughter quickly 
relieved the tension we shared. 
I was unsure how she would react if I kissed her 
breasts, but I felt a strong desire to try.  While 
kissing her, my hands caressed her body, caressing each 
of her scars, getting her use to the fact they didn't 
bother me.  I began moving my mouth along her neck, 
kissing and licking her skin inch by inch, moving 
closer to each breast.  Her chest and stomach rapidly 
raised and lowered, stirring a sensation within me 
knowing she was excited by my touch.  I kissed around 
her breasts, finally licking over them and placing my 
mouth on one and began sucking.  Light screams and 
moans filled my ears as she placed her hands behind my 
head and pressed my mouth firmly to her breast. 
I slid my body up and began kissing her again allowing 
my hard prick to press against her.  We randomly gasp 
for air as our tongues mingled, not wanting to separate 
our mouths.  I wanted her now; so much my mind 
struggled to maintain self-control.  I sucked her 
tongue furiously and humped her, pressing my aching 
prick to her body, causing each lingering second to 
become increasingly tense. 
She felt my emotion and placed her fingers around my 
prick, and guided it into her.  Without hesitation, I 
thrust it deep, causing her to grunt. 
"Yes, I want you deep in me." 
Uncontrollably, I pushed faster and deeper, feeling 
pleasure differently than anything I had ever 
experienced.  Her small frame rocked with each thrust, 
jolting her body with intensity as I had lost control, 
desperately craving that moment of total pleasure. 
"Uh, uh, uh," she sounded with each thrust, wrapping 
her legs around my ass, attempting to hold me deep into 
her.  Her strength was no match, as her legs gave way 
with each withdraw and thrust.  I felt the sensation 
beginning to overcome me.  Seconds later, I was 
consumed in ecstasy; every nerve in my body numbed with 
pleasure.  She held me in, with her legs tightly 
wrapped around me.  We were soaked with perspiration 
caused by the heat and humidity locked in the confined 
area.  I tried to rise but she held our slippery bodies 
together with her legs around me.  I fell limp atop her 
gasping for air and then lifted the poncho, seeing 
daybreak. 
The rain was relentless as I felt it pounding my back 
through the poncho.  Finally, she released me, allowing 
me to sit up.  Rain trickled down my face and body from 
the center opening in the poncho.  I reached my hand up 
atop my head, repositioning the hood to stop the leaking 
as Sian Moc traced up and down my side with her 
palm, still not able to see me. 
"Brian?" 
I placed my hand over hers.  "Yes." 
She turned her hand clasping mine and remained silent. 
I was exhausted, flopping down beside her.  Seconds 
later, I fell asleep. 
_________________________________________

"Brine!  Brine!  I heard, waking up.  Phon was tapping 
on my poncho. 
The heavy rain had slowed to a drizzle as I poked my 
head from under the poncho. 
"We must hurry.  VC passed short time ago." 
I looked at my watch.  "Damn, 1500 hours!" 
He looked at me and then where Sian Moc laid, who was 
completely covered up and remained asleep. 
"Hurry, we must go!"  He stated, and then walked away. 
Teasingly, I pulled the poncho back, allowing the 
drizzle to awaken her, and getting a second look at her 
body.  Her eyes opened, grasping for the poncho to 
cover her.  I quickly took hold of her wrist, 
restraining her from doing so, and then straddled her 
body, blocking the light rain from hitting her face. 
"Please Brian," she said, feeling ashamed. 
"No!"  I replied, placing my palm on her breast, and 
began caressing it. 
She turned her face to one side, avoiding having to 
look into my eyes. 
"Sian Moc, look at me," I said as she slowly turned her 
head.  "There is nothing to be ashamed of," I continued 
saying, and then lowered my head between her breasts, 
kissing her, and then moving my mouth up to her lips 
and pressed my tongue into her mouth.  She wrapped her 
arms around my neck, putting her tongue in mine. 
_________________________________________
Quickly, we moved along the creek another two hours, 
reaching the point where we made the turn.  Still, 
there was no sign of the VC, since Phon had seen two of 
them pass while Sian Moc and I slept.  With just over 
two hours of daylight remaining, we hurried, traveling 
most of the same path we use before.  At this pace we 
should arrive just after sunset, insuring us the cover 
of darkness to carry out the strategy, I had planned. 
With a light fog, a misting rain and soft ground, 
everything was working my way.  We were able to move 
without making noise or being seen, unless we just 
stumbled upon them.  The closer we came to the village; 
I began seeing a change in Sian Moc's face, one of 
fear.  I held her hand the remaining time, reassuring 
her that I would be with her every second.  The rain 
had stopped and there were breaks in the clouds, 
allowing light from the moon to shine through, giving 
me a little hope of finding our way. 
We stopped short of entering the village and I told 
them of everything I wanted to mark on the map.  Each 
of them explained what they had seen and where they 
knew most of these places could be found.  We then 
circled the village and pressed south, where the VC 
site would be, about one kilometer from the village, 
along the river. 
I knew we had the element of surprise on our side 
because they would never expect anyone to sneak up on 
them.  This was evident when we spotted a fire just 
ahead.  We crept in a semi- circular path around it, 
counting three Vietnamese soldiers kneeling around it, 
talking and laughing.  I noticed their weapons stacked 
in the form of a tripod a few feet from them.  If 
possible, I would try and get them on the way out. 
In the distance, I heard the river, making me aware 
that we were close and should be extra careful.  We 
began crawling, moving in closer to the sound of 
voices.  
  
Week 3-Midnight-Day 4

"Soon, they will pull the bridge over the river," Phon 
whispered. 
"What bridge?"  I asked, seeing nothing indicating 
there was one. 
"Wait and see," he replied. 
We lay for an hour and suddenly, with the aid of the 
moon; I saw ropes coming up out of the river, extending 
from one side to the other.  A dozen men began 
uncovering a mound of logs stacked, held together by 
rope.  Tension on the ropes became tight as each of the 
logs was dragged into the river, giving them a platform 
to cross the river.  This took about an hour as we 
waited patiently to see who or what would cross. 
Someone began shouting as we saw many men coming out of 
a tunnel. 
"What's he saying?"  I asked either of them. 
"He say, quickly, quickly, you have 10 minutes to 
cross." 
I counted about sixty-two, a company of men, heavily 
armed and each carrying what appeared to be a fifty 
pound sack of rice, crossing over.  As the last man 
stepped onto the bridge, three small trucks from 
another cave, carrying what I assumed to be, rice and 
ammunition pulled up to it.  When the men neared the 
other side, the trucks began crossing; when one reached 
the far side, another would start. 
I crawled over, getting next to Phon, and ask him in 
whisper so Sian Moc couldn't hear, "That man, giving 
the orders, is that Colonel Shu?" 
He looked at me shaking his head, indicating yes. 
My mind raced, thinking of a way I could get to him 
without being seen.  Phon looked at me, seeing this in 
my eyes, placed his hand on my shoulder and shook his 
head, no. 
"Where do they go once they cross the other side?"  I 
asked, curiously. 
 "More caves on other side," Phon answered. 
"More caves?  I need to know exactly where," I stated 
anxiously. 
"No place to cross river," he replied. 
"There's got to be a way over," I said, pulling out my 
map.  I marked our location and exactly where the 
bridge was placed.  I guessed in meters at what 
position the caves were located and marked them on the 
map. 
"I have seen these caves.  They are on other side of 
that hill," she said, pointing across the river. 
"Sian Moc, come here," I said as she crawled to me.  
Barely visible I held the map in front of her. 
I pointed on the map our exact location.  "Can you see? 
This is where we are, can you show me exactly where the 
caves are?" 
"I cannot tell.  I don't understand how to read this 
map.  If we go across, I can show them to you." 
"Let's wait a while until I can figure this out."  I 
said, rolling over on my back, being frustrated. 
We waited a while and all the traffic had stopped 
crossing, but the bridge remained. 
"Why don't they pull the bridge back?  What are they 
waiting for?"  I asked myself aloud. 
"He say leave bridge out, more men come up trail soon 
and cross." 
I turned and looked around for a way to get to the 
bridge, seeing I could crawl down to the river and work 
my way up to it.  Then, I would have to lower myself 
into the river and pull my way across holding onto it. 
"Sian Moc, are you sure about the tunnels.  I mean, are 
you sure they are just on the other side of that hill?" 
"Yes, there are two caves for men and one that has many 
weapons." 
"Both of you wait here, and if they remove the bridge 
before I get back, I want you to go back to the others 
and wait for me.  If for some reason I don't return, 
take my compass and the map directly east, three and a 
half days to Firebase Beaver, right here on the map," I 
explained, pointing to it. 
"No, I must go with you.  You will never find the 
caves.  They are hidden too well," Sian Moc stated, 
excitedly. 
"No.  It's too dangerous.  I'll go alone," I said 
firmly. 
"Sian Moc right.  You not find cave.  You not find 
these caves if soldier not come out," Phon explained, 
making sense.  I rolled back over on my back, thinking. 
I realized my affection for her when I felt fear in 
letting her go with me, thinking something might happen 
and I might lose her.  Was I feeling this way about her 
because I am thousands of miles from home, alone in a 
world where there are no checks and balances and I 
control my own destiny?  When and if I reach 
civilization, will all that has changed in me revert to 
how I once was?  I was feeling just as much for Sian 
Moc as I do for Lin.  What the hell is wrong with me? 
I rolled back over looking at each of them.  "Okay, 
this is how it will be.  Sian Moc and I will cross 
over, if anything, anything, happens that we don't come 
back in, at the most, three hours, or if they pull the 
bridge first, you will get to the others and see that 
all of you get to Firebase Beaver.  Do you understand 
me Phon?"  I explained, as I wrote a note on the map, 
to whoever was in command of the base.  I also marked 
on the map where I guessed the caves to be on the other 
side. 
"Yes," he replied. 
"Take care Phon.  Are you ready Sian Moc?" 
"Yes." 
We began crawling down the hill when Phon said, "Sian 
Moc!" 
We stopped and turned to look at him. 
"Sian Moc, you are brave woman." 
She smiled at him, and then turned, we continued down 
the hill to the river and worked our way along side it 
until we were at the bridge.  I pulled my knife out of 
the sheath that I had slid down my boot and cut a 
portion of rope dangling from the bridge and tied one 
end to each of us. 
We slipped into the river on the upper side of the 
bridge, holding onto the rope that was strung along the 
side of it, and pulled ourselves along its length.  The 
current was pulling at us but we managed move very 
quickly.  The moon continued to shed light every so 
often, giving us some light to go by, but also gave the 
VC light, enough to keep us cautious. 
It took us about forty-five minutes to cross but we 
managed without incident.  We kept a distance from the 
path they had used.  The VC were clever and efficient 
in using this operation, always at night and so well 
organized, it could not be detected in the daylight.  I 
figured it was so efficient they knew everything was 
concealed and there was no point in having to guard it. 
We made it around the base of the hill, never seeing 
any lookouts; we maintained silence anyway to be safe. 
We worked our way another three hundred meters and Siam 
Moc stopped me, pointing to one of the entrances.  Phon 
was right; I would have walked by it without seeing 
anything.  It was so well concealed it could never have 
been spotted from the air. 
"That is where the weapons are stored," she whispered. 
"Okay, where is the other two?" 
"At the base of that ridge," she said pointing. 
These hills were formed in almost a horseshoe shape and 
covered so much area; a B-52 strike may or may not be 
totally effective.  I needed to know the exact 
locations. 
"Okay, show me," I said, taking her hand. 
There was no avoiding it; we had to wade through a 
marshy area that came up to our waste.  It took about 
thirty minutes to wade through and when we neared the 
other side, we heard voices and had to stop and wait in 
the water.  It sounded as if they were unloading a 
truck but that didn't matter at this point.  I was more 
concerned with the leaches I felt crawling over my 
legs.  After an hour had passed, I heard a door slam 
and the truck drove off.  I pulled us out of the marsh 
and I knew our lower bodies were covered with leaches.  
We stripped down to nothing and I began scraping them 
off of her, careful not to cut the skin.  We packed mud 
where I had removed them and I then scraped them off of 
me, cutting myself twice, and then packed mud on me. 
Leaches or no leaches, I had become aroused seeing her 
naked body and this was noticed by her when she saw my 
hard on. 
She smiled seeing it, and said, "You have an active 
mind." 
I turned being embarrassed, not expecting her to say 
anything like that.  She got up on her knees, pressed 
her body to mine, and said, "You have nothing to be 
ashamed." 
I wrapped my arms around her, kissing her until the 
embarrassment went away. 
"We need to hurry.  In one hour Phon will leave," I 
stated, as we hurriedly put our clothes back on. 
I looked around and got a fix on this location so I 
could find it on the map and we continued for twenty 
minutes and she pointed out the last cave.  We turned 
and walked back as I stepped off the distance between 
the two entrances.  Having completed what I came after 
we hurried back, again wading through the marsh.  Not 
having to sit still in it, we only had a couple leaches 
between us.  I removed them, packed the mud and we 
continued until reaching the river.  The bridge was in 
tact. 
The natural sounds of the river, added with the water 
splashing against the bridge drowned any noises we could 
make, but I heard shouting from the other side.  I 
could barely make out that there was some kind of 
movement on the other side. 
"Sian Moc, we're going to attempt to cross the same way 
we came, but if any troops begin to cross, we will have 
to turn loose and float a ways and then swim to the 
shore.  Will you be able to swim in this current?" 
"I am a very good swimmer." 
"Okay, we will only hold the rope this time.  What ever 
happens, don't turn loose.  Okay?" 
"Okay." 
"Let's go," I said as we waded in. 
As before, everything went well until I felt slack in 
the bridge.  There were no soldiers, and they began 
retracting the bridge. 
"Don't put your hand between the logs, hold on until I 
tell you to let go!"  I said.  She nodded yes. 
Because of the slack in the bridge, water was pounding 
against our heads.  We were about halfway when her arms 
gave out and she turned loose.  Instantly, I did the 
same, trying to keep an eye on her and remaining afloat 
was difficult, but I managed.  After thirty meters, I 
saw that she was swimming to the bank and I did the 
same.  I don't know what I was worried about; she 
seemed to be a better swimmer than me.  I pulled myself 
up the bank, just below her and rested a minute. 
She came over and sat next to me laughing.  "I was 
worried about you," she said. 
I caught a breath and said, "I was worried about me 
too," and laughed with her.  "We're forty-five minutes 
late, and I know Phon has left, but we need to check 
anyway." 
"Come on then, let's hurry," she said, pulling my arm, 
continuing with her giggling. 
Just as I suspected, he had left, however, that was 
good.  At least he did as I had told him.  We had an 
hour and a half before the sun rose, and that should 
give us time to get well beyond the village. 
We walked as fast as we could, given the light from the 
moon was not always on our side.  We neared the guard 
post and I saw that there was one that remained awake 
and the other two were lying next to the smoldering 
fire, sound asleep.  As we had gotten a ways past them, 
I knew this would be the best opportunity to get 
another weapon. 
"I want you to wait here until I get back.  I've got to 
do something before we return." 
She threw herself at my feet and began begging, "No, 
no, please don't leave!" 
"Sian Moc, I'm coming back," I said, kneeling with her. 
Throwing her arms around my neck, she began crying 
profusely, and saying, "No, no.  I don't want you to go 
back. 
I grasped her wrist, pulling them in front of me and 
said, "I have too.  I need those weapons for our 
protection.  I said this because she knew why I was 
going back. 
She leaned over leaning her head against my chest and 
continued crying.  I couldn't think of anything other 
than what I had said to convince her that I needed 
those weapons so I placed my arms around and just held 
her.  I stood, lifting her with me. 
"I'll be back soon," I said, turning her loose, and 
walking away.   
I approached the guard post and found the three, as 
they were when we passed earlier.  The two remained 
laying by the fire asleep and the other was sitting 
against a tree, carving on something with his knife.  
The ground was soft from the rain, making it less 
likely that I would be heard when I came up to him.  I 
walked slowly, hearing him humming a tune.  I had 
pulled my knife out of its sheath and continued 
creeping toward him from the rear.  I was within ten 
feet of him and froze, dropping to the ground, as he 
got up.  He turned and walked directly toward me as he 
began pulling his pants down.  I knew he was going to 
take a piss.  Not seeing me in the dark, he walked 
right up on me.  I jumped up and thrust my knife into 
his throat and then pulled it out, pulled his head back 
by his hair, and thrust it in again.  I continued 
holding him by his hair, letting him down to the ground 
easily. 
My hands were shaking and my heart was beating so fast 
I was panting short breaths to get enough air to 
breathe.  I turned and crept over to the others, 
picking up a football size boulder he had been sitting 
on next to the tree.  Slowly as I walked toward the 
other two, I raised the boulder and slammed it down on 
ones head, immediately I pulled my knife out as the 
other had awaken, and cut his throat before he could 
get up.  He lay, gurgling his own blood as I stood and 
collected two of the AK-47's and searched, finding four 
bandoleers holding clips, along with a water pouch.  
Knowing I didn't have time, and it probably wouldn't 
help hiding the bodies, I left them there. 
I ran with the weapons slung over my back, not having 
much time before sunrise. 
"Brian!"  Sian Moc said, running up and throwing her 
arms around me.  "Brian, Brian," she continued saying. 
"I'm here now.  Let's hurry, we don't have much time," 
I said, taking her by the hand.  We walked quickly 
until there was full light and stopped to rest.  We 
were about three kilometers from the creek, not far 
enough along to suit me.  I knew when the bodies were 
found they would send out every man available to hunt 
us down, maybe fifty or a hundred, I wasn't sure.  I 
was now willing to take a risk and travel during 
daylight.  After we had rested fifteen minutes, I took 
her hand. 
"We need to be going.  We can rest when we get far 
enough away from here," I said, lifting her from the 
ground.  We moved at a fast pace, covering a lot of 
distance before my legs got heavy from carrying the two 
weapons and ammo.  I had to stop after going a 
kilometer. 
"Let me have those," she said, grabbing the strap of 
the bandoleers. 
"If they get too heavy for you, I'll carry them again," 
I said, but happy that she took them. 
"Come on," I said, leading the way. 
At this pace, I counted on catching up with Phon, 
thinking he would stop and find him a good hiding place 
to rest.  Two hours had passed and we finally reached 
the creek, stopping to rest again.  Heavy clouds began 
moving in and I knew we were about to get another 
downpour.  That would benefit us, limiting the distance 
we could be spotted and cool us enough that we could 
cover more distance.  Either way I knew we had to keep 
moving. 
We followed along the same route we traveled the first 
time.  The rain came down all at once so I put my 
poncho on her and continued moving.  The rain was 
coming down so hard I had to put my blanket over my 
head to keep it from stinging my scalp.  This continued 
for a while and noticeably became worse, making it 
difficult to see further than five meters. 
I looked back and Sian Moc was stumbling, unable to 
keep her footing on the rocks at the pace we were 
moving.  I searched for a spot we could wait this out.  
The level of the creek was rising rapidly and I knew 
the safe thing to do was to get on the other side to 
where the elevation was higher, but I knew there was no 
chance of that.  The rain was getting worse with every 
passing minute, but Sian Moc never said a word.  
Finally, I took her hand and led her into the 
undergrowth, but the water remained about six inches 
deep until I reached the base of a hill.  It was a 
steep climb, however, it was dryer up there and I knew 
it would be a struggle.  I took the bandoleers, putting 
three over my shoulder and had her grab a hold of the 
end of the other as I pulled her up with me.  We would 
get ten steps up and slide back five, this went on 
until we topped the first slope of the hill. 
I found two trees at the perfect distance, allowing me 
to string the bandoleers between them and hang my 
poncho over it.  After I did this, I wrung the water 
out of my blanket and placed it under the poncho to lie 
on.  We used her blanket that was mostly dry to cover 
us. 
Finally, we were out of the rain but still in our 
soaked clothes.  Both ends of our little tent were 
open, and some rain splashed in but it felt good being 
out of the downpour.  I immediately removed my boots, 
and then my jumpsuit, leaving me naked. 
 "What are you looking at?"  I said, noticing she was 
staring at me. 
She burst out laughing. 
"Come on, what's so funny?"  I asked, seeing nothing 
funny about it. 
"The way you plopped in here and just started taking 
your clothes off, it struck me to be funny. 
"Let's see if it strikes you funny while I watch you 
remove yours. 
Her mood changed quickly, removing the smile from her 
face, leaving a solemn expression. 
"I'm waiting," I said with a grin. 
Almost reluctantly, she untied the strings that held 
her front closed and as she did this, the smile on my 
face was replaced with one of anticipation.  My eyes 
remained fixed on her, watching every move of her 
hands.  When she had untied all of them, she hesitated.  
I rolled my finger, urging her to continue and she did, 
letting it slide off of her shoulders. 
I felt my heart pounding and a tingling sensation began 
to fill my body.  Her left nipple had been cut and 
never grew back together, leaving it with a split down 
the middle.  Several knife scars covered both breasts, 
not disfiguring them, but very noticeable.  Their round 
shape had remained, leaving the impression she at one 
time had perfect breasts. 
She leaned back, sliding her bottoms off, and when she 
sat up, her legs crossed at the ankles, leaving her 
cunt exposed.  The thick black hair around it stuck out 
against her light colored skin, exciting me more and 
more as I couldn't keep my eyes away from it. 
The thought of going down on her entered my mind but we 
hadn't bathed in over two days.  I remembered 
something, and looked in my survival bag, finding a 
half bar of soap Lin and I shared. 
"Come on," I coaxed, taking her hand.  She followed me 
out into the pouring rain and I began washing her hair.  
She looked at me and laughed as if I was crazy, but I 
continued.  While I lathered her hair, she took the bar 
and began washing the rest of her, running the bar over 
her body.  I wasn't going to miss out, so I took the 
bar back and when I came near her cunt, I hesitated.  
She took a hold of my arm, balanced herself, and spread 
her legs, inviting me to wash it.  I took the hint and 
rubbed the bar between her slit and when I had plenty 
of soap on it, I held the soap in my other hand and 
massaged her cunt with my fingers, of coarse not 
forgetting to wash inside her.  I had never been turned 
on so much in my life as I was now.  The rain continued 
pounding us, but I didn't care.  I continued cleaning 
between her legs until she finally said, "It should be 
very clean." 
I grinned, washed the rest of her body, and then washed 
myself, starting at the top, working my way down until 
I began washing between my legs.  She took the soap 
from me and washed my prick for a minute, and then my 
testicles and ass.  It was so stiff I was aching. 
I crawled back inside and watched her as she rinsed the 
soap out of her hair and then did something unusual but 
it turned me on.  She cupped water in her hand and 
forced it in her cunt, several times. 
The soap burns," she said while looking at me. 
"I'm sorry.  I didn't think about that.  Is it…Are 
you okay now?" 
"Yes, it is much better now," she replied, crawling 
back in. 
I immediately put my arms around her, pulled her 
breasts to my chest, and wiggled my upper body against 
her.  She began giggling. 
"Now what are you laughing about." 
"You."  She giggled a little more.  "You like a lot of 
sex." 
"You will to in a few minutes," I replied and began 
giggling myself. 
"What do you mean by that," she asked with a serious 
look. 
"Come here and lay down," I said, helping her down on 
her back.  "Now I want you to close your eyes for now 
and don't open them." 
I moved down and edged my knees between her ankles.  I 
lifted her knees from he inside and pulled them up and 
apart, and then lowered my face down to her cunt, 
placing my mouth on it.  She jerked, closing her legs. 
"What are you doing?  You can't do that!" she said 
scolding me. 
"Haven't you ever had anyone do that to you?"  I asked, 
being curious and serious. 
"No.  I would never let men do that!" 
"Are you serious?" 
"Yes, it is very unclean." 
"Where did you hear that?" 
"Our mothers teach us." 
"Sian Moc, do you trust me?" 
"Yes, why." 
"There is nothing unclean about that.  Americans do 
it all the time." 
"That may be so, but we are not taught that." 
"Sian Moc.  If you trust me, I want you to lie still 
and don't move.  You can close your eyes or leave them 
open, it's up to you, but I don't want you to pull away 
from me again, okay, will you trust me." 
"Yes," she said, in a way as if she really wasn't sure. 
"Don't pull away!"  I repeated, placing her legs on 
either side of me. 
I lay down between her legs with my legs extended out 
in the rain.  I didn't care about that right now.  With 
my elbows on the ground, I placed my hands underneath 
her knees and pulled them apart, lowering my face down 
to her thighs.  I began kissing the insides of them 
causing her to flinch over and again.  I looked at her 
as she watched and pointed my finger, warning her not 
to move. 
I began kissing the length of both her thighs to get 
her use to the idea of my face being down here, moving 
from one side to the other.  Her legs were trembling, 
more with each kiss. 
"Brian, I feel funny," she said, her voice was 
quivering. 
"That's okay.  Lay still and don't move," I repeated 
again.  I knew she was either having and orgasm or 
nearing one. 
I worked my kisses ever so close to her cunt, inching 
my way closer and closer until I had my lips touching 
her patch of hair.  I was ready if she tried to pull 
away, I would hold her and force my tongue into her.  
This was the moment. 
I pressed my mouth to her cunt and slid my tongue into 
her slit.  Her body began shaking and she began moaning 
repeatedly. 
"Brian-----Brian-----Brian-----Brian." 
I lunged my tongue against her clit, rolling the tip of 
it around continuously as her body went crazy, bucking 
and twisting.  I then thrust my tongue into her cavity 
and licked up in her, and around, all that I could 
reach. 
"Brian-----Brian."  She repeated, continuing to squirm. 
I knew she was having an orgasm, so I continued licking 
her and thrusting my tongue against her clit.  Her body 
continued shaking for another half minute and then 
began slowing until she lay, only quivering. 
I pulled myself up even with her and looked at her 
face.  She opened her eyes and grew a big smile, and 
then grabbed my neck, pulling my lips to hers.  She was 
almost hysterical, kissing all over my mouth. 
I backed my head away and asked, teasingly, "Do you 
trust me now?" 
"Yes, yes, yes!" she answered excitedly. 
I was just as excited as she, maybe more now because I 
needed my own relief. 
"Can we do it again?" she asked, with a big smile, 
placing her hands on my cheeks. 
I had a big smile on my face.  "I can't right now," I 
replied, taking hold of my prick and inserting it into 
her. 
"Oh," she responded, understanding what I had in mind. 
She was wet from her own juices and my saliva, allowing 
me to easily slide my prick the full length into her. 
"Oh god that feels so good," I said, slowly sliding it 
in and out and holding that rhythm. 
Every man thinks he knows everything about lovemaking 
but the truth is, we learn with each experience.  I had 
no preconceived ideas that I knew anything about making 
love.  To me, every experience was new, not having the 
variety of women as some men do.  I knew in my heart 
she, because of the past two years, had experienced 
almost every imaginable thing having to do with sex.  I had 
never experienced many of the things I had imagined 
while I grew up, or since I had made love the first 
time.  I wanted to now, but the shyness within me held 
that back and for some reason I was afraid to try or 
even ask. 
My arms were rigid as I held up my upper body, slowly 
pressing inward, savoring each amorous stroke, as our 
eyes were fixated on the others, sharing a little 
smile.  I continued pushing slowly, turning my eyes to 
her breasts, down to her cunt, and watched as my prick 
slid in and out.  Seeing this, excited as much or more 
than any erotic fantasy I had ever imagined. 
I began pulling out, just allowing the tip of my prick 
to exit and then push it in all the way and repeat this 
over and over.  I glanced at her face, seeing she was 
also watching, and then she put her hand on the side of 
her knees, opening them wide.  The view of her spread 
legs and my prick sliding in and out caused tingling 
sensations to fill my body.  I began to increase with 
each thrust, pushing faster, letting my prick pull all 
the way out and I would thrust again, watching as I 
felt my body thirst for fulfillment.  Each stroke 
brought me closer and closer, finally my body exploded 
into ecstasy as my eyes closed and my mind relished 
every second of this erotic sensation.  She wrapped her 
legs around my body pulling it to hers engorging 
herself in the pleasure she was giving me. 
"Rest!"  She pleaded, having her arms around my chest, 
pulling me to her.  I lay, panting, out of breath, my 
throat thirsting for moisture.  After a moment, I slid 
forward with my head from under the tent and turned my 
face toward the rain, lapping as it fell on my lips. 
A while later, still nude, we were sitting up looking 
out of the end of our little tent.  Our bodies were wet 
from the wind blowing the splattering mist of the heavy 
rain.  Staring into the rain was having the same affect 
on me as when I was home watching the flames burning in 
the fireplace.  My thoughts changed from one moment to 
the next, thinking of my warm bed at home, missing Cal 
and feeling bad for his family, to how revenge for my 
fathers death brought me to this point.  I knew I was 
considered MIA, Mother, Karen and Steven in their own 
hearts thinking I was dead.  I would be as happy to see 
them as they would me. 
It was near three weeks since my crash, and I was going 
to kill that avionics man, I laughed.  I turned my eyes 
and watched Sian Moc, as she also appeared hypnotized 
by the rain.  What was she thinking?  Where was her 
mind, in her warm bed, with her family, or maybe 
wondering if her family thought she was dead? 
She looked so beautiful.  Her long silky hair flowed 
over her breasts and thighs touching the wet blanket we 
sat on.  It remained wet, and as mine wouldn't dry 
until after the rain stopped. 
The pain and suffering she must have endured the past 
two years was more than I could imagine.  What I saw 
happen to Lin, and the screams I heard coming from Shen 
and Loi, how many times, repeatedly, had this happen to 
her.  I wondered when she got back to Saigon, would her 
life return to normal, at least as normal as things 
could be in a country at war. 
I was staring into her, not realizing she was looking 
at me.  "Where is your mind?" she asked. 
"Everywhere, but at this second I was thinking of you. 
Will you be okay when you return to Saigon?" 
She smiled.  "Life is much better already.  What about 
you?  Will you be happy when you get home?" 
"I think so.  We have seen much and it will be hard to 
forget.  You more than me," I replied. 
"The good always outweigh the bad.  We will never 
forget, but what happened to us will fade over time." 
"You know something, I have never thought of you as a 
philosopher," I said bringing a little laughter from 
her. 
"I was studying mathematics at the university." 
"You were in college?"  I asked, being surprised. 
"Is that so unusual?" 
"No, it's just that … 
"It is okay, I understand," she interrupted, letting me 
off the hook. 
"How old are you?" 
"Twenty." 
"Twenty!  I thought you to be eighteen or nineteen. 
So, what are your plans, ___ I mean for the future, once 
you get back?" 
"My uncle, on my mothers side, was Chief of police in 
Saigon before he was killed.  He paid for my 
scholarship at the university.  I will go back to 
school and get my degree, and then I think I would like 
to teach." 
"That's the hardest job in the world and you don't get 
paid enough.  I couldn't be a teacher." 
"Did you go to college?" 
"Is that so unusual?"  I asked.  We broke into 
laughter.  "I graduated from Georgia Tech, and have a 
degree in engineering.  I had this big notion of 
designing buildings someday, but I'm not sure anymore.  
I'll just have to wait until I get home before I make 
any decisions about my life." 
"What about Lin?" 
"What do you mean?" 
"Do you love her?" 
"Yes, but I love you too," I replied in a joking 
manner, placing my hand on her knee. 
"She understands you will not take her back to the 
United States." 
"Have you two been talking behind my back?"  I asked, 
wondering what they could possibly have to say about 
me. 
"All of us have talked about you.  Yam Nah and Komi say 
you are a very good kisser." 
"What do you say?" 
She looked out into the rain for a moment, and then 
looked at me quickly and said, "Come on, we should get 
some rest."  She lay down, pulling the damp blanket 
over her, and held it up for me to get under. 
_____________________________________ 
  
I awoke every couple of hours, checking my watch and to 
see that the rain had not let up.  Unless she was 
awakening at different times, she was sleeping well.  
Six hours had passed and I saw no hope in traveling 
anytime soon.  I hate the monsoons.  I wondered where 
or what Phon was doing.  Did he forge on through the 
rain?  He could be within a hundred meters from us and 
we would never know it.  Hell, he could be ten meters 
away and we wouldn't know.  If I were alone I would 
have gone on, so I figured he would do the same.  How 
many soldiers are looking for us now?  I curled up 
beside her warm body and fell asleep again. 
Almost 1730 hours and the rain has let up, I thought, 
looking out.  It was hot and sticky, and I was hungry.  
I removed the package of dried spaghetti from my 
survival pack and tore the top off.  In the nude, I 
crawled out and dipped the water pouch into some water 
from the top of the tent that had sunk in.  I poured 
some into the pouch.  There was no hot water so I would 
have to wait until it softened enough to eat. 
I was sitting at her feet, about to awaken her when she 
turned on her back with one knee up, pulling most of 
the blanket off her body.  Everything but the leg of 
the raised knee was showing.  I sat for five minutes 
looking over her body, until her eyes opened.  She 
pulled the blanket over her, knowing I had been 
looking.  I turned my head looking away, avoiding eye 
contact, but not being embarrassed. 
"Brian." 
"What?" 
"Brian." 
I turned to answer and she had removed the blanket, not 
only that, but her legs were slightly separated, the 
one knee remained up. 
"Sian Moc, I don't have to have sex every five minutes, 
I was only admiring you," I said, defending my action 
that I felt were innocent.  She was lying nude, in 
front of me.  Again, I turned my head away. 
"Brian, I want you to look at me."  I turned, looking 
at her.  "You have made me feel very special, you may 
ask me anytime, and I will remove my clothes for you." 
I leaned over, pulling the blanket over her.  "Let's 
eat," I said, picking up the packet. 
After we ate, I dressed and went out to use the 
bathroom, a little further up the hill, behind a tree.  
There remained a drizzle, I looked at the base of the 
hill, and I knew the creek had overrun its bank.  We 
would have to wade in water for a ways until we reached 
higher elevation. 
We packed what we had and set out, wading in knee-deep 
water.  I couldn't tell if any of the banks had washed 
away so we kept at further distance from the creek.  I 
knew we both were anxious to see if the others were 
where we left them so we moved at a steady pace.  In 
reality, I knew they would not be there; Phon would 
have taken them on as I told him. 
At almost 1900 hours, we finally walked on dry ground, 
and went into the thicket for a few minutes to rest.  
It would be dark in a couple of hours and I planned to 
cover as much ground as possible during that time. 
"Brian!" she whispered, holding a finger over her lips.  
I sat quiet and heard the same voices.  I turned to see 
three VC walking up the same way we had come.  I 
couldn't let them get ahead of us, knowing they might 
turn back at anytime, and have the advantage on us. 
I slowly stood up holding an AK-47, and moved toward 
them just as they passed.  I was scared, hoping I would 
not make a mistake and they would see me.  They were in 
the open as I weaved through the undergrowth, about 
fifteen meters from them when I raised the Ak-47 to my 
side, ready to pull the trigger and made a suction 
noise pulling my boot out of a puddle.  Automatically I 
pulled the trigger as they turned.  My mind went blank, 
squeezing the trigger in short burst.  Two fell quickly 
as the other fired back hitting me in the left side.  I 
fell to one knee and continued firing, finally hitting 
him, causing him to fall.  I popped another clip in and 
walked toward them, bending my body over to the left, 
feeling a burning sensation in my side.  I had hit the 
last one in the head, evident by the blood that 
surrounded it.  I didn't feel safe checking the other 
bodies so I opened up with two short burst into them, 
and then fell to one knee, propping myself up with the 
gun.  I began gasping to breathe and feeling 
light-headed. 
"Brian!  Brian!"  I heard Sian Moc's voice, and then 
saw her face as she knelt before me. 
"Please don't die," she said, trying to help me up. 
"I have to hide the bodies," I grunted, short of 
breath. 
"Come with me!" she shouted, helping me off the path.  
I felt dizzy, and if I had walked a thousand miles.  I 
watch her as she frantically undid my jumper, pulling 
it back over my shoulders.  She cut a portion of her 
blanket and wrapped it around my side, crying all the 
time.  Suddenly, everything went black.