Fallen Angel  
Chapter 2 
 Affection!
"Brine!"  Lin shouted. 
I looked up from having fallen asleep, asking, "What?" 
She was holding the little tin can in my face that held 
the candle; the one I had left burning.  She went on 
and on speaking to me as if I was a ten year old.  From 
her tone, she was berating me for wasting it.  I 
realized that it was careless of me to have left it 
burning, knowing there wasn't another one in here, 
and possibly, she didn't have another.  After several 
minutes of listening to her lecture, speaking in 
Vietnamese, I placed my hand over her mouth. 
"I'm sorry," I said apologizing, in a soft tone. 
I removed my hand from her mouth and pointed to 
myself, then slapped the back of my hand as if I was 
punishing myself, and then said again, "I'm sorry." 
For a moment, she looks at me as if I was crazy, then 
burst out laughing, and began rattling off more 
Vietnamese.  After she had her little laugh, she looked 
me in the eye and said, "Kiss, Brine." 
I smiled at her, thinking I would be more than glad to.  
Leaning to her, I was going to give her a soft kiss but 
she thrust her tongue in my mouth searching for mine.  
I pulled back and said quickly, "Wait a minute, wait a 
minute!  Let's take it slow and work our way into 
 that."  She looked at me not understanding. 
I couldn't explain in a way she could understand so I 
had to take control of the situation.  I began kissing 
her again but didn't press my mouth to hers, but pecked 
softly around her mouth, trying to illustrate that we 
should take it easy in the beginning, at least the first 
thing in the morning. 
She had left the door partially open illuminating the 
cubical, allowing ample light to see her face.  Her 
eyes were closed and I felt that she was enjoying the 
way in which I was kissing her.  I continued in this 
way but began moving about her face, softly kissing 
her nose, eyes and forehead.  She seemed 
mesmerized, her face slightly rotating and her mind 
was as if it was floating in another world.  I knew now 
that she had never been kissed this way and I took 
pleasure in being her first. 
The sound of leaves ruffling interrupted us.  We both 
looked toward the door. 
"Yam Nah," she whispered. 
"What?"  I asked. 
She quickly moved next to me, placing her hand on 
my wrist, as if to protect me.  I reached in my bag to 
get my 38 and she stopped me. 
"Yam Nah," she repeated. 
A few seconds later, another young girl entered, 
smiling.  I recognized her as the third angel.  She 
kneeled down before us and they began discussing 
something between them.  She was very cute and 
looked to be about sixteen years old.  She was now 
discussing something with Lin and after a minute, Lin 
seems to give up, throwing her hands up as if to 
express that. 
Yam Nah moved up directly in front of me with her 
face within five inches of mine and said, "Kiss!”  I 
thought for a second and fell back on the bed 
laughing, understanding what they had discussed.  
She grabbed my wrist pulling me up and repeated, 
"Kiss."   I continued laughing, causing her to put her 
hands on her hips, and cocking her head at me. 
"Okay, okay," I said, trying to keep from laughing.  I 
inched my mouth toward hers.  Glancing over at Lin I 
noticed her head was turned away.  I detected a little 
jealousy, however I put my lips to Yam Nah's and kissed 
her softly at first and then licked her lips.  Our eyes 
were open, looking into the others as I pressed my 
tongue into her mouth searching for her tongue.  She 
stuck her tongue into my mouth and I began sucking on 
it, seeing a smile appear on her face.  She then probed 
for my tongue until I put it in her mouth and she began 
sucking it. 
After a minute, she pulled her face back and said, 
"Very nice." 
I was shocked.  "What did you say?  Do you speak 
English?"  I asked, excitedly. 
She smiled, shaking her head yes. 
"Well, say something else!"  I said, waiting. 
She looks at me continuing to smile but said nothing. 
"Can you say anything else in American?" 
"American GI," she answered, pointing at me. 
"Good!"  I said, praising her. 
"Good," she replied. 
My heart sank, realizing she was repeating what I said.  
She probably picked up a few words here and there but 
couldn't carry a conversation. 
"Helicopter," I said, twirling my fingers and making 
hand gestures.  I wanted them to take me to the crash 
site.  They began talking to each other and then Lin 
took my hand, tugging on me. 
I pulled my flight suit over my upper body and pulled 
my 38 from the bag. 
"Kill VC?" she asked, seeing the revolver. 
I shook my head yes, and saying, "Come on." 
We crawled out and looked around.  Lin took my hand led 
me down the hill, zigzagging through the undergrowth 
for about a quarter mile.  As we reached the site, I 
saw that the gunship had fallen or was pulled to the 
ground.  Someone had mostly covered it with branches 
and leaves.  I stepped over, looking in the cockpit and 
didn't see Cal's body. 
I turned to them and asked, "Where's his body?  I 
grabbed my shirt, shaking it and said, "American GI." 
Lin pointed in the direction along the river and said, 
"Mo Phan." 
"Take me there," I stated, pointing at me, and the 
direction she had pointed. 
Lin hesitated for a moment, looking disappointed and 
then took my hand.  She led me about twenty meters 
down river and we climbed the hill another five meters as 
she pointed to a spot.  I stepped over, raked the leaves 
back, and saw a shallow mound.  Immediately, I began 
digging to retrieve his dog tags.  They both began saying 
something to me while shaking their heads.  I looked at 
them and pulled my dog tags out, showing them what I 
was after.  Yam Nah walked over and kneeled beside 
me, replacing the leave over his grave, and then reached 
over, lifting a stone, pulling his tags out and handed them 
to me.  I took them, clasping them in my hand. 
I cowered over his grave.  "God I'm sorry Cal.  You know 
I would trade places if I could.  Don't worry, your family 
will get these, and I'll tell them all about you.  You were a 
good friend," I said, as my eyes moistened.  Lin and Yam 
Nah knelt on either side of me, putting their arms around 
my shoulders and squeezed me.  
  
The Unforgivable Tragedy!

We took our time walking back, and when we reached the 
cubical, she motioned me to go back inside, alone. 
"No, I'm going with you, I want to see your village," I 
stated, and began walking in the direction they always 
came. 
"VC, VC," Yam Nah shouted, as they both grabbed my 
arms, holding me. 
I didn't even try arguing with them.  I walked back to the 
cubical as if I was going in, but my intentions were to 
follow them when they were far enough away not to 
spot me.  I waved my hands, signaling them to go ahead 
that I would stay. 
They left and when I thought the time was right, I 
followed them.  I could sometimes see them through the 
growth, but I knew they were walking in a straight 
line, so I wasn't worried about losing them.  I stopped 
a minute and took a dump, using leaves to wipe myself, 
and then followed them again. 
Bang!  Bang!  Bang!  I stopped, and listened.  That was 
the definite sound of an AK-47 firing.  The sound came 
from the direction I was headed.  I became more careful 
about the path I took, watching each step, careful not 
to step on something that would make noise. 
When I was close enough to see some of the huts in the 
village, I began crawling until I was at its edge.  I 
heard laughter and shouting and I tried getting close 
enough to see what was happening. 
I counted six Viet Cong, circled around what appeared 
to be the men of the village.  All were older, maybe 
forty and up, and I counted thirteen of them.  They 
were interrogating them, but what were they asking, I 
couldn't say.  I looked around and saw the women 
standing about twenty yards on the other side of the 
village, guarded by one soldier.  After counting eight 
elderly women, two that looked thirty to forty, and 
eleven from the ages ten to twenty years, I worked my 
way around by crawling, getting within fifteen yards of 
them, and still able to see the other soldiers. 
One of the soldiers walked up to one of the men and 
pulled him forward; throwing him down in front of the 
one that appeared to be in command.  He began 
shouting as the old man was shaking his head.  The one 
in command shouted at one of the other soldiers and he 
walked up, unsnapping his pants and began pissing over 
the old man's body. 
"Mother Fucker," I whispered to myself.  The old man 
did nothing but knelt there without moving. 
"You stupid son-of-a-bitch, get up and kick his ass." 
The commander pointed a gun at his head and shouted 
something.  The old man shook his head and the 
commander pulled the trigger, blowing the back of the 
man's head out.  His body fell backwards, plopping on 
the ground. 
"You sorry mother fucker." 
Without another thought, the commander pointed at 
three of the soldiers and waved for them to follow him.  
He walked over to the women and said something, 
pointing at the women.  The three soldiers walked to 
the women and grabbed the two youngest girls, pulling 
them into a hut the commander had entered. 
"Oh fuck no!"  I said, knowing they were going to be 
raped. 
The girls began screaming; trying to break loose of the 
holds, but it was no use.  They were dragged into the 
hut, kicking and screaming.  Everyone, including me, 
stood silent as the screams continued.  The soldiers 
laughing and shouting couldn't drown out the 
montage of screams and cries of pain I heard for the 
next fifteen minutes.  The horrifying sounds of torture 
that came from the young girls soon fell silent, but the 
laughter and noise the soldiers made, continued 
another ten minutes. 
I sat frozen, even though I had my 38; I was no match 
for the seven soldiers carrying AK-47's and the SKS 
rifles.  I thought they would leave now, but they came 
out of the hut, dragging the two young girls, and then 
throwing them down in front of the women.  The 
commander shouted at two other two soldiers guarding 
the men and they rushed over as the three from the hut 
took their places.  The commander went back into the 
hut and the two soldiers grabbed Lin's arm, pulling her 
inside. 
 "Fuck no.  Oh, fuck no.  Not Lin."  I stood 
frantically, thinking I had to do something.  I sneaked 
around the back of the hut, looking to see if I could 
get an advantage on them.  I was at the back corner of 
the hut, next to the one where they were.  I could see 
them through the open window, standing in front of a 
small table.  My heart was racing and anger filled my 
body. 
One of the soldiers wrapped a length of rope around her 
neck, choking her while the other began stripping her.  
I looked around the corner and the other soldiers were 
looking toward the hut laughing.  No way could I get to 
her without being seen. 
"God don't let this happen!  What can I do?"  I said, 
almost bursting in to stop it.  I held back, breathing 
heavier than I can ever remember.  My heart was 
pounding like thunder and I could feel my blood 
pumping. 
The commander struck her with his fist, knocking her 
back on the table.  He lowered his pants down to his 
knees with an expression of lust and stepped forward, 
spreading her legs.  The soldier holding the rope 
pulled it tighter, causing her to gasp for air.  The 
commander pushed himself into her and began thrusting 
in and out while holding her hips.  She was not able to 
scream because of the rope, struggling to get her 
fingers underneath it.  The third soldier grabbed her 
wrist, holding them above her head as the commander 
laughed, thrusting harder. 
My mind was now going crazy, thinking, why she came 
back to the village knowing this might happen.  She 
must have known.  How long has this been going on?  
How could these people stay here and allow this.  Why 
don't they move some place where this doesn't happen? 
The commander stopped and said something, waving 
them away.  The two soldiers released her stepping back.  
The commander grabbed her by the hair looking into her 
face and put his other hand between her legs, and 
thrust his fist into her. 
"Lin screamed, over and again as he kept thrusting his 
arm into her for several minutes, finally pulling it 
out.  He again gave an order, the two rolled her over, 
and the commander got up behind her and tried for a 
moment to put his prick in her ass.  Finally, after 
entering her he rammed it in as hard as he could, 
bringing further screams from her.  This went on for 
another ten minutes until he came in her. 
Stepping back, the commander nodded, and the two 
soldiers took their turns with her, each being equally 
as brutal.  I turned and crawled away, not able to take 
any more.  I crawled my way to the undergrowth and 
walked back toward the hideout.  My mind was crazy 
with every conceivable emotion, hate, love, disgust, 
and even jealousy, imagining every vile act I had seen. 
How could I allow myself to get emotionally involved 
with someone as she, allowing her body to be depredated 
in such a way?  These people, especially she, have no 
honor, no shame, or sense of worth, and obviously 
allowing this to happen repeatedly.  I felt ashamed and 
stupid for allowing myself to get involved with her, and as 
if I had been betrayed. 
I walked past the hideout, knowing I couldn't box 
myself in there with all of these thoughts spinning 
through my mind.  I continued walking, nearing the 
river and stood about twenty meters from it, watching 
the fallen trees and debris float along its course as I 
considered my options.  Again, I felt foolish, even to 
think of allowing myself to care about someone like 
her.  She was nothing to me now, but a whore.  

Living with Reality!

I walked to Cal's grave and stood over it. 
"You always said I was a cold blooded bastard when it 
came to these people.  Well, I should have stayed that 
way, but don't worry, you're still right.  What should 
I do now old buddy?  Yeah, you're right, pack up and 
get the hell out of here.  Get back with my own kind 
and forget I ever knew her.  I'm sorry I can't take you 
home with me, but don't worry; I'll come back some day 
to take you home to where you can rest with your 
family.  Good-bye my friend." 
I turned away, stepping down the hill, walking the few 
meters up river to the path leading back up the hill.  
About twenty meters up I stopped, seeing someone 
walking my way.  I stood still, observing closely.  It 
was Lin, partially stooped and walking slowly, one hand 
holding her torn blouse together.  I remained 
motionless, not seen by her until she was within a few 
meters. 
She stopped, and looked at me being startled.  I could 
see shame in her face as she stood waiting for me to 
speak.  My face remained void, having nothing to say.  
Tears began streaming down her face as she walked up 
and fell on her knees before me with her head down, 
waiting for some reaction from me but getting none.  
She looked up into my eyes and I turned my head away, 
not wanting to look at her.  She stood up, staring at 
me; her expression was as one looking for some kind of 
understanding.  I continued looking away and she began 
walking toward the river. 
"That's right whore, see if you can wash it off!"  I 
shouted. 
With her head lowered, she slowly walked until she 
reached the edge of the river and stood looking out 
over it, and then leaped in.  I watched for a second, 
seeing she did not attempt to swim.  What is she doing, 
why don't she paddle.  I took another couple of steps 
forward. 
"LIN!  LIN!"  I shouted, slowly walking toward her, not 
understanding at first what she was doing.  "LIN!"  I 
shouted again, now fully realizing what was taking 
place I began running, unbuckling my holster at the 
same time and then leaped in after her.  The current 
had carried her about ten meters and I swam fast as I 
could, seeing her body floating each time I took a 
breath of air.  I swam with all my strength, getting 
closer with each stroke, knowing I would be too late.  
Somehow, catching a second breath, allowed me to 
finally reach out and grab her arm.  I rolled her over, 
got my arm under her neck, holding her face out of the 
water, and swam to the shore.  Being exhausted, I took 
a few seconds to catch my breath and then pulled her 
out of the water, laying her body face up. 
Immediately I tried resuscitating her, pressing her 
chest several times and then blowing a breath in her 
lungs.  I repeated this several time with no success. 
"Please forgive me, I'm sorry," I begged, struggling to 
revive her. 
She remained motionless.  I stopped and rose up, still 
on my knees looking down at her, and then tried a last 
time. 
She began coughing and spitting up water as I turned 
her head allowing it run to the ground.  When she was 
through coughing up water and breathing normal, I 
pulled her up, holding her to my chest, and rocked her. 
She opened her eyes and softly said, "Tha loi." 
I smiled, shaking my head yes, not understanding what 
she said. 
"Kiss?"  She stated. 
I smiled again and said, "Yes, kiss." 
I kissed her lips and then about her face and continued 
rocking her for a time.  I picked her up and carried 
her up the hill, stopping to get my revolver.  She felt 
light, at about five feet one inch and not weighing as 
much as a hundred pounds.  When I reach the hideout, I 
took her in, laying her down and held her until she 
fell asleep. 
For two hours, I held her, thinking how to get back to 
camp and taking her with me.  However, how would I 
seek recompense for what they did to her?  I would 
scout around at night; pinpoint the locations of any 
caves, travel routes, any munitions, or food caches, 
and anything else I could scratch on a map. 
I eased my arm from around her, laying her back, and 
then slipped away.  I went back to the crash site and 
scrounged, finding my map, torn poncho, and part of a 
broken pencil stuck in the seat.  There was nothing else 
worth taking so I returned to the hideout.  Lin was 
standing just outside the door and when she saw me, 
she ran up and fell before me, holding my legs. 
"Don't do that.  Remember, you saved my life too," I 
said, kneeling down with her.  She threw her arms 
around me and held tight for several minutes. 
"Come on back in.  You need to rest," I said, lifting 
her. 
I walked her toward the hideout and she began shaking 
her head and pointing toward the village, wanting me to 
come with her.  I followed her to the village and she took 
me to the hut where she lived. 
I waited outside as she went in.  Yam Nah and the 
second girl ran up with smiles, when they saw me.  A 
second later Lin came out saying something to them, 
acting as if she were looking for someone.  Taking my 
hand, she led me across to one of the other huts and 
the old woman came out, and was surprised to see me.  
She was the elderly angel.  I walked over and gave her 
a hug for helping to save my life. 
She raised her head smiling at me and said, "Kiss!" 
"What!"  I asked, being shocked. 
"She want you kiss her like young girl," another elderly 
lady said, coming out of the hut. 
I looked dumfounded, not knowing what to do. 
"Kiss!"  The old woman repeated herself. 
I looked at each of the others and they were 
snickering.  Apparently the word had spread.  I looked 
at the old woman and thought, "hell no."  Nevertheless, 
if I were to do that, I would have to take her in the 
hut so not to be seen. 
"Kiss," Lin said, looking at me and pointing at the old 
woman.  The other two angels repeated 'kiss'. 
I took the old ladies hand and was going to lead her 
into the hut when each of them grabbed me, saying, 
kiss, kiss.  I took a breath and leaned down, kissing 
her on the lips.  Immediately she forced her tongue 
into my mouth, capturing my tongue and began sucking 
it.  After pulling away, she smiled and everyone began 
laughing, embarrassing me. 
"You good GI," the other lady standing nearby said. 
I looked at her, still embarrassed and asked, "Do you 
speak much American?" 
"What good GI want to know?" 
"Can we talk in there?"  I asked, pointing at her hut. 
"Come, I tell you everything."  She answered, walking 
back into her hut. 
I followed her but stopped and motioned the others to 
leave us alone for now.  As I walked in, I saw it was 
almost bare.  One raggedy wicker table with two wooden 
crates to sit on, with a worn blanket folded in the 
corner was the extent of her furnishings.  She sat on 
one crate and I sat on the other, wondering where to 
start. 
"I saw what happened today.  Can you tell me why this 
is happening?" 
She lowered her head, seeming ashamed. 
"This my village.  I live here long time.  VC come 
through with many guns and soldiers. Stay long time so 
bring young girls for them." 
"What is your name?" 
"Tae Thu." 
"Tae Thu, Lin tried to kill herself today." 
"Better for her if she die.  VC kill two girl if she run away 
and not come back." 
"Do you mean no one can leave?" 
"No leave.  VC kill if girl leave and not come back. 
Girls have no home, they fathers not Vietnamese. 
"Why don't all of you leave together?  Go someplace 
where this doesn't happen." 
"I wait for my sons to come home, when fighting stop. 
I need stay here." 
"What if I take all of you out of here and promise to 
bring you back when the war ends, would you come with 
me then?" 
"All my family dead by VC.  Maybe my three sons come 
home." 
"Do you think the whole village would come with me if I 
promise to bring them back, but only if they want to 
come back?" 
"I will ask them," she answered, getting up. 
"Tae Thu, what does 'Tha loi' mean?" 
"It mean ah, forgive," she answered, causing my heart 
to skip. 
I stood up with her and asked, "When will the VC come 
back?" 
"Two day." 
"Two days!  When, what time?"  I asked, considering how 
much time we had. 
"Same time every two day." 
"Come on, we have a lot to do," I said, taking her hand 
and leading her out.  Several of the other girls were 
outside when we stepped out.  She said something to 
them and they all went different ways except Lin.  I 
took her hand. 
"They go get village people."  Tae Thu said. 
"Tae Thu, can you tell Lin that I care about her?" 
She smiled saying something to Lin and Lin said 
something in return but lengthier. 
"She say she know. She say you care much for her when 
she help you get well and she care much for you when 
you save her life.  She say you two uh -- how you say, uh 
-- soul mate." 
"Is that what she says?"  I asked, and kissed Lin. 
Lin said something and I looked at Tae Thu to translate. 
"She say you no more kiss girl, and mostly Tan Nai, the 
old lady." 
I laughed, looking at Lin saying, "You don't have to worry 
about that, especially with Tan Nai."  
  
The Preparations!

Not long after, all the people returned, gathering in the 
center of the village.  I stood with Tae Thu as they each 
focused on me while walking up to us, apparently 
wondering what I was doing there.  I reached my arm 
around Lin's shoulder and she placed hers around my 
waist, drawing further looks. 
When all had gathered I asked, "Do any of you speak 
American?"  Getting no response I said to Tae Thu, "Tell 
them please don't be afraid.  I want to help them." 
She explained to them, more than I said, because it took 
her a couple of minutes. 
"I speak little," an elderly man answered, partially raising 
his hand. 
"What's your name?"  I asked. 
"Phon Dak," he replied. 
"Phon Dak, can you help Tae Thu explain to the others 
what I speak?"  I asked, getting a nod from him. 
I looked around at each of them, thinking of how to say 
this in a way they would trust me.  Every one of them 
stared me in the face, waiting. 
"I was over there by that hut today when the soldiers 
came by.  I saw what they did to your friend.  I also saw 
what they did to Lin and the two young girls," I 
explained, looking at Tae Thu.  She translated, as each 
of their heads lowered. 
"I want to help by taking all of you away from here, 
somewhere that you can live without having the soldiers 
tormenting your village every time they pass through. 
When the war is over, and only if you want, I promise I 
will personally see that you are brought back here to live 
out your lives.  I have nothing to gain from this, except to 
repay these women for saving my life.  It must be all of 
you or none because you know what will happen if 
anyone stays behind, so you must decide now. 
Tai Thu explained and Phon Dak assisted, as some of the 
people seemed to be asking him questions.  Everyone was 
discussing the situation at the same time, continuing 
for several minutes, and then everyone became quiet. 
"The village people say they go with you," Tai Thu said. 
"Good!  Tell them to get only food and clothing, things 
they can carry.  We will leave in one hour," I stated.  
They all began talking again, each of them going their 
own ways. 
I walked with Lin to her hut, along with Yam Nah and 
the second girl, whom I didn't know her name. 
"What is your name?"  I asked the second angel.  I 
pointed at Lin, Yam Nah and me, saying our names for 
her to understand. 
"Komi Ta," she answered, pointing at herself. 
I smiled at her as we continued walking and entered 
their hut.  The three of them shared the hut with Tan 
Nai, the old lady, who entered a few minutes later.  
They had nothing but an old wooden box in the center 
of the hut with their bedrolls lined along the wall where 
they slept.  Lin reached in the side of the box and pulled 
out two pots and four metal plates, of which they used 
to cook and eat. 
I watched each of them get their belongings, excitedly 
they all came up to me and waited for instructions. 
"Come on," I said. 
"Come on," they all said at the same time, bringing me 
to a smile. 
I walked with them to the center of the village where 
some had already gathered.  I noticed the two young 
girls that had been raped hiding their faces behind one 
of the other elderly women.  I walked to them and 
kneeled down. 
"Tai Thu, tell them that I will never let that happen 
again." 
She explained to them and they each showed a quaint 
smile.  I held my arms out and they hesitated until the 
elderly woman coaxed them to approach me, and then 
they each stepped forward and we hugged. 
I explained to Lin that I was going back to the hideout 
and get my things with Tae interpreting, but Lin 
wouldn't let me go alone, maybe fearing something 
may happen and I wouldn't return. 
"Come on," I said, giving in. 
"Come on," they each repeated.  I laughed again, taking 
Lin's hand. 
We walked to the hideout, holding hands.  I wondered 
what I would do with them if we were to reach a 
village, or even if I could temporarily find them a 
place to live.  My best chance was get to Firebase 
Beaver, the closest base with Americans.  It was a good 
30 to 35 kilometers east, probably taking us, 
considering the elders, and the dense jungle, about 
seven days. 
I wasn't about to reveal to anyone yet, that once I got 
them far enough away, I would leave them for a day or 
two and come back to map out some VC sites.  I had to.  
I wasn't going to let this opportunity pass, knowing I 
could get, maybe two or three Companies of men and 
caches of ammo and provisions.  I needed to do it for 
the villagers but I think mostly for myself. 
After Lin and I reached the hideout, we crawled inside, 
taking anything of value.  She was putting my personals 
in my bag and when she picked up the bar of soap, she 
put it to her nose and breathed in the aroma.  I knew 
what was on her mind, getting the scent of the soldiers 
off. 
"When you get back to the village you can bathe," I 
said, having seen a makeshift shower, probably used by 
the entire village.  She didn't understand my words but 
I knew she understood my meaning. 
We made haste getting back and when we reached the 
village, she looked at me still holding the soap.  I 
nodded, that I would make time for that.  Most of the 
others were assembled and anxious to leave. 
"How long we go to new home?"  Phon Dak asked. 
"Seven or eight days, Phon." 
"We make there," he stated emphatically. 
"That's right, we will.  Phon, when I get everyone a 
safe distance away from here, I'm coming back to find 
out where the VC are hiding." 
"That not good.  VC everywhere." 
"Would you help me find their hiding places?" 
"VC make all men in village dig tunnel.  I know where 
they hide." 
"Will you help me?"  I asked, as he stared at the 
ground. 
"Phon help, but bad idea.  VC will torture before they 
kill us." 
"I have to do this Phon, if I have to do it by myself." 
"American GI help my village, I help you." 
"My name is Brian.  Call me Brian." 
"Okay, Brine," he said, mis-pronouncing it the same as 
the others. 
I chuckled, taking his hand and shaking it, bringing a 
smile from him. 
Within a short time, all the village had assembled 
accept for Lin, who came walking up a few minutes 
later.  She had washed her clothes while in there, 
evident by the wet silk clinging to her skin.  She 
looked at me and smiled, pulling her top away from 
her breasts and shaking it. 
I looked around and counted thirty-three, seeing if 
anyone was missing, and then asked Phon, "Is this 
everyone?" 
"Yes, this whole village." 
I looked around once again, wondering for a second if I 
had made a mistake.  These people probably knew 
more about surviving than I did.  I wasn't so proud that I 
wouldn't ask for advice if I needed to.  As I looked into 
their faces, I saw hope, and what seemed to be a look 
of trust.  If I let them down, I knew it would cost all our 
lives. 
I looked at Phon.  "Ask them if they're ready." 
He did as I asked and the response was of excitement.  
I turned, and headed east from the village.  Having 
looked over my map, with the terrain and density of the 
jungle, I would travel east for three or so kilometers 
then turn northeast up the Bien Dak creek, which should 
make for easier traveling conditions.  In addition, if 
we were followed, I figured the VC would expect us to 
continue east in one direction. 
Several of the men brought their machetes, clearing 
some of the thicker brush, making it easier for all of 
us.  I knew we would be expected to head east so at 
this point I had nothing to hide.  When we reached the 
turning point, covering our tracks would be necessary. 
The older women surprised me by keeping up, having 
carried their own haversacks.  The first three hours 
were the most difficult, cutting through the dense, 
hilly terrain, and then the undergrowth thinned out but 
leaving more than enough trees to conceal us from a 
distance.  During this time, much of it was spent with 
Phon, trying to learn each of their names, and 
struggling with each one.  I had been here almost two 
years and had never considered learning the language, 
regretfully. 
It was almost dark when we reached the small creek that 
was shown on the map; only it was much larger now 
because of the rain of the monsoons.  We were lucky so 
far, not having rained on us these few miles, but I knew 
the morning would bring another downpour that would 
last for hours. 
The moon shown through the clouds, possibly allowing 
enough light for further travel, however I figured it 
would be best not to push on until morning.  We would 
pick up then and follow along the rocky creek beds as 
much as possible, trying to avoid leaving traces of our 
whereabouts. 
Phon suggested we sleep on the rocky creek bed, not 
disturbing the leafy ground cover nearby that looked 
much more appealing.  Everyone saw the wisdom in this 
and no one complained, so we rolled out what coverings 
we had and made our beds upon the stones. 
Yam Nah, the youngest of the angels, and Komi, spread 
their beds on either side of mine as I sat on my knees 
and watched Lin spread hers next to Tan Nai, the old 
angel.  I wondered why she chose to bed with Tan Nai.  
Komi began speaking to me, however I couldn't 
understand her.  I became aware she was trying to 
explain the sleeping arrangements. 
Tae Thu came over, hearing Komi, and explained that 
Lin, being the oldest of the three, was responsible for 
Tan Nai and would keep her warm at night unless one of 
the younger ones would accept that responsibility.  Also, 
that I shouldn't ask one of them to take that 
responsibility; it would have to be their choice, because 
that person would assume it from that time. 
I looked at Yam Nah and Komi.  Smiles filled their 
faces as each of them took an arm and forced me to lay 
back.  The uneven stones made it difficult to get 
comfortable until each of them sat up and moved me, 
allowing them to slide a portion of their bamboo 
mattresses underneath my body.  I smiled at each of 
them for having the insight of thinking of a bamboo 
mattress and I then shared my poncho with them.  I lay 
on my back as they each threw an arm and a leg over me, 
keeping me warm, almost to the point of smothering me. 
Within minutes, I was fast asleep, only to awaken a 
while later with Yam Nah's hand caressing my prick.  
She had unzipped my flight suit.  I turned, looking at 
her and the soft light from the moon barely allowed me 
to see her smiling.  I did not intend to molest her but 
it seems she didn't share the same thought.  I lay with 
an erection, afraid to react in a way that might awaken 
anyone, and I was aroused to the point I didn't want 
her to stop. 
With her hand inside my flight suit, she stroked faster 
as I tried not to give in mentally, but physically I 
couldn't resist.  A minute later, I came in her hand 
and in my suit, spurting a fair amount of sperm over my 
belly.  I had succumbed to lust, but for some reason I 
did not feel the least bit of guilt. 
   A moment later, Komi placed her hand inside the 
opened part of my suit and began stroking me.  
Apparently, she had been awake waiting her turn.  I had 
no idea if they planned this, or if it was by impulse, but 
at this point it didn't matter.  I couldn't deny I was 
enjoying myself more as every second passed.  
Unashamed, almost gloating, I felt my chest expanding, 
lying between the two beautiful young girls, and 
sharing myself between them. 
Instinctively, my hands slipped between each of their 
legs, caressing the small patch of hair covering each 
pussy, feeling each of them twisting, using their hands 
to guide my fingers.  Under their guidance, each of my 
middle fingers, independent of the other, probed deep 
into their cunts.  This aroused my senses, creating an 
instant hard-on, and compelling Yam Nah to take my 
hand and force it deeper into her as she twisted my 
hand into her body.  For a moment, I was surprised at 
how far my hand penetrated into her pussy, but I 
remembered the rapes the previous day.  My hand 
moved easily inside her cunt, her wetness sent a cold 
chill through my body, as I suddenly realized she might 
be capable of emotion, and realizing rape was not 
exclusive to the others, or Lin.  The cold chill was a 
reminder I had lain in the dirt while her comrades were 
being brutally abused, and I did nothing.  I battled 
those thoughts, to keep from getting angry, but the 
further my hand slid into Yam Nahs' cunt, the more 
excited I became.  When my hand was in her to my 
wrist, she gripped my arm above my wrist and worked 
it in and out, faster and faster, causing me to come in 
Komi's hand, with immeasurable intensity.  
  
Week 3-Day 3

I awoke before dawn, as everyone slept.  Slipping from 
between them, I walked over to the creek that had risen 
another foot.  I took a long stick and poked it in to 
measure the depth, calculating it was about four feet 
deep.  I splashed a couple of handfuls on my face, 
taking a deep breath, being surprised at how cold it 
felt on my skin. 
What happened the previous evening weighed heavy 
on my mind?  Why did they do that?  Why did I allow 
them to do that?  I wasn't feeling any guilt, but I knew I 
shouldn't sleep with them again.  Did Lin know this was 
happening, or did she really care?  To me it was pure 
sex with no feelings for either of them. 
I was about to find out as I turned my head, seeing her 
walking toward me.  I turned back toward the creek to 
hide my sudden indignity.  She stooped beside me, 
placing her arm around mine, squeezing.  I glanced a 
little smile unsure how to react.  She said something 
and I looked at her shrugging my shoulders, indicating 
I didn't understand.  She pointed back at Komi and 
Yam Nah and said something.  I shrugged my shoulders 
again.  She reached her hand between my legs and 
pretended to stroke me.  I now understood what she 
was saying.  I shook my head yes, and turned my head 
away ashamedly.  She reached and took my cheek, 
turning me to face her.  She caressed my arm while 
smiling.  I now knew she had approved or had known 
what had taken place, and somehow that released my 
sense of guilt. 
I leaned over and kissed her, and then put my arm 
around her body, squeezing.  She laid her head on my 
shoulder as we peered over the rustling water. 
"I want you Brine," she said, surprising me. 
I continued looking over the creek, trying to grasp what 
she had just said.  Suddenly, a sense of reality overcame 
me.  It dawned on me that my circumstances had 
brought us to this point.  No matter what reasons I 
could give, my family, and friends would not accept 
her.  I know this, and am I willing to accept the 
consequences of my actions.  Could I accept all that I 
have seen here and not allow it to bother me for the 
rest of my life? 
My mind wondered back home.  Carol, my ex-fiancé, 
will finish her Doctorate in two years and begin her 
residency.  She is everything Lin isn't, except having 
cornered the market on beauty.  She is charming, 
elegant, sophisticated, and intelligent.  I wondered how 
she would react to Lin.  What would Steven and Karen 
say?  I knew all the answers to these questions, but to 
what the degree their disappointment would be.  
Mother, without a doubt had always envisioned me 
marrying Carol or someone like her.  I knew it would 
have the greatest impact on her and probably would 
act as if she had accepted it but I knew deep down 
there would always be disappointment. 
The rustling of the others getting up drew my attention.  
I stood, watching them get up securing their bedrolls 
and form a semi-circle to share their food.  A light misty 
rain had begun and I expected several downpours 
throughout the day. 
"Brine, come eat!"  Tae Thu said, waving at us. 
We sat with them as they doled out the rice and dried 
fish.  I tried a small portion of fish but it smelled rotten 
so I gave it back, drawing laughs among them, I ate the 
rice cake, and enjoyed it. 
Soon we were on our way, following the creek 
northeast, making sure to walk on the stony bank to 
cover our tracks.  I had led most of the way until I 
decided to search for another source of food.  Phon 
took the lead while I roamed the undergrowth away 
from the creek in search of roots. 
After finding several plants with edible roots and a 
large amount of wild berries, all of what dad had 
pounded into my head came to mind.  The years I 
spent hating him for drilling me as if I were one of his 
soldiers seemed to fade as I then remembered mom's 
words in her letter.  'Someday when you're out on your 
own all these things, your father has taught you will help 
you in life'.  Never did she or I realize it would be under 
these circumstances. 
I knew in my heart I had come over here to seek 
vengeance for my dad's death, even though deep down, 
I felt nothing but contempt for him.  He had stripped me 
of a normal life as other children, and no matter what I 
couldn't let it go. 
I hurried to catch up with the others and noticed Shen 
and Loi, the two youngest were missing. 
"Tai Thu, where are Shen and Loi?" 
"Loi go to john.  Not want to be alone.  She asks Shen 
to go." 
"How long have they been gone?" 
"Ten minutes." 
I stopped and looked back, wondering if they would be 
coming soon.  I wasn't too worried now, but with each 
passing minute, I became anxious. 
 "Phon, have everyone wait here, I'm going back to look 
for Shen and Loi," I stated. 
He stopped as I walked back a ways, looking in the 
thicket saying their names, Shen, Loi, Shen, Loi, but 
speaking in a normal voice.  A short while later and I 
knew I had gone too far so I entered the thicket and 
worked my way back up, not to far from the waters 
edge, keeping the sound of the rushing water within 
earshot. 
I had not gone far before I heard someone 
whimpering. 
"Shen!"  I said, seeing the upper half of her body.  
She was on her knees vomiting.  Loi was lying before 
her face down; her skin color was a light shade of 
purple.  Foam was dripping from Shen's mouth and I 
knew what had happened.  I grabbed a handful of 
mud and leaves, forcing it in Shen's mouth to absorb 
the poison.  I felt of Loi's pulse and found a faint one, 
and knew there was nothing I could do for her.  A Viper 
had bitten Loi and Shen tried extracting it by sucking 
it out.  I knew this was a no-no from Dads training. 
Shen began spitting out the mud and leaves and I 
forced a smaller amount into her mouth, making her 
gag and throw up.  I continued this several times until I 
knew it had no more affect.  I picked her up, carrying 
her to the river and returned to check on Loi.  I couldn't 
believe she was still alive after feeling her pulse again.  I 
knew it was a matter of minutes before she would die. 
I was worried about Shen and needed to administer to 
her.  Knowing what I had to do, I putt my hand over 
her nose and mouth.  Quickly I dug a shallow grave by 
hand and covered her. 
I ran back to Shen and began forcing her to drink an 
excessive amount of water, encouraging her to throw 
up again.  I didn't want her to move and elevate her 
heart rate so I picked her up and hurriedly walked to 
catch up with the others.  When they saw me, they 
came running.  I squatted, laying her down but holding 
her, explaining to Phon and Tae Thu what had 
happened.  They relayed to the others what I had said. 
"Where Loi?"  Tae Thu asked. 
"She's dead," I stated, bringing Tae Thu and Phon to 
silence.  Phon turned and explained to the others about 
Loi.  Several of them began crying, having been so 
close to her.  They asked to go back and bury her but I 
explained I already had and insisted we keep moving.  
No one questioned further as they each stood to leave.  
I asked the brothers, Kuun and Luc Bien to help carry 
Shen, and although she weighed less than seventy 
pounds, it was awkward carrying her along the uneven 
gravel creek bed.  They were more than willing as each 
of them took hold of her, but Luc insisted he would 
carry her first. 
Only time could heal her now.  I felt a sudden sadness 
for both Shen and Loi, but for some reason I felt more 
for Shen because she would still have to live with 
being repeatedly raped and physically abused for the 
rest of her life. 
We pushed on, nearing the Kwon Valley, designated on 
the map as much easier conditions to travel and 
heading us due east.  When we reach that point, Phon 
and I would turn back and once we arrived back at the 
river, I would begin mapping. 
Every so often, Shen would get sick again and begin 
throwing up all over again, eventually dry heaving.  I 
knew this would continue through the night and most 
likely all day tomorrow.  The odds were if she lived 
the first couple of hours, her chances increased, 
leaving me to believe she would survive it.  That was 
another bit of information passed on in my father's 
meticulous training. 
The following afternoon, after reaching the valley, we 
found a site to rest on the lower southern slope of the 
valley.  The foliage was dense, securing our position, 
and the incline was less severe with a natural spring 
creek flowing through.  It also allowed for a smooth 
area for them to stay comfortable for a day or two. 
 "Phon, would you call every ones attention toward 
me," I asked. 
As I asked, he had everyone to look my way. 
"Translate for me Phon," I said, and then began 
explaining.  "After we get a few hours rest, Phon, and 
I are returning to the river.  I must for myself, and 
you, map as many of the VC's weapons and food 
caches, and any tunnels I can find with Phon's help," 
I said, and was interrupted when Sian Moc began 
speaking.  I looked at Phon to translate what she was 
saying. 
"Sian Moc say she enter Colonel Shu's bunker many 
times.  Say she can show Brine where at." 
"Shawn Moc.  Did I pronounce it correctly?"  I asked. 
"Yes, Sian Moc," he replied. 
I looked at her shaking my head, and said, "No way, it's 
too dangerous.  Phon, tell Sian Moc I won't allow her 
to risk her life any further." 
She new by my expressions what I was saying and 
countered my objections as Phon interpreted. 
"Sian Moc say Colonel Shu do many bad thing to her. 
Make her take many soldiers at one time and cut her 
when she scream," he explained as Sian Moc walked 
up to me and removed her top, exposing her breasts.  
A sudden rage consumed my mind seeing she had been 
cut with a knife.  Her nipples were deformed and as she 
turned, I saw recent slash marks across her back where 
she had been beaten.  She slipped her bottoms down 
and exposed fresh marks on her butt cheeks where 
Colonel Shu had ordered his soldiers to beat her, just 
to hear her scream, saying it made him feel good 
watching.  I took her top from her hand and placed it 
back over her, feeling anger and sick to my stomach. 
I thought for a moment and then said, "I'm so sorry 
Sian Moc, and sure, you have every right to go." 
Without anything else being said, I went over to where 
I had laid my gear and rolled it out to lie down and rest.  
I had separated myself from the others so as not to be 
disturbed while they all gathered and talked among 
themselves.  The sun had just set and I figured two 
hours of sleep was ample, knowing I would have more 
time after reaching the river. 
"Brine kiss Lin?"  Lin asked, kneeling beside me. 
I looked up almost having fallen asleep.  I could make 
out enough of her to see that she was crying.  I 
reached my hand to the back of her neck and pulled 
her to me, kissing her. 
"Why are you crying?"  I asked, wiping her tears.  She 
put both arms around my neck and squeezed me. 
"Oh, you don't want me to go." 
"Yes, go." 
"You mean, 'no go'."  I said laughing. 
"Yes, no go." 
"Ah hah, so you're learning a little American." 
"Yes.  Tae Thu, Phon Dak." 
"When I come back, you should know many more 
words." 
"Yes," she answered, bringing me to laugh, thinking 
'yes' was the extent of her schooling. 
She stood up holding a finger up, asking me to wait, 
and then hurried away toward the others.  A few minutes 
later, she returned with Tae Thu, pulling her by the 
hand.  Both kneeled beside me as Lin began speaking to 
her. 
"Lin say she know you must go but she want you stay. 
She say if you die, we die too, have no place to go." 
"No one is going to die.  I'll be very careful." 
Lin looked at me sullenly as Tae Thu patted her knee. 
"Tae Thu, I'm a little embarrassed to ask, but you're 
the only one that can help me to understand Lin and 
the rest of you." 
"Oh yes, Brine want girl talk now!"  She answered, 
understanding me before I said anything. 
"You are very wise Tae Thu." 
"What Brine want to know?" 
"Why did Lin share me with Komi and Yam Nah?" 
She and Lin spoke together so she could explain. 
"Lin say she want you be happy.  She and all young 
girls say they want you be happy.  Lin very proud to 
share you, she want her friends to know how gentle 
Brine is." 
They began speaking to one another again and Tae 
Thu turned to me saying, "Lin want to ask favor." 
I looked at her precariously, wondering what it might 
be that she wanted. 
"What?"  I asked, keeping the same expression. 
"Sian Moc a very special friend.  Sian Moc want kill self 
many time.  She feel she no good to any man.  She was 
very pretty girl before VC took her.  She think now she 
never have man to love her." 
The more she spoke the more I was getting the idea of 
what she wanted.  This was beginning to be more than I 
could comprehend.  How could anyone think this way?  
I laughed to myself thinking, how this would go over 
with American women.  I couldn't imagine one girl in 
the states that would share their boyfriend, much less 
their husband with anyone for the sake of friendship. 
"So Lin wants me to help Sian Moc to become a woman 
again?"  I asked, waiting for Lin's response. 
"She say candles come from Sian Moc.  She gave all she 
had to help Brine when sick." 
I wasn't even going to try to understand all of this and I 
definitely wasn't sure if I could do what she asks of me, 
but I couldn't bring myself to say no, at least to her face. 
"Brine need sleep now.  Answer all questions when you 
come back." 
"You're right.  I should get some rest," I replied.  
Tae Thu stood after patting me on the leg, and walked 
away. 
"Brine rest?"  Lin asked, opening her top and letting it 
fall back to the ground.  I lay still, gazing upon her 
breasts, anticipating more.  They were perfect, small, 
but perfect with tiny nipples.  She stood, kicking her 
sandals off and then slid her bottoms down almost 
teasing me.  Maybe she was teasing me.  If so, it was 
working.  I began removing my flight jumpers while 
under the poncho. 
She squatted, pulled the poncho away, and straddled 
me, leaning forward until her breasts were within 
inches of my face.  I pushed the poncho away and 
placed my arms behind her back, pulling her breast to 
my mouth, sucking it like a baby.  She squirmed, 
pressing them to my face as I took turns sucking on 
each. 
 Carol, the only girl with whom I had ever had sex, 
came to mind in a flashback.  Due to our lack of 
experimenting, the missionary position was my only 
tried method and after a few times, we became 
complacent and any other variation was untried.  I 
remembered, she never teased me, even though she 
had flawless soft skin, and her beautiful sexy body 
oozed of sex appeal.  I found Lin to be all of this and 
more, seductive, playful, caring and original; all rolled 
into one.  However, in this war torn era, under these 
conditions, I knew she could never see herself as I 
imagined her. 
She began pressing her cunt against my stomach while I 
continued sucking her breasts.  I felt the moisture 
from between her legs spreading over my skin as she 
moved her cunt over me.  I reached behind the cheeks 
of her ass and pulled her cunt apart, pressing two 
fingers from each hand into her.  Her cunt was tight at 
first but expanded as I slid my fingers in and out.  She 
began rotating her hips, grinding her cunt against the 
friction of my fingers.  In the fervor of my enjoyment, 
I released her and slid my hands over her body up to 
her breasts, squeezing them. 
I released her breast, placing my hands on her hips, 
and adjusted her cunt onto my prick.  I began thrusting 
my hips, slowly at first, and as our humping became 
rapid, her grunts echoed louder.  Her head began 
rolling, causing her flowing silky hair that normally 
touched her lower hips to flop wildly, tickling my face, 
arms and chest, exciting me further. 
Her fingernails pierced my skin as she clutched my 
shoulders, bringing a mixture pain and pleasure as she 
balanced herself atop me.  Each of her breasts bobbed 
in different gyrations as I eagerly watched her bare 
body, stimulating my thoughts. 
Repeatedly, I thrust my hips; building the excitement 
within my body to the point, I knew I was about to 
come. 
"Song tinh, song tinh," she mumbled as her breaths 
became short and rapid. 
I quickly reached my arms around her, pulling her body 
to mine as I exploded my juices into her, grunting, "Oh 
yes, yes, oh god that feels so good."  I buried my prick in 
her, holding on until the sensation completely died 
down and then released her, allowing my arms to fall 
freely, resting.