This is my running treatise on what I believe in where sex, romance, and especially childlove are concerned. It will be updated as new issues arise, and as I have opportunities to clarify my positions, change my mind, or address an issue I haven't thought of before.

     A conscientious childlover, like any conscientious lover, cannot stomach the thought of harming their partner. Sometimes harm can be quite indirect, such as the emotional anguish likely to be suffered by a child who is in a consensual relationship which is illegal. Not only must the child hide their affection and beliefs, but if the relationship is revealed, often the child will be brainwashed into considering themselves a victim. Not only does this mark them for life as "damaged," but it is unnatural. They are forced to take happy, healthy experiences and see them as sick or violent. This cannot be done without coloring their perceptions of all consensual romantic activities. If one pleasurable night in bed was wrong, aren't all? The child can find nothing but a superficial distinction between their childhood experiences and their adult ones, so to comply with the pressure to be a victim they must see all eroticism as dirty.

     So a childlover is put in a strange position. What are the chances that a relationship with any given person would be found out? Would the younger partner be able to resist society's influence, or make a good show of playing along without really falling for it? Is the childlover responsible for protecting the one they love from these repercussions?

     I'm sorry, but I really can't answer this concretely. My mother took wonderful care of me sexually, and I'm fine today. Most kids in consensual relationships don't do so well because they're found out. Generally, I advise against any relationship that breaks the law, even when both parties are truly in love. The harm that comes when the relationship is found out will destroy both lives, and taint the child's outlook on love forever. Society has to change. A change in the law would be necessary too, but that alone doesn't mean a safe environment. Some European cultures are very accepting of childlove compared to the United States, even when they are wary of the practical issues. When the law changes (if it can change), adult-child relationships will be relatively safe. When the culture changes, hopefully they'll be safe, open, and celebrated. But safety is paramount, and today it can't be guaranteed.