A pedo blog 1: introductions.

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This is not a story. The purpose of this blog is simply to let
out thoughts. To let out `honest' thoughts. Everything in it is
the truth, with no embellishment and no lies. I'm not even sure
what direction it will take, but it will go where my nose leads
me, which is to say my `feelings'. The feelings I speak of are
paedophilic feelings. I was not entirely comfortable saying that,
outside the confines of fiction. Pedo fiction, of which I've
written quite a bit, somehow distances one from the reality. That
reality is that I love children.

When I say `love', I mean am sexually attracted to them. Maybe
that's the fullest meaning of love. I mean, most adults find
children `cute', and would even venture to admit `pretty'. I,
however, find I can get a hard-on at the sight of their
prettiness. That's something different: supposedly it's a kind of
faulty wiring. I'm sceptical of that, which is a theme I will no
doubt return to. For now, suffice it to say this is a kind of
confessional. The tone I shall take is as if this is a kind of PA
club: Paedophiles Anonymous.

Hello, my name is Mark and I am sexually attracted to children. I
imagine the chairman of the meeting encouraging me to be `more
honest', to put it more directly: I am a paedophile. Aside from
that being uncomfortable to say, I dispute that it is totally
accurate. I have paedophile feelings, but I also like adult
females and teenage females, so I'm only part-paedophile at best
(or at worst). Further introductions: I am 45, and have had these
feelings since about 32 at a significant intensity, but much
earlier than that in flickers. I do not personally believe I was
born that way, but I may be wrong. It's kind of `grown on me'.
Chiefly it is girls I like, but I do harbour thoughts about boys.

Most important of all, I have not acted on any of this, except to
fantasise and do a lot of surreptitious staring at girl-children
I see. There's a real-life group who call themselves `virtuous
paedophiles', committed to keeping their hands off actual
children and sharing their agonies with each other for support. I
suppose I'm sort of like that, except I'm not into the guilt side
of it whatsoever. Sod that. I feel no guilt, only frustration
that my dreams cannot (and will not) be acted upon.

To complete this intro to my depraved self, I'll summarize the
details of what I dream of. My favourite age of girl is the 8-11
age range, although sometimes I feel it is 12-16. It's a
different kind of fruit, and depends on my mood. If it was
allowed, I would do `everything' with a 9-year-old: vaginal, anal
and mouth penetrations complete with ejaculation. I'd kiss her in
every way, fondle and grope, generally adore and lust over her
naked person. I could also `do' younger, down to about 4 years
old at the most extreme. This does feel kind of sick or quirky to
me, though, and I think my abuses in that direction would be
`tentative'. Details in another instalment.

If I was given free reign, I believe I’d molest a girl-child
gently for the most part, perhaps experimenting with and enjoying
a bit of ‘force’ (more later). I suppose there is inherently
‘force’ in it, anyway, if the experts are to be believed. A child
cannot ‘consent’, so the theory goes, therefore is in essence
being forced into it. Perhaps that is part of the thrill of it:
knowing that it’s taboo, hence a power trip.

Yep, conclusion: I'd have sex with a girl under 12 at the drop of
a hat 1) if it were allowed or 2) if I could 100% get away with
it. The only mystery for me is how exactly that so-called 'sex'
would go, and how it would vary from child to child and age to
age, and my mood to mood. It would be one hell of a voyage of
discovery - for her too of course - that's for sure. I shall
begin to explore those details next time.

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Email me at any time to discuss contents of these blogs, or you
can suggest a theme or angle for me to take in the next blog.
Ep1968@hotmail.co.uk




  
Pedo Blog 1