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 MIN-JU.
   Frustrations of a piano teacher.
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   This is the second in my series of autobiographical vignettes on the
weekly frustrations of a piano teacher.  Here we have a distinct contrast
to Lucy (the first), in that this specimen was older and much closer to
what everyone in all honesty (sanctimonious hypocrites aside) would have to
regard as `sexual age'.  Also, she was of South Korean extraction, hence
her name.  `Min-Ju', said exactly as it looks, but might have been spelt as
all one word, or would that be the Anglicised version?  I'm not sure to
this day.  The thing that matters to a guy like me is that it evokes great
cuteness.  Min-Ju was 12 at the time of teaching her, and truly a `tween'.
It was that age when you just do NOT know how to take them: childlike, yet
clearly with a sexual coyness emerging, and a body that was young-womanly
yet too small to really be that.  The effect was exacerbated by the fact
she was a little ahead of her age in this aspect.  Most white girls who I
have taught tend to be thinner, less developed.
   We shall have to consider this development in depth, for it was a huge
part of my enthusiasm for her.  A preteen child is sweet and attractive in
every way to me (I'm 42 now) - I'd explore sex with one, for sure - but am
always conscious of it feeling `quirky'.  Some call it sick.  I guess it IS
a deviant thing, being not in line with nature.  A 12-year-old such as
Min-Ju, though, hell - an entirely different ball game.  Many people call
this paedophilia also, but they do not know what they're talking about.  If
we must give it a name, it's `hebephilia' = attraction to early pubescents.
With Min-Ju perhaps it bordered on `ephebophilia', if we are to be
forensically precise = attraction to full adolescents.  At any rate, what
it comes down to is that the guy (me in this case) sees aspects of ripeness
in her, finds it cute, and if he's honest he knows he'd be able to fuck
her. `Able' in the sense of being able to get and keep an erection, but not
as in being able by law, of course.  Well, Min-Ju taught me basically that
preteen is nice, but pubescent is better!  If pushed, I'd take this age
over, say, a 9-year-old.
   `Development' being a relative term, her tits were small.  She sure as
hell had them, but they were modest handfuls, if only I'd been allowed to
handle them.  Sometimes I was able to sneak a glimpse down her front - the
interactions of piano teaching often enable this - and make out the light
brown flesh and blossoming little cleavage.  Truly delicious, they'd have
made perfect mouthfuls, and sucking on them as a whole and licking the
nipples would feature highly for me.  At times, there in her house, my mind
burned with the concept of `sucking a 12-year-old girl's tits'.  What man
would not want to do that, really?!?  Another thing I burned with was the
thought of slipping my hand down the back of her, feeling her arse and
sticking my middle finger up it.  This was because her hips and buttocks
were where the most distinct development was, delineating her from
`childhood'.  There was a broadness and depth there, and clearly
super-smooth and fresh judging by the bum-crack views I sometimes got when
she was parked on the stool in her summer shorts.
   I don't think she had any inkling of these thoughts of mine, but I
cannot be sure.  She clearly had a fledgling vanity, often presenting
herself with beautifully combed sleek black hair.  Quite often, it was
freshly washed: was that specially for me, or just after-school routine? 
It smelled lovely, even from a couple of metres away, and sometimes I
commented it on in cautious throwaway ways.  For example, "I can smell
shampoo - oh, is it your hair?" The memory plays tricks.  Did I ever
actually lift any of it - again, in some casual way - and play it between
my hands or stroke it in a borderline sensual way?  I certainly thought
about it.  Too indiscreet, I think.  If she told parents of this, even in
passing, it's the kind of thing that would seem dodgy.  It's a pity,
because I am sure she would have liked this kind of attention.
   This brings us on to her personality.  Now, Min-Ju certainly did not
dislike the lessons like Lucy, much less dread them.  For a start she was
talented, and already on quite a high grade when she came to me, which
makes teaching immensely less frustrating.  In her quietish - but slightly
cheeky - way, she was confident.  She expressed interest in me, as a
person, perhaps even - no, certainly - as a man.  It's undeniable, no
matter how proper and puritanical you are, that a girl-man one-to-one
teaching situation carries a different edge to man-boy.  This is assuming
both are heterosexual, of course.  I know I am, and I am as certain as
certain can be that Min-Ju was.  It stood out: innocence combined with an
awakening erotic awareness, and a very healthy and natural feminine libido.
She once noticed and remarked that I'd had a haircut.  This speaks volumes,
I feel.  Furthermore, she only said it in the privacy of the lesson, after
mother was out of the way.  I liked her personally as well as sexually, and
I think she liked me in her way whatever that was.
   Perhaps I'm reading too much into things, but I feel sure that, free
from the constraints of modern law and society's programming, such little
personal nuances - almost `flirts' - would soon have been worked up into
just that: flirts.  They would escalate in sexual overtone, she would feel
flattery, whilst a cross-generational friendship would build up.  Her
curiosity would burgeon.  This would be in-part verbal, in the sense of
off-topic conversations about life, love and marriage.  She was a nosey
little so-and-so, given the chance, I think.  She would definitely have
been interested to hear details of my marriage.  That might have put the
brakes on any teacherly seduction she dared to contemplate, though, but on
the other hand maybe it would have encouraged her even more.  I can't be
sure how much `badness' she had in her to go along with her blossoming
sweetness.  It's all hypothetical, as I never dared pursue these things.  I
am speaking, of course, of that awful buzz-word: `grooming'.  Well, how I
would have loved to have `groomed' Min-Ju.  We'll leave aside the debate
whether such a thing is necessarily immoral, or whether it can carry a full
expression of consent from so-called child, for another time.
   I'd like to continue to speculate on my hypothetical nurturing of this
12-year-old Korean piece of loveliness.  We have to imagine freedom from
socially-imposed taboos, like some paradise island or post-apocalyptic
setting where it is just me and her, or even just a liberated society where
adults and minors are free to explore.  I'm an attractive enough guy for my
age, and I was 37 at the time of teaching her.  So, no problem at all, I
wager.  Well, I envisage the conversations and flirts turning to more
physical things.  My actions would have the chronological sequence
something like...  strokes her hair - rubs her shoulders - holds her arms -
strokes a hand - brushes her cheek - pats her back - rubs her back - my
hand on her bum - fondles breasts through clothing - sniffs her hair -
kisses her head or cheeks - my hand inside clothing up her back - inside
clothing gropes of her tits - hand down back of shorts/knickers (sparingly,
though, as this would certainly seem crude to her - hand inside front of
knickers - vaginal fondling - clitoral masturbation of her which she comes
to enjoy, even `demand'!  - oral sex on her, both vaginal and anal.
   Tied in with all the above, I would be incrementally introducing her to
an adult male body.  First, maybe just talk about it - `teaching' her, as
it were, other things besides piano - things such as how an attractive girl
causes erect penis.  She has certainly already heard this, if not seen it,
but it would carry educational weight coming from me, I expect.  Perhaps
more surprising to her, I would affirm that "Heck, yes of course a
12-year-old girl, such as yourself, causes my erect penis." Her curiosity
irreversibly stoked, and free from draconian prohibition, she'll first
observe it inside my clothing.  Perhaps next I'd invite her to feel it, and
later I'll get it out.  She can see it, in the flesh, and bit by bit gather
up her nerve to touch it, warmly encouraged by me.  I'd invite her to
masturbate me, of course, to return the compliment as it were.  With
amusement and coyness both, she'd give it a go, in time getting perfectly
used to it.  Semen would be a hurdle to get over, but get over it she
would. Everything is merely sociologically perceived shame.  Well, I can
dream can't I?  A full-on sexual relationship with a 12-year-old Korean
girl, steadily breaking down all carnal barriers.  The ultimate is
unprotected vaginal intercourse, of course, which is indeed what the human
sex drive is all about.  Technically, a 12-year-old girl and 37-year-old
man are just as `made for this' as are two same-age adults, especially if
her bleeds have begun.
   That's another thing: I bet she had an awesome little fuzzy snatch, if
only I'd got to see it, most particularly `feel' it.  Most particularly
fuck it.  I speculate on how fucks would go with her age and size.  It
would not quite feel like paedophilia, but related to it.  She'd be short
beneath me, her legs well parted, perhaps coaxed apart by me.  I'd be
cradling her head, able to kiss her forehead as I carefully but surely
achieved penetration below.  6 inches of adult stiffness going into
12-year-old virginal vulva - hmmm, yes, awkward, sensitive, but very
feasible.  I'd feel like I was in a clam, I'd be groaning in ecstasy at my
ejaculation, and the aftermath would ooze out of her.  Perhaps she'd
surprise me by initiative, deciding to sit astride my lap or insert herself
on my prone body to achieve her first fucking?
   The reality, alas, was far more prosaic and bland.  Talented though she
was, she was rather lazy and hair-brained.  She did not practise as much as
one of her level ought to.  She and her mother expressed the aim of taking
another exam.  I persuaded them grade 7 was too much of a leap, and she
should do grade 6.  Eventually I backed down, though, the mother was so
insistent.  Min-Ju tried grade 7, but never focused enough to learn the
stuff, and after a few weeks the mother wondered if this was too difficult
(!).  I said yes, we should really settle on grade 6 after all, so we did.
Soon after, I got a phone message saying they were quitting lessons with
me. Some excuse was given, which I forget.  I suspect I was being blamed
for incompetence, though, on account of `dithering' and putting her forward
for the wrong levels.  Sheeks, how do you deal with such people?  By
spanking or bum-fucking the daughter perhaps?  That would do nicely.
   These are the true thoughts of a male piano teacher.
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   Feedback welcome to ep1968@hotmail.co.uk, especially any guys with
thoughts on how they'd like to help me in the lessons, preferred ages, and
what they think of Asian.  
  
Min-Ju - Frustrations of a Piano Teacher