Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience. 100 REMINISCENCES OF A MARRIAGE TO A CHILD. Foreword. 100 Reminiscences of a marriage to a child is a work of fiction, and as such for the purposes only of fantasy, not intended to condone or encourage paedophilia. It is set on a fictional island community, where child-sex is legal, and told from the 1st-person viewpoint of a 39yo man who has taken a child-bride. It is a series of reflections, 250 words each. Reminiscences 81-90. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 81. On the use of mouth. I must admit I'm drying up a little, which is why I haven't updated reminiscences for some time. There's only so many ways you can talk about sex, even if it is that singularly quirky form of it - `sex with a child'. I never tire of that phrase! It has so much power in it: it immediately evokes the mismatched body sizes, the concept of a man being naked with a little girl, the insinuation that this situation gives him an erect penis (and believe me, for me it does!), thus the imagery of that erect penis and how it must contrast unnaturally against her immature but pretty little body. Finally, of course, an outside must wonder if there will be penetration attempts and semen. I've covered all this previously, and the answers are of course `yes'. Also, they might wonder what other nuances there are such as characterise conventional sex. `Kissing', for example. Does the adult KISS the child a lot, on the face, mouth, genitals - in carnal ways as well as the sweet and innocent affections of any adult-child relationship? The answer again is yes, yes and yes. In my case anyway, ABSOLUTELY I want to kiss the child - my Amy, now 11 years old - during sex sessions. In my book it's part and parcel of paedophilic attraction. Therefore I'm going to devote entries 81-90 to covering all aspects in which I use my mouth with Amy. This incorporates kissing, licking and sucking, tentatively even biting. 72. On Biting. Let's deal with that first, even though it doesn't really come first. There are times when my passions run so high - her child presence and body turns me on so much - that I feel I want to `bite' her. Usually there'd be a lot of build up before it comes to that. Fondles, gentle pecks, sniffs and licks would come first. My cock gains hardness, I'm fully tuned up to `sex with a child' (that phrase again!). The inclination to bite doesn't occur until then, because it's an overtly sexual act, I believe. Kissing is not, necessarily - I mean a parent kisses a child all the time, even Aunts and Uncles, and there's no sex in it - but biting... well, who the hell would bite a child unless there's some kind of quirk behind it?! Let me stress at this point that it is not hurtful biting, and there's no intention to draw blood. There is, however, an edge of vampirism to it. Paedophiles are kind of vampires, I always feel (but this doesn't mean we're evil). I love the very `smell' of Amy: her skin, her hair, that natural child aroma they have. There certainly is a subliminal urge to rip her neck open - it's a cute part of her - but you resist the urge to wound, and end up sucking or biting very gently. Other places I tend to bite are her little cheeks - adoring her lovely face - her chest, her tummy, her inner thighs and her buttocks. 73. Kissing and the sex borderline. A great deal of kissing is not sexual. That applies to my relationship with Amy - honestly it does! - as much as the general world. A passing kiss on the cheek of a child, or perhaps her forehead, marks many a parental show of affection. I guess if it was not a family member doing it eyebrows would be raised. Thus, even those delicate little moments I enact on Amy are arguably sexually motivated, regardless of whether sex takes place? Not sure. All I can say is there are plenty of times during a week where I'm kissing her because I care for her and like her, and I'm not chasing or planning sex at that moment. A kiss or peck on the nose, which I sometimes do (as does a parent) suggests `more' affection, or playfulness? It's subtle, isn't it? Then, what of a kiss on the lips? Even more intimate, obviously, yet some parents still might do it in full propriety. I've heard it argued a parent should NOT do this, however. I think it depends: how lingering is it, how much saliva present? If a Dad doing it to his daughter gets a stirring in his cock (and I'm sure sometimes they must), then it's case closed! As for me, I know I'm getting sexual with Amy when I start planting kisses more slowly, frequently and exploratively. I might be holding her face tenderly in position, gazing at her, or stroking her hair. 74. Licking. There's no question it's `perverse' (in normal culture) if licking starts to take place. No adult does this to a child unless they like her in more than a neutral way. I do this with Amy, quite a lot. It's usually taken in good humour, especially these days, although earlier on it was part of the almost overwhelming canon of sexual molestation that she had to adjust to as a 9-year-old. I'm not just talking `intimate' licking - although that looms large in my desires - but mere licking on her cheekbones for example. I think this is one thing that differs from adult consenting sex: adult lovers just would not tend to do this, it's silly. With a child lover, though, you want to. It's a way of expressing your quirky attraction to her cuteness, her adorable little face. It's a way of tasting her tender skin, and enjoying her freckles (Amy has them sparingly) as though to lick them off! Soon comes mouth: I love licking her on the dainty child-mouth, across the lips and around the nose. Even her eyebrows and forehead. Indeed, I have some sessions where I focus only on face-licking, and trace every contour clockwise. I've been known to cum during this (I might be having her wank me simultaneously). Of course - OF COURSE - I lick her genitally a lot, seeking the taste as well as contour of it. Likewise, her girl-child buttocks or the anal crack itself are places for liberal use of my tongue. 75. Sucking. This is a more rigidly defined matter, so to speak. `Sucking' is almost synonymous with cock-in-mouth, in other words fellatio. Needless to say I relish that as part of my sex life with Amy, as does virtually any paedophile, but here I'm only concerned with sucking which I enact on HER. If the child is a girl, then the repertoire is obviously limited. Nevertheless, a vagina - more correctly, vulva - can be `sucked' as opposed to licked. It's a lovely way to `celebrate' the unique intimacy of child-sex. Her entire genital area (hence me specifying `vulva') is easily taken in by my mouth. Indeed I have to pucker my lips to get a good seal on the labial geography, always a delightfully precise act. It's then a question of enjoying the contact of my lips and tongue on the hairless skin that is a preteen vulva, sampling its smallness and detecting the tight slit by oral touch alone. If I'm sucking rather than just licking, it tends to mean I'm trying hard to taste her. It's a wonderful way to affirm the basic freshness and cleanness of a child, but if there's a hint of piss all well and good: it's SUPPOSED to be an intimate act. The only other part of her for sucking is chest. The focus is on the latent breasts: at 11 she has none to speak of yet, but I enjoy trying to suck what there is. 76. The art of paedophilic kissing. Here I'm specifically talking about mouth-kissing. That is to say, kissing the mouth of a child in a way that is completely sexually-focused. An overall, honest affection is present but the moment is one of sexual arousal. I'm drawn in by the loveliness of her face, by that miniature beauty and innocence, albeit an innocence I have long since obliterated. I wish to kiss that face, blue-eyed and framed by golden hair as it is, and thence to the taboo eroticism of her mouth. At first it is pecking, lips to lips, tracing the finery of hers and establishing how our sizes relate. I might `orbit' her mouth, enjoying her chin and nose, building up anticipation for myself. Then I begin to get serious, asking a sensuality of her which is really beyond her. I attempt various angles of mouth-lock and invade her with my tongue. Suddenly it hits me I am French-kissing a child, exquisite young Amy. I've drawn her into a life which most children in the regular world do not experience until they are, well, `not children'. I bury my guilt, and tell myself I must enjoy it: it is, after all, an expression of how much I like her. I seek her throat. I salivate and encourage her to salivate too. A child's breath is not 100% fresh, as you might think, but this is part of the thrill. I sometimes ejaculate doing nothing but this, even if we are not naked. 77. Kissing as part of love-making. That is to say, as part of penetration of her child-vagina with my adult penis. This is taken for granted as part of consenting adult sex. Of course they often fuck without kissing, but if any kind of affection is present there'll almost certainly be kissing too. To my mind there's nothing hotter than a loving married couple kissing like there's no tomorrow as their humping builds up to fevered cum up her vagina. Except perhaps an adult-child couple kissing whilst fucking. This does not come naturally, though. Firstly, as I've explained elsewhere, the penetration has to be tentative and controlled. Secondly, the body-size contrast means her face is not automatically on hand for kissing. The position has to be `created', whenever I wish to kiss whilst fucking her. The best way by far is to be sitting whilst she squats or kneels around my waist. Here I can kiss and grope at will, whilst still being able to concentrate closely on getting my erection into her little vagina. It can be done, however, in classic missionary but I have to contort my torso down to her level whilst not losing the connection at our genitals. The benefits of managing to kiss are psychologically significant. It distracting from the `bland rape' aspect of it, putting it into a context. It may be hurting her (I try hard to minimize that though) and it will finish up messy, yet she experiences that I am `loving' her. 78. `Pleasuring' her. This is a huge reason for using, as an adult, one's mouth during sexual activity with a child. She must come to see it as a recreation (albeit with some challenging moments), and she must experience distinct pleasure at least half of the time. She must not see it as simply a collection of assaults and penetrations, or objection and demoralization can set in. The pleasure can come in the form of the `playfulness' of certain positions and actions, such as grind-humping her bottom, or it can be specific sensations she feels. The most obvious and important of these is genital stimulation. From the age of 9 even, she could experience nice feelings from clitoral attention. Of course fingers can do this, but doing it by mouth is more `worshipful'. I am humbling myself to her, and she is left to absorb the amazing fact that I treasure her body so much that I am willing to put my mouth THERE. We enter into dialogue as to how she feels, and how I can improve it, and I reassure her that this part of her tastes just fine. Any inherent sense of shame she may have had was, I discovered, amongst the easiest things to dissipate. The confidence for her to moan came a little later, but now at the age of 11 the sound of her voice as I lap and peck at her hairless little anatomy is one of the sweetest things in the universe. 79. My mouth on Amy's anal regions. I'm not going to deny that I kiss and lick her arse. This would be the height of shame in the regular world of course, ruinous to a guy's reputation. It's about the most perverse thing one can do, aside perhaps from sodomizing her. However, here on pedo island I can be open about anything. Furthermore, Amy herself perceives it as more intimate still (than vaginal oral). She has had to overcome disturbed feelings about it, but this was easily achieved by letting her see how I gain guiltless pleasure from it. She understands now that it is a sign of how `special' she is to me, and she's learnt to enjoy the basic silliness of it, and it of course does not hurt. Also, brief spontaneous kisses to her buttocks during or after sex sessions (when I've already cum) are a humble way for me to affirm affection to her. She sees these as playful now, but it took her longer to get relaxed about me licking in her anal crack. For both our sakes, she has a very reliable clean in there before a session. A bit of lingering piss on her vagina is just fine, but not so with the anal equivalent: nasty, and humiliating to us both if it happens. For the record, her bottom now at 11 is still small and gorgeously tender, but has a bit more feminine perkiness to it than it used to. 80. A little summary of mouth-action. I'll attempt to itemize all the ways in which I use my mouth with Amy. I think it varies quite a lot amongst paedophiles (obviously all the more so between girl and boy enthusiasts), but there are common core features. Casual pecks of affection - head, forehead, cheeks, nose, lips. More studied, sensual kissing of her face, crossing the taboo line. Licking her face - forehead, cheeks, freckles, mouth. Nibbling her ears. Kissing, sucking or gently biting her neck. Kissing, licking or sucking her chest (breasts, such as is). Kissing her tummy. Kissing, licking or gentle biting of her thighs. Cunnilingus - with intent to give her juvenile orgasm. Licking or sucking her vulva for my pleasure only. Casual kisses of her bottom. Focused kissing, licking or biting of her buttocks. Licking her anal crack (I stop short of rimming). Many of the above actions can be undertaken separately, as an end in themselves, or as combined with wider sex. Typically, kissing her during grind-fucks or penetration attempts, and having her masturbate me whilst I kiss her in some fashion is very common. Above all, I have found mouth-work to be a fascinating way of exploring the boundaries of innocent affection and paedophilic affection and how the two intertwine. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Feedback and discussion welcome to ep1968@hotmail.co.uk. Webpic of girl who inspired 'Amy' available on request.100 Reminiscences of a marriage to a child (81-90)