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 100 REMINISCENCES OF A MARRIAGE TO A CHILD.
   Foreword.
   100 Reminiscences of a marriage to a child is a work of fiction, and as
such for the purposes only of fantasy, not intended to condone or encourage
paedophilia.  It is set on a fictional island community, where child-sex is
legal, and told from the 1st-person viewpoint of a 39yo man who has taken a
child-bride.  It is a series of reflections, 250 words each, posted 10 at a
time.
   Reminiscences 61-70.
   * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
   61.  Would you be allowed to live on pedo island?
   Here I present the questionnaire of application, which every would-be
settler has to complete.  Answer the 14 questions HONESTLY using only
`yes', `no', or `unsure/possibly': no point lying, as the real thing is
done verbally, and with a lie-detector!
   1.  Have you ever willingly sexually touched a child (under 12yo) when
you were over 15?
   2.  Did/would you regret this ethically (leaving aside any legal
repercussions)?
   3.  Have you ever willingly sexually touched an adolescent (12-16yo)
when you were over 18?
   4.  Did/would you regret this ethically (leaving aside any legal
repercussions)?
   5.  Would you approve of an age of consent of 14 in your country?
   6.  Would you approve of an age of consent of 10 in your country?
   7.  Would you approve of an age of consent of 6 in your country?
   Assuming all child-sex were legal...
   8.  Would you like to engage in sexual activity with a 12-15yo?
   9.  Would you like to engage in sexual activity with a child under 10yo?
   10.  Could you at least be tolerant of non-violent paedophilia going on?
   11.  Would you coerce her/him (verbals or light hitting) IF NECESSARY to
have your way?
   12.  Do you have a DESIRE either to humiliate, upset or hurt a child?
   13.  Do you consider yourself either a bisexual or heterosexual
paedophile?
   14.  Are you interested in `being in love' with a child rather than
merely lust?
   [Scoring system in entry 70].
   62.  On kissing.
   In a nutshell, I never tire of this.  I never tire of kissing Amy.  I
find it possibly the most thrilling of paedophilic interactions.  I speak
specifically of kissing her on the face or mouth - `sexual' kissing, that
is, as opposed to kisses which could pass as innocent and proper in my old
world.  In a way, even ejaculations and penetrations are not `better' than
kissing, since they are by nature finite events, suddenly over and leaving
behind that dull feeling of shame.  Not so kissing, which can be sustained
indefinitely, carrying with it an expression of both affection and lust. 
It is subtle, it is beautiful, and it is hard to encapsulate in mere words.
With a preteen child, it is extra-special, so sweet and taboo.  My heart
palpitates when I lock my mouth onto her little underage mouth, feeling the
sheer softness of her lips and her small warm breaths.  It never fails to
give me an erection, or at least a partial one, and of course this proves
beyond doubt that my feelings are essentially sexual even though they do
include the `genuine affection' that adults feel for children.  At the same
time, as I peck at her face, stroke her hair and delight in gently rooting
my tongue into her mouth, it patently shows that it is more than simple
lust.  It feels utterly natural yet taboo that affections for a child
should spill over into `sexual', and kissing captures this wonderful
contradiction.
   63.  Kissing `other children'.
   I have to ask myself, would I feel the same [as 62] when sexually
kissing other girl-children?  I feel sure the answer to this is `yes, very
much so, but not exactly.' Any pretty child stirs in me a desire to kiss
(and other things), and I would feel some of the same tenderness as I do
Amy.  However, their personalities vary just as do adult females, therefore
the nature and degree of love I feel for the child would vary just the same
way as men prefer certain `types' of adult female.  In a nutshell, if a
9-year-old is reasonably `good-looking' (by the standards of other
9-year-olds) I would gladly kiss her and fuck her, and the rest of it.  I
might not fall in love, though, if she does not have a personality that
captures me.  This is why FACE is so important to me, as it is the window
on personality, and contains what you might even call her `latent sexual
aura'.  Amy's face clearly showed to me that, in addition to blonde
prettiness, I would be getting a kind, mild-mannered though fairly
strong-willed girl.  Exactly what I wanted for a marriage scenario.  I have
no doubt there are many other girls I could love almost as much as Amy, but
very few I could love more.  The nature of my kisses and other sexual
interactions with them would reflect this.  The more love, the more time
spent kissing her face.
   64.  Contexts for kissing.
   In my life with Amy, kissing is a multi-functional thing, with many
overlapping purposes.  This can be confusing for her, even now after 18
months of sexualisation and approaching the ripe old age of 11.  A peck on
the cheek, or even the lips, can be a simple little show of affection such
as arriving home.  A lingering kiss on the mouth may be `something more',
but still not necessarily the initiation of `sex' per se.  Sometimes an
entire love session may be ONLY kissing, and with clothes on, such as side
by side on the sofa in front of the TV on an evening.  It might build up
from friendly nuzzles on her neck, leading to my adult tongue invading her
mouth, whereupon she responds as best she can.  It might go no further than
this, or it might include me groping inside her clothing, or having her
`handle' me or even masturbate me to completion as I snog her.  As I kiss
her, sometimes there is intent to take things further, whereas sometimes it
just `happens' as my paedophile intensity sparks up.  Also, not least,
kissing is of course part and parcel of a full sex session.  Naked in the
bed, or laying on the floor in front of the fire, it is rare for me to
build up to any kind of consummation with her without kissing.  A major
objective in year 2 has been to ejaculate in her vagina at the same time as
French-kissing [68].
   65.  Amy's perception of kissing.
   I spoke above of Amy's confusion at kissing.  This is common to any
preteen child being sexualized.  Everybody `likes' a little light kiss, so
long as not delivered by somebody extremely ugly, or a total stranger
without warning perhaps.  It can represent the innocent affection of
friends, or the love of a child for their offspring.  Children
instinctively understand this, but they are far less sure than an adult
about where a kiss is something `sexual'.  I found that one of the first
things that taught 9-year-old Amy was `repetition': if I kept pecking at
her face, she begun to get the idea it was `sex', and typically giggled or
squirmed a little.  Mouth-to-mouth, she definitely understood was sex, and
found it `difficult' and overbearing until she got used to it.  One thing
she found very difficult to understand was when this type of kissing should
lead to the naked and penetrative stuff, and when it shouldn't.  It was
difficult to explain to her that `it depends'.  I think it confused her no
end in her grasp of platonic love, sexual love and lust if I delicately
pecked her forehead just after completing a fuck of her.  This is because
there was often `some' element of pain for her vagina even if I was my most
gentle.  Also, if I was panting or grunting like an animal at the time, in
her child mind this did not sit with the concept of `caring kissing', I
guess.
   66.  Teaching Amy to `give back'.
   Kissing a child is sweet, we all agree.  SEXUALLY kissing a child is
awesome, most paedophiles would agree.  However, if the child can `return'
the kisses, or the emotions of them - or even INITIATE them - it takes
things to a whole new level.  I devoted a lot of attention during sessions
with Amy to teaching, encouraging, occasionally cajoling her to do just
this, to the very best of her ability.  I was, in effect, extracting the
full sexual potential from her child soul.  Progress was steady, with ups
and downs on the way, but Amy's fears were slowly pared away as she adapted
to adult behaviour `before her time' as it were.  The process was quite
complex, and I can but summarize some steps:
   She angles her face willingly to receive kisses.
   Establishing routine of a little `welcome home' kiss.
   Encouraging her, nicely, to give a periodic kiss when not expected.
   To give ME face-kisses on her initiative during sessions.
   She opens her mouth nicely to accept Frenching.
   She contributes responses with her tongue.
   Getting her to be more touchy-feely when kissing.
   Masturbating her whilst kissing, to reinforce pleasurable feelings.
   Finger-penetrating her whilst kissing, to associate full sex with
`niceness'.
   Encouraging her to kiss confidently when in naked sessions together.
   She offers kisses even when undergoing challenging penis-penetration [eg
68].
   Finally, to kiss me AFTER my ejaculations: it lessened my guilt, whilst
teaching her that intimacy and orgasms=love, despite the mess.
   67.  Kissing elsewhere on the body.
   Few paedophiles would limit their kissing to face and mouth only, but
inevitably want to kiss anywhere and everywhere on the child's body too. 
I've met some guys on the island, indeed, who kiss cunt or arse but hardly
face or mouth at all.  I am NOT one of those: if you love the girl, rather
than simply perverted lust, then you surely want to kiss face and mouth. 
With me and Amy, about 20% of my kisses were mouth, 20% face (include ears
and forehead), 15% twat (include inner thighs), 15% bum (including crack),
15% chest (perhaps more as she got her breast buds), and 15% neck (love
that!).  It's hard to make this into an absolute science.  For example, a
fetish of mine was sniffing at her sweet blonde hair a lot [see,
`child-smell'], and this would morph into kissing it.  I tended not to do
it for long, though, since strands of hair in the mouth is not the greatest
sensation.  Also, it tends to turn into kissing her head, which in turn
leads to kissing forehead.  Therefore, it's all really part of the facial
kissing thing.  Being `wide-ranging' with my kissing was a huge part of
integrating affection with molestation, until the two were indivisible for
her.  At one end of the spectrum, the sweetness of a kiss on the cheek.  In
the middle, the intimacy of French-kissing.  At the other end, the base
crudity of kisses in the anal crack.
   68.  The ultimate integration of kissing and sex.
   That sounds like a very technical phrase, but it encapsulates the most
natural and simplest of things where two adults make love: kissing each
other during the final moments of penetrative sex.  If in missionary
position, it practically `makes itself happen'.  With a girl of 10 years
old, however, it is not so simple.  Even where patient nurturing has
established the feasibility of basic `fucking', the contrasting child and
adult physiques obviously do not line up right.  In missionary, this is
experienced very candidly, although the very `incompatibility' is part of
the fun [see 51].  On a chair it can be done, her young legs spread around
my waist whilst my face is angled steeply down upon hers, kissing. 
However, the position par excellence in my opinion is having her kneel
around me whilst I am seated on the sofa.  It's similar, but she is a tad
higher and we can face each as `equals', in a kind of perverse pretence of
no age-gap!  As she passed 10 years of age, practise has enabled us to get
my erection about half into her, and her pro-activeness in kissing has
improved.  Also, my hands are free to stroke her hair or grope her bottom.
Often there is laughter with her little grimaces of concentration, and it
gives her an element of control and collaboration in the deed.  Nothing
beats having my tongue in her mouth as my semen is exploding in her vagina.
   69.  The `69'.
   What else should I talk about in entry 69 other than a `69'?!  I
explained earlier how this delightfully intimate sex act is `awkward' if
your partner is a child.  I also went into various ways I tried to
compromise, but here I recount one instance of where I felt it succeeded
`perfectly'.  It was well over half way through our second year, and Amy
was a few weeks away from her 11th birthday.  By this time she was
obviously well-used to my penis in her mouth, and ejaculations in it,
although the latter was not her favourite thing.  The position was Amy on
her back, hanging her head off the end of the bed, requiring me only to
arch my back a little and keep a secure grip on her young thighs.  With her
lips and jaws substituting as a damp little vagina, the ever-present
temptation was to bang her face and drill her throat with adult force. 
Gentle to the last, I resisted, and nor was deep-throat attempted at all. I
maintained a controlled rhythm of short thrusts, whilst my wife's acquired
mouth skills brought me to ecstasy with the help of her hand to control
depth.  With my tongue operating like the most exact surgical instrument on
her labia, slit and clit my shaft spurted like a geyser inside her mouth.
She even managed a slight orgasm of her own - once upon a time those little
moans would have been distress - and to swallow the lot.
   70.  Did you pass the ENTRY TEST to pedo island?  [questions in 61]
   A score of 2,1 or 0 is given for each of the 14 questions, making a
maximum score of 28.  A basic pass is 15, and following this your
acceptance for citizenship would still be subject to meeting 2 of the
following 3 criteria (or one of them `outstandingly'): i) you have funds of
$200,000 to donate ii) you have a sufficiently attractive female under 16
years of age to bring with you, who would have to give herself sexually on
a regular basis iii) you have a useful trade or skill to offer.  A `merit'
pass is 20, and you would only have to meet one of the criteria.  An
`elite' pass is 25, exempting you from all 3 criteria.  ALL citizens, once
accepted, have to pass the `Citizenship Test' [see entry 81] within 6
months or else face expulsion.  The mark scheme of the Entry Test is given
below, the scores for yes, no, unsure/possibly for each of the 14
questions:
   Q1.  2,0,1 // Q2.  0,2,1 // Q3.  2,0,1 // Q4.  0,2,1// Q5.  2,0,0 // Q6.
1,0,2 // Q7.  0, 1, 2 Q8.  2,0,0 // Q9.  2,0,1 // Q10.  2,0,0 // Q11. 
2,0,1 // Q12.  0,2,1 // Q13.  2,0,1 // Q14.  2,0,1
   I scored 21, and got in because I am an English teacher, which was
deemed useful enough in addition to the $75,000 I had to offer.
   * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
   Feedback welcome to ep1968@hotmail.co.uk.  Webpic of girl who inspired
'Amy' available on request.
  
100 Reminiscences of a marriage to a child (61-70)