Oh, break out the duct tape
And a few two by fours
It's christmas in Alabama
Time to get busy, oh lord

We need three plastic Santas 
To put out on the lawn
And seventeen extension cords
To turn all the lights on

I'm getting a new spit cup
For my honey so sweet
And saint nick's bringin' me
A new set of front teeth

The younguns is all excited 
Till they just can't sit still
Mama loves em all so much
She went back on the pill

Grandpa's bringin' his guitar over
We'll all dance, sing and clap
Don't let him talk the younguns
Into sittin' down in his lap

I'm gettin' me a new chainsaw
And two pair of thermal socks
An' I got ma some new panties
With a hole in the crotch

It's christmas in Alabama
It's time for the snow
So get the kinfolk together 
And pack up the Pinto