AWAKENING

INTRO 
My beginnings; the names and personal details have been
changed, but guaranteed 99% true.

AWAKENING

I was an only child, but I grew up in a large extended family
with many aunts, uncles and cousins. I spent a lot of time with
my grandmother on my mother's side and often stayed at her house,
sometimes for a week at a time. She lived one town away from us,
a 10 minute drive by car and near enough for me to ride over by
bike. My grandfather had died when I was very young, but my
grandmother, though quite old, was still vigorous in those days.
I was the youngest of her grandchildren and her favorite.

My grandmother had 6 children, 2 boys and 4 girls. They were
all married and had families of their own except for Jessie. She
must have been about 40 and still lived at home. Jessie did not
speak and had not spoken for over 20 years. She was not dumb,
there was nothing that physically prevented her from speaking,
but she never spoke to anyone, at least not in front of me. Now
and then she would utter a word or two in a small bird-like
voice, a verse from a song, an expression, a bit of remembered
conversation, but it wasn't directed at anyone in particular, and
you could hardly call it speech. Mostly she was silent.

This seemed less odd to a child than it might to an adult.
Jessie was healthy in other respects. Like my mother and her
other sisters, she had a strong, graceful build with thick dark
hair. I enjoyed watching her tend the garden or work in the
kitchen, her long, dark pony tail swaying behind her. Other than
not speaking, she seemed pretty normal; occasionally she even
drove into town for groceries or gardening supplies. As a young
boy, I tried to get her to speak a few times by asking her
questions, teasing and prodding her, but she ignored me. She had
stopped speaking around the end of high school and was simply not
interested in starting up again.

Jessie had her own room in my grandmother's house. At one time
she had shared it with the rest of the girls, but now it was all
hers. The room had a pair of beds, a pair of dressers and a
chair. When all the girls had lived in it, each girl had half a
bed and half a dresser to herself. The whole room wasn't much
bigger than my room at home, which I had all to myself, so it was
no wonder they were anxious to leave.

I usually slept with my grandmother in her big double bed, but
occasionally, my grandmother would put me in Jessie's room, and
Jessie and my grandmother would sleep together. I looked forward
to those times. There was the excitement of staying in a room
that was occupied by a mysterious person, and there were 2 beds
to choose from. The room itself had a pleasant, faintly floral
smell that seemed to come from Jessie's clothes.

Shortly after my 10th birthday, my parents went away for a
long weekend, leaving me at my grandmother's after school on
Friday. My grandmother announced that I would be sleeping in
Jessie's room, and I went to bed after dinner and quickly fell
asleep.

I woke up early the next morning. The alarm clock said 5:30
but the sun was already up; it was late Spring. I had been
awakened by a noise in the room. I heard the groan of some
floorboards and the creaking of a dresser drawer. I cracked open
my eyes and saw Jessie taking out her clothes for the day. I
turned over and went back to sleep. A bit later, perhaps no more
than half a minute, I rolled over and opened my eyes again.
Jessie was still in the room. She was pulling her nightgown over
her head. I saw it rise over her thighs, past her waist, over her
chest and up over her head. It happened so fast I wasn't sure
what I was seeing until she stood in front of me naked.

My family was not prudish about nudity or physical matters,
and on occasion, I had dressed or even bathed with one or another
of my aunts or cousins. But I had never seen Jessie naked before,
in fact, I had never even seen her in a bathing suit, and the
sight was shocking. I don't know exactly what I expected, but it
was not the body of a perfectly formed young woman. Jessie's face
was 40 years old and reflected a lifetime of private sorrow, but
her body was firm and unlined, the body of a beautiful 18 year
old.

Her arms were strong and graceful. Her chest was golden in the
morning sun. Her breasts were full and round but they barely
sagged. In the center of each was a lovely brown circle that
contained a dark red nipple. Her waist curved inward in a
gorgeous arc and curved out again to wide hips. Their shape
delighted me. In the center of it all was a tangle of dark hair
that covered...what? I knew there was a slit there somewhere, but
it was covered with hair. I did know that I was seeing something
dazzling, beautiful and rare. Jessie stared out of the window,
letting the sun warm her skin. Her body seemed to glow from
within.

She began to lightly rub her chest. I had no idea what she
could be doing, but it looked as if she felt itchy and might be
scratching herself. As her hands roamed over various parts of her
body, gently touching and stroking her arms, legs, stomach and
buttocks, a pink flush spread across her shoulders and chest.

Now she concentrated on her breasts and something magical
seemed to happen. As she touched them, the lovely brown circles
around the nipples grew smaller and seemed to rise, while the
nipples themselves grew longer and thicker and stood out from her
breasts. Every so often, she pinched one or the other of them and
shivered.

I began to feel a strange sensation in my legs and groin. The
whole area felt warm and very pleasant and I noticed that my
penis had gotten much bigger than normal. In fact, it had gotten
hard and was standing straight up. I recognized the feeling. I
had felt it before, when I had found one of my grandfather's
magazines in an old desk in a shed. The magazine was filled with
pictures of naked women. It was divided into sections, and each
section was devoted to one or two of the women. The pictures
depicted a supposedly candid sequence; the models had been caught
unaware at some activity that required them to partially or 
completely undress, like bathing or trying on clothes.

Despite the obviously fake setting, or perhaps in part because
of it, these women seemed so beautiful they took my breath away.
Looking at them had made my heart pound and my penis get big and
hard. All this was accompanied by a strange sweet feeling that
made me want to keep looking at the pictures and feel my penis
get bigger and harder. I had wondered if my grandfather had liked
to look at the magazine, too, and if it had made his penis hard.
Now I recognized the magazine feeling and realized that it must
come from seeing the body of a beautiful woman, and for the first
time I realized that Jessie was truly beautiful.

Now Jessie concentrated on her breasts. She walked her fingers
across them, squeezing them in her hands, rubbing the nipples
with her palms, and tweaking them. Jessie had many ways to
manipulate them. She stroked them, pulled them out, swirled them
round and round. She twiddled them with her fingers and rubbed
her fingers rapidly over the tips, and then she would begin
again. Periodically, she would squeeze one or both nipples
between her fingers, and this seemed to relieve something,
because she would sigh and pause for a moment. And then she would
start over again.

My penis had become very hard and the feelings in my groin had
intensified. I had no idea what the feelings were leading to, but
I struggled to keep still, afraid that any movement would draw
attention to me.

Then something amazing happened. There were two identical
dressers on opposite sides of the room. Each dresser had a
smooth, curved ridge about halfway up that ran across the front
and sides. At the corners of each dresser, the ridge formed into
a round knob that stuck out a couple of inches. Jessie backed up
against the corner of the nearest dresser and leaned against the
knob. She eased herself onto it as if it were a tiny seat and
began to rub the area between her legs back and forth over
it.

It took her a while to find the right position, but when she
did, she seemed to enjoy the rubbing a great deal. She began to
sigh and breathe deeply as she rubbed, and once she had settled
into it, she was able to confine the movement to her hips,
rocking them back and forth and squeezing her legs together. This
left her arms free to play with her breasts, and she pinched her
now very elongated nipples between her fingers. Periodically, she
made a grunting sort of noise, while her face grew red and her
breath quickened.

Jessie was so occupied that I thought it would be a good time
for me to adjust my position. I rolled over onto my back and let
my knees swing outwards. This felt more comfortable and gave me
better access to my groin which now felt so hot it almost burned.
I reached down and held my penis, which was still very large. I
had no idea what had happened to it, but I felt an urge to close
my legs around my hands, and when I did, my hands were squeezed
up against my penis and the strongest and most beautiful feeling
surged through my groin, up and down my legs, and over my entire
body. My hips began to move uncontrollably, and I could not help
but thrash around on the bed and cry out, and as I did the covers
fell away from me, exposing my naked body in the throes of my
very first climax.

Jessie turned her head and our eyes met. I don't know if she
had forgotten me. She smiled a mischievous smile that I had never
seen before, and she nodded her head, or perhaps her head bobbed
up and down of its own accord, because the next moment, she shut
her eyes tight and her face contorted in a grimace and she seemed
to clutch her body with all her might. She made those grunting
sounds and ground the bottom part of her behind into the curve of
the dresser, clutching at her legs as if trying to press them
harder against the dresser.

I don't know how long this went on for. It seemed like a long
time, though it was probably less than a minute. Then Jessie
relaxed, leaned against the dresser and sighed deeply. I closed
my eyes, rolled on my side, and pretended to be asleep. My penis
was still pulsing. The feelings were dying down but every so
often another wave of the sensation surged through my groin and
made me gasp involuntarily.

A minute more must have passed, and then I felt someone
pulling the covers over me. Jessie was still naked and a strange
musky smell seemed to come from the hairy patch between her legs.
She covered me with the blanket. I had no idea what had just
happened, but somehow, I knew that it had happened to both of us.
I felt it must be an extraordinary gift that Jessie had given to
me. I stared at her and tried to thank her with my eyes, and then
I fell asleep.

I was awakened when the intense feelings returned. It felt
like it was going to happen again. I had rolled over in my sleep
and pressed my penis against the bed, and it had rubbed against
the sheets in my sleep. When I stopped pressing, the feelings
went away, and when I started up again, they returned just as
strong as before. This is how I discovered how to masturbate. As
I continued humping the bed, my heart began to pound in my ears,
my breath speeded up and those ecstatic feelings surged through
my crotch again and burst through my entire body. My legs shook
and I couldn't help but push my penis into the sheets, and it
seemed to explode into spasms of bliss. I heard myself grunting
and crying as my hips slammed into the bed. Finally, the spasms
ended and I lay on the bed panting, trying to catch my breath,
and at last fully awake.

During the rest of my visit, Jessie ignored me, but I was
aware of her presence in the bedroom, the faint, musty smell
coming from the ridge on the dresser that she had rubbed against.
I slept in her room the second night and woke up early in the
morning to wait for her, but she didn't come. She had taken her
clothes out the night before. My visit ended without any further
activity.

During the summer, I stayed over at my grandmother's several
more times and naturally I looked forward to more experiences
that would give me those wonderful feelings. Nothing happened.
Jessie stayed in her room and inside her shell. Perhaps that one
time had satisfied whatever desires she'd had. Or maybe she'd
acted impulsively and would never do it again. In fact, although
I knew the feelings were connected to the magazine pictures and
to Jessie's naked body, I didn't fully understand that they were
under my own control and I could make them happen by myself.

Months went by, and I longed to see Jessie's graceful body,
with its dips and curves and beautiful circles around her nipples
and that mysterious thatch of black hair between her legs.
Finally, I asked my best friend Ronnie for advice. Ronnie was
tough and practical. He had a stash of those magazines, and at
11, he already had a girlfriend, Maeve. He had taken Maeve down
to his basement and she had let him feel her up. Or so he
said.

Ronnie advised me to be direct, to make a pass. "What can you
lose? She's not gonna kill you or anything." This was generally
Ronnie's attitude towards life; try it, who knows what might
happen? But how could I, a 10 year old boy, make a pass at a 40
year old woman? "Walk up behind her and put your hand on her ass.
If she doesn't take it away, you can rub it around a little, see
if she likes it."

We formed a plan for my next visit. Assuming that I slept in
my grandmother's bed, I would get up early in the morning and
find some excuse to visit Jessie in her room. I imagined myself
standing next to her, both of us gazing out of the window at the
sunrise. I would reach over and put my hand on her ass. I
imagined how it would feel, warm and resilient, kind of like my
ass. Then I would gently squeeze it. If she accepted this, I
would reach around with my other hand and feel her breasts. That
was as far as I got, I had no idea what came next.

Soon after, I had a chance to put the plan into action. My
parents went away for a weekend and as usual, I stayed over at my
grandmother's. They dropped me off on Friday afternoon. I joined
Jessie out in the garden and watched her carry the watering can
up and down the rows of tomatoes. She wore sandals and a long
cotton dress. I passed the time imagining what she looked like
under her dress. She ignored me. After dinner, I went over to her
and said, "See you in the morning." She made no sign that she had
heard.

It was a long time before I got to sleep that night. I
listened to the cars driving by on the highway across the field.
I heard the breeze rustle the leaves outside the window. Finally,
the moon rose and a silvery light shone onto the coverlet of my
bed, and I drifted off to sleep.

And then there were sounds inside my room. It was morning,
someone was opening a drawer. I opened my eyes and saw Jessie
standing next to the dresser. She was silently taking out her
clothes, trying not to wake me. The only sound in the room was my
heart pounding like a drum in my ears. She put her clothes down
on the chair and turned away from me to face the window. Then she
reached up and slipped her nightgown over her head. She stood in
front of me completely naked, her rounded ass fully exposed, the
sides of her breasts visible from behind.

It is always good to have a plan, because it relieves you from
having to think. I sprang out of bed and stood by her side. In
the same motion, I put my hand on her ass. She started but did
not move away, and she did not move my hand away either. Her ass
felt warm and slightly nubbly against my palm. We stood there for
a few seconds, motionless, silent, staring straight ahead. Then I
moved my hand in circles on her ass. It felt warm but fleshier
than I expected. I put my hand on her other cheek and rubbed it,
too. I felt a slight answering pressure as Jessie leaned back
against my palm.

I stood there rubbing and gently squeezing her ass for perhaps
a minute. Jessie stared out the window, lost in thought. The
brown circles around her nipples had puckered and the nipples
stood out from her breasts, which seemed to have enlarged and
grown firmer. She reached up with both hands and twisted her
nipples. Then she took her breasts in the palms of her hands and
pressed them against her chest. She walked over to the bed and
lay down on her stomach with her hands under her and her face on
the pillow.

I didn't know if she was leaving me or inviting me to join
her, but I followed her over to the bed and put my hand on one of
her cheeks. I rubbed my palm over it and then over the other
cheek. Jessie ground her hips into the bed. I climbed onto the
bed and pressed both hands against her ass, leaning my weight
onto it. She pushed back and then rubbed her hips down against
the bed. She began to clench her hips and ass and rock them back
and forth, rubbing up against my hands and then back into the
bed.

My whole crotch felt warm and my penis was so hard that it
stuck straight out, pushing my pajamas out like a tent. I wanted
to feel it pressed against Jessie, so I lay down right on top of
her. My penis pressed between the fleshy cheeks of her ass and
lodged in a soft area that felt hot and moist even through a
layer of cloth. I was startled by the feeling and pulled back,
but Jessie gripped my penis between her thighs and buttocks and
continued to move in that odd rocking motion, pressing her hips
into the bed. When she pushed up, she lifted us both off the bed,
and each time she pushed her hips into the bed she grunted.

While all this was going on, my penis was pressed against the
warm squishy place between her thighs. The feeling was like
nothing I had ever felt before, tense, exciting and a little
scary, since I didn't know what would happen next. But I was
happy to let it go on because I loved the feeling of her warm
fleshy body pressed against me, and I was fascinated by her
movements. And then, while she continued to grind her hips into
the bed, her whole body tensed and began to tremble, and she
pressed herself against the bed as if she wanted to push herself
into it. She very audibly said, "Oh, Oh, OH!" and each "oh" was
louder than the one before, until finally, Jessie collapsed and
lay still. She was breathing audibly and her skin was wet. I
rested with her for a little and then I pulled myself up.

There was no hiding my erection now. It was bright reddish
pink and stood straight out. Jessie got up too. Her thighs made a
kind of wet sound, and I looked down at the hair between her
legs. It was damp and the tops of her thighs were slick. I looked
up at her breasts. Her nipples stuck out much farther than before
and seemed to have expanded. She stared straight at my dick, and
it pulsed in response. As I stared back at her, Jessie raised her
arms over her head, stretched and yawned.

I walked over to her and put my hands on her breasts. Her
nipples pushed against my fingers and I pressed them, rubbing and
then pulling them gently. Jessie's head fell back and she gasped,
"Oooh," and put her hands over mine. My penis rubbed up against
her leg. She pressed my hands roughly into her breasts, much
harder than I would have, as I rubbed my smooth fingers across
the tips of her hard nipples.

She stepped backwards and pulled me with her as she fell onto
the bed. I lay on top of her, my hands still pressed against her
breasts. And now she began that back and forth rocking movement
again, only this time we were facing each other and she was not
pressing her legs against the bed but against me. She parted her
thighs so that my penis slipped between them and rubbed against
the wet slippery place. The rubbing gave it that jumpy nervous
feeling, but it felt good and I didn't want to stop. Neither did
Jessie, because she kept going and going, and I could feel the
hot wetness slipping along the length of my penis. She began to
breathe loudly, "unnh, unnh, unnh," and then suddenly, the
feeling in my penis exploded and surged through my body, and I
couldn't help but groan with pleasure. She grabbed my ass and
pressed me hard against her, and she seemed to shake back and
forth as she cried out, "hunh, hunh, OH!"

I held her as my spasms continued and my penis pulsed and
pulsed until finally we both collapsed and lay still. We rested
again, and I may have fallen asleep. At some point, she got up
with her clothes and left the room. I lay under the covers and
slept. My penis, still very hot and hard, continued to pulse. I
didn't wake up until late in the morning. By that time, the only
evidence of what had happened was the feeling in my penis and
that unfamiliar smell that seemed to linger in the bed. I don't
think I even saw Jessie during the remainder of the weekend.</p>
<p>Although I stayed over at my grandmother's perhaps a dozen
times that year, the sex with Jessie was never repeated, and as
time went on, I thought about it less and less. Some events are
so far outside our experience that there is nothing we can do but
ignore them, and this is what I did. It simply didn't fit into my
life. I never mentioned it to Ronnie. When he asked me what had
happened, I told him that I had approached Jessie when she was
fully dressed and put my hand on her ass, and she had simply
walked away.

As I got older, Jessie declined. I spent less time at my
grandmother's and when I did see her, Jessie was even more
distant than normal. Eventually, she retreated to her room and
rarely came out. When my grandmother died, Jessie went to live
with her oldest sister, Jasmine, 3 hours away by car.</p>
<p>I visited her several times as an adult. By this time, Jessie
was quite frail. I would sit with her on the couch in Jasmine's
parlor, and she would let me hold her hand. She was silent,
inert, locked within herself. I don't even know if she knew who I
was. But when I squeezed her hand, she sometimes squeezed it
back. Perhaps she remembered.

(c) D. Singer 2003
singer@radiolink.net


  
Awakening