Child Brides of India
By C. Stanton Leman
Chapter 22: Aleeya (Mg, rom, no sex)
Meanwhile, at the park, Mom began to talk to Aleeya. She
asked her if her mother hit her like that very often, and
Aleeya got quiet. Mom said, "It's alright sweetheart,
you're not in any trouble, we just want to make sure you
don't get hurt any more."
Aleeya looking down, said to my Mom, "My mother doesn't
like me too much. She always says that I should have been a
boy, and that because of me, she'll never have the boy she
or Daddy wanted."
"How does that make you feel?"
"Sad, very sad.
I feel like they don't want me. Even though Daddy loves me,
he's not home with Mommy and me during the day. He doesn't
know she beats me, and when he sees my bruises, Momma just
tells him I'm careless and clumsy.
I heard him talking to Mom one night after I went to bed,
and he said that if he had a son, he could teach him to
help with his shop and help continue to build what he's
started. A girl is a burden on the family; you raise her
and she only leaves to help her husband's family."
"Why does she hit you?"
"Because I wet my panties. I got scared when I saw a big
spider on the wall and went pee pee on the carpet. She said
that she was tired of my going pee. I wet the bed at night
sometimes too, and she'd spank me every time I do it."
"I see," my mother said, "Do you think you might know why
you go wee in bed at night?"
"Because I'm afraid to be alone at night, and I'm scared to
tell her, because my mother and father don't like to be
disturbed when they go to bed, I try and hold it, but it
just comes out. I don't feel safe at night."
Aleeya started to cry and said, "She told me that I was a
bad girl, and that she was going to make me wear nappies
again because I was acting like a baby."
She smiled through her tears and said, "But last night, I
felt so safe and loved. I felt like a princess! Sean held
me in his arms and protected me, and I felt safe for the
first time in my life!"
"How do you feel about Sean, Aleeya?'"
"I love him! He's my prince charming and treats me like a
big girl!"
"What do you mean 'like a big girl'?"
Sean held me and said he would keep me safe, and that he
wouldn't let anyone hurt me, and he did. He held me close
in his arms and protected me. Guess what?"
"What sweetheart?"
"I didn't pee in my panties! For the first time since I can
remember, I didn't pee in my panties!
Sean makes me feel so special and tingly all over, and I
feel that he loves me and would never be mean to me. When I
sit on his lap and he holds me, its feels like no one in
the world will ever hurt me again.
I'm not afraid with Sean. I truly believe that if I had an
accident and went pee pee in my panties, Sean would still
love me and not hate me.
I hope you don't hate me, but I have to admit that I've
been a naughty girl."
Mom gave her a mock look of being a little angry and asked
her, "I won't hate you Aleeya, but how have you been a
naughty girl?"
"Well, at Priya's henna party, I heard you and Priya
talking about…. about secret things."
"What secret things?"
"You know, those things that mommies and daddies do?"
"Oh, those secret things. And what did you hear?"
"You know, you told her it was OK to be shy to show Sean
her boobies and her…. her…. coochie. And that she wouldn't
feel shy if she really loved him. That it's OK because Sean
will make her feel safe."
"That's right I did tell her that. When a man and a woman
get married, they don't feel ashamed or shy because they
love each other. A good girl will only show her body to the
man she loves."
"You were right, Sean saw my body, well…………….not all of me,
I had my panties on, but he saw me and I wasn't shy at all!
I felt so close to him as he held me in his arms, and I
wasn't scared at all! I felt like I belonged there and that
he was the only one in the world who could protect me."
"Is that why you want to marry him?
"Yes, Priya said that maybe someday she'd share him with
me. Beside, I have to marry him now."
"Why's that sweetheart?"
"Don't you see Auntie, he has to marry me now because only
my husband is supposed to see me nakie like that!"
"The word is naked," Mom corrected, "Let's pretend for a
minute what it would be like if you were to marry Sean,
you'd have to take ALL of your clothes off and then he'd
see your little pee pee, how do you feel about that?"
"Does Sean see Priya's pee pee all the time?"
"Yes Aleeya, Sean sees Priya's pee pee all the time."
"I wouldn't be afraid. Sean makes me feel safe and loved,
and I know he would never be ashamed of me or hurt me or do
bad or dirty things to me."
"But honey," Mom added, "Those things you think are bad and
dirty ARE bad and dirty if little girls your age let others
do these things, but they're things Allah has allowed
husbands and wives to do. They're not dirty or bad if
you're married and you do them with your husband. Allah
lets husbands and wives do those things because He gives
them a special, secret love to do these things in secret."
"What things?"
"They're secret things. We're not supposed to talk about
them unless we are married. If you were getting married, I
could try to help explain the secret ways husbands and
wives show each other their special love."
"Oh… would Priya and you let me marry Sean too? Can we both
be his wife and Priya and Sean could teach me these… secret
things?"
"I'm not sure baby. You're very young, and your body is
very small. Little girls your age aren't supposed to get
married until they get older."
"I'll be five next month, will that be old enough?"
"You should really wait until you can have babies."
"Oh please, Auntie, I can't wait that long, Mommy will hurt
me too much by then."
"Why don't you tell your Daddy? He loves you and wouldn't
let that happen to you.
"Daddy can't watch me all day long, every day. He works
very hard, and men think taking care of little kids is a
woman's job."
"Can't you stay with an aunt or have someone else look
after you until you're older?"
"Our family is poor. Uncle Adib is the richest in our
family. Sometimes, we don't even have enough food to eat.
Mommy can't spend money to buy me new clothes. She said
it's a waste of money because I pee myself all the time,
and she doesn't have time to wash all my, my… she calls
them 'my pissy clothes.'"
"I see…"
"Do these secret things that mommies and daddies do hurt?"
"Sometimes, when you do them the first time, but you have a
tiny body, and you may not be able to do these things yet.
All I can say, not to scare you, is that if your husband is
very gentle and loves you, it's a 'beautiful hurt.'"
"What's a beautiful hurt?"
"It's very hard to explain, it's like having a baby. There
is a pain so great, Allah has to help a woman bear it to
bring her baby into the world, but when that baby's born,
all that pain becomes a beautiful thing. When the time
comes for it to happen for you, you'll know what I mean."
"Sean just has to marry me, he wasn't ashamed of me, he
accepted me. And he's already seen me, what'd you say,
nekkid?
"No dear, the word is nay-kid: naked."
"Well, he's already seen me that way, so you've got to let
him marry me. Will you help me?"
"We'll talk about it later, I promise, OK?"
"Oh all right, but you know he's just got to, otherwise
I'll be what Mommy said would happen to girls like me."
Mom, not knowing what she meant, asked her, "What did your
Mommy say would happen to a girl like you?"
"She said girls like me turn out to be little pissy whores
that can't control themselves."
Mom just hugged her and cried.
Mom called me on my cell when she and Aleeya came home from
the park, to tell me the three of us had to talk and that
she'd have to put finishing planning Priya's party off
until tomorrow when Aleeya was back home. Mom was gearing
up to leave, and was planning a big birthday party for
Priya at our house. Priya invited most of her relatives and
was secretly planning, on the side, to make it a
combination send-off for Mom, as well as her birthday
party.
While sitting in my office, I began to have flashes of
vignettes of my mother from the last few months. I recalled
that night I met Priya with she hustling around the kitchen
without noticing I was watching her. I remembered that was
the first time I looked, as a man, at my mom. Her mature
beauty and figure made me proud to have such a lovely woman
as my mother.
I recalled her laugh, the way she's throw her head back and
let it flow so easily, her schoolgirl giddiness and
giggles, and her completely overcome with laughter. I
laughed out loud when I remembered her slipping to the
floor pissing herself in a laughing fit the night of
Priya's henna party.
I recalled her intuitive women's sixth sense when she spoke
seriously, like that day in the park when she cried softly
in a melancholy way as we talked. Again when she bolstered
me up in the kitchen after first meeting Priya. Her advice
to me on my wedding night, but most touching to me was when
she recently tried to reflect back the love she had for my
child bride with her heartfelt words for Priya to look to
the future.
Someone once said to pay attention to what people say, for
there are truths revealed in jest. I now realized for the
first time that my Mom had let me go. She had been treating
me as a man and not her little boy by joking about sex with
Priya and I. She was showing me the adult married woman by
sharing a tiny glimpse at her sexuality.
As I cried at these small glimpses of a woman I had,
throughout my childhood, taken for granted, going through
life thinking of her as sort of a non entity; she was just
Mom… Yeah, just Mom, and I now saw and felt exactly what
those three letters truly meant. Oh God, I'm gonna miss
her!
I got on the phone and called Dad. We talked business for a
few minutes, then I asked him if he knew of good custom
jeweler here in New Delhi. He gave me the man's name as I
explained I wanted to get Mom something special as a going
away present.
"I'm really proud of you Son, proud of the way you're
handling things for me there, but I'm most proud that you
have come to see just how special your mother really is."
"I know Dad, I've been seeing her a lot in my mind lately
and seeing it more and more. I'm gonna miss her and so is
Priya."
"Yeah, she's special all right. Don't be too sad, you've
got that mini dynamo as my proxy with you! Ha, ha, Priya'll
keep you busy I suspect. By the way, how IS my little 'chip
off the 'ole block' anyway?"
"Priya's fine Dad. She passed the eleventh grade in one
term and will graduate at the end of the year. Sarah's
doing well also."
"God that wife of yours is so smart, it's frightening!
How's married life?"
"It's great Dad. I can't imagine my life without her."
"I know the feeling, I really miss your Mom."
"And she's missing you. She joked the other night that
she's horny as hell so watch out; try not to let her give
you a coronary."
He chuckled and replied, "I know how she feels, and she may
be she may walking funny when you see her next."
"Dad, that's a little more information than I need."
"Sorry Son, it must be them there hormones or pheromones or
what ever they're called talking."
I made a lame joke by responding, "Yeah, they won't quiet
down until somebody moans, right?"
Dad laughed and said, "You got it!"
We spoke for a few minutes more and said goodbye. I then
called the jeweler and asked him if he could custom make me
what I wanted, and he said no problem. I gave him my credit
card info and hung up.
I left the office in time to pick the girls up from school.
When the girls got in the car, they acted funny. They
huddled together, whispering and occasionally looking at me
and giggling with hand-covered mouths. I just sat back and
watched them carry on. When we dropped off Haseeba and
Sarah, as Sarah was exiting the car, she grinned at me and
said, "You're a naughty man!" And trotted to the house.
Closing the car door, I looked at Priya puzzled and asked
her, "What's that all about?"
She grinned, giggled and said; "They know you like little
bald pussied nasty girls!"
"You told them?"
"No, silly, they were with me remember?"
"Oh well," I sighed, "I guess the cat's outta the bag."
Giggling she replied, "Yes it is, and de-furred too!"
Laughing I said to her, "You are a nasty little girl!"
"You trained me, remember? You ravaged and defiled me and
corrupted my innocence."
I laughed and said, "I'm proud of myself. I think I did a
damn good job, don't you?
"Wanna get nasty with me?" she purred.
"I'm at your command, Princess."
"Then suck my toes until we get home."
And I did just that (tickling her coochie a few times to
make it interesting).
When we got home, as soon as I was in the door I hugged Mom
tenderly. She gave me a peck on the cheek and asked,
"What's that for?"
"I love you, Mom. Just because I love you."
She looked at me like I'd gone daffy and replied, "I love
you too, Son."
As soon as Mom and I separated, a streaking little waif
bounded up into my arms. I didn't know a kid that small
could jump so high!"
Aleeya hugged me in a strangle hold and was giving me
pecking kisses all over my face and said, "I missed you so
much!"
Laughing, I replied, "I missed you too squirt! Now, let me
go so I can get cleaned up for dinner."
"OK, can I watch?"
Looking at Priya for approval, she nodded and said, "Come
on girl, you can watch, and then we'll say prayers, OK"
"OK," she said, "Let's go."
Priya, Aleeya and I freshened up, said evening prayers and
we ate dinner a little early. Priya said that she was going
over to Mahmoud's to discuss the Aleeya's situation.
After dinner when Priya was getting ready to leave, Aleeya
was watching TV and the three of us stepped into the study
where I asked, "Priya, seriously, what are we going to do
about Aleeya?"
"I'm not sure yet, Sean, things have taken a shockingly
unexpected turn"
"What do you have planned? I asked her.
"The only thing I can think of at the moment is to talk to
Uncle Mahmoud and try to find out exactly what's going on.
I suspect he has no idea what Aleeya's been subjected to.
If Aleeya is in any danger because of Aunt Tallie's recent
behavior, we'll have to work something out that insures
Aleeya's safety."
"What about Aleeya's childish fantasy about marrying me?"
"Sean you have to think of things in terms you're not
familiar with. You don't know my family that well. All you
see is the side everyone wants to project. Aleeya has
always been an unwanted child. In Muslim culture, a boy
child is considered a continuation of the family seed and
therefore has preferred status to girls. Uncle Mahmoud
loves her as his child, but desperately wishes she were a
boy. They married when Aunt Tallie was 10, and gave birth
at 12, her pregnancy and giving birth at such a young age
ruined her for any more children. Aleeya appears to be a
happy and contented child on the outside, but she's looking
for the same acceptance I sought, only for different
reasons. What those reasons are, I'm not sure of because we
girls aren't allowed to discuss such things."
"Tallie's only 16? My gosh, she looks like she's in her
twenties."
"Life's been hard on her, and Uncle Mahmoud hasn't made it
any easier on her. Uncle Mahmoud is a good and loving man,
but he thinks and acts like most Muslim men. My father has
never thought that having girls was a curse from God, and
he's loved us unconditionally. Uncle Mahmoud is jealous of
him because my father has attained a measure of success. I
believe that it's because my father is an honest and
upright man that Allah has blessed us."
Mom interrupted and said, "While we were at the park today,
Aleeya and I had a very revealing conversation. She
basically told me what Priya just said about her home life,
and that the poor child doesn't even feel safe in her own
home.
Her mother beats her for wetting herself when she's
frightened and she's so scared in her own home, she's
terrified to be alone at night and wets the bed, for which
she gets berated and beaten. Her mother has convinced her
she'll grow up to be, and I'm using Aleeya's own words, 'a
pissy whore who cannot control herself.' Mahmoud doesn't
know any of this and thinks the bruises are just from her
being a clumsy girl.
Priya hit the nail on the head when she said Aleeya has a
special affection for you Sean, but it's because she
intuitively feels safe and protected with you. She somehow
knows you won't let anything bad happen to her. She feels a
deep and genuine protective safety in your arms.
Priya, this is not a simple childish crush she feels, but a
definite loving bond. I was so astonished and amazed at how
methodically she was able to express her feelings and that
even at four, she feels she's found what all women dream
of; namely, someone who can accept her – even if she makes
a mistake and wets herself, she knows Sean would cherish
her unconditionally.
She also has the religious conviction that now that Sean
has seen her nearly naked, her honor would be blemished if
she didn't marry him, reinforcing her mother's insults that
only a whore would show her nakedness to anyone but her
husband. She also feels that because she loves Sean, she
feels no shyness or shame in letting him see her in such a
intimate way."
Priya and I looked at each other in shock for a moment, and
I asked Mom, "My God Mom, how do we deal with this? How can
we help Aleeya without shattering her spirit?"
"Sean, my heart aches for her. I've rolled this over and
over in my mind trying to figure out how she's come to such
a conclusion.
When I was in college, taking child psychology, I remember
when we were discussing abused children with emotional
problems. It's been observed that no one; child, adolescent
or adult, will ever change or get better unless they
believe that at least one person in their lives accepts
them. Then and only then can recovery occur. They need to
know that the mistakes they've made (or perceived to have
made), and the ones they will undoubtedly make during their
recovery, won't drive that person away.
It's always been a mystery to professionals how children of
a very young age, who, despite a lack of conventional
wisdom and maturity, intuitively formulate methods to
protect their "child within." This "child within" is a term
used in all fields of psychiatry; treatment for drug and
alcohol abuse, physical emotional and sexual abuse.
This 'child within" is a term referring to that pure spirit
within us all who's sole purpose is to give and receive
unconditional love.
For whatever reason, Aleeya has instinctively decided that
you can be trusted with her 'child within." True, she has
no concept of what being married means, what the duties or
responsibilities of a wife are, she only knows that a
marriage means being bonded to someone for life, no matter
what problems life may throw at her she'll always have you.
Children need a solid support system to endure great
hardship. Look at children with terminal diseases; with the
proper support, they show courage in dealing with the adult
reality of death that many adults can never cope with.
I have the feeling that she's very close to an emotional
breakdown if her life continues as it is."
Looking at Mom, then at Priya, I asked them both, "Mom,
Priya, just what can we do? Certainly, you can't be
suggesting I marry a four year-old baby?
What of the legal issues, we haven't even got Priya's visa
yet. What would happen if it were learned I'd married a
four-year-old? I'd go to jail, and they'd throw away the
key!
Priya and I haven't even started our own lives yet. I have
a company to run, Priya has school to attend; she's a baby
for Christ sakes, we'd need a babysitter to watch her
during the day while we were gone.
And what of our intimate life, Priya? How could we go to
bed alone, with a child in need of constant affection and
reassurance? I don't really want to share my time with
anyone else right now. I need our intimacy more than ever!
Just say, for argument's sake I was to marry her, how would
she react when we need time alone to be intimate? She'd
feel left out and that I cared for Priya more that her.
She'd again, be left to sleep in a bed by herself in order
for us to share time together. What are we to do? Make love
in plain sight of the girl right next to us?
By what she's revealed to you, Mom, she's curious about the
intimacy that married couples share. What are we supposed
to do, introduce her to marital sex? My God! I doubt I
could even penetrate her with my finger! This is
ludicrous!"
Priya looked down and said, "Sean, you could give her
pleasure without penetration."
Inside, I was I utter turmoil. The beast had been quiet
throughout this entire conversation, but the thought
flashed through my mind of the night I fantasized I was
taking Aleeya's innocence, and I shuddered at the thought.
Somehow, Allah was giving me the strength to see things
rationally and considering a child before my own demonic
lust, but the feeling of having her began to slowly creep
into my subconscious and I started to firm at the thought.
Mom said, "I'm heartbroken. I can't imagine you taking
another wife, Sean. For me, there's only Priya. And to top
it all off, having a four year-old baby as a 'daughter-in-
law' just makes me weep inside.
Priya, how could you even consider sharing your husband
with your cousin?"
"I know this sounds strange, Mom," She said softly," But I
know that the love Sean and I share will never be broken,
even if Aleeya was his wife. Does that make any sense?"
"No," Mom stated as she looked at her surprised, "The
thought of my husband being with another woman would be
more than I could bear."
Just then, I noticed that Aleeya was standing in the
doorway. I looked at her and asked, "What is it Aleeya?
We're having a private talk. Why don't you go upstairs and
take your bath, alright?"
"OK," she said, "But some one has to wash and dry my hair."
I silently shuddered inside at the thought of running my
hands over the miniature body of this child, touching her
in all her secret places. I fought with myself to rise and
take her for my pleasure, but Allah was gracious to me and
quelled my beast.
"OK, Sweetheart," I replied, "Some one will be up shortly."
I looked at Priya and said, "Would you go and get her ready
for bed, please."
Priya looked at me and then at Mom, then said, "She wants
you Sean."
"I just can't," I replied shaking my head, "I just can't
deal with that right now. Mom, if you saw that child's
body, you'd want to kill someone. Her tiny back and thighs
are one big bruise, and her tiny butt cheeks are actually
black and blue" I started to tear up, and Mom began to cry.
"Alright, I'll do it." She responded and left to attend to
Aleeya.
Looking at Mom, I implored, "I need your help Mom, what am
I to do? If I did marry her, Dad would disown me. He
probably would never speak to me again."
"Let's think this through rationally," she said.
"Rationally? What's rational about marrying a baby?" I
retorted.
Mom, looking at me as if grasping at straws, said, "Stop it
now. Take the emotion out of it. Now… we're only
speculating hypothetically, but IF you were to marry her,
it would be a Muslim marriage, only. You would need a
letter of guardianship from Mahmoud and Tallie. That way,
legally, she'd be your ward and not your wife."
"Yeah, and if it ever got out that we'd been intimate, I'd
still rot in an Indian prison!"
"That's if Aleeya told someone, which I don't think she
would if you explained the danger of anyone finding out.
You could also get her a US visa as a minor child, such as
an adopted daughter."
"Mom, Dad will figure things out eventually."
I think I can handle your father when the time comes, maybe
in about ten years."
'Dad's no fool. I don't think we can lie to Dad for ten
years and get away with it. Besides, do you want to lie to
Dad and keep something like this from him?"
I believe that I can handle your father, whenever the time
comes to tell him. You're right, I couldn't live a lie with
your father."
Mom, you're asking me to live a life of lies."
"Some lies are worth living for, Sean. You wouldn't really
have to lie; just not let the outside world know your
personal business for Aleeya's protection and to give her a
life of love and acceptance."
"What are you saying, Mom?"
"Let me tell you a story about your father. To this day, no
one has ever known about this, and don't tell your father
I've told you.
When he was serving as a squad leader in Viet Nam, your
father killed an American Lieutenant. He executed him by
shooting him in the head.
They were out on a search and destroy mission, and came
upon a hamlet that was suspected to be a staging point for
VC sympathizers.
They rounded up all the men and women in the center of the
village, and selectively shot many of them after finding
caches of weapons and ammunition in their huts.
After the shooting ended, a little girl ran towards her
dead mother and this Lieutenant shot the little girl. The
officer, hopped up on drugs, made the remark that he was
going to fuck the child before she got cold. He then
proceeded to rape the dead child's body.
The other men, not wanting any part of this, left; leaving
the officer with the dead girl's corpse. When the others
were out of sight, your father shot the Lieutenant in the
head, killing him.
Your father only did what every other man in his outfit
wanted to do, but didn't. It was never reported, and the
officer was listed as being killed in an enemy ambush.
I'm not condoning or passing judgment on what your father
did, but I believe he was right in doing it. Does that make
your father a murderer? Only God will judge his actions,
but I believe he did the wrong thing for the right reason."
"I never would have believed Dad could do that, he loves
life so much." I said sadly to Mom.
"Even in war, son, your father tried to conduct himself
with honor. Even though he feels, to this day, he brought a
measure of justice to a dead child whose name he never
knew. It still haunts him.
Your father treasures children and he believes that a child
deserves to find at least one person who can provide a
measure of hope and happiness in their life.
I had a feeling in the park, that day we sat and talked,
that I would lose you to this land, and I now believe that
your place in life is here.
That little girl loves you, not with the same all-
encompassing love and passion as Priya, but she sees you as
her shelter from the world.
I can't tell you what to do son, that's between Priya and
you. Listen to her and let her guide you. If anyone can
make this right for all of you, both her and Aleeya, it's
Priya.
I'll support you however the two of you decide. If I gain a
baby for a daughter-in-law, I'll accept and love her as one
of your wives and a daughter. Let Priya set the tone and
follow her direction as to how your lives will be from now
on.
I'll delay going back to the states until this whole ting
is worked out, OK?"
"I need to think… I'm going to the veranda."
Good night Son, I love you, and always will."
Thanks Mom, I love you too."
Continued in Chapter 23….
|