The Ugly One
Chapter Nine

I awoke with a start.  The circulation to my arm had gotten cut off and needles of pain were shooting through it.  I slowly extracted it and scooted a little back from Angie so I could shake and massage it.  She continued to slumber, unperturbed.

Watching her, I thought back to the night before.  It had been perfect.  In fact the whole courtship had been nearly perfect.  Things were going extremely well.

That thought caught in my throat.  Things never went this well for me, not like they did for the beautiful people!  I started to feel the panic in my belly.  I was suddenly sure that I’d blow things with Angie.  I tried to calm down, taking some deep breaths.  I was being irrational, I knew I was.  There wasn’t any reason I didn’t deserve good things too.  I kept trying to remind myself that I was a pretty decent guy, and that a woman like Angie would be happy to be with me.  I tried to avoid wondering what was wrong with her since she wasn’t running away.  It was irrational, I knew.

I concentrated harder on my breathing, forcing myself to physically calm down.  I was lucky to have Angie, I knew.  I’d had enough bad luck.  Wasn’t it my turn to have some good luck?  That thought comforted me.  I let my mind wander back to all the things that had gone wrong when I was a kid.  Yes, I deserved this after having survived all that.  I was able to calm myself down a little more.  Slowly, my pulse and breathing returned to normal.  I didn’t actually fall asleep again, but I know I dozed.

When I next awoke, it was from Angie snuggling into my side.  It was brighter, so I knew it must be morning.  Angie was only partially awake, her eyes still bleary when she opened them and smiled.  I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her close, as we continued to hatch.

As the room slowly brightened, Angie’s breathing became more regular and she started to slowly caress my chest.  She skimmed over the scars as if they weren’t even there.  I started returning the caresses, once again marveling at the touch of skin on skin.  Angie turned up and met my eyes.

“Good morning,” she said.

“Definitely a good morning,” I replied.

“Glad you stayed?”

“Absolutely!”

“Good.”

With that, Angie returned to running her hand over my torso, pushing the sheets aside as needed.  As she slid a little lower, the proximity stirred other things to life.  At first I was mildly embarrassed at my growing erection, but then realized that was silly.  She already knew what I looked like naked, what difference did it make whether I was hard or not?

After a while, it became clear that Angie was deliberately trying to provoke an erection.  As I got harder, she teased me more deliberately, dancing her fingers down and around but never quite touching my cock.  I groaned and Angie looked up at me.

“You’re up early this morning,” she teased.  I groaned at her pun and pulled her close for a kiss.  She returned it and stopped her teasing, wrapping her hand around my shaft.  The kisses turned hotter and soon I was reaching for another condom.  Once it was on, Angie pushed me on my back and straddled me.

Our sex was tender and slow.  Angie kept eye contact and she continued to raise and lower herself.  She leaned forward frequently to kiss me, until her hair cascaded in the way, and then she’d lean back.  Our sex was . . . I began to get a sense of where the term “making love” had come from.  Oh Gawd, could Angie actually feel that way about me?

Angie distracted me by leaning forward for another kiss.  I arched my back up and started kissing down her neck, searching for her breasts.  I was only able to find them for a moment before Angie pulled back, sitting up again.

“Switch?” she asked.  I nodded.  With a little bit of acrobatics, we maneuvered into the missionary position, and Angie wrapped her arms and legs around me.  I began to thrust, slowly, and then built up the pace.

“I want you to cum,” Angie whispered in my ear.  I pulled back and looked at her, surprised.

“Cum for me,” she repeated.  I nodded and sped up a little.  I soon began to gasp as my orgasm took me.  When I’d recovered, I pulled out and collapsed beside her.

“You didn’t orgasm,” I said.  Angie shrugged her shoulders.

“I came last night.”

“You didn’t come this morning.”

“That’s all right.  I really wanted to feel you have your orgasm.”  She gave me a quick kiss and then got up and headed for the bathroom.

“I believe someone was going to fix me breakfast?” she called, just before she disappeared through the door.

I nodded and got myself cleaned up and into the kitchen.  This time Angie watched me cook.  The conversation was pleasant, but I couldn’t keep thinking about the morning sex.  Had I blown it by not giving her an orgasm?  The way she looked at me while she was riding me--could she really love me?  I hoped that my distractions didn’t show and that my worries would fade with time.

They had only faded somewhat when a different problem popped up.  I was at work on Monday when my cell phone rang.

“John?  This is Lynn.  I need a favor.”

“Sure!  What is it?”

“It’s Billy.  The school called and said he’d been in a fight.  They wanted me to come down, but I have a test in fifteen minutes and Billy’s grandmother is in Portland this week.  Can you go?”

“Sure.”  My gut was already churning.  “Was he hurt?”

“They didn’t say.  It sounded more like he was in trouble and they wanted to talk with me about it.”

“Oh.  Then I definitely should go.”

“Thanks.  I knew his temporary babysitter wasn’t going to be up to it.”  I had to agree and we were soon off the phone.  I drove down to the school feeling a mixture of anger, fear, and dread.

I was immediately shown into the assistant principal’s office.  Billy sat in a chair to one side, swinging his feet and staring at his shoes.  I couldn’t see any obvious marks on him.  A stocky middle-aged man was standing up and moving around his desk to shake hands with me.

“I’m Mr. Henderson, the assistant principal.”

“John Grant, friend of the family.”

“Have a seat.”  He motioned to a guest chair.  I took it and looked over at Billy.  He’d raised his head and looked at me.  His lower lip was thrust out a little, almost trembling, but his eyes were fierce.  He remained silent.

“So what’s the problem?” I asked, once I’d gotten settled.

“It seems that Billy started a fight in the cafeteria today.  Apparently two other boys were picking on another student and Billy came over and punched one of them.  They exchanged a few blows before the cafeteria monitors could break it up.

“Who were the other boys?”  Mr. Henderson looked a little surprised at my question.

“Billy punched a boy named Jesse Jensen.  The other boys involved were Frank Carpenter and Ralph Shepard.”

“Ah.”

“Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt.  However, we can’t have students starting fights in school.”

“You said that Jesse and Frank were picking on Ralph?” I probed.

“They were apparently making comments about his weight and what he had chosen to eat for lunch.  However, teasing does not justify starting a fight.”

“Oh, please.”  I tried to keep my voice calm.  It wouldn’t do me any good to yell at Mr. Henderson.  “That wasn’t teasing, that was bullying.  Jesse and Frank have been bullying Billy and Ralph and their friends for most of the year.  You guys have done nothing to stop it and now you’re punishing Billy for trying to stop it himself.”

Mr. Henderson looked uncomfortable, but also determined.

“We can’t have students starting fights in school.”

“You can’t have kids bullying other kids either,” I shot back.  We stared at each other for several minutes.  Mr. Henderson’s eyes narrowed and his voice was more steely when he spoke again.

“In addition to starting the fight,” Mr. Henderson continued, “Billy kept yelling “poopy dog!” as he hit Jesse.  Billy won’t say what that’s about, but we don’t tolerate such language in school.”

“I’m afraid that’s my fault,” I admitted.  “I told Billy that training bullies was like training dogs.  You had to rub their nose in their poop when they shit in the wrong place.”  I quickly glanced at Billy and caught his mild shocked expression at my language.  Oh well.

“Do you own a dog, Mr. Grant?”

“No.”

“Because if you did, Mr. Grant, you’d know that that is *not* the way to train a dog.  You have to firmly say ‘No!’ and then show them the correct behavior.  It takes patience and persistence and kindness.”

“I’d love to hear how Billy can have kindness when he’s being bullied!” I retorted.  Mr. Henderson glared at me.  I glared back.

“I’m suspending Billy for two days for starting the fight.”

I nodded.

“I’ll convey that to his mother.  We’ll have Billy back in school on Thursday.”

Mr. Henderson leaned back, crossing his arms across his chest.  

“You can go.”

I motioned for Billy to get his book bag and stood up.  Then I turned and looked at Mr. Henderson.

“So what happens to Frank and Jesse?” I asked.  Mr. Henderson first bit back his words, then apparently decided he could tell me.

“They will both get detention for a week,” he said.  It was my turn to bite back words.  Complaining about fairness wouldn’t help.

That didn’t prevent Billy from complaining when we got outside.

“That’s no fair!” he cried.  “They got detention and I got suspended!”  I put my hand on his shoulder, steadying him.

“No, it’s not fair,” I answered.  “But you still did the right thing.”

“I got suspended!”  Billy was starting to cry.  We were at the car now so I turned to him and put my hands on his shoulders.

“Yes, you got suspended.  But you still did the right thing.  Sometimes that happens; we get punished for doing the right thing.  But we still have to do it.”

Billy looked up at me, rubbing his eyes to push away the beginnings of tears.

“Look,” I said.  “You stopped Jesse from picking on Ralph.  For today, if not a lot longer.  That’s a good thing.  You did the right thing.  It’s just that sometimes we have to pay a price for doing the right thing.  Kind of like buying a present.  Today you bought Ralph a present by getting Jesse off his back.  The price is two days suspension.  Now it might be a higher price than you expected to pay, but I think it was worth it.”

“You do?”

“I do.”

Lynn wasn’t so sure when she got home.  She sent Billy to his room and demanded the full story from me.  I told her everything, including my conversation in the parking lot with Billy.

“I don’t like it, John.  I don’t want Billy thinking it’s okay to get suspended.”

“I don’t think he will, unless you let it turn into a vacation.”

“That’s not going to happen.  Billy’s going to be grounded for a while!” she spat.  I nodded in acquiescence.

“Just don’t make it too long.  We don’t want him to get the idea that he shouldn’t defend his friends.”

“He started the fight, John.  I don’t want him starting fights!”

“He threw the first punch,” I corrected.  “He didn’t start it.  Jesse started it, long ago if you remember.”  Lynn scowled at me.

“Look, I’m not saying he should be let off the hook,” I continued.  “He needs to know that there are consequences for his actions and that he can’t evade those consequences.  I’m just asking that you don’t pile onto those consequences.  He’s going through enough of a hard time as it is.”

“He’s not the only one.”  I was startled by Lynn’s non-sequitur.  

“I’m. . . I’m sorry, John.  It’s just . . . well, I think I failed the test today and I need to do well in this class if I’m going to graduate in May. . .”  Lynn paused to catch her breath.  

“The reason Mom’s in Portland is that she’s looking for a house.  She’s decided she wants to move closer to her brothers and sister and she said she’ll wait until after I graduate.  If I don’t graduate in May . . .”

“You and Billy will be fine,” I reassured her.

“I know.  It’s just hard sometimes.”

“Yeah, sometimes it is.”

“Sometimes it is.”  Lynn forced a smile. She took a deep breath and composed herself.  Then she reverted to a frown.

“I’m going to talk to Billy.  Can you wait here?”  I nodded and she headed down the hall.

I wondered how long I should stay.  I wanted to talk about the sex with Angie but maybe that was better left until our usual time on Thursday.  Lynn took the decision out of my hands when she returned.

“I told Billy I was proud of him for standing up for Ralph but disappointed that he’d started a fight and gotten suspended.  Billy said that was a price he had to pay and I said that I was glad he understood that because he was grounded while he was suspended.”

“Not longer?”

“Not longer.  Anyway, I think you should go, John.  He’s going to want to play with you if you’re here and he doesn’t need that temptation.”  I nodded.

“Let me say goodbye to him, then.”  Lynn acquiesced and I went to Billy’s room and reminded him of how proud of him I was before collecting farewell hugs from both of them and heading to my own home.

My own home.  It felt pretty empty and spartan.  I wondered what it would be like with Angie in it.  That gave me an idea.  I called and invited her to spend the Saturday night the 28th, when I knew Ashley would be at her dad’s.  Angie was delighted to accept and joked that maybe it was her turn to cook breakfast for me.  I reveled in that fantasy for the next couple of days.

Those days passed all too quickly.  When Thursday arrived, I approached Lynn’s door with some trepidation.  The reality of Billy’s suspension and my need to talk to Lynn about my poor sexual skills were foremost in my mind.  My stomach churned a little, but just a little.  It calmed when Lynn opened the door, obviously relaxed and smiling.

“Billy’s okay.  He’s in his bedroom catching up on his homework.”

“So no problems on his first day back?”

“Apparently not, but go talk to him.”

With that I headed down the hall.  Billy was hard at work at his desk when I poked my head in the door, but put his pencil down once he saw me.

“How are you doing, Robin?”  I asked.  Billy smiled at the name.

“Good!  Too much homework, though!”  Of course.  He had the past three days all at once.

“How was school?  Anybody talk about the fight?”

“Ralph said thank you, but nobody else said anything.”  He didn’t seem disappointed by that fact, which was good.

“Any problems with Jesse or Frank?”

“No.  We didn’t see them.”

“Good!”  I tried not to show any doubts.  I wasn’t sure Jesse and Frank would be so quick to leave Billy alone.

“Too much homework, though,” Billy complained.  “And it’s hard.”

“Maybe I can help.”

“Would you?  Would you?”

I laughed at his eagerness and went to grab a chair from the dining room.  Billy made room for me and we studied his homework.  It was math again.  This time Billy wasn’t having the trouble he had had with fractions a few months ago, so I only had to coach him a little.

Which is about the same amount of coaching Lynn had to give me.  I told her about licking the alphabet and Angie’s response.  She nodded and suggested some refinements.  She not only talked about what she liked to receive but what she usually did when she was going down on another woman.  As Lynn talked and pantomimed, I relaxed quite a bit.  The mechanics of sex weren’t much different than ice skating or shooting a bow, I realized.  Some pointers, a lot of practice, and patience.

Of course, that didn’t dim my nervousness on the night that Angie came over.  She looked incredible, wearing a black flowing dress that made me think of Marilyn Monroe’s famous white one.  She had her hair up and was carrying a small overnight bag.  We spent several minutes kissing hello.

“I think we better stop or dinner will burn,” I finally said, pulling back a little.

“Mmmm.  Maybe we should then.  We wouldn’t want things to get too hot too quickly,” Angie teased, her voice low and lusty.

“True.  They might need to simmer for a while before they’re really ready.”

“But still, we wouldn’t want them to get cold either,” Angie purred, running her hand down my back and across my ass.

“Oh, I don’t think they’ll get cold,” I teased.  “But we should probably still go to the kitchen.”

“Then lead on!”

I laughed and stole another quick kiss before leading her to where the rice was cooking and the pork was ready to go from the sake marinade to the pan.  Angie watched for a while, asking small questions about what I was doing.  While the pork sizzled, I stole a few minutes to open the wine and pour us each a glass.  We toasted good food and good times before returning to the meal preparation.

Dinner actually all came together on time.  Angie was particularly complimentary of the chocolate mousse, which had surprised me, as it wasn’t that hard for me to actually make.

“I’m glad you like the dessert.  I thought we might have another one soon.” I said, licking my lips and smiling.

“Oh?  And what did you have in mind?”  Angie’s grin betrayed that she knew exactly what I had in mind.

“I thought we might go to the bedroom and have it there.”  Angie nodded.  I decided to ignore the food and dishes and took her hand and led her down the hall.

We stopped just before the bed, with me pulling Angie into my arms and kissing her.  She returned the kisses and soon the heat was close to that of earlier in the evening.  I began running my hands down her back and I lightly cupped her ass.  Angie responded by tugging on my shirt, untucking it.  I stepped back and yanked it all the way off, then shucked my pants.  Angie smiled and pulled her dress over her head, leaving her standing in only a skimpy black bra and panties.  I moved in and started kissing her again.

“Let me help you with that,” I murmured between kisses, my hand resting on her bra clasp.  Angie gave a small moan and a slight nod while I kissed her neck.  I unhooked her bra, much more smoothly than I’d expected, and then slid my hand around to push the fabric aside and caress her breast.

Angie was tugging at my boxers at the same time.  We managed to strip off our remaining clothing and tumble onto the bed.

“Let me,” I murmured, slowly kissing my way south.  Angie purred as I tongued her breasts, simultaneously caressing the one not receiving the oral attention.  I didn’t linger long, anxious to try out my new tips.

I left butterfly kisses across Angie’s stomach and the parted her legs and slid my body to the bottom of the bed.  She moaned as I lightly kissed the inside of each thigh.  Then I kissed just to the left and then just to the right of her labia.  Angie groaned and bucked when I started a long slow lick from the bottom of her sex up to her clit.  I wrapped my hands around and grabbed her hips, like Lynn had suggested, so that she couldn’t pull away or push into me too hard.  Then I concentrated on her clit.

I started the way I had before, licking the alphabet, but about every fifth letter I threw in one of Lynn’s suggestions.  I sucked gently on Angie’s clit, pulling it entirely into my mouth.  I caressed the inside of her labia.  Angie began to pant faster and moan from deep within her throat.  I slid a finger inside her to caress her for just a moment, before returning to holding her hips.  I slowly increased the speed and pressure with my tongue.

With a shriek, Angie arched her back and came.  I paused just a moment, then lightly flicked her clit to see if she was too tender to continue.  She moaned instead of jerked, so I renewed kisses and licks.  Angie caught her breath and then was off on another joyous shriek.  This second orgasm left her gasping, so I stopped and slid up next to her, grinning.  She looked at me, wide eyed and disbelieving.

“My god!  That was incredible!”

“Thanks,” I was a little embarrassed at her praise.

“Really!  Incredible!” Angie was catching her breath and calming down.  “Last time you went down on me, it was good, but this was beyond good.  It’s like you took lessons or something since then.”

“Actually, I did,” I admitted without thinking.

“What?”

Oh shit.  Angie’s demeanor had dropped from joyous to ice in that single word.  I started to panic.

“Well, I knew I hadn’t done a good job last time, and I have a friend who’s a courtesan--”

“A courtesan?  You mean a hooker?!  You saw a hooker?!?!”

“Well, I suppose technically she’s a hooker.”

“You slept with a hooker???”

“She gave me oral sex tips.  I didn’t sleep with her!”

“How Clintonesque!”  Angie snapped as she rolled out of bed.

“No!  It’s not like--”

“I can’t believe this!” Angie snarled, interrupting my protestation.  She threw her dress on and stuffed her underwear into her bag.  “You’re just like Mike!”  She started heading for the door.

“No!” I called out.   I jumped out of bed to follow her, but my foot landed on my discarded shoe.  It rolled and I lost my balance, tumbling into the wall.  Dazed, I heard my front door slam just as I got back to my feet.  I dashed down the hall, but Angie’s car was already moving by the time I got to the front door.

“Wait!” I called, futilely.  I slumped against the doorjamb.  Then with ragged breath, I went back inside and found Angie’s phone number.

I called and got her voicemail.  “Angie!  I’m sorry, please call me!”  I hung up before I began to babble.

Two hours later, I called again.  I got Angie’s voicemail again.  I hung up without leaving a message.

I spent the next day agonizing over what I should have said and what I could say to fix things.  I could barely concentrate and some of my coworkers noticed.  One of them tried to cheer me up.  It didn’t work.  I tried calling Angie during lunch and got her voicemail again. I hung up quickly, wondering if she was using the caller ID to dodge me.

I called Angie again when I got home.  This time I left a message.

“Hi, this is John.  I screwed up, but it’s not what you think.  Please give me a chance to explain.  Please call me.”

I spent the rest of the evening pretending I was watching TV, waiting for the phone to ring.  I didn’t sleep well that night.  The next day I called Lynn and asked if I could come over.

Billy wasn’t there when I arrived.  Lynn just blanched when she saw my face and immediately led me to the couch.  I leaned into her and she put her arms around me.

“Tell me about it,” she asked.

I told her the whole story.  I told her Angie’s history with her ex.  I told Lynn how I screwed up in bed and I told her all the wrong things I’d said.  I told her about my flailing attempts to contact Angie.  I talked until I’d circled through the stories and was repeating myself.  Lynn just held me as I wailed.  Eventually, I was able to catch my breath, though I was definitely in need of a tissue to wipe my eyes and blow my nose.  Once I’d taken care of regaining my composure, I looked at Lynn.

“What do you think?” I asked.

“I don’t think you’ve blown it as badly as you think you have.  It sounds more like a miscommunication than anything.  I’m sure when Angie calms down she’ll realize that as well and you two will be able to straighten things out.”

“I’m not so sure.  She hasn’t returned my phone calls and she was really upset.”

“True.  I wouldn’t give up hope though.”

“The thing is, I really liked Angie.  I was starting to think I was falling in love with her.”

“Maybe you were,” Lynn replied.

I slowly nodded.

“Maybe.  But then at one time I thought I was falling in love with you,” I said.  Lynn gave a small sympathetic smile and reached over and squeezed my hand.

“From what you’ve told me, Angie may have been falling in love with you too.”

I let that thought settle for a while, and we drifted into silence, Lynn still holding my hand.  I tried wrapping my mind around the thought that Angie could have been falling in love with me.  I resisted it--it didn’t make sense but the evidence was clear that she liked me quite a bit.  Had liked me, at least.

“You may be right,” I finally answered.  “It’s just hard to believe.  My entire life I’ve been alone.  I’ve gotten used to being rejected because of my appearance.  I’m ugly, why would anyone want to love me?”

Before Lynn could answer I continued.  “The problem with that is, it was only seven months ago that I thought I was too ugly for any woman to want to have sex with.  Yet since then, three women have chosen to go to bed with me.  Not because they were drunk or it was a bet, but because they wanted to.”  Lynn squeezed my hand and smiled encouragingly as I continued to work things out.

“Though that’s not entirely true,” I continued.  “You haven’t slept with me since Nevada.  And Summer’s really a nymphomaniac who manages to get paid for it.”

Lynn laughed.  “I’ll tell her that,” she said.  I blushed and she quickly followed up, saying “Don’t worry, she’ll appreciate it.  Though she really doesn’t sleep with just anyone.”  I shrugged my shoulders, indicating that it wasn’t important.

“So Angie really was special.” I stated.  “Probably the only one who could look past my ugliness and still love me.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

“Really?  What are you suggesting?” I asked.  My mind leapt ahead.  “Are you suggesting that we get together?  I know you find me attractive enough to sleep with.”

Lynn released my hand and looked a little pained.  The she set her jaw and met my eyes.  She took my hand again before speaking.

“I can go to bed with you if that’s what you really want.  But I don’t think it is.”

“You’re right,” I sighed.  We were silent for a while.  Finally Lynn spoke.

“When I started working in Nevada, I wanted nothing to do with serious relationships.  I didn’t want the hassle.  I didn’t want the heartbreak.  Since then, I’ve watched some of the other girls struggle with relationships while they worked.  A few had very open-minded boyfriends or husbands.  Many . . . well, their boyfriend was just claiming to be open-minded, or it would turn out he was living off of her or . . . . .

“I’m still not ready, John.”

I nodded in resignation.

“Look, I’m going to be working next week since it’s spring break.  Why don’t you come out to Nevada next week?  Stay with Summer, spend some time hanging out with us?”

“I can’t afford another brothel visit.”

“I’m not suggesting you do anything in the brothel other than hang out in the parlor.  Can you afford the plane ticket?”

I nodded again.

“Good.  I’m sure Summer and I can come up with something to take your mind off Angie.”  I raised my eyebrows and stared at her.  She looked a little chastened.

“And if not, just getting away for a while would be good for you,” she said.

She had a point.  I’d blown it.  While I could see Lynn’s point that maybe it was more a miscommunication than anything I’d really done wrong, there was nothing more I could do unless Angie called me back.  That left me only one choice.  Either stay home and wallow in it or try to move on.

“Okay,” I finally answered.  “I’ll see if I can get a couple of days off from work and pick up a plane ticket.”

“Good.”  With that, Lynn leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.  I was too surprised to react.

“You’re a good man, John.  When Angie remembers that, she’ll call.”

“Maybe.  I could still screw it up if she did.”

“You could.  It depends on both of you though.  This could end up being just the first bump in an otherwise smooth future together.”

“True,” I conceded.  I got a morbid thought.  “At least now I don’t have to worry about what will happen if I screw up.”

Lynn laughed.  “Yes, the pressure’s off!”  I nodded and cracked my first smile of the evening.  Lynn continued to playfully, gently, joke with me.  Then Billy came home from his evening at Ralph’s house.  He was delighted to see me on a non-Thursday and we played with his warriors until it was late and I was too tired to feel much of any emotion.  Billy was still going strong, which reflected how tired I really was.  Enough to sleep, I hoped.

I drove home with two thoughts.  I was going to Nevada with a beautiful courtesan who was promising me a good time.  And more than that, I wanted Angie to call.

--fin--
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