Part 1 - In the darkness

 

There was darkness all around me, something rough and damp brushed to the tender skin of my face, a dull throbbing that did not fit with my last memories crept across my cheek, deep into the bone. As my consciousness widened to a more complete level, the ache seemed to follow, it slithered down my neck, settling with intensity between my shoulder blades. The ache turned to a heat as it moves down my arms, held in the same position for too long, my muscles burning with strain. It carried further, though the small of my back, throughout my thighs and calves; my legs as well throbbing with a mind numbing pain for having supported my body for much to long. What had happened to find me in this state?

 

I drifted through memories of the day, I knew with absolute certainty I had awoken safe, I remembered my usual breakfast of orange juice and some whole-wheat toast with a thin spread of jelly. The very thought made my mouth dampen, my stomach suddenly awoke with a grumbling of hunger, another sign I had been in this particular state for longer then I could imagine. A vision of my feet pounding the soil path as I jogged my usual 5k run that morning, the sight of my shoes in my mind as I glanced down. My bare feet reminded me suddenly of the cold, no shoes, no jogging socks warmed them any longer. Another clue to where I found myself now, the situation I had awoke to. I remembered the cool morning, the edge taken off by the feeling of the sun, just peeking over the trees, no sun warmed my bare flesh now, this realization brought out shivers, sent coursing through my freezing skin.

 

Jogging, I moved, my breath was perfectly controlled, I had been running my whole life, and it was the only time I felt alive. I remember passing another jogger, he nodded to me, I faintly registered his face, and perhaps a flaw was my habit of losing myself in the moment. Something happened, I turned as he called out to me, then pain, something hitting across my abdomen, the wind knocked out of me, yes I remember the ground, my cheek, the deep ache, a rock connecting with my tender flesh.

 

My ribs ached, as I moved, no, I was drug, something sharp to my throat, pushed and dragged through the woods, deeper then I had ever ran along the secluded path. Something to my back pushed me up against a rough firm shape, my mind suddenly remembered and with that the terror started in my stomach. It moved up like a sickening touch, my spine stiffening, oh god, a tree. I was tied to a tree. Bound there naked and prone right were they had left me. My legs were spread, something keeping them apart. Oh god, how long had it been, I tried desperately to turn my head only to be awarded a shock of pain as the rough bark bit into my breasts, my hands bound so tight I could feel blood dried and sticky around my wrists. I closed my eyes and started to cry, the tears running down my cheeks, the sound of my sobs seemed so strangely loud, I choked them back with the fear that they might hear. My ears searched the consuming darkness, was I alone?

 

Eyes wide and full of that terror that only exists in the imagination scanned the darkness, trying so desperately to see something, anything that might give me a flicker of hope this was not the end. The bark scrapping across my cheeks as I strained, a muffled cry for the scratched that formed. Then suddenly, from behind, it began as a soft ruffle, then became that nightmarish sound boots on the fallen branches, crunching, snapping. Someone was coming. The dread in my stomach told me it was not someone with helpful intentions. No, this was someone who wanted my fear, my tears, my pain and perhaps my life. I gave a strangled cry and started to beg,

 

“Please, please help me, let me go, god please.”

 

The footsteps continued, disembodied from the voice that did not come, there was no reply to my heartfelt begging. I shivered in fear, my body quivering against the firm trunk that supported me. Instead I was rewarded by a sharp ripping pain through my back, something striking, the feeling of it disturbing the air the only warning, the sound of the snap, all too late to brace. I screamed with a tormented agony, the wind knocked from my chest as I choked, feeling my breasts and stomach burning with new torn scratches as I ground my body to the tree.

 

“NNOOOOO!!!!, ohhhhh goddd… nooooo pleeaasseee!!!”

 

I cried with harsh tears down my face, the burn in my back just one more thing to focus on, my arms and legs numb, the ropes cutting in as my weight was supported on my thin wrists, every subtle move ripping more of my chest and stomach. I struggled to stand as another blow tore through my back, the only part of my body not burning with pain was soon ran through with lines of fire. The snapping filling my ears, not a sound from the source, every hit pushing me further into darkness, until it consumed me once again.

 

My eye lid twitched, a wetness on my face, again I struggled to remember where I was, and why I hurt so dreadfully, unfortunately this time it did not take that long. Another drop fell to my face, followed by one more, I was cold, so cold. My heart beat against my chest as I remembered the pain; my tears started to fall down my cheeks just as the rain truly broke the clouds.

 

This time he must have been watching, he came quicker, moving once more with a heavy step through the trees, my body was damp by the time he arrived, washing the blood and dirt from my skin. I whimpered, expecting to feel the sharp whip to my body, but this time it was something else, a hand. It slide up my inner thigh, not needing to force my already spread legs apart it found my cunt quickly, wasting no time to thrust thick fingers into my tightness, one of the few places still untouched my the horror of the pain. Oddly, the fingers had no trouble slipping into my tender folds, hot and wet still, slick with my juices. I moaned with an ease that surprised me, the throbbing in my body nothing compared to the ache of my soaked cunt. The rain continued to fall, I shivered from the cold and from the lust his hands forced through my body, my breath faster as four fingers drove into my cunt, a thumb pressed firming to my aching clit. So tough he was, this unknown force that had brought me here, beaten and scared. I groan again, my hips trying to rock even as I started to beg,

 

“Please, don’t, don’t touch me, please, just let me go I don’t know your face, I won’t tell anyone, just please let me go!”

 

The fingers suddenly yanked back, ripping my cunt walls with ragged nails, I jerked and bit off a cry, I for a second thought my cries had stopped him, I was wrong. Suddenly thrown forward my ass was torn open, something pushed deep into my rectum, thrusting and tearing me open, I screamed again, shrieking in pain as it drove in and out. I could hear the sound of His breathing, just a warmth to my freezing skin, the feeling of his hands as he grabbed my hips, fucking so hard into my ass, ruthlessly the rain-washing down both of us. He grunted and raped my ass with the force of lust that I had never felt, ripping and burning. I screamed shrieking with the wild bucking as he filled my ass, again fingers drove into my cunt, scratching and clawing at me, ramming deep. I howled in pain and growing lust, crying for the violation of not only my body but also my desire as I started to cum, my ass gripping to his cock. A deep shutter moved through me, it was not mine, I howled with the feeling of his cock explode with a thick plastering of cum deep into my torn ass. Suddenly he pulled away, and the sound of heavy boots left me in the rain, crying as tears ran down my cheeks, left with only my pain and the trickle of cum that slide from my agonized asshole.

 

Once more darkness took me, I must have slept for I was suddenly aware of warmth on my skin, and it soothed me slightly, until I attempted to move and a scream ran out from my lips. I had never felt such agony in my arms and legs before this moment. I wept and bawled like a hurt child, left with nothing else to comfort myself with. Until the footsteps came again, I strained to see, scared for what he would do this time. Something covered my eyes, he would not allow me that one look. My muscled screamed and tightened, as I was untied. My tears uncontrollable, soaking the material that covered them. The agony made me gag and if I had had anything in my stomach it would have been lost. My head swam in pain as he lifted me to his arms. The darkness moved with us as he walked again only those footsteps, I realized how familiar they had become as he carried my battered body. I believe at that moment I expected to draw my last breath, I did not fear it as much as I thought I would. I groaned loudly to feel my body lowered, jumping with surprise at the warm water that enveloped me, I could feel the cold air still, I knew we were outside. I suddenly remember an isolated spot, far from the path of runners, a Hot Springs.

 

My realization followed the feeling of my body being washed, tenderly cared for and cleaned, every inch of my body lathered and massaged, I moaned with pleasure as the aching started to leave my limbs, my raw and tender skin accepting the nurturing. He washed and cared for my wounds, a thick towel wrapped to my damp body, I was laid on a soft blanket, the sun fully up now it warmed my form. Sinking back I groaned as he touched each of my wounds, tenderly spreading salve to heal and protect. He dried and brushed my hair, letting it dry in the sun. Never uttering a word I was picked up and settled on a tender lap, like a child, spoon fed some thick sweet oatmeal, each spoonful followed by a wipe of my lips. A sip of juice offered at regular intervals. He held and rocked me softly, I must have fallen asleep soothed so tenderly.

 

My eyes opened slowly to the first words he uttered, his voice strong and powerful, sending shivers down my spine,

 

“Wake baby doll, it’s almost dark now, daddy wants to play”

 

Part Two – the River

 

This one sentence made my stomach heave, the food he had fed me with nourishing and almost loving hands threatening to return from where it came, the taste of bitter bile as I screamed a strangled cry, my words muddled with begging pleas.

 

“ohhh god noooo, pleassee just let me go! I haven't seen your face! I will just leave now, pleasseee I want to go!”

 

My words brought nothing in the way of pity; a backhand across the cheek ceased my cries, the pain shooting through my crushed cheek, like a blinding flash behind cloth-laden eyes, still yet blindfolded. My wind was knocked from me at the strength of the blow, reeling back against strong arms that caught me, sweeping me from that soft blanket that had been so comforting a moment before.

 

Once more to be carried, like a child, a sobbing and hopeless child, tears soaking into the material covering my vision, making it cling to my cheek bones, the saltiness of the tears burning my tormented skin where it had ground against the tree bark. Fear rose as we moved, I could feel the air getting colder, the sound of a river in my ears, covering the labored breathing of this man who called himself daddy. I could feel from the shift in his step, and the spray of the water he had entered the stream, wading now, my body cradled to his chest like a precious cargo. I groaned and whimpered with an effort to once more invoke some pity as He shifted my body down, my bare feet falling into the swiftly flowing waters, as he sat me on a large boulder, mostly submerged in the flowing river.

 

With a yank my hands were brought forward, a rope wound and binding, I could feel the wet ends against my thighs, hanging from the knots he secured. My mind searched for a possible scenario of what he was doing, for the methods he was employing, trying to grasp some idea what was in store for me, some idea how I might escape this man who controlled me. A sudden hand on my chest thrust me back, my head momentarily under water, I coughed and choked, pulling up with a scream, terrified now he meant to drown me, panic sweeping over my body as I starting to fight and kick. A grip in my hair and a slap to the face stopped my in my spasm of terror, whimpering I cried softly. Truly for the second time, feeling my life was soon to be over. I lay pacified, trying to keep my mind from sinking back into the fear and agony of knowing I was helpless, as he bound my legs, spread wide against the sides of the rock. With a quick jerk the ends of the ropes at my wrists were looped and tied around, to cross at my stomach, only to be pulled so tight I gasped for breath, drawn down to cross once more and pin my thighs, fed under the water, secured and holding my naked and beaten body tight, head just one push from being thrust under the flow. 

 

I could hear the splashing as His body moved, the fear that he would once more leave me here, alone, in some unknown place, naked and hurt. Crying I begged, my heart pounding in my ears, trying to hold my head up, every second becoming weaker, afraid I would drown myself if I let it fall. He ignored my pleas.

 

The first crack of the whip took me on the right side of the rib cage, I screamed with a howl of fear and surprised torment, tears wailing from my eyes as I writhed, the small amount of movement making the harsh ropes cut into me, my head almost falling once again into the dark swirling waters. Again it came, this time across my left breast, cutting deep into the tender flesh, I could not even scream for the pain that was driven through my prone body, choking and screaming with the first breath I managed to draw. And again, again, more blows, breasts, ribs, stomach, each snapping with viscous cruelty, cutting deep into my flesh, I was sure I felt blood mingling with the frigid waters. I struggled in the moment of brain wrenching pain not to let my head fall, not to succumb to this horrible punishment. Crying out, for a moment I thought He had finished, time ticked by, long enough I let my ears strain to hear if he remained, unsure if he had left, the soft and sponge bank not revealing as the leaves had the night before. I was rewarded with only the sounds of my own breath, hot and ragged, filled with unmistakable pain.

 

Suddenly a rush, spray of water hitting my cold and welted body, as he reached down with bear like paws, a flurry of movement as he gripped my left breast in one hand, nails tearing at its softness, the other hand shoved into my soaked hair, I had only a moment to gasp a breath as he plunged my head into the spinning waters and his cock into my throbbing cunt, driving in hard, thrust after thrust as I thrashed and struggled to pull my head back, sheer terror and pain filling my mind as the air left my lungs, a moment of question as my head started to go fuzzy, before perfectly timed he ripped my head back up, still fucking like a ravaging beast.

 

Screaming and shaking my head side to side in His iron grip I sucked in deep breaths, my cunt throbbing, wetness defying my fear as he pounded away with everything he had, huge inside my tiny hot pussy that had never seen such use. Over and over, fingers tearing at my tits, my screams mingled with his grunts and groans, growls of pleasure, using my so harshly. His mouth fell to my throat, biting and scrapping sharp teeth to my collarbone, across my windpipe. Biting down my arching body, the rock digging into the welts from the beating the night before, finding my nipple he chewed, like a wolf at meat, gnawing and biting, pulling so hard I was sure he would take it off. His cock still buried in my soaked and tender cunt, he moved slower now, as it taking more time to enjoy, lifting from my tit he brought his mouth to mine, I could feel the roughness of his beard, the feeling of his breath, the taste of his spit on my tongue as his own was thrust deep invading my throat.

 

The kiss lasted what seemed like minutes, he was suddenly making love to me, with a tenderness he had shown the night before, not the cruelness that wielded the whip that crossed my body with raised and steamy hot welts. I sobbed as he pulled away, suddenly the grip harsh once more, hand lowering, biting my clit between two jagged nails, twisting and pulling, he thrust my head back under the water. Once more my struggling and thrashing against the binds of my body drove him to a fevered lust, fucking me harder, driving his cock with a wicked lust that burned into my deepest places. My mind starting to grow fuzzy from lack of oxygen as I felt the first waves of pleasure, forced to cum with the ripping pinching of my cunt, I heard Him howl through the rushing of the water, the howl released as the ropey streams of cum splashed deep inside me, filling my cunt, spilling out to trickle down my ass. He jerked back, my head still under the water, spraying cum across my tits and stomach, howling once more in pleasure, like an animal that had claimed the best bitch of the pack.

Feeling the last of my consciousness leave me, the last thoughts of pleasure as I came hard under this tormenting abuse, my cunt raped, my body beaten, I drifted off once more into tender darkness, letting it sooth me, unknowing if I would wake one more to face this nightmare.

 

Part Three - The Bed

 

Softness caressed my bruised and battered form, a slight weight on my body that rose and fell with my slow rhythmic breath. My eyes fluttered, something brushing delicate lashes, opening slits to find still darkness. Confusion once more in a tormented mind, the contrast of the darkness with what was most obviously sunlight, warmth that feel across my face, the slightly brightened blackness, to a  dappled gray behind the blindfold. I breathed slowly, each making a soft, but bare able ache in my body, through my spine and shoulders. The remains of the marks, an itchy healing had started. I liked at my mouth, feeling dryness, the corners cracked slightly, I tried to swallow, the motions made my jaw ache softly, up through my damaged cheek. A soft whimper must have aroused Him, hearing the creaking of the chair as his weight shifted, standing to walk over to me. I heard breath as He stood, looking down at my form. The thought now reached me, wondering if my numb and tired limbs were bound. Shifting my fingers, feeling my hand respond, unbound, I breathed a soft breath, fear my constant companion in the  back of my mind, wondering what this unseen Man would do now. Boldly I turned my head towards where He stood, tongue once more licking my dry lips as I parted to speak, voice shaky, unsure of its ability to make a sound.

 

“May I have water, please?”

 

I whispered, my voice cracking softly, unsure that He understood. I felt almost an air of tension, as if I had done something to make Him tense, a pause, under the blind fold I closed my eyes, sure He meant to strike me. The blow never came, instead I felt the wind across my face as He moved, soon to return, a hand slide under my shoulder, pulling me upwards, a glass placed slowly to my lips, tongue reaching greedily for the first lapping sips before it was removed from reach. Laying my body back, I felt the hand linger, a soft squeeze to my shoulder, I was unsure of it was a sign of comfort, or something else. I lay quiet a moment, my hears perking to the sound of the water set to the side, shifting my body slightly; I tried to make a mental picture of the layout of the room. I was obviously on a bed, large and with soft sheets and a blanket covering my form. I was not naked, some softness lay across me, long sleeves; I could feel the hem tickle my palms. A sudden shifting movement as he started across the bed slowly, almost like He was afraid. I could feel the blankets shifting back, his form slide in, next to my own. I breathed slowly, trying not to let fear overwhelm me, letting the curiosity I felt now grow. Still blinded I felt hands, sliding slowly, one resting against my stomach, the thin material of what I imagined to be a night gown between our flesh, but the warmth was still noticeable. The other hand stopped to brush my cheek, my hair from my brow, tracing slow paths across my forehead. I could hear and feel the breath, not unpleasant in that fevered, excited way it had raped me the last few times I felt it, but in a slowly exploring, tender way, as His face moved closer to mine. A sudden movement, and I was pulled over, turned and pressed, my crushed cheek against the slightly coarse and curly hair of His chest, suddenly cradled, held tightly. I must have whimpered again at the jolt of pain through my face, as He responded with a whispering of His own.

 

“Its okay babydoll, Daddy is here, going to keep you safe, forever with me, I'm never going to leave you”

 

Next his lips found mine, kissing softly and with tenderness. My mind was confused, so totally different then the man who had kissed me the other night with such brutal force, drowning my body into the river, pounding my struggling form into the rocks. He kissed again, this time hands moved down my neck, one hand to my throat, it squeezed lightly, fingers gripping, not enough to choke, but just feeling the softness of my flesh under His hands. I second of fear washed over me, I blushed with a heat to feel the second sensation, this time racing through my cunt, to the pit of my stomach. I tried to ignore it, I was shocked and embrassed by it. He kissed me again, I could hear Him breathing, smelling the air, as if perhaps he smelled the sudden flood of wetness between my legs. This time his tongue slid out to lick at my dry lips as his hands slid downward. A sensual tickling as He traced lazy slow circles over the top of my pubic mound. Teasing me softly, as if trying to draw out more of a response. Despite myself, I sucked in a breath, I startled even myself, and He must have heard, because I felt the material slowly pulled, sliding up my thighs, higher and higher, He gathered it against my stomach.

 

“You like it when I touch you, hurt you, use you. I know you do, I can smell it baby girl, but its ok, you’re not to be punished tonight, tonight Daddy is going to make you feel so good.”

 

The material pulled from my body, I felt fingers slide slowly down, squirming between my softly parted thighs, tracing back upwards, to dance with slow fluttering touches to the softness of my pussy lips, still not the frenzied plunging, driving that it had always been before. This time it was like a lover, exploring for the first time the curves of His prize. I breathed a little harder, feeling the ache start in my body, my stomach pulling in at the slight tickle of the touches. His other hand slide downward, unbuttoning the buttons that carried all the way to my navel, fingers slowly parting the material to look over my breasts. I could feel my nipples harden, almost as if His gaze touched me physically. His fingers started to slowly circle, loose and large at first, growing tighter as they approached my pink and hardened nipple. I must have quivered under this attention, shifting my thighs, because His hand suddenly found easier passage between my legs, now palm cupping, grinding slowly, a pressure, not rubbing, just holding gently to my dampened sex. I gasped, my breath catching in my throat as I started to breath faster. He must have been waiting for this, as he leaned and kissed my parted lips again, licking at the inside of my mouth, sucking slowly at my tongue. After barely a moment, one finger slide to part my throbbing lips, sliding upward in a curling motion to touch against my clit, another grinding press, finding its mark before slowly circling. Nothing of His touch was brutal or horrifying as it had been, this contrasting tenderness intrigued and aroused me, I moaned and pushed my hips upwards, feeling the fear and terror, the torment I had felt under His touch wash away. My mind ready to let it for the moment be forgotten, for the pleasure of the experience. Wiggling his fingers, He curled another under, finding the entrance he had ruthlessly raped before, now sliding in with the tenderness one might show a virgin, pushing in with no more urgency then my hips brought forth by lifting once more, moaning louder against His kissing, sucking mouth. The fingers at my breast now squeezed, he slowly rolled my nipple between them, tugging and twisting softly, drawing out more and more pleasure, I gasped, whimpered, my mind growing fuzzy to the worry, now only wanting to feel good.

 

“ohh you like that don't you baby girl”

 

I could tell in his voice he was smiling, I nodded my head, whimpering again in the admittance that I did enjoy it, even wanted it, wanted more. He started to push deeper into me, finger joined by one more, his thumb moving to grind and rub across my swollen clit, tits caressed and molested under his hands. I whimpered loudly, sucking in a deep breath knowing I would soon cum. He gave a half laugh, and then started deeper thrusts. Thumb flicking, teasing me to higher places, my mind heavy with the need. I bucked my hips, ignoring the pain and stiffness, now wanting it fully, crying out and pleading with my moans. He leans and crushed His lips to mind as I came hard. Spasms flowing through me, cunt sending waves of pleasure up my spine, pulsing to the pounding in my heard, the union of body and mind in a way unlike no other as I flew with the sensations. Once, then again I came, still he was relentless in his distinct pleasure in making me cum, over and over he drove at my clit, until finally, the shivering waves grew to much and my clit burned and ached with the oversensitive pain. I whimpered, begged Him to stop, my tired and still overworked and punished body not ready for it I grew dizzy with weakness and collapsed back on the nest of pillows, my breathing ragged. He kissed me once more, I could hear the sounds of Him licking at his fingers, tasting me as I drifted off into a luscious and satisfied sleep, not sure I feared waking as much as I had.

 

Part Four – The lesson

 

His boots paced the room as I slept, their echoing sound rousing my tired mind from its peaceful slumber. Slowly I became aware of the dull thud of heel to the dusty wood floor of the cabin. A failed attempt to open my eyes to the light, when all I was to have was the dark inner recesses of the blindfold that had been covering my face for as many days as it had been since he claimed me. Truthfully I was utterly unaware of the flow of time between the pain and the pleasure and they dull aching both produced in my body. I licked at my lips, the first movement drawing him closer. I heard him stop beside the bed I was laid out on, unsure for a moment if he wished to harm me or to nurture me I held my breath. A slow movement and the sound of water dripping to the floor, the second set of drops landed to my chest, soaking into the fabric as his fingers found my lips and fed me with a coating of water. I sucked eagerly, like a spring lamb on its mother’s teats, almost making the same soft mewling of hunger and need. A softly frustrated plea passed my hungry lips as the fingers were removed, only to bring pleasure when a new finger full of water was delivered. More soon followed until my immediate thirst was stemmed; now only the hunger in my stomach remained. I turned my head to where I thought he was standing, whispering with cracked voice, so soft and weak sounding it startled me.

 

“Please may I have something to eat?”

 

I felt apprehension grow as no reply came for a long moment, then shifting boots he disappeared from the bedside and I heard the door open and close. I gasped and started to cry softly, fearing I had sent him away in anger to plot the next means of torments. My stomach empty and driving hard pangs of hunger though my body. Closing my eyes to the imposing darkness of the blindfold I sobbed there in the darkness, alone. Barely hearing through my despair as the door opened once more and it was not until the heavy footsteps had reached the bedside did I become aware I wasn’t alone once more. Now he stood, his breath soft and not strained in any way, in fact there was an air of calm about the silence that had been lacking before. My ears strained for a hint of what was to come, then a voice echoed, the words taking a moment to sink in completely, for their oddness.

 

“If your hungry baby doll then Daddy brought you some milk, if your hungry tell Daddy you want your bottle”

 

My mouth opened and closed at least three times before my mind could even form the necessary words, milk, bottle, daddy? All seemed so out of place, like they did not totally fit in my world, but my stomach reminded me quickly that it was empty and suffering so they came.

 

“P… please Daddy, I want my bottle, please”

 

My voice must have pleased him so weak and small, so nervous and full of fear. I could hear his pleasure and his smiled reflected in the tone of his voice as he slid closer to sit on the edge of the bed. I felt my top half lifted gently and lay back in the crook of his arm; a single loving kiss to my forehead brought the bottle to my lips. A real rubber nipple infant feeder, and I parted eagerly for it, so hungry and needing something in my belly the contents did not even occur to me before the first spurt of formula hit the back of my throat and made me gag, it was the most dreadful taste one could imagine, but my stomach refused to give up and I sucked, letting it fill my mouth before I swallowed, for the sake of me a least it was warm.

 

“Do you like that baby? Mmm good milk for babies”

 

His voice was cooing, like someone talking to an infant, in a loving and instructing way that told me I better drink it and enjoy it if I knew what was good for me. So I did, with little suckling and whimpering sounds I imagined a hungry babe might make, the formula soon came to taste a lot less like wet soaked sawdust and more like sweet wine as my stomach filled in a cozy sort of way. I let myself sink into the slow rhythmic sucking that delivered it in the best method to my hungry mouth. I could smell his body, not unpleasant as my cheek rested to his arm, the thick muscle beneath the surface of his skin did not hold the powerful terror it had as he used it to pin my head under the water the night prior, but now a comforting cradle for my tired mind and body. I felt a small trickle of milk escaping my parted lips to drip down my chin, making it damp and slightly uncomfortable against my sensitive skin. I tried not to focus on it, and instead just enjoy the calm before what ever devious plans for the night began. My stupor was abruptly ended with a jerking pop, as the bottle was tugged from my lips, the end having been reached he commented on my efforts.

 

“Good girl, drank it all but you must not drink down the air or you will get a tummy ache baby”

 

I lay against him, wanting to lick my chin from the milk that had spilled there, but feared it was not what he wanted. A sense that proved correct as his next words commented on that very fact.

 

“Messy girl you dripped down your chin, let Daddy clean you up baby, we have a lot to do tonight”

 

I felt my stomach drop at the way he said it, that we had a lot to do tonight. I almost whimpered with fear but sucked it back and lay quietly while he used a soft cloth, that smelled vaguely like snuggle fabric softener, to wipe my chin clean of the spilled milk. His breath was warm by my ear as I heard him whisper,

 

 “I bet you have to go potty princess, you have been laying here a long while, do you want to go now or wait until after your bath?”

 

Unsure of how to respond, and exactly how he meant for me to go potty, I paused, the idea of peeing in front of this man was mortifying, despite all the forced intimacies I had endured.  I turned my head slightly, and getting a sense of the way to stem his wrath I whispered softly, letting that weakness surface I my voice again,

 

“I want to wait till after my bath, Daddy”

 

I could feel his head nod in response, then he smiled as he lifted me forward again, reaching for something at the bedside table and riding himself of the milk dampened cloth.

 

“Alright, here is something to keep you busy and quiet while I get your bath ready then”

 

Again his kissed my forehead as a rubbery nib was pressed to my mouth, not a bottle this time I quickly realized it was a pacifier. Recoiling somewhat in surprise I could practically feel his suddenly anger of disapproval for my action. I scrambled to open my lips fast enough and appear eager to have the rubber bulb invade my mouth, sucking as it filled it almost completely, not a normal baby pacifier but much larger I guessed. Again he shifted, pressing a stuffed creature of some sort into my arms and petting my hair lovingly.

 

“Have a little nap and Daddy will come back when your bath is all ready”

 

Time passed slowly, I tried to keep track of it by counting the minutes, stopping with annoyance as I realized I was sucking in a rhythm to match. The soother pushing my tongue down and filling my mouth to my cheeks, it felt suffocating and it was all I could do not to spit it aside, but quickly stopped myself for fear of retribution should he find it there and not in his baby’s mouth.  To distract myself I let my fingers explore the clutched plush toy in my arms, feeling its cold acrylic eyes and softly curving bear ears. I felt around until I found its small smiling embroidered mouth and its plastic nose attached tight from within. I couldn’t help but remember a similar bear I had as a child, a constant companion until I had lost it at the beach. I remember crying all the way home into my mothers breast, my heart breaking like I had lost my best friend. Lost in the memory I clutched the small bear to me and sucked softly at the pacifier, and that is exactly how he found me on his return.

 

“Your such a perfect baby, my own little doll with your pacifier. Do you like that stuffed bear? You shall have to give him a name and he will forever be your friend little one”

 

His voice was soft and strangely soothing, holding none of the hardness his blows had the times I had to bare them. I opened my eyes once more behind the mask, a motion he must have recognized as I felt his fingers reach out and brush softly across my brow.

 

“Not yet baby, I am not ready to take that off yet. I am not sure your going to be a good girl for me yet, not sure you want to be my baby girl yet”

 

He talked to me like an adult to a child; it worked perfectly to make me feel small, weak and controlled. A shiver went up my spine as if this was not to end any time soon, that he truly would keep me here forever. I started to cry softly, tears soaking the blindfold and leaking down my cheeks. This seemed to bring him some sorrow, like a parent who is compelled to comfort his little girl.  I soon felt him scoop me up and move me to him, for a second startled to be in the air, a jolt of stiffness through my tense joints and muscles. I cried out and lost the soother to the floor, he seemed not to notice and lay small pecking kisses over my cheeks and my forehead, down my chin and to my mouth. The whole time he made a softly comforting sound, humming low in his chest as he carried me forward now, out of this room and into the next.

 

The next room was steamy and warm, smelling of strawberries and candle wax I could feel the air filled with mist from what I guessed to be a bath. Confirmed as he settled my weak and tired body into the tub. One of those deep to the chin antique tubs that made everyone feel small despite his or her size. I leaned back and felt the water rise all the way to my chin, entombing me in its warm, soothing embrace. A soft sigh escaped me as I let my limbs float, his hands which first began at my shoulders and moved down, relaxing me further. I lay and happily let him wash me, the silky feeling of the soap and his hands refreshing and enchanting me into a lulled state. I shivered as his fingers crossed my breast, for a second fearing he meant to rape me again, here in this tub, to feel me kick and scream and struggle for breath under the hot murky depths. I let out a soft whimper and he lifted his hands as if surprised by my reaction. The next second I felt his lips by my ear whispering with a strong husky tone, 

 

“I am not going to hurt you baby, not if you’re good. Daddy is not going to fuck his baby tonight, just take care of her and love her in the way she likes.”

 

He patted my stomach with his other hand, tickling it softly till I gave a half giggle despite myself, having always been very ticklish in that particular place. He chuckled and went back to washing, hands caressing down my sides, and legs, then back up he reached under and patted my bottom.

 

“Turn over baby, need to wash both sides, on your hands and knees for Daddy please”

 

I turned slowly, nervously as he ran his soapy hands over my hips to my back. Starting to wash up and down in slow strong strokes that drove the tenseness out of my body, washing the sweat and blood from my scarred and whip streaked back. I stayed perfectly still as he ran his fingers so slowly down my butt crack, spreading softly he examined me as someone might examine a baby for any signs of diaper rash. Then I felt him lean back and consider, the pause making me fear what his mind was coming up with next to force me to endure. His hand ran into my hair for a moment, pushing softly but firmly downward until my cheek met the edge of the bath, then he whispered once more.

 

“Daddy is worried all this stress baby has endured as made her so she’s not functioning properly, I think we need to fix that. Just relax and it will be over and done quickly, if you struggle I will have to strap baby down, and Daddy hates to do that”

 

He patted my butt and as slow-witted as the hot water was making me I caught on to what he meant, oh lord. I whimpered and started to beg for mercy from what he was planning, but was soon smothered in words as another pacifier was brought and pushed into my mouth. He cooed and stroked my back, then slid two wet soapy fingers against my tight sore anus. I groaned and bit against the soother, for once happy to find it in my mouth. His fingers slowly invading into my insides, worming and wiggling deeper, coating my passage with a thick layer of soap, preparing me for what was to enter next. Then he pulled back, I could hear the sounds of him preparing the nasty device, water sloshing in its rubber confines, water that would not remain there very long. The first sensation of the tube entering my bowels made me whimper and grind my teeth against the soother. I remember only once having this done to me, before an operation to remove my appendix; if my memory served correct it was one of the most uncomfortable procedures I had ever had the displeasure to live though.  The tube went in for what felt like a mile, pushing and weaving its way into my deeper gut, where it finally sat and waited for the water to rush though. Which it soon did, flowing like an free flowing river into my bowels, filling my me to my stomach until I felt bloated and ready to burst inside. I had the horrible thought he might not stop and I would explode, wondering if death could be had that way, one of the most unpleasant of ones indeed.

 

“See baby, Daddy is going to take care of you, make sure you’re not sick or wanting”

 

He stroked my back and forced the remaining water into my gut, stopped from backing up by some inflatable ring that stretched and plugged my rectum completely, I doubt I could have relieved myself even if I tried. Which I didn’t only out of complete mortification I might shit myself right here in front of this man, this man who tortured and abused me so utterly.  Finally he scooped me and the apparatus up and I felt myself deposited onto a toilet across the room, my legs spread and forced to lean back as he released the pressure to the bulb in my ass and gravity did the rest, my cheeks burning through the whole process like two crimson flags of my shame.  The whole time his hand held onto my shoulder, as if comforting me and showing his approval at his efforts.

 

“Good girl, see not so bad and it’s all over”

 

As he spoke he reached down and cleaned me with a soft cloth, then picking me up once more set me back in the tub where he had found me, on my hands and knees. The next sensation was the soft flow if shower spray as he rinsed me better, making sure I was clean all over, then drained the tub. Moving me to my knees only, kneeling in the bottle of the empty bath now he started to wash my hair, fingers working to massage and clean my tangled and soiled locks with fresh warm spray from the shower. The shampoo smelled sweet and powdery, like the sort one might use on a baby, which I was fairly sure it was. My hair was soon squeaking with cleanliness to his approval and one final rinse deemed the bathing completely. Pulled once more to a new position, standing this time, dripping and starting to feel a slight chill he rubbed my limbs, chest and bottom with a thick towel, drying me fully then wrapping another towel around my hair.

 

“mmm you smell so nice baby, so fresh and clean I could just eat you up!”

 

His voice louder and more excited, as if he had unearthed exactly what a treasure he had found, his pleasure growing. His strong arms once more scooped me up and carried me in another direction, this time to a small table, high off the ground I could tell because he was almost chest high to my laid out body. I coughed then sneezed at a sudden puff of powder that filled the air, sprayed down at my bottom and pussy lips, rubbed in softly and lovingly. He laughed at my coughing sneezing reaction, leaning to kiss my forehead as if completed in amusement at my cuteness. I could feel him lifting my butt and something thick and soft slid under me, I cringed when I realized what it was, a diaper. Oh lord I prayed he didn’t mean for me to actually use it, but the water had made my bladder strain, filling from the milk I had downed earlier, I vowed it would never happen and I would hold it till I exploded before wet myself for some strange man. Next came the flannel sleeper, my toes encased in its softness, an odd sensation how it stretched when I moved, in some very odd way I was comforted by having my body covered again. He did each small snap up carefully; making sure it matched the one to the other side, not wanting to button my clothing wrong.

 

“I hope you like pink baby, I think girls look best in pink”

 

His voice was light and happy sounding, like he had finally gotten something he had wanted for a very long time. I was tugged once more to his chest, lifted and cradled he kissed me all over my face and danced across the room singing a song I knew  from my youth but had forgotten the words for. Carried this way, most tenderly he moved to yet another new room, the floor not hard against his boots I assumed it to be carpeted. My body was moved, settled into a high firm place, I was confused on what exactly it was until the sides came up and my fingers found bars. His fingers found mine in the next moment and he smiled, his tone revealing it.  

 

“I know you have to pee, but its ok, babies cannot be expected to use the potty. When you have to go you have your diaper, so nap now and I will come back to change you”

 

With that he stuffed another bottle in my mouth and started some sort of music, the wind above my face hinted it was a mobile. Unsure of what really to do, I laid and sucked lazily at the bottle, trying desperately to ignore the dull throb in my bladder, my mind trying to understand what was happening, as I drifted off to sleep.

 

To be continued

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April 18, 2005

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Written by mel