"Fun with Dick and Jane" by Sue (SueNH@aol.com) As we left Sue last week at the end of "Gee Spot Run," Sue had used her erotic fiction as a basis to enrich the fantasy life and masturbation abilities of a repressed housewife. As our story resumes in this sequel, Sue has been invited to Jane's house for dinner, where she meets her husband Dick and a stuffy friend of theirs named Charles. When Jane blurts out that Sue is a writer of erotica, the men scoff at Sue. They think she is merely a Barbara Cartland type. Sue rises to the challenge and offers to read one of her stories out loud, with the agreement that its quality will be measured by Charles's peter meter, which at the time was easily hidden beneath the napkin on his lap.

So Sue read from "Louvre Love." Actually, this was a bad choice, since (as we all know) this particular story received a modest rating of 7.5 in Celestial Reviews, whereas most of Sue's stories are 10's. I think "Here Cums Santa" or "To Serve and Protect" would have been better choices. Perhaps Sue made this choice deliberately, to avoid straining Charles's gauge, which probably wasn't capable of registering a 10. To make a long story short, the story works; but alas, Dick dislikes perversion and refers to Sue as a cunning temptress. (Had I been there, of course, he would have referred to me as a cunning linguist. But I think either epithet would fit Sue accurately.) Jane defends her friend's reputation, and soon tendrils of pleasure are racing around Sue's body while Charles begins to fuck her and Jane observes unobtrusively.

Enough! You'll have to read the story yourself to find out who comes how often and where and whether Dick finally overcomes his inhibitions and has fun with Jane. This is an excellent story, only minimally reminiscent of the book of the same title that many of usread when we were in the first grade.

This story (combined with this review) will be especially useful for cunning linguists or for students whose teachers require them to look up and use a word a day. I mean, in addition to ribald sex, this story is full of tendrils, epithets, and ogling - as well as a vivid reference to the Louvre - which, of course, is located near the Champs Elysee.