"Straight Sex" by Mike Hunt (M1KE HUNT@aol.com). Have you ever been faced with the problem of deciding who does what to whom or who goes first during a sexual escapade? This story offers a creative strategy for making those decisions. It's called "Cocks and Cunts," and it can help decide who gets on top, or who eats whom first, or things like that. One person calls, "One - two - three, FUCK!" Both throw their hands out in front of themselves. A hand with the middle finger extended in the universally understood sign of "fuck you" stands for a cock. A middle finger and thumb joined in a circle. is a cunt. If you get one of each, that's a perfect fuck, and the caller wins. If you get two of a kind, the non-caller wins. As in American football, the winner gets to decide such things as who will receive in the first half. In other words, this serves the same purpose as a coin toss, but sometimes naked people don't have coins to toss.

What's interesting about this story is that its title, "Straight Sex," really does describe the story accurately, but the story includes gang sex, anal sex, teen sex, and multiple overlays of simultaneous sexual acts. Imagine that. The author uses the story within a story within a story approach. That is, the narrator is telling about his wife who is making love to him while she is also telling about the first time she had sex with a guy who showed her movies about people having sex. Actually, I think I omitted one more within-a-story in that previous sentence. Anyway, this technique is called nesting. Try it sometime; you'll like it!

Back to the story - the guy who's watching the film with June has a cock that's about as big as the one on the boss who's reaming his secretary in the movie, and the narrator who is listening to his wife has one that's even better if not actually bigger, and he's gradually shifting from stimulating her clit with it to inserting it for a night deposit. This is really getting confusing: since I'm telling you this story, we're now into a fourth level of nesting. Under normal circumstances I would have had several orgasms by now. This would be even more complex if I told you what I was doing or planning to do and you undertook an activity of your own while someone was nuzzling between your legs while you tried to make sense of this review and/or of this story.

Now imagine this: June is watching Justin while she's giving him head and thinking about Tim (probably fifteen years ago), while Tim is receiving head and watching June and the boss fucking the secretary on the television screen. Meanwhile (at the time the story is being written, theoretically about 48 hours before I started writing this review), Mike is spooned up against June's backside and has been doing interesting things to her and has just nudged his cock into her vagina, while he has been listening to this story. June, of course, has been telling this story, while receiving the amorous advances of her adventurous admirer. Meanwhile (at the time I am writing this review), I am reading about all these activities and trying to report them to you as objectively as possible while I'm imagining how my husband and I did something similar to Justin and June about 20 years ago and similar to Mike and June last Tuesday, a week ago Thursday, and on several other occasions; and I'm getting some good ideas for what might happen later this evening. Finally, YOU read this story, and you learn about Justin and June 15 years ago, the boss and the secretary on television, Mike and June at the time Mike wrote the story, and me and my husband 20 years ago, a week ago, ten days ago, and later this evening. I don't know how you can stand this without cumming in your pants or taking a break to jerk off!

To make it even worse, theses are all stories, and so you don't know what's real and what's not real. But according to Plato, ideas are more real than what is real anyway, and so this is one of the most really real stories - or at least really real review of a story - you have ever experienced. Really! Everything else is like a shadow on the wall of a cave. If you don't understand this, please refer to "I Learn to Think" by Estragon, which was reviewed earlier in the previous issue of Celestial Reviews (CR 175).

Sometimes I wonder if it's worth the effort.

Anyway, her cunt was as wet as a car wash sponge on Sunday, I have no idea to whom that sentence refers. It could be any of about five people. Or all of them. Then Mike tells June HIS story.