"When Knighthood Was in Flower and Maidens Lost Their Heads" by Unknown Author. In CR 138 I reviewed the first two parts of this story, which were posted under the title "The Black Knight." The present version adds one more episode, but it still gives the appearance of being incomplete. If anyone has more parts to this story, I'd certainly like to see them.

Sir Englebert the Ungainly is in the midst of a rather hectic adventure when he comes upon a naked woman - I mean fair maiden - tied to a stake. The young lady is the nearby village's offering to one of the great beasts of the forest to persuade that monster to spare their homes from destruction. If the dragon devours her, he cannot then in good conscience attack the village. It was a sensible thing for the villagers to do, and the good knight very nearly rides on by. But there's something about the fragile beauty of a damsel in distress with her naked body dangling like a misplaced modifier from a stake so that her breasts.... The (new) third episode dwells in detail on the treatment of forest witches. Having sex with a forest witch was a tricky matter for a knight. Unless he knew exactly what he was doing, he could become permanently diverted from his quest - or even worse.

The only significant problem with the story was this sentence: "I told her that I labored under a curse; that I could not enjoy a woman who was well and recently spanked." Actually, the opposite was true: he could not enjoy a woman UNLESS she was well and recently spanked. It's a big difference, but I figured the curse correctly from the context. Since the story was otherwise so good, I decided to forgive this one sin.

Anyway, this is a really excellent story. I don't want to ruin it for you, but I'll advise you that it's meant to be funny. Thomas Mallory and Alfred Tennyson may have taken knighthood seriously, but more recent authors have discovered that knights were really funny people.