Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 Title: Big Girls Don't Cry Ch.  02
Summary: Bad news leads to big changes for Lena and Darryl.
Keywords: inc,fic
   I staggered out of bed, still half-asleep, to answer the knock at my
door.  I wasn't expecting anyone, but I thought it might be a friend from
St George's, just around the corner.  I managed to slip on a pair of shorts
in my partially asleep state and weave my way over to the front door.  I
pulled it open fully expecting to see one of my friends, and winding-up to
give them a mouthful, but there outside the door, looking apprehensive and
somehow smaller than I remembered, almost huddled, was mum.
   I came awake immediately.
   "What are you doing here...mum?" I asked flatly, trying not to respond
to the instinctual rush of remembered feeling as I saw her, wanting and
needing her, but the need overshadowed by the memory of how she and dad had
excised me from their family with just a few words; I didn't hate her, but
I was still hurting, and I didn't want to let that go, not yet.
   She started when I said that, and her eyes filled, and I immediately
dropped my eyes; I didn't want her to see my need for her in my eyes, all I
wanted was for her to feel as lost as I did, just share what it felt like
for a few seconds, but I couldn't...
   I stepped aside.
   "You'd better come in.  Lena's asleep; I'll get her if you want...?"
   She sat down and looked at me as I sat opposite her, her lip quivering.
   "Darryl, please come home, both of you.  Your father misses you
dreadfully, he has so much to say, to tell you..."
   I cut her short.
   "But he's not my father, is he?  And you're not my mother, and
apparently that's not my home.  I am home, here, mum, this is the reality
for me now!"
   Now she was crying, and I had to put an end to this; I didn't want to
make her cry, just make her understand how far she'd cast me adrift; it
didn't work though, all I could see was my mum crying, and it wrenched at
my heart.  I thought we'd said all there was to say, and I was still too
angry and hurt to let the feeling of being in free-fall go just yet, much
as I hated it; she'd done that to me, she was nothing to me, she wasn't
even a part of my family, no relation at all, I told myself, not believing
a word of it.  I tried to believe that letting her in had been a mistake,
yet why did I feel so glad to see her, and so bad about trying to let her
go?
   "You shouldn't have come here, I can't have you here.  All you're doing
is reminding me that everything I thought was mine is gone; can't you see
that?  Please go, just leave me alone.  That's what I am now, and all
you're doing is reminding me of that.  I'll wake Lena now, and you can ask
her to go back with you; I'm not keeping her here against her will, but I
won't ask her to go, either."
   With that I got up and walked into the bedroom, intending to waken Lena
and tell her that her mother was here.  She was already awake, sitting up
in bed with the covers pulled up around her, her eyes big and concerned.
   "Darryl, I heard what you said; I will never leave you alone, ever; you
need to know that!"
   I smiled and sat down to hug her, then hauled her bag up on the bed and
rummaged through her stuff until I found a long T-shirt like the one she'd
slept in that first night.
   "Here, put this on, princess, and come out and talk to her, she's come a
long way to see you!"
   Lena took the shirt from me and hugged me, before tugging it over her
head and pulling it down.
   "There, that's as dressed as I'm getting; she can see me like this!" she
grinned, pulling me close for a quick, heartfelt kiss before sliding off
the bed.
   I grinned back at her expression and took her hand to lead her out into
the living room.
   Mum went to hug Lena when she came out behind me, but Lena pulled back
and away from her, instead pulling herself close to me with her arm around
my waist.  Mum looked hurt at that, but Lena had that expression on her
face, the 'stay away' look she had when she was angry, one that mum knew
only too well.
   "Lena, your father and I, we...we miss you both, we waited so long for
you to come home, both of you!  Please, why don't you and Darryl come home,
now, with me?"
   Lena looked scornfully at her.
   "Why would we do that?  So you can tell Darryl all over again how his
mother abandoned him, how you didn't want him enough to make him yours,
that he was just 'Left-Luggage'?"
   She was still really angry, so I wisely decided to say nothing.
   "You should go now, mum; Darryl needs his family, and right now, that's
me.  You and dad never wanted him; if you had, you'd have adopted him when
he was a child, or let him know who he really was, or just kept quiet
forever and let him be your son.  You could have told him the truth long
ago, when he was still just a little boy, let him know who he really was,
who you really were, but you didn't, you kept him around, you let him
believe he was your son, and then you took it all away just like that!" She
punctuated her sentence with a snap of her fingers.
   "He thought you were his parents and he loved you with all his heart;
why didn't you have at least that much for him?  Go away, mum, I need my
brother, and he needs me, and neither of us needs you!"
   She slid her arms even tighter around me, and her head rested in the
hollow of my neck.  Mum could see that she was wearing only that thin
cotton tee shirt, and I could see the suspicion forming in her eyes.
   She cast around, her eyes lighting on the open door to the second
bedroom, where she could see a jumble of exercise equipment and a desk and
large bureau, but no bed.  There was no sign that the couch had been used
to sleep on, only the rumpled bed visible through the part-open door to the
bedroom.
   Her eyes narrowed.
   "Lena, where did you sleep last night?  And the night before?" she
asked, her voice sharp with suspicion.
   Lena looked at her, smiled sweetly, and answered "None of your damned
business!  What are you implying...mother?"
   That tone was back in her voice; she was angry again, the sweet smile on
her face falling away as the anger blazed through.
   Mum recoiled from that, her eyes suddenly almost afraid.
   "Please Lena, please don't tell me you...and Darryl...no, you didn't..!"
   Lena smiled acidly at her.
   "And if I did?  For the record, I'm not admitting anything, but so what
if I did?  What's it to you?  After all, I'm over 18, and it's not like
he's my brother, you told me he's not my brother, in fact you made it quite
clear he's not my brother at all...!"
   Mum looked shocked, and a little sick.
   "Don't say that!  He is your brother...Oh Lena, what have you done, both
of you?  Darryl's your brother...!" she whispered, her voice shocked and
horrified.
   Lena smiled maliciously at her.
   "Darryl, go make some coffee, there's a darling.  Mum, sit down, you've
got some listening to do, so pin back your ears.  Darryl, go!"
   I wanted to hear this, if only to hear Lena in full flow, she did it so
well...
   I wasn't interested in seeing mum squirm; to tell the truth, now that
the shock and loss had eased a little, I missed her, desperately, and
seeing her this morning had stirred up all the feelings I'd had for her
before this...thing had dropped on me.  But my mum was gone, and this
person was left behind; she still looked just like my mum, though; the only
thing that had changed was that now I knew she was nothing to me, but that
didn't stop me desperately wanting her back, for none of this to have
happened, for my mum and dad to be my mum and dad again, for this nightmare
to be erased, to have never happened...
   But I knew well that tone in Lena's voice, so I went.  While I pottered
around in the tiny kitchen, trying to find reasons to stay in there and not
face mum or hear what Lena had to say, I nevertheless strained to listen to
every word; it was the classic 'attraction/repulsion' thing I'd studied
during long boring nights on-call.
   "Sit, mum!" I heard her say, the anger even more evident in her voice
now I couldn't see her face.
   "You are going to tell me one thing, that's all.  Why?  Why did you have
to destroy Darryl's life so completely?  Why can't you understand what
you've done?  Why did you have to tell him I wasn't his sister, that I'm
some kind of aunt?  I loved being his little sister, he was my big brother
and I was his best friend.  Now I'm not his sister any more, how is he
supposed to think of me; as his 'auntie'?  What did we ever do to you that
you had to do this to us?  I know how easy it is to hurt him, I've always
known, that's why I never did, and I never will; all he ever had was you
and dad and me, and you took that away from him without hesitation; his
family was the most important thing in his life, didn't you know that?  Now
you've gone and broken it up, and I don't know how to put it right, so I've
had to put him back together a different way!"
   "I suppose I should thank you, but it was only possible because you
broke his heart, and all that loss and pain is still in there, all jumbled
about!  Do you remember when he was a boy, and he thought he'd lost us?  He
nearly died, he tried to kill himself because he thought he'd lost
everything, and now he really has!  I'm here so I can keep him safe, but
why are you here?  Why did you need to hurt him so?  Answer me, mum!"
   I could hear the tears in Lena's voice, but I could also hear mum crying
softly, and a huge part of me wanted to rush out there and just hold her,
to beg her pardon on bended knee for being such a petulant prick, but I had
to know what was so all-fired important that they had to drive a wrecking
ball right through Lena's life, and mine.
   Eventually mum stopped crying.
   "Lena, we told Darryl because he needs to know; your dad and I are
planning on going away soon, and we're not coming back.  Dad is not well,
he's not well at all, and his doctors want him to leave England, the cold
and damp are just making him worse..."
   A cold hand stroked my spine, and I forgot all about my anger and loss
and hurt feelings as I rushed back into the room, my need to know greater
than all that now.
   "Mum, what's wrong with dad, why do you have to go away?  Please, tell
me, mum, what's wrong with him!" I whispered, a chill rush of fear making
my spine tingle and cold sweat collect in the small of my back and between
my shoulder blades.  The thought 'cancer' was rushing around in my head,
but I was afraid to hear the words from her, afraid to turn and look the
Gorgon in the face.
   Mum looked ready to cry again.
   "Your father has a condition something like pneumoconiosis, it's been
caused by years of inhaling metallic dust.  It was that job of his, all the
time it was doing this to him.  His lungs are badly damaged, so is his
heart, and his doctors are afraid it will develop into acute COPD if he
remains in a cold, damp climate.  They think somewhere hot and dry might
help hold it off a little longer.  We've decided to move to Cyprus; your
father has old friends there, and he was stationed there in the 1960's, so
he knows the place.  The hot, dry climate may be what he needs."
   "We told you because we didn't want this to remain hidden any longer. 
Your dad wanted to make everything right before we left, he didn't want to
leave you with any loose ends and he didn't want to take any secrets with
him or leave anything unfinished.  Can you understand that, both of you? 
Please try and forgive him, forgive both of us, he just wanted you to know
the truth while there was still someone to tell it to you."
   Lena was looking shocked and confused, emotions warring on her face,
until her lip quivered, and two big tears ran down her cheeks.  Suddenly
she was that little girl who'd tagged along to school with me every day,
the annoying little sister I loved so much and had nearly lost.
   "He...he's sick?  How long have you known, mum?  When were you going to
tell me?  Mum...mummy, is daddy dying?  oh God, no, please...!" she
whispered, her face crumpling as she cried.
   The strength drained away from my legs and I sat down heavily as Lena's
grief and fear communicated itself to me; dad, my dad, was seriously ill,
there was no cure for what he had, and it was going to kill him; not now,
not tomorrow, but soon, far too soon, and I'd wasted precious time being a
prick, being angry with him.  I knew exactly what pneumoconiosis was, and
all its variants, what an insidious slow killer it was, and what was in
store for my dad.  Going to Cyprus was a desperation move dreamed up by his
doctor; there was nothing that could help him now...
   I felt stupid and disloyal, a complete bastard, venting anger and
childish spite on a sick man.  I suddenly realised just how petty and
thoughtless I'd been; he and mum had spent my whole life being my parents;
they'd never made any difference between Lena and me, and the fact they'd
never adopted me was inconsequential, a mere detail.  My dad was dying, and
I was here, 150 miles away, sulking like a spoiled child after a stupid,
thoughtless outburst.
   My heart lurched and turned over in my chest as I remembered all the
times he'd been there for me, and those times I'd not listened to him, or
silently cursed him, or ignored him, or just plain disobeyed him, and a
part of me yearned desperately for the chance to go back and undo each and
every one of them.  If God, the universe, whatever would just let me do
that, perhaps this present wouldn't have happened, and he'd still be hale
and healthy.  Foolish, I know, but right then I'd have given my soul and
every breath in my body for the chance to have him back as he should be,
growing old peacefully, here, with us around him, not choking his life out
in a foreign country.
   I managed to find my way to mum, to kneel by her side and take her hand.
She hugged me close and held me as she cried, and what was left of my
self-control evaporated as I realised she was as frightened as I was.  The
tears spilled out of me as I cried for my dad, for the hole in my life that
should have been filled by him for years to come.  Lena took my hand, and
slid down next to me, her head in my neck as she hugged me, silent sobs
wracking her body.
   Eventually the tears stopped, as they must, and mum, Lena and I sat
motionless, each of us busy with our own thoughts and memories.  A thought
occurred to me.
   "Mum, if you're here, who's with dad?"
   Lena's head snapped up at that, as the same thought echoed in her.
   Mum smiled gently, her bottom lip still quivering slightly.
   "Your Auntie Min's with him, she'll keep him entertained and occupied
until I get home.  Will you come back home, kids?  Please?"
   For answer, I went into the bedroom and started stuffing clean clothes
into a holdall, signalling Lena to do the same.  While I was packing I
asked her how she'd come down from Bristol, as I couldn't see her car, and
she told me she'd been brought down by Aunt Min's son, who'd taken his
mother up to Bristol to see dad.
   Once I'd finished packing, Lena began rummaging around for her clothes
and knick-knacks, mum watching her and noting that we were both using the
same bedroom, same closets, and the same bed.  Lena and I finished by
making the bed and switching off the fridge, putting all the perishables in
a carrier bag to take with us rather than throw them away.  Mum forbore to
comment on any of this, her suspicions obviously confirmed, but also
recognising that there were other, more important things to deal with right
now.
   The drive back was subdued.  We drove non-stop, mum at the wheel of my
Golf while Lena and I held hands in the back seat, too numb to talk and
only dimly aware of the other's presence as the fear galloped around inside
us, getting bigger with every mile closer to home.
   When we arrived back at the house, Aunt Min let us in, holding her
finger to her lips to tell us to be quiet.  She looked drawn and pale, and
also looked smaller, as though what was unfolding here was somehow
diminishing her.  Min was Dad's older sister, larger than life and usually
the life of the party, always the first to arrive and the last to leave,
loud, brash, and fun, her chubby fingers banging away at the piano, her
arms festooned with expensive gold bangles and cheap clanking costume
jewellery, swilling down gin & orange and Port & Lemon by the bucketful. 
She was always good for some extra cash at Christmas, as Lena and I well
knew, as well as a peppermint, a cough-sweet or a large toffee when mum
wasn't looking.  She was extrovert and jolly, trailing Chanel No.5 and
peppermint behind her wherever she went; now, to see her subdued like this
made my heart leap into my mouth; had something happened while mum was
away? A movement caught my eye, and there in the doorway to the dining room
was Aunt Doreen, dad's oldest sister.
   She was a spinster who lived a few miles away and she was the complete
opposite of Min; slender, quiet, reserved, plainly dressed, with no
jewellery or make-up.  She was a calm, elegant, empathic, quietly witty
lady, a retired Headmistress, but in her own way as fun and comforting to
have around as Min; when I was a boy, she'd always been my refuge when mum
wasn't around, and I loved her dearly.  Now she came to us as we came in
the front door, and took my face in her hands, kissing my forehead briefly
before hugging me.
   "Darryl, we heard what happened, what was said, and I want you to know,
you are loved, we all love you, and we need you to be here, with us.  Your
dad needs you, go and see him, please."
   I broke down then, Doreen holding me close as I turned into a scared
five year-old again, only this time I was scared for my dad, for what he
was going to tell me, so afraid I was going to hear something that would
destroy me completely.  My anger at my parents was gone; it was foolish,
childish and wrong; now I really had something to worry about, and I was
scared I wouldn't be able to handle it.
   Doreen seemed to understand all this, her soft hand on my face as she
comforted me the way she had when I was a small child.  I looked up and
there was Lena holding Min, her face buried in Min's shoulder.
   Doreen ruffled my hair, a gesture from my boyhood.
   "Come on, Darryl, go and talk to your dad; he knows you're here, he's in
the sitting room; go on now!"
   I looked fearfully at Lena, and she wiped her eyes and took my hand,
letting me lead her to the sitting room door.  I knocked, and cracked the
door open, and there was dad snoozing in his old recliner chair, looking
for all the world as though there was nothing wrong whatsoever.
   As we looked in on him, he opened one eye and looked right at us.
   "So you came back, then!" he grinned, taking any sting out of it.  "Come
in, don't stand there hovering, both of you, come on in; I'm not dead yet!"
   He looked so normal, for a second a wild hope flared in me; this was
just a nightmare, he looked so...dad...how could he be so sick?
   Lena gulped, biting back more tears, and pushed past me to cross over to
him and hug him tightly.  I was just a second behind her, biting my lip
desperately so I didn't start bawling like a three year-old.
   Dad sat up (with a certain amount of difficulty, I noted) and hugged her
properly, holding my arm as he did so.  His grip still seemed strong,
confident, but his chest...
   I could hear the churning, undersea sound as he breathed in and out, my
heart sinking as I realised how serious his condition really was; all this
time he'd kept it from us, obviously masking his condition with his meds,
and now it was only a matter of time, and probably not much of that...
   Lena saw that as well, my expression must have showed what I was
thinking, and two big tears rolled down her cheeks.  I could feel my eyes
brimming as loss and fear fought with guilt over what I'd said in the first
heat of anger, something dad also saw.  He wiped Lena's tears away,
catching the end of her nose as he did, grinning his old grin, and Lena
smiling back in spite of herself.  Then dad did something he'd not done to
me since I was a small boy; he pulled me down close to him, and kissed me
once on the cheek, his way of saying it was alright, that we were okay
again.
   I didn't want that, it felt like goodbye to me, and I wasn't ready to
say goodbye to my dad, not yet, not for a long time to come.  But it wasn't
going to happen.  My dad was going, long before his time, and there was
nothing I could do about it; there's that old saw about 'Physician, heal
thyself', what I wanted was to heal my dad; but I couldn't.
   Dad obviously picked up on the tenor of my thoughts, and grinned at me,
his old self suddenly gleaming through.
   "Let it go Darryl, there's nothing you can do about it; this started a
long time ago, before you were born, I just never knew it.  Now it's come
to this.  You can't do anything for me, so just look after your mum and
your sister for me, okay?"
   I nodded mutely, unable to say anything, but marvelling at his calm
acceptance of his impending mortality; people are intellectually aware of
the fact of their own death one day; no-one is going to live forever.  But
most people are also emotionally incapable of accepting the fact of their
own death one day, unable to accept that the world will go on without them.
Dad seemed to have a handle on that, and his calm acceptance certainly
calmed me down, even though I was still incapable of contemplating a world
without him in it.
   He grinned up at me again.
   "Say something, son, you look like someone just smacked you with a big
fish!"
   I didn't know where to start.
   "Dad, I'm sorry, I acted like a complete dick, I'm so sorry...!"
   He held his hand up.
   "Calm down Darryl!  We dropped a huge cowpat on you; I'm not surprised
you flew off the handle!  It's okay, you said your piece and charged off,
now you're back, it's over.  My kids are back, so no harm done!  There was
a time I thought we'd really lost you, that was the only time I was scared
you'd go and I'd never see you again.  I hoped you'd be back once you
blew-off some steam; you're just like your mother in that respect.  I wish
I knew where she was.  Once she left you, I never saw her again; I don't
know what I did to make her leave, there were no words or anything, she
just...left, but there's been no word from her in 25 years, now it's
probably too late..."
   Lena started crying again, and dad reached up and gently rubbed her
cheek while looking directly into my eyes.
   "I know how Lena feels about you, and I just want to say one thing while
I still can; don't you hurt her; she's spent her life wanting you, don't
make her regret it."
   I gaped at him.
   "Dad, you...know?"
   He looked away testily.
   "Of course I know, Darryl, you're my kids, I know all about how you feel
about each other and what you've probably already done; I have eyes and a
brain too, you know!"
   He clicked the button on the chair and it folded upright, sitting him up
and enabling him to look at both of us.
   "Now, where was I?  Oh yes, you and Lena.  As I was going to say, I knew
something like this would happen, it was only a matter of time, I suppose.
The two of you were always closer than usual, and after that business when
you were younger, it became even more obvious, even without Lena crying for
you every night.  Your mum and I discussed it a lot; I wanted to split you
two up, your mum wanted to leave you to grow up and hope you drifted apart.
We were both wrong, and we would have been wrong no matter what we did, so
we did nothing and hoped it would go away."
   I couldn't contain my curiosity.
   "How long have you known?" I asked, and he smiled back.
   "I've always known.  If you mean 'when did I know for certain'?  It was
about two minutes ago; you really should learn to keep a cap on it, you
know; how do you expect to face a firing squad if you can't keep calm and
self-possessed under the slightest pressure?"
   I said something about never actually planning on facing a firing-squad,
which he brushed-of as 'a mere detail'.
   "Darryl, every man should live his life as though the firing squad was
around the next corner; don't leave things un-done that should be finished,
don't leave things un-said that should be said, don't leave loose ends for
others to try and tie up, and leave your mark, but lightly; plan for the
future, but live in the now, change the world, if you can, but don't damage
it along the way, and leave memories that others will be proud to keep and
cherish."
   I nodded, finally listening to the words I should have been listening to
all my life; I always thought I'd have all the time in the world to listen
to this from him, now suddenly that wasn't true.
   The door opened, and mum, Doreen and Min came in, mum looking relieved
that we were all talking and actually smiling again.  Dad asked mum to pass
him a large Manila folder from the bureau, and he took out various
documents.
   "Darryl, Lena, these are the deeds to the house, it's yours, both of
you. Mum and I bought a place in Kolossi, in the Akrotiri Sovereign Base
Area part of the village, and she won't be returning after...you know, so
you can do what you like with this place.  It's split 50/50 between you
both, so the two of you can decide what you want to do with it.  There are
various funds and suchlike, mum and I will be needing them, so all we have
to leave you is the house, it's up to you what the pair of you do with it;
all I'll say is it's a nice family home..."
   "Just remember one thing; we'll always be your parents, and we're not
abandoning you; your mother and I have to go, but Doreen and Min will still
be here, so you'll still have family nearby."
   Mum passed the folder to me, but I handed it to Lena, and hugged mum
instead.
   "Mum, I'm sorry, I was wrong to say what I said, you are my mum, and you
always were.  If you want to slap my face, go ahead, I deserve it for what
I said to you; you will always be my mum, and I love you more than anything
in the world!"
   Mum hugged me tight, then let go so Min could hug me as well.  As she
let go of me, she murmured "just one other thing, Darryl..., " and with
that gave me a slap that made my head sing.  As I reeled back, she stood
over me, back to her full size and terrifying with it, looking like a
Spanish galleon in full sail as she bore down on me and jabbed me in the
chest with her pudgy forefinger.
   "If you ever speak like that to anyone in this family ever again, I
promise you, Doctor Darryl 'High and Mighty' Morgan, I will pull down your
pants and spank your arse in front of everyone, do you hear me?"
   I could only nod, completely dumbfounded by this side of Min I'd never
seen before.  She glared back, her face red, then subsided and yanked me
close, hugging me like a friendly grizzly bear.  She abruptly held me out
at arms' length.
   "Always remember, baby, you have parents who love you, you have a family
that loves you, and if you ever forget that, I've got a right hand to
remind you of it, got it?!"
   I could only nod again, still too shocked to speak.  Doreen moved up and
I leaned back out of range, but she only smiled at me, and kissed me
lightly on the cheek.
   "Don't worry, I'm not going to slap you, Min drew that straw!" she
smiled.
   "And she lost?" I hazarded, and Doreen gave a wide grin.
   "No, she won!"
   I looked round to see Lena grinning, until at last she could hold it in
no longer, and she burst out laughing, breaking the tension in the room,
even dad smiling broadly at my complete drubbing.  At last I saw the funny
side too, and began to laugh, and when mum kissed me it was like coming
home for Christmas; I had my parents back, I still had them, I hadn't lost
them at all.
   Dinner was paradoxically, a joyful occasion; all my family was there at
once, it was a reunion in many ways, and nothing was allowed to mar the
happiness of the event.  Mum and dad played down the reason for us being
there, and never once referred to Lena and me except in the positive; that
they knew we'd be good for each other, that they knew we'd look after each
other, and so forth; even Min and Doreen, curtain-twitchers to the stars
and gossip-mongers extraordinaire, were acting so non-judgemental I was
starting to get suspicious, and I could see Lena's radar twitching as well.
   After a while, though, dad began to look drawn and pale, and his
breathing began to wheeze.  Lena looked at me in alarm.  I hurried around
to his side, opened his shirt and began massaging his chest, sending Lena
to get my bag from the car.  While she did that, I propped him upright and
held him against me as I compressed his chest, trying to ease his
breathing. The chest compressions seemed to help, his breathing sounding
less laboured and more normal after a few more compressions.
   Lena came rushing back with my bag, and held it open for me while I
rummaged around, pulling out my stethoscope and an inhaler.  As I listened
to his chest, I could hear everything that mum had told me; his heart
sounds were not good, laboured with a pronounced right-ventricular heave
and his lungs were congested, the functional impairment a possible
precursor of Congestive Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) and bearing
out what his doctor had identified, that he was already undergoing
progressive architectural destruction of the lungs.
   I was trying to be detached and professional, trying to maintain a calm
'bedside' manner, but I couldn't do it; this wasn't a relatively anonymous
patient, it was my dad, he was being eaten away inside, and there was
nothing I could do to stop it, slow it, or bring him back.  I glanced up at
Lena, trying to wear my 'doctor' face, but she knew me too well, and her
face paled as she saw what I'd found for myself.  Mum handed me his relief
medication, I checked the label, it was Salbutamol, a short-acting
Beta-Agonist usually used for COPD, and obviously it wasn't having too much
effect, which worried me even more, so I gave dad the inhaler from my bag
and asked him to give it three good long breaths.
   "What is this, son?" he asked.
   "It's Formeterol, it's a long-acting bronchodilator, it'll taste foul,
but it will help relax your lungs and make breathing a little easier. 
Three good breaths, now, as deep as you can!"
   He humoured me, the sound of his lungs wheezing as he inhaled breaking
my heart, but I tried not to let anything show; Lena was watching me, and I
had to be strong for her now.
   Dad leaned back, his eyes shut and his face red as the effort of taking
deep breaths told on him, and I waited anxiously for any sign of his
pulmonary distress abating.  After a while, he seemed to calm down, and his
breathing grew less laboured and more even.  Lena looked hopefully at me,
but I shook my head, trying desperately not to start tearing-up.  I'd seen
this so many times on the wards, and been clinical about it every time, but
this was my dad, and clinical detachment wasn't going to cut it this time.
   After a while, just when I thought he'd dropped off against me, he
opened one eye and smiled at me.  His breathing had levelled-off, and was
no longer churning and rasping in his chest.
   "Not bad, son, not so bad at all, all those years finally paid off!" and
I had to grin back.
   I looked over at mum.
   "How long has he been like this?" I asked her.
   Mum looked resigned.
   "These episodes have really only been getting worse in the last few
months; before that it wasn't so bad, just shortness of breath, coughing
fits, that kind of thing.  Of course we knew what it was; your father was
diagnosed almost three years ago, but we had reason to believe it wasn't
progressive, especially as he'd stopped working in the blade-grinding
section by then.  He was moved to a nice airy, well ventilated office well
away from possible airborne contaminants.  It was all going so well; he
wasn't getting any better, but he wasn't deteriorating either.  Then a few
months ago this breathing issue cropped up.  You know the rest.  Most days
he could go to work, come home, no problems, but that's not the case
anymore."
   Lena leaned over.
   "Mum, how will you and dad pay for treatment in Cyprus?  It's got to be
more expensive over there than here!"
   Mum leaned back slightly, suddenly looking less weary, almost relieved.
   "The company he worked for are settling an Industrial Injuries claim out
of court, and your dad's going to be receiving a large payout as
compensation, plus his pension and insurance, so we'll be okay.  The Base
Area hospital in Akrotiri provides free care for dependants of employees,
which is what I'll be; I quit my job at the Bristol Royal Infirmary to
become Head of the Renal Unit in Akrotiri.  Hopefully the climate and the
specialist care there will be helpful to your dad."
   Dad tapped my arm.
   "Help me upstairs, please son." He requested, and slowly, making sure I
didn't hurry him, we made our way upstairs, where I helped him into bed,
reviewed his medications, and set up his nebuliser.  I noted that there was
oxygen and a nasal cannula still in the unopened sterile packaging, which
was good, he wasn't far enough gone to need oxygen replenishment just yet.
I wondered at how much he'd deteriorated in just the couple of days since
I'd gone storming out like a spoiled brat, and wondered, with a sudden stab
of guilt, whether I'd been the cause of it.
   "Goodnight Dad!" I said, trying to sound cheerful, and he waved me
closer.
   "Darryl, did I ever tell you about my Great-Uncle Sidney?" he asked.
   I shook my head, so he continued.
   "He died of acute asbestosis, such a shame.  We had him cremated -- it
took two weeks...  Then there was your Uncle Freddy; he took Liver Salts
every day for 60 years, right up until the day he died.  Four days after
the funeral we had to go back to the cemetery and beat his liver to death
with a stick!"
   I roared with laughter while dad lay back, a smug grin on his face as I
left to go downstairs, still laughing, glad that my dad was together enough
to indulge in a bit of gallows humour...
   The sleeping arrangements that night were more traditional.  Min and
Doreen had the guest bedrooms on the top floor, Lena and I had our own
rooms on the second floor, and mum and dad were in their bedroom on the
floor below.  When we said goodnight, I saw mum tense up slightly, waiting
for us to announce that we were going to share a room, but that would have
been too much, given all that had gone before, and I almost felt the sigh
of relief when Lena and I went our separate ways.
   I woke fully alert; something had tripped my over-sensitive hearing; it
was the sound of my bedroom door inching open.  I looked at my watch, it
was after two a.m., and as I watched, Lena slipped into the room and padded
over to the bed.
   "Darryl!  Dar!  Wake up, it's me, move over!" came the loud stage
whisper.
   "Shush!  You'll wake the house!" I said in a less loud whisper as she
slid into my bed, her body warm and soft against mine.
   "What's the matter, princess, I thought we agreed...?" I began, but she
put her finger to my lip.
   "Just shut up and tell me one thing, Darryl.  How long?"
   I sighed and rolled onto my back, wishing desperately she'd not asked me
that one question.
   "Princess, please, don't...!" I began, but she instinctively elbowed me
in the ribs, her childhood persuader, before gasping and kissing me by way
of apology.
   "Sorry, baby, but just tell me!" she hissed, and I sighed again, trying
to not let emotion overcome me.
   "A year, maybe eighteen months, there, are you happy now you made me say
it?" I whispered, near tears now.
   "Dar, I'm so sorry, I had to know and I knew you'd tell me the truth. 
Please hold me, baby!"
   I was happy to; I needed someone now, in fact I needed Lena, just like
I'd always done, but this was one demon she wasn't going to help me get rid
of.  As I held her close, I realised her eyes were brimming over too, and I
reached up and wiped her tears away.
   "Don't do that, Lena.  Dad's doing this his way, and he doesn't want any
of this mourning and sobbing around him; I finally got that.  Remember what
he used to say to you when you were small?"
   Lena drew her arm across her eyes.
   "What, 'big girls don't cry'?  How did you remember that?"
   I kissed her on the corners of her eyes.  "It's my favourite song.  Now
shut up and go to sleep!"
   Lena still had something on her mind.
   "Darryl, do you think they'll forgive me for what I said to them?"
   I stared into the darkness.
   "Sis, all you did was grouch; I acted like a complete prick, I went
steaming out of the house like a spoiled four-year old in a tantrum, I'm
supposed to be a doctor and a rational adult, not an emotional juvenile. 
I'm surprised you didn't rear up and sock me one as well!  I just hope I've
learned enough not to jump the gun like that again."
   Lena kissed me.
   "You're a human being as well, when you lose that part of you is when
I'll start to worry.  Clinical detachment is all well and good, but you
can't bottle these things up inside forever and stay sane.  You got hurt,
you reacted.  It proves you're human, not some robotic medical android, and
I'm glad; it means the real Darryl, my Darryl, hasn't been discarded
somewhere so Doctor Darryl can take over.  Five years on the wards seeing
suffering every day hasn't hardened you or diluted your humanity, and I'm
glad."
   I kissed her back, glad for her simple support and understanding; those
things I'd said to mum were vile, done purely to hurt, and I deserved that
slap from Min; in fact, I probably deserved a couple more, but I consoled
myself with the fact that at least I knew that now.  I would never speak to
my mum or dad like that again.
   My head full of thoughts like these, I fell asleep with her head cradled
against my shoulder, my arm under her neck and her arm thrown across my
chest, the sound of her breathing finally lulling me to sleep.
   I awoke in the pre-dawn dark to find Lena cuddled up close against me.
Her eyes were tight closed, not moving under the eyelids, her breathing
slow and even; she was deeply asleep.  As I stirred, her arm on my chest
tightened, and she muttered "no Dar...stay here...me...love you....  before
falling silent again.  I slowly turned away from her, sliding my now-dead
arm from under her, and she rolled against me, her arm around my waist and
her hand flat against my stomach.  I froze, hoping not to disturb her, and,
after muttering something that sound like 'munumunumunum', she subsided,
her breathing deepening and slowing down again.
   I was enjoying the feel of her spooned against me, her arm around me,
when I felt her hand slowly moving south.  I moved it back only for it to
begin its slow-motion creep south again, leading me to wonder just how
deeply asleep she really was.  Ordinarily I would have happily joined-in,
but I was sharply aware of where we were, and why, and I really wasn't in
the mood for any hanky-panky.
   Lena mumbled against my back, her breasts pushing into me, and I
realised I could feel her stiff nipples like two fingertips poking me in
the back.  I wriggled my shoulder blades, to see what kind of reaction I'd
get, and was rewarded with a softly-hissed intake of breath.  Ah ha, so she
wanted to play silly buggers, good, this was a game I knew well, I knew the
rules, and I even had a few moves of my own!
   I wriggled my shoulder blades again, making her hiss again, then
abruptly slid to the other side of the bed, well away from her, grinning to
myself.
   "Darryl Morgan, you come back here this instant!" was the hissed
response this time.
   "I thought you were asleep, Lena!" I taunted her, getting a sharp pinch
for it.
   "Okay Sis, you win, what can I do for you, as if I didn't know?" I
leered at her, sliding back to her as I turned around to face her.
   "Hold me, Dar, the way you did yesterday!" she whispered, and I gladly
obliged, sliding my hands down to her lovely pert little bum and squeezing
the luscious cheeks through her panties like a market trader testing the
ripeness of the fruit.  Yep, these were ripe alright...
   Lena responded by grinding her mons against my rapidly hardening cock
and nipping my bottom lip as she did so, teasing me as I tried to kiss her.
I tugged the hem of her sleeping shirt, and she wriggled as she tugged it
up and over her head, leaving her in just her panties, the light silky
material stretched tight across the globes of her deliciously tempting
bottom.
   "Your turn!" she hissed softly at me, tugging at the waistband of my
shorts.  I obliged as I had no real option with her tugging at them,
sliding them off and allowing my stiff cock to spring forward into her
waiting hands.
   "Lena, this is not a good idea!" I hissed back, "you know who's here
don't you?  We're surrounded by the family, we must be out of our bloody
minds!"
   Lena leaned forward and licked the tip of my nose.
   "I know, cool, huh?  I feel so dirty right now, let's do something
really dirty!"
   I was trying to restrain my impulses, but my hands refused to leave her
perfect buttocks alone, and the thought of her naked was doing things to my
cock that no amount of Viagra could ever hope to compete with.  I slid my
hands inside the back of her panties, running my finger up and down the
deep crease between her buttocks, making her quiver and giggle softly.
   "You can do better than that, Dar, don't I inspire you?" she asked in a
sexy, little-girl lisp, and I grinned as I slid her panties down and pulled
her buttocks open, rubbing my finger over her tight little rosebud.  Lena
responded by pushing back against my hand, forcing her pucker against my
questing finger, so I slid one into the tight little hole, listening to the
gasp as I invaded her secret place.
   "There you go, you wanted dirty, how much dirtier do you want it to be?"
I grinned, thinking I was calling her bluff.
   "Keep that in there and fuck me, Dar, it feels so nice, I can imagine
how good it'll feel when you're shoving this into me!" she grinned,
squeezing the shaft of my straining cock.
   By now I was in no mood to stop.  Her nearness, her teasing and goading
me, and her hands squeezing my cock and massaging my balls could only have
one outcome.  I pulled her closer and rolled her on top of me, keeping my
finger inside her tight anus, wriggling it around and making 'come here'
curling motions with it as I pumped it in and out of her, making her gasp
as I positioned my cock at her entrance.  Lena wriggled and kicked her
panties down and off, straddling me as I rubbed my cock against her wet
pussy.
   "Now Dar, please, do me now!" she gasped, and I slowly slid into her,
enjoying immensely the tight constriction of her vagina around my twitching
cock.
   "Ooooh yesss, God yes, just like that, Dar, oh Christ yesss, ooohhh...!"
she murmured, gyrating her hips as she pumped herself on me.  For someone
who'd only ever done this for the first time 24 hours ago, she was a fast
and inventive learner, I had to admit!  I clasped hold of her bum with my
free hand, and leaned up to capture a nipple between my lips, groping,
plundering, and squeezing her backside as I chewed, licked, and sucked on
her delightfully firm and rubbery nipples.
   She began to hitch and pump harder against me, her breathing becoming
harsher as her orgasm approached, and I slid my finger out of her anus to
hold both her fabulous buttocks as I hammered into her, driving my cock up
into her as she pumped back down against me.
   Lena gave a muffled groan as her orgasm rolled over her, the convulsions
in her pussy almost making me come there and then in her unprotected pussy.
I gritted my teeth and kept pumping, feeling the sensations as the waves
rippled through her until she was done, and she slumped down on top of me,
her heart hammering against mine.  Eventually she raised up and leaned down
to kiss me happily.
   "Thank you, baby, God that was wonderful, but what about you?" she
asked, "what did you get out of that?"
   I smiled and helped her off my still rock-hard cock, and turned her
around, pulling her up on her knees so I could squeeze and rub her firm
breasts and hard nipples.  Lena has rose pink nipples, at least half an
inch when erect, and firm and solid to the touch, crowning firm, soft,
malleable breasts.  It was a delight and a feast for my hands to hold and
squeeze those beauties as I rubbed my cock in the cleft between her
beautiful buttocks.  Lena sighed and leaned back against me, her hands
going to my sides to steady herself as I rubbed and squeezed her breasts,
until she turned her head and kissed me on the side of the mouth.
   "Now Darryl, please...!"
   I bent her forward enough to slide my cock back into her depths, holding
her upright with my arm around her waist and one of her arms around the
back of my neck, holding herself against my steady thrusting.  We pumped
and thrust like this as the excitement built again; at one point I slid
both my hands up to cup her breasts as I pounded into her, while she rubbed
her clitoris as she thrust back against me.  At last she slumped down on
all fours, before laying her head flat on the pillow, her beautiful rump
thrust up at me.  I could clearly see her tight little anus winking at me
as I jammed my cock into her dripping pussy, and it was a terrific struggle
not to just let go and blast stream after stream of spunk into her tight,
unprotected pussy and take my chances; not that I cared; Lena was mine, and
I wanted to make her mine in every way, make babies with her, spend my life
with her.  But that was a choice she had to make too, it wasn't just mine
to make.
   I was approaching that point of no return, and as I clamped my hands
down on her lovely sculpted hindquarters, enjoying immensely the sight of
her lumbar dimples as her bottom quivered and shook from my thrusting into
her, I slid my thumb into her anus.
   That did it; she came with a muffled scream, her face buried in the
pillow as a massive orgasm ripped through her.  I barely managed to
withdraw before I came explosively, my sperm blasting out of me in long
jets, to splash on her marvellous bum, the backs of her thighs, and the
small of her back.
   I slumped over, my breath harsh in my throat as my chest bellowsed and
my heart hammered in my chest like a piston.  Lena slumped down flat on the
bed, her body dripping runnels of spunk, her breathing harsh and shallow as
she shuddered and quivered with aftershocks from her volcanic orgasm.  At
last I recovered enough to pick up my shirt and use it to wipe the mess
from her body, Lena mewing contentedly as I gently wiped her clean.
   As I wadded up my soiled shirt, Lena reached up and pulled me down next
to her.
   "Thank you Darryl, that was fabulous, I never felt so good.  You do
special things to me, you know that?  I want you to keep on doing that to
me forever!"
   I kissed her lightly.
   "I intend to, darling, believe me!  That was close, though, I don't have
any morning-after pills with me, so we should be a little more careful from
now on, okay?"
   Lena pulled herself close to me and looked me in the eyes, her eyes
luminous in the half light.
   "I meant it; you belong to me; you always have, you just didn't know it!
When this is all over, you and I have to have a talk about us, about our
life, and about our future.  We need to talk about what comes next.  Once
mum and dad leave, there's only you and I; Min and Doreen are old ladies,
we're really all we've got, so we have to sort our lives out; and by that I
mean who we are together, as a couple, not just as individuals.  I just
want to make one thing clear, though; I absolutely fucking refuse to be
your auntie!"
   She was right, of course, but I didn't want to think about what comes
next, because that meant thinking about life after my dad was gone, and I
couldn't go there, not yet.
   "Can we talk about this after they leave?  I promise I'll sit down with
you and we'll make some real plans.  Right now all I want is for you and me
to be together, for the two of us to be there for each other before they
leave.  Deal?"
   Lena looked me closely in the eyes, then nipped my chin again, which
seemed to be her way of sealing an agreement.
   "Deal, Darryl, after they leave!"
   "Good, now you'd better get back to your room before someone finds you
in here!" I grinned, Lena rather grandly ignoring me.
   "Shut up Darryl, I'm perfectly comfortable, I believe I'll stay right
here, now lie down and go back to sleep!"
   Grinning in defeat, I climbed back under the covers and hugged my kid
sister (for now, anyway...) to me, grateful for her presence, and aroused
by her condition i.e.  stark naked and just roundly fucked by me.  Lena
seemed to sense this, and squirmed around to meet me lip to lip, my hands
dropping down to cradle and gently knead her awesome little backside while
we spent a very enjoyable pre-dawn snogging session, something we hadn't
done enough of, in my opinion.  Kissing Lena was a sexy, satisfying, highly
arousing experience, and I was determined to enjoy every last second of it.
Her lips were soft, delightful, demanding, submissive, delicate to the
touch, a bondage I found it impossible to break away from; we indulged in
light, playful feather touch kisses, fleeting brushes of lip on lip and
tongue tip to tongue tip, long, indulgent, soulful kisses, mad, frenetic
French-kisses with duelling tongues and frantic scrabbling of hands as each
fought to hold the other down; in short, the entire spectrum of osculation
as we determined to explore the many and varied ways it was possible to
kiss one person.  Each time I kissed her, the bond with her deepened and
took firmer hold, until it anchored in the very bedrock of me.
   At last, stimulated beyond my ability to withstand it, I slid my
achingly erect penis into her once again, our lips locked together as we
made love as the couple we now were.  We made love, not animalistic fucking
to satisfy our urges, not copulating for the thrill of it, but rather our
own private sacrament, the final realisation, recognition, and fulfilment
of an underlying truth that had resonated between the two of us for years;
this was meant to be, we were meant for each other, and always had been. 
When we finally came, in a mutual orgasm like a blaze of liquid fire down
my spinal column, I barely managed to withdraw in time, my semen spraying
across her stomach and chest as I literally blasted myself empty on to her
beautiful, desirable body.  Lena clamped her mouth down on my shoulder, her
scream muffled as she bit down on me, her body quivering as waves of
pleasure threatened to overwhelm her as her orgasm rolled on and on.  When
we'd finished, we slumped down in exhaustion, uncaring where we were, only
that we finally got to sleep.
   I was awakened one more time, quiet sobs from Lena quivering in her and
jarring me awake.  I turned over and pulled her against me.
   "Why the tears, Lena, I thought we gone past that for now?" I asked her.
   "Oh Darryl, it hurts, it hurts so much!" she sobbed quietly, "Why did
this have to happen, and why did I have to know?  I liked being your little
sister, it was my favourite thing in the world, knowing how much you needed
me!  Now that's gone, and if I'm not your sister, who was I all those
years? Who am I now?"
   I hugged her close, letting her cry herself out, asking myself the same
question; who was I, really?
   We awoke together, the early morning sunshine waking me as it had done
every day of my childhood, flooding the room through the tall windows of
this classic Georgian house.  Lena was huddled up against me, her arm
around me and her head in the crook of my neck.  My eyes blinked open at
the same time as hers, and I was instantly blessed with a soft kiss on the
base of my throat.
   "Good morning Dar, how's my horny big brother this bright and cheerful
morning?" she smiled, her fit of the blues obviously passed.  She tweaked
my already painful morning erection and grinning knowingly.
   For answer, I slid my fingers around her naked, firm little backside and
into the cleft between her cheeks, rubbing and brushing my fingers over her
intriguing little rosebud, making her grin and bite her bottom lip.
   "Last night you said you wanted 'dirty';" I said, "I know a couple of
things we could do that fit the requirement; are you ready?"
   She clasped hold of my cock and began rubbing and squeezing it.
   "Why Darryl Morgan, whatever are you suggesting?" she asked
coquettishly, while simultaneously squeezing and massaging my scrotum,
making my balls tighten up in anticipation.
   I smiled as dirtily as I knew how.
   "You started this, you dirty girl, all I'm doing is following
instructions from my darling partner and wife to be!"
   Lena gasped, her beautiful eyes widening as she smiled a slow,
bewitching smile.
   "You'd better mean that, Darryl Morgan, don't you dare say something
like that unless you mean it!" she whispered.
   I pulled her closer by those enchanting buttocks, copping a serious feel
as I did so.
   "I meant every word, Lena.  We agreed, once mum and dad have left,
there's only you and me, so this is the only way we can go forward. 
There's only one girl for me, and there only ever will be -- but not my
sister, and definitely not my aunt, because I can't get my head around
either of those.  So there you are, one slightly bedraggled, out-of-work
doctor, it's all I have, but it's all yours, forever, debts and all, if
you're sure that's what you want!"
   Lena looked distantly at me.
   "So what will we be if I can't be your sister, which apparently is your
top option, and I refuse to accept that I'm your aunt?  What about what I
want?  Answer me, smart boy!"
   I could see that angry glint in her eyes, and thought I'd dropped a huge
clanger somewhere.  I quickly replayed everything I'd said, and then it hit
me; she was getting-off on the sister/brother fucking thing, she was
actually enjoying the whole 'this is incest, isn't it fun!' thing going on
here.  I had to put a stop to this, now, because I couldn't have a
relationship based solely on the fact that Lena wanted to live-out the
kink; we both had to be in for the same reason, or both out, no
half-measures.  I'd already emotionally re-adjusted my outlook to ignore
the fact that she was my aunt, and I wanted her, oh how I wanted her, but
only as Lena, a beautiful, desirable girl, not Lena, my aunt and sometime
sister.
   "Lena, I can't be with you while you're my sister, don't you get that?"
I asked her, looking her directly in the eyes.  "As long as I know I'm not
having sex with my sister, I can ignore the fact that you're my mythical
biological mother's half-sister; can't you see that?  It puts you far
enough outside the pale for the Darryl inside me to see you as fair game.
We can make this work, but not as we are; we have to change, we can't go
the rest of our lives with you being my sister and me trying to ignore it;
there's just too much history, too much baggage with that relationship;I
can't do it.  I can love you as a lover and partner, or as my sister; I
can't do both.  If you want to be my sister, that's all you'll have to be,
I'm sorry, so truly sorry, I can't do it any other way!"
   Lena was looking less hostile, but only slightly so.
   "So what you're saying is, I can be your sister, and no matter how I
feel about you, or what we've already done, that's all I'll ever be to you,
or I can stop being your sister, just let that go forever, which breaks my
heart, so you can love me like I want, is that the size of it?  I'll be
your, what, partner?  Girlfriend?  And you'll be the same to me, just a
normal couple, no 'brother/sister' thing going on?"
   I nodded, my own heart breaking for the loss I could see in her eyes.
   "I know some people would say that it's a bit late to be thinking like
that, considering what we've already done, and I have no excuse for that; I
got caught up in it and went along with it because it felt so good, and
you're so beautiful, and sexy and just hot, when what I should have done
was called a halt before it went this far.  I wasn't thinking straight
then, but now I want to be as honest with you as I know how, and I have to
tell you, I know now that I can't be with my sister, not in the way you
want.  I can be with you if I have a way for you to not be my sister,
otherwise it all falls apart for me; I should have thought about this, I'm
supposed to be the older one here, dammit!"
   "If you want to go back to just being my sister I'll understand; I'll
always love you anyway Lena, nothing's changed there, I'll have my little
sister back and we'll just keep on being brother and sister, and let this
slip away; I can't be your lover and your brother, it has to be one or the
other."
   Lena pulled herself closer to me, her hands on either side of my face as
she looked into my eyes.  I could see resolve in hers, and her mood
lightening, which was a good sign.
   "Of course I want to keep on being your sister, the thought of fucking
my big brother was a huge turn-on for me, but you say if I want you any
other way, I have to let that go, so we can be together as a normal couple?
Okay, it's done; I so want to be with you, and I want you to be with me in
the worst way, so I'll take you any way I can get you; at least this way I
get you with no reservations, no holding back from you, and just a few
small regrets from me, but I can live with those.  It's a deal, podnuh!"
she drawled like John Wayne, her good humour restored.
   She pulled me down and kissed me to seal the deal, her arms going around
my neck as I once more slid my hands down to knead and fondle those
splendid cheeks, my erection by this time truly epic; bone hard, brutally
swollen and distended out of all recognition.
   Lena felt me prodding her, and slid her hand down to grasp and squeeze
me, her eyes lighting up while mine nearly popped out...
   "Did I do this, Dar?" she asked in that sexy, little-girl lisp, and I
grinned back.
   "What can I say; you bring out the worst in me!"
   Lena pulled herself right up against me, her lips looking for mine, and
I obliged; she was a great kisser, no doubt about that...  While I kissed
her, I continued to lightly rub and circle her spongy little anus, feeling
the little hole jerk and contract as I tickled it, Lena gasping into my
mouth every time her little hole reacted to my probing fingers.  I moved
over her, holding her by her sexy little bum, and slowly slid my aching
cock into her sopping wet pussy, Lena breathing out in one long, drawn out
sigh as I slid in all the way.  Her arms tightened around my neck as she
raised her head to kiss me.
   "Okay Dar, now you've got me, do something dirty to me, make me howl
like a banshee, do something to make me glad I climbed into bed with you!"
   I grinned; I had something planned alright, but I learned one cardinal
rule in the St.  George's Medical School Poker and Getting Blitzed School;
never tip your hand until you're ready for the showdown.  I wasn't ready
just yet, I wanted her in just the right frame of mind for what I had in
mind; luckily she was almost there...
   I began a slow, languid pumping motion, gently sliding myself in and out
of her.  Lena laid back, relaxing her hold on my neck to slide her hands up
and down my back as I made love to her, her breath hot in my ear as she
nibbled and kissed the side of my face, my earlobe, and whispered how she
was feeling as I drilled as deep into her as I could get.  She began moving
more definitely against me, her pelvis rising up to meet me as I thrust
down, the two of us bound together as our bodies fought to stay in
synchronisation as we humped and pounded against each other.
   When her orgasm broke, I covered her mouth with mine, her cries of
release and satiation muffled by my lips and tongue.  She clamped her legs
around my thighs, holding me to her as she shook and mewled, eventually
releasing my lips from hers to pant against my shoulder as waves of
pleasure swept through her.  Eventually she slumped back, flushed and
breathless, her heart beating a pulse in the hollow of her throat.  I made
to move away from her, but she pulled me back down to her and kissed the
tip of my nose before biting it lightly, one eyebrow arched upwards in
query.
   "I thought you had something special and dirty to show me," she gritted,
"I wanted spectacularly filthy, imaginatively mucky, I got...this, which
was very, very nice, oh fuck yes, but come on Dar, where's that dirty,
perverted mind I've heard medical students all have?  I'm offering you a
chance to do your worst, don't make me take it back!"
   I looked at her, at that cheeky, challenging grin, and smiled back,
thinking; 'You have no idea, missy; never tease a strange dog, it might
just turn around and bite you on your arse...'
   I slid down between her thighs, kissing her lovely firm nipples, taking
the time to nibble and chew lightly on them, just enough to make her gasp
and push them back at me, asking for more of the same.  I moved further
down, planting kisses in a trail from between her breasts and down her
stomach to dip my tongue in her cute little navel, making her giggle and
quiver.
   "Darryl, stop it, it tickles!" she giggled, squirming happily as I
tickled her with my tongue-tip, so I obliged, continuing to make a trail of
kisses until I came to tip of her wet slit.  She smelled delicious, tangy,
spicy and sweet, and I dipped my tongue into her, tasting her syrupy
nectar. Lena shuddered as I did that, her thighs tensing as she sighed,
then moving further apart to afford me better access to her little honey
pot.  I slid and wriggled my tongue into her, tasting her slick, dewy flesh
as she sighed and held my head in place against her soaking wet pussy.
   I slowly slid two fingers into her as I licked and sucked her pussy,
Lena murmuring as I slid them in and out in time to my stabbing licks at
her clitoris.  Lena was pushing her mound into my face by now, my two
fingers inside her gently massaging the walls of her vagina as I licked and
sucked at her.  Now I withdrew them, and as I licked her, I slowly slid one
into her tight anus, making her gasp at the sensation.  Continuing to slide
it in and out, I carried on licking her, before sliding a second finger
into her tight little anus.
   "Oh God, Darryl, what are you doing...!" she exclaimed, starting up
before slumping back down with a groan as I sucked hard on her clitoris.  I
began making scissor movements with the two fingers buried in her arse,
slowly stretching her open as I frigged her, always licking her pussy,
keeping her at that peak of pleasure in readiness for what was coming next.
   I reluctantly moved away from her pussy, kneeling up on the bed as I
helped her to roll onto her stomach, then slid the two fingers back into
her bum, making her groan.  While I was doing that, I slid my cock into her
soaking wet pussy; it had been flagging a little, but the feel of her hot
tightness was enough to restore me to full solidity.  I pumped a couple of
times to lubricate me properly, then slid out of her and pushed my cock
head against her anus.
   Lena twigged-on immediately what I was doing.
   "No, Darryl, no, not that, not yet, no, stop, don't you dare...!"
   I leaned down and whispered in her ear;
   "You want dirty, you got dirty!" and with that I pushed forward gently
but firmly, Lena gasping as I slowly slid into her tight arsehole, my hands
holding hers outstretched on either side of her as I pushed into her.  The
feel of her ring snapping around the shaft of my cock was indescribable,
and Lena, for all her protestations, began pushing back against me, helping
me to slide even further in.
   At last I was in up to the hilt, my cock buried in Lena's tight, velvety
arse, my stomach resting against her plush, satiny bum-cheeks.  I lay
still, waiting for her to get used to the feel of this...thing jammed
tightly in her backside, listening to the constant, low-level muttering
coming from her.
   "Just you wait, Darryl Morgan, I mean it, stick your knob up my arse
would you, I'll fucking fix you, when this is done I'm going to fucking
kill you, you little shit...!" and so on.
   I leaned down and whispered in her ear "Are you happy now, Princess? 
You wanted dirty, I'm giving you dirty, now quit grumbling, shut your trap,
and ponder this; Confucius he say 'be careful what you wish for, you may
get it'!  Gung Hei Fat Choy, Happy fucking New Year!"
   Lena glared sideways at me.
   "When this is over, you're a dead man, Darryl, I swear..!" she hissed,
her voice outraged but her eyes saying something else entirely.
   I grinned and began to slide back out of her.
   "OH MY FUCKING GOD!" she whispered hoarsely, her body trembling as spasm
after spasm wracked her, her voice cracking as I slid further out then slid
back in again, then out and in again, ramming my cock her in her
tight-stretched anus, introducing her to the joys of anal sex, ani sexus,
le sexe anal, sodomiticum, however you say it, she was getting it and very
much enjoying it; who said 'one up the bum isn't much fun'?"
   She was orgasming almost continuously as I pumped into her, my hands
sliding under her to hold and squeeze her stiff nipples as I rammed my
bloated cock ever deeper into her searing hot anal tube.  Lena pumped back
against me as she rode my cock with her accommodating anus, the feel of her
velvety tightness squeezing and releasing me almost too much to bear.  As
she orgasmed, wave after wave crashing through her body, her uterus
fluttered rhythmically against the thin wall separating her rectum from her
juicy vagina, the contractions transmitting themselves into her rectum to
beat against my already over-stimulated cock.
   I hammered into her until I could feel my spunk rising as my balls
tightened, and held her tight to me as my cock head swelled in the
restricted confines of her anal tube.  I came like lightning, like hot
steel, like a river of lava, biting my lip hard to stop myself screaming
out loud as my cock wedged tight inside her.  My spunk sprayed into her hot
clasping rectum in endless thrilling jets of liquid heat, painting her
insides and bulleting deep into her bowels, filling her up to the brim with
my essence.
   Lena bit down on the pillow to muffle her scream of ecstasy as she came
in a gigantic orgasm that nearly dislodged me from her, her body shaking
like a leaf in a gale as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through her,
the feel of my release inside her triggering her own.
   "Oh God, Darryl, harder, oh fucking Christ, yesss, like that, yesss,
yesss, YESSS!  Oh God I love you, Darryl, fuck my arse, give it to me...!""
   At last the heat died down, our climaxes stilled, and our bodies relaxed
after the effort we'd expended.  My cock softened and slipped from her
tight confines, and Lena slumped down to lie motionless, her chest rising
and falling rapidly as she gasped for air.  I was in no better condition,
heart hammering and chest bellowsing from my exertions.
   After a while, Lena rolled over to put her arm around me and lightly
bite the tip of my chin.
   "That was...amazing, I never knew...!  Do that to me again, baby, that
was the best thing ever, oh God it was sooo good, only, next time, give me
a little more warning before you shove that pump handle up the old
tight-spot!  Where did you learn that?"
   I grinned at her.
   "Gower Street Nurses Quarters, so many young, willing, sex-starved,
nubile, needy nurses, so few male medical students...!"
   She reached out and pinched my nipple, hard.
   "You're a filthy disgusting animal, no woman's safe from you; just
remind me to have you boiled in Listerine, God knows what you've picked-up,
from God knows who!" she grinned,
   I slid my hands around her soft firm buttocks and pulled her against me
as I kissed her.
   "Are we okay now, Lena?" I asked her, "I only ever wanted you, I know
that now.  It never occurred to me that the girl I was looking for all
along was you, and I know there were things you wanted out of this that I
can't do, not yet, or even deal with, but...maybe later.  Whatever happens,
I want you to know, it will only ever be you, always."
   Lena nuzzled my nose gently with hers.
   "I know, and I know you know what I want from you, and maybe one day you
can be that as well.  Until then, if you don't mind, I'll keep my big
brother locked away inside me; I won't get rid of him; who knows, I might
need him back again one day!  Until then, we'll be Darryl and Lena Morgan,
a loving couple, and hopefully parents, one day soon!"
   I had to grin; this was the deal she wanted, and to be honest, it wasn't
that big a deal, if it meant she was happy with the small compromise I'd
asked of her; to forget for now that I was her brother so we could be what
we both wanted, a real couple.
   As I lay there, absently fondling her and stroking her smooth flanks,
something she'd said finally caught my attention.  I leaned back to look at
her closely.
   "Parents?  Is that what you want, a baby?  When?"
   Lena slid her finger around on my chest in a meaningless pattern while I
waited to hear what she wanted; to be honest, the thought of making babies
with her was a very exciting one, so I just needed to know when she was
expecting this to happen, and how she planned to deal with it.  Eventually
she rolled me onto my back, and leaned up over me, which put her sexy bum
within easy reach, a fact I immediately took full advantage of.
   "Dar, you say dad's only got a year, maybe eighteen months left, okay, I
don't want to believe you, but I have to.  So I want to give him something
before he's gone; I want him to hold his grandchild at least once before we
lose him.  I want you to give me a baby, our baby, so dad will see and hold
that baby, and know that life will go on for us and his family.  Is it so
wrong of me to want that for us, and for him?"
   Tears were running down her cheeks, and I had a huge lump in my throat
as well.  Our baby, the result of our love and commitment, would be the
perfect gift to give him before it was too late.  I realised that more than
anything, I wanted to take that picture of my dad holding my child,
something to treasure against the coming loss, all the years we would never
have with him.  However, a few realities needed to intrude here.
   "Darling, I don't have a job, or even a proper home, not somewhere we
can bring up a child, anyway.  How can we start thinking about babies when
we don't even know how we're going to feed ourselves in six month's time?"
   Lena pinched me again.
   "We have a home; this one!  Weren't you listening?  Dad gave us this
house, we have somewhere to live, and as for jobs, have you even looked at
local jobs, at vacancies here in the Bristol hospitals?  There are at least
eight hospitals here in Bristol quite apart from Frenchay, Southmead and
the Royal Infirmary, and so many more in Somerset, have you applied to
them? No, you only applied to London hospitals.  Take a chance, Dar,
please, for me, for you, for both of us.  I'm ovulating in the next few
days, I want to make my baby here, with you, in this house where we grew up
with so much love!"
   She was right; I'd only applied to London hospitals, and only the bigger
ones at that, hoping they'd select me from the hundreds of applicants they
probably got for each surgical vacancy they advertised.  Maybe I could do
worse than be a doctor in my home town, perhaps I didn't need the prestige
of working at one of the top London hospitals, plus, the thought of making
babies with Lena appealed enormously; she was gorgeous, sexy, determined,
and she believed in me, all evidence to the contrary.  She'd chosen me to
be the father of her baby; with her believing in me, perhaps that was all I
needed to make it work.
   "Give me a couple of days, baby, I'll start making some calls, maybe I
can scare up an interview, or maybe even a Locum spot somewhere, just
something to get me into the system."
   Lena smiled tremulously, looking so adorable I had to gather her in to
me.  I couldn't help but glory in the feeling of this vital, sparkling girl
in my arms, basking in the fact that she was mine, that maybe I had finally
grown-up enough to deserve her, and resolving to do everything humanly
possible to keep her wanting me the way she did right now.
   The sound of footsteps overhead reminded us that there were other people
in the house, and that Lena needed to get back to her own room before she
was discovered 'in flagrante' in my room; not that we really cared; the cat
was pretty much out of the bag now, but there was no mileage in rubbing
everyone's noses in it either.  With a dazzling smile, a hot kiss, and a
breathtaking wriggle as she slid her sleeping t-shirt back on that made my
cock sit up and take notice, she was gone, padding silently out of my room
and flitting down the corridor to her own.
   After I'd had a long, leisurely shower, I came downstairs to find mum
and Lena making breakfast, the smell of toast and bacon making my stomach
rumble, while dad, looking much better than he had last night, was sitting
at the table reading some papers.  As I came into the kitchen, Min opened
the doors to the dining room and we all trooped through, mum, Lena, Min and
Doreen bringing all the breakfast things through to set them on the table.
Lena ate her staple breakfast, the one she'd had nearly every day of her
life; a slice of toast smothered in baked beans, with a fried egg and two
rashers of bacon on top, the sight of it making me feel pleasantly
nostalgic for the days when we were still kids, before everything happened
that had brought us here today.
   While Lena and the aunts chatted, I sat with mum and tried to make
conversation while keeping one eye cocked on dad, just in case.  After a
while he put down his coffee and folded the last of the papers he'd brought
through with him.  He looked at me meaningfully, so I interrupted Lena so
she could hear this too.
   "Kids, the last of the property deeds have been signed and assigned to
you; this house is now legally yours; there's a folder on the kitchen table
with all the Land Registry stuff in it, get a safety deposit box and keep
that safe, it's your title to this place.  That's not it though; your
mother and I have something important to tell you."
   He looked at mum, who nodded.
   "We confirmed our flights this morning; we'll be leaving tomorrow, we'd
like it if you could come and see us off, but I don't want you to come to
Cyprus with us, it would be far too depressing watching you leave to come
home.  It's better this way; mum and I want to get settled-in first before
you to come and see us, so give us a month or so first, okay?"
   I heard a clatter as Lena dropped her fork onto her plate.
   "So...soon?  Mum?  Daddy?  You're leaving?  No, not yet, a little
longer, please, don't go, daddy?  Please?"
   Mum was suddenly at her side, holding her close as she continued to
protest.  I said nothing; what could I say?  I knew every minute here was a
minute less for him, he had to go soon, and the sooner the better; it still
didn't make it any better, though.
   "Dar, please, tell them, not yet, please, I want my dad a little longer,
please..." She was in tears now, and she pushed mum away and ran upstairs,
her bedroom door slamming a few seconds later.  Mum looked at me in mute
appeal, and I nodded, going after her.
   I found her in her closet, sitting on the floor with her forehead
resting on her knees, her arms hugging her knees the way she would when she
was ten years old when something had upset her.  I sat next to her, leaning
against the wall, carefully not touching her; Lena lets you know when she
wants to be touched, and right now she was radiating her 'keep away' field
cranked up high.
   After a while she spoke to me, her voice low and muffled.
   "You didn't say anything, not a thing.  Why not Dar?"
   I sighed and let my head loll back against the wall.
   "Because I know, and so do you, that it would do no good.  They have to
go, you know that, and nothing you or I could say would stop them, not if
dad's to have any chance of living just a little longer.  They have to go,
and I won't try and stop them; neither will you.  We have to let them go,
but you should go with them, if you feel you need to, there's nothing
holding you here, and I'll still be here when you get back, no matter how
long it takes."
   Lena looked up at me.
   "You'd let me go with them, stay with them until...until it's over, and
you'll wait for me?  Really?"
   I nodded and took her hand, kissing the back of it.
   "I told you earlier, there's no-one else for me, only you, and maybe you
need to do this.  I understand, truly, and I'll wait right here for you to
come back, I promise."
   Lena slid over next to me and wrapped her arm around my waist, resting
her head on my chest, the top of her head under my chin, like she used to
when she was small.
   Eventually she sat back up and looked up at me.
   "Okay, Dar, I think I can let them go now!" she smiled, her lip
trembling as two big tears quivered on her eyelashes.  I wiped them away
with my thumbs, brushing her hair back away from her beautiful face.
   "Less of that, young lady!" I grinned, "Big girls don't cry, remember?"
   Lena smiled back and leaned over to kiss me on the lips, a loving, warm
kiss, one that thanked and rewarded without being freighted with sexual
promise, a kiss between spouses.
   "You always knew what to say, Dar; I think that's why I love you so
much. You always made it right.  Thank you, for now and for all those other
times as well."
   I led her back downstairs, where mum was waiting anxiously, her face
relaxing when Lena smiled at her.
   "We'll wait 6 weeks then we're coming out to see you, okay?  Make sure
you kill the fatted calf, it's been a long time since I ate a fat calf!"
   Dad grinned at her joke, and reached up to take her hand, his other hand
stroking her cheek as he nodded gratefully at me.  Mum came up and hugged
Lena as well, dissipating the last of the tenseness between them.
   Breakfast continued, mum and dad telling us more about their travelling
plans, with me trying to be as interested and supportive as I could, while
Lena just stared intently at them, drinking-in every detail of their faces,
storing up memories of them while they were still here with us in England.
   Mum was curious about what my plans were once they'd gone, and I had to
gather my thoughts; my plans and hopes were far down the agenda at the
moment, I was still trying to come to terms with so many life-altering
changes; the impending loss of my dad, my mum going away to basically sit
the death-watch over him, my drastically and dramatically changed
relationship with Lena, and the shock of actually growing up overnight; it
would be true to say my head felt like it was bursting with trying to cope
with so many changes in so short a time.
   At last I was sufficiently together to answer her, seeing the hope grow
in her eyes that I was going be alright.
   "Well, mum, you've given us the family home, so I think my plans entail
finding a job here in Bristol -- Lena and I have to eat, pay the bills,
keep the lights on and the house in good shape, so no, I'm not planning on
doing a bunk for London just yet.  I can't speak for Lena, but I'm not
going anywhere."
   Lena squeezed my hand under the table, which I think mum caught, from
the sudden change in her expression.
   "Lena, what about you?" she asked, more for form's sake than because she
had to ask; Lena was staying with me, here, in her home, and mum knew, or
guessed, or intuited what was going on between the two of us.
   "I'm staying with Darryl; this is my home too, and I don't want to leave
it; I'm not leaving Darryl behind again!"
   Mum looked sad at that.
   "Is that how it is, then, the two of you...?" and we both nodded, unable
to lie to her, unable to deny any longer what was happening between us.
   Min chose that moment to speak up.
   "Let it go, Maureen, and don't worry about them, they'll be okay; they
have what they want, and they have what they need; just be happy for them."
   I snapped round to look at Min, hardly expecting her to understand, or
to catch the smile of understanding and approval on Doreen's face.  Min
took my hand.
   "Darryl, Lena, are you both positive this is what you really want? 
Because what you do now is for real, and there's no going back, so tell me,
are you ready for this?"
   I looked at dad, but he was obviously waiting for my answer, as was
Lena, her eyes shining with unshed tears.
   "Mum, dad, Aunt Min, Lena and I love each other.  We've had a whole
lifetime to work this out, even if I didn't know that was what I was doing.
There's no-one else for me, there never really has been, there's only Lena,
and I can't leave her, I won't.  I love her, and I always will.  Mum, you
and dad can go away now, Lena and I will be fine, I promise, we'll be here,
we'll always be here for each other!"
   Mum hugged me, kissed me on the forehead and slipped a small package
into my hand.
   "Open it and give it to Lena!" she whispered, so I opened it.  Inside
was an antique gold engagement ring, a cluster of small diamonds in a small
exquisite heart setting.
   "It was your Great-Grandmother's, now go on, you know what to do!"
   to be continued....
   pics---->> http://bit.ly/1QdQXsD
  
BigGirlsDontCryCh02