Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 Title: Big Girls Don't Cry Ch.  01
Summary: A surprise is in store for Darryl and his little sister.
Keywords: inc,fic
   So here I am, hammering my cock into my kid sister, and my aunt loves
every second of it.  I kiss my sister hungrily as I pound into her, and my
aunt kisses me back just as needily.  Confused?  I was, so let me clue you
in, by beginning at the beginning.
   I grew up in Bristol in the 1980's, in Clifton, the elegant
Regency-period town-within-the-town at the top of the Avon Gorge, in the
west of England.  I had only one sibling, a sister, Marlene, Lena for
short, who was just under a year younger than me.  We lived in a huge,
echoing, icy-cold Georgian house near Clifton College and the famous
Clifton suspension bridge, attended the local Catholic primary school, and
maintained the usual older brother/annoying little sister relationship that
one would expect from our normal background and family life.
   Dad worked at Rolls-Royce, in the engine division at Filton, precision
machining blades for jet turbines.  Mum was a Head Nurse in the Renal Unit
at the Bristol Royal Infirmary in the centre of Bristol, not too far from
where we lived.  When I left Primary School and moved into Secondary
School, Lena was devastated.  Every day of her entire school life, I'd
taken her to school, sat with her in the dining hall for lunch, and then
brought her home with me in the afternoon, and now she'd have to do that
journey and spend the day alone, for a whole year.  She was not happy, and
the thing about Lena is, when she's not happy, she gets democratic and
makes sure everybody gets some, so there was a lot of ill-feeling and
tantrums.  The only bright spot (for her) was that my new school, over in
Long Ashton, gave out 45 minutes before her school, so I had time to get
home and go and collect her, and this became my routine.
   I honestly never minded; Lena was a pretty little girl, tall for her
age, with long, straight, bright chestnut hair cut in bangs, and piercing
blue eyes, just like mum (and nothing like me, which should have given me
pause for thought; I had dusty blonde hair, and green eyes; dad had light
brown hair and blue eyes too, so I should have wondered where my green eyes
came from; but I never did), and she would tell me of her day, hold my hand
when we crossed the road, and basically enjoy as much of my time as I was
able to give her.
   It turned out to be quite a lot; dad's workplace was way across the
other side of town, and mum worked unpredictable and irregular shifts, so
Lena and I would be home first most of the time, so we'd do whatever
homework we had, and usually be finished by the time dad came in, around
6pm or so.  Dad would start dinner, and collapse exhausted in a recliner
while Lena and I would potter around, talk, watch TV while keeping an eye
on whatever was cooking, and generally kill time until mum came home.  Not
an exciting life, but a normal one.
   When Lena hit 11, she moved up into secondary school, and she of course
elected to attend my school, no surprises there.  As I was now one year
ahead of her, (Year Seven) I was becoming allergic to her presence; I was
starting to hit that age when girls become...interesting, and the last
thing I needed when I was trying to look all windswept and interestingly
cool to Year Seven girls was to have my Year Six sister hanging around me
all the time.  As I got older, it got worse, and I started telling her to
leave me alone, to get lost, and I took to avoiding her as my embarrassment
at having her hanging around me grew.  Now, when I look back on how I was
with her, I hate myself; she was my little sister, and for years I'd been
the centre of her world, and now here I was, pushing her away, and not
being too polite about it either.
   I didn't pick up on this, of course; all I knew was that I'd come home
from school, alone, having ducked her somewhere, then hear her slam in and
run up to her room and start crying, but it never occurred to me that it
was me making her cry.  And it never occurred to me to go and comfort her;
that wasn't my job anymore, I was a grown-up now.  Yes, I know, don't
judge, you were a young teen boy yourself once.
   I never noticed she was growing, either, I never noticed anything about
her these days, self-absorbed little tick that I was, and Lena was becoming
more and more attractive as she got older.  When I was 16, one of my
classmates told me he was going to ask Lena out.  I was a little puzzled as
to why he'd want to ask out a Year 10, when he was a Year 11, and he looked
at me like I was stupid.
   "Because Lena's a real looker, that's why!  Any objections if I ask her
out?"
   I said something along the lines of "why are you telling me, I don't
care, just keep your hands to yourself!" and off he went to ask her out to
the cinema that night.  A couple of hours later, our paths crossed and I
remembered that he was going to ask my sister out.
   "So what did she say?" I asked him, more out of something to say than
any real interest.
   "She asked me what you said, so I told her you said you didn't care, and
she got mad at me, and started crying and stormed off like I just spat on
her or something.  Your sister's a fruit loop, did you know that?" he said
nastily, so I dragged him around a corner and smacked him around a little,
just to remind him to watch what he said about my sister, but it was
automatic outrage, done because it was expected of me, not because I felt
he was impugning my sister - I truly thought I didn't care what he said
about her.
   When I got home that afternoon, delayed because of cricket practice,
Lena was already home, locked away in her room, so I left her to it, and
got down to my homework.  I heard mum come in, then dad, and soon I started
smelling dinner being prepared.  I was miles away in my history homework
when a knock on my door brought me back to the present day.
   "Come in!" I called and when no-one did I walked over and opened the
door.  Lena was standing there, her face tear stained and her eyes red, so
I asked her what the problem was.
   "Darryl, why do you hate me?" she asked me flatly, catching me
off-balance, so I blustered a reply.
   "Don't be so daft, I don't hate you, what a stupid question!"
   She looked ready to cry again.  "You do hate me, you won't talk to me,
you avoid me, you're rude to me all the time, you're always angry with me.
Why are you so angry with me, Darryl?  I never did anything to you, yet you
won't even let me talk to you!  What did I ever do to you to make you hate
me so much?"
   Nothing at all.  She'd done absolutely nothing.
   I had no answer, other than the right one, which was I'd gotten so used
to ignoring her in my quest to look cool, I didn't know how else to treat
her anymore.  She only ever tried to be nice to me, and I treated her like
she didn't exist, or I took everything out on her, when it wasn't her fault
at all.  Realising that only made me angry with myself, and she was
standing there, the perfect target.
   "Look, you half-wit, I don't hate you, but I really have no time for you
or your pathetic whining, I don't care what you think, and I don't care
what you do, or who you do it with, just as long as you do it somewhere
else, and leave me alone!  Now piss off and stop annoying me; get some
friends, get a life, and stay out of mine!"
   I said it to hurt, and she looked liked I'd slapped her, the tears ran
down her face, and I knew I'd finally gone too far, but it was too late,
the words had been said, and I couldn't recall them.  All she'd wanted was
some time with her big brother, for me to hug her and say "don't be silly,
of course I don't hate you!" and sit down with her for five minutes, and I
didn't even have that for her.  Oh I'd fucked-up royally; I knew it there
and then.
   Lena turned and ran into her room, sobbing, and I followed her as she
slammed her door.  I knocked and called out to her, telling her I was
sorry, but it was already too late; in her mind I'd finally told her what I
really thought of her, and now I'd lost her for good.  She never came down
for dinner, and mum went up to see what was wrong, coming back down to
stare daggers at me.  She and dad had a whispered conference in the
kitchen, then dad called me into the lounge.
   "Darryl, just what did you say to Lena?  She's upstairs having
hysterics, what did you do?"
   He dragged the whole thing out of me, in pieces.  He and mum both knew I
was uncomfortable with Lena hanging around me, and as I gave him the
reasons for my outburst he looked less and less friendly.
   "So she wanted to know why you turned from her big brother into the
surly little prick you are now?  I would guess it's because you've turned
into a surly little prick.  She's only 15, and she looked up to you and
trusted you, and this is how you behave?  In another age I'd take my belt
to you, but now, you have to live with it.  She looked up to you, but you
had to go and tell her that you didn't care what she did, or what happened
to her!  You couldn't let her be your kid sister, just once in a while,
even for a little while.  Well, mister, you just proved how unworthy you
are of the respect and trust she's been trying to give you for years. 
Lena's been trying for years to be part of your life, and you never let her
in, not once, and now you've lost her.  I hope you feel proud of what
you've done; I hope it makes you feel big and manly!  I'm ashamed of you;
now just...just get out of my sight.  And stay away from your mother; she's
trying to fix what you did, and she's in no mood for your attitude and
smart mouth!  And you stay away from Lena, you hear me?"
   I slunk up to my room.  Everything he'd said was true, and now I'd have
to face what I'd said and done to my only kid sister.
   I didn't sleep much that night; everything I'd said, and everything dad
said, rolled around continuously in my mind.  When I came down for
breakfast in the morning, I didn't wait for the others, for Lena, I'd been
ordered to stay away from all of them, so I just grabbed a banana for
breakfast and left; anyway, I couldn't face anyone, not after last night.
   I spent all day trying to spot Lena in school, but had no luck, and went
home as late as I could, slinking into the house and up to my room.  When
mum called me for dinner, I made an excuse and went to bed early.  As a
consequence, I got up early, so again, I took a piece of fruit for
breakfast and left before anyone else was around.  Again, I spent the day
trying to spot Lena, and again no luck, and when I got in, I went straight
to my room and skipped dinner, again - I really had no appetite anymore, I
had my guilt to chew on, that kept me busy as I reflected on how completely
I'd managed to throw myself out of the family.
   This became my routine now, leave the house early, early, see Lena in
school and avoid her, go back as late as I could, do my homework and go to
bed.  I think the family got used to not having me at dinner; mum would
knock and call me, but I never answered, so she probably assumed I was
asleep, and sometimes Lena would knock too, calling out to me.  Dad would
come and knock for me too, I pointedly ignored all of them; I had nothing
more to do with them, and I was rapidly losing contact with them.  I'd find
some dinner on a tray outside my room in the morning, and I'd step over it,
or take it down and leave it on the counter, take some fruit and go to
school.  Weekends, I'd leave early in the morning, go to the cricket nets
at Bower Ashton and work on my batting form; then stay there 'til it got
too dark to see the ball, and I got too tired to swing that 2 ½ lb bat any
more, and then go home, let myself in, go to bed, and sleep like a stone.
   I hardly ever felt hungry, either, but I did get tired more easily, I
slept like a stone most of the evening and all night, and I had a lot of
really bad headaches.  This went on for weeks; I was in no mood or suitable
frame of mind to spend time with any of my family, and other than quick
glimpses of Lena at school, I never saw or spoke to any of them.
   The last weeks of school-term before the summer holidays, I managed to
avoid all contact with my family.  I usually came in late enough that they
were already engrossed in the TV, so they never heard me come in.  They'd
stopped calling me for dinner, or leaving me any, I never answered or ate
any of it, and I'd developed the habit of moving around so quietly in my
room I'm not even sure they knew I was in there.  All I knew was, I'd been
told they didn't want me near them anymore, and I certainly didn't want to
see any of them again.  I had no more homework, my GCSE examinations were
all over, and where I'd once planned on going into the 6th Form to study
for my A-Level examinations, I thought that would be pointless now.
   All I wanted to do was get out, find a job somewhere a long way away,
and never come back; I had to, I wasn't wanted or needed here anymore.  I
gradually convinced myself that I was no longer a part of this family. 
They didn't need or want me, and I'd hurt everyone too much to go back to
them.  I stopped needing to eat, food just made me sick anyway, and a piece
of fruit in the morning gave me all the energy I needed without making me
feel sick or throw up.  The one thought in my mind was that I had to get
out.  I had some savings; they'd do until find somewhere I could fit in.  I
   t would be true to say that at this point, what dad had said to me had
taken over my mind and I wasn't even remotely rational anymore; the idea
that I wasn't wanted, that I wasn't part of them anymore had completely
taken me over, and the only real thought in my head at any given moment was
that I was supposed to leave, soon.
   Dad had other ideas however.
   I slipped into my room one night to find him sitting on my bed, and mum
standing there, waiting for me; I flicked on the light and there they were.
Mum came over to me, and tried to hug me, but I stepped back; suddenly I
didn't want anyone touching me, and especially not her; the last thing I
remembered clearly about her was the expression on her face as she glared
at me.  She stepped in closer, and hugged me anyway, and it felt...wrong,
unpleasant, and I twisted out of her grasp.
   "Don't do that again, don't...touch me!" I asked her, not really seeing
the shocked, hurt expression on her face, in her eyes; I was busy
shuddering as my skin crawled from the contact.
   "Darryl what have you done?  You're all bones!  Oh my God, you've lost
so much weight...!" There it was, more criticism, one more reason to leave.
   "Baby, we haven't seen or heard from you for weeks; you don't talk to
us, you don't eat anything here, you don't eat lunch in school, you don't
spend any time with us, we don't know where you are, or what's wrong! 
Sweetheart, we're all so worried about you!  Why are you doing this to
yourself?"
   I looked at her with almost complete disinterest in what she was
saying."
   "I'm doing what you wanted, I'm leaving.  I'll try and find a job
somewhere, find my own place, and stay away from all of you, that's what
you both wanted."
   Now dad had a question.
   "Son, why do you think you need to leave?" and I knew the answer to that
one right away.
   "Because I screwed-up so big I can never fix it.  Lena will never be my
little sister again, and she'll never need me again.  So I should go;
no-one wants me here, you told me that; I have no reason to be in this
family, and no need to be here; maybe I can fit-in somewhere else."
   Pretty pathetic, huh?
   Dad sagged, looking old and defeated.  "Darryl, I'm so sorry, I never
realised what we were doing to you.  Your mum and I were mad at you, yes,
but that was then, and we never wanted you out of our family, you're our
son!  We want you here, we want you to go back to school in September, take
your exams, and be what you want.  Come and have dinner with us, we waited
for you..."
   I demurred.  "I had some fruit earlier today, I'm fine!" but dad
wouldn't have it.
   "Darryl, you're starving to death, look at you, you have to eat
something besides a piece of fruit now and then!"
   Mum spoke up again.
   "Baby, how much weight have you lost?" and I grinned at her.
   "Couple of pounds, nothing I couldn't afford to lose, besides, what's it
got to do with you?"
   Mum was shaking her head.
   "Baby, you've lost more than that; look in the mirror, that rugby shirt
is supposed to be form-fitting; it's hanging on you like a sack!T"
   I got mad then.
   "If you people just came in here to criticise, you can leave, I don't
want to hear it.  I don't want to eat with you, and I feel just fine!  Now
could you please just go!"
   The truth was, I didn't want to sit around a table with them; I felt
fine, but I'd become isolated and insular, and I felt that I now had no
connection to these people anymore; I'd done something bad enough to
permanently exclude me from their family, and they'd told me to go, so I
had no way back in; or so I believed; remember, whatever was going on in my
head now, it was mostly irrational, built around an angry outburst from my
father, and my reasoning, if you could call it that, made perfect sense to
me.  Sometimes the mind selects and fixates on the strangest, most trivial
reasons for going off the rails, and I'd derailed so completely I wasn't
even aware of my own altered perception of reality
   Dad wasn't letting go of it.
   "I know Lena misses you desperately, she wants to see you; she'd tell us
she saw you at school, but you always gave her the slip, and we never knew
where you were.  Your little sister spends her evenings crying for you,
she's worried sick about you, son.  We'd check your room, and you weren't
there, your mother and I came to the school time and again, but we never
found you, you'd always disappeared; you don't talk to anyone anymore, you
don't tell anyone where you are, and your friends say you haven't spoken to
them in weeks.  Your teachers asked us to help you, they're just as
concerned with what you're doing to yourself, they know you need help, let
us help you, please!"
   I tried to get across to him what I was feeling.
   "Dad, I don't need any help, I'm fine, and if Lena wanted to see me,
she'd be here.  I feel fine, there's nothing wrong with me, why can't you
understand, I can't be here anymore?  I have to leave, I want you to leave,
and I definitely don't want to see Lena again, not after last time!  "
   And then, behind me, came the voice I'd been dreading the most.
   "But I want to see you, Darryl, please, please talk to me..."
   I turned around slowly, and there was my little sister, crying.  Great,
I'd made her cry again.
   "Go away Lena, I'm not supposed to talk to you!  Didn't you hear me? 
Just leave me alone!" I grated, angry that she was here, and angry with
myself for setting all this in motion, because of her.
   She came into my room and suddenly hugged me, and gasped.
   "Darryl, why are you so thin, what happened to you?  God, there's
nothing left of you!"
   I tried to push her away, and I couldn't; an 80lb girl and I couldn't
move her, I had no strength at all; I might as well have tried to push a
bus uphill.
   Then I realised something; the feel of her hugging me was...pleasant,
like someone had flicked a switch in my brain.  Suddenly I
felt...something, a connection to her I thought I'd severed for good.
   Automatically, my arms came up and held her, the feel of my sister
against me warm, and loving, and concerned; my little sister still needed
me, I hadn't lost her yet!
   Lena slid her hands over my back, and pulled back to look at me, shock,
horror and overwhelming concern in her eyes.
   "Oh God Darryl, what happend to you?  Are you sick?  You've lost so much
weight I can feel every bone in your body!  Look at you, you're emaciated!
What happened, Dar, why didn't you ask me for help?  I would have done
anything for you, you should have known that!"
   Two big tears rolled down her cheeks, and I cursed myself for hurting
this sweet girl again, for trying to kill myself though neglect, because I
thought I'd lost her.  Right there I realised how much I needed her, and
how much she meant to me; she was my little sister,and I loved her, and I
would never hurt her again.
   It took a while for me to truly believe my family wanted me back, had
never in fact stopped wanting me, and I spent all that summer learning how
to eat again.  Mum had put me on a diet of simple food, steamed fish and
mashed potatoes, a little fruit, sugary oatmeal, easily digested food; I
was still too far gone for red meat or pork chops just yet.
   I had daily counselling to help me resolve the eating and image issues
I'd developed, and Lena was the one who helped me the most when the bouts
of depression set in.  Even today, after all these years, sometimes when I
pass a mirror, I get a resurgence of those feelings, and I have to go and
find Lena and she helps me until the depression and the urge to stop eating
and punish myself passes.
   ++++
   My counsellors decided I had made enough progress by September that I
could go back to school, as I had originally intended.  I eventually
completed my two years in 6th Form, passing my exams at age 18 with a
sufficient number of A-passes to get me accepted at the University of
London St George's Medical School to do my MBBS medical training.
   Lena was heartbroken that I would be gone for 5 years, plus another 2
years to do the General Medical Council Foundation so I could get my GMC
License to Practice, but she knew it was what I wanted.  She was 17 when I
left, in another year she'd be at university herself, maybe she'd go into
medicine too.
   All Lena was focussing on, though, was the fact that I'd be gone for
most of the year, with only the occasional visit home for the next 7 years.
   Leaving home to start my training was the most painful thing I've ever
done; mum, dad and Lena took me to London, to the student accommodation
unit, to get my room ready and have a look around the hospital.  Mum was
definitely on the teary side, and even dad was a little gruff at times, but
Lena made no bones about how she felt, and when it was time for them to
leave, her expression was so forlorn I nearly climbed into the car and went
back with them.
   I'd never been anywhere without them, and even though I'd spent so long
being such an obnoxious little cock when it came to Lena, in the last two
years I'd made up a lot of lost time with her, and I missed my little
sister desperately; she'd become my confidante, my partner in crime, and my
best friend, and I didn't know how I was going to function without seeing
her every day.
   The wrench and sense of loss when the car finally turned the corner and
disappeared was almost physical in its intensity.  I know I was growing up
and moving on, and it was supposed to be the start of the next part of my
life, but I felt so fucking bad about letting go of this part.
   The next five years were hectic, to say the least.  I spent as much time
at home as I could, but to be honest, it wasn't that much; Lena had gone to
university, to Warwick, where she studied Law with a Sociology Honour for 4
years, followed by a post-graduate Diploma in International Economic Law,
so I hardly saw her even when I was home, as we were usually out of sync;
when I was free, she was knee-deep in lectures 150 miles away, and when she
was free, I was on Night-Call or research or something.  We only managed to
maintain reasonable contact by phone, and that only occasionally.
   At last, I qualified and obtained my GMC license, now all I had to do
was find a job where they actually needed a newbie with surgical and
clinical skills but no actual real-world experience.  However, after seven
years of running myself ragged, I decided that a job could wait; I wanted
some time with my family.  Lena was newly graduated as well, in the same
boat as me, and looking for some family time.
   When I eventually arrived home, I was disappointed that she wasn't
there, but mum assured me that she would be there that evening, she was
just waiting for her landlord to come around and collect her keys, as she
was moving back to Bristol to save money.  I spent the day on tenterhooks;
I'd not seen her in almost 2 years now, and I was anxious to see her again
soon; I even poked my head inside her room, just to re-acquaint myself with
the place where we'd spent many happy hours talking, swapping confidences,
doing homework together or just being companionable.
   Eventually, I ended up watching TV in the lounge, where I fell asleep
waiting for her, and was awakened by someone dropping heavily into my lap.
My eyes flew open, and there was Lena, large as life, and twice as pretty.
She giggled, and hugged me, and I hugged her back, bursting with happiness
now I had my best friend back.
   "Hello, Angel Eyes!" I smiled, and she giggled as she hugged me.
   I held her out at arm's length to look at her, re-acquainting myself
with her features.  Her glossy chestnut hair was longer than ever, nearly
all the way down her back now, and her blue eyes were, if anything, an even
more intense blue than I remembered, almost violet in their intensity.  And
she was so beautiful; no, I take that back; my little sister was gorgeous!
Her glorious eyes, deep and calm and pellucid, her fair skin lightly dusted
with freckles across the bridge of her cute little nose, her lips a deep,
coral pink.  Naturally fresh-complexioned, and innocent of any make-up or
lipstick, she was just absolutely stunning, a true English Rose.
   She giggled and squirmed under my scrutiny, then jumped up and pulled me
up to go and have a coffee with her in the kitchen with mum.  I couldn't
help staring at her as she walked in front of me, her rear view equally
captivating in the Royal Blue minidress she was wearing, and I found myself
deeply envying the man who eventually captured her.
   "So, Darryl, any young doctresses falling under the spell of your manly
charms?" she asked, grinning, and I grinned back.
   "Nope, bit of a dry spell, what with being on call 24/7 for weeks on
end!" I retorted, "How about you?  Any rich, corporate lawyer-types
circling you?"
   She dimpled "A couple, I like to keep my options open!"
   As we stood and chatted, sipping our coffees, I couldn't help but look
her over.  She really was the perfect package, her short, figure-hugging
dress emphasising her long legs and small waist, and her elegant figure. 
Her long straight hair set-off her tall slender frame perfectly, and all I
could think was how much she reminded me of a singer I'd seen on TV when I
was a boy, Crystal Gayle, except Lena was much better looking!  Her skin
was pale, translucent, like fine eggshell porcelain, no marks or blemishes
except that adorable spray of pale freckles across her nose, and her eyes
were the deepest blue-violet I had ever seen; my little sister really was a
stunner, no two ways about it!  Why she wasn't already married, or at least
engaged, was a mystery to me.
   Dad came in from work while we were chatting, and we gave him the
lowdown on career prospects, preferred jobs, and what we intended to do
next.  I had applied for Orthopaedic Team internships and locum slots at
several London and Home Counties hospitals, as well as signing up to
several specialist medical recruiters.  Lena was looking for a Civil
Service position, hopefully with the Department For International
Development (DFID) in Whitehall, in London, as well as various
international agencies and public bodies, but it was summer, nothing much
was popping in the job world for either of us, so it seemed like a good
time to come home and get together for a while.
   Dinner was wonderful, although dad seemed to be having some sort of
coughing fits, periodically wheezing and coughing discreetly into a wadded
handkerchief, and I resolved to pull him aside after dinner and have a
listen to his chest.  In the meantime, I settled down to enjoy the meal.
   Mum had pulled out all the stops, it was the first family meal I'd had
in over two years where we were all there, which made it all the better for
me.  Dad looked older since the last time I'd seen him, and I realised with
a shock that he'd be retiring soon; he must be, what, 61?  62?  Whatever
his age, he'd seemed preoccupied during dinner, like he had something on
his mind, and even mum seemed a little distracted, and this continued after
the meal, when we were sitting around in the lounge, having a coffee and
chatting.  Eventually, dad seemed to come to a decision.
   "Darryl, I...we need to talk to you, there's something I need you to
know, about you...and us."
   The way he said it immediately put me on alert.
   "What's up, dad, what about me and you?" I asked.
   Dad looked at mum, and she nodded, so he looked back at me.
   "Son, it's about your mother...and your father." Now I was confused.  I
looked at mum, but she was watching dad, and, strangely, Lena.
   "But you're my father, surely?" I asked him, still confused, and watched
his head shake slowly.
   "No Darryl, I'm not.  Your father was Robert Fraser.  His...partner was
Elizabeth, my daughter, your mother.  I'm your grandfather, Darryl."
   Lena clutched my arm so tightly I thought she'd stop the circulation,
but it was barely registering.
   I was floundering.
   "And Lena, is she...?  and dad shook his head.
   "No, Lena's my daughter; she's Elizabeth's half-sister...and your aunt."
   Lena started whimpering, her eyes fixed on my face as they filled up and
spilled over.  I put my arm around her, trying to get my balance here. 
Lena wasn't my sister, I wasn't their son, and my whole family life here
had been a lie!
   "Dad, why are you telling me, now of all times, I'm 25, and now I find
out my whole family isn't my family, I don't have a little sister, my
mother isn't my mother, it's some woman I never heard of, where is she,
where's she been my entire life?  Where's this father of mine, this Robert
Fraser, why has he never showed up?  "
   "Daryl..." began mum, and I glanced at her.
   "And you're my grandmother, are you?" and she shook her head.
   "No Darryl, Elizabeth is from a relationship your grandfather had when
he was in his late teens.  Elizabeth's mother had left her with him and
disappeared, so he brought her up alone.  I married him just after you were
born; Elizabeth was nearly 18 then, and your father, Robert, had been
killed in the Falklands in 1982, a few months after Elizabeth found out she
was pregnant; he was still only a boy himself, only 19.  I met your
grandfather soon after that, and we decided to get married.  Elizabeth
couldn't handle bringing up a child alone at such a young age, so we took
you to bring you up as our son.  Lena came along 10 months later, and we
brought you up as brother and sister."
   "But you didn't adopt me, yes?" I asked her, and she shook her head.
   "And you're not my grandmother?" I asked her, and she shook her head
again.
   "So you're not my birth-mother, you're not my adoptive mother, you're
not my grandmother, so really, you're nothing to me, no relation at all,
yes?" and I saw the hurt in her eyes again.
   "No, Darryl, I'm still your mum, that hasn't changed..."
   I interrupted her.  "No you're not.  You never made a move to make me
yours, you just kept me around, like an umbrella you found on a bus, then
suddenly, completely out of the blue, you choose to tell me.  Both of you
lied to me my whole life, you take away my family, you take away my little
sister, you tell me I'm not even who I thought I was, and you expect me to
be, what, happy that the truth's finally out?  I was happy!  I was happy
not knowing, did that ever occur to you?  How could you rip my family away
from me and shred my life, and not expect me to feel anything?  Why didn't
you just shoot me and stuff me in a fucking dumpster?"
   Dad stirred at that, but said nothing, and mum just looked stricken. 
Lena never took her eyes off me, her whimpering getting louder, until, with
a high-pitched keening, she began crying, holding on to my arm in a
death-grip, rocking as she sobbed, holding me tight.  Mum tried to comfort
her, and she shook her off, pushing her away and scrabbling for a
handkerchief.  I gave her mine, which only seemed to make her cry more.
   I stood up, absolutely sure of only one thing; I had to get out of
there, away from this nightmare, from these people who'd lied to me every
single day of my life.
   As I went to get my jacket and holdall, mum came out and put her hand on
my arm.
   "Daryl, don't go, please, we need to talk!"
   I grimaced, trying not to cry.  "We're done talking, mum, or should I
call you 'Gran'?" and she flinched.
   "Please Darryl, come back in, talk to him, he needs to talk to you some
more, at least hear him out, won't you?"
   I shook my head.
   "There's nothing more to say; you just destroyed my life, you took away
my family, you took away Lena, so I think you've said it all!  Now I have t
go, this conversation is over!"
   "Please Darryl, he has his reasons for telling you, won't you at least
give him a chance to tell you what they are?"
   I took her hand off my arm.
   "I don't care what his reasons are.  You people play-acted around me my
whole life; you aren't my mother, he's not my father, Lena's not my sister,
nothing here is mine; it didn't stop you taking it all away, though, did
it? You took it all away, and now you want to talk!  No, you can't fix
this, mum, or Granny, or whoever the hell you are.  The only person round
here who didn't lie to me is Lena, and you had no problem lying to her too;
I loved being her big brother, she was my little sister, and you took that
away from both of us!"
   "I hate you for what you've done to me, and what you've done to Lena;
she didn't deserve this.  Our whole life has been some kind of weird
theatrical production; no-one in it is who they say they are, not even me;
I'm 25 and I don't even know who the fuck I am.  That's what you did to me,
so are you satisfied now?"
   I picked up my holdall and took out my keys, taking the front door key
off my key-ring and tossing it to her.
   "I won't need this anymore, because I swear to God I will never set foot
in this house again!" I told her, her expression stricken as I turned to
leave.
   Lena came hurtling out to hug onto me, holding me desperately, then
grabbing her coat and bag as well.
   "I'm coming with you; I'm not staying here another second!" she gritted.
   "Lena, what are you doing?" asked mum, and Lena whirled to face her.
   "He may not be your son, but he IS my brother, and I'm going with him.
Can't you even see what you've done?  How dare the two of you pull his
whole world apart!  You took away his whole identity, and then you try and
act like it was necessary.  Did you ever stop to think that this is exactly
what might happen?  He was right; he was happier not knowing.  If you ever
really thought of him as your son, you'd never have done this!  He's right
to hate you; I hate you for what you did!  You didn't have to tell us,
can't you see it was cruel and unnecessary?"
   I opened the door and she walked through it, dumping her bag into the
car boot along with mine, and climbed into the passenger seat.  I pulled
away from the kerb, and got as far as the end of the road before I had to
stop, the tears were making my vision blurred.  Lena held me while I cried
for the past that was gone, and the family I'd lost, and the life that had
all been a lie.
   My mum was gone, my dad was gone, even my little sister was gone, taken
away in a couple of sentences; but then, none of them had ever really
existed, none of it had been true, nothing.
   Eventually I calmed down enough to drive safely, and headed out of town,
down through Clifton and through the centre of Bristol, heading for the M4
and London.  All the way home, it drummed in my head.  Mum and dad had been
lying to me all my life, they'd been lying to Lena all her life, just told
us a convenient lie and left it at that.  They'd said no more about my real
mother, who'd certainly never made an appearance in my entire life; was she
dead, or had she never wanted me in the first place, and dumped me
with...them because they were convenient and I was cramping her style?
   My phone rang endlessly, one or other of...them (I couldn't bring myself
to call them mum and dad anymore; they weren't, were they?) hanging on the
line, hoping for me to pick up.  I let it ring, until they switched to
Lena's phone.  She just switched hers off and dumped it in the glove
compartment along with mine.
   We eventually got back to my place in Tooting Broadway, just around the
corner from St George's, about midnight, only stopping once at the
Chieveley Services on the M4 for Lena to stretch her legs a little.  I live
in a 2 bedroom maisonette, the top floor of a medium-sized Edwardian house,
what they used to call a gentleman's residence back in the days of 'la
belle époque', but the second bedroom was set-up as an
office/storage/work-out space for me, so I gave Lena my room and made up a
bed for myself on the couch in the living room.
   We changed out of our day clothes into something more suitable for
sleeping; Lena into a long Tee-shirt, and me in a University College London
rowing shirt and shorts, and made some coffee while we discussed what to do
next.
   "We can't go back, can we?" said Lena morosely, and I nodded agreement,
although I'd been thinking about why she'd come with me in the first place.
   "You didn't have to come, Sis, they're still your parents," I observed,
and she grimaced back at me, eyes filling again.
   "Fuck 'em!  They should have been yours as well; they should have just
kept quiet and just been your mum and dad and taken it to their graves,
full stop, The End.  You're my brother, no matter what they said, and I'll
take my chances with you, thank you very much!  Like I said, fuck 'em!"
   I had to grin; Lena never swears, she always said swearing is the last
resort of the verbally constipated, and now here she was, cursing her own
parents!
   As if on cue, my 'phone started ringing again; one glance told me it
was...them, again, as if they hadn't got the message by now.  Lena grinned
nastily.
   "Turn it off, let them sweat.  Mine's off, and it's staying off. 
Tomorrow I'm getting a new number, let them try and get hold of me.  You
destroy your family, this is the price you pay.  Bastards!"
   I looked closely at her.  She really was furious, I'd never seen her so
angry before and it was a revelation; Lena was the calm one in the family,
totally unflappable, with the kind of nerveless self-control that would let
her face a charging rhino with a slightly raised eyebrow, and here she was,
simmering and steaming, her legendary self-control finally cracked wide
open.
   "Hungry?" I asked her, and she shook her head.
   "I'm going to bed, Darryl.  You know, you don't have to give me your
bed, I'm quite happy to bunk out here, or we can share the bed, it's got to
be more comfy that that horrible couch!"
   She was making sense.  I was emotionally and physically drained, and
that bed was looking attractive.  Still...
   Lena cocked an eyebrow at me and grinned.  "If you're worried about
climbing into bed with me, I assure you, you're safe; I find you completely
resistible!"
   I had to grin, and nodded assent, if the day ever came when I couldn't
split a bed with my little sister, it would be a bad day indeed.
   We climbed in and killed the lights, and lay there, slowly drifting
away; at least I was, until I became aware of Lena trembling and quivering.
I turned and put the bedside light back on, and she was crying, sobbing
silently.  I didn't ask stupid, inane questions; I knew why she was crying,
I was only a sob and a sniffle from joining her, so I put my arm around
her, and pulled her close, letting her sob into my chest while I stroked
her hair, but not saying anything; what was there to say?
   Eventually her sobbing slowed, then stopped, and her breathing evened
out and slowed, deepening as she fell asleep still clutching on to me.  I
lay awake for a long time, my emotions still roiling as I contemplated a
life without parents, trying not to remember the life I had when I still
had a family, trying not to feel sorry for myself, and not succeeding very
well.
   I woke early, my med student time-sense flipping me from sleep to full
wakefulness with no intermediate state.  I was confused for a moment;
wasn't I supposed to be at home?  Then memory flooded back; there was no
home; this was home now.  Then came the realisation and recollection that
Lena was here with me, and why, with her leg thrown over mine, and her arm
flung across my chest.
   I eased her arm back and her leg off me so I could slip out of bed and
take a pee, then debated getting back into bed or getting dressed.  I
didn't really want to get back into bed with my kid sister; it felt weird
and pervy, so I quietly got a change of clothes and went to have a quick
shower before getting some breakfast.  When I came back, to wake Lena and
ask her what she wanted to do about breakfast, she'd rolled onto her
stomach, with her shirt pulled up around her waist, and I could see she was
wearing a pink thong.  I'd never thought of my sister in a remotely sexual
way before, she was just Lena, and now, here was her very shapely rump
practically naked to my view, just the string of the thong disappearing
into the cleft between her softly rounded buttocks to say she wasn't
completely naked under her sleeping Tee.
   Admittedly, in my time on the wards at St.  George's I'd seen more bare
backsides than a man should see in a long lifetime, but there was something
so sweetly innocent, and yet so furiously sexy about Lena's practically
bare, perfectly formed bottom thrust out at me in that way; innocent yet
desirable.  I shook myself.
   'Get a grip, she's your sister!' I told myself severely, and reached
over to pull the sheet up over her, hiding that lovely bum from my view.
   I had nothing to eat here; I'd expected to be away for a couple of
weeks, or maybe longer, so I'd run the fridge dry, emptied the freezer, and
switched them both off.  Luckily, there was a golden arches at Amen Corner,
just round the corner from the flat, so I went there and bought two sausage
muffins and two orange juices for breakfast.
   When I came back in, I heard Lena call my name, so I pushed the bedroom
door open, and froze.  Lena was on her back, her eyes closed and her
t-shirt pushed right up under her chin, one hand squeezing and tugging her
nipples and the other hand was down inside the front of her thong, working
furiously as she rubbed herself.  I was transfixed; she had lovely firm
breasts, probably 34C or better, a nice handful in any case, topped with
long pink nipples, stiff and delicious-looking, surmounting small rose-pink
areolas.
   "Yes, Darryl, ooh God, yes, like that!" she moaned, and I broke out of
my frozen trance to hurriedly back out before she saw me.  I walked back to
the sitting room in a daze, with just one thought clanging around in my
head; Lena was masturbating over me, oh my God!  Now what did I do?  I'd
seen her, heard her, how was I supposed to act around her now?  Christ, did
she see me?  Fuck, this could get awkward really quickly.
   To say I was super-weirded out would be an understatement; and yet, the
image of her slender figure, her erect nipples, and her hand working away
between her thighs remained with me.  Every detail of her beautiful face
flushed with arousal, her smooth rounded thighs flexing and corded as she
thrust her mons against her hand, and her gorgeous pink nipples, stiff and
up thrust as she pulled and squeezed them was imprinted on my mind.  I
could feel myself getting hard as that scene replayed yet again in my
mind's eye.
   Shaking myself to try and clear the images from my head, I pondered what
to do next.  I knew I wouldn't confront her, even if I wanted to; a
person's fantasies are their own personal property, and if she wanted to
rub-off over me, it didn't really affect me; (or at least it hadn't until
I'd walked in on her and discovered her doing it).  In the meantime
breakfast was getting cold, and I had no burning desire to have anything
like that kind of conversation with my kid sister (even if she wasn't, a
sharp jab of melancholy reminded me...).
   Just then, a loud sobbing moan from the bedroom reminded me what Lena
was doing in there, and she was probably finished now, so time to arrive...
   Getting up, I silently opened and then slammed the front door, to alert
her to the fact I was back, and called out to her.
   "Lena, fast-food breakfast, come and get it while it's edible!" I
shouted, hoping no trace of what I'd seen was in my voice or tone to alert
her I was uncomfortable or embarrassed about something.
   She appeared at the doorway, smiling, still in her long t-shirt, to sit
cross-legged on the couch and dig into her sausage muffin and juice.
   "So Darryl, what's the plan for today?" she inquired, and I looked
blankly at her; I hadn't thought about it, as I'd planned on a fairly
stress-free few weeks with mum and da...them, so my calendar was empty.  I
plopped down on the other end of the couch and looked at her.
   "Lena, I don't know what to do next.  I've got quite a bit of cash
stored up, so that should tide me...us over for a good while yet, but I
wasn't planning on being disinherited so completely, so I don't know.  Baby
steps, I suppose.  Do some shopping.  Look for jobs.  Work out who I am and
where I'm supposed to go now."
   Lena slid up next to me, and wrapped her arm around my waist as she laid
her head on my shoulder.
   "Darryl, you don't need to work out who you are; you're Doctor Daryl
Morgan, graduate of the University of London, St.  George's Medical School,
surgeon par excellence, that hasn't changed, and you're my big brother, and
that hasn't changed either.  The only identity crisis we need to worry
about is the one going on back in Bristol with those two idiots who seem to
think they're not your parents!"
   I had to grin at that.  Talking to Lena was always a lift for my
spirits, her irreverence, wit, observational skills and ability to judge
character were a delight to listen to when she was in full flow.
   She leaned up and pecked me on the cheek.
   "Right now we have more immediate matters to attend to; you have no food
or supplies, so we need to go shopping soon; a muffin for breakfast may
seem like the ideal way to start the day, but that's just advertising
propaganda; we need to get some real food, something to stick to the ribs,
as well as toiletries, all the things they tell us we can't live without!
Thank you for letting me stay with you, I'll go as soon as I can find a
place of my own, I promise."
   I grinned at her.  "Don't be daft, Lena, I'd love you to stay as long as
you want; a day, a week, a month, a year, forever, I don't care; you're my
little sister and it's still my job to look after you!"
   She dimpled at that.
   "And that's why I love you so much, Darryl Morgan!  Just wait 'til I get
dressed, and I'll make you a lunch you'd write home about."
   She dressed in an outfit guaranteed to stop traffic, a tiny black skirt
of some stretchy material that just covered the cheeks of her bum, a
low-cut, figure-hugging black top that outlined every curve and jiggle, and
teetering heels that made her legs go on forever.  If she hadn't been my
sister/aunt/whatever, I'd have a made a grab at her, and she seemed to know
that was the effect she was having on me.  Had she dressed like this just
to tempt me and reel me in?  An intriguing, uncomfortable, arousing
thought.
   We shopped at the local Sainsbury's in Balham.  I told Lena to have a
ball, my treat, buy anything she wanted, and she took me at my word,
loading the shopping trolley with any and everything that took her fancy.
As we strolled around the supermarket, I pushed the shopping trolley, and
she linked arms with me, walking close enough to bump hips with me, and
occasionally flashing me that 1,000 kilowatt smile of hers.
   She got a lot of looks, I have to admit, and I did feel more than a
little ego-boosted to have such a beautiful girl hanging on my arm as
though we were actually a real couple.
   When we got back to the flat, I stashed the groceries while Lena started
cooking, and in an hour we were sitting down to her speciality, a fabulous
Cottage Pie with green beans and cabbage, good, old-fashioned comfort food.
She'd changed into a t-shirt and a pair of track-suit bottoms to cook, and
I couldn't help noticing how they clung to her svelte legs and firm bum.
   I didn't have a dining room, only a small dinette table I sometimes used
for studying, so we ate in front of the TV, one at each end of that
atrocious couch so we could talk as we ate.  Our conversation was mostly
about her parents.  I still couldn't bring myself to resume calling them
'mum & dad'; well, they weren't, were they?
   Lena tapped her fork thoughtfully against her bottom lip.
   "You know, Darryl, much as I thought about it, and tried to put myself
in their place, and tried to see it from their point of view, I couldn't;
they had no right to just cast you adrift like that.  They should have told
you when you were a small boy, or never.  You had a right to know, and they
had a duty to either tell you from the outset, or kept their mouths shut
forever after, amen!"
   I was kind of in agreement with her, but they were still her parents,
and dumping them like that seemed a little drastic.  I said as much to her,
and she looked at me with that diamond-hard stare she'd given her mother
last night as she walked out of her house.
   "I said it once before, Darryl, do pay attention!  They tried to take my
big brother away from me; hell, they DID take him away; in their eyes he
never existed, they just kept you because they didn't know what else to do.
They made my brother into a phantom with a couple of sentences, and they
wonder why you reacted the way you did.  Well, you may not be their son,
but you are my brother, and you're all the family I want or need around me,
end of story!"
   She put her plate down on the coffee table and slid next to me, slipping
her arm around my waist as she rested her head on my shoulder.
   "I want you to know one thing, sweetie; I will never, ever, desert you
or hurt you like that, I swear.  After last night, I know you need me, and
God knows, I need you too, but I need you to know and believe that you
still have family who love you, you have me.  We're family, the only family
we have left, and we need to stick together.  I'll always be here for you,
just like you were always there for me when I was growing up.  OK?"
   With that, she leant up and kissed me, a small, firm kiss on the corner
of my mouth, gentle, loving and genuine, a sisterly kiss, but it burned as
it chimed and resonated through me.
   We avoided the subject for the rest of the day, talking instead about
what we were going to do next, our ideal jobs and how to find them, and
mutual friends from back home.  I'd almost forgotten how much I needed
Lena; almost losing her nine years before had scared me in a way I'd never
thought possible, and she'd become very precious to me, both as my sister
and as my very best friend.
   It was Lena who taught me to dance, who vetted my girlfriends (not that
there were that many; it was Lena I used as a yardstick for comparison, and
not many at all came even close to measuring up to her), and who
commiserated with me when one of my fleeting relationships went south, as
they all inevitably did; I guess, when I look back now, subconsciously I
was looking for the one girl who was everything Lena was without actually
being Lena.  I never found her.
   Eventually, we ended-up side-by-side on that hideous couch, Lena with
her legs curled under her and my arm around her, watching some soppy
late-night movie.
   Chick-flick movies were Lena's one weakness, and I sat with her, mainly
to hand her tissues as she sniffled, sobbed, and gasped along with the
mush-headed heroine, who seemed to me to be going out of her way to fuck-up
her relationship with her equally mush-headed love-interest.  I decided
early-on he should have been out instead looking for a slutty chick with
fewer commitment issues, instead of hoping for some from this dimwit, so I
shut off completely.
   At last, the interminable epic was over, I was almost terminally bored,
and there was a pile of crumpled tissues on the couch next to Lena, so a
successful evening from her point of view.  As the end credits rolled, Lena
made no effort to move, and I thought that (God help me...please) there was
yet another one of these horror stories coming on, but no...
   Lena reached up and pulled my head down, kissed me on the cheek and
whispered;
   "Thank you for sitting-up with me, Dar, I know you hate these films. 
You can let go of my arse now...!"
   I looked at her in mild incomprehension, then my eyes widened in shock
as I realised I was holding her buttock firmly, not even realising I was
doing it in my stunned state from watching that God-awful film...
   I let her go like I'd been scalded, stuttering out apologies as my face
burned, but she pecked me on the cheek again.
   "It's alright, Dar, I know you weren't trying anything on with me, I
could see how out of it you were.  Besides," she grinned cheekily, "it was
quite nice, if you know what I mean!"
   She scootched up even closer to me, took my hand and put it back on her
bum.
   "There, that feels better, I like it there, Dar, keep it there for a
while, please!" she smiled, so I did, much as I wanted to snatch it away; I
had no business holding my sister, aunt, whatever, so intimately, but she
obviously felt differently.  I tried slowly sliding it off her smooth
flank, but she just clicked her tongue and put it right back, growling;
   "I said liked it; now stop moving it away, Dar!"
   We sat for a while, Lena obviously enjoying the feel of my hand on her
taut buttock, and to be honest, so was I; I was at war with myself; part of
me was repulsed at the thought I was effectively groping my kid sister's
backside, but another, darker, hornier part of me was thoroughly enjoying
the smooth supple feel of her delightful rump under my hand.  I began to
make involuntary squeezing, massaging movements with my hand, and Lena
sighed and moved even tighter against me, putting her arm around my waist
and pressing her face into the crook of my neck.
   When I realised what I was doing I stopped, Lena making a small
discontented sound into my neck, but I really thought enough was enough;
after what I'd seen that morning, this was perhaps a step too far.  Instead
I gently patted her bottom, a chaste, brotherly 'tap, tap'.
   "Come on you, it's late, don't you want to go to bed?" I said, realising
how it sounded as the words left my mouth, but Lena didn't bite, she just
uncurled and slid upright, pulling me up with her.
   "Come on then Darryl, you made me get up, so you have to get up too!"
   I grinned and indicated the bathroom to her, she smiled prettily and
slipped into the bedroom to change into her night wear while I checked the
doors and windows and pulled down the window-shades.  Just then, Lena came
out of the bedroom, her toiletries and a bath towel over her arm.
   "I'm having a nice long shower, if I come back and find you snoring and
sprawled across the bed, I'll kick you, got it?" she grinned at me, one
eyebrow raised, and I had to grin as I nodded in agreement.
   I changed and slid into bed, still slightly weirded-out by sharing a bed
with my sister, but made sure I only took up the minimum space on the not
overly large double-bed.  I was just beginning to drop off when I heard
Lena's hairdryer humming in the sitting room.  The rhythmic sound lulled
me, and I fell fast asleep.
   I woke with the scent of strawberries in my nostrils, Lena's shampoo,
but that wasn't what woke me; years of sleeping with one ear open listening
for my pager to go off had honed my hearing to a fine-tuned detection
device, and what had awakened me had been a gasp from Lena, intruding into
my confused dream of soft skin and damp heat, and pulling me back into
wakefulness.
   At the same time a feeling of moist warmth was enveloping the tip of my
penis, which was at an aching pitch of throbbing hardness, solidly,
painfully erect.  A warm hand was wrapped around me, holding me as the
sensation of hot moistness ebbed and flowed.  Lena was holding me, and as I
looked down at her, she looked back up at me, her bottom lip caught between
her teeth as she grinned at me.
   "The sleeper awakens!" she whispered, as I struggled between the echoes
of my dream, and the reality of now, which was that Lena was lying up
against me, naked, her lovely, hard-nippled breasts pressed against me as
she rubbed my cock against her moist hairless slit.  My shorts were half
way down my thighs, so presumably she'd slid them down when she pulled out
my cock.
   I lay there for a moment, enjoying the feel of her dampness against my
sensitive head, the heat from her slit enticing and sexy, before I realised
what we were doing and began to pull away from her.
   "Uh-uh, Doctor-Boy, not finished yet!" gasped Lena, rubbing the head of
my cock against her clitoris, the hard nub obvious against the tender flesh
of my cock head.  She began to gasp harder, her movements faster and more
definite as she stroked her slit against my hardness, the lips dragging
wetly along my length.  Her hips pumped as she masturbated fiercely against
me, until suddenly she went rigid, her eyes rolling back as a spurt of
warmth coated my cock and balls.  Lena shuddered and mewled as her orgasm
pulsed through her, her shudders gradually dying away as she came down, to
collapse into me.
   I held her close, feeling her heart hammering even as I wondered how the
hell I was going to get out of this without really offending her; however,
the one question I wanted to avoid at all costs was the only one I could
think of asking; 'what made you decide to have a wank against me, Lena, now
of all times?'
   Eventually she slid her arms around my neck and looked up at me, no
trace of guilt or embarrassment, just a happy grin as she pulled herself up
and kissed me on the tip of my nose.
   "That was nice, Darryl, I should have done that years ago!" she giggled,
and then laughed at my expression.
   "Oh Darryl, you should see your face; you look like someone just shoved
an extra-large cucumber right up your arse!"
   I looked at her, painfully aware that my erection was undimmed by her
finishing herself off on it; if anything, it was even more engorged, and
her pebble-hard nipples poking solidly into me were not helping matters
any.
   She reached down and started to slide my shorts off, and I resisted,
until I realised that there was no point; I had a tremendous boner prodding
her in the stomach, so modesty wasn't my most pressing concern right now.
   I tipped her head back to look into her eyes.
   "Why, Lena, why now?
   She grinned cheekily.
   "If I'd asked, would you have said yes?"
   I looked away.
   "Probably not."
   She pulled my head back around to look at her.
   "That's why Darryl.  I've wanted to do that, and more, for the longest
time now, but you were gone for so long, and then all that business at home
happened, and I had to choose between the olds and you; I chose you."
   I snorted.
   "Lena, you left your parents because you wanted to rub-off against me?
That's just not rational, and I thought you were nothing but!"
   She kissed me on the base of my throat.
   "No Darryl, I didn't choose you because I wanted a cheap thrill; I came
with you because I've been in love with you since I was five years old;
couldn't you tell?  All I ever wanted was to be near you, all I ever did
was to please you!  When we had that...that thing, when I was 15, and I
thought I'd lost you, I was really afraid you were going to leave, sick as
you were, just sneak away one day and never come back.  I was terrified
they'd find you dead in some squalid room somewhere, starved to death or
with a needle in your arm, or something like that.  I was so frightened I
cried for days.  I used to get up at night, every night, and check your
room, just to make sure you were still there, that I hadn't lost you, but
you never knew, because I wanted you to be happy to be home with me again,
with me, do you understand?  I love you Darryl Morgan, and you're not going
anywhere without me!"
   To say I was dumbfounded would be to put it lightly; Lena?  My kid
sister?  ("but she's not your kid sister, is she?  She's something else,
entirely, isn't she?" whispered a small voice inside me...)
   I stroked her hair, conscious of the fact that my erection hadn't abated
in the slightest.
   "So what is it you want from me, sis?" I asked her.
   Lena slid her hand down and wrapped it around my straining cock shaft.
   "I want this, with you attached, of course, Darryl," she grinned, "I
want to own you and be owned by you, I want you in the morning, at midday,
and at dead of night, any way I can have you, and any way you want to have
me.  I've waited 20 years for you; you owe me for that, even if you were
too dense to see the debt accumulating!"
   I swallowed hard; it was hard to resist her when her hand was slowly
sliding up and down my bone-hard cock; at the end of the day, she was a
lovely girl, and I'd already thought it before; if she wasn't my sister,
I'd have made a serious pass at her, so the thought, if not the intent, was
already there.
   "Lena, you're my sister..."
   She brushed that away.
   "That doesn't matter, Dar; what my parents said and did yesterday threw
you out of their family like you were never part of them; as far as I'm
concerned, that makes you all mine; besides, if they're to be believed, and
I'm still having a debate about that, I'm not your sister, I'm your real
mother's half sister, my damned mother isn't yours, my father isn't yours,
so we only have a vague connection at best.  That doesn't matter, though; I
still want you, and I know you want me; this tells me so."
   She gave my hard cock a squeeze, making me groan.  I thought I'd better
come clean (no pun intended) about earlier that morning.
   "Umm, Lena, there's one other thing; this morning, when I came in with
breakfast, I sort of saw you, you know, doing...I'm sorry, I heard you call
my name..."
   She giggled.
   "Don't worry, Dar, I saw you, it didn't make any difference; matter of
fact, it made it even better for me!"
   I was stunned.
   "You saw...?"
   She grinned back.
   "Of course I saw you; I was wanking, not comatose!"
   I grinned, and she chose that moment to pull herself up to me and kiss
me, a proper, full-contact, lips, tongue and serious-intent type of kiss,
and it nearly blew my cork there and then; a light went on somewhere inside
my head, and all I knew right then was that I wanted, no, I needed her to
kiss me like that again, and again, and again.
   She rolled me onto my back as she kissed me, her hair a sweet-smelling
net over both our faces as my hands, released of all inhibition, slid down
her back to hold and squeeze her lovely, firm, squeezable bum cheeks.  I
felt her grin against me as I gave in to her, finally letting go of all the
past, and concentrated on groping and feeling-up the lovely girl I had here
in bed with me.
   Lena slid on top of me, her knees on either side of my torso as she
straddled me.  I continued holding her arse; it was so worth holding on to,
believe me!  My cock was lying along my stomach, and I could feel the tip
just barely rubbing against her moist slit.  Lena grinned at me and slid
herself back slightly to allow me to just slip between her labia, then
looked down at me.
   "Go easy with me, Darryl, OK?" she asked as she slid further down me,
and my eyes widened as I realised what she was saying.
   "What, never, Lena, really?" I whispered, and she nodded.
   "I only ever wanted this from you, and you were never there, and I
wasn't going to do this with just anyone!  Now just shut up and fuck me,
Darryl!"
   I grinned as I arched my back, Lena pushing herself even further back,
and then I was sliding into her, her lips opening to accommodate me as I
sank fully into her.  Lena's eyes opened wide, her lips forming an 'O' as
she felt the full 7 inches of my fat cock stretch her open, and she slumped
down on me, gasping for breath.
   "Wait Dar, please, let me get used to this.  Slowly, please,
slowly...ooohhh yes, like that Dar, yes, like that!" as I pumped slowly
into her.  She pushed herself upright, her hands flat on my chest as she
slid herself up and down on me, feeling a cock inside her for the first
time.
   As I squeezed and kneaded her lovely bum, she leaned back and clutched
her breasts, rubbing her nipples as she rolled her hips around me, her hips
sliding back and forth like a champion bull-rider; she may have been doing
this for the first time, but by God she was doing it right!
   She began to speed up, her pussy squeezing and releasing me as she
pumped and rolled on me, and her face flushed as she began to approach her
climax.  I pumped and thrust harder, making her breasts jiggle with every
thrust, our combined motion finally pushing her over the edge.
   Lena leaned back, a guttural moan escaping her as she climaxed, and she
rested her hands on my thighs as her pussy clamped down tight on me, a gush
of warmth flooding my cock and lower belly.  She continued to spasm above
me, her hands seeking out mine, and her fingers interlaced with mine as she
spasmed again and again.  She gasped out loud as each new wave of pleasure
billowed through her, the spasms rippling in her pussy as it clenched and
released me rhythmically.  At last she slumped down onto me, her face and
neck flushed, to lay her head against my chest.
   "Wow, Dar, that was...incredible, thank you!" she grinned, her hands
going around me to hold herself tight against me.  "Did you...?"
   I smiled down at her.
   "No, I want to do this another way.  Careful now!"
   With that, I rolled over, taking her with me, to rear above her with my
weight on my hands and knees.  Lena smiled and spread her arms, relaxing
her legs and arching her back, allowing me to slide my forearms under her
and push her nipples up to where I could get to them with my lips.  As I
sucked and nibbled at the delectable pink little pillars, her pussy
continued to gently squeeze and release me, and her sighs and moans became
more pronounced.  She began to move against me, gently raising her hips as
I slowly slid in and out of her, both of us gradually speeding-up as our
excitement mounted until I was pumping into her as fast and hard as I
could. Her legs wrapped tight around me as she pushed herself against me,
meeting me thrust for thrust as we pumped and humped against each other.
   Lena suddenly pulled herself tight against me, her fingers digging
painfully into my back and her teeth sinking in my shoulder almost hard
enough to draw blood as she orgasmed, a whistling scream of release
escaping from her, and this time the sensation of her pussy clamping tight
around me was too much to bear.
   I groaned out loud as I came in a spray of spunk, jet after jet of hot
semen pumping into my sister/aunt, weeks of pent-up pressure hosing into
her in long, endless, satisfying spurts; I can truthfully state I have
never come so much in my entire life; it felt like I pumped a pint of sperm
into her!  The sensation was so overwhelming I continued to pump into her
long after I had finished ejaculating, with my exertions finally leaving me
drained and weak.
   I rolled off before I collapsed on her, slumping down next to her as I
tried to catch my breath.  She rolled on her side to look at me sleepily, a
big smile on her face.
   "Is it always this good, Dar, or were you making a special effort?" she
teased, and I turned to face her, letting her slide her arms around me as I
held her to me.
   "I'm always going to make a special effort for you, Lena.  You said it
earlier; all we have now is each other, we have to make it special for each
other now."
   Lena smiled, but there were tears trembling on her lashes.
   "I've got you now, that was all I wanted, Daryl, and I've never been
happier; I just never thought I'd have to lose my parents to get you!"
   I pulled her tight against me.
   "Lena, you don't have to lose them, you know; they'll always love you,
and they never threw you out or anything like that; you'll always have a
home to go back to."
   She pulled away and looked up at me.
   "And if I do that, I lose you!  No Dar, if that's the price I'll have to
pay, it's far too high, I won't do it.  I want to be with them, of course I
do, but I need to be with you; does that make sense?  I love them, yes, but
I'll never forgive them for lying to us all our lives, and for cutting you
out of our family with a couple of sentences; that was just cruel, that
whole, 'by the way, I'm not your father and she's not your mother, but we
like to think of you as our son' fucking bullshit!  That was
unforgiveable!"
   I grinned; Christ, she really was mad over the way things had turned
out, but I was still sad that she'd had to give up her family for me; sad,
and humbled at the same time; she really did love me so much she was
prepared to give up her mum and dad for me!  As I thought about them my
eyes started to fill.  I'd tried to avoid thinking about them, but now the
facts were staring me in the face; they used to be my mum and dad, too,
until they'd taken that away from me forever, and I missed them
desperately.
   But things had changed irrevocably, and I could never change them back;
I could never again have someone I could call 'Dad', never again have a Mum
to ring on Christmas Day, all that was gone because they'd lied to me. 
Humpty Dumpty had well and truly fallen off the wall, now his life was in a
million pieces, and there was no possible way to put it back together.  The
tears spilled out then, and Lena sat up with an exclamation, pulling me
close as I cried against her.  She knew exactly why I was crying, and
hugged me close as she stroked my hair, just like mum had done when I was
small; but she wasn't my mum, was she...?
   I just have been really tired and drained, because I woke up and bright,
late morning sunshine was spilling into the room.  Someone was spooned
against me, and as I turned to see who it was, memory flooded back.  Equal
parts guilt, arousal, love and attraction chased through me as I remembered
the sweaty interlude of the previous night with Lena, and the declaration
she'd made to me.  Sometime during my time asleep, the part of me deep down
inside that made the real decisions had concluded that she was the one for
me, our past relationship was just that, in the past, and now it was time
to move forward.  I loved her, and I wanted her, and I was going to keep
her, no matter what; if she decided to leave me at some point, I would have
to let her go, but I would fight to convince her to stay; everything
worthwhile is worth fighting for.
   Her eyes fluttered open, and she smiled as she touched the tip of my
nose with her forefinger.
   "Good morning, sleepyhead, how's my favourite nephew?"
   She laughed at my grimace of distaste at the expression, knowing full
well I didn't want reminding of what our actual relationship was.  I
decided to pay her back in her own coin.
   "I'm fine, Aunty!  How's my favourite Maiden Aunt?" I grinned
maliciously, watching her expression, especially the dangerous way her eyes
narrowed.
   "Maiden Aunt, eh?  She gritted, her hand diving under the covers and
gripping hold of my most precious possession.
   "Come, on Smart-Boy, say that again and see what your 'Aunty' does to
your favourite piece of hardware!"
   I held up my hands in surrender, noting how, whether in peril or not, my
cock decided to flex and start firming-up.  As I started planning another
frontal assault on her, a sudden thought stuck.
   "Darling, do you have protection?  We just went at it last night like a
pair of crazed mink, and I never even thought to check.  Should we be
concerned?"
   Lena looked unconcerned, although she did smile at the endearment, the
first time I'd used one on her.
   "You are so sweet!  And no, actually, I don't, but it's my safe time,
so..."
   I climbed out of bed and went into my office, rummaging around inside
the bureau until I found what I was looking for.  Then I went to the fridge
and got a bottle of mineral water, bringing both back to the bed and
handing them to her.
   Lena looked at the foil-wrapped tablet in her hand.
   "Dar, what's this?"
   "It's Levonorgestrel, sweetheart, it's a 'morning-after' pill, emergency
hormonal contraception." I told her.
   "Back in my single days, I had the occasional female med-student of
questionable morals up here for a night of uninhibited point-and-shoot
rumpy-pumpy; having these on hand meant we never had to pay for a night of
thrills with a lifetime of bills!"
   Lena laughed and swallowed the tablet with a gulp of water, re-capped
the bottle and put it on the night-stand, and grinned widely at me.
   "So, you had women up here, eh?  In this bed?  Eewww, remind me to have
it boiled, and maybe you as well, I don't know where you've been!"
   I slid back into bed with her, pulling her down to me to share a long,
happy 'Good Morning' kiss.  Lena happily cuddled up next to me, her hand
snaking down to gently cup and squeeze my scrotum, grinning as my cock
twitched and started to stiffen-up.
   "So, Darryl what were you planning for this morning?" she grinned up at
me, her eyes dancing as her hand worked my cock and balls, both of them
responding to the stimulation.  I pulled her closer, dipping my head down
and drawing her nipple gently through my teeth, the sensation making her
gasp sharply.  I switched to the other nipple, just in the name of balance,
you understand, and also to hear that sexy sharp intake of breath again.
   I lifted back up and kissed her on her beautiful rosy lips, enjoying the
feel, the warmth, the softness, and the joy of ownership; these were my
lips now, for me alone, and I would never let anyone come between us now.
   Lena seemed to be having the same thoughts, her hand coming away from me
to cup the back of my head and draw me even closer as we kissed.
   "I'll never let you go, Darryl, you're mine now!" she breathed as her
lips searched and teased mine, both of us looking for new places we hadn't
kissed yet.
   Her hand had been doing a sterling job on my precious package, but that
kiss did it all, and my cock stretched out painfully, straining out to her
even harder and more erect than last night, it that was possible.
   Lena felt the rigid bar of flesh pressing into her, and slid her hand
down to pump me again, making me groan softly at the sensation.  She smiled
at me mischievously and slid down the bed to kiss my shaft lightly, making
me twitch in anticipation.  She giggled softly at that, and did it again,
feeling the answering twitch again at the feel of her warm lips against me.
She looked up at me, her eyes dancing, and slowly licked the entire length
of my cock in one long, slow lick, making me shudder at the sensation.  She
did it again, teasing me, although it felt like she was torturing me.  She
did it again, her eyes narrowed as she watched me writhe in an agony of
anticipation, and then she slowly, oh!  So slowly!  slid her lips over the
engorged glans, enveloping me in wet warmth.
   I watched in a haze of arousal, twitching as I fought to control my
impulse to just ram myself into her mouth and fuck her face; I wouldn't do
that; this was my sister!
   Lena leaned-up over me, resting on her knees, her lovely heart-shaped
bum in the air as her head bobbed slowly on me, her hot wet mouth engulfing
my cock as she sucked me.  As she sucked, she squeezed and pumped me, and
the three things combined were working their magic; that tensing of the
backs of my thighs and behind my scrotum told me I was getting close.
   "Uh, Lena...!" I gasped, and she glanced at me, smiling around her
mouthful of me, and sucked even harder, pushing me over the edge.  As the
head of my penis swelled, she sucked one last time, and that was it.  I
came in a rush of sperm, long spurts filling her mouth, and she gulped and
swallowed each pulse of spunk as I ejaculated.  My back arched and my
stomach muscles tightened as I came, endlessly, it seemed, my eyes
whiting-out with the intensity of my climax.
   At last I stopped spurting, Lena licking and sucking the last remnants
of sperm as it bubbled and oozed from my still-rigid cock, before swirling
her tongue around the head, cleaning me off, and then sliding back up to
hold me close.
   "There, baby, a present all for you!" she grinned, and I had to smile
back; I couldn't speak, my heart was trip-hammering and I was still trying
to catch my breath!  Eventually things calmed down and I was able to speak
again.
   "Wow, Lena, where the hell did you learn that?" I grinned, and she
looked at me with hooded eyes, a small, secret smile on her lips.
   "Sunday School...!" she replied, and knowing Lena as well as I did, that
was all the answer I was ever going to get...
   Something else had been buzzing in my head, and with that reminder of
school it suddenly popped into focus.
   "Lena, you said you were a virgin, but I remember, Jason Lawrence told
all his friends that you and he...you know...!  I beat the ugly off him,
then beat it back on again for telling that story around, but it wasn't
true, was it?"
   Lena smiled up at me, one eyebrow cocked.
   "No, it wasn't true, you were my first, OK?"
   I back-pedalled furiously.
   "Look, sweetheart, I wasn't doubting you, and it makes no difference to
me, I wasn't exactly pure as the driven snow myself, but I thought...and
after just now, well, there's a little...experience there, yes?"
   She smiled archly at me.
   "Darryl Morgan, if you're asking about my sex-life before you, I was a
true, blue, card-carrying virgin until you relieved me of that blessed
state, but I wasn't locked in a chastity belt, and I certainly didn't spend
my spare time playing scrabble and drinking cocoa with nuns!  I've had a
few...adventures, okay?  I even met a few boys I thought could be the one,
but none of them was convincing enough to turn me off you, so I never went
all the way with any of them; I'd just about decided to take a crack at you
this summer anyway."
   "If you rejected me, or told me you didn't feel that way about me, well
and good, I'd at least be able to move on and try and find someone I could
have, who I'd want as much as I wanted you.  Then all that stuff happened
at home and I finally had you all to myself, for the first time ever. 
Think of the irony; it took my family throwing you away to let me finally
catch you!"
   I had to grin at that.  Without conscious thought my hand slipped down
her back to cup her wonderful behind, and I began to squeeze and massage a
cheek as my hand caressed her satiny skin, enjoying the feel of her lovely,
plush girl-flesh.  My other hand slid lower, to slip between her legs and
rub lightly between her lips, feeling the soft damp folds open under my
fingers.
   I slipped one finger inside her, making her gasp and grind against me,
and we kissed as I continued to slip one finger in and out of her moist
pussy, teasing her and making her gasp and wriggle against me.  She began
to push herself against my hand, sliding my finger deeper inside her with
every thrust of her hips, and I obliged, rubbing her pussy faster and more
firmly with my free hand.
   As I rubbed and frigged her, I slid down the bed and between her parted
legs, kissing slowly and softly up her inner thighs, and blowing gently on
her puffy lips, making her writhe and hold my head still.
   "Damn it, Darryl, don't torture me, just do it!" she gritted, and I
grinned at the note of pleading in her voice.  I kissed her vulva, dragging
my tongue lightly over the crease between her lips, feeling them swell and
open as I lingered there.  A rich, sweet, musky, earthy scent was rising
from her, the scent of her arousal, powerful and alluring, flicking
switches up and down my limbic system, pulling me in as I lapped and gently
sucked her.  Lena responded by moaning and squirming against me, pushing
her mound back into my mouth as I pressed forward.
   I reached under her and took a double handful of her firm backside, and
lifted her hips so I could attack her mons better with my tongue.  Lena
responded by gently thrusting against me as my tongue delved deeper and
deeper into her, licking and sucking at her succulent, syrup-drenched
flesh. When I sucked her clitoris, she gasped and stiffened, her breathing
becoming faster and more ragged, and her movements against me became more
pronounced, more rhythmic, building to her climax.
   I licked, sucked and nibbled her delicious pussy as she rubbed herself
over my mouth, and when I licked and then poked my tongue into her
shell-pink little bum hole, she screamed my name as she came in a
shattering orgasm.  Her whole body shuddered as she pounded and rubbed
herself frenziedly against me, and a warm gush of sweet, salty, tangy,
musky nectar filled my mouth.
   Her orgasm rolled on, her pussy convulsing against my mouth as wave
after wave engulfed her until she slumped back down, her head thrown back
and her face and neck flushed, perspiration beading her forehead.  A pulse
beat strongly, rapidly, in the base of her throat as her heart raced, and
her chest rose and fell as she tried to catch her breath.
   Lena opened her eyes and smiled blurrily at me, holding out her open
arms in invitation, and I slid back up level with her, quickly wiping my
face and chin on the bed sheet as I did so.
   "Wow, Darryl, that was...amazing!" she grinned, "If I'd known you were
that good, I'd have climbed on your face years ago!"
   I kissed her on the tip of her sexy little nose.
   "All in a day's work, I assure you, Miss Morgan!" I quipped, watching
the answering twinkle in her eye as she reached up and gently nipped my
chin with her white, even teeth.
   "Thank you, Darryl!  I love you, baby!" she murmured, briefly kissing me
once on the lips before slotting her head into the angle of my head and
neck, and sighing as she fitted herself against me.
   I rubbed her soft warm back.
   "I love you too, Angel Eyes!" I whispered, and kissed her lips gently as
she stretched sleepily against me.
   Lena was fast asleep, and I nearly was too, when there was a soft knock
at my door.  Perhaps I should explain a little at this point.  The
downstairs maisonette had it's own front door, and we shared a communal
street door with a keypad entry device; only people who'd been given the
code could use it to come in, and then they would have to knock on one or
other of the inner front doors, depending on who they were visiting; it was
done that way to keep random intruders out and prevent tramps from dossing
in the downstairs hallway, so whoever was knocking had the entry code,
probably one of my pals from St.  George's.
   I staggered out of bed, still half-asleep, managing to slip on a pair of
shorts and weave my way over to the front door.  I pulled it open fully
expecting to see one of my friends, but there outside the door, looking
apprehensive and somehow smaller than I remembered, was mum.
   to be continued....
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BigGirlsDontCryCh01