Celestial Reviews 315
"Celestial Musings" by Author 5.
This one oughta receive the award for "creative plotwork." But how often have I said that to myself as I read the other four stories as well? Anyway, this author suggests that my original incarnation with this newsgroup occurred as a sort of trial assignment when I applied to Apollo's office for a vacant Muse position in the Olympic pantheon. More specifically, the reigning Muses had given me the assignment to inspire a newsgroup devoted to sex stories to produce something that could be classified as 'good literature'. This author has applied to erotic literature the Dragnet method for writing a screenplay. The writers for that old TV cop show used to read a pamphlet on a topic-of-the-week and then have Sergeant Friday and his faithful sidekick deadpan the main ideas as lines in the weekly screenplay. "You say the perpetrator penetrated you from behind ma'am?" "Yes, that's right." "So, what's your problem?" "The son of a bitch sodomized me, and I enjoyed it!" "So, what's your problem?" "Sodomy is evil. The bible says so!" "No, ma'am. That's a misinterpretation based on sociocultrual norms of primitive peoples in which the victors in military engagements used to routinely rape both the male and female members of tribes they conquered." "I see! So consensual sex is right and beautiful if it occurs as an expression of mutual respect!" "That's close enough. Let's stick to the FAQs. ma'am. You're a blonde. You dye your hair, don't you?" "Kemo Sabe right. Anal sex sometimes heap good on lonely nights in desert even when them both men!" Oops! Wrong sidekick. Here are the words the present author puts into my mouth: 'I was amazed at the talent I found. There wasn't just the occasional good story but many. Some were without a doubt worthy of a much larger audience and were better than some pieces that are recognised as 'good literature'. However my main aim was not just to create awareness of the need for correct grammar but to encourage the readers to provide feedback to the writers. The thrill that a writer gets from knowing that someone had read their words is indescribable. It is possible that someone who has written something grammatically incorrect and with a ludicrous plot may with enough encouragement keep on writing and could one day produce a classic piece of literature. If nothing else I find it reassuring that in such a visual age that so many humans are taking the time and effort to write stories. They all deserve the reward of knowing that someone has read their words.' I couldn't have said it better myself. In fact, I probably did say it myself. This author has simply used the British single quotation marks instead of my more mundane double quotes. This was a thoroughly enjoyable story. However, I would like to insert the following brief passage right after the Interviewer asks me, 'What would you say is the greatest piece of literature ever?' * * * "Well," replied Celeste, "It certainly isn't Paradise Lost!" "I represent that remark!" said a blind man stepping forward from the epic poets' corner. "Paradise Lost was my best work until those goddam Puritans took all the sex out of it. I'll grant you that what's left is a melancholic mess of misanthropic mediocrity, but.. "What do you expect, when you lose sex from Paradise?" interrupted Erato, possibly with collaborative inspiration from Thalia, who sometimes dabbles in irony. * * * I submit the previous insertion as evidence of why I had better stick to reviewing stories instead of writing them. Ratings for "Celestial Musings" Athena (technical quality):10 Venus (plot & character): 9.5 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5
Tiramisu (One of the judges)
Janey, after reading your SPOTLIGHT I'll have to read more of VickieMorgan's stories.
I felt that Celestial Musings was written in a hurry. It kind of rambled in the middle, and there were more than a few errors... but, the fact that there was writing skill did show through.
I thought the ending didn't quite work. Appollo is a god. He has a human body, but it seems he didn't know about sex until Celeste showed him that it was something the humans had thought up. I didn't quite buy that.
Perhaps because it was a contest with a deadline, Vickie did not have time to polish the story as much as usual.
As one of the judges, I must admit, I copped out a bit: I rated Rosetta by Nick #1, and then had a tie between the next four stories. There was another I rated sixth, but it was withdrawn before the final judging.
Why four stories in a tie?
Well, I thought "Musings" was the best story idea, but hurriedly written. I thought Janey's story was more fun, very humorous, a bit more technically correct, but a bit confused or confusing toward the end. I think the story would have been better if a bit shorter.
David's story had the tightest, cleanest writing, but it wasn't a lot of fun. Homer's was sexier, but it took a long time to get to "the good parts" and I did have a problem with the plot. So...I couldn't decide between the best story idea, the sexiest, the most fun, or the best writing.
And why was Rosetta best? Well, it had everything. It was probably a close second in every category: sexiness, tightly written (ie no rambling), pretty error free, and a fun plot, and a fun read.
I'd be interested to see more discussion... especially from the other judges who voted quite differently than I did.
And I did give Homer ratings for the four stories that were tied in case he wouldn't allow ties. For now, i'll just say it wouldn't have changed the outcome of the contest.
And to all who entered the contest, congratulations and thanks... It was a tough subject, and the latest CR gave credit where credit was due!
AGREE OR DISAGREE?
