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Greetings! My name is Stanley Kubric. After making many big-
budget motion pictures, I graduated to making the finest movies of all...
porno movies! I hope you caught my first porno film, �Eyes Wide Shut.�
Unfortunately I had so much fun editing it that it gave me a heart attack,
so now I�m dead.
That�s why you�re able to read this, my last Will and Testament. I
Stanley Kubric do hereby bequeath to one holy joe all rights to the sequels
to �Eyes Wide Shut�. The first sequel will be titled �Night Visitor�. (But
I have many more sequels planned.)
Would you like to film the sequel to �Eyes Wide Shut�? It�s easy!
Simply send one million dollars to holy joe. Then you can film �Night
Visitor�. If you would like to film more sequels, send more money!
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Copyright 2001 by Andrew Roller.