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Little girls on T.V.
THE ROLAIDS REPORT
I used to be a slacker. But now every morning 12 little girls get me
out of bed! It�s a pedophile�s dream. No, I haven�t moved to some open-
minded Nordic country. I�ve subscribed to the Disney channel.
Recently I discovered the T.V. show Madeline. It features a dozen
darling little girls, one of whom is named Madeline. She and her friends
live in France. They don�t have any parents. They live in a big old house,
with one nun. Either they are orphans or they are boarding school girls.
However, unlike the traditional boarding school show, which is all about
girls drinking, smoking pot, and getting laid, these are little girls. They
are rambunctious, modestly spoiled young females, who seem to be
unconsciously waiting for men to stroll up to the house and marry them,
one by one. (Obviously that is a few years away but one can easily see
that happening, especially since the show is set in the 1930�s, when girls
were indeed supposed to grow up and get married.) Already in one episode
a painter falls in love with the little blonde girl Yvette. In another
episode the girls win a prize in a �Can Can� -style dancing contest.
What a delight it is to see a show featuring traditional values!
Madeline�s episodes were made in 1990, 1993, 1995, and 2000. While an
early 1990 episode does feature a mild dose of feminism, the later
episodes, from 1993 on, are wonderfully feminist-free. And as holy joe
remarked in a previous posting, one can make connections between the
girls of Madeline and the girls in Anne-Marie�s house in Story of O!
I am taping all the episodes of Madeline. Disney has been known to
edit its own cartoons, editing out images of smoking from the 1930�s and
1940�s Disney shorts, for instance. So who is to say that Disney won�t
read this posting and decide to screw around with Madeline, editing it and
dumping loads of feminist claptrap into it? So, by taping every episode, I
can assure myself of always owning the pure, �feminist free� version of
Madeline. However if someone at Disney is reading this post, allow me to
make this complaint:
At the end of every episode of Madeline, there is a surprise waiting.
As the credits roll, there is Parisian-type music playing. Then, all of a
sudden, when you are about to turn off the T.V., the little girls� voices
suddenly burst into song, over the music. What a delight it is to hear
those little girls sing forth yet one more time, when you think the show is
all over. However, lately the Disney channel has been having some woman
narrator�s voice come on during Madeline�s ending music. This woman
promotes the following show. As for me, I don�t give a damn about the
following show (some dumb cartoon about beavers). And I certainly don�t
want to listen to some damn woman talking, when I could be hearing the
little Madeline girls singing! So please, Disney, tell your woman
announcer to shut up during Madeline�s ending music. If I was interested
in listening to some stupid woman, I�d be watching the Lifetime channel.
Sometimes immediately after Madeline a music video comes on,
during the Disney �station break�. The music video that I have been seeing
features 10 and 11-year-old girls dancing. It also features a three man
band, composed of grown men, playing instruments. I find it really sexy
and cute to see a 10-year-old girl dancing in front of a man. I mean, it
just totally validates my whole view of the world, to see a 10-year-old
girl dancing erotically in front of a man, who, in the video, is leaning over
her shoulder. I have watched that video many times, wishing that
wonderful young girl could be my girlfriend!
In the afternoon Disney runs live-action shows featuring attractive
12 and 13-year-old girls. Unfortunately the girls are standard American
trash: sluts who are pretending to be less sexually experienced than they
actually are. The dancing 10-year-old, in the music video in the morning,
is an authentic, sexy young girl. But the girls on the shows in the
afternoon are just junk. Sure, they might look nice, but they seem fake to
me. Perhaps they are simply too old for me.
In the evening Disney used to run old Disney films. No more. Now
they run high-school shows, like �In a Heartbeat�. However one gets the
feeling that very few high-school students are actually watching these
programs. After all, it is the fucking Disney channel! Recently Disney
even pre-empted some high-school programs to show Winnie the Pooh! So
my assumption is that the high-school shows are being watched by
wanna-be junior high viewers, or even elementary school viewers.
But here is the basic pattern of Disney programming: morning and
early afternoon is programming for preschoolers. Yes, I am well on my
way to being half a century old and I love Madeline, but I guess that�s
because I�m a �pervert.� The programming is actually aimed at
preschoolers. (After all, at 11:00 a.m. on weekdays, who is home and able
to watch T.V., other than little kids who aren�t in school yet?) However I
would recommend Madeline to anyone, and certainly to my fellow
pedophiles. Also I would recommend Rollie Pollie Olie. That is an
outstanding show featuring a little boy and his baby sister Zowie. (Yes, I
am in love with Zowie, who has just recently learned to say �Okie Dokie�.
She�s still working on the rest of her vocabulary.)
Another great channel is the Sundance channel. I have started
calling this �The Wayward Girls Channel.� I only recently subscribed and
already I have seen tons of movies and documentaries about teenage girls.
Unlike the fake teens on the Disney channel, these are real girls that you
can actually care about. Some of them are quite cute. The first show I
bumped into on Sundance was a show about teenage girl models! The show
followed several real girls who were trying to break into the modeling
profession. As you can imagine, some of these girls were pure
masturbation material! One girl, who was not featured but who showed up
in the footage, looked like a perfect Lolita! I don�t know how else to
describe her except to say that she had a terrifically cute, vulnerable look
about her.
That same morning, on Sundance, I saw a show which I think was
called Girls Like Us. It was quite an interesting program. It was a
documentary that followed four girls through their entire high school
career. Two of the girls were quite cute. The ending music, which I think
is by Brian Eno, is really cool.
More recently I saw a fictional movie called Whatever. That was a
great movie. It was made after the passage of the Hatch Act, and in it you
actually get to see a 17-year-old virgin deflowered. Sad to say, I have no
experience of this in real life so it was quite educational for me. I guess
this means the Hatch Act is toast, eh? Good riddance!
Even more recently I saw a movie called Fun. That was a really wild
movie. That movie probably had a greater impact on me than any of the
other �wayward girl� movies I�ve seen on Sundance. Even though one of
the girls does a very bad thing, I fell in love with her anyway. (Naturally,
it is the younger of the two girls that I fell in love with.) She is a totally
cool chick. (Even cooler than you think, once you get deep into the movie
and find out more about her!) She has this fantasy that she�s a Ninja
(among other psychological disturbances), and that �Ninja armies are
gathering in the hills.� She will blow your mind and make you sad by the
end of the movie. (That�s how almost all the Sundance movies end,
whether they�re about girls or not.) By the next morning I was in love
with the �Ninja� girl. I was actually walking around crying, thinking
about her.
I have probably seen other �wayward girl� movies on Sundance, but
that�s all I can remember right now.
Dwight Rolaids
(Dear holy joe... yes, Rolaids is my last name. Please don�t tease me
about it. And thanks for printing this little article I wrote. I don�t have
Internet access right now.)
(P.S. A really good movie on Sundance, that unfortunately doesn�t
have any girls in it, is �Beau Travail�. It is a movie about the French
Foreign Legion. You might think it sounds boring and, frankly, it may be.
But fortunately for me I got to see part of the movie, and then I saw the
ending. Whoa, man! The ending of that film blew my mind! It was the
most horrific type ending I�ve ever seen, scaring me more than any horror
movie ending I�ve ever seen.
You might not be scared of the ending. Or you may mistake what you
think I�m calling the ending for what in fact is the actual ending. All I can
say is, watch the movie to the very end, including the ending music, and
then see if you aren�t scared, or at least deeply moved. Especially if you
have been alive for awhile, like me.)
30
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