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                                            Women�s Rights


         It has been said that I do not believe in women�s rights.  This is 
totally false.  Where do these lies keep coming from?  To put this 
particular piece of calumny to rest, allow me to speak for a moment on 
women�s rights.  I, holy joe, belive that women are fully entitled to the 
following rights:

         1.  A woman has the right to get pregnant.
         2.  A woman has the right to fix me dinner.
         3.  A woman has the right to clean up the dinner table after I�m 
finished eating.
         4.  A woman has the right to clean the toilet.
         5.  A woman has the right to do my laundry.
         6.  A woman has the right to wear a corset, garters, lace mittens and 
stockings to bed with me.
         7.  A woman has the right to an education, particularly, to learn 
about sex when she�s 8-years-old.
         8.  A woman still living with her parents has the right to date 
whomever she pleases, no matter how much her father and mother don�t 
like the guy, or his motorcycle.
         9.  A woman has the right to feed my dog.
         10.  A woman has the right to see that my dog gets his daily walk, 
and to clean up his poop with a pooper-scooper.
         11.  A woman has the right to keep quiet when me and my dog are 
eating.
         12.  A woman has the right to find something to do when I�m 
watching wrestling on Friday and Saturday night, provided it�s knitting, 
sewing, or doing more of my laundry.
         
         So, just as we have the Ten Commandments, we now have the Twelve 
Rights of Women.  Oh, yes.  And there is one more right:

         13.  A woman has the right to step aside when I meet a new woman, 
and decide to have two wives instead of one.

30

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Copyright 2001 by Andrew Roller.
    

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